Strength in Fragility.
Perturabo's mind turned, even as his brothers Jaghatai and Kesar laughed and told 'embarrassing stories' about each other that Perturabo didn't resist a small smile or two when fitting, because something stood out to the Olympian Primarch...Kesar had told them of the defeat of Aestos and of the Changling, of the second time he had faced their traitor brother Lorgar...but the fate of the Fateweaver, Kairos Kesar had called in, had been mysteriously absent from his telling.
Perturabo had not missed the pain that had been in Kesar's form that day, the losses his sons had taken and something more personal as well...At the time he had not been...He had not pried, but now his intellect and slowly recovering sense of empathy were telling him that now was the time to broach the subject,
"What of Kairos Kesar? We fought he and Lorgar on Cadia but when I sought to chain our...falled brother, you sought after his 'advisor' the two headed one...You forbore explanation at the time but...what happened that day?" Perturabo could see Khan giving him a mild warning glance out of the corner of his eye but the master of the Iron Blood did not care. Khan did not understand Kesar as Perturabo did, he did not share the trait of bottling up one's emotions or loss and letting them fester. True Kesar was not a bitter man...but even one as jaded as Perturabo could see that Kesar took personal blame for what happened that day, for all they had lost and it was long past time he had shared the details that he had not even granted their father. "I will not...I merely wish to...Just talk and feel better like you tell me."
'There, that was better' Perturabo thought to himself, having gotten tired of trying to be careful with his speech. These brothers at least did not dismiss him and would understand what the meant. Which was true...even if he could see Khan hiding a smirk even as Kesar took a deep breath and gave an unsteady chuckle, "Yes, I suppose I did say I would explain later, and it wouldn't be fair that Jaghatai is the only one of us that doesn't have any notion of what happened there."
Perturabo nodded slowly, and when he turned to look he could see their sibling's interests even if he hid it better than most, "I would hardly argue about hearing more of your exploits brother, especially one the Emperor previously declared off-limits for now obvious reasons." Ah yes, Perturabo was glad Kesar had brought him in enough to be told of the...things living in the glaring eye that haunted his every moment instead of being kept ignorant by the Emperor's decree. So much of what he had experienced from it for as long as the Primarch could remember made so much sense now. It was easier to push it from his mind, to ignore its now clearly malignant presence upon his self. A part of him even wondered if it had had a more deeper effect but that part merely told Perturabo to wait until Kesar was able to meet Calliphone, he could...he could trust them both. They would not be as Dammekos's thugs. They would listen...maybe.
"Very well, then I suppose it is best we start at the beginning then, when I joined you in Cadia after you had prepared for Lorgar's invasion..."Perturabo nodded and allowed his younger kin to start the story with Perturabo chiming in as needed, although the Lord of Iron still felt awkward speaking of it, although Jaghatai was a good audience. He asked no questions and merely seemed to take it all in, which Perturabo could see helped Kesar continue, as did the copious sips of coco that Kesar took...Perturabo filed away the idea that maybe his brother had an addiction to the stuff, he would need to have a biologis examine the substance in detail.
It did not long for them to reach the point when they had to part ways, and Perturabo stilled himself...this was his brother's moment. Kesar took another breath, drank his latest cup of coco down and set it to be replaced again, and then shared what had happened after they split up on Cadia. Perturabo could tell this was hard, even harder than the Battle of Three Stars. Scafir had been precious to Kesar, a loss that had scarred him enough that the Vahallan Primarch was subconsciously pushing himself to make up for not being there, for not being faster. Kesar's face grew more haggard as he related how it had felt to see his son's body so defiled, the sheer sense of bereavement that had nearly overtaken him...but then he'd had a chance to say goodbye, to have that last moment with Scafir...Perturabo decided to do what Calliphone had done for him once and reach out to lay a hand on Kesar's arm. It seemed to give Kesar strength and Perturabo felt a bit of pride as Kesar gave him an appreciative smile and detailed how he had ended the Oracle of Chaos.
The Hammer of Olympia was able to give Kesar's recital full attention and have his mind broach a subject to himself that he normally didn't consider: Would anyone feel the way Kesar did about losing Scafir about losing him? Perturabo had never had had reason to think that way before, Calliphone's love and support had been enough, even if they were still strained in their relationship. But would she or any of his sons feel the same sense of aching emptiness if Perturabo was to leave this existence...what was the legacy he had forged in the wake of his pursuit of a Utopian civilization for Mankind? What was the Emperor's legacy at that, he who had the best chance that Perturabo had seen to make those dreams a reality...such thoughts and existential introspection had not been something Perturabo normally thought on...but as Kesar finished his recounting...he resolved to try to at least continue to build his bond with his sons more as Kesar and Calliphone kept suggesting.
He had thought such bonds dross and easily broken...and they were...but for all that inherent fragility the wellspring of might that could be forged from them was greater than any machine he could devise...
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Okay, so origin of this. Mysterio of Rollz suggested writing a Negaverse of Perty's gang reacting to Kesar's side of when they split up, and that reminded me that I had had kesar tell of Aestos and the Changling, and then realized the best way to spin that little oops is that because it was more personal due to Scafir's loss, he would need encouragement to open up about it...and out of anyone, it'd be Perty who'd be able to do it, because he was there.
hope this pleases and enjoy @Daemon Hunter
