Son of Death (30k Mortarion Quest)

And Mortarion absolutely has a whole lot of ego. It's the kind of toxic, self-defeating pride that makes a man hold himself to ridiculous standards, to double down on bad ideas and brood over his failures and lash out at the world rather than accept his own shortcomings.
Oh yeah. That sounds like a couple of farmers I knew throughout my life. 'Old Man Mortarion' is gonna be a byword on Barbarus by the time we're done. Too early to say if it'll be good or bad, though.
 
It's the kind of toxic, self-defeating pride that makes a man hold himself to ridiculous standards, to double down on bad ideas and brood over his failures and lash out at the world rather than accept his own shortcomings.
Well said. I'm also curious about the reverse, because, whilst Perturabo is probably a bigger victim of it, what I remember of canon Mortarion matches up with this too. As in, I'm also interested in how this Mortarion is going deal with failure that is objectively and obviously not his fault and he couldn't have been expected to be able succeed there in any reasonable universe due to external factors. Whether he takes that upon their shoulders regardless and lashes out in pretty much exactly the same way to how he does when it is his fault or whether he reacts differently will be interesting.
 
I'll be honest with you all, anyone who thinks farmers have no ego has never actually spoken to a farmer.

AuthenticFarmerMortarion: Fuck the weather, the skull cabbage isn't going to grow properly with such an unpoisonous air.
RandomCitizen: Wait, didn't you curse out the air for being too poisonous for your murdertatos like five minutes ago?
AuthenticFarmerMortarion: Yes, and?
 
I hear hobbies are great therapy. We can just put a hobby garden and some fields on our future Gloriana Class Battleship and do some totally relaxing gardening and farming. Space potatoes.

On a different note. Are we going to convert all of our Legions vehicles into combine harvesters? At least it would allow us to continue reaping fields. Just battlefields.

Hm... Maybe just add scythes to everything? Dark Eldar might sue us though. Is copyright a thing in WH30k?
 
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What movie is called?
en.wikipedia.org

Evil Aliens - Wikipedia


Redundant title, I know.

I hear hobbies are great therapy. We can just put a hobby garden and some fields on our future Gloriana Class Battleship and do some totally relaxing gardening and farming. Space potatoes.
Running the hydroponics on our Gloriana is a good idea actually. Might be a tradition for the Apothecaries. Stress relief while using their skills....
 
I'll be honest with you all, anyone who thinks farmers have no ego has never actually spoken to a farmer.
I'll speak for my late grandfather and my brother's unfortunately still breathing inlaws. They absolutely have ego in spades, outright thinking of themselves as the monarchs of their acreage, but they just don't give too much of a fuck about you. As far as they are concerned the rest of the world is an ass-backwards circus of bloviating or helplessly mewling do-nothings, self licking icecream cones, and well polished turds.

They'd like you to stay somewhere over there, comfortably on the other side of the horizon, so they can get on with things that are actually important. Rather than shout at you they'll just say whatever pleasantries are needed to try to get you to leave faster.
 
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I'll be honest with you all, anyone who thinks farmers have no ego has never actually spoken to a farmer.
Meh. He's a a Primarch. Those beings can't exist without an ego. In fact, the worst Primarch stories are those where they simply don't act like one and try to be an overly human humble pie.

Learning about and appreciating the work ordinary people do is already a great thing and we shouldn't expect these literal demigods to behave like humans. Even Vulcan didn't.

If farmers got an ego, then Mortarion will be the greatest farmer of them all and the size of his ego shall only be eclipsed by the size of his turnips.
 
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Farming is straightforward. That isn't the same thing as being easy.
Farming is anything but straightforward, to be honest. Like, modern day farming requires a remarkable amount of chemical and mechanical knowledge for the dizzying array of fertilisers, pesticides, and machinery it involves, but even before that it's still skilled labour that involves a lot of diligent attention to your land.
 
I mean.

I'm also in this because I want to ideally also Get Mortarions hobby to be cooking.

I never participated in Eater of Worlds, but dammit I want my food porn.
 
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Farming is anything but straightforward, to be honest. Like, modern day farming requires a remarkable amount of chemical and mechanical knowledge for the dizzying array of fertilisers, pesticides, and machinery it involves, but even before that it's still skilled labour that involves a lot of diligent attention to your land.
As I said. Straightforward- not easy.
 
I mean.

I'm also in this because I want to ideally also Get Mortarions hobby to be cooking.

I never participated in Eater of Worlds, but dammit I want my food porn.
"So first we're going to sprinkle the base coat upon the Eldar brain and let it sit for 15 minutes. You don't *have* to let it sit but I like to let it seep into the meat. Next we've got some ork blood, we'll drizzle it on and then rub it into the meat. Again, I like to let it sit for 15, and make sure you get it all deep into the wrinkles. Now the spices are up to your personal preference but I personally favor this mix of Olympian and Macraggian-"
 
Council of Nikea in 001.M31.

The Emperor and the Primarchs gathered to adress the involvement of Psykers in the Legions.

Big E: "Mortarion."

Morty: "Yeah, daddy?"

Big E: "Take that stupid straw hat off and stop fiddling with your banjo! We have important matters to discuss!"

Morty: "And I am providing suitably dramatic background music."
 
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