Well, the choice is either nightmares or monetization, and as a designated good guy Lena's only allowed to get dollar-sign eyes if a) it's going to go wrong and teach a valuable life lesson, b) she already learned the life lesson and calms down on second thought, or c) is talked out of it by a mentor/hot-blooded rookie/etc.

Though given the strong humour genre influence, I suppose you can't rule out d) the resulting funds will be spent on things that are utterly frivolous and/or to set up a later joke...

... yeah, the safe money's on D, as in :D
 
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Non-Canon Bloopers 1
Special thanks to @saganatsu, @DB_Explorer, @fictionfan, @Adephagia, @DaGeek247, @Wordsmith, @Taut_Templar, Jamie Wahls, @Elfalpha, @BunnyLord, @Drcatspaw, @Conspiracy, @tinkerware, @Lonelywolf999, D'awwctor, and my 16 other patrons not mentioned here. An extremely enthusiastic "Thank you" to @Torgamous for her patronage as well. Also, if you're not on here, you fit the tier, and you want to be added, please tell me. >.>

AN: I'm afraid I started coming down with something yesterday and it's in full blast today, so no proper update today at the least. Have this as a snack.



"There is such a thing as a close non-romantic relationship between two people, Minnie. I'm not even sure if Kara likes women."

"You could ask her."

Lena froze like a planet accidentally pushed away from the star it orbited, which hadn't been QA's fault.

"It's none of my business," Lena eventually managed.

Minnie huffed.

"Fine. I'll ask her."

"Minnie, no–"



Kara, currently in her full Supergirl costume, strode into the hidden room Minnie was apparently eating breakfast within. The adorable little girl glanced up and furrowed her brow as Kara approached.

"Was it a good idea to reveal your identity to Lena outside an adequately secured location?"

Kara nearby broke her surroundings by stumbling. She narrowly managed to do neither and turn it into a completely intended swoop for a seat.

"Ah, I'm not quite sure what you're talking about. I'm Supergirl. Kara should have mentioned me?"

Kara desperately hoped that Minnie believed her or took the hint as the child alternated between looking at Lena and Kara, a frown growing more pronounced with every passing moment.

"How stupid do you think I am?" Minnie asked, sounding simultaneously judgmental and deeply offended. "I may need to reevaluate our alliance."



"Hi J'onn! Do you have a few minutes to help me with something?"

J'onn took one look at Kara's hopeful visage and pinched his brow.

"What did you get yourself involved in this time?"

Kara thought that was remarkably unfair.

"You don't need to act like I'm some delinquent," Kara complained, carefully pulling his office door shut behind her. "I was just wondering if you'd be able to help make a bit of paperwork go a bit faster?"

J'onn, if anything, appeared even more unimpressed with her.

"Whomever you're hoping to help can go through the normal Alien Amnesty Act waiting periods like everyone else. Do you have any idea how it would look if I interfered?"

"But–" Kara protested. That isn't even what I was going to ask about!

"No."



Perhaps Lena should ask Bruce Wayne for a reference to whatever law firm had helped him with his own series of serial adoptions. Half the time, the tabloids hadn't even known about an extra child until months after the process was finalized. Popular gambling sites even had ongoing wagers for when he would adopt yet another black-haired child with blue eyes.

...On second thought, Minnie was almost the type of kid he was known to collect. If Gotham weren't so dangerous, Lena might even consider that to be a viable plan. Since it was, though, Lena would keep Minnie as far away from him as possible.



"I'm not supposed to be left alone with you without adult supervision."

The gleam in Serling's eyes was a terrible, terrible thing.

"I am an adult," she revealed.

"I can hear you two plotting!" Lena called from another room.

Serling didn't so much as blink.

"Perfect, even Lena agrees that we're supervised."



Lena looked down at Minnie's peacefully slumbering form and sighed.

I really, truly hope that your teenage rebellious phase doesn't involve an actual armed rebellion.



Lena took one look at the pile of poker chips in front of Minnie, the very angry set of blackjack players at the table, and back to her smug-looking child. She pinched her brow.

"Why?"

"Locals do not appear to be very good at understanding the probabilities of any given outcome," Minnie explained smugly.

"That's a how, not a why."

"They clearly weren't making very good use of their resources. I can do a better job with them."



"Surrender, Shell!"

The high backed chair-turned-throne swiveled around and left Kara staring at the figure responsible for months of attack waves against National City. The disturbingly tiny figure. Kara had expected them to be taller.

"Supergirl," the small, red-armored figure said in a high, childish voice. "I was trying to fight Administrator. Please leave."

Kara gazed through the armor and saw an eerily emotionless little girl within. She couldn't even be twelve years old.

"You're a baby?"

She couldn't punch a little kid, let alone one so blatantly under mind control! Where was the actual villain? Shell's parents, maybe?

"Incorrect. I do not belong to that age category."

Kara sighed, stride forward, and absentmindedly batted away the buzzing biological saws that tried to cut her apart.

"Is someone threatening you?"

"Yes."

Kara could have collapsed with relief. Coercion wasn't good, but it was better than a preteen genius willingly using her powers for evil.

"You," the child intoned ominously, and the wall behind her cracked open to begin revealing a familiar green glow. Kara shot backward and down the tunnel she'd arrived in before she could feel more than the start of nausea.

Happy feelings gone. Still, at least the Kryptonite meant Kara knew the actual culprits: Rao-damned Cadmus!

"I'll rescue you soon, okay?" Kara called.

"...Is this another human euphemism for murder? 'Rescue from life's suffering?'"

Kara wanted to start crying.



Minnie immediately reevaluated the situation. This wasn't just someone trying to evaluate if Minnie's personality was compatible with this society's culture and standards. They could allegedly help. Minnie resorted to the most impressive positive character reference available to her.

"Supergirl."

Doctor Relaj did not appear as impressed as anticipated.

"Someone who knows you personally, Minnie, not a superhero. They don't know everything and can't help everyone."

"Supergirl," Minnie repeated.

"Minnie, even if she's rescued you before or you've spoken with her, that isn't what people mean when they ask if you 'know' somebody. Think about the people you could call in an emergency and know that they would answer."

"Supergirl."

"Minnie, just—please, pick someone else. And not another superhero."

Minnie fought the urge to strangle the stupid, stubborn non-host even if it might increasingly deserve such treatment. The idea was tempting, though. There were plenty of doctors in the hospital; they could afford to lose one.
 
Supergirl and Superman have at least some government backing despite all the xenophobia; there's a definite feeling that they might be aliens, but they're America's aliens.

They wouldn't be nearly so sanguine about them if they had originally appeared in Mexico.


"Locals do not appear to be very good at understanding the probabilities of any given outcome," Minnie explained smugly.


"In hindsight, this explains a great deal about my interactions with humanity."
 
The blackjack snip kind of made me want to see Lena and Minnie bond over a few games. Which reminded me of that one scene from Mishap where Lena showed how.... passionate she can get when playing chess. Let it be known that Minnie is no slouch when it comes to the practical application of advanced mathematics.
 
Its not like she would be horrified by most evil plans.
Actually... in a comic book world? She would be horrified by most evil plans. They're almost always highly inefficient, making poor use of available resources, tend to be aimed to cause large amounts of wasteful death (but that's repeating a point), and are usually so the villain can permanently defeat their target, rather than allowing them to engage in an appropriate cycle of unlimited escalation!

(Edit: Well, maybe I should say constantly improving conflict instead of escalation, because of QA's bad experiences with Escalation, but you get my point.)
 
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Shell Mid-Monologue With Supergirl

Shell: "...Is this another human euphemism for murder? 'Rescue from life's suffering?'"

Interrupted by the sounds of a helicopter drone.

Shell: "Oh Noo 😱"

Drone (Lena): Minnie, why are the expenses so high for this month's resources!

Shell bolts away towards the nearest window only to be captured by the nets launch from the drone.

Shell: Mooooom, Nooo~ the conflict 😭 (Incoherent whining while being dragged away).

- - -

Kara: Rao~ the monsters are even making her manage the budget.

Note: Yes, In my mind Lena will be a literal Helicopter Mom. Minnie will be a blind spot for Lena, but even still she will notice the millions of dollars in phone app... Errrm resource bill which she'll rack up.
 
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The thing to remember about the difference between supervillains and criminals/terrorists with superpowers is that the former are the kind of people who think spending billions of dollars on a space laser to blast cities (without the infrastructure or manpower to defend such a boondoggle) or training butterflies (famously trainable things, insects) to hate Jews are rational actions. Supervillains are crazy.

It's why the only actual supervillains in Worm are Accord (who compulsively builds deathtraps to murder people who don't tuck their shirts into their pants or who are .01 seconds late to a meeting or etc) and String Theory (who built a gun to blow up the moon because fuck you, that's why). Every other villain is concerned about things like money or reputation.
 
...she would certainly try to be, but her near-complete misunderstanding of humaning in general would likely require the addition of an adjunct-5-year-old for truly optimum capability.
Addy, in her role as Addy, as opposed to Queen Administrator, will probably qualify soon enough...
Or they could find/build a five-year-old goose!
What if you telepathically link 5 one-year-olds into a gestalt consciousness?
 
"How stupid do you think I am?" Minnie asked, sounding simultaneously judgmental and deeply offended. "I may need to reevaluate our alliance."
This would be a moment of pure and utter joy. I can't wait for this to happen.
"Perfect, even Lena agrees that we're supervised."
"I don't know whether to run or cackle right now."
I really, truly hope that your teenage rebellious phase doesn't involve an actual armed rebellion.
Ah, how adorably naive...
"I'll rescue you soon, okay?" Kara called.

"...Is this another human euphemism for murder? 'Rescue from life's suffering?'"

Kara wanted to start crying.
At least the identity confusion works the other way too?
There were plenty of doctors in the hospital; they could afford to lose one.
...I don't think that's how it works, but I admire the attempt.
Drone (Lena): Minnie, why are the expenses so high for this month's resources!
Now you've got me wondering if and how Lena could be convinced to become an anti-villain either to train the heroes or to stamp out stupidity somehow?
 
Now I want yet another spinoff with Sanctioned-QA ending up under different circumstances in a DC world with her indeed going villain, picked up by Cadmus only for it to go horribly right, and QA then subsequently wandering out of the wreckage to toddle off to Gotham and become on of Batman's villains. The dynamic there could get delightfully awkward. From an external perspective, they could come across as straightforward archnemeses... but Batman's not about to treat a clearly disturbed little girl who doesn't get people and was "obviously" never given the chance to as an evil villain to be vanquished, no matter how outrageous her villainy gets, and QA herself regards Batman as just an enjoyable rival and almost partner in their obsessive efforts to foil one another. The question, though, is what to do with her, because she's the poster girl for Arkham Asylum, except that would mean putting her in there with all the others and subject said others to her, and she would of course inevitably get back out anyway.

Batman gets tormented by a kid too innocent to be a villain villain and QA gets to play with a non-host worthy of personhood... whom she will protect viciously as hers and disturb Batman all the more for her utterly deadpan and emotionless earnest protectiveness in his darkest hour when she isn't threatening to unmake all that he holds dear herself.

It's not impossible that we might still get something leaning towards that to some degree. This is a lot more centered on Supergirl and by extension Superman than with a Batman focus, but he could come up. The financial and business side of Minnie's endeavours to support Lena might get entertaining if Minnie does some digging into prominent players.
 
Confound it TacitSoliloquy, YOU'VE GONE AND MADE ME THINK ABOUT HOW AWESOME THAT SCENARIO WOULD BE!!! Just imagine it... *Insert dream harp sequence here.*

Arkham Asylum; Joker gets a lead on a new inmate who's less than ten years old! Surely this is prime time for him to acquire his own version of Robin! He's giddy, and is currently ignoring how all of the other inmates are absolutely terrified/staying away from that side of the place where the kid's holed up. Not since they learned what happened to Bane.

Joker does his Joker thing and peeks in, and is absolutely gobsmacked at how unimpressed Minnie is with him. While Harley gives Minnie brushies, Minnie gives an ultimatum. If the Batman dies, Joker dies. Permanently. No matter what the ancient defiled burial mound made over the hellmouth says.

Edit: If I wasn't commenting in the middle of my lunchbreak, I'd toss more ideas out.
 
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