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=\\TACTICAL WAIFUS QUEST//=

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[X] Renovate water system.

[X]Stop for food on your clothes shopping trip with Riley and Shelby.

[X] The swimsuits are, technically, in uniform. Next time, though, specify that the girls should shower, have a nap, and put on a clean duty uniform for reports.

Well, this will certainly be...interesting. Followed

Also, I can't help but wonder how poor Ryan will fair when it's...that time of the month.

And no, I'm not talking about werewolves. Do the scientists have werewolf waifus in the next batch?
 
PewPewBangBang said:
Well, this will certainly be...interesting. Followed

Also, I can't help but wonder how poor Ryan will fair when it's...that time of the month.

And no, I'm not talking about werewolves. Do the scientists have werewolf waifus in the next batch?
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WORSE.



THEY MADE A WISH TO THE FUZZY WHITE CREATURE AT LOCKMART.



AND THEN, BECAUSE ANGRY RADAR STEALTH WAIFUS AREN'T BAD ENOUGH, THEY DOUBLED DOWN AND TRIED TO MAKE DOUBLE KRUPP WEAPON.



ColdGoldLazarus said:
Well if you're asking, I don't really see the appeal, myself.
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Everything in moderation helps, and balance is important.
 
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Icywinter said:
Actually I have this distinct feeling (from conversations with theJMPr on Discord) that this entire quest has now turned into a "Bully the Winter" quest.
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ColdGoldLazarus said:
Actually, I'm more of a chest person myself. I was just observing that @theJMPer seems to have a rather intense fascination with hips and rears. XD
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Mostly because every time Riley does something cute, it makes winter go all O///////O. Which is funny.
 
@theJMPer Considering the dificulty in putting planes above our heads, I present you a very informative and informal treastie on the fine art of REMOVE IADS by everyone's favorite shitposter, Demetrious himself.

Let's Play (The Fool) CMANO: Saga of the SHARKNADO

Sections of note are Putting the "Warfare" in Information Warfare, FISHAY FISHAY [INSERT F-35 INTO LOCKER], THE SHARKNADO COMETH, BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER SU-KHOI SU-KHOI, and Subliminal Massacring


Our role in something this big and complicated would be to hop in a nifty-yet-also-bullshit gadget (like the paratrooper option for a B2 Spirit as concieved of by John Ringo) go to the Sprately Islands via paradrop from said B2, knock out the radars for the IADS, and then go to ground like the IJA garrison on Iwo Jima while Lightnings and/or Superbugs paste the rest of the now-useless missile launchers and we get picked up via chopper at the end.
 
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Part 20: The Elder Gods
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    • =\\TACTICAL WAIFU QUEST//=
    Part 20: The Elder Gods    ​

    After a few moment's consideration, you decide to get your girls some hot water for once. The bunks might be a little spartan, it's easier to fix that with foam and pillows than it is to get the water working. And let's face it, cold showers and freezing baths are miserable, and you just know Riley and Annabelle will be swimming even if there's literal ice chunks float around.

    Your girls worked hard, all of them. They deserve some hot water to come back to. And, unless you suddenly have a tank you need to penetrate—you don't need to see them that cold.

    With the funds Thomas kicked your way, you're able to get a black contractor up to fix the system. It's surprisingly harder than you'd think to find plumbers with security clearance to even know your girls exist, but JSOC has one on file. They also have a masseuse with a security clearance even higher than yours, which is… weird. But that's neither here nor there.

    Content that at least one problem's been taken care of, you haul yourself to your feet and go to check on your girls. While you appreciated Shelby reporting to you right after the mission, she really didn't have to act so quickly. There would've been enough time to change out of her swimsuit into… literally anything else.

    You mutter a brief word of thanks that it wasn't Marie giving the briefing. Or Riley. Even if you didn't die of bloodloss, you wouldn't have heard a word either of them said. Damn pink-aura.

    "Oh, Major?" Speak of the devil, Marie bounced down the hall the moment you stepped from your office. She'd at least changed out of her fatigues and into her garrison uniform. Which would mean something if her garrison uniform wasn't a microskirt, knee-socks, and a gray shirt puckering so tightly at the buttons you swore it was instants from exploding.

    "Marie," you smiled as she flowed to a stop. Marie always seemed to flow everywere, like she was walking though water. Her chest did one last bounce as she brought her heels together, and then time finally snapped back to it's proper advance. "What's up?"

    "I heard you were going shopping?" She clasped her hands behind her back, arching her chest out just in case you were somehow unaware of her healthy sweater puppies, and smiled sweetly.

    "Uh," puppies was not the correct term. Those were full-grown hounds straining at their chains, eager to burst from their kennels and maul you. Only… all soft-like. "Yeah?"

    "Mind if I tag along?" she asked. "It's…" she sighed, and glanced down at herself like she was just now realizing she wasn't as flat as all the other girls, "not easy finding things that fit?"

    You start mentally listing off the designations and NATO-codenames of every soviet SAM you know, just to keep the image of Marie doing things in a changing room from entering your mind. It doesn't really work, as the resulting image could be described as a sexy car calendar, but with missiles. And Marie wearing an Ushanka, for some inexplicable reason.

    "Especially bras," added Marie.

    Whelp, she made it worse.

    "Nobody else…" Marie was either totally oblivious to the effect she was having on you, or you should never ever play poker with her. "You know…" she patted her chest, "They don't know how to do it, even if I gave them my measurements."

    You felt your nails bite into your palm as you try to think of literally anything else. It takes you a good ten minutes to realize Marie's smirking at you. "Yes?"

    "Don't you want to know my measurements?" she cooed.

    "NO!" you bark out.

    She looks a little hurt, but her smile's back in an instant.

    "Uh…" you scowled. "Yeah, you can come."

    "Yay!" She bounced up on her feet, her shirt somehow not tearing apart as her chest did exactly what you would imagine it would. She quickly gave you a soft, squishy hug and darted back to her quarters.

    You sighed, those ASUs could not come soon enough. If you have to look at one more microskirted ass—

    "Boss?" Riley ducked around the corner with her multicam thigh-highs settled just so.

    Okay, two more microskirted asses.

    "I heard you're taking Marie shopping?" She swished her hips nervously, her little skirt flaring out more than its minute length would suggest was possible.

    "Yes," you sighed. "And yes, I was going to take you and Shelby."

    "Shelby?" Riley puffed out her cheeks and humpfed. "What for?"

    "Want each squad leader buying things for their girls," you said. "Figure you'd know their stiles."

    "Yeah…" Riley's cheeks go a little red, "If Marie's…. uh…"

    "She'll be getting her own stuff," you have the urge to tousle Riley's rusty red hair. An urge you give into because her hair's really soft. You momentarily wonder what it would be like to cuddle her, but that thought's instantly pushed to the back of your mind where it'll hopefully be forgotten in the bureaucratic chaos like the Ark of the Covenant.

    "Oh, good." Riley giggled, and leaned in to let you scratch around her ears. "I don't…" she cradled her own chest, "Bra. Not really."

    "Everyone's gotta have a specialty," you said. "Wheels up in ten, meet me by the truck."

    "Okay!" Riley perked up, and darted back to her room for… something.

    This wasn't going to bite you in the ass. Totally not.

    - - - -
    Roll 3d20.
     
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    • 'ere we go 'ere we go 'ere we go



    EDIT: I really really hope this is a best of three, because we seem to have adopted /tg/ dice today.
    7734 threw 3 20-faced dice. Reason: catastrophy Total: 41
    15 15 15 15 11 11
     
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    It's "funniest of what we get."

    And when rolling for how much trouble the girls get into, you can assume that'll be the lowest.
     
    @Zoosmell Well then, thanks for providing today's comedy segment. Excuse me while I get out my box of grid squares and jars of blinker fluid.
     
    This is getting more weird with every chapter, but... that does not have to be a bad thing, I think.
    Naron threw 3 20-faced dice. Reason: World's End Total: 29
    1 1 14 14 14 14
     
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