Esquestria: The House of the Sun - A pony cultist experience

Voted best in category in the Users' Choice awards.
Dear reader! Whether you are new here, archive-reading and whatnot, or you are already someone who has been with us for quite a while, I would like to say a few words that I believe are best kept close to mind.

-This is an MLP quest. And more importantly, none of us are gratuitously cruel. So good things will happen on this quest, and I hope that enough good things have already happened to prove that.
-This is also a horror quest, so bad things will happen. Bad things might happen to good characters if you are not able to protect them, and you most certainly will not be able to intervene if you lack the tools to do so.
-And finally, this is a quest in which you jostle with powers greater than yourself, with all that it entails.

Please, do keep those things in mind as you go forward. But ultimately, this is also a quest in which it is hoped we all have fun! So if any of the above points is not exactly your cup of tea, or somehow make the experience as a whole "not worth it", then this quest might not be for you. Which is fine! Individual tastes are a thing, so don't think any more about it if you don't want to read anymore. And regardless, I hope you have a lovely day!

PSA for whoever needs to hear it:

Readers should take their own mental health into consideration when voting and not subject themselves to triggering narrative elements like rape or constant mental torture of a friend just for the Greatest Good of a world that doesn't exist.

If those are fine for you or Regrettable is even more triggering, then GREAT! More power to you. But you aren't a bad or selfish person for picking the option that keeps the characters you've emotionally connected with safe. [REDACTED for spoiler warning]

This is a high intensity quest that doesn't hold back when it comes to horror and negative consequences. Take care of yourself.
(Quote slightly edited to avoid spoilers)
 
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[X] You shake your head in denial. This, just now, was wrong: There are better ways to do this. YOU know better ways to do it. But it is undeniable that you do know no a lot, about almost everything else. Your cult has an established structure and is growing, and you have a position of power within in, but after tonight, you do not intent to stay forever.
 
Hey @BirdBodhisattva something I wanted to ask, but if we do choose the "subtle betrayal option", would we be pretending we didn't? Like how the loyalty option mentions us showing it in every small action, and us growing quicker as a result. Could we still act like that, still get that benefit? I ask because usually if you're planning to betray someone it's best to make them think you're loyal as possible all the way up till you finally strike, and we would want to be as strong as possible besides. It also seemed less of a mechanical benefit and more of a narrative reaction to a "loyal" pony, so if we acted the same would it still work?
 
Hey @BirdBodhisattva something I wanted to ask, but if we do choose the "subtle betrayal option", would we be pretending we didn't? Like how the loyalty option mentions us showing it in every small action, and us growing quicker as a result. Could we still act like that, still get that benefit? I ask because usually if you're planning to betray someone it's best to make them think you're loyal as possible all the way up till you finally strike, and we would want to be as strong as possible besides. It also seemed less of a mechanical benefit and more of a narrative reaction to a "loyal" pony, so if we acted the same would it still work?
The point of the actual loyalty vote is a billion little things that communicate that we're extra devoted. If we aren't actually loyal then we probably aren't even going to think about them.

'The master gives you more neat things and favor' also seems pretty mechanical, in the sense that those neat things and favor are likely to increase our lore and add to our artifact pile. I don't think we should get the rewards without the downsides.
 
The point of the actual loyalty vote is a billion little things that communicate that we're extra devoted. If we aren't actually loyal then we probably aren't even going to think about them.

'The master gives you more neat things and favor' also seems pretty mechanical, in the sense that those neat things and favor are likely to increase our lore and add to our artifact pile. I don't think we should get the rewards without the downsides.
Okay, those are fair points. IRL I would definitely expect a traitor—a competent one at least—to portray all those little things on purpose, and of course they wouldn't have the worry of getting rewards without downsides, but here I can see why it wouldn't work like that.
 
I'd like to be the bad guy for once.

[X] You realize that you had a smile on your face: Princess Luna is weak, but she still bears immense power. She is like a spoiled child, unaware of what she could do if she had the will to, so perhaps the term "Princess" really is fitting, after all. You will take her power, or you will take her, and then you will take what comes next. Everything between here and there will become means to those ends.
 
[X] You shake your head in denial. This, just now, was wrong: There are better ways to do this. YOU know better ways to do it. But it is undeniable that you do know no a lot, about almost everything else. Your cult has an established structure and is growing, and you have a position of power within in, but after tonight, you do not intent to stay forever.

[X] You loudly decry your master. A moment too late, a second after his presence is gone, but you are heard by everypony else: What you did tonight was wrong, and your Master either knew of the consequences, or he is not wise enough to be worth following. But regardless of what he is, you will actively oppose him.

[X] You left. You broke. You galloped away, screaming, and you arrived home limping, your leg cramped with debilitating pain. No more of this. No more.: You do not want to have anything to do with this anymore. The ritual was too wrong, the memories of Princess Luna too vivid. The worms were too frightening.

Not into MLP or Cultist Simulator, but binging through the quest was fun.
 
[X] You nod, a grim understanding coming to you: Equestria is in danger, and something must be done about it. You have not reached the point where you think a line has been crossed, not when considering what you have just seen. But you will keep that line close to your heart, for you know that you will lose something the day you cross it, and it is not something you wish to lose if you can avoid.
 
And so, an omake - my take on an "origin story" that would explain Velvet's cutie-mark and her reaction to Luna, at least.
(I might write a followup, if there is interest. We'll see.)

Stories
Actually, would folks mind offering a bit of feedback about this? Writing this was a challenge for me, and I'm not sure how well I pulled off what I was going for. If you read this, I would appreciate if you answered some questions.

Mainly, I'm wondering if I managed to portray Storyteller!Velvet's character/personality properly. There are certain traits that I had in mind when writing:
  • Velvet is not exactly neurotypical. She is a lot more intentional about how she reasons about the world and acts towards it than is normal. She also has an unusual sense of priorities; when she picks something to work on she tends to intensely focus on pursuing it, to an obsessive degree.
  • Velvet isn't empathetic. She doesn't feel for other ponies, at all. When considering courses of action, she doesn't intuitively get a sense for "how others would feel about it". Basically, she has no emotional response to other ponies being happy, or hurt, or in pain; those things entirely lack impact for her. She still considers the feelings of others intellectually, because that affects how they act; but inside her head it is more "push a button, get a response; if you want the right response, push the right button"; not "if I push this button, I'd make Mom sad, and I don't want her to be sad because that feels bad".
  • Velvet really likes exerting control over other ponies. It is an almost competitive feeling, the sort of satisfaction you might get after winning a game or surpassing a challenge - only multiplied tenfold. The type of control she ended up settling on as "her thing" was controlling what other ponies believe, and how they see the world. Basically, the idea that her choices got to shape ponies - that, if she had but desired it, the way the ponies around her view the world would have been noticeably different - that fills Velvet with a sort of savage glee. Normally, Velvet only indulges a little, content with shaping how others see her. A small slice of their inner world, but a slice nevertheless. Sometimes, when occasion allows, she goes further - but you don't see that in the post I wrote. The opportunity hasn't come up just yet. But, the idea of being able to claim more - well, it is certainly appealing.
So, the last point is something that I didn't have room to really expand on, but I hoped that the first two points came through enough to be noticeable. So my question is: did they? What sort of impression did my Velvet originally convey? And how well does it match the characteristics/motivations outlined above?

Other things I'd love comments on, if you are willing to provide them:
  1. Does the explanation of the cutie-mark make sense? Is it satisfying?
  2. Can you see this character having the reaction that we see in the "smile" Villain vote?
  3. Any other comments? Stuff you liked/disliked? Lines that worked/whiffed?
Anyways, major thanks to anyone who offers their input, good or bad. I massively appreciate it.
 
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In my opinion, the omake was great. Delicious, even!

I think it accomplished all stated goals? We got the [why/reasons], the [how/ways] and the [who/personality], which paints a detailed enough picture.

Perhaps she isn't quite sadistic enough to be the "smile" Velvet as taken by face value, but she still can be her? (if it makes sense)
 
[X] You loudly decry your master. A moment too late, a second after his presence is gone, but you are heard by everypony else: What you did tonight was wrong, and your Master either knew of the consequences, or he is not wise enough to be worth following. But regardless of what he is, you will actively oppose him.

[X] You shake your head in denial. This, just now, was wrong: There are better ways to do this. YOU know better ways to do it. But it is undeniable that you do know no a lot, about almost everything else. Your cult has an established structure and is growing, and you have a position of power within in, but after tonight, you do not intent to stay forever.
 
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[X] You shake your head in denial. This, just now, was wrong: There are better ways to do this. YOU know better ways to do it. But it is undeniable that you do know no a lot, about almost everything else. Your cult has an established structure and is growing, and you have a position of power within in, but after tonight, you do not intent to stay forever.
 
[X] You shake your head in denial. This, just now, was wrong: There are better ways to do this. YOU know better ways to do it. But it is undeniable that you do know no a lot, about almost everything else. Your cult has an established structure and is growing, and you have a position of power within in, but after tonight, you do not intent to stay forever.
 
Let's see the tally?
Adhoc vote count started by Kamico on Sep 27, 2020 at 4:13 PM, finished with 141 posts and 66 votes.
 
[X] You nod, a grim understanding coming to you: Equestria is in danger, and something must be done about it. You have not reached the point where you think a line has been crossed, not when considering what you have just seen. But you will keep that line close to your heart, for you know that you will lose something the day you cross it, and it is not something you wish to lose if you can avoid.
 
...yeah, tie bad.

[X] You nod, a grim understanding coming to you: Equestria is in danger, and something must be done about it. You have not reached the point where you think a line has been crossed, not when considering what you have just seen. But you will keep that line close to your heart, for you know that you will lose something the day you cross it, and it is not something you wish to lose if you can avoid.
 
I kinda want
[] You realize that you had a smile on your face: Princess Luna is weak, but she still bears immense power. She is like a spoiled child, unaware of what she could do if she had the will to, so perhaps the term "Princess" really is fitting, after all. You will take her power, or you will take her, and then you will take what comes next. Everything between here and there will become means to those ends.

but this will do.


[X] You nod, a grim understanding coming to you: Equestria is in danger, and something must be done about it. You have not reached the point where you think a line has been crossed, not when considering what you have just seen. But you will keep that line close to your heart, for you know that you will lose something the day you cross it, and it is not something you wish to lose if you can avoid.
 
...You know what we need? We need more Forge lore. Like, it's pretty much the only Lore we'll have left at level zero after this, assuming we stay neutral, and whenever we get around to learning how to summon spirits, it's needed for almost all the best summons. Hell, even the Caligine—which is the summon with the best Moth Lore, bar none—requires a decent amount of Forge Lore to summon.
 
...You know what we need? We need more Forge lore. Like, it's pretty much the only Lore we'll have left at level zero after this, assuming we stay neutral, and whenever we get around to learning how to summon spirits, it's needed for almost all the best summons. Hell, even the Caligine—which is the summon with the best Moth Lore, bar none—requires a decent amount of Forge Lore to summon.
I found a couple good sources for lore concerning Forge. :V
 
[X] You nod, a grim understanding coming to you: Equestria is in danger, and something must be done about it. You have not reached the point where you think a line has been crossed, not when considering what you have just seen. But you will keep that line close to your heart, for you know that you will lose something the day you cross it, and it is not something you wish to lose if you can avoid.
 
[X] You shake your head in denial. This, just now, was wrong: There are better ways to do this. YOU know better ways to do it. But it is undeniable that you do know no a lot, about almost everything else. Your cult has an established structure and is growing, and you have a position of power within in, but after tonight, you do not intent to stay forever.
 
[X] You shake your head in denial. This, just now, was wrong: There are better ways to do this. YOU know better ways to do it. But it is undeniable that you do know no a lot, about almost everything else. Your cult has an established structure and is growing, and you have a position of power within in, but after tonight, you do not intent to stay forever.

We literally did have a better way too is the good part, since we had the option of shmoozing our way into her graces with our noble prowess.

I also like this one:

[X] You loudly decry your master. A moment too late, a second after his presence is gone, but you are heard by everypony else: What you did tonight was wrong, and your Master either knew of the consequences, or he is not wise enough to be worth following. But regardless of what he is, you will actively oppose him.
 
[X] You nod, a grim understanding coming to you: Equestria is in danger, and something must be done about it. You have not reached the point where you think a line has been crossed, not when considering what you have just seen. But you will keep that line close to your heart, for you know that you will lose something the day you cross it, and it is not something you wish to lose if you can avoid.

[X] You shake your head in denial. This, just now, was wrong: There are better ways to do this. YOU know better ways to do it. But it is undeniable that you do know no a lot, about almost everything else. Your cult has an established structure and is growing, and you have a position of power within in, but after tonight, you do not intent to stay forever.


[X] You loudly decry your master. A moment too late, a second after his presence is gone, but you are heard by everypony else: What you did tonight was wrong, and your Master either knew of the consequences, or he is not wise enough to be worth following. But regardless of what he is, you will actively oppose him.

Any of these would be good to read.
 
Adhoc vote count started by Pittauro on Sep 28, 2020 at 12:45 PM, finished with 151 posts and 70 votes.


with discussion having died, right now only it's coming down to these two options: cautious acceptance and cautious betrayal.

The more extreme plans have been refused apparently

Everyone who hasn't voted for one of these two, you should consider choosing your lesser evil.

Same for the ones who have voted for both.
 
[X] You shake your head in denial. This, just now, was wrong: There are better ways to do this. YOU know better ways to do it. But it is undeniable that you do know no a lot, about almost everything else. Your cult has an established structure and is growing, and you have a position of power within in, but after tonight, you do not intent to stay forever.

[x] You loudly decry your master. A moment too late, a second after his presence is gone, but you are heard by everypony else:
What you did tonight was wrong, and your Master either knew of the consequences, or he is not wise enough to be worth following. But regardless of what he is, you will actively oppose him.
 
Huh, someone gilded the last Update, that might (together with the lurkers making important decisions) explain some of the popularity of this vote.
 
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