I'm pretty sure these won, but I'm too lazy to co- I mean, I COUNTED EVERYTHING AND THESE WON. YES, THEY DID. YES.
... Also, I was hoping you'd just get on back home and not ask anything about the demon plane, but looking at the vote, you've actually stumbled onto THE EXACT QUESTION I didn't want you to ask. Congratulations on speeding the game timeline by about three months, you assholes. Do you have to do this every damn quest? Dammit. Get off my lawn.
"So you called this a demon plane," you mention, because that's a suitable topic of conversation, isn't it? Like talking about the weather, or sportsball teams. "What kind of demons
are there, over here?"
"FOOL!" ... Nice pose. "This is the demonic Plane of Assimilation! An excellent place for hid- going to for peace and quiet, for the plane's aura naturally removes traces of one's journey!" Lifebane sounds appropriately smug about getting to lecture you, so you make sure to put on an expression that could reasonably be decsribed as 'impressed'. "The demons here are few but strong, preferring to stay isolated.
LIFEBANE does not bother with them, and would recommend doing the same."
... So in other words, they're crap-your-pants scary-strong, and Lifebane flees on sight of them. Gotcha. "And the way you travel," you continue, eyes wide and innocent, "is that innate, or something anyone can learn to do?"
Lifebane preens. "Ha! Ha ha! So you seek to learn the INCREDIBLE SECRETS of
LIFEBANE'S magic, puny mortal? Ha! And again, ha! This great and powerful magic is something few can reproduce! Only with great time and effort can one hope to master the
MYSTERIOUS ARTS OF MAGICK to such a high level!"
Whoah. "So, like, at an estimate...?"
"
An entire week!"
...
"Including breaks, naturally.
LIFEBANE's health is very important."
Dude. You're a skeleton. "That's... really something."
"Indeed!" Leaning forwards and crossing their... arm-bones, Lifebane peers at you. "Hmm...
LIFEBANE's knowledge of
MAGICK outside of necromancy and darker arts is... unimportant. Should Alex wish to learn of the
MYSTERIOUS ARTS, Alex must prove his worth and earn an apprenticeship!"
You rub your chin, because years of bad TV has taught you that this helps you think better. "And - how would I go about proving myself?"
Red eyes glint. Redly. In one smooth easy motion, Lifebane reaches deep into their robe and withdraws a folded sheet of paper, which is thrust in your face. Tentatively, you take it, unfold it, and read the heading,
☆ LIFEBANE FAN CLUB MEMBER APPLICATION! ☆
Uh.
You look at Lifebane.
... Until now, you'd never realised a pair of hood-shadowed, red eyes could sparkle so much. Or that a skeleton could quiver so excitedly.
..... Distraction time.
"I don't really have a pen with me right now," you say as you re-fold it and slip the paper into a pocket, not displaying your inventory just yet, "so wanna come to Crime City with me?"
If a skeleton can pout, Lifebane does so. Then it reluctantly tugs a pendant from around its neck (a tiny plastic skull and crossbones? Really?), holds it up, and reaches out to - EW BONE FINGERS AROUND YOUR ARM EW
wait
Oh. Look at that, you're in Crime City again.
With Lifebane. Ten feet up in the air.
And falling.
OW, FUCK!
HP -20 due to fall! HP now 50/70!
"Lifebane might not have calculated that one correctly," the skelemage woozes (now 30/50 HP), from where they're collapsed on the pavement beside you, a cloaked bundle of cracked bones.
"You forgot to capitalise and red-text," you grumble back, dragging yourself to your feet and trying to ignore the PAAAAAIN. Well, at least it's a side alley, and not the town centre, you guess. Still daylight, too!
[ ] Phone your Russian mother. He worries.
-[ ] Then take Lifebane to your base
-[ ] Get Lifebane's contact details and arrange to call.
[ ] Take Lifebane to your base.
[ ] Get Lifebane's contact details and arrange to call.
[ ] Just chill there for a while. In an alley. Yeeep.
[ ] Write in
