The Biggest Clusterfuck That Ever Was [KanColle X World of Warships] (Sorta kinda maybe)

So eventually I'll become an outdated useless hulk. That'll warm my crew just fine.
(This is if the abyssal mass arm their ships with ciws and things of the like.)

I wouldn't worry about it. If you strike during a massive carrier Airstrike they will be cut between shooting at your missiles and the aircraft. Then if all else fails if this is like the game you can just revert back to a standard Cleveland hull. Though that's if Nickel says we can.
 
My last contribution has been updated somewhat. ;)

Also, for reference, @NuclearNickel ? Unless you decide it's too much, I figure that Royalist's current electronics and radar/sonar suite match those of HMNZS Canterbury at the time of her decommissioning. Further improvements — hopefully including replacing the twin-5.25" turrets with twin-114mm Mk.6 turrets and the single-barrel manual-controlled Fast Forties with computer/radar-directed twin-Fast Forties guns or even DARDO mounts — can wait until when and if we get to the point of proper in-universe refits.

Of course, I have ideas for what Tenryū might gain in such a process, as much as what Royalist might. I have some back-of-the-envelope doodles that would see her replacing her 'A' and 'X' 140mm singles with dual-purpose Mk.6 turrets, with port-and-starboard Emerlec-30 turrets to replace the other two 140mm guns. The 8cm/40 aft, and the near-useless 13mm AA machine-guns (or almost-as-useless Type 96 twin-25mm mounts she picked up during WW2), could be landed to help spare the necessary weight. But that's more of an idle musing; how Tenryū might be refitted and with what is as much a matter for her and anyone else who cares to write her as it is for me. :confused:
 
Last edited:
I might have the Akatsuki sisters show up at some point while Nickel and his crew are out. Also, I've been slightly time-displaced.
 
Am I in this or is Bismarck going to end up with me shooting her or shooting me. I am going with what the standard battleships had upgraded/install after Pearl for my electronics.
 
I flinched as another lightning bolt striked my radar antenna. A strike right before we enter the storm had knock it out of commission, through it wasn't that great of a lost since I was being jammed to the point even the Mk. 38 fire control director for my main battery couldn't get a clear picture. Which was worrying since my optical fire control sucked.

"What I wouldn't give for an Agisies array."

I shot a look outside as a wave broke over my bow. I could barely see the Musashi running lights to the port side as she power through the waves. Both of our engines where redlining as we slowly moved our way through the storm.

"I hope no one shoots us by mistake. AND THERE GOES MY LONG RANGE COMMS ANTENNA, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? SO THIS WHY GRANDPA SAID THAT THE NAVY AVOIDS THESE TYPES OF STORMS LIKE THE FUCKING PLAGUE!"
<><><><><><><><><><> phone <><><><><
My grandpa was in the navy during Korea serving as an admiral's radio man and said the one time that they got caught in the storm the ship, a heavy cruiser, lost half of its electronics do to liking strikes or the wind and waves knocking shit off. Thought I do a snip about that.
 
Is there a private conversation going on for this thread? I'd like to be in the loop if there is.
 
Okay, before I start my next write up, which group is the closest to my battle group?
 
Late to the Party

Date: 2020/8/17

Time: 6:08 AM

I ran weird hours at the best of times. And while it often ran hell on my body, sometimes I'd find moment like this where those weird hours payed off. This moment? Sunrise after a fresh summer rain. I was sitting staring out the window admiring the crimson light as it bled through the last of the rain cloud. Of course, I wasn't just staring out at nothing for no reason, I was waiting for the matchmaker of the fairly popular World of Warships to drop me and my Nagato-Class battle ship into a game. I will never admit to anyone that I had stalled out on the line in favor of unlocking the Shokaku, and I never said this, your imagining things.

Had I been paying attention to the computer screen rather then the mighty rising sun, I might have noticed the lack of player data for the opposing team. But In its Glorious Incandescence, I missed the first hint that something was very very wrong. My second hint was when it all went black at the sound of the match start buzzer.

Location: Unknown

Time: Sunrise

Its hard to say what really brought me back to the world of the conscious. Between the distant rumble of boiler driven steam turbines, the hiss of Hydralics, a gentle rocking motion, or a repeated pounding in my head that went hand in hand with a clank that carried through the entire area. I frankly have to attribute my rousing to the Pounding in my head, which seemed to precede the noise by a fraction of a second or the time it takes noise to cross 100 meters plus of cold hard steel.

Yeah, going from a wooden home in a comfy chair to a cold hard steel room on a shitty cot really should be more concerning then why I hear a pounding noise of something rhythmically hitting steel. For whatever reason, the surroundings felt... Right, and it drove me to investigate the noise. So in a bit of a daze, I began to march towards the noise, feeling a little like a horror movie character all the while.

Looking back, I sorta wish I had been right with that feeling and someone had done to me what the Sealion had done to the Kongou. It would have spared me a lot of pain and suffering in the long run.

With a weird and unnerving precision I ended up making my way towards the noise, never really questioning why the bulkheads and hatches opened before and closed behind me. And as I came out from the bowels of the hull onto the deck, near what a part of me knew instinctively to be the #2 turret (of 4 which each boasted the might of 45 caliber 16 inch guns,) I found that there was a voice roaring words to go along with the constant clanging. Yelling to the tune of well...

"GET OUT HERE YOU STUPID SLEEPING NAGATO-CLASS! THEY'RE COMING FAST AND WE NEED TO RUN NOW OR WERE SUNK!"

This drew a moment of shock from me for a number of reasons. The first was why was I in the middle of the Ocean on a ship class all sunk back in the 1940's sitting next to a 3 turreted 203mm armed cruiser of the Aoba-class which had suffered a similar fate?

The second had to be why was a Brunette with her hair done up in a pig tail wearing a sailor fuka top and shorts kicking My bow/head/prow the bow of the Nagato from the bow of the Aoba.

And third went to how I understood Japanese and could speak it rather fluently.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING STUPID YOU UNDER GUNNED HEAVY CRUISER! AND WHO ARE WE RUNNING FROM!"

My rather snide and carefully aimed jab was ignored as the girl proceeded to break everything I knew about physics to go from roughly 70 meters away to a third of a meter in all of about 1 second while bridging some 15 meters in height differences.

"Alright, listen," Her tone was relaxed, but the way she kept scanning the horizon betrayed that. "There's a group of 4 abysul Standard type battleships steaming this way with full escorts at about 15 knots." US standard type battleships where slow but had armor as thick as their guns where large. Which was a very bad thing, and despite my dawning realization of horror, she continued unabated. "They are about half an hour out, but we're a day and a half from the nearest friendly port and 2 hours the nearest allied force. We need to get moving very soon. However, before that, congratulations. Your now the bounded soul of a Nagato-class Battleship, name pending."

"But I'm not a Nagamo-" My interruption was quashed with out mercy with barely a hand gesture before the girl steamed ahead.

"This ship is you, you are this ship. Once you get to the bridge things are gonna make a fair bit more sense, but until then, Set engines to full and follow me. WE NEED TO GO NOW." As the lass rounded up her little spiel, she then jumped to the now underway Aoba's aft before firing off one last remark. "Follow this Shapely Aft like I do a Juicy story!"

And that's how I found myself following Aoba in all her steely glory in a daze aboard a Nagato while heading to the bridge.


AN:900 words is good enough for a break for now. More to come once I've had some sleep I think. And a question to whoever reads enough of this to reach the AN, does the pseudo journal style fit well? Can you tell that I might be using an Unreliable Narrator already? Is it decent to maybe even good quality despite the headache and fever I'm running right now?
 
Last edited:
Late to the Party

Date: 2020/8/17

Time: 6:08 AM

I ran weird hours at the best of times. And while it often ran hell on my body, sometimes I'd find moment like this where those weird hours payed off. This moment? Sunrise after a fresh summer rain. I was sitting staring out the window admiring the crimson light as it bled through the last of the rain cloud. Of course, I wasn't just staring out at nothing for no reason, I was waiting for the matchmaker of the fairly popular World of Warships to drop me and my Nagato-Class battle ship into a game. I will never admit to anyone that I had stalled out on the line in favor of unlocking the Shokaku, and I never said this, your imagining things.

Had I been paying attention to the computer screen rather then the mighty rising sun, I might have noticed the lack of player data for the opposing team. But In its Glorious Incandescence, I missed the first hint that something was very very wrong. My second hint was when it all went black at the sound of the match start buzzer.

Location: Unknown

Time: Sunrise

Its hard to say what really brought me back to the world of the conscious. Between the distant rumble of boiler driven steam turbines, the hiss of Hydralics, a gentle rocking motion, or a repeated pounding in my head that went hand in hand with a clank that carried through the entire area. I frankly have to attribute my rousing to the Pounding in my head, which seemed to precede the noise by a fraction of a second or the time it takes noise to cross 100 meters plus of cold hard steel.

Yeah, going from a wooden home in a comfy chair to a cold hard steel room on a shitty cot really should be more concerning then why I hear a pounding noise of something rhythmically hitting steel. For whatever reason, the surroundings felt... Right, and it drove me to investigate the noise. So in a bit of a daze, I began to march towards the noise, feeling a little like a horror movie character all the while.

Looking back, I sorta wish I had been right with that feeling and someone had done to me what the Sealion had done to the Kongou. It would have spared me a lot of pain and suffering in the long run.

With a weird and unnerving precision I ended up making my way towards the noise, never really questioning why the bulkheads and hatches opened before and closed behind me. And as I came out from the bowels of the hull onto the deck, near what a part of me knew instinctively to be the #2 turret (of 4 which each boasted the might of 45 caliber 16 inch guns,) I found that there was a voice roaring words to go along with the constant clanging. Yelling to the tune of well...

"GET OUT HERE YOU STUPID SLEEPING NAGATO-CLASS! THEY'RE COMING FAST AND WE NEED TO RUN NOW OR WERE SUNK!"

This drew a moment of shock from me for a number of reasons. The first was why was I in the middle of the Ocean on a ship class all sunk back in the 1940's sitting next to a 3 turreted 203mm armed cruiser of the Aoba-class which had suffered a similar fate?

The second had to be why was a Brunette with her hair done up in a pig tail wearing a sailor fuka top and shorts kicking My bow/head/prow the bow of the Nagato from the bow of the Aoba.

And third went to how I understood Japanese and could speak it rather fluently.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING STUPID YOU UNDER GUNNED HEAVY CRUISER! AND WHO ARE WE RUNNING FROM!"

My rather snide and carefully aimed jab was ignored as the girl proceeded to break everything I knew about physics to go from roughly 70 meters away to a third of a meter in all of about 1 second while bridging some 15 meters in height differences.

"Alright, listen," Her tone was relaxed, but the way she kept scanning the horizon betrayed that. "There's a group of 4 abysul Standard type battleships steaming this way with full escorts at about 15 knots." US standard type battleships where slow but had armor as thick as their guns where large. Which was a very bad thing, and despite my dawning realization of horror, she continued unabated. "They are about half an hour out, but we're a day and a half from the nearest friendly port and 2 hours the nearest allied force. We need to get moving very soon. However, before that, congratulations. Your now the bounded soul of a Nagato-class Battleship, name pending."

"But I'm not a Nagamo-" My interruption was quashed with out mercy with barely a hand gesture before the girl steamed ahead.

"This ship is you, you are this ship. Once you get to the bridge things are gonna make a fair bit more sense, but until then, Set engines to full and follow me. WE NEED TO GO NOW." As the lass rounded up her little spiel, she then jumped to the now underway Aoba's aft before firing off one last remark. "Follow this Shapely Aft like I do a Juicy story!"

And that's how I found myself following Aoba in all her steely glory in a daze aboard a Nagato while heading to the bridge.


AN:900 words is good enough for a break for now. More to come once I've had some sleep I think. And a question to whoever reads enough of this to reach the AN, does the pseudo journal style fit well? Can you tell that I might be using an Unreliable Narrator already? Is it decent to maybe even good quality despite the headache and fever I'm running right now?
Da real question is what battle group your near. Depending on the one you run into you just left the fire and went into the frying pan XD.
 
AN:900 words is good enough for a break for now. More to come once I've had some sleep I think. And a question to whoever reads enough of this to reach the AN, does the pseudo journal style fit well? Can you tell that I might be using an Unreliable Narrator already? Is it decent to maybe even good quality despite the headache and fever I'm running right now?
You must become Kyon, good anon.
And I'm trying to write The Suffering of Alphonse Schmitt as a sort of pseudo-journal as well. Because it would allow me to use Purple ProseTM​ without trying to explain why I think in such flowery and overbearing tones.
Which, I might have to admit, I do so in real life.
 
I watched the light cruiser break into pieces from the distance barrage fire, chunks of blackened steel on fire flew in every direction, showering it's subordinates with what remained of it's now airborne hull. My own guns didn't quite have the range on them, but my RN Avengers had closed to contact, and were preparing for a run. Two narrow spreads and on wide spread were launched into the little group of tin cans, forcing them to break formation and causing one to run right smack bang into three of the torps. It mustn't have been a very powerful vessel as it broke into three pieces and caused a geyser of fire and steel to fly up, which was probably a detonated magazine. The Destroyers had closed to about 19 Kilometers now, just outside of my secondary range. Their little peashooter main guns, which weren't very powerful at all, opened up at me in blind fire as they attempted to close the distance so they could utilize their main source of fire power: torpedoes.

My secondaries blazed away as soon as they entered range.

A hail of 4.5in shells rained down on the two vessels, penetrating and actually dealing some pretty nasty damage from what little I could see. They never got the chance to close in as my last wing of torpedo bombers made their final pass, loosing a wide spread to cut them off no matter how they turned. The torps and guns found their mark, finishing the two smaller vessels off. My only explanation is that they were Samson-class Destroyers with paper armor and weak guns, no real match for a proper armored carrier.

If they would have gotten close, however.....

Nah, I'd rather not think about that.

"Thanks for the assist, the light cruiser could've been an issue. I'll rally with you when I can. Sanctum out." I thanked the two warships who I had been in contact with earlier. I held my position, recalling my planes and preparing some other flights just in case more came out.

I had a feeling they would.
 
Considering how big a battle fighting that monster should be I might as well join in.

----

'It just figures.'
I thought as I steamed at full speed after Tenryuu towards the massive brawl that was going on within the freaky storm cloud/fog. Whatever it was she recognized it and it wasn't good. Considering the moment the radio calls started and the cloud came into view, she hit the afterburners like somebody had replaced half her fuel with nitro. As it was I was barely keeping up with her as we barreled into the cloud.

That's when my radar and optics finally started seeing the guy's ships and some of the [FOG] along with something big.....very big....that looked like something H. R. Giger and Lovecraft would have co-designed while drunk and high as kites. The thing looked like it ate battleships for breakfast and used destroyers as toothpicks!

'First time I meet these maniacs I'm hauled into a game ~4 tiers higher than my ship. Now I'm in a battle against something that looks like it could take on an entire line up of Montana Battleships.'

Considering that everyone and everything seemed to be shooting it while it shot back I figured it was safe to join the bandwagon. That's when I noticed a nice new addition to my new 'body'. A fire control computer that was tied into my radar and optics, no more having to guesstimate turret directions and elevation just select the target, tweak based on where I want to hit and open up.

Though while the various HE and AP shots from everyone were blowing chunks of flesh? metal? 'dafuckifIknow' off the critters body it didn't seem very worried. More annoyed that these little pests weren't dying like they were supposed to. That's when it pulled a new trick: in a sick sick cross of a tooth pushing through gums and an exploding pustule a rather large torpedo rack start pushing it's way up through the 'deck'.

'Looks like two sets of two overlapping independently controlled racks. Two tubes for each rack, four, eight, thirteen-Holyshitthat'salotoftorpedoes!'

Even as I started spamming radio warnings to anyone who might not have seen this supreme amount of dakka readying itself I knew I had to do something. Not even destroyers would be able to dodge this readying Macross Missile Massacre and I would never be able to get clear. Ergo I had to do something really, really stupid if anyone on the starboard side of this monster was going to live. I frantically and figuratively grabbed and twisted my firing computer's arm until it coughed up the numbers I needed. At that my two front turrets began swinging in different directions.

[Tenryuu]: T, the hell are you going, get the hell out of there!
[Trantos1_0]: Wrong heading and I'm too big to get out the way. If this doesn't work, see you guys on the other side. I'll buy the beer.
[South Dakota]: What is he aiming at the- Oh Hell, everybody brace!

My turrets spoke and out flew six HE shells in two groups of three, sailing towards the beast. It didn't even react to the attack and why should it? What could six little HE shells from a tiny cruiser that was going to be blown apart in the next ten seconds by a massive torpedo spread do to it's mighty form? That would have been true if I had been aiming at the hull, superstructure or even the turrets. But what my shells actually hit were the massive torpedo racks that had just finished forming.

The flash was like looking directly into the sun and the shockwave pushed me to nearly a 45 degree list. I was honestly surprised I didn't capsize as every destroyer in range started cursing me in at least four different languages.

[SAMMY B. Roberts]: -he everloving f**k was that T?!?
[Enterprise]: I'd say anywhere from 60 to 100 Type 93 Long Lance torpedoes all going off at once since a joker droped HE shells into them.
[TheBleachDoctor] Holy hell look at that hole! I could drive a destroyer through that thing. How in the name of God is that bitch's keel still intact?

And the Doc was right. The thing was still alive despite the damage and very pissed off considering the sheer number of 406 millimeter guns turning to aim at me. The last time I'd stared down that much dakka, three different broadside on Wyoming's had all decided I looked like a prime target.

Time to go!
 
Last edited:
I was about to fire another salvo when a massive explosion rocked the abomination of a ship. The shock wave nearly threw me and Lois off our ships. However, whatever had caused that blast had nearly blown the damn thing's keel completely off.

"What the hell!" I shouted.

"Looks like our back up is finally here!" Midway transmitted.

"Thank fucking God!" Lois said.

"Atago, Takao," I transmitted to the two heavy cruisers, "I need you two to go and cover Midway. Hurry, while it's distracted!"

The heavy cruisers acknowledged the order and retreated to Midway's position.

"What I wouldn't give for a Star Destroyer right now..." I grumbled.

"What was that Mike? Lois asked.

"I wish we had more DAKKA!"

"Wait! I have an idea!"

"What ever it is, I'm all ears!"

"Remember the Katie shells?"

"The nuclear ones!?"

"Yep!"

"Do it!"
 
Last edited:
"Where are they?" I growled out as I look thru the several fire directors. "You see anything Musashi?"

A second sun appeared to our ports sides about five thousand meters out. The shock wave feeling as if someone hit my hull with a telephone pole.

"Yes, I do. I think something is going one to our port. Should we turn?"

"No need." I said as my Mk 38 found the target and set the data to all four main turrets and the five dual purpose. "FOURTEEN ON THE WAY!" I shout into the newly repaired radio, as eight 16 inch and ten 5 inch shells thunder down range.

"NINE ON THE WAY!" came Musashi response, as her eighteen inches thunder and spat death.
 
During my mad dash to get to Montana's battle group my radar picked up a few destroyers and cruisers off to port around 16 Kilometers off. Immediately my main battery turned to engage the strike force. As the guns turned I turned to face my bow to them to minimize my silhouette. It seemed like they were sneaking up on Montana's battle group.

Not on my fucking watch.

The 6 Inch guns that served me so well on my Eerie, Chester, St Louis, Phoenix,Omaha and now the Cleveland barked once again against my foes. With help from the first rate radar purchased with Uncle Sam's debt ridden pockets the shells flew fast with deadly accuracy. All 6 shots hit on of the destroyers and it looked like I hit its torpedoes since it cooked off like a motherfucking christmas tree. Their comrade's death alerted them to my location. Pfft, not like I gave shit. I shifted my ship starboard when I neared around 10 KM off so I didn't eat a spread of torpedoes from their DDs. This, unfortunately, gave the enemy a bigger target and a 90 degree surface to shoot. One of their cruiser's guns fired their guns off and at that range my armor wasn't gonna save me.

The blast rocked the whole ship and I fell down face first into the floor. Groaning I got back up, pain flaring in my stomach.

Then I heard the screams. Oh god the screams. I could hear them reverberating in my hull, cries of the wounded and dying.

"...son, SON!" I look next to me and I see the Captain shaking me.

"Yes skipper?" I moan as pain rackets my body.

"Get your head in the game their shooting at us!"

I return my HUD view and indeed there is another salvo coming at me. Fortunately they missed, but then I took a look at how my hull was holding up. I took what looks to be 3 8 inch shells in the middle of my ship in which 1 got into my boiler room. I look at the enemy fleet and I see the cruiser that shot at me. That bitch was gonna die.

"Skipper do we have a lock on that Aoba-class over there!"I cry out.

"Yes we do." he calls back.

A feral grin appears on my face and I select my other weapon. The Rim-8 Talos missile. A missile designed for anti-air purposes, but with the potential to smack the ever-living shit out of any ship it is launched it this baby is death incarnate. If it wasn't for the cost of resupplying one.

I push the BIG RED BUTTON and I see the missiles streak out to around 50000 feet when the booster falls off. The missiles then follow my SPW-2 guidance beam on that asshole.

He never stood a chance.

One streaked into his forward turrets and penetrated deep into the ammunition rooms. The other one streaked into boiler room. Both blew up with a holy hell fire that would make a Montana look at awe. Too bad my wallet cried as it did so.

The crew shouts out in excitement and the battle continues.

---

Meanwhile on other parts of the ocean... (this is your part guys.)
 


<This is the USS Gipsy Danger to all friendly ships. We will be firing a nuclear shell at the target in 20 seconds. Repeat, this is the USS Gipsy Danger to all friendly ships, We will be using nuclear ammunition on the target ship in 20 seconds.>

I will my ship to turn broadside to The Beast, and fired all of my guns into the massive breach in the thing's hull. Only to piss it off even more. An unearthly screech sounded from the massive ship as it turned every turret and gun it could at my ship, at me.

"W19 shell loaded!" Lois announced over the open radio channel.

"FIRE!"

The center gun of Lousiana's forward turret barked and spat the W19 Nuclear Shell at the destroyer sized hole in The Beast's hull. I looked away at the last second, and the scream that emanated from it almost drowned out the roar of the nuclear explosion. Almost. Then the shock wave hit me, and I was launched over the railing, and into the black sea. I could faintly hear Lois screaming my name as I sank towards the bottom.
 
"Holy shit!"

"T-That was a nuclear-tipped shell..."

"Fuck," I swore, my RADAR and LIDAR scrambling spectacularly from the massive explosion of radiation emanating from the blast.

"My GFCS is scrambled, Al."

"Mine too." I let loose another curse as the blast wave hit the two of us, rattling our warships like leaves in the wind. We rode the swells, sailing in between the troughs as they were created. As the waves died down, I tried raising my sensors again.

No joy. "Erika, can you try your sensors?"

"Trying... the EMP blast has come and gone now. Trying to re-establish communications with friendly vessels."

While she was off trying to get the communications back online with the remaining vessels, I tried to spot the gargantuan with my own two eyes. Other than a few glimpses of a black and grey super battleship illuminated by the thunder and lightning still hammering the sea, I couldn't find it.
 
Back
Top