(I'm posting earlier than usual today because my internet is being flaky.
)
Chapter 22: The Happiest Little Tea Party
Bureau of Reincarnation, present day:
The instant Flicker opened his door, I knew something was wrong. His neck and shoulders were as stiff as a cadaver's, and his glow had dimmed to practically nothing.
"Number 11270," he called through clenched teeth.
Warily, I floated across the waiting room, and he waved me into his office, shut the door, and slumped into his chair. For a moment, I expected him to keep going all the way to the floor and to huddle up under his desk. Wouldn't be the first time I'd seen a government functionary do that. The memory cheered me, and I shone a little brighter.
Speaking of his desk, though, my file wasn't lined up with the edge the way it usually was. It wasn't even open to my curriculum vitae, meaning that I could see a sloppy "softshell turtle" on the cover. And his brushes, inkstick, and inkstone were scattered about.
What's wrong? I demanded. The last thing I needed was to be dismembered and reshaped by a distracted star sprite. Bad enough to look like a softshell turtle – what if he reincarnated me as a
mutilated one?
Flicker swallowed and didn't meet my eyes. "Nothing's wrong, soul," he muttered, his use of "soul" instead of "Piri" confirming that something was very, very wrong.
The crucial question was whether it was his problem – or mine.
Heaven might execute physical bodies, but it didn't destroy souls, right? If it could have, wouldn't it have destroyed me instead of reincarnating me as a worm?
Okay, need more information. Not going to panic just yet.
I made my chime pure and sweet, like dewdrops rolling off pear blossoms, and soothed,
It's okay, Flicker. You don't have to pretend for my sake. I can tell you're upset over something. If you tell me what it is, I can help you figure it out.
Flicker continued to evade my gaze – not a good sign. "It's not a problem. It's an honor," he mumbled, making it sound like anything but. "The Star of – " He caught himself, but not fast enough.
A Star? Which one? If it were Cassius, I could understand his distress.
"I mean,
one of the Stars has requested to see you – "
Me???
" – so we need to head downstairs to the salon."
What do you mean, one of the Stars wants to see me? About what? Which Star? My voice sounded like pear blossoms impaled on rose thorns now, but I didn't care.
Why? Which Star? What for?
"If I were allowed to tell you, I'd have done so already. Now come on."
Flicker stood and straightened his robes but didn't start walking at once. He stared unseeingly at the door, as if steeling himself.
I floated up to his eye level and pulsed at him.
What's happening? Why can't you tell me? Why do they want to see me? They're not going to destroy me, are they? I got tried and punished already!
Heaving a long sigh, Flicker put a hand on the doorknob. "No, Piri, we don't destroy souls. The worst that can happen to you is that you reincarnate as a parasite, which you're not going to."
The efficient cruelty of that sentence took my breath away.
A parasite? You'd reincarnate me as a parasite
?
"No. I won't. This isn't that."
Just because you
won't doesn't mean that Star won't! Is it Cassius? It's Cassius, isn't it? He hates me. He's going to kick me back down into White Tier and reincarnate me as a parasite so I stay there forever!
Flicker massaged his temples with both hands. "Calm down, Piri. Please. It's not the Star of Heavenly Joy, or anyone allied with him."
That's what I'd
tell a soul if I were leading it to the slaughter!
"Then you're lucky I'm not you, aren't you?"
I stopped shrieking long enough to consider that. He made a fair point. I
didn't believe Flicker could pull off this kind of deception. But what if the Star had lied to him? Except, for what purpose? What self-respecting Star would care enough about a clerk's opinion to bother lying to him? I hung midair, pulsing uncertainly.
Opening the door, Flicker ordered again, "Come on. Keeping Glitter waiting is never a good idea."
I stayed right where I was.
I'm confused now. Just who are we seeing: a Star or Glitter?
"Both, Piri. Do you really think a third-class clerk is high ranking enough to entertain a goddess?"
A goddess, huh? The only female Star I could think of was an anti-candidate. As in, she never wanted to see me again.
What does this star goddess want from a lowly Green Tier soul?
"She'll explain in person. Now will you please come on!"
Well, I obviously wasn't going to escape this meeting, and getting hauled downstairs in a starlight cage would be too humiliating. I'd spent enough time in cages, thank you very much. Shooting up, I landed on Flicker's head.
Okay. All set.
On reflex, he lifted a hand to bat me off, then thought better of it.
With me perched on his head, Flicker and I went all the way to the bottom of the stairwell. We emerged into a wide hallway that was as elaborately decorated as the audience chamber on the top floor. Gilded columns gave off a fragrance of red cypress, and ink paintings and calligraphy scrolls hung on the walls. The paintings depicted animals from different Tiers and were quite good, I had to admit. Too bad the artist hadn't done a fox. The calligraphy, on the other hand, was a flowing, ribbon-like script that ran all the words together into a tangled mess, which was fine because most of it was just poetry celebrating life and reincarnation. Not worth reading.
We did pass a portrait of a smug-looking pug under a sign that declared, "Reincarnee of the Decade."
What's that? I couldn't point, but I did bounce a few times.
"What's what – oh, the Reincarnee of the Decade? That's to honor the soul that earned the most positive karma in one lifetime in the past decade."
Huh. A
pug had won the contest?
What do you get for winning?
I couldn't see Flicker's face since I was still draped over the top of his head, but his puzzlement was clear. "Get? What do you mean?"
I mean the reward for winning Reincarnee of the Decade. Like extra karma points, or a free pass on something that should have given you negative karma, or a choice of what animal you reincarnate as….
"Oh." Flicker shook his head, nearly whisking me off. "You get the honor of being recognized for your accomplishments by the Bureau and any visitors who come this way."
That does not seem like much.
Good thing I didn't have to see his glare.
Not far past the Reincarnee of the Decade wall, we approached a door whose frame was surrounded by lattice work. Above the lintel hung a sign announcing, "Grand Salon." Below it milled a cloud of star sprites in blue-and-silver uniforms I hadn't seen before, plus a number of anxious clerks in black.
One of the latter waved Flicker over. "Good, you're finally here. We thought we were going to have to send for a second tray of teacakes."
A tragedy, to be sure.
"Sorry to keep you waiting, Wink," apologized Flicker, and I realized that I'd seen the other clerk before. He was that grumpy star sprite who'd demanded absolute silence in the stairwell.
Wink raised a hand to knock, but stopped just before his knuckles connected with the wood. "Flicker, I suggest you get the soul into a more decorous position."
Flicker gave a start and glowed pink. Even though I could have slid off his head at once, I waited for him to mumble, "Piri, off, now, please."
Good enough. I oozed down until I was hovering just above his right shoulder.
Too tense for his trademark passive-aggressive sigh, Wink rapped on the door, opened it a crack, and murmured something to someone inside. Then he opened it all the way and nodded to Flicker. The two of us moved forward into a salon that was, as promised, grand. Display shelves with translucent porcelain vases, plus more clerks and those two crane maidens I'd seen at the Meeting of the Dragon Host, surrounded the space. Centered precisely on a thick, cloud-patterned rug was a low rosewood table. On one side, the Superintendent of Reincarnation sat on the edge of a rosewood chair, wielding a teapot. And across from her was –
Aurelia.
Here for her revenge, at long last.
Traitor, I hissed into Flicker's ear, right as Glitter glanced at us and beckoned with one crooked finger.
Flicker dropped to his knees and pressed his forehead into the rug. Too bad it looked soft and plushy, unlike the floorboards in his office.
I, on the other hand, was scanning the room for escape. No windows, no door save the one we'd come in, which the attendants had shut as soon as we entered, no vents or grates I could squeeze through except for that lattice around the door –
"Good, you brought Soul Number 11270." Glitter's flat tone suggested that there was nothing good about the situation whatsoever, for her or anyone else involved, an assessment with which I agreed completely. To Aurelia, in a marginally more courteous voice, she said, "This is the soul you requested."
I was still hovering, buzzing and pulsing and debating whether to flee or brazen it out. One thing was clear: I couldn't let them reincarnate me as a parasite. If they reincarnated me as a parasite, that was the end. I'd never earn another half-point of good karma. I'd stay a parasite forever – a sentient parasite. I'd rather die.
I was about to zip for the lattice when Aurelia looked straight at me and smiled. Not the steely smile of an enemy savoring your destruction, but a warm one, like what she'd given the clerks as she thanked them for organizing the dragons' conference. Huh. Was she really that forgiving?
"Soul," said Aurelia, "thank you for coming."
The honor is mine, my lady, I replied, dipping a graceful bow.
"I imagine you are anxious to start your next life, but I wished to speak with you first." A flash of pain crossed her face.
No surprise there. Aurelia had never liked talking to me. Or looking at me. Or acknowledging me in any way, shape, or form.
It is an honor, I repeated.
How may I be of assistance?
"I…." She actually had to stop and compose herself before she could go on.
Stranger and stranger. The Aurelia I remembered had never been squeamish about talking to people she despised. It simply wasn't a luxury that an empress could afford.
"Soul, I understand that two lives ago, you lived in Black Sand Creek, and that you and a human girl both died in the same demon attack."
In a flash, I saw. Aurelia didn't know who I was! Because Glitter hadn't felt like telling her, and Flicker hadn't dared. The ex-empress just wanted to know more about her ex-daughter! This I knew exactly how to handle.
Yes, my lady.
"I…that is, I would like you to tell me more about the human girl."
Ha. Got her. I'd have to consider what I wanted to extract from her in return. For starters, her goodwill.
Of course, my lady. Where would you like me to begin? Did you wish to hear more about the attack?
She didn't wince, carefully so. "I already know the broad outlines of what happened. What I am interested in is anything you remember about the girl herself."
Below me, Flicker was trembling, terrified that I'd reveal that he'd told me who the girl was. He didn't need to worry. I saw no advantage to exposing him now.
She was very brave, I assured Aurelia.
She was scared, but she fought so hard against the demon. Umm, I'm afraid I was a catfish in that life, so I didn't see that much more….
She caught the faint emphasis on the word "that." Leaning forward a little, she urged, "Yes? What more did you see?"
Feigning awkwardness, I flipped from side to side and rotated towards Glitter, who immediately understood that anything else I said would give away the Goddess of Life's boon. She pinched her lips in a definitive "No."
Ha. I'd figured the Bureau of Reincarnation didn't want that story making the rounds of Heaven.
As intended, Aurelia caught our exchange. "If there is more, I would very much appreciate hearing it," she stressed, to Glitter this time.
The Superintendent returned a severe expression, almost a scowl. "My lady, there is nothing I would like more than to assist you, but some things are over my head."
"To whom should I speak about learning the full story, then?"
"That would be our Director or Assistant Director."
"But the Director is the Kitchen God, who won't return for another month." A forlorn edge slipped into Aurelia's voice. "As for the Assistant Director, has anyone replaced the Goddess of Life yet?"
Flicker definitely winced at that.
Looking Aurelia right in the eyes, Glitter replied, "It has not been formalized yet. But it looks like the Star of Heavenly Joy will be appointed to that role."
What? Cassius was in charge from now on? I'd never get out of Green Tier! It would be a miracle if he let me
stay in Green Tier!
Aurelia stiffened visibly. "I see. In the absence of an official Assistant Director, then, I will wait for the Kitchen God to return. Thank you for your time."
She rose so abruptly that she caught everyone off guard. The attendants barely had time to fumble the door open before she reached it, and the crane maidens straggled after her, trading raised eyebrows. Glitter hurried after them, looking even more sour than usual, and I had a feeling she wouldn't be granting Aurelia any more meetings anytime soon.
Which was exactly what I wanted. Aurelia was a mother, and from what I'd seen, mothers would do anything for their children. She'd contact me.
Below me, Flicker was unbending his stiff knees and creaking to his feet, clinging to an armrest for support. I plopped onto his shoulder and feigned a huge sigh of relief.
Whew!
"Whew is right," he agreed fervently. "Let's get back upstairs and get you reincarnated."
As a softshell turtle?
"Yes."
I had no objections.
A/N 1: Thanks to my readers, especially Ciber, Jaertin, and The Vulture Queen for adorable suggestions about reincarnation!
A/N 2: Thanks to my awesome Patreon backers, BananaBobert, Charlotte, Hookshyu, Michael, Voligne, and Anonymous! And of course, thanks to everyone for reading.
