Song in the Fog: Da Capo (Ar Tonelico, Metroid AU, Arpeggio of Blue Steel)
- Thread starter Einsig
- Start date
Mandabar
Waifu of choice is Rem. Give that girl some hugs!
- Location
- Florida, USA [Yes. Florida *FacePalm*]
Intelligent sounding board is also a good thing.
- Location
- EXA_PICO
- Pronouns
- He/Him
So, I'll give a basic idea of what's going to happen.
All of Samus's parts so far are being cut and moved. Everything with Hana and Shu-Qi will be one contiguous arc, ending with their meeting as of the last chapter.
Samus will then have an entire arc of her own. It will be longer, more involved, with a much better setup. Most of the stuff we've already written will be retained, but get an editing pass to make it fit what will come before it.
Most importantly, Samus will actually do things. As opposed to just show up, have a conversation and then walk into a desert.
All of Samus's parts so far are being cut and moved. Everything with Hana and Shu-Qi will be one contiguous arc, ending with their meeting as of the last chapter.
Samus will then have an entire arc of her own. It will be longer, more involved, with a much better setup. Most of the stuff we've already written will be retained, but get an editing pass to make it fit what will come before it.
Most importantly, Samus will actually do things. As opposed to just show up, have a conversation and then walk into a desert.
Yeah, so Samus will be scan-visor checking everything for intel and secrets. She'll then head over in a beeline to where there's some hidden powerup for that +5 missile cap.
I've been playing a bit of Prime lately...
Sounds interesting. Uh, did you tell us the timeframe this was taking place in because I did a quick look and didn't find anything, and I can't quite remember if it was discussed at all. (And by quick search, I used control+F "timeline" on most of the pages). Or is the timeline/timeframe spoilers?
Highwind
To Rise From The Ashes
- Location
- Brazil
Yeah, that sounds like it'll be much better to read in the long run, actually.
Will there will be Hnnng-inducing Hana and Long-Suffering Shu-Qi interludes in between the Serious Samus chapters?
- Location
- EXA_PICO
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Sparingly. I want to keep that plot thread going until it meets with Samus', but I don't want to have too many interruptions.
Black Noise
Curious
- Location
- About 1AU from Sol
I was worried about your reluctance leading to another reboot, but that is actually a sound plan and it addresses issues that I only realize in retrospect once they've been pointed out.
Truly, you are blessed with friends that can offer constructive criticism, the patience to follow through and improve your craft and creation, and a coauthor willing to help in many ways.
- Location
- EXA_PICO
- Pronouns
- He/Him
To be honest with you, the reason I got so upset over this is because I feel there has been a real lack of any constructive feedback on this story. I appreciate you guys being here, I just wish you would try to look at things with a more critical eye and help me catch things before they get too far.
I'm actually lucky to have caught this problem at all before Samus' arc intersected with Hana's and I would have had to retcon way more stuff.
- Location
- Maybe?
Personally speaking: I've never played Metroid or Ar Tonelico. My interests include physics fuckery, science and people being cute, though, so I tend to be less interested in "where the story is going" and more in the actual process. So I guess I'd tend to miss structural problems because the developing narrative isn't really the thing that I enjoy the most of this fic. Again, just speaking for myself.
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Sounds like you'd get a kick out of the setting materials books of Ar Tonelico. The Wave Science sections of those things read like an Engineering or Physics textbook.
Well Baughn at times has a surprising amount of access anyway, so I guess we'll have to see how it pans out.
Hopefully, hopefully they're making a new Metroid for the NX and we just haven't heard about it because...it's the NX.
- Location
- EXA_PICO
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Oh they're making a new Metroid, we know that.
It's just a kiddy 3DS multiplayer shooter that has absolutely nothing to do with Samus or the core gameplay of non-linear exploration that the franchise is defined by.
That doesn't count, and you know it.
If yer needing a 2D retro metroid fix, you can't go wrong with Project AM2R - Another Metroid 2 Remake. It just updated to a 'release' version and is a ton of fun.
- Location
- EXA_PICO
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Oh man, I totally forgot about that project. Heard of it months ago and let it slip off my radar.
Edit: Figuring out the keybindings was a little annoying, but I got it workable. Had to take apart my USB Super Nintendo pad to clean the silicone under the D-Pad. Damn thing was sticking bad.
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- Location
- EXA_PICO
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I had a few weeks where I was extremely depressed, but I'm slowly dragging myself back into writing. After a very long wait, I do have a little bit of something to show for this downtime.
Chapter 2 got a little bit of revision, which... honestly, just read it. You're probably going to cry a little more than you did the first time. I'm trying to inject more "show" into the story, because I feel there is a severe lack of it.
Chapter 2 got a little bit of revision, which... honestly, just read it. You're probably going to cry a little more than you did the first time. I'm trying to inject more "show" into the story, because I feel there is a severe lack of it.
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Are the revisions throughout chapter 2, or concentrated in a certain portion of it?
- Location
- EXA_PICO
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It's mostly the opening scene.
There is also this particular part.
This moment hurts me a lot more to see it acted out than told...
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- Location
- EXA_PICO
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Well, this is extremely overdue.
Warning, it's after 2 A.M. as I begin writing this, so I am maybe not in the best state of mind. I'm also a weirdo, but you all are probably used to this by now.
First, real life stuff. For the last several months I've been in a pretty terrible state of depression. Having skipped a season of classes and being extremely unsatisfied with how I'm doing in college, I find myself increasingly frustrated and unhappy about not having a job. With my brother currently unemployed and on medication due to PTSD and bipolar disorder, I feel like being a full time student is not an option anymore.
Especially because my house is probably going to collapse in a matter of months. The recent hurricane only accelerated its decay with several severe leaks, leading to the ceiling busting open in my mother's room and flooding it. There is now a three foot section of insulation hanging from the hole in the ceiling, and my mother has to sleep on the couch in the adjacent living room.
My family needs a new house, or else me, mom and older brother are all going to be moving in with grandma. Last week me and big bro spent several hours a day on the roof trying to fill and patch the cracks and bad shingles, and at this point the leaking has stopped. I don't believe it will last a year.
Okay, now for things important to the story.
What I decided to do with the Samus arc very nearly did kill it. To be really honest, the Metroid component of the crossover has recently felt like a waste to me. Like I've simply not written it to the same standard as the EXA_PICO half of it, and made it into just a window dressing with little real value. It's just a convenient backdrop with conveniently parallel plot elements to allow Hana's story to happen, and I wonder if I could have done the same thing better without it. That's why I wanted to do the Samus arc, to expand on the Metroid part of the story and make it more engaging and alive. I would say this was fueled in large part by regret.
But I realized my perfectionism wouldn't allow me to write a Samus-focused arc that didn't meet some impossibly high standard. I got kind of obsessed with achieving a goal I couldn't even clearly define, so the arc ground to a halt before it even got out of the gate.
I still want to do it and I'm unwilling to give up on it completely, but I don't think I'm ready for it yet. I need to think about it more.
For now, the story is going to continue to focus on Hana's arc.
I have enough done to put out a medium-ish chapter right now. I'll probably post it in the morning after I've talked with Baughn some. I was going to make it at least twice as long but I'm tired of not updating. I need to get out of this hole. Every day I don't publish a new chapter, I get more frustrated and writing gets harder.
We've nearly completed an overhaul of the first half of chapter 1. The first chapter has always felt like a terrible introduction for this story, and I think it actively discourages new readers who didn't come here from the previous version. You may disagree, but to me it's terrible and it needed to be fixed. That will also be uptomorrow as soon as we finish another edit pass.
One last thing. You may notice I have a new avatar. Say hello, Hana!
I'm gonna go pass out now.
Warning, it's after 2 A.M. as I begin writing this, so I am maybe not in the best state of mind. I'm also a weirdo, but you all are probably used to this by now.
First, real life stuff. For the last several months I've been in a pretty terrible state of depression. Having skipped a season of classes and being extremely unsatisfied with how I'm doing in college, I find myself increasingly frustrated and unhappy about not having a job. With my brother currently unemployed and on medication due to PTSD and bipolar disorder, I feel like being a full time student is not an option anymore.
Especially because my house is probably going to collapse in a matter of months. The recent hurricane only accelerated its decay with several severe leaks, leading to the ceiling busting open in my mother's room and flooding it. There is now a three foot section of insulation hanging from the hole in the ceiling, and my mother has to sleep on the couch in the adjacent living room.
My family needs a new house, or else me, mom and older brother are all going to be moving in with grandma. Last week me and big bro spent several hours a day on the roof trying to fill and patch the cracks and bad shingles, and at this point the leaking has stopped. I don't believe it will last a year.
Okay, now for things important to the story.
What I decided to do with the Samus arc very nearly did kill it. To be really honest, the Metroid component of the crossover has recently felt like a waste to me. Like I've simply not written it to the same standard as the EXA_PICO half of it, and made it into just a window dressing with little real value. It's just a convenient backdrop with conveniently parallel plot elements to allow Hana's story to happen, and I wonder if I could have done the same thing better without it. That's why I wanted to do the Samus arc, to expand on the Metroid part of the story and make it more engaging and alive. I would say this was fueled in large part by regret.
But I realized my perfectionism wouldn't allow me to write a Samus-focused arc that didn't meet some impossibly high standard. I got kind of obsessed with achieving a goal I couldn't even clearly define, so the arc ground to a halt before it even got out of the gate.
I still want to do it and I'm unwilling to give up on it completely, but I don't think I'm ready for it yet. I need to think about it more.
For now, the story is going to continue to focus on Hana's arc.
I have enough done to put out a medium-ish chapter right now. I'll probably post it in the morning after I've talked with Baughn some. I was going to make it at least twice as long but I'm tired of not updating. I need to get out of this hole. Every day I don't publish a new chapter, I get more frustrated and writing gets harder.
We've nearly completed an overhaul of the first half of chapter 1. The first chapter has always felt like a terrible introduction for this story, and I think it actively discourages new readers who didn't come here from the previous version. You may disagree, but to me it's terrible and it needed to be fixed. That will also be up
One last thing. You may notice I have a new avatar. Say hello, Hana!
I'm gonna go pass out now.
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- Location
- Over the hill and far away
Good luck with everything. Don't know what to say regarding the depression, as this sort of thing always winds up with piles of unsolicited advice, so, uh... talk to your doctor. There's mine.
Wife's been a lot happier since we started getting her proper help and it really emphasized to both of us how important that is.
It sucks, it's hard to deal with, and seems like it takes forever but, yeah, we'll still be here, so, y'know.
Anyway- as always I'm very interested in seeing more Hana or anything else you write, so as always, thanks for sharing the story with us.
Wife's been a lot happier since we started getting her proper help and it really emphasized to both of us how important that is.
It sucks, it's hard to deal with, and seems like it takes forever but, yeah, we'll still be here, so, y'know.
Anyway- as always I'm very interested in seeing more Hana or anything else you write, so as always, thanks for sharing the story with us.