"The alarm is set to twelve." Kakashi's palm lands on a timer, one Sakura swears she's seen in her basement at some point. The man likes older things, that's info she didn't have before. Even as her brain fizzles a little from a lack of sleep, she is still able to pay enough attention to that.
More importantly, she's able to swap her attention back to Kakashi before he moves on without her. "Today's test is to get these two bells from me. Anyone who doesn't have a bell by noon, is being sent back to the academy." The man holds up jingling circular bells. The kind you might play with if you were trying to treat a cat. He clicks them together and he can even hear that little kitty jingle.
"We're going to start after I say, "ready, start." He stares them down with a very distasteful expression. She can't see it behind that mask, but she knows a shittalker when she sees one.
She's argued with enough on the microphone.
Naruto rushing forward before she can say a word doesn't surprise her. He's their idiot now, but he's still an idiot. She supposes she should try to find it endearing or cute, but right now her head kinda throbs and she'd rather he fall over and take a nap.
Kakashi does exactly as she suspects, he proves they cannot win. He has a kunai at the back of Naruto's head within a second, holding him in a position of pure dominance. She's worse than Naruto at Taijutsu, and even if she wasn't, it wouldn't matter. It was such a no-contest moment of sheer power that she's left rolling her eyes at the entire concept.
This isn't a test they're supposed to win by overpowering him, check, understood. The rule is set. "I didn't say start yet." Kakashi teases him, and she picks up on the little flicker of amusement in his tone. It's not something she did intentionally, but she knows the difference between a man trying to be scary, and a man who's actually being scary.
One does not play a party game without getting the idea.
"Ready, start!"
He shouts, and… disappears.
Great.
"Hey, wear this." She slips a headset directly over Naruto's head, having found him quickly. He's not very stealthy. "You too Sasuke." Neither is Sasuke, watching her from the trees. "They'll help us communicate."
"Why should we?" Sasuke asks, spinning a kunai in his fingers, to look cool most likely.
"Because the test doesn't make any sense, which means there's a trick." She explains. "And if there's a trick, all three of us need to come up with a solution."
"Maybe you can't solve it, but it's really obvious to me." Sasuke says, staring down at them both with that awkward - somewhat endearing - look of disdain. He's got an ego on him, that's true.
She ignores Naruto's shouting up at him, and continues herself. She's sure he can hear her, toning out Naruto is an Academy level skill. "Then you're an idiot." She calls him out. "Because it's not a test at all."
"... Huh?" She manages to get both of them to say that.
"We were told we'd be split into teams of three in the academy, even those that didn't get a jonin sensei were still split into three, and that made sense because every other team we've ever heard about was a three person team." She begins. "The hokages had three, the Sannin were three, even Kakashi's old team was three."
"Uh-huh…" Naruto pretends to follow along. See that, that's cute. Running at Kakashi, not cute.
Maybe she can get him treats and start training him to be cute.
"So, he's not splitting us into two and sending one of us back or anything, he just lied." She holds out the set for Sasuke after he jumps down. "They're bluetooth, which does mean if they're within a good range they should be able to connect to the receiver I put in the ground earlier. It's complicated nonsense, don't worry about it. We just have to meet Kakashi at the clearing and stay within that range anytime we need to communicate."
Naruto seems very happy to not have to care. Sasuke gives her a pointed stare.
"It'll stop us from having to yell." She explains, and Sasuke does grasp it… Probably.
"So, he's not splitting us up, which means he's also lying about the objective. We're not going to overpower him, it's just not happening - shut-up Sasuke - it's not." She pointedly points at him.
The boy, to his credit, does shut up.
"The test is either rigged, or it's not, and if it's rigged we have no option which means we can only logically work as if it's not." She explains. "Only play when you can win, if you can't, don't even consider that game."
"So you think it's possible we can't win?" Sasuke asks.
"Yeah, it's very possible our sensei is just an asshole and doesn't like kids." Sakura shrugs. "I'm not sure Jonin are required to take students or anything, maybe he just got saddled with us and wants out."
"And you're saying that doesn't matter?" Sasuke asks.
"Not even a little. We have to work under the assumption the game is rigged in our favor, because in no other situation do our actions matter. It's a split branch scenario with one path. At every step it's either rigged, or it's not, and we have to work with the one where it's not." She pulls out a strange device that's blinking a little bit, and a shovel.
"Now do any of us have a way to turn this shovel into a hole?" She asks.
"I do!" Naruto jumps up, grabbing the shovel.
And suddenly there's fifty shovels and fifty Narutos.
"Gonna need you to be a little bit stealthy." Sakura gulps, staring at it all.
It's incredible.
Ino would trade sides in an instant. There's just so much man here…
Awkward, strange, overly loud man without many redeeming qualities, but she's pretty sure Ino would use the line 'I can fix him.'
That sucked.
That sucked so hardcore.
They won, but it hurt, and now, now she's being carried by Naruto.
"You know, you're pretty strong." She compliments him, snuggling into the grip of the boy holding her aloft. It's comfortable at least. "I think I might be wrong about you."
"Wrong about what?" Naruto asks.
"Don't worry about it." She reaches up and pats his cheek.
"You're gonna be a good teammate. Forget anything bad I've ever said about you, okay?"
"Okay, Sakura." Naruto smiles brightly. It's enough for her to fade away with a smile of her own.
