STAR TREK: A Long Road (Voyager Fix It Quest)

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay! I posted a story and got scared everyone would yell at me and then hit me with sticks, which made me too scared to write on SV. Because I have a normal brain!

Harry and Mariner glanced at eachother as they approached the two guards. "Uh, well..." Mariner said, but Harry knew what to say. He stood at attention and saluted back.

"We're here carrying a missive from Commander C'Nola for Force Captain Amy Strong," he said, firmly as he swept his arm out, then lowered it back to his side. "It's for the Force Captain's eyes only, and cannot be trusted on open coms."

"I see," the guard said, narrowing his eyes slowly. Then his partner frowned and stepped forward - his hand dropping to the phaser that was slung at his hip. His fingers hung above the curved handle as his lips split into a slow scowl.

"Then why did she send two of you?"

Harry and Mariner exchanged a glance - and this time, it was Mariner who came up with the response. She punched Harry in the stomach, hard. "You fool! You forgot the most important part - that we are two lowly worms, who are unable to be trusted carrying the message unless both of us were here to keep an eye on the other." Harry wheezed, honestly shocked at how hard Mariner could punch. He rubbed his belly, nodded, and stood as he did so.

"Yeah," he gasped as the two guards started to laugh.

"That's our catgirl," one said, smirking.

"Indeed," the other said. "I do hope one day we'll get to actually use that whip on her cute bottom."
"Indeed," the other said. Harry shuddered from his head to his toes - he didn't want to hear about the workplace harassment going on at this place. He and Mariner stepped inside - and she whispered softly to him.

"You know something weird?" she asked.

"Yeah?" Harry asked as they looked over the huge bridge of the Voyager in this timeline - and he saw just how jammed packed it was with officers and consoles compared to the bridge that he was used too. It was like an old Constitution class bridge, but multiplied twice over. Half the consoles were clearly designed for coordinating damage control teams and phaser banks, requiring an insane level of redundancy...which meant these consoles weren't multipurpose or reprogrammable. The rational for both hit him and made him honestly feel kinda sorry for these people: A reprogrammable console was a huge risk when put into the hands of these crew. God. Imagine living like that.

"No one's having any sex," Mariner said, clicking her tongue.

"What?" Harry asked, then glanced over her body - using his eyes to indicate the...the uniform.

It was no secret across the Federation just how fucking horny the Mirror Universe Terran Empire girl uniforms were. It was basically a cliche that if a girl, or a boy, or an enby was of a certain age on Halloween, they went as a Muteg and used every excuse they had to flash their belly muscles and their butts. Harry had dated a boy who had gone as a Muteg every time he had a chance to. Come on Harry, it's cute!
And there had been certain, ahem, logistic advantages when it came to having drunk, poorly advised sex in an unused classroom during the senior Halloween dance. But once Harry had gotten to the Academy, the rate of Mutegs dropped off wildly. Most people in Starfleet found the uniform as embarrassing as mono-maroon era with the big Starfleet delta on the belt buckle, even if it was only embarrassing as proxy.

"Seriously, dude, you saw those cabins. If you were in one of those cabins back on your Voyager, what were your chances of just, waking up to some gay sex, even behind a privacy shield?" Mariner whispered.

Harry frowned.

"...you know, that's a good point," he said, then shook his head. One nice thing about the bridge being this heavily populated was that no one had really noticed them yet. Also, the crew were mostly focused on their duties - so he had time to spot Katheryn Janeway, who was lounging on her command throne, with a dangerous, articulated collection of knives and blades in a spiderish configuration that had to be D-91 sitting next to her in a servile position. Janeway was playing with a knife in her hand.

"What should we do today, D-91?" Janeway murmured.

"Youuu should eat Harry..." D-91 gurgled.

Harry blanched.

"Think he's her right hand man?" Mariner asked, grinning and elbowing him.

"No, no, Harry said right hand woman," Harry said.

The side door that led to the Captain's private meeting chambers opened and out emerged...Katheryn Janeway, dressed in black bondage uniform that criss crossed her body in leather straps, with a domino mask on her face, and a pair of phaser pistols slung low from a curved belt that looped her hips.

"I'm bored, sister-dearest," she purred. "I want to kill."

"Soon, my Phoebe, soon," Captain Janeway crooned as her bondage clad twin sauntered over to the main command chair. "We're just thinking if we should finally cut to the course on Ensign Harry Kim."

She, D-91, and Phoebe started to laugh as once.

"Oh my god! That's not even a thing, that didn't scan at all!" Mariner hissed. "Also!" She grabbed onto Harry, yanking him out of the line of sight of everyone, hiding beside a console, where a tired looking ensign was tapping the same repetitive set of button pushes again and again. He blinked, lifted his head, opened his mouth to say something - but Mariner karate chopped the back of his head without even looking at him. As he collapsed onto the console, unconscious and unnoticed by the rest of the crew, she hissed. "They're gonna fuckin eat you, dude! This is just like Captain Georgiou!"

"The captain that died, then came back, but it was actually her evil universe self and she ate all those people?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, that one, I was using an extremely specific reference to an exact situation for brevity cause we don't got time to explain every little detail of our crazy ass situations!" Mariner said, hissing softly. "That's why we study all the fucking logs, dude!"

"Right!" Harry said, blushing. "...shit, what do we do?"

"...we could just start phasering everyone," Mariner said, quietly. "Wide an...shit."

"What?" Harry whispered.

She yanked out her phaser, showing it to him. "It's a fuckin' piece of shit 22nd century phaser! They have two settings."

"Fuck!" Harry hissed.

The two of them peeked out, then ducked back down again.

"Okay, they're still laughing evily," Mariner said, quietly. "We have time to plan."

---
CURRENT MOMENTUM: 0
CURRENT TRAITS

[ ] They find breathers, then Harry can come out and distract them with his succulent body while Mariner fiddles with the atmosphere controls to flood the bridge with knock out gas.
[ ] Fuck it, start phasering people. You have surprise on your side, so, like, you just need to shoot fast enough
[ ] Mariner can come out and spin a yarn about Harry hearing that he was going to get eaten and is hiding, to draw off some bridge crew?
[ ] Fuck around with the computers to fake an attack as further distraction
[ ] Write IN