Yay Hana! Go Hana! Find your ship! Grow! Explore! And make adorable glass castles in the sand :D

Samus rocks the BAMF, as always.
 
Adorable Hana playing around and making sandcastles almost makes up for her sad thoughts in the earlier scene. Almost. :(

Mir really needs to choose what lullabies she sings to her children more carefully. Unless she planned for Hana to understand the true meaning of the story when she got older. It wouldn't surprise me if she did.

Making the stories read like the Feelings contained in a Hymmn was a really nice touch, by the way.

And I'm really curious about what exactly te Phazon was saying/singing there. A quick scan of the Lexicon on the wiki didn't return anything, but it was a very quik scan and to make matters worse I'm on a phone, so its even harder to search for anythin. I'll have another look later.
 
And I'm really curious about what exactly te Phazon was saying/singing there. A quick scan of the Lexicon on the wiki didn't return anything, but it was a very quik scan and to make matters worse I'm on a phone, so its even harder to search for anythin. I'll have another look later.

It's gibberish. Neither Baughn nor I can read or write Ar Ciela. Not that it would really help, since in-story that wouldn't even be Ar Ciela. It's a Will from another planet that's somewhat distantly related to Ar Ciel and Ra Ciela, and the language would be different.

Knowing @aquagon he would probably help us make a derivative planet language to use, but that would take away time he uses for all the other translations and projects he does.
 
Adorable Hana playing around and making sandcastles almost makes up for her sad thoughts in the earlier scene. Almost. :(

Mir really needs to choose what lullabies she sings to her children more carefully. Unless she planned for Hana to understand the true meaning of the story when she got older. It wouldn't surprise me if she did.
Hana still, as always, refuses to be fully happy. That's to be expected, given her situation, but it also doesn't make me happy. Or Einsig. On the bright side, she's found people now, so that's got to be good... right? It's good, right?

As for Mir, her intention was that Hana would eventually figure it out, ideally while she was telling it, but Hana was never very far away from her parents or sister. Worst case she'd have had half an hour or so to agonise over it while walking home from a hike in the local forest. (That is to say, Mikry, although it isn't the same Mikry as from AT2; they named one of the forests on Metafalica after it.)

It was a riddle. Hana figuring it out was a sign that she'd matured enough that she could handle learning a little more of her family history. It's too bad that that didn't work out, because I liked the concept.
Making the stories read like the Feelings contained in a Hymmn was a really nice touch, by the way.

And I'm really curious about what exactly te Phazon was saying/singing there. A quick scan of the Lexicon on the wiki didn't return anything, but it was a very quik scan and to make matters worse I'm on a phone, so its even harder to search for anythin. I'll have another look later.
Thanks. :)

Mostly it's gibberish, sorry. One of the lines is Norwegian.
 
Hana still, as always, refuses to be fully happy. That's to be expected, given her situation, but it also doesn't make me happy. Or Einsig. On the bright side, she's found people now, so that's got to be good... right? It's good, right?

As for Mir, her intention was that Hana would eventually figure it out, ideally while she was telling it, but Hana was never very far away from her parents or sister. Worst case she'd have had half an hour or so to agonise over it while walking home from a hike in the local forest. (That is to say, Mikry, although it isn't the same Mikry as from AT2; they named one of the forests on Metafalica after it.)

It was a riddle. Hana figuring it out was a sign that she'd matured enough that she could handle learning a little more of her family history. It's too bad that that didn't work out, because I liked the concept.

Thanks. :)

Mostly it's gibberish, sorry. One of the lines is Norwegian.
Hopefuly the people Hana is meeting are nice people. I mean, it's not like the first people she'll meet in this universe will be Space Pirates taking a detour to lay low on a habitable planet without sentient life, right?

...right?!

And yeah, things are finally picking up, and I can't wait for the next chapter.

I wonder what our favorite Scientist Bird-person and his pals are up to?
 
Right now?

Helping deal with a Phazon infestation.
Interesting. I imagine he's very busy, then. Probably too busy to notice a little girl-shaped bubble of altered reality moving around the universe.

I'm still looking forward to their meeting, by the way. It'll be... something. Knowing this fic, probably a mix of funny and heartbreaking.
 
In case people missed it:
flash flooding wasn't one of the effects the Fei Zou typically had.

That name, meaning "Great Poison", kept itching in the back of her head.
Fei Zou
Feizou
Phazon

Also I like the portrayal of curved space, and diabetes-hazard that is Hana building sand-glass castles on the beach. It's rare for a story, even sci-fi, to incorporate scientific elements in such a seamless and visually evocative manner. Which of the two of you is the physicist?
 
In case people missed it:
Fei Zou
Feizou
Phazon

Also I like the portrayal of curved space, and diabetes-hazard that is Hana building sand-glass castles on the beach. It's rare for a story, even sci-fi, to incorporate scientific elements in such a seamless and visually evocative manner. Which of the two of you is the physicist?

Neither. Baughn just knows better how to look for this stuff.

Also, @Quickshot0 is somewhat good at physics and he talks to us about our ramblings rather often.
 
Also I like the portrayal of curved space, and diabetes-hazard that is Hana building sand-glass castles on the beach. It's rare for a story, even sci-fi, to incorporate scientific elements in such a seamless and visually evocative manner. Which of the two of you is the physicist?
I know just enough physics to get in trouble.

In short, I have what feels like (but probably isn't) decent intuition for most of it, from reading entirely too many science blogs and whatnot. I don't know the math, mostly.

This usually suffices for writing sci-fi, and I know who to ask when I run into iffy details.
 
Also, @Quickshot0 is somewhat good at physics and he talks to us about our ramblings rather often.
I don't think I compare to an actual physicist, but I did study it a bit at university for 3-4 months. This did get me to do some actual relativistic calculations though, which were some what interesting and could lead to strange and unexpected results occasionally.

Still I'm glad my ramblings to your writing at times are of some help. :)
 
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We revised the opening chapter a little bit.

There's nothing actually new there, but it should flow a little better now, and possibly establish Shu-Qi's character sooner. For any completionists amongst you, the changes are limited to before the first section break.
 
You know, if that's really the great poison then the Chozo should have wiped out humanity long ago. Especially if what Samus Aran saw is what the Chozo of the past saw when inside the great poison. Since when they encountered the Poison long ago they might not have made contact with humanity yet.
 
How do you figure that Deus? I mean... you just see some light figures. And that assumes the Chozo of the time could already make the cool super armor Samus has and thus wander in that deeply. Which I kind of suspect they might not, considering its implied they didn't have any actual objects from deep inside.

So one might speculate that the super armor was a development after the Great Poison had disappeared again, an answer they thought up to it based on all their research up till then... but just no longer had a target to test it out on. And then they probably partially self annihilated and regressed.... I wonder if they still know how to make suits like that.
 
How do you figure that Deus? I mean... you just see some light figures. And that assumes the Chozo of the time could already make the cool super armor Samus has and thus wander in that deeply. Which I kind of suspect they might not, considering its implied they didn't have any actual objects from deep inside.

So one might speculate that the super armor was a development after the Great Poison had disappeared again, an answer they thought up to it based on all their research up till then... but just no longer had a target to test it out on. And then they probably partially self annihilated and regressed.... I wonder if they still know how to make suits like that.
Well, I thought that they had already probed the great poison in the past and some of those probes might have returned to show some ghostly images of humanity but they do not know about humanity yet. And then after some time (centuries or millennias) humanity appeared and they looked alot like the ghosts inside of the great poison.

The great poison ravaged their civilization so of course they might build some heavy duty probes to try and find a way to counter it not to mention that Samus' armor might be based on how the poison worked or the probes.

On the other hand it might also be the reason why they chose Samus.


Note: I never played Metroid or Ar Tonelico games but I did do some research on both and I like Ar Tonelico's songs.
 
Well, I thought that they had already probed the great poison in the past and some of those probes might have returned to show some ghostly images of humanity but they do not know about humanity yet. And then after some time (centuries or millennias) humanity appeared and they looked alot like the ghosts inside of the great poison.
It would depend on which particular Leviathan gets involved. Not all of them would create such lightshows at all, though it isn't surprising that this one would; if it didn't, it probably wouldn't be here at all.

But "blobs of light" is accurate. Samus called them "children" and "adults", yes, but that requires a fair bit of generosity, and is more based on their behaviour than their appearance. It could be any of a number of species, so why not blame the Catians?
 
It would depend on which particular Leviathan gets involved. Not all of them would create such lightshows at all, though it isn't surprising that this one would; if it didn't, it probably wouldn't be here at all.

But "blobs of light" is accurate. Samus called them "children" and "adults", yes, but that requires a fair bit of generosity, and is more based on their behaviour than their appearance. It could be any of a number of species, so why not blame the Catians?
Don't know, never played it and what I know is just the mostly scratch. And I only said Humanity since that's the only species that I know in metroid other than Chozo.
 
Well, do I have some news for all of you!

I QUIT!

No, just kidding. The next chapter is more or less finished. I just need to wait for Baughn to do his co-author/beta thing and finish up the details.

While he does that, I'm working on the following chapter. I've realized that one of the big reasons I update so slow is that when I finish and release a chapter, I don't work on the following one for several days. That's dumb.
 
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