Omake: 101 wrong ways to use Dia, part 1
Ken was sitting in his room, bored. SEES all had something to do, so he couldn't sit with them, all other children his age were asleep, and it was heavly raining. His knowldege has already reached max, as did diligence, so he didn't even have anything to work on!
"You do have something to work on, your combat skills still suck, not how they were in the past... or future, rather."
Ken got the feeling someone was saying something bad about him. It didn't help his boredom, just annoyed him a little. Looking around his room once more, he still couldn't find anything interesting.
"Ok, how about this. Maybe work on channeling? Dia could use some help, you can barely heal a small cut."
Suddenly, he got an idea. One of his spells, Dia, is used by everyone to just heal, but you are sure you can find more things to do with it!
"That's... pretty good idea actually. You did think of few such uses before."
Ken grabbed a pen and notebook and started writing. It was surprisingly easy, almost as if he had already thought about some of them before!
"Because you did..."
1. Recrute an army of masochists, offering them healing so that they can have more 'pleasure time' if they fight for you.
2. Train your body by repeatably destroying your muscles and breaking bones, then healing them. After all, muscles and bones regrow stronger.
3. Create a second identity, so that one of them always has broken arm, while the other doesn't. This way no one will connect the two.
4. Kill your enemies by using Dia on mutated cells inside their bodies, until the cell gets strong enough to give the enemy a cancer. Do so in the identity your enemy doesn't know and pretend you are giving them a massage, so that Dia actually works.
5. Create a hole inside your arm where you can keep drugs and other stuff. When you want to take the stuff out, you just cut yourself a little, take it out, and heal the hole with Dia, leaving empty spot behind.
6. Go to the hospital in white pyjamas and stupid-looking white mask, call yourself "The bringer of hope and eternity" and start healing people with injuries, while shouting as loud as you can "This kind of injury is nothing for me, the supreme overlord of pancakes!". When you get famous, start saying you will only heal for pancakes. Live the rest of your life with unlimited pancakes.
7. Become the GTA-style hairdresser, using Dia to regrow hair, so that you can give bald men afro.
8. Get a very low level Shadow with only electric spell on his list and use him to power your phone. When the Shadow refuses to work, give him few spanks, than heal, than spank him again. Repeat until the Shadow loads your phone.
9. If you ever become a vampire, use Dia on your thrall so that you can harvest more blood before you have to stop.
10. Stab someone, then repeatadly use Dia on them until the injury is healed - with the spear still inside. Shadows always accept healing, and this way you might block their movement better than just injuring them.
11. Make sure your future daughter/adopted younger sister stays maiden forever.
12. And make sure the boy responsible knows you did not approve of him. Dia is surprasingly the most brutal spell when torturing someone.
13. While you are on it, take care of all boys around her. No reason to risk it.
14. Remove scars by cutting them out and healing the skin where the scars were. You can try removing tattoos the same way.
15. Check how much people trust you, by saying "Ok, if you trust me, close your eyes. I will hurt, but trust me, you will thank me later." then casting Dia. If it works, the person trusts you. If not, kick him in the nuts or spank her.
16. When Shinjiro tries to take a bullet for you and then refuses Dia, start shouting at him about revenge, and that you will kill him yourself, charge Zio, and when he closes eyes to take the hit, cast Dia. He will accept it, expecting it to be Zio. Then slap him few times for his idioticy and heal again. If he refuses the heal, slap him again. Repeat until successful.
17. Look forever young ala Elizabeth Bathory by bathing in blood of young men (since you are male yourself). Since you are young, you can use your own blood for bathing, and you can easly gather it by almost bleeding out and than healing yourself with Dia.
18. Let dogs taste chocolate, than heal them before they get harmed. Dia doesn't heal poison, that's different spell
18. Collect spider silk by casting Dia on black widows while they are producing it. Thanks to Dia, they will be able to produce more. You can use the spider silk later for some great armor or sell for a lot of money.
19. Cultivate a virus by putting it in different environments and constantly using Dia until it adapts. Once you made the virus unkillable, threated every country in the world that you will release it if they don't listen to your demands. Make an example of the first country that makes fun of you. Make demands then.
20. Use Dia to restore your energy while someone is running from you, so that you can sprint all the way without tiring.
Ken looked at the points he wrote so far, and felt really worried for his sanity.
"I'm not sure what's worse: that the older you/me thought of many of them, or that older me/you didn't think of the others..."
That's part one! Just so you know, you have ideas? Write the next part! I'm not keeping all rights to this omake series for myself! I don't think I will manage all 101 myself anyway... And warning! Invisitext!