Holiday Without The Plan
Your curtsy is flawless as you bid the shrine maiden farewell, and she bows formally once again as she returns to her duties and you depart the premises.

Kyubey's tail brushes against the back of your neck as you cross through the first red gate and start making your way through the long forested stone path.

It speaks up as you reach its end. "Where are you headed now?" It asks with some curiosity in its childish voice.

You pass through the last gate at the shrine's entrance before shrugging with your free shoulder. "I am unsure." You say as you descend the polished steps. "I think..." You trail off as you finally leave the shrine behind, looking around the small shopping space, mentally remarking upon the human souls now mingling about.

You dismiss them, before absentmindedly humming as you think. "...I will explore this park." You inform the alien of your random whim. "It appears to be quite large."

Kyubey says nothing as you exit the plaza and converge into one of many paths that cut through the so-called 'park'.

The area you eventually emerge into is the exact opposite of the heavy forest of the shrine, instead only a few trees litter the wide and open space. A veritable web of stone paths weave through the enormous grassy fields and the occasional body of water. Humans also populate it, mostly adults, though you do see the occasional child.

You manage to find an empty bench as you make your way deeper into the open park. You glance around as you carefully sit down, setting your Compendium at your side.

Kyubey hops off your shoulder, landing squarely on the book. You frown at the blatant disregard of your property, but you put the issue aside as it starts to speak.

"You truly have no plan, Lavenza?" You raise an eyebrow at it. Again with this? "You have, of course, made your intentions absolutely clear; but there are still those amongst us who believe you possess some ulterior motive. We apologize for our bluntness."

You glance at the elaborate fountain in front of you as you ponder its words. You distantly remember how Elizabeth told you of a wild and inconsistent tale regarding the magical wish-granting properties of human fountains.

Real fountains, as one would expect, possess no such abilities.

Nevertheless, the fond memory brings a small smile to your lips. Your sister had to make up a fairytale about an inanimate object in order to force said object into something worthy of her attention.

Why couldn't it just be some regular, absolutely normal fountain?

"Your colleagues are free to think whatever they like." You say firmly. "What I said remains true." You glance down at Kyubey. "All of this... is merely a temporary arrangement."

It bows its head in assent. "While that may be the case, you must understand our current position. When dealing with an unprecedented anomaly like you, all possibilities must be carefully considered and accounted for."

You resort to studying the various assort of humans in your vicinity as Kyubey drones on. They are clothed in vestments vastly different from the ones you found common throughout the city, and you slowly come to realize the bizarre body movements are actually training.

Of course. That makes much more sense. Their spastic motions almost made you worry for a second.

"To summarize, we only wish to ask you a few questions about yourself and your place of origin. You can certainly refuse my proposal, yet we nonetheless believe this exchange can be mutually beneficial for both parties involved."

Oh. The thing kept talking while you drifted off.

You glance down at Kyubey, its ghostly tail swishing in a repeating pattern as it stares at you.

What do you do?

[] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[] An exchange? What would you ask in return for valuable information?
—[] Power!
—[] Money?
—[] ...Food?
—[] Something else?
-[] Emphasize specific topics.
—[] Your goal of unwinding.
—[] Your power. You refuse to be tossed around by some alien rat.
—[] Something else?
-[] Omit specific topics.
—[] Persona.
—[] Your master.
—[] Your siblings.
—[] Something else?
-[] Ask it some questions.
—[] Topics?
-[] Do something else?

[] ...No? Why would you ever agree to something like that?
-[] Ask for clarification anyway.
-[] Berate Kyubey for getting your Grimoire dirty with its paws.
—[] Pet it some more either way.
-[] Do something else?

[] Write-In.

-=-
This is mostly just the rat laying down some of its cards on the table in an attempt to understand your motives.

Write-Ins are welcome. You can be as detailed as you want. Just be reasonable in your demands.
 
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[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
—[X] Your goal of unwinding.
-[X] Omit specific topics.
—[X] Persona.
—[X] Your master.
 
[X] ...No? Why would you ever agree to something like that?
-[X] Ask for clarification anyway.
-[X] Berate Kyubey for getting your Grimoire dirty with its paws.
—[X] Pet it some more either way.

What is he gonna do? Make us talk?
 
[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
—[X] Your goal of unwinding.

Its boring keeping anything secret.
 
[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
—[X] Your goal of unwinding.
-[X] Omit specific topics.
—[X] Persona.
—[X] Your master.
 
[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
—[X] Your goal of unwinding.
-[X] Omit specific topics.
—[X] Persona.
—[X] Your master. Specifically, keep how much more powerful than you he is mysterious and unknown, but looming and present.

This is our first line of defense: a logical creature is unlikely to take a risk on assaulting us if we have even more powerful forces looking out for us.

We are a being of unknown but somewhat quantifiable power: a demi-god, to put things succinctly.
Igor, in Kyuubey's mind, then, should be of a Divine mandate: his actions inscrutable, his powerlevel unknown beyond "even larger than ours". We can hype up Elizabeth as well, or (and I think this would be more in-character for Lavenza, who seems to take more cues from her) Margaret. Or both - nobody ever said we aren't the weakest Attendant. So now we have three layers to the pie, all unknown. We are an unknown being of great power. Elizabeth is greater than us. Margaret is even more powerful than she. And Igor Masters us all. The idea of Philemon should be kept in a nebulous form of foreshadowing - A god of gods, ready to reprise should Kyuubey misstep so drastically that Igor cannot handle him alone.

The fact that the Incubators are probably strong enough to face down the Velvet Room in a straight-up fight is irrelevant: we don't need to be an actual threat, we just need to look enough like a threat that Kyuubey doesn't want to upset us. By, for example, tricking us into a contract we don't really want: Kyuubey doesn't understand why this upset humans, but I'll bet he knows that it does.
 
[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
—[X] Your goal of unwinding.
-[X] Omit specific topics.
—[X] Persona.
—[X] Your master.
 
[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
—[X] Your goal of unwinding.
-[X] Omit specific topics.
—[X] Persona.
—[X] Your master.
 
[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
—[X] Your goal of unwinding.
-[X] Omit specific topics.
—[X] Persona.
—[X] Your master.

Sounds like a plan.
 
[X] ...No? Why would you ever agree to something like that?
-[X] Ask for clarification anyway.

Information has VALUE that maybe we can trade for, instead of just giving away for free to this... heartless monster from beyond the stars.

Capitalism come on
 
Information has VALUE that maybe we can trade for, instead of just giving away for free to this... heartless monster from beyond the stars.

Which is why we're emphasizing that we're on vacation and teasing the barest of tidbits about everything else. Seduction is as much about what might be as what is, after all. And if Kyubey wants info, might as well upsell him/them/it as much as possible and make him pay out the ass.

We've gotta trump Elizabeth's stupidly-tiny-yet-hilariously-full coin purse, after all!
 
[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
—[X] Your goal of unwinding.
-[X] Omit specific topics.
—[X] Persona.
—[X] Your master.
 
Which is why we're emphasizing that we're on vacation and teasing the barest of tidbits about everything else. Seduction is as much about what might be as what is, after all. And if Kyubey wants info, might as well upsell him/them/it as much as possible and make him pay out the ass.

We've gotta trump Elizabeth's stupidly-tiny-yet-hilariously-full coin purse, after all!
The damn thing doesn't have feelings dood, you can only caress a brick so much, the fact that it is confronted with a being it is in the dark about is more than enough, just make it pay out the ass for those crumbs you're handing out!
 
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[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
—[X] Your goal of unwinding.
-[X] Omit specific topics.
—[X] Persona.
—[X] Your master.
 
The damn thing doesn't have feelings dood, you can only caress a brick so much, the fact that it is confronted with a being it is in the dark about is more than enough, just make it pay out the ass for those crumbs you're handing out!
It does not, but it is curious about where we're from, meaning that we can use this to milk it for all its worth.
 
[X] ...No? Why would you ever agree to something like that?
-[X] Ask for clarification anyway.
-[X] Berate Kyubey for getting your Grimoire dirty with its paws.
—[X] Pet it some more either way.
 
[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
—[X] Your goal of unwinding.
-[X] Omit specific topics.
—[X] Persona.
—[X] Your master.
 
Kyuubey can still be upsold and "seduced" by the promise of knowledge though. If he has motive to seek out knowledge on his own, then we can give the impression the knowledge is worth more than it truly is by revealing sections of the whole knowledge which suggest (but don't prove) that the knowledge is more valuable than it is in objectivity.

There's nothing illogical about satisfying a need for knowledge, Homu's full of shit - knowledge very directly translates into power and efficiency, which translates themselves directly into whatever the user wants to use them for. If Kyuubey is trying to maximize the amount of energy he garners, he's going to be very interested in knowing everything he can about sources of power within his domain: Earth. As we qualify, he's going to be interested in us, and others like us who he may or may not contact someday. It's quantifiable, and could be boiled down into a arithmetic equation if one particularly wanted to do so.

E = e (C (M * G * B + u)) where E is energy gained, e is efficiency, C is number of contracts, M is magical capacity, G is grief, B is the total mass within the barrier, and u is the amount of magic expended by the meguca over her lifetime.
We add another section to the function, V(x), with that function representing how much energy he could make off of the Velvet Room.


A lot of this is probably simplified, and I imagine each of the variables in that equation are functions in their own right, probably even related ones. But this is probably the basics of what Kyuubey's looking at: maximize E through whatever means possible. M is probably M(p), with p representing potential and being modified through ways we don't know enough to understand. B is also likely a function of p, or even of M(p). G almost definitely is related to u, possibly to the point where Kyuubey simply counts u as 0 in the greater equation, which would match with his actions.
 
Current vote tally:
##### 3.21
[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
[X] Your goal of unwinding.
-[X] Omit specific topics.
[X] Persona.
[X] Your master.
No. of votes: 8
veekie, ComissarPancakes, SleepMode, HavocKeeper, WeylandSmith, Nordik, Xorn15, karmaoa

[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
[X] Your goal of unwinding.
No. of votes: 1
Jrin

[X] ...Of course? You don't necessarily disagree with anything you have heard.
-[X] Ask for some clarification first, of course. It would not do to accept some unknown and vague deal.
-[X] Emphasize specific topics.
[X] Your goal of unwinding.
-[X] Omit specific topics.
[X] Persona.
[X] Your master. Specifically, keep how much more powerful than you he is mysterious and unknown, but looming and present.
No. of votes: 1
Karnewarrior

[X] ...No? Why would you ever agree to something like that?
-[X] Ask for clarification anyway.
-[X] Berate Kyubey for getting your Grimoire dirty with its paws.
[X] Pet it some more either way.
No. of votes: 2
Lazy Minx, WolfNight

[X] ...No? Why would you ever agree to something like that?
-[X] Ask for clarification anyway.
No. of votes: 1
Varano

Votes are not locked. Votes are locked.

There's nothing illogical about satisfying a need for knowledge, Homu's full of shit - knowledge very directly translates into power and efficiency, which translates themselves directly into whatever the user wants to use them for. If Kyuubey is trying to maximize the amount of energy he garners, he's going to be very interested in knowing everything he can about sources of power within his domain: Earth. As we qualify, he's going to be interested in us, and others like us who he may or may not contact someday. It's quantifiable, and could be boiled down into a arithmetic equation if one particularly wanted to do so.

Excellent analysis. And yes, I have to say Homulilly is probably not the most unbiased source of information around.
 
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Why are we giving any information to the Kyuubey? They're evil? Like, people like to present them at true neutral but there would be no witches without them which means they are directly responsible for all of the deaths.
 
We don't know that IC, and besides, Kyuubey isn't Evil, he's True Neutral. He's a Paperclip Machine dedicated 100% to the purpose of stopping the universe from grinding to a halt, even if that means powering it on the souls of miserable children.

All the deaths caused by Witches would otherwise be attributable to the Heat Death of the Universe, which Kyuubey is implied as keeping at bay. He's True Neutral because he uses very evil means to accomplish very good causes. We don't know if there's a better way though.
 
Because a hostile Kyubey would be a pain. Better to string them along with crumbs and semi-cooperation while giving nothing of value
 
Bro, as someone with a wonky moral compass of their own, even I think that's evil.

It's the whole Worm Cauldron situation, and no one defends them.

The bunny cat is evil.
 
It's the whole Worm Cauldron situation, and no one defends them.

The bunny cat is evil.

Big difference here. Cauldron was made up of a bunch of people desperate for a solution in a hopeless situation.

Kyubey is an emotionless calculating alien who has the resources and time to look for other alternatives. They wouldn't even bother with the whole 'magical girl' thing if there were any other ways that were more cost effective to stopping the heat death of the universe.
 
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