Tome of the Orange Sky (Naruto/MGLN)

Well, if you're talking about the asteroid I think you're talking about, then it's lucky that asteroid got weaponized since if Shephard hadn't managed to use it to destroy that Relay, the Reapers would've come through much earlier, instead of needing to come the slow way from dark space.
Wrong game, wrong DLC. You're thinking the 'Arrival' DLC from ME2, but we've been talking about Asteroid X57 in the 'Bring Down the Sky' DLC from ME1. In which a group of Batarians took over an asteroid that Terra Nova had decided to use as an orbital port, and were aiming it at Terra Nova because their boss was butthurt over the Batarians getting their asses kicked during the Skyllian Blitz.
 
Hm, if we are assuming Orochi now has female dna, and there's no gene mutations somehow, then the baby would eventually be a girl. Gender typically is decided by the male side of the chromosomes since XY is a mutation of the XX, and with Tsunade and Orochi both being women, there's a higher chance of the baby having XX.
Not that gender matters in the long term in this story.
 
Chapter 103 - Desert Stage, Moving Chipmunks
Konan looked over the group of genin. "You have all proven that you have the basic skills to be genin, and now that you each have skills worthy of a chunin. Now you must prove that you can survive as chunin in the field instead of in the relative safety of a village. For likely the first time ever in a multi-village examination, your teamwork has already been tested, so from this point you stand alone. This is a full combat round, but not a team combat one. You will head into the dome and your mission is to not be eliminated by others for a week. The only safe place inside of the dome is in the central tower, and the doors will only open for you if you've defeated five others before reaching them."

Right on cue, the warnings for the dome flipping sounded. A moment later the dome flipped. She looked behind herself to see that it was the desert environment. "Apparently the randomizer decided to stick you in the desert, so I hope you have plans for water. You will have until noon to enter the dome, after which anyone still outside will be disqualified."

Two minutes later there wasn't a genin in sight. She made her way to the monitoring station, idly wondering how many of the non-Suna genin had paid any attention to where to purchase ways to carry large amounts of water. In theory the Uzushio genin should already have two weeks worth of food and water on them, but in practice they'd probably gone through half or more of that in the past week and the monitoring teams should've noticed if they'd thought to resupply themselves in preparation for not having access to shops for a week.

"Anything of immediate note?" she asked as she entered the room.

"Two of Suna's group are heading straight for the dome," came from across the room.

"There's an impromptu cross-village meeting at one of the water-filling stations," another person commented. "Started out with an Oto genin approaching an Uzushio one, but Konoha and Iwa quickly joined in and they seem to be sending runners to gather others."

"Damn," Konan said. "I appear to have lost the bet."

"Bet?" Nagato asked from where he'd been playing primary oversight.

"I thought that non-Ame Uzushio genin would start things. There were those thinking that Konoha genin would instead, but he's the only one that bet on an Oto genin. Not that I can say he cheated, because he let everyone else pick first and then rolled dice to decide which of the remaining options he'd put his money on."

"Ah. And his luck worked against the rest of you."

"Apparently."



Mei was annoyed at having put her own genin at a significant disadvantage, even if it had been unintentional on her part. Each leader that had wanted to participate in choosing the environment for the stage had rolled a set of dice representing the various stages and she'd been the only one to come up with a majority of 'desert', followed by the spinner picking her out of the eight of them. A surprisingly small number, if she was being honest, given how easy it was to make it to the island.

Doing all of that while the genin had been gathering made it less likely that anyone had been warned ahead of time. Not impossible though, because there was a slim chance that the entire dance had been a show and things had been manipulated without anyone present noticing. If anyone other than Uzushio was running this exam then she'd assume that the leaders present would've noticed, of course, but the sneakiest bastards on the continent were running things.

"So," she said as the clock ticked over past noon. "I don't think anyone has said what the expected pass rate on this stage is."

"That's going to vary heavily," Naruto admitted. She joined the others in giving him a look, and he shrugged. "It could go anywhere from eliminating everyone to everyone passing. My personal guess is around half making it through and preliminaries being needed."

"I can understand eliminating everyone due to the environment," Gaara said. "But everyone passing seems a bit difficult."

"There's a chance that everyone will fall into 'hide' and 'work together' groups, no fighting will happen, and nobody will be eliminated due to fighting. If they all come together they'd likely survive with little to no issue and nobody would be eliminated. I doubt that'll be the case due to the more violently-tempered participants, of course. Oh, and while we said that the doors won't open for them until they defeat five others, there's always the chance that they find a way into the tower anyway."

That was an incredible example of making the genin look for the real solution under the stated objectives, though with the chance of completely accidental mass passing due to never seeking anyone else out to defeat.



Yoko examined the table-sized map of the Elemental Nations that she'd created on Shrine Island, and the smaller paper map she'd connected to it. Representations of individual honden sat on the larger map where each shrine sat, with a larger representation of Shrine Island itself sitting in the ocean, but she'd also placed a couple of simple discs on the map. Placing her hand on the smaller map, she pushed light chakra into it. The purple effect flowed over the map, then coalesced into shapes representing what was sitting on the larger map.

Anyone who could generate sufficient light chakra could use the smaller map, and with any luck the daimyo would accept the claim that applying a blessing to the map showed where the gods wanted the next shrines to be.

Once she'd tested this first one at various points across the continent then she should produce a bunch more. She thought that they'd make for nice demonstration pieces for each shrine, in addition to allowing those running the shrines to provide a way for those wishing to visit a specific god's shrine to see them on a continuously-updating map. The stack of honden tokens and discs with specific gods or combinations thereof marked on them off to the side would hopefully last them a few years as well, but she should make sure she noted how the tokens were produced as those would gradually be used up.

Whether or not she'd eventually be making maps of other areas for the same thing was another question entirely. Word would likely eventually spread, so she probably would if they spread beyond the one shrine outside of the Elemental Nations. And of course, she'd not figured out how to best represent the shrines on flying islands. Or that were flying islands, really. Constantly updating the map to show where they were was probably not needed, but she wasn't sure what to tell anyone asking about that detail...beyond a comment that those islands weren't on the ground and the map was showing the ground, anyway.

...and then of course there was the potential for shrines on the moon she and Naruto were constructing, which was going to be an entirely different thing if it happened.



Mikasato carefully shaped her part of the false sand dune the group of them were constructing. This stage's rules actually gave an incentive to work together if you spotted it, and working together to survive for a week was preferable to fighting one another in the desert. It was a little weird working across four villages, admittedly. Uzushio was formally allied with Konoha and Iwa, but Oto was kind of an outlier there. Not that they'd gotten everyone from the four villages to join in on the idea, but the twenty-five of them were probably going to have a much easier time than those insisting on doing things alone.

Being able to have guard shifts alone was going to be a major benefit.

Nodding at her work, she slipped back underground through the hidden entrance they'd constructed. It wasn't all that impressive, but they didn't have anyone in the group that was good at building bunkers. At the same time, they probably didn't need anything too impressive for a week, and they had enough of the Uzumaki-grade toilets and showers among the group to not have to worry about a number of things. Food was the only potential concern as a result, and as far as they could tell they'd all ensured that they had a couple weeks of rations available.

Though they had needed to point out to Shishi that his portable shower provided drinkable water. All of those in the group without one of the things were going to be looking into buying one because of that, and if Suna's shinobi weren't buying them in bulk then they were crazy. Or overlooking the water benefits of the things? But the latest models had a 'fill water bottle' tap on the cold water side and everything.



Kankuro looked over the boxes, ensuring that the counts looked close to correct. Eight water bottles per box, and there were thirty-two boxes...which would be two hundred and fifty six bottles instead of the two hundred and fifty ordered, but the packing sheet indicated that they were throwing the six extras in for free this time due to a production mistake of some kind. The lines of metal tags holding the sealed-away portable showers were harder to quickly estimate, but counting one showed it was twenty-five tags long and there were ten lines so that should be all two hundred and fifty of those.

Ironically, on average three out of four of the 'portable' showers were almost certainly going to be permanently installed in homes throughout Suna. You could only run them for around two hours a day each, but right now bathing with water at all was still a bit of a luxury.

"Would be nice if you were willing to sell village-scale water systems," Kankuro noted. "But it looks like everything is here."

"Even Uzushio doesn't have village-scale systems," the merchant noted. "That would be a single point of failure anyway. A couple dozen smaller systems that can be turned on as needed is far more sensible."

That did make some sense, and he felt stupid for ignoring it. "I see. Do you have any pricing information for said smaller systems?"

"Not really, no. I'm not involved in making any of it and just handle selling to those visiting the island. Contact information for those involved back in Uzushio should be on the top of the sheet though."

A quick check showed that there was an Uzushio address and one of their telephone numbers listed. "I see. Thank you."

"No problem. Want any help carrying things out?"

"I conscripted our failed genin already, which is why I declined the offer to store the boxes in seals. They should be here in the next five minutes."

"Ah. Good plan there."



Orochimaru bit back several rude remarks as Tsunade tore a mechanism clear out of the wall. It wasn't a cheap one, and had been a pain to get working mostly-right, but it had also just nearly stabbed the woman in the side.

"This is unacceptable," Tsunade said after ensuring that the remains of the device were unlikely to harm anyone else. "I'm surprised that Ruri doesn't severely harm herself daily and you think you're going to be able to raise a child from infancy here?"

"It isn't that bad," Orochimaru replied.

"Ruri has gotten lots of practice putting herself back together," Guren challenged. "And learned to avoid the most dangerous stuff, of course."

"You're supposed to be on my side."

"Did you think that I might be tired of random things making me need medical attention? Your bases are death traps waiting to happen even when you aren't intentionally making them death traps."

"They are all intentionally death traps. I just don't share the information on all the systems for that with you."

Tsunade glared at her. "And none of them are suitable for you to raise any child in, even only part-time, let alone my child. I'm not even happy with the idea of you remaining in them while carrying said child."

"I'm the leader of the hidden village."

"You being the leader makes it worse. If one of your incompetent lackeys was running things then I'd expect things to be this casually deadly, but you should be far smarter than that!"

Arguing that the entire aesthetic behind the design of the bases was them being death traps didn't feel like it was going to help here, not that she'd been as into that as much since settling into this body. Even before that she'd at least tried to ensure that the death traps were where they should be and not literally everywhere. There had been...issues with some of those responsible for checking on various things in the past, but generally the areas that should be safe were kept safe.

...there just weren't many areas normally kept safe, even after removing the few things that had severely injured Ruri multiple times.

Tsunade sighed. "I'm tempted to drag you to Konoha, make you sign marriage papers, and then lock you in the Senju compound until you've given birth."

"The idiots would blow up half the bases within three months," Orochimaru retorted.

"But not with you and the child you're carrying in them. Really, with the state of things we'd be better off absorbing your shinobi into Konoha's forces and collapsing all of these 'bases' in on themselves."

"I doubt that the local daimyo would be happy with that plan."

"The local daimyo has been dead for three weeks after one of his retainers found out that their extended family was dead due to his actions. Nobody wants to step up and take responsibility for the atrocities he paid for, so the country is currently leaderless anyway. The Fire Daimyo has been in discussions with the Land of Iron and the Land of Hot Water regarding whether to install a new daimyo or just split the territory up, not that there's much left here other than Oto."

That...honestly wasn't all that surprising, though it felt quite likely that the retainer had been used as a patsy. For who was likely impossible to answer at this point, and that the news was coming to her from Tsunade of all people was telling in other ways. But nobody stepping in was easy enough to answer. "I might have threatened to kill off anyone who tried to take over the country without my personal permission, which is probably why nobody else has tried to claim the position."

"Meaning that you are, in essence, the effective leader of the country. That just makes the paperwork easier."

...the worst part of this was that it would probably be positively relaxing for the next nine months to three years of dealing with just one or two kids instead of all of the idiots in the ranks that were worse than bickering children most days.



"You want Uzushio to what?" Naruto asked, blinking. He'd expected to need to run preliminaries in a couple of days, but hadn't seen this coming.

"Take over the Land of Sound's territory," Shisui repeated. "The former Land of Rice Fields."

"Why?"

"Because there isn't a civilian population anymore after the combination of Orochimaru and the now-deceased daimyo's policies, Tsunade thinks the entire Oto base network needs to be dismantled on general safety grounds, and there are concerns about expanding borders between the existing nations bordering the area. You'd get access to the northern ocean more easily than going through Taki or the Land of Earth as a side benefit, but would probably have to dismantle or rebuild Oto's various bases."

"This stemmed from that one retainer killing the daimyo off, didn't it."

"Yes, though the decision to reach out to you about taking over only happened because Orochimaru insisted that you're the only one she'll sign things over to."

"...fun. Do I want to know why that came up?"

"She's moving into the Senju compound, as a guest or Tsunade's spouse has yet to be determined, and won't be able to keep her idiots from killing themselves. Konoha is going to absorb the shinobi in the couple of months after the exams are over, so you don't have to worry about them."

"Seriously?"

"Feel free to check with Tsunade personally. I'm just playing messenger about the territory issue, mostly to find out if the Fire Daimyo should bother arranging to visit you personally as part of things."

"At this rate we're going to be the largest country in the Elemental Nations by virtue of having territory everywhere."

"And everyone currently feels that you could take over the continent anytime you wanted, with the saving grace being that you don't want to. The latter makes you the safe option at this point, since nobody is under any illusions that you don't have the ability to attack any given country from basically all angles already anyway."

Naruto sighed. "First Amegakure, now the Land of Sound. What's going to be next?"



Ino looked over the group of genin that had been fetched from the desert. There were three obvious groups. The twenty-five that had worked together the entire week and were reasonably well-rested, the two teams of three from Suna that had decided to work together despite being told it wasn't a team stage, and the four genin that had survived the rest of the free-for-all. Zero genin had managed five defeats before an attempt at making it to the tower, though six of the twenty-five actually had enough victories to count due to bad luck when on guard duty.

"There are thirty-five of you," Naruto said after the traditional speech about what the exams meant. "Which is honestly far fewer than I expected. I'd like to get you down to thirty-two, but there aren't enough of you to justify preliminary rounds. Does anyone wish to bow out of the exams at this stage?"

Surprisingly, two genin both stepped forwards. The first was an Iwa kunoichi, who bowed to the assembled village leaders. "I discovered that I know far too little about maintaining a proper camp and had to rely too much on others for the week. I do not feel I deserve promotion at this time." Naruto nodded, though Onoki was harder to get a read off of.

The other genin was the only remaining Kiri shinobi, and one of the four genin that had participated in the free-for-all fighting. He didn't bow, though some of that might be related to not having had time to see a medic about his injuries. "I'm in no shape to fight, and honestly wouldn't have survived another day out there. If you were to hold preliminaries then I'd be out anyway."

Mei nodded before Naruto could, and Ino suspected the woman was just happy to be done with this year's exam even if her village had made a poor showing in this stage.

"Anyone else?" Naruto asked, looking over the group of genin. There was a moment of silence before he shrugged. "Worth a shot. In one month's time you will return to the island for two days of fighting. You will not be told the match-ups ahead of time, but will have access to the island's training areas if you'd like to take advantage of them. Feel free to check with the information offices if you'd like specific kinds of training areas to be available and can't find anything suitable, and of course you are free to travel back to your villages and train there instead if you'd like to."

Five minutes later the genin had departed with their sensei and most of the village leaders had left. Ino made her way over to Naruto at that point. "You eliminated all but six villages this time."

He shrugged. "Wasn't the intent. Suna's two teams were smart, but not as smart as the twenty-five from the four villages. That Kiri's only surviving genin bowed out left the two from Kumo and one from Uzushio that were running things solo."

"Is the latter getting marked down for not being a team player?"

"Nobody approached him about joining in on the larger gathering and he knows he has a temper. He mostly spent the week trying to stay hidden in his own little bunker but didn't know how to handle the sand well enough to stay hidden, so he's not getting marked down too much compared to the others."

"Didn't know that, but I wasn't on monitoring duty. The three teams I assigned to look through all the paperwork the various sensei brought with them managed to not get caught by any of them though, which I'm definitely pleased about. Even though they knew none of them would bring anything sensitive."

"Still a good training exercise in a reasonably safe environment."

"Of course."

"I see Hinata got lost in my latest blueprint dump."

"As did the rest of the technology division and two thirds of the seals division, yeah."

"Then I think we should go fetch her for dinner."



Ruri didn't know what to think about moving to Konoha. She was going to have a new mama, maybe officially? That had been a little confusing, but even if that didn't happen she had to get used to calling Orochimaru-mama Orochi-mama instead. It had been a while since she'd done that, after some of the shinobi told her that shortening the name was disrespectful, but now it was going to be mama's actual name. Supposedly because it would make Tsunade-mama happier?

Adults were confusing at the best of times, in her opinion.

The problem was that Konoha did things very differently. She wasn't going to be able to use the idiots trying to grab her in experiments, and in fact wasn't likely to be able to do most of her experiments at all. That was going to be annoying. But Tsunade-mama had pointed out that she wouldn't need to worry about healing herself from half-functional traps and devices in the walls going off and cutting into her side or face, which would be really nice. And Konoha had easier access to her friends in Uzushio, so she'd be able to see them more often, plus Tsunade-mama had promised more training in medicine.

Packing her things was easy enough, as she already kept everything ready to move anyway. She had six different bedrooms in different Oto facilities and regularly moved between them as Orochi-mama checked on the 'various idiots'. Sealing everything up and slipping the tags and scrolls into her travel bag was quick and simple, though she was going to have to wash things pretty much right away as she hadn't had time over the past couple of days.

Pulling her bag tight, she mentally drew in the thread that let her shrink before darting up the wall and through the old vent. That let her get to the entrance a lot faster than the more roundabout route you'd normally need to take, and Orochi-mama had only put some seals in that made it so that only they could pass through safely instead of closing them off when putting the new vents in. Except that the seals might be broken at this point, as they felt like they'd stopped working?

That didn't matter if they weren't coming back, though Orochi-mama was going to take a lot longer to gather everything she wanted from here.

Exiting the old vents into a closet, she allowed herself to grow back to full size so that she could open the door. Tsunade-mama was standing nearby, blinking. "That was quick."

"Orochi-mama moves between bases a lot," Ruri replied.

"All of us can basically pack and leave within a few minutes," Guren added as she came down the hall. "Though not all of us can move through the facilities quite as quickly as Ruri can."

"I was warned that she cheats and uses vents that no human should be able to fit through," Tsunade-mama said. "She'll find that harder in Konoha."

"I will?" Ruri questioned.

"Yep. Not to mention Uzushio, because between the two villages that's a fairly common trick in various forms."

"Oh."



Hinata sighed as she leaned into Naruto. "Your blueprints are insane, and the missing pieces are worse."

"What missing pieces?" he asked.

"The ones you keep out of them for security reasons? At least a third of the moon project blueprints seem to be missing."

"No, I'm reasonably certain that they're all there."

"...that implies that you've intentionally left giant holes all over the surface."

"Well, yes. I need places to put the plants."

"Hold up," Ino said as she dropped onto his other side. "You're putting in plants? On the moon?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Why not? They'll require less direct maintenance for power than the generators will."

"Oh. Energy and maintenance efficiency does sound like a good reason."

That was a very good point, but Hinata mentally reviewed the blueprints. "You're planning on most of the surface being forest?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Huh. I suppose that explains some of the water lines, though you're far too used to putting towers in the middle of forests if that's what you're doing."

"Don't see why I shouldn't."

"Can't a forest just be a forest?"

"Well, yes."

"It sounds like I'm still missing something."

He just grinned, which annoyed her. She was probably just not putting specific pieces together, and while pretending to be him worked for things like seals it didn't help with figuring out his other plans.

"So," Ino said. "How much longer before you and Yoko start final construction?"

"We're going to wait until we're done meeting with daimyo," he answered with a sigh. "Which means that it could be next week or after the finals, depending on how many additional meetings the next couple spawn."

"Ah. And when you're done then hopefully all the big projects will be done."

"Well, and dealing with Oto's bases. I thought I could let them sit for a bit, but at least two are already looking like they're ready to cause major problems for the environment around them. One due to obvious sabotage, the other due to problems in initial construction not being mitigated by giant pieces of equipment holding walls up now that they've been emptied. It'll take less time to handle things if I do so before things get worse, even if that's before officially taking ownership of the country."

Hinata groaned. "Why does nobody else build things properly?"

"In fairness, most people can't use the materials or seals that I do and the only 'building underground' books I've ever found only really describe smaller bunkers instead of full-on complexes. It's probably a miracle that Konoha hasn't collapsed into a crater multiple times with how many different people tunneled under it, but it made for a great set of lessons in what does and doesn't work at the same time."

Yeah, that was an unfortunately good point, but Shisui had teams working basically all the time at improving that mess. Naruto and Yoko helped out every so often as well.



Obito sighed as he worked his way through marking students on his latest examination. This group was...particularly simple-minded, in his opinion, though it was also almost entirely civilian-born. They'd improve quickly or drop out of the program soon enough. He did wonder when Kakashi was going to drag him on another mission, having a trusted minder being one of the only times he normally left the village for anything of importance.

"Yo," Kakashi called from the window, as though thinking about him had summoned him. "Fair warning, I've been asked to stick around in case there are problems with the Sannin."

"...they're going to all be here?" Obito questioned, wondering if he had enough bolt holes to handle that.

"Orochimaru is moving into the village, her daughter is actually already here but hasn't completed various evaluations, and Jiraiya is swinging through to talk with the other two soon. Rumor has it that something major might be decided, though nobody has figured out what that might be yet."

"I at least had the excuse of being mind controlled. Orochimaru didn't, did he?"

"It seems that she is being treated almost like his daughter, and unfortunately for the village we have a pile of records of now-deceased individuals pulling far too many strings back then. The whole situation is an annoying mess, but Tsunade has basically put her own political weight behind things so we're running with it for now. Oto's forces are condensing down to only a few of their facilities for evaluation as well...at least those that haven't abandoned the village and run for it already. Just over two thirds decided to take that route, or so I was told this morning."

Obito blinked. "Evaluation for what?"

"Being folded into Konoha after the chunin exams end."

"Why are they being folded into Konoha?"

"I honestly don't know, beyond it being connected to Orochimaru moving back here. Lots of rumors, very little in credible sources. Most common one is that Orochimaru is the father of Tsunade's kid, but the medics are adamant that Tsunade isn't pregnant so I don't know why that one has so much traction."

That sounded about right for the rumor mill, but meant that there was going to be a lot of shifting soon. At the same time, it also sounded like the position of 'least trusted person in the village, outside of those in holding cells' was going to be taken up by others in the near future, which was personally nice. "Any other warnings I should be aware of, or recently-revealed information I might've missed?"

"Don't think so. Haven't heard back on whether I can drag you to watch the chunin exam finals yet, especially as there's a chance I won't be able to go myself if things go wrong enough with the Sannin."

"Isn't Orochimaru attending due to having genin participating?"

"In theory. Doesn't help with anything going on between Jiraiya and Tsunade."

Right. Those two could be a handful all on their own.
 
She is the PARENT in all senses. Mother, father, llama, aardvark, who cares about the technical details? The kid is still going to refer to both parents as "mom" or "mommy".
 
She is the PARENT in all senses. Mother, father, llama, aardvark, who cares about the technical details? The kid is still going to refer to both parents as "mom" or "mommy".
That is going to be one weird kid. Not from the whole "Mom and Mommy" thing, but because those two parents are Orochimaru and Tsunade. With an added helping of Jariya sticking his oar in whenever he feels like it.
Probably will be a very good ninja though.
 
That is going to be one weird kid. Not from the whole "Mom and Mommy" thing, but because those two parents are Orochimaru and Tsunade. With an added helping of Jariya sticking his oar in whenever he feels like it.
Probably will be a very good ninja though.
"Tsumaru-chan, I did not see you in stealth class today!"
"Thank you, sensei!"
*confused stuttering*
With apologies to Sir Terry Pratchett, RIP.
 
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She is the PARENT in all senses. Mother, father, llama, aardvark, who cares about the technical details? The kid is still going to refer to both parents as "mom" or "mommy".
There's a Tumblr post about a kid with two mom's who made up a "Mom" who's in charge of her Mommy and Mama since they don't use the singular "Mom" but teachers / other kids say "I'm gonna tell your mom!"
 
I think, with Orochi being the surrogate mother and genetic father, and Tsunade being the genetic mother, things will already be strange, but that last bit, other than Obito still not realizing that Orochimaru is a chipmunk woman now, seems to point towards a strange relationship between Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochi. It actually feels like its going to be a Sannin reflection of Naruto, Hinata and Ino, and for some reason that feels rather fitting like its going to be some more distant shinobi version of like-grandchildren-like-grandparents or something XD

Edit: Also, we haven't had Sarutobi in the story for a while, I forgot what happened to him. What happened to him, actually? And if he's still around, I wonder if he's going to visit sometime and see what's up with the Sannin and their strange soon-to-be new normal XD

Edit2: Wait, is Hiruzen with the monkey summons right now?
 
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I think, with Orochi being the surrogate mother and genetic father, and Tsunade being the genetic mother, things will already be strange, but that last bit, other than Obito still not realizing that Orochimaru is a chipmunk woman now, seems to point towards a strange relationship between Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochi. It actually feels like its going to be a Sannin reflection of Naruto, Hinata and Ino, and for some reason that feels rather fitting like its going to be some more distant shinobi version of like-grandchildren-like-grandparents or something XD

Edit: Also, we haven't had Sarutobi in the story for a while, I forgot what happened to him. What happened to him, actually? And if he's still around, I wonder if he's going to visit sometime and see what's up with the Sannin and their strange soon-to-be new normal XD

Edit2: Wait, is Hiruzen with the monkey summons right now?

He retired, a second time. After a few missions (one of which was with Naruto), Sarutobi and his family are currently hanging out with the Monkey Summon Clan and enjoying their hotsprings.
 
He retired, a second time. After a few missions (one of which was with Naruto), Sarutobi and his family are currently hanging out with the Monkey Summon Clan and enjoying their hotsprings.
Ah I remember now, thanks for refreshing my memory. Its hard to keep straight all the dozens of fanfics I keep up with in my poor memory, but a reminder or a quick skim if I have time brings the first-time-reading memories right back into focus.
 
Chapter 104 - Finals Begin, Oto Integrations, Diplomatic Planning
Naruto filed the newly-signed paperwork for taking over the Land of Sound with the paperwork from taking over Ame, though officially things wouldn't take effect until after the finals. Orochimaru had given permission for Uzushio to start work inside of the Land of Sound anyway, and he'd sent a couple teams of clones into the area to start dismantling the worst of the now-empty bases. Another couple of teams were working on setting up the border systems, and one team was working on converting the long-abandoned port to the north into a proper Uzushio port.

At this point the moon construction was going to happen after the finals as well. Just pulling enough clones off of the project for the problematic bases, coupled with Yoko's need to deal with things on the Shrine Island side of things messing with her schedule, put things too close to the finals. Better to do things properly, wait for the finals to conclude and things to settle from that, and then start the removal and replacement process in orbit. Plus that gave extra time for diplomatic prepwork.

He also had a request from Tsunade to help look over some of the Oto shinobi though, and while it wasn't specified he assumed that was going to be some of those with seals on them. Jiraiya should've arrived in Konoha this morning, so would probably join them unless he did something stupid around Tsunade today.

An alarm going off had him flinching. Wame was decently safe when it came to experimenting with spells, but the others following her example were far more likely to overdo things. A quick check with his clones showed that the duo in question had been pulled to the hospital already. Perhaps he needed to set up more dedicated spell practice areas.



Yugao and Hayate had assumed that Tenten's new 'legendary sword' would take at least a decade of work for the girl to be competent, and even then would still be horribly impractical. The charge-up time for it was also predicted to be horribly impractical, though the feeling that it was 'chakra-hungry' had turned out to be partially because it was absorbing chakra others were giving off. Simply by leaving it unsealed it would charge itself up, and intentionally pushing chakra into it had sped that up considerably. Either the girl had more chakra than she'd calculated or the sword required less too.

But now Yugao found herself staring at a field of defeated bandits and shinobi, including a couple of jounin-level missing-nin. It was the first time they'd let the girl use the seemingly-impractical weapon in the field and she'd trivially taken out everyone including the obvious kenjutsu specialist. Some of that was obviously nobody knowing how to react to the various tricks the weapon had, but most of it seemed to be that she had an insane amount of skill with the thing already.

"Okay," Hayate said. "That's actually clever of her."

"What?" Yugao asked, turning to look at him.

"We missed that the thing is designed to be able to be directly used as several different weapons, if oddly-shaped versions, so she was able to switch between weapon forms as she moved along."

"Oh." Now that he mentioned it, thinking back on what she'd just watched made it somewhat obvious. "Huh. So she has literal years of training with existing weapons that directly translate into using that one, coupled with it essentially being a pile of weapons in one. That improves her versatility basically instantly...and makes it one of the most sensible impractical-looking designs I've probably seen."

"Perhaps we owe her an apology for assuming that she'd design something horrendous, compared to finding and learning to use someone else's horrible design."

"She was still stupid with the stunt she used to make the thing."

"...true."

"And she wants to see if she can repeat it to have a spare."

He choked at that. She wants to do what now?"

Yugao sighed. "Under better supervision, see if she can repeat the process to make a second one. I told her that she'd have to prove that she can use it effectively before considering such a request, and she's just proven that part of things, so I fully anticipate her bringing it up again soon."

"She nearly killed herself the first time!"

"And she has more chakra now and a better idea of how much is needed, but I'd still rather check with others for second opinions. Plus, a 'legendary' weapon isn't anywhere near as legendary if there are multiple running around."

That had him snorting. "Tell that to Uzushio."

"Not their fault that half of Kiri's legendary weapons seemed to be people repurposing Uzumaki-created tools."

"Point."



Yoko sighed as she read over a couple of Shion's reports. The priestess was far too willing to attribute things going on around the shrines to actual divine miracles with no attempt to figure out more mundane explanations. Or even expectation that there might be more mundane explanations, for that matter.

Having four dried-up wells suddenly producing water again in the general vicinity of Suijin shrines didn't mean that the gods had anything to do with it when the honden were feeding water into the local water table. The increase in discovering people trying to slip into the shrines for various things was likely a combination of better training on the shrine staff and the rebuilding drawing in more idiots than usual, even if the repeated 'light shone on' wording across multiple priestesses and shrine maidens was a bit weird.

Then there were the knock-off effects from the clearing out of dark chakra from the area, such as the general improvement in the temperament of the local animals. Those had been expected and explained. Shion seemed to think that the range of the effect was unusual, but didn't seem to be considering that animals moved around on their own. Improved health throughout the entire region was also expected when you were clearing out those energies and providing better access to clean water, on top of the number of people visiting the installed hot springs at several of the shrines and the benefits from that.

...the report of a fire burning down three buildings was a bit more coincidence-filled though. A merchant who had just run out on their bill had, in their rush to escape, caught their cart on fire from one of the torches outside. Their panic over that had caused them to not turn in time to avoid a building, the fire from the cart spreading to the building. The flames had weakened walls that would-be slaves were chained to, allowing them to pull free and escape, but those who had been running that operation had been trapped upstairs and died in the fire.

The smaller of the two neighboring buildings had also caught fire, across an alley but without the fire spreading to buildings directly touching the two. Some checking of Uzushio's network indicated that the second building had been used as a place to store drugs being smuggled through the area...by the same people running the slave operation.

It was possible that this was covert action by shinobi, though nothing in Uzushio's network indicated involvement and Konoha didn't have anyone at all in the general area right now. They were simply the most likely to manage something like that though, so it was possible that another village or a missing-nin passing through had been responsible. Unfortunately, the shrines were the only source of intelligence at the time of the incident, so unless reports popped up in other villages they were unlikely to find out more.



"It definitely isn't worth the risk," Naruto said as he put the sheet of paper down.

"Told you that it was a bad idea," Yugao said, glaring at Tenten.

"But there's a chance that something will happen to the first one," Tenten said, half-glaring at him.

"And the chakra requirements for all of your weapon-making clones fluctuate wildly. Observing you creating simpler weapons has revealed a range that had a minimum of a little more than half of the maximum required for the same result. While it's possible that you were on the high end the first time, there's a very good chance you got lucky and next time the chakra needed will be enough to instantly kill you."

She flinched at that, then frowned. "How long have you known I could do this?"

"Since the first time you used it to make some extra money by producing a pile of kunai and selling them because monitoring clones spotted you. I find that making raw materials is more useful overall, personally. The chakra cost of making finished products is higher than the cost of making raw materials and having clones work with them in most cases, at least for me."

"Oh. But...it's likely that I'll never reach a point where I have enough chakra to be safe if I have to assume I could need more than twice what I needed the first time, and I don't know how to make it otherwise!"

Naruto rolled his eyes as a clone appeared in the room and unsealed an entire rack of copies of her weapon, though with different coloring on the grip points. "I experimented after Yugao asked me my opinion on the chakra requirements and haven't gotten around to disposing of the results yet. Do you want to stick to your original 'channels generic chakra' version or have the spare be able to channel a specific element? I found that there were benefits and drawbacks in both directions, and the white grips are my attempts at putting specific elemental flows into individual areas..."

He trailed off as Tenten recovered from her shock and went into 'shiny weapons' mode, then looked over at Yugao. She shook her head. "You should've known she was going to do this."

"I prepared a 'so you want one of each' invoice already."

"Smart."

"She'll then get pouty about that, try to guilt me into letting her take more than just one, and eventually pay for an extra one beyond the free one I'm offering. One exact copy and one of the varying elemental flows ones to see how that works out, specifically, with a demand that I destroy the rest if she can't have them because she didn't give me permission to make them for others."

"That's awfully specific."

"You've already pointed out to her that too many copies of a legendary blade make it a curiosity at best, which has happened with Uzushio-produced items already. Limiting things to three for now, in two variants with her holding onto all of them, should be safe enough. Besides, she hasn't even decided on a name for it."

"Because she's waiting to see what others describe it as, I think in part because she isn't sure what she wants to call it."

Half an hour later his predictions had come to pass. He even destroyed the extras in front of her, to her combined horror and satisfaction.



Gaara sighed as Naruto welcomed everyone to the finals, including pointing out that they were down a couple of genin from the expected number. Two of Suna's genin had wandered into the desert a couple weeks ago and only one of them had returned in time for the finals. The other could very well be dead, but if not they were definitely not getting promoted. In fact, the one that had returned was unlikely to be promoted either as they'd not informed anyone of their plans.

At least Suna wasn't the only village with a missing genin though. Oto had lost one as well, though Orochimaru hadn't shared what had happened to them. Not that the details of Suna's missing genin had been shared either, just reported as a basic item to explain the change in plans from 'one extra match to start with' to 'one genin gets a free pass in the first round of matches'.

"Of course," Naruto explained. "This left us with a need to determine how to decide who got the free pass today. A check with the genin had only five of them indicate that they'd happily accept a free pass instead of being annoyed at losing a chance to show their skills. Those five are standing off to the side here, and we have a spinning numbered target split into five sections. Each of the five will take a number from a bag, though will not reveal it, and then the other twenty-six genin will each throw one kunai into the spinning target. If a single genin has the fewest kunai in their section then they will get the free pass, then we'll go with the single genin with the most, followed by the sole genin in the middle. Should they be split into two groups, we'll eliminate the matched pair and repeat with the other three genin."

As it turned out, they did have to go with the second pass, and then balls holding the names of all the genin were dumped into a rotating drum. That was left to spin for a couple of minutes before being poured into the top of a plinko-style board, the balls bouncing around and filling slots in the bottom before being released into a tray underneath the board. They were then pulled off the tray two at a time to determine the fifteen matches for the day.

"Interesting method of choosing the matches," Orochimaru commented.

"We didn't have enough information from the previous stages to set up things in a less-randomized manner," Naruto replied. "Besides, there's a large audience, so visually interesting methods of choosing are almost mandated when you haven't provided a fight list ahead of time for betting reasons."

Gaara knew he wasn't the best at considering ways to entertain the civilians, but could see how that made sense. He was taking some mental notes about things, but if Suna managed to get a rental on the island in the next exam slot or two then others were still going to be doing the bulk of the planning. It was looking like they weren't likely to get a slot for at least a year though, if not two or three, as Kumo and a couple of smaller villages seemed likely to be ahead of them in the queue.



Odoroki found her inability to understand ninety-plus percent of what Naruto and Yoko were doing with construction projects to be both infuriating and pleasing. The latter in a 'grown beyond them' manner, the former in a 'the laws of physics should not work that way, even with chakra' one...

After getting multiple headaches with that, she'd given up and sought out the various people working on experimenting with spells. Naruto and Yoko didn't seem to care too much about experimenting when someone else wasn't directly prompting them...at least beyond 'take existing spells and supersize their output'. Actually trying to figure out how to make new spells was something else entirely, and being connected to the Tome made that seem easier than it should be to play with.

Possibly entirely due to the simulation interface being designed for it, admittedly. They had trouble with 'creativity', which felt likely to be intentional as well, but so long as an idea came from elsewhere they were actually quite good at figuring it all out over time.

She was under no illusions that this plan was entirely her own idea though, nor did she think that she'd been manipulated into it by Naruto. No, she was reasonably certain that it stemmed from realizing that he spent time wearing the Tome each time there was some new spell to learn, if only to be able to access the simulation interface himself. Something deep in the Tome had very likely picked up on that and was pushing for them to do things that would cause him to carry it around.

Unfortunately, Wame was the only one of the group experimenting with spells that had any sense of self-preservation and doing things safely. She was still having trouble with buffering the raw information output of scanning spells, but didn't push herself to the point of causing injury and had worked with bullets in as safe a manner as possible without being able to make a pile of paperwork clones or use a simulation system. There had been fourteen major injuries in the rest of the group so far, and five people had been told they weren't allowed to experiment with spells at all anymore.

Just following Naruto's basic safety rules of ensuring you had Knight Armor up while experimenting with anything possibly dangerous would remove ninety percent of the injuries...though there was the unfortunate exception of those working out if there were ways to make that particular spell better. It was very hard to have Knight Armor in place while testing an alternate version. Everyone else had basically no excuse though, especially with the spell tablets making learning the spell directly optional.

A small explosion and scream of pain from the next field over had her flinching, though she didn't feel the tell-tale pulse of a clone pulling the idiot out for emergency medical attention. That didn't mean that she didn't immediately start heading that way though, likely to drag them to the hospital the slow way if they weren't in critical condition.



Onoki was happy enough with the first day's matches. His genin hadn't done horribly, the bulk of them making a good showing even if they'd lost, and he had to admit that having the smarter candidates make it through to this point with minimal trouble due to working together with other villages was nice. The larger arena also allowed for more impressive displays in some instances thanks to not having to worry as much about being stuck in too-close quarters.

Still, now that the day of fighting was over he was feeling a bit cheeky. He'd had a couple of insane rumors passed along, so as they were leaving the 'Kage Box' he looked over at Naruto. "So, have you heard the rumor that Uzushio has a replacement moon in the works?"

Naruto just looked back. "Who said it was a rumor?"

That obviously took A and Gaara by surprise...but not Shisui or Orochimaru. Onoki blinked a couple of times. "How can you possibly build a replacement moon?"

"With a lot of prep time. Or a rabbit goddess to seal inside of it, I suppose, but we're fresh out of those. I'll put out construction warning notices before we start the actual construction, though it'll be far enough away from the planet to not likely be an actual hazard unless we drop something big and somehow don't notice for a week or two."

"And I thought that was the more outlandish rumor."

"What else have you heard?" Orochimaru asked.

Onoki flinched as he considered things, but decided to run with it anyway. "That you're the father of Tsunade's child."

The woman gave a half-smile and patted her stomach. "Only from a genetic standpoint." She obviously noticed that she was getting more stares now. "It was a result of drinking a bit more than we should've."

"I was under the impression that you're both female," Gaara noted.

"And we will be having a daughter as a result. Ruri is looking forward to being a big sister."

A shook his head after a moment. "I suppose when you drink too much with one of the world's best medics that normal medical realities don't apply."



Jiraiya knew that this was a waste of time, but once Tsunade had learned of problems that he'd not told her about decades ago she'd decided to turn it into a teaching event for Ruri. Presumably because doing so was intended to make him feel uncomfortable, given her age, even though she could do the examination of his reproductive system without him undressing. Or perhaps it was supposed to be due to her inexperience, or that she'd been learning from Orochi?

Whatever the case, it was at least less annoying than stripping horrible seals off of Oto shinobi and kunoichi. The finals had put a pause on that, and Orochi's personal guards were going to be another matter entirely due to how often they used their seals. A quick, if useless, checkup was at least reasonably relaxing.

"Can you spot the issue?" Tsunade asked Ruri as the girl focused on the mystic palm.

"Yes," Ruri answered, pouting. "But I can't fix it."

"...it isn't a difficult procedure."

The girl turned to look at Tsunade, appearing to be confused. "But it's in his chakra?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Like my chipmunk features. When I push against the problem his chakra pushes back just like trying to change my ears is pushed back."

Tsunade took over and examined him, which was enough to actually make him uncomfortable given some of her long-standing threats, and her expression gradually darkened. "How in the world did you manage that? Or is this something someone else did to you?"

He shrugged. "Side effect of a mistake very early in my sage training. Specifically, me trying to do things that the toads said I wasn't ready for, and it turned out they were right. They saved my life, but not before some things had settled a bit too deeply. I suspect it's part of why I can't get my sage mode down perfectly, the remnants of that mistake preventing me from achieving full control."

"You started sage training back before the war."

"Yep."

"I'd wondered how in the world you didn't have children across the continent, but hadn't expected that it was because you couldn't have them. Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Didn't want you to spend a pile of time trying to figure out how to fix something I was reasonably certain couldn't be fixed."

"Naruto and Yoko have a chance of being able to fix it, though you might have to relearn everything to do with your chakra if they try."

"Not worth the effort, especially when the only one I'd want to have a kid with would be unlikely to ever want to."

She gave him a look telling him that she knew exactly what he was referring to. Of course, she'd never been stupid either.



Yoko bit back a sigh as she waited for the soldiers of the other faction contesting this part of the continent to finish looking over the signs posted with information. This group was definitely looking for a fight, which was going to be annoying to deal with. Not that they'd brought anything particularly dangerous with them, at least by shinobi or samurai standards. Well, Land of Iron samurai standards, anyway. Those normally employed directly by daimyo were good for those who didn't use chakra but really weren't up to the standards needed otherwise.

Still, she wanted to put on a proper show, so she reached out to the forest seals with light chakra and the trees with wood release. The former reinforced the entire system trusting her and the latter allowed her to more directly control things. Mostly to hold back the potentially deadly reactions to violence, admittedly, but being able to directly interact with the plants in general would send a message of its own.

When the group ensured that their weapons were ready and stormed through the gate she frowned, but didn't move from where she was watching. The outer forest ring was the least-mobile, making it better to wait until they were deeper anyway. Automated puppets were starting to converge on the area though, seeing this as an assault. They were programmed to handle that differently than those in non-shrine locations though, with a higher threshold required before they went to violent repelling options.

Puppets and the group arrived at the next gate at the same time. The former moved to intercept, but the latter had spotted her higher up the stairs. Evaluating the shrine maiden puppets compared to her, they decided that she was the priority target. Barked orders had three of the soldiers firing arrows at her. All three arrows were snatched out of the air by trees before they could reach her, stunning the group, but an attack on her was enough to put the defending puppets into attack mode. Their programming prioritized disarming over other actions when chakra-based abilities weren't in play though, and the fact that the group was stunned allowed the puppets to strip them of all of their weapons and armor reasonably quickly. Each of the men was then held down in a sitting or kneeling position by a couple of puppets.

"This is a place of worship," she said as she started to walk down the steps, accepting the three arrows from the trees as she did so. "Not one of violence."

"What are you?" the leader of the group, Ehmed, asked.

"I am the highest religious authority tied to this place. The others that found this place were...far more respectful. Those soldiers realized that this was not a place to attack and sent researchers to find out more instead. You have ignored all the signs prepared, the guidance offered, and decided to attack first. I find that to be unacceptable."

Chakra threads lifted the weapons and armor into the air, and she activated her rinnegan. A moment later a small black sphere was thrown into the middle of the collection, only for the entire thing to compress down into a sphere. Significant force was exerted to ensure that everything had bonded together before she released the effect and lowered the ball to the path.

"You can take your trash with you when you leave," she said, gesturing to the ball. A pulse of chakra released a book from a seal, and she used chakra threads to float that over to sit next to the ball of metal. "And this is a guide you can take with you, so that if you return you will hopefully be less disrespectful."

The group of men gulped, and she told the puppets to release them. They took a moment to look at her fearfully, then one of the men collected the book while two others determined that it was going to be difficult to carry the ball of metal. Eventually they figured out that they could carefully roll it down the steps, not that the seal-reinforced steps would even notice if they let it barrel down uncontrolled, and the entire group quickly retreated.

With any luck the other country would push a little harder and cut that one off from access for the time being. They were far too willing to kill everything that moved if they could get away with it due to their particular national image.



A noted that the seats once again didn't have village symbols on them as he sat down for the second day's matches. He only had one genin left in things, which wasn't that big of a surprise after the 'four villages work together' group had dominated the second stage. Though if you told him that suddenly it was a Kumo-only final day he wouldn't be that surprised compared to the revelations of the previous evening.

...and it said something that Uzushio preparing to build a moon was the more believable of the two. Though that was in part due to the chain of revelations the other had led to. First being told that Tsunade was having a kid with her former teammate, who had already been a bit of a head-scratcher due to somehow getting himself trapped in a female body, was just insane. That Tsunade was the mother, but not carrying the child, was another matter entirely. This leading, practically at the legendary's medic's insistence, to Otogakure's disbanding was another one...though it was very hard to disagree with the statement that you went against Tsunade when she had medical justifications and a personal stake in things at your own peril.

Then they'd found out about the idiocy of the land's now-deceased daimyo, essentially reverting control over the entire country to Orochimaru. But she didn't want to deal with the political games and the neighboring countries had agreed that they'd rather have Uzushio take over instead of trying to split it up between each other. Some of that was obviously the Land of Iron and the Land of Hot Water not wanting a direct land border, but the whole thing was a bit weird. Not entirely his concern either, as the four countries involved had come to agreements already, but it was a wacky series of events.

It had been one hell of a meal and discussion going through all of it, and only that the pregnancy was only discovered after the exams started made it feel justified to keep Oto separate from Konoha in the genin ranks. In fact, to hear Orochimaru tell it, she'd only taken advantage of the availability of Uzushio medics because of the exams and probably wouldn't have figured out she was pregnant for a few more months otherwise.



Hinata looked over the updates Naruto had made to the 'construction project' notice plans this morning, now that more countries were aware of the moon construction plans. Changing the language on the Elemental Nations side of things made sense there, but he'd added additional translations that had required digging into translation books due to her not knowing them yet.

Those turned out to be for other continents. Because of course he was learning languages from the places he was putting in bunker networks. She felt kind of stupid for not thinking to send clones of her own to learn some of the languages, but half-expected Ino to have already done so as part of preparing for infiltration work elsewhere.

All of the messages included copies of the findings for why a moon was important, a brief summary of the known history of the currently-destroyed moon, and basic details as to the ability of the new moon to keep itself in orbit instead of moving towards or away from the planet over time. Those intended for areas unfamiliar with the Elemental Nations in general and Uzushio in particular got a brief recent history lesson as well, plus a general description of both chakra and shinobi.

She wasn't sure if anyone outside of the Elemental Nations would believe the notices if he delivered them, at least until they saw things for themselves, but construction was going to take at least a week and then the moon itself would just be there. Even if a given country had horrible weather for the entire construction period they'd still see the end results eventually.

The first thing to actually annoy her were the notes on 'how to connect to local video systems' for each country that had them, or more specifically that they weren't in the general technology division files. He seemed to be considering a live broadcast of the construction process without consulting any of them, or her in particular. Converting between systems wasn't a trivial matter, which is why they'd basically replaced everything in the Elemental Nations with their versions to standardize properly.

Then she hit the equipment numbers to replace things across other continents instead of interfacing with existing systems, which had her twitching. The numbers were...oddly reasonable, all things considered, and standardizing across the entire planet would simplify a broadcast, but at that point he might as well give them all telephones so they could call and ask questions.

...and of course, the information on the 'country to country interchange system' to do just that came next, because he'd obviously pretended to be her and others to preempt all their arguments. Even the ones that would be sarcastic instead of serious.
 
Ugh, now we are standardizing the whole planet

Standards enforced by shinobi.

Your wall sockets and old wiring are taken out and replaced while you sleep.

Aggressively de-leading your plumbing.

Insulation changed out for better fire resistance and less cancer.

Edit: "Also, your old locks have been replaced because they were kinda shit." -Ninja Home Compliance Squad 4
 
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Ugh, now we are standardizing the whole planet
Standards enforced by shinobi.

Your wall sockets and old wiring are taken out and replaced while you sleep.

Aggressively de-leading your plumbing.

Insulation changed out for better fire resistance and less cancer.

Edit: "Also, your old locks have been replaced because they were kinda shit." -Ninja Home Compliance Squad 4
"Wait, they had locks?" -post script found on the bottom of the notice
I like this idea, this should legitimately be a thing in Uzushio. 😆
 
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