though if they normally brought injured anyone through this route
"anyone injured"?
"The new Hokage heard that we were unable to find things in our own village, and this claims that their spies found our maps to be 'lacking'. So as a 'sign of good faith' between the villages he had a copy made of their maps of Kumo for us so that we might have a better clue as to where we're keeping things."
There are
levels of cheekiness to this one.
But that was also the only alternate-personality clone he ensured was created daily, so perhaps it was just a side effect?
His kitsune powers are awakening. What are these called again, tail clones?
---
I'm confused, though. It's later mentioned that humans can only have a maximum of two bodies this way. Why is there a limit at all that's greater than
one? I mean, there are clones and plenty of puppets and whatever Pein did, but somehow eating part of a god only also works twice, but not more? Or that it's not some side effect of the Kyuubi in particular instead of the whatever it was that
did happen?
"Perhaps we should just be glad that we're forging formal alliances," Yugito offered. "If they're this good at infiltrating us then we certainly don't want to be their enemy if another war breaks out."
That is admittedly a good point.
There have been a dozen accidents with that stupid formula as spies try to steal it and I helped hunt down one that got out of the village only for the container to explode.
I wonder if it's
actually cursed somehow? I mean, Orochimaru made the stuff originally...
"...who the hell reads that on what sounds like a simple mission?"
"Anyone who wants to be sure that it is a simple mission," Kiba retorted.
One of those moments of insight that unfortunately never occurs to one in time.
"You made a mobile house," Kiba said as he stared at Naruto's creation
Didn't he make a portable one earlier? Or at least a bathhouse or something. This is a fairly reasonable extension of that goal...
Over the past couple of days things had gotten a little weirder though. She'd actually gotten hungry, and not in an 'echo from Naruto' sense.
Well, that explains how she's sticking around. The chakra is getting replaced with matter overtime.
Although
why is another question.
Creating a bit of a ghost ship rumor was something that they'd expected to possibly be doing though, since nobody had seen any ship drop them off either.
That's a bonus feature.
"Why does the Daimyo's message include a request for pricing on a mobile house?" Shisui asked as he read the missive.
The madness begins to spread.
Perhaps the confidence that the tailed beasts couldn't be killed for real wasn't as misplaced as originally believed?
Or perhaps this was a very elaborate ruse to send anyone looking to reclaim the tailed beasts on a fool's errand.
Yes.
None of their own list of mistakes they knew they'd made had appeared in what they had access to, so it was likely that they'd gotten incredibly lucky. Or perhaps they were too critical of themselves. On the other hand, the analysts had spent an entire scroll praising the sheer balls of going for something that outlandish and then making it work.
I think they need to quit being harsh on themselves. No one else operates at the skill level needed to notice.
"...only the top three?" Sasuke said. "We invented an entire foreign land as backstory and even convinced our allies that it was legitimate!"
"A team of infiltration shinobi accidentally created two different hidden villages just before the second war," Hinata said. "The records we were able to find don't say which two, but they apparently survived the third war. We only created rumors of a fictional land, those teams created actual hidden villages that continue to be information sources for us to this day."
How the actual...? Seriously,
HOW?!
"Danzo Shimura's corpse includes a couple of obvious changes that aren't in his medical records."
Huh. That one sentence solves a lot of issues all at once.
And that was before the included series of traps was turned on, such as the bridge that could turn into a catapult when you walked across it and the weight shifted from one side to the other. Getting that to work in both directions and self-reset after ten minutes had been tricky...
I can see why that would be tricky, yes. Ordinarily, I'd have called it impossible, perhaps even with magic or ninja magic involved...
Then there were other things, like the trouble they'd had getting the element-sensing working and not noticeable by other sensors...until Yoko had decided that trying to do one element at a time was a waste of time and had a clone figure out using all five at once. That just 'snapped' into place somehow, seemingly connected to the extra sensory module they'd gotten off of Karin, and then the harder part was turning the whole thing off
Did they accidentally Ninshu?
Most of the hidden functions of the puppet were also geared towards cleaning and maintenance, though that didn't mean that they couldn't be used in combat.
As seen in their exams, yes.
"And why are you a decent fit?" Yoko asked the small fox.
In response, Suzu opened her mouth, and then the world stopped making sense for a moment.
BOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG
...True, that's how I'd also describe it.
Replacing any wooden pieces with wood release duplicates allowed those items, or components of a larger item, to also conduct chakra. All combined, it turned what would normally be 'combat-grade' items into very expensive specialty items...but even Naruto balked at the chakra cost of doing that kind of thing to even a single person's normal kunai loadout.
So, they can make their own chakra metal, chakra-conductive
wood too, but it costs something like two kages' worth of Chakra... Only Naruto would be able to even make
one, much less ever make more.
It was quite boring, but in a few days to a week when a first attempt was made it might get more interesting and they might get a chance to see how the boy handled combat when he needed to fight his way out.
...And he's gone already.
"If he could set this up that quickly then he could've rigged the place to blow overnight."
"That has occurred to some of us, yes, but he has even faster ways of accomplishing that level of destruction."
Wrong way to comfort someone, I think...
"Yeah, they really stepped up the security on those. I had some trouble getting into the real record rooms and I already knew to avoid the decoys."
"...I failed to get into the decoys?"
I can feel the aura of depression from here!
"She waltzed in here without anyone noticing, swapped out the scroll for a scathing report on our lack of security, and then left the original in the Hokage's desk."
"So it would seem, yes."
"...and Uzumaki is worse?"
Oh no. This is going to be painful yet funny...
"I started with the other facility. He not only left a report on the lack of security in the same manner that was done here, but installed fifty-six security seals throughout the facility to cover the worst offenses until experts could be brought in to do a proper sweep of the issues. Oh, and he replaced the easily-poisoned water feed with a water-summoning seal array, fixed six bunk beds in the barracks, and apparently gave an off-duty guard a medical check-up to clear out the flu she was suffering from."
This entire tale gets increasingly insane, but it ends with stealthily curing one of them of the flu with a relatively rare technique (which is also never used on something this insignificant), all still without
ever being noticed at all.
Naruto started as a prankster capable of infiltrating probably at least 90% of the village before he was fully bound to the Kyuubi. Then you factor in the Shadow Clone training method and the sheer number of clones he uses daily and it's really no wonder that he's so good at infiltration along with practically anything else he touches.
I really wish more stories remembered this and actually used that feature.
while Kumo tried to pretend that they knew about and were responsible for the honestly not too bad fireworks display.
I'm sure everyone else is subtly taking notes of that failure to pretend, too.
"I think you've won by intimidation," Yugito said, looking between Naruto's puppets and Kankuro. "Both because I'm a little in awe of the display and because he's probably happy that he's wearing brown pants already."
Ha!
They'd lose points for visiting too many rooms not in their team's clue chain, but that didn't seem to be a problem yet.
"Hoshi seems to have hidden two-thirds of these clues," Ino pointed out.
Imagine how the proctors have to feel. There are people in the wrong rooms or places finding clues that weren't left there, all because Hoshi hid them. Unless they're all hidden in their original locations, but I'm not sure how one would do that without people still knowing where they're supposed to be or actually swapping out all the clues.
"...point to you. She hasn't explained to anyone how that trick works."
"I'm still not sure how she managed it either, but I figured out a counter anyway."
That's just hax.
Amusingly, chakra-conducting kitchen knives seemed to be an excellent tool to keep them angry, and Naruto wasn't sure if his was intentionally created for that purpose or merely a side effect of some retired shinobi in Uzushiogakure wanting all of their knives to be combat-ready.
I can easily see it being both. You know how there are different knives for different purposes?
"Steak knife, bread knife, cheese knife, chef's knife, home invader knife..."
That brought her up short. "...there was an entire clan of people like him."
"Yep."
"They had to be the single most infuriating opponents on the planet."
This explains a few things, doesn't it.
My guess is closer to self-taught, or perhaps originally figured out against worthless bandits and in dire need of refinement.
Even the people analyzing the skill are
still underestimating it!
Although you'd ordinarily think the latter reaction would need reconsidering since it's clearly working very well.
Well, either that or a more obvious show of having proper skills, but that was quitter talk when you'd already committed to a bit.
The people who can do that successfully are scary. Not only are they good enough to win, they can do so with that large of a handicap to do something
amusing with it.
A potential international incident regarding destroying a legendary sword in a demonstration match was resolved through Naruto demonstrating that the sword could be repaired with enough chakra. That nobody noticed one of his clones sealing away the cut-off part of the sword so that it could be examined to maybe figure out secrets later was another thing entirely
Of course. I'm surprised his summon isn't a magpie...
"A supposedly-novice puppeteer was controlling seven puppets without any obvious effort, two of them flying, and either found or made a puppet of the one-tail. That he happens to be bound to the remains of."
"...I'm doing my best to suppress the horror of that puppet."
Yeah, there's a certain swagger to the existence of particular puppet. Made more ironic by a well-known feature of the tanuki.
...more amusing was that the Team Yurei food cart was doing better business than the Kumo cafeteria in the bunker
They're good cooks as well as skilled ninja, apparently.
It also seemed that nobody was checking for binary knockout drugs, because everything being served to non-Konoha shinobi was laced with a component of one and none of the genin had avoided the cart once it was available.
But don't discount the "ninja" part, got it.
Karin shrugged. "I warned him that I was going to get the stick out of his ass."
"I don't think he expected you to make a literal attempt."
"Sucks to be him."
LOL!
I'm surprised it took this long for that technique to appear, actually. It does have a certain crassness to it, but
damn is it effective...
It was one thing to claim that security measures couldn't stop you, something that many shinobi and non-shinobi claimed over the years. Naruto didn't do that. He just pretended that the measures didn't exist and lightly chided you for thinking they'd stop him afterwards.
Well, he's just proving it, rather than making unsubstantiated claims...
At least they can take notes on what to fix afterward. If he didn't do it already. Not that it still keeps him out either...
Hiruzen's only hope for the jounin archives had been that some disaster would obliterate them and they'd have to start over fresh, not allowing them to get anywhere near as bad as they currently were in the process. But Naruto's killing intent took the form of paperwork...
I think I can guess a future event.
"You look annoyed," Hinata commented.
"I think someone who should know better is doubting my skills," Naruto replied. "...or perhaps threatening to burn down the jounin or Anbu archives back in Konoha before I get a chance to sort them and look for things that people might've buried in them."
Huh, so he has a reason for it beyond mere trolling. It's slightly scary that he knows when people are doubting his skills, too. It means they're about to get more "proof"...
"Though I had to stop adding to my kunai, shuriken, and senbon seals after the Anbu commander checked purchase records and realized that I probably have more than the village stockpiles do."
...Fair.
"Having enough to outfit clones with real equipment can be useful if you don't want things vanishing when the clones dispel. That's particularly important if you're leaving things as signs or intend for a kunai to hold something open or closed, and I can create a lot of clones."
For some reason the three jounin all shuddered at that thought, but he wasn't really sure why.
He's being unintentionally terrifying again.
the only reason Anko hadn't burned the place down was because she feared that the mess was keeping some eldritch horror trapped and burning it all would release it.
I wonder if that will actually happen?
"I wonder if fixing too many things at once causes the universe to break something else to compensate," Naruto mused.
"...please don't come up with reasons that the moon breaking is our fault," Hinata pleaded.
Well, at least he hasn't come up with the
correct reason that it's their fault yet.
"But...did the sense of doom from the absolute horrible state of things just not affect you? I had a single clone slip into the jounin archives once and couldn't believe the visceral reaction it had to the mess."
"You mean the doom-generating seals in the ceilings?
Seriously?!
"If Hashirama and I could both be labeled the God of Shinobi then Naruto can definitely be labeled the God of Paperwork," Hiruzen decided. Sure, making those titles official required jounin-corps buy-in, but after finding out about this there wasn't likely to be a single detractor in the village.
...outside of Naruto himself. But he wasn't a jounin yet and thus didn't currently have a vote.
This is hilarious. I think they might actually get one over him with this one.
"Can't really make them fly," Naruto mumbled as he looked over his plans
Most people would be more than happy by now.
a durable rubber-like material with lava release
Literally vulcanized rubber?
More surprising to A was what looked like lava release style rubber in use on the thing. Kumo was the only village known to have that available, and only in a small clan that hadn't had a defection since the village was founded. How had Konoha gotten access to the material?
Oops. More unintentional intimidation. The fact that it's accidental sells it better, actually, too...
"I read the rules two days ago and played against my own clone for a day with another couple of clones watching for mistakes," Karin retorted. "Ninety percent of my moves were random flailing with barely any understanding of larger tactics."
"...so either you're a savant or just incredibly lucky?"
"Being of Uzumaki descent, I'd guess the latter."
Right, they have bullshit luck powers too.
Conversely, if you wanted your Rasengan to be able to do anything against something that wasn't alive you had to avoid using medical chakra as the base entirely as it caused any Rasengan to just pass through nonliving items.
Notably, clothing and armor were nonliving, so if you weren't trying to bash down a door or wall using a medical chakra base was incredibly effective.
Holy shit. That's a special kind of scary. I think that beats a Harry Potter AK for a ranged method of offing somebody, since it's noted as also passing through solid objects.
Unfortunately for someone struck that way and unaware of the problem, your gut flora counted as 'foreign'.
Doesn't the effect of losing those go up to potentially lethal? At best they were probably violently ill...
This was followed by both demanding that Tsunade had to be shown at least the 'instantly healthy' Rasengan, if only to see how much she ranted about it afterwards.
Reminds me a bit of some of MP3.1415's Ianthe snippets. The ones with the healing bullets.
Yoko could create a bunch of her own clones, openly showing that she could for the first time...or she could let out some frustration and see if something that the training clones had practiced worked and potentially deal with everything at once.
Uh oh. I think I know what it is.
But nobody made it to her before she was in the air and coming down towards the roof of the hospital, the giant Rasengan beneath her.
Yup. And even more absurdly used than I was expecting.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO?" Tsunade screamed as she jumped up to the roof, having come out of a window a couple floors down.
"Massive Healing Rasengan," Yoko answered.
I think she knows that part, but the rest of this is probably confusing her...
On the other hand, word was quickly spreading that she'd just healed the entire hospital at once, which was either a sign that she was a deity herself or had the personal blessing of the gods.
...she'd wanted to be done with things quickly, not give people a reason to worship her!
Kitsune~!
Yoko is a medic-nin without training records. That she refuses to heal anyone with any method other than 'healing Rasengan to the chest' has turned it into a healing blessing instead of healing skill.
This makes it even funnier.
Those two are part summon fox, likely from interactions with Hoshi. Their ears, tails, and fur are noticeably different from the others who got fox features in the village. Coupled with being known to be of Uzumaki descent and tending the Uzumaki shrine together? The civilians have already decided that the two actually got their fox features from a blessing instead of the beast-man formula.
Are we sure that it
isn't actually because they're part-kitsune at this point?
"That all three happily accept offerings of fried rice, combined with that or offerings of ramen being the best way to keep Yoko from being subtly snippy with the attention of being 'worshiped', isn't exactly providing any reason for people to think otherwise."
Definitely not helping, there.
Hiruzen frowned. "...which could be seen as the target not being worthy of healing according to Inari."
This is even funnier.
Earth chakra in the dry ingredients, water chakra in the wet ones, some wood release when adding the yeast, a hint of fire chakra when forming them into shape that I hope helped them cook more evenly, and a little earth chakra to thicken the glaze up more than it would've otherwise.
Did he just make Five Elements... food?
"I think the most ridiculous thing I've seen in movies was exploding food without explosive tags," Kakashi offered.
"...I'd probably have considered that ridiculous a week ago, yeah."
Hinata groaned. "You used explosion release chakra when cooking?"
I love that they have such an absurd technique, and even more that he's found a way to make it actually happen.
Naruto frowned. "What do movie shinobi do that real shinobi don't?"
...If there's anything that normal ones can't, they need to take notes, because the movie people are using mechanics and mirrors. One would think that chakra would have a good chance of replicating it.
Kakashi had actually looked offended that they'd made all the 'movie shinobi' tricks work in real life, presumably because the stunts pulled in the films should be disinformation on what to expect from shinobi. Hinata's response had basically been that everyone likely knew that, so pulling it off for real was the actual surprise.
We're getting into Looney Tunes "Wabbit Season" logic here, but damn if it probably won't work...
Landing back near Koyuki a moment later, Yoko dismissed the wings and bowed to the princess. "Your uncle was unworthy, and is no longer a threat to you."
She might need a moment to reboot now.
Koyuki had looked at Kakashi and asked if he knew about the inside of the fortress being 'a bit too gutted', and he'd merely replied that the team had wanted to ensure that they found anything and everything of importance in the building.
I can only imagine him trying to keep a straight face at this, while he's probably internally
also goggling at the fact that the interior of the building is just a crater.
Koyuki and Sandayu turned to look at the stack of crates, both of their faces showing significant shock. She recovered first, turning back to Kakashi. "How do you keep doing these things? We couldn't put half of what your team seems to be able to manage in a movie without being called out on it being entirely unrealistic!"
That's the BEST recognition of skill.
"How long have we had an airship station?" Kakashi asked, as if he didn't know given that he'd asked for it to be 'mysterious'. But him knowing any of this would imply that he had something to do with it.
"Two days," Naruto answered. "It appeared overnight, along with the two fully-functional airships. The Anbu weren't happy about a sudden structure within the security perimeter either."
Yeah, I'll bet they weren't. And they know whose fault it was, even if like normal they can't prove it. Mostly because if it were anyone else they probably
could prove it.
"Not much, but it might also make a good hot spring area."
"...you've added a hot spring area to every bunker so far."
If you can, why not?
"They're going to be spoiled."
"...you're just jealous that you never had bunkers like this before, aren't you?"
"...maybe."
Well, at least he admitted it. And hey, he has them
now.
Without the bite-to-heal node the taste changes remained but you could develop ulcers, and if scalpel chakra was used for some reason everything ended up seemingly impossibly spicy and you would develop ulcers.
For some reason, that last part about
definitely getting ulcers is funny.
Slightly disappointing that you need a special bloodline to make the healing ones safe, though.
This led to a very difficult to parse look on the man's face as he looked between the scorch mark from the explosion and the scroll he was still holding.
"I may have to decide that I hate you," Sasori said.
"Oh?" Naruto asked.
"He's going to be insufferable until he can figure out how to make those himself."
Well, he
has just been outperformed in his area of expertise.
Why, food might only be the beginning. It might be possible to arrange for literally everything normally carried to be used as an explosive on demand instead of relying on the annoying-to-produce special chakra clay.
THAT'S NOT AN IMPROVEMENT!
"...your puppets can control puppets," Sasori finally said, trailing off at the end and sounding like this was a revelation he'd never even considered.
Now
both of them have had revelations!
"Yeah, especially since the forecast calls for high winds and torrential downpours over the next day or two, plus a near-guarantee of a zombie invasion for the entire first stage."
Every single examinee: Excuse me,
what?
Not sure where the idea for a pile of pools with bamboo poles to provide points to get altitude without using the arena wall came from, but it feels dangerous and Hoshi had fun with it.
Is someone about to become a panda?
Naruto blinked. "What switch?"
Futo looked between Naruto and the arena. "The one that happened while we were talking?"
"I haven't even started on the building seals. Besides, if anything like that had happened then the charge monitoring seal would...be...huh. It's down around twenty percent? It shouldn't be any further than two for the illusions, and that's if I've got a lot of leakage."
Uhh... That's impressive, yet also alarming. Mostly the second, because that screwup has somehow altered reality and also burned a LOT of power that could easily have gone to something more dangerous. Like exploding.
"The one that was bound to the remnants of the one-tail and has a one-tail puppet of his own?"
"Yes. I feel that it would be good for him to get another attempt."
"Are you letting him make the attempt because you missed him gibbering in fear the last time and nobody got pictures?"
"...maybe."
That stupid puppet keeps coming back up. And Gaara wants pictures. This is hilarious!
"Excuse me," Gaara said, causing Kankuro to jump. "I understand that you have pictures of my brother gibbering in fear?"
Naruto looked between the two. "Er, yes. How did you find out about that, and weren't you just across town talking with Mei and Shisui?"
"I was, but embarrassing pictures of my siblings are far more important. I'd have been here sooner, but I had to avoid the crowd at Inuzuka Jerky. I'm impressed that you didn't react to my sudden presence though."
It's a great mental image, him just
appearing, then asking with a toneless yet demanding voice for the incriminating pictures.
"Maybe the fox and humanoid ones I started with, then? I've heavily modified both by now, of course. Figured out better ways to protect joints, made the humanoid one look a bit more realistic, that kind of thing."
"modified"
Naruto: *promptly deploys two more demon puppets*
Kankuro: *passes out frothing*
On the other hand, the audience was obviously delighted with the extra bit of show, and use of hands to control the music-playing zombies meant focusing on using feet and tail to take out the attacking zombies. It was a surprisingly good training method and setting up zombie seals in the areas he trained in for doing this kind of thing more often might not be a bad idea.
Yes,
you're bored, but you've just caused lifelong emotional damage.
Again.
"I figured out what's happening afterwards, but yes, a slight error in the original seal array led to unexpected places."
"I guess that proves that he really is an Uzumaki," the Raikage said after a moment. "You could be forgiven for thinking otherwise with the hair, but accidentally creating one of the most impressive seals I've ever heard of proves it. Though if this wasn't the intention, I wonder what the plan actually was?"
The funniest part is that this is pretty true in real life, too.
"Then can we take the uneven ground with zombies as a better demonstration of our abilities?"
...Of course they would.
"I don't know if reviewing the footage will help," Anko-sensei said. "But it seems that you each took out two hundred seventy two and a half zombies, which would make this a perfect draw."
...Of course they would.
an overly-complicated but likely still useful technique for taking care of failed projects without setting active seals off
I wonder if this works on other people's seals that aren't technically failed? As in, an infiltration tool if you don't want to bother decrypting their seals?
"What?"
"How long have you been able to use dust release?" Itachi asked.
Oops. So that's what the technique apparently was.
She paused at a door that had been locked between her and the second cut bridge, pulling keys out and unlocking it before moving on.
The more any of their security people pay attention the more depressed they're getting. That's almost worse than disintegrating their gate...
Not to mention the ominous hovering, use of the freaking
wood release too, and so forth...
and a surprise unprotected copy of the paperwork technique. Though the latter was marked as being the shadow clone
I don't know what's the funniest part here.
- That everyone is so afraid of paperwork, or hasn't reformed it to be more efficient.
- That no one has figured out the obvious solution.
- That Naruto is going around stealing back copies of "either" technique in the name of national security despite it just being a somewhat strong clone technique with a horrific chakra cost...
"Just thousands of zombies," Naruto pointed out.
"...you use those seals far too often."
"I keep wondering when Orochimaru is going to show up annoyed that I stole and improved his work, admittedly, but they're far too useful for all kinds of things."
I suspect when he does show up he'll ask for pointers at this rate...
But he is probably mildly annoyed that they're this effective, yes.
"I'm going to need to make more of these," he mused as he checked the water. "And not fully understanding how it works is going to drive me nuts, but having access to private hot springs in the bases and bunkers I use most frequently is going to be a nice consolation prize."
Let me guess, he copied the Hiraishin targeting part too? So now they have a direct line into his most important secret bases.
Ino blushed. "I got fed up and burned the demon book when my headache got too bad."
"These copies were made to burn reasonably safely in case of something like that after Odoroki had a similar reaction."
That's... considerate? I think?
*I turn into my fiery demon form to incinerate those who'd dare harm a book of priceless knowledge*
"If her sensei hasn't handed over the seal tag full of exploding kunai and shuriken then she probably isn't ready for them."
Tenten looked betrayed, but also slumped in defeat. He was at least nice enough to wait until she'd left to give Hinata and Ino their sets.
Ouch. Bad enough she's not considered worthy of them yet, and then he hands them out to the others when she's gone.
Reminds me a bit of the "I love you both equally." *other sibling leaves* "It's you, and by a
lot" comic...
"How in the world did you make another Forest of Death?"
"By not realizing that I was copying someone else's mistake," Naruto answered. "Though I didn't expect you to figure it out before seeing inside."
"This has the same comforting feeling of the original."
COMFORTING!?
"...I'm carrying a legendary sword that was literally made for sewing instead of as a weapon?"
oh no
Somewhere, Shirou is laughing.
"I figure it's suitable revenge for her birthday gift to me last month, essentially giving her legendary weapons that aren't intended to be weapons at all. Even if she swears that her seal wasn't supposed to slam the bowl of ramen into my face at speed."
"
Did you just... hold a grudge?"
A chakra string flew out into a nearby tree, then returned with a scroll that was lightly tossed at the group. Choza caught it, suddenly looking half-terrified as he opened the scroll and found that it was a blank mission report form. "You...how could you?"
That is an impressive level of skill with wood release, I suppose. But I can't decide if that's ingenious or evil.
"If pops saw this he'd either stroke out on the spot or have launched a dozen fire techniques into it to burn it to the ground before he even knew what he was doing."
"I took the latter into account. The whole forest is fireproofed, including the paperwork until it's harvested, and the trees are incredibly reinforced to resist most other forms of attack."
He's taking the wrong lesson from this again...
but after the council had recovered from the shock he'd informed them that he wanted to make genin find the right blank forms in the dome.
Council: "Well, it's okay as long as it happens to someone else."
"Right, you're an Uzumaki too. All of you seem to dismantle your own boxes and the boxes of those around you to some degree."
"I don't think that's a fair assessment."
"You wouldn't."
Pretty good description, honestly.
"...and you can't figure out how a telephone works, or why the motor windings have to be the way they are."
"Black magic of some kind."
Even the
phrase itself feels slightly out of character for him, which is even funnier. And of course he's done far weirder stuff that far more people would consider absurd.
"Like doors that have some kind of chakra meter built into them for reasons you haven't explained?"
"Yep."
I haven't figured out what this is for yet, but I can already guess a lot of people are going to be salty about it.
But as of right now, I cannot welcome you to the joint chunin exams. Before we can do that, first you must individually prove that you are worthy of the rank of genin.
This is just
amazing.
"I think he's treating the whole thing as a lesson that sometimes things are exactly what they seem to be and that looking underneath the underneath type behavior needs to include an assumption that there might not be something there to find."
More people need to remember that fact, really.
"So by intent or accident you've created the first international definition of 'genin level'," Shisui said as he looked over the reports from the day before. "And then told entire nations that their standards aren't good enough."
Oops? But he's also not wrong...
For example, she'd spent two hours yesterday staring in awe and horror at the little bush under a rain shield that was growing demolition-grade explosive tags.
I can only look on with awe. And slight horror. But mostly awe.
Those poor genin... May the God of Paperwork have mercy on their souls. Wait, he's the Uzukage... Nevermind then.
Cue "I
am your god" meme...
It probably said something about Naruto's thought processes that the first thing that came to mind from this was an idea for freaking out the Kage.
Maybe, but if you have the ability...
Naruto had quickly managed the original paper, and figured out that the theory translated almost directly into a 'paper paperwork clone'. Expanding that to including ink on the paper hadn't taken long.
Uh oh. Given the reactions so far I wonder if this will scare them more than the Kyuubi?
Or they'll think his mad powers have corrupted his form and he needs to be destroyed.
Not much difference, really.
and a quick prank against Anko with a clone turning into dango.
He'd better be proud of his skill, because I'm sure she has killed people for messing with her dango before.
