Bound to Earth: A CK2 Earthbound Quest in an 8-bit Dystopia

I'm worried about any plan that shows off our PSI abilities, so far we're just a girl with a baseball bat, all Buzz-Buzz could find.

If we show off healing or obliteration powers then we transform into an actual threat and someone Giygas could be personally interested in. If we do it then we basically have to deal with all witnesses that could report to their superiors. If we can manage this without showing off more than our mean baseball skills we'd be lower down the threat rating.
 
I'm worried about any plan that shows off our PSI abilities, so far we're just a girl with a baseball bat, all Buzz-Buzz could find.

If we show off healing or obliteration powers then we transform into an actual threat and someone Giygas could be personally interested in. If we do it then we basically have to deal with all witnesses that could report to their superiors. If we can manage this without showing off more than our mean baseball skills we'd be lower down the threat rating.
I remind you this quest started with Gigyas trying to kill us with a lamp. he knows we're a threat at least.
 
[X] Plan: Straight To The Point!

I'm worried about any plan that shows off our PSI abilities, so far we're just a girl with a baseball bat, all Buzz-Buzz could find.

If we show off healing or obliteration powers then we transform into an actual threat and someone Giygas could be personally interested in. If we do it then we basically have to deal with all witnesses that could report to their superiors. If we can manage this without showing off more than our mean baseball skills we'd be lower down the threat rating.
Agreed, but lets keep it as an ace in the hole.

It's night, and the main issue is 'Starman Shitty-AoT-Protagonist' here. Any witnesses would wisely get the idea to run, and given how PSI works, rumours could work to our advantage.

Still, PP is a factor, and PSI does tire us out. Trying to use the nuke last time exhausted us, so I'd sugest we keep it as an ace for after we've whitteld down some of these numbers (and, ideally, have our PSI barriers up so that we don't need to worry about BEAM).
 
[X] PLAN: BAMBOOZLE
-[X] Antagonize the Starman into attacking their allies (1 Action)
-[X] Find Something of Use (1 Action)
-[X] Renew PSI Shield Σ (2 Actions)
 

Vandalize New Signs (Martial)

1d100 = 52+16 = 68
DC: 15/40/65
[TIER 3 SUCCESS!]
Hooray for vandalism!

Speak to your Neighbor (Diplomacy)

1d100= 12 + 7 = 19
DC: ???
[...]
...
Long, drawn out, sigh of suffering.
Great. We have Porky. Great.
He's going to be negative in most of his stats. On purpose.

Try to Heal People for Money (Stewardship)

1d100 = 16 +10 = 26
[Tier 1 Success]
DC: 20/40/80
My god CD, we know you have a delinquent aesthetic, but can you not look like your here to steal livers while trying to help people?!

Intrigue Break into the Mayor's House (Intrigue) [Buzz Buzz]

1d100 = 76 +3 +14+(Loyalty Bonus = 1.4 rounded down to 1) (The3rdCorinthian's 400 EXP) +4 (Known Paradox's 100 EXP) +1 = 99
DC: 30/60/90
[SMAAAASH SUCCESS!]
Hooray for vandalism! 2: Buzz Buzz Boogaloo.
Pre-stamped you say? Don't mind if we do.

Help Your Siblings Study (Learning)

1d100= 76+7 = 83
DC: 15/20
[2nd Tier Success!]
Awwwww, this is wholesome.

(Buzz-Buzz) Try to Lay Low

1d100 = 2
TWO!?!?

[STARMAN JägeR has come to assassinate you!]
[x4 Animated Lamp Posts trundle out of the dark, reaching out to end your life…]
Violence it is then. Let's kick his ass.
GET THE HELL OUT OF OUR TOWN!


First off, I'll accept any thanks you guys have, no biggie.
Here's one for you. Thanks.
 
I just read porky stuff it seems like he's a great intrigue hero for us I feel like we should do some like bonding stuff with him just so that he won't screw us over and you know maybe actually try to make him a good person.
Also Crosswire can we use XP in battle for our rolls just curious.
 
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I just read porky stuff it seems like he's a great intrigue hero for us I feel like we should do some like bonding stuff with him just so that he won't screw us over and you know maybe actually try to make him a good person.
Also Crosswire can we use XP in battle for our rolls just curious.
He probably won't be good, on purpose if I know the fucker, but from what I remember he probably has pretty good Stewardship and either Intrigue or Diplomacy, he keeps sliming into positions of power and authority so he must have some people skills in some way. The Stewardship skills are self-explanatory, since he seems to be good at his job whenever he does it, and runs an empire in Mother 3.

We might have to unlock his true stats since he's a dick.
 
That went rather well, and then rather poorly.

[X] Plan: Straight To The Point!

The only reason he hadn't lost his job at the bakery was because his shift had five minutes after the appliance related murder attempt and his boss couldn't ask questions if he didn't pick up the phone.
had ended five
"So me what hurts. If you didn't read the sign, this is cash only. If you don't have any, the hospital has an ATM you can use. Don't let the bitch of a nurse chase you out from using it."
Show
And no sooner do you falter do you cave.
Think there should be a than in here somewhere?
A hear a high pitched whine, like the pulsing of some kind of energy as the air around you becomes unbearably hot.
You
 
Huh. The Porkster's actually one heck of an Intrigue hero. It may take some time to get him on our side, but...Could be useful, actually.
 
[X] PLAN: BAMBOOZLE
-[X] Antagonize the Starman into attacking their allies (1 Action)
-[X] Find Something of Use (1 Action)
-[X] Renew PSI Shield Σ (2 Actions)
 
[X] Plan: Straight To The Point!

That 2 hurt me upon seeing it.

Anywho, Martial's our highest stat, so going for options that use that for CJ is one of the smarter options we can take.

On a side note, hopefully we don't accidentally help form a Medusa Cult in Onette when banker guy starts going off the rails.
 
Even though that intrigue stat looks good, I'm not sure having Porky help with our intrigue actions is the best idea at least for the near future (though that my also depend on what options we have to work with). Probably we should have him help with stuff like stewardship options where he might also stand to benefit from our success or something.
 
Name: Porky Minch
Image:

Stats
  • PSI: 0
  • Martial: 1
  • Diplomacy: 3
  • Stewardship: 9
  • Intrigue: 24
  • Learning: 6
Opinion: ???
Traits

  • Conniving Ally: If Porky is assigned to an Intrigue action where the result is a critical failure, a second roll will be made. If the result of that roll is a critical success, it will replace the original result. Otherwise the result of the first roll will be kept.
  • Heavyset Operator: Porky's physique sucks and that's not changing anytime soon. He begins with a Martial of 1 and has severe penalties against increasing it. However, when operating a combat vehicle or mechanized unit, he is considered to have a Martial of 12 and whatever Martial bonus he'd receive from what he's operating is doubled.
  • Uncertain Moral Character: You cannot see Porky's opinion score.
Description: Your heavyset neighbor that you've loosely known since you were a little kid.

Fat, slovenly, and seemingly untrustworthy, Porky isn't generally well liked by most people around town. If not for his selfish behavior then due to his abusive, openly toxic parents.

In spite of all of his shortcomings however they seem content throwing their hat in the ring with you and helping you, in their own capacity, with your endeavors.
Porky's Intrigue is amazing for our level, and makes a few Intrigue options now actually viable now that we'd have a total +27 (not counting the opinion bonus we can't see). Finding Evidence of The Invasion is now a coinflip instead of long odds, and Spreading Rumours is well within reasonable bounds of success. Alongside whatever new potential options open up.

His Intrigue trait of potentially replacing a crit fail with a crit success is potential lifeline, and we'll probably be very thankful if that ever procs.

If we recruit the Sharks hopefully Franky would be open to making a mech suit for Porky too.

And as ever, Porky is permanently suspicious, but we shouldn't hold it against him.
 
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Porky's Intrigue is amazing for our level, and makes a few Intrigue options now actually viable now that we'd have a total +27 (not counting the opinion bonus we can't see). Finding Evidence of The Invasion is now a coinflip instead of long odds, and Spreading Rumours is well within reasonable bounds of success. Alongside whatever new potential options open up.

His Intrigue trait of potentially replacing a ceit fail with a crit success is potential lifeline, and we'll probably be very thankful if that ever procs.

If we recruit the Sharks hopefully Franky would be open to making a mech suit for Porky too.

And as ever, Porky is permanently suspicious, but we shouldn't hold it against him.
I do not want to give Porky a mech suit. That seems like a terrible idea.
 
I do not want to give Porky a mech suit. That seems like a terrible idea.
Treating Porky like he's going to betray us the second we turn our back and hand him any power won't be conductive towards a positive relationship! Or at least convincing him not to flip towards our enemies.

Did his low DC to convince him to help us and the comparisons CD made soften my view towards him? Maybe.

Will he betray us? Possibly! It may even be probably! But I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt. Also Porky crushing people with a mech suit is never not funny.
 
Let's do this.

Martial

Nothing bad to say here, but also nothing notable. What you see is what you get - I suspect Shark-related Diplomacy and Intrigue DCs will be lowered next turn because of this.

Diplomacy

As a good few of you may have noticed, we got Porky as a Hero Unit! And... yeah. His statistics aren't looking great. Still, extra aid with an action and an extra Personal Action per turn is nothing to sneeze at! I'd like to begin...

Diplomacy Sub-Section ~ Porky Run-Down

Let's start off by saying - dear god, Porky has no PSI. He's a sitting duck for the Attack Slugs. Combined with his naturally low Martial score, we won't be sending him off into combat any time soon - at least unless we can find him some kind of machine to pilot. Which, for now, unless we luck into something from the city, like a Sniper Armor from WilyCorp; the source is likely to be the Frankystein - that means that we have yet another reason to go after the Sharks.

...by the way, letting Porky help with Diplomacy is a death sentence. There's a reason why he said everybody hates him.

Despite his mediocre Learning, Porky can cover well enough in Stewardship; giving us that extra push if need be.

Porky's Conniving Ally trait is a saving grace for us, giving us a saving throw to prevent Buzz Buzz from dying on Intrigue actions. Combined with his naturally high Intrigue - he's basically our perfect Intrigue cover. Cass's Intrigue is her lowest stat, and we can put Buzz Buzz to use with other actions - like Learning. With Porky, we can sneak into the Arcade very easily; or, if we're lucky and push, find evidence of the Invasion. And we desperately need evidence.

After all, without evidence - it's going to be really hard to form an Organization. We need to use Porky - even if he hypothetically has -100 Opinion of us; he's still the best Intrigue unit we've got, there aren't any signs that Giygas has shown up yet for him, and if he has any hidden traits - we don't know what they are, so we can't plan for them yet.


Stewardship

Money! It's a nice bonus, and combined with what we've gotten from Intrigue; we might be able to get that house on Beak Point.

Intrigue

So, let's count it up. Triple the money we got from Stewardship, Buzz Buzz is on the boundary of increasing his opinion bonus, and we have the Prefilled Mayoral Paperwork - which could be used wisely in a variety of ways, though I'm going to need to see next turn's post to have a proper think on how. All I can think past that are the opportunities for what we can buy with these funds.

Learning

Not much of a surprise, but this went really well. We've gained a further connection with our siblings, had a small Learning Boost, and essentially have a third Hero Unit helping out our actions next turn! Not bad, not bad at all.

In terms of lore details... Floppy wants to work for Metpharm, Kart wants to work for GD Tech - Mother Brain and Agahnim, respectively. Well, we can be proud that it isn't Eggdyne. Pretty League, as shown in the update, is a reference to PlayStation game Doki Doki Pretty League - a baseball management sim/visual novel where the player coaches a team of high-school girls to play baseball.

Try to Lay Low (Buzz Buzz)

...I'll tackle this in its own post, tomorrow.

What I will say for now is this - I'm not surprised. I do think it may have been a better idea to go for other actions in retrospect.
 
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Porky's Conniving Ally trait is a saving grace for us, giving us a saving throw to prevent Buzz Buzz from dying on Intrigue actions. Combined with his naturally high Intrigue - he's basically our perfect Intrigue cover. Cass's Intrigue is her lowest stat, and we can put Buzz Buzz to use with other actions - like Learning. With Porky, we can sneak into the Arcade very easily; or, if we're lucky and push, find evidence of the Invasion. And we desperately need evidence.
Er...Porky's trait only applies on actions he's assigned to, as does Buzz Buzz's. And, since we can't two hero-units at once, by definition, they will never apply at the same time.
 
I do think being biased against Porky is natural, given what we know, but let's give him the benefit of a doubt. As for what the battle plan is, let's do the simple things first, try to reduce their numbers and move out of the open area. Buzz-buzz's PSI shield may hold even if we don't renew it, but better safe than sorry.

[X] Plan: Straight To The Point!
 
I do think being biased against Porky is natural, given what we know, but let's give him the benefit of a doubt. As for what the battle plan is, let's do the simple things first, try to reduce their numbers and move out of the open area. Buzz-buzz's PSI shield may hold even if we don't renew it, but better safe than sorry.

[X] Plan: Straight To The Point!
Yeah, the life of one of the most loathsome villains in retro gaming is WAY in the future. Right now, he's just...A kid. A bit of a jerk, a coward...But also an abuse victim. His coin's in the air at the moment.
 
Just had a random thought about a negaquest omake in which Porky becomes the protagonist, probably due to negaquest user posting the plan as a joke and it gaining traction. Might write something related to that.
 
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