The Miserable Misadventures of Mayor Missy
- Thread starter RavensDagger
- Start date
- Superhero
- Location
- Somewhere that's on a map
Oh jeez, little heroine Annie managing to get the cops to endorse her in gang country? Talk about stumbling right into the election winning ticket on day one.
All she needs now are the Unions (Danny) and a couple of prospective cabinet members/local celebrities (Vicky or Amy, really) to say nice words about her in front of the camera and she'll shoot into the lead.
Alas, poor Coil. The one candidate he cannot afford to get rid of is also the one that's the most likely to beat him to the stump.
RavensDagger
Officially Infracted Speceist since 2019!
- Location
- Someplace Cold, Canada
She's 'cute as a button.' She'll be fine as long as she doesn't use the speeches Taylor writes for her.
- Location
- Neptune
Thus we are almost guaranteed a scene of a debate where she gets flustered by some competitor's attack on her during a debate. This results in her seeking refuge in the notes and talking points Taylor prepared for her.
At least she isn't running for mayor of Springfield.
Well, it depends whether she wants to become mayor via democratic elections or popular uprising/coup.
- Location
- A Hopper painting
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I vote Coup, but that's just me 
In all seriousness though, another excellent chapter, I can't wait to see what happens next.
In all seriousness though, another excellent chapter, I can't wait to see what happens next.
SanguisAnima
Σ Series Z10/0 Group A 4A-GELU Mk1
- Location
- nowhere important
AFAIK Director Piggot isn't the type to drink coffee in front of her monitor or TV or whatnot, otherwise she'll either have a coughing fit or do a five-foot spittake.
I do wonder how exactly this Director Piggot would take the news of Missy's mayoralty candidacy.
- Location
- A Hopper painting
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Oh god, now I just imagine Director Piggot doing the 'I want some butts!' Thing from Top Gun.
...
...
Upon entering the PRT Headquarters later that evening, Missy could tell something was off. First, when the receptionist buzzed her in, it almost seemed as if the lady pitied her; "Best of luck dearie, you'll need it." Then as she rode the elevator up, the agent who entered on the second floor quickly backed out; something was definitely going on, Missy wasn't sure what, but it was definitely something. She was tapping her foot waiting for the elevator to arrive when she started to hear a woman yelling, it somewhat, no definitely sounded like director Piggot. Missy stepped out of the elevator and was walking towards Deputy Director Renick's office when she began to make out the yelling.
"One of your snot-nosed Wards just decided to run for mayor! Then she takes out Mush! OUT OF COSTUME! Then she went on TV and told everyone to Vote for her, an unconscious supervillain in the background! I want somebody's butt; I want it! Now I've had it!"
Piggot stormed out of the Renick's office, noticing neither Missy nor an agent carrying a tray of coffee, Piggot slammed right into the man, knocking him to the floor and the coffee all over herself; the poor agent quailed as the Director exploded again. "God DAMN IT! That's twice! I want some butts!"
Missy just ducked her head and breathed a sigh of when Piggot stormed by without noticing. Somehow she doubted Renick was going to be very sympathetic when they talked.
...
...
Upon entering the PRT Headquarters later that evening, Missy could tell something was off. First, when the receptionist buzzed her in, it almost seemed as if the lady pitied her; "Best of luck dearie, you'll need it." Then as she rode the elevator up, the agent who entered on the second floor quickly backed out; something was definitely going on, Missy wasn't sure what, but it was definitely something. She was tapping her foot waiting for the elevator to arrive when she started to hear a woman yelling, it somewhat, no definitely sounded like director Piggot. Missy stepped out of the elevator and was walking towards Deputy Director Renick's office when she began to make out the yelling.
"One of your snot-nosed Wards just decided to run for mayor! Then she takes out Mush! OUT OF COSTUME! Then she went on TV and told everyone to Vote for her, an unconscious supervillain in the background! I want somebody's butt; I want it! Now I've had it!"
Piggot stormed out of the Renick's office, noticing neither Missy nor an agent carrying a tray of coffee, Piggot slammed right into the man, knocking him to the floor and the coffee all over herself; the poor agent quailed as the Director exploded again. "God DAMN IT! That's twice! I want some butts!"
Missy just ducked her head and breathed a sigh of when Piggot stormed by without noticing. Somehow she doubted Renick was going to be very sympathetic when they talked.
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RichardWhereat
Feanor did nothing wrong.
- Location
- Australia
Didn't think Piggot would publicly talk about her sexual interest at work. Seems unprofessional.
She cannot lie though.
RichardWhereat
Feanor did nothing wrong.
- Location
- Australia
Either way, she'll make enough money during her capaign to be able to retire.
Dromeosaur
Feathery Raptor of snowy planes and frozen sea
- Location
- The land of Trees and Squirrels
That was pure perfection.
Chapter Eight
RavensDagger
Officially Infracted Speceist since 2019!
- Location
- Someplace Cold, Canada
Chapter Eight
Chad, the reporter, was a straight-laced kind of guy. He wasn't too old, just twenty four and already a reporter on the ground. He liked rubbing his big, fat chin a lot before asking that those around him change something a little, like shifting to one side or another. He did that last thing a lot.
Missy was beginning to get real tired of Chad's shit.
"Okay, okay, I think we're ready to begin," Chad said as he took a step back, straightened his tie and smiled prettily for the camera. The camera he'd been moving around for the last twenty minutes, only to put it where it had started with a difference of a five degree turn; what was he, her mom? "Ready?" he asked his camerawoman.
"We're set to record in five. This isn't live, but try to wrap it up as if it is. Three, two, one!" She waved forwards and Chad's smile grew a whole three sizes larger. Like a shark's.
Ew.
"A fascinating turn in the battle against crime took place today as the BBPD, an intrepid young heroine and her friend managed to capture and apprehend a local supervillain on the corner of Seventh and Jackson this morning. With me today are said heroine, Missy Biron, and Sergeant Jim Hardy of the BBPD."
"Hello, Chad," Jim started as the camera panned over to them.
"Hello," Missy added, smile number four plastered firmly onto her features. The politely interested but not awed smile. The questioning look Chad sent her when she didn't show any nervousness continued to amuse.
"Officer Hardy, can you tell us a little of what happened here this morning in your own words?" Chad asked before bringing his microphone close to Jim's lip rug.
"Ah, I have to admit that the BBPD's involvement in this situation was all quite simple. The hard part was already done by the time we got here." Jim, the poor man, took some time to compose himself and wipe at his forehead with a handkerchief. He'd never been all that good in front of an audience. "We arrived at the scene to find Miss Biron here standing over the suspects, including one suspected parahuman."
"Is that so?" Chad asked with false curiosity. "In that case, Miss Biron, could you tell us a little of what happened?"
"Of course, Chad," Missy said as soon as the microphone was close. She transitioned to smile eight, the 'I've got good news to announce smile' that she normally only ever got to use when endorsing a new toy line or an anti-bullying announcement at a local public school. "Officer Jim is selling his efforts, and those of the BBPD, short. They did a fine job today, responding in record time and following every procedure by the book."
"Well well, it seems the BBPD has a fan," Chad said as he gave the camera a wink. "Can you tell us what led to the call?"
Missy nodded. "I'm a huge fan of the boys--and girls--in blue. And it was all quite simple. My friend and I were going from telephone pole to pole putting up advertisements for my campaign when the... suspects accosted and threatened us. One of them tripped over his own shoes when he ran at us and knocked himself out. I think the others took offense at their comrades' incompetence and decided to get rid of the witnesses. Fortunately, I had a taser. All five of them went down in no time."
"You took out all five on your own?" Chad asked, not skipping a beat even as his camerawoman fought not to laugh behind him.
"Of course not, I had my manager, Taylor, with me."
"Ah, a young woman helped you?"
"She cheered me on, yes. Taylor's just fifteen, but she's good in a scrap when she needs to be." Missy switched to smile two, the one she used when sharing a secret. "She didn't need to be today. Lucky them."
Missy might not have been joking.
"I see, and what was it like fighting the parahuman, were you afraid? Which parahuman was it?" Chad asked.
Missy was starting to question the sort of training that went into becoming a reporter. Or perhaps the lack thereof. Hadn't she made it clear she hadn't been afraid already? "Mush. It was Mush from the local gang called the Archer's Bridge Merchants. As for fear... I was afraid that I might get dirty fighting him, I suppose." Missy shrugged one shoulder and gave him the 'don't worry about it' smile which she had come up with on her own. "Watching out for the sharp edges on any trash he was wearing was the hardest part."
"That's very impressive," Chad said. "Do you have any last comments for the viewers at home?"
"I do!" Missy said with false cheer. That had been her one concession to Chad for the right to the interview. "As I said, I was out and about this morning to campaign for the oncoming mayoral elections for Brockton Bay. When voting time comes, remember that when Missy Biron says she's tough on crime, she means it!" She grinned at the camera and gave them a thumbs-up.
"Well then, quite the morning for an otherwise quiet corner of the Bay. This has been Chad Folsom with Brockton Bay News."
The camerawoman cut a hand across her neck and that was that.
Missy's smile dropped and she started working her mouth to get the stiffness out. Switching her expressions like that on the fly had never agreed with her. "Well, that was fun," she said wryly. "Thank you for the interview, Chad, I look forward to seeing it on the air."
"Um, no problem, Miss Biron," he said before shaking her hand in a hurry, no doubt eager to get to the office and get to cutting and editing and whatever else a reporter did.
She said her goodbyes to Jim next, then walked off to rejoin Taylor. It wasn't even one in the afternoon yet. They could do a little more work.
Or get new slushies and talk about stupid stuff. That sounded good too.
***
"You're an asshole, Chad," Margeret said.
Chad smiled and shrugged. "Come on. It'll make for good television."
"Good television... that poor kid is going to get bullied so hard."
"Hey, she insisted," he said.
Margeret shook her head, but she just kept on packing their gear away. "You could have at least told her about the blue mouth."
"Ratings Marg, ratings."
***
Give @Marchenblanc, the co-author of this piece, some hugs too!
Wanted to give a shout-out to Eli who made the bad grammar go away.
Chad, the reporter, was a straight-laced kind of guy. He wasn't too old, just twenty four and already a reporter on the ground. He liked rubbing his big, fat chin a lot before asking that those around him change something a little, like shifting to one side or another. He did that last thing a lot.
Missy was beginning to get real tired of Chad's shit.
"Okay, okay, I think we're ready to begin," Chad said as he took a step back, straightened his tie and smiled prettily for the camera. The camera he'd been moving around for the last twenty minutes, only to put it where it had started with a difference of a five degree turn; what was he, her mom? "Ready?" he asked his camerawoman.
"We're set to record in five. This isn't live, but try to wrap it up as if it is. Three, two, one!" She waved forwards and Chad's smile grew a whole three sizes larger. Like a shark's.
Ew.
"A fascinating turn in the battle against crime took place today as the BBPD, an intrepid young heroine and her friend managed to capture and apprehend a local supervillain on the corner of Seventh and Jackson this morning. With me today are said heroine, Missy Biron, and Sergeant Jim Hardy of the BBPD."
"Hello, Chad," Jim started as the camera panned over to them.
"Hello," Missy added, smile number four plastered firmly onto her features. The politely interested but not awed smile. The questioning look Chad sent her when she didn't show any nervousness continued to amuse.
"Officer Hardy, can you tell us a little of what happened here this morning in your own words?" Chad asked before bringing his microphone close to Jim's lip rug.
"Ah, I have to admit that the BBPD's involvement in this situation was all quite simple. The hard part was already done by the time we got here." Jim, the poor man, took some time to compose himself and wipe at his forehead with a handkerchief. He'd never been all that good in front of an audience. "We arrived at the scene to find Miss Biron here standing over the suspects, including one suspected parahuman."
"Is that so?" Chad asked with false curiosity. "In that case, Miss Biron, could you tell us a little of what happened?"
"Of course, Chad," Missy said as soon as the microphone was close. She transitioned to smile eight, the 'I've got good news to announce smile' that she normally only ever got to use when endorsing a new toy line or an anti-bullying announcement at a local public school. "Officer Jim is selling his efforts, and those of the BBPD, short. They did a fine job today, responding in record time and following every procedure by the book."
"Well well, it seems the BBPD has a fan," Chad said as he gave the camera a wink. "Can you tell us what led to the call?"
Missy nodded. "I'm a huge fan of the boys--and girls--in blue. And it was all quite simple. My friend and I were going from telephone pole to pole putting up advertisements for my campaign when the... suspects accosted and threatened us. One of them tripped over his own shoes when he ran at us and knocked himself out. I think the others took offense at their comrades' incompetence and decided to get rid of the witnesses. Fortunately, I had a taser. All five of them went down in no time."
"You took out all five on your own?" Chad asked, not skipping a beat even as his camerawoman fought not to laugh behind him.
"Of course not, I had my manager, Taylor, with me."
"Ah, a young woman helped you?"
"She cheered me on, yes. Taylor's just fifteen, but she's good in a scrap when she needs to be." Missy switched to smile two, the one she used when sharing a secret. "She didn't need to be today. Lucky them."
Missy might not have been joking.
"I see, and what was it like fighting the parahuman, were you afraid? Which parahuman was it?" Chad asked.
Missy was starting to question the sort of training that went into becoming a reporter. Or perhaps the lack thereof. Hadn't she made it clear she hadn't been afraid already? "Mush. It was Mush from the local gang called the Archer's Bridge Merchants. As for fear... I was afraid that I might get dirty fighting him, I suppose." Missy shrugged one shoulder and gave him the 'don't worry about it' smile which she had come up with on her own. "Watching out for the sharp edges on any trash he was wearing was the hardest part."
"That's very impressive," Chad said. "Do you have any last comments for the viewers at home?"
"I do!" Missy said with false cheer. That had been her one concession to Chad for the right to the interview. "As I said, I was out and about this morning to campaign for the oncoming mayoral elections for Brockton Bay. When voting time comes, remember that when Missy Biron says she's tough on crime, she means it!" She grinned at the camera and gave them a thumbs-up.
"Well then, quite the morning for an otherwise quiet corner of the Bay. This has been Chad Folsom with Brockton Bay News."
The camerawoman cut a hand across her neck and that was that.
Missy's smile dropped and she started working her mouth to get the stiffness out. Switching her expressions like that on the fly had never agreed with her. "Well, that was fun," she said wryly. "Thank you for the interview, Chad, I look forward to seeing it on the air."
"Um, no problem, Miss Biron," he said before shaking her hand in a hurry, no doubt eager to get to the office and get to cutting and editing and whatever else a reporter did.
She said her goodbyes to Jim next, then walked off to rejoin Taylor. It wasn't even one in the afternoon yet. They could do a little more work.
Or get new slushies and talk about stupid stuff. That sounded good too.
***
"You're an asshole, Chad," Margeret said.
Chad smiled and shrugged. "Come on. It'll make for good television."
"Good television... that poor kid is going to get bullied so hard."
"Hey, she insisted," he said.
Margeret shook her head, but she just kept on packing their gear away. "You could have at least told her about the blue mouth."
"Ratings Marg, ratings."
***
Give @Marchenblanc, the co-author of this piece, some hugs too!
Wanted to give a shout-out to Eli who made the bad grammar go away.
RichardWhereat
Feanor did nothing wrong.
- Location
- Australia
Blue mouth? Was she sucking on a kablooie?
- Location
- United States
Wait, so Missy had blue lips from a slushy she had before the confrontation with the Merchants? And not one person pointed it out to her? Not the cops, not Taylor? I would have expected Taylor or Jim to tell her about it before she got on camera. Nobody even made fun of her for it during that entire time?
erbkaiser
Hereditary Monarch
- Location
- Holy Roman Empire
Probably one of those fake chemical raspberry things like this: Blue Raspberry Slush Syrup 4x5Ltrs
I can understand Jim not doing so, Missy is a fan of the boys and girls in blue.
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SanguisAnima
Σ Series Z10/0 Group A 4A-GELU Mk1
- Location
- nowhere important
I see that Chad's living up to his name.
I honestly don't know what's worse, Missy being interviewed alone with a blue mouth, or having Taylor be interviewed as well with her red slushy-tinted mouth and teeth.
Yep, Taylor had a cherry one, if the red teeth were any indication.
I honestly don't know what's worse, Missy being interviewed alone with a blue mouth, or having Taylor be interviewed as well with her red slushy-tinted mouth and teeth.
We don't need to give Brockton bay nightmares.