In which Taylor Hebert dies. She doesn't let that slow her down at all.
Post-Mortem Activities (Undead!Taylor, Slight Crack)
- Thread starter We Just Write
- Start date
Post-Mortem Activities
- Created
- Status
- Ongoing
- Watchers
- 1,225
- Recent readers
- 0
- Threadmarks
- 11
-
Statistics (7 threadmarks, 8.9k words)
User Total We Just Write 7 -
Loading…
-
Loading…
Time Of Death
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
Bugs, crawling all over me, biting in as I was trapped in the dark-
-Couldn't let them win, had to keep trying to escape-
-Dying, heart stopped, fuck you Emma, fuck you Winslow, FUCK YOU UNIVERSE IN GENERAL!-
The next thing I knew, I was standing in front of a large hardwood desk, the man in front of me a bored-looking clerk wearing a skull-shaped badge and a ridiculous pink-and-blue striped hairdo. Before I could find it in me to question what was happening, the man greeted me with "Welcome to the Afterlife Processing Center. Now that you're dead, we'll be going over your options."
I couldn't help but scream at him "Options!? What do you mean by options? I can't be dead!"
The man simply frowned and replied "I'm afraid you are, miss. All newly deceased individuals are routed through here, with particularly traumatized cases being sent to the counseling department before they reach processing. Anyway, since there are so many afterlives it's common policy among the United Dead to allow the newly deceased to choose any afterlife they meet the requirements for."
To this, I couldn't help but retort "I don't want an afterlife. I refuse to let those three bitches win by staying dead."
The clerk frowned at this, noting "Miss, that cannot be arranged. Are you sure you don't want to meet up with some of your relatives? I'm sure that they would be happy to see you, though perhaps a bit sad that it had to happen so soon."
Now that actually had me listening. My mother's death still burned strong in my memory, and the urge to see her again was very, very tempting. The desire to be hugged by her again conflicted deeply with an equally strong desire to deny the Trio their victory. Ultimately, I decided that I could afford to give Mom a quick visit, but that I'd be heading right back to the land of the living as soon as possible. Given that, I told the man at the desk "I'd like to see my mom, please?"
The clerk nodded, before he noted "I can arrange that, though I'll need a name and date of death in order to figure out who that is and where she would be."
Without any hesitation, I said "Annette Rose Hebert, she died on the Fifteenth of August, 2008."
The clerk replied "Understood. I'll be back in a few minutes; I just need to check the archives." With that, he stood up, and walked out the door in the back of the office behind his desk.
Now unaccompanied, I took the opportunity to look around the office I was in. The room was fairly small, with various framed documents hung on the walls. Behind me, another door was clearly labelled 'Exit', and I was so very tempted to try and sneak out through there and back to the world of the living. But no, I had already decided that I was going to talk to mom first.
Sure enough, after a few minutes the clerk came back, a filing folder held firmly in-hand. As he sat back down, he noted "Your mother is on record as having come through here on the date specified. She's on record as having chosen Hel as her primary residence, but is currently on a vacation in Yomi. Pages three through five detail instructions for finding the hotel she is currently staying at. She has been informed of your demise, and is waiting for your arrival."
I accepted the documents graciously, before noting, "I'll just be on my way, then."
The clerk simply nodded, before replying "Glad to be of service, miss." and gesturing to the door.
Exiting the processing facility, I found myself on what looked to be a cobblestone footpath floating in the void. Looking to the left, I could clearly see a vision of Earth, overlaid with the inside of that fucking locker. Yeah, I think I'll wait until they pry my corpse out of there to come back. Meanwhile, off to the right was a cluster of worlds. Looking at the papers, I quickly identified which one was Yomi, and walked down the path. Ahead of me, geometry apparently decided it could slack off, as despite looking several miles long I only took about three steps before suddenly I crashed right into Yomi, through the entrance gate, past the hotel lobby, and tumbled right into the waiting arms of my mom.
The first thing out of my mom's mouth as we hugged was "Taylor, I'm so sorry that we had to be reunited so soon, but I'm also so happy to see you again."
I just hugged deeper, before I replied "I really, really missed you."
As mom released, she said "I know you did, my little Owl. But please tell me that you didn't take matters into your own hands to come meet me."
I jolted back slightly, saying "What? NO! I was murdered by Emma and her gang of cronies. They shoved me in my locker after filling it with used tampons and locked me in."
This revelation struck my mother like getting slapped in the face, as she immediately asked "EMMA did that? As in the same Emma who's been your sister in all but blood since elementary school?"
My answer was "Yeah, about the time high school started Emma changed for some reason, started hanging out with some other girls and began tormenting me for no good reason. As soon as the cops get around to pulling my corpse out of the locker I'm going to come right back and haunt her ass."
With that, mom simply nodded, noting "Well, make sure to tell me how it goes at the very least. Anyway, there's at least a few hours before you should get back, if you're aiming to arrive at the morgue. Mind catching me up on what else I've missed these last few years, aside from Emma going off the deep end?"
To this I answered "Sure thing."
Just before I was about to start in though, there was a knock at the door of the room, as mom noted "Also, when I heard you were coming, I ordered room service."
After a greatly relieving conversation with mom, I was ready to make my way back to the land of the living. Getting out of Yomi was as simple as taking a single step with intent to leave, and I was once more among the tangle of footpaths. Ahead of me was the image of Earth, now showing the view of several people in medical scrubs in what I guessed was my official autopsy.
Without further delay, I charged straight towards that image, the path's strange geometry once more yielding before me. Then I slammed straight into a transparent barrier stretching back almost like a trampoline membrane. I could feel it deep in my existence that this barrier was in place specifically to keep people like me from smashing their way back into the world of the living. In response, I pushed harder, basically daring this barrier to smite me where I stood.
So, the barrier did, blasting me backwards with some sort of ridiculous lightning zap. Honestly, while it certainly hurt, the fact was that I was already dead, so more pain really didn't matter. So I ran forwards again, and again. After the fiftieth time or so, I started swearing.
"Fuck you, barrier!"
-ZAP!-
"Emma, you are an irredeemable-"
-ZAP!-
"-stain upon reality! FUCK YOU!"
-ZAP!-
"AND FUCK THE EDUCATION SYSTEM-"
-ZAP!-
"-FOR BEING SHITTY ENOUGH THAT YOU-"
-ZAP!-
"-COULD GET AWAY WITH TORTURING ME-"
-ZAP!-
"-FOR LITERALLY YEARS!"
Clearly, a change of tactics was required. Now, instead of just charging at the barrier like a complete idiot, I walked forwards slowly. When the barrier appeared once more, I stuck my hand out and poked it directly into the zappiness. Unsurprisingly, my hand got zapped, but this time I held my ground. Feeling the sensation, it was definitely one of heat and fire. I countered with a flame of my own, but a cold flame forged from the sheer spite I had about my fate, hammered into the shape of a chainsaw. Hey, if I'm in a non-physical world I might as well see if lucid dreaming tricks work. Turns out the answer is yes.
Revving up my spitesaw, I stabbed it forwards into the barrier, creating a massive gash. As I walked onwards, I looked back towards the afterlives, observing the massive gash I'd left in the structure blocking the dead from rejoining the living. Meh, that probably wasn't important.
I took one final step, and suddenly I was looking up at a bright light, the three or so men in the room with my suddenly stumbling backwards as I sat up. Wait, no, don't run away!
Before any of them could leave, I said "For the record, I don't mind that you were autopsying me, seeing as I am actually dead, but could I please have some clothes?"
Then I thought to look at my reflection in one of the mirrors they had hanging here. Yep, green flames for eyes, rotting maggot-infested wounds all over, and a distinctly deathly pallor. I definitely looked like I'd just walked out of a horror movie. Perfect.
-Couldn't let them win, had to keep trying to escape-
-Dying, heart stopped, fuck you Emma, fuck you Winslow, FUCK YOU UNIVERSE IN GENERAL!-
The next thing I knew, I was standing in front of a large hardwood desk, the man in front of me a bored-looking clerk wearing a skull-shaped badge and a ridiculous pink-and-blue striped hairdo. Before I could find it in me to question what was happening, the man greeted me with "Welcome to the Afterlife Processing Center. Now that you're dead, we'll be going over your options."
I couldn't help but scream at him "Options!? What do you mean by options? I can't be dead!"
The man simply frowned and replied "I'm afraid you are, miss. All newly deceased individuals are routed through here, with particularly traumatized cases being sent to the counseling department before they reach processing. Anyway, since there are so many afterlives it's common policy among the United Dead to allow the newly deceased to choose any afterlife they meet the requirements for."
To this, I couldn't help but retort "I don't want an afterlife. I refuse to let those three bitches win by staying dead."
The clerk frowned at this, noting "Miss, that cannot be arranged. Are you sure you don't want to meet up with some of your relatives? I'm sure that they would be happy to see you, though perhaps a bit sad that it had to happen so soon."
Now that actually had me listening. My mother's death still burned strong in my memory, and the urge to see her again was very, very tempting. The desire to be hugged by her again conflicted deeply with an equally strong desire to deny the Trio their victory. Ultimately, I decided that I could afford to give Mom a quick visit, but that I'd be heading right back to the land of the living as soon as possible. Given that, I told the man at the desk "I'd like to see my mom, please?"
The clerk nodded, before he noted "I can arrange that, though I'll need a name and date of death in order to figure out who that is and where she would be."
Without any hesitation, I said "Annette Rose Hebert, she died on the Fifteenth of August, 2008."
The clerk replied "Understood. I'll be back in a few minutes; I just need to check the archives." With that, he stood up, and walked out the door in the back of the office behind his desk.
Now unaccompanied, I took the opportunity to look around the office I was in. The room was fairly small, with various framed documents hung on the walls. Behind me, another door was clearly labelled 'Exit', and I was so very tempted to try and sneak out through there and back to the world of the living. But no, I had already decided that I was going to talk to mom first.
Sure enough, after a few minutes the clerk came back, a filing folder held firmly in-hand. As he sat back down, he noted "Your mother is on record as having come through here on the date specified. She's on record as having chosen Hel as her primary residence, but is currently on a vacation in Yomi. Pages three through five detail instructions for finding the hotel she is currently staying at. She has been informed of your demise, and is waiting for your arrival."
I accepted the documents graciously, before noting, "I'll just be on my way, then."
The clerk simply nodded, before replying "Glad to be of service, miss." and gesturing to the door.
Exiting the processing facility, I found myself on what looked to be a cobblestone footpath floating in the void. Looking to the left, I could clearly see a vision of Earth, overlaid with the inside of that fucking locker. Yeah, I think I'll wait until they pry my corpse out of there to come back. Meanwhile, off to the right was a cluster of worlds. Looking at the papers, I quickly identified which one was Yomi, and walked down the path. Ahead of me, geometry apparently decided it could slack off, as despite looking several miles long I only took about three steps before suddenly I crashed right into Yomi, through the entrance gate, past the hotel lobby, and tumbled right into the waiting arms of my mom.
The first thing out of my mom's mouth as we hugged was "Taylor, I'm so sorry that we had to be reunited so soon, but I'm also so happy to see you again."
I just hugged deeper, before I replied "I really, really missed you."
As mom released, she said "I know you did, my little Owl. But please tell me that you didn't take matters into your own hands to come meet me."
I jolted back slightly, saying "What? NO! I was murdered by Emma and her gang of cronies. They shoved me in my locker after filling it with used tampons and locked me in."
This revelation struck my mother like getting slapped in the face, as she immediately asked "EMMA did that? As in the same Emma who's been your sister in all but blood since elementary school?"
My answer was "Yeah, about the time high school started Emma changed for some reason, started hanging out with some other girls and began tormenting me for no good reason. As soon as the cops get around to pulling my corpse out of the locker I'm going to come right back and haunt her ass."
With that, mom simply nodded, noting "Well, make sure to tell me how it goes at the very least. Anyway, there's at least a few hours before you should get back, if you're aiming to arrive at the morgue. Mind catching me up on what else I've missed these last few years, aside from Emma going off the deep end?"
To this I answered "Sure thing."
Just before I was about to start in though, there was a knock at the door of the room, as mom noted "Also, when I heard you were coming, I ordered room service."
After a greatly relieving conversation with mom, I was ready to make my way back to the land of the living. Getting out of Yomi was as simple as taking a single step with intent to leave, and I was once more among the tangle of footpaths. Ahead of me was the image of Earth, now showing the view of several people in medical scrubs in what I guessed was my official autopsy.
Without further delay, I charged straight towards that image, the path's strange geometry once more yielding before me. Then I slammed straight into a transparent barrier stretching back almost like a trampoline membrane. I could feel it deep in my existence that this barrier was in place specifically to keep people like me from smashing their way back into the world of the living. In response, I pushed harder, basically daring this barrier to smite me where I stood.
So, the barrier did, blasting me backwards with some sort of ridiculous lightning zap. Honestly, while it certainly hurt, the fact was that I was already dead, so more pain really didn't matter. So I ran forwards again, and again. After the fiftieth time or so, I started swearing.
"Fuck you, barrier!"
-ZAP!-
"Emma, you are an irredeemable-"
-ZAP!-
"-stain upon reality! FUCK YOU!"
-ZAP!-
"AND FUCK THE EDUCATION SYSTEM-"
-ZAP!-
"-FOR BEING SHITTY ENOUGH THAT YOU-"
-ZAP!-
"-COULD GET AWAY WITH TORTURING ME-"
-ZAP!-
"-FOR LITERALLY YEARS!"
Clearly, a change of tactics was required. Now, instead of just charging at the barrier like a complete idiot, I walked forwards slowly. When the barrier appeared once more, I stuck my hand out and poked it directly into the zappiness. Unsurprisingly, my hand got zapped, but this time I held my ground. Feeling the sensation, it was definitely one of heat and fire. I countered with a flame of my own, but a cold flame forged from the sheer spite I had about my fate, hammered into the shape of a chainsaw. Hey, if I'm in a non-physical world I might as well see if lucid dreaming tricks work. Turns out the answer is yes.
Revving up my spitesaw, I stabbed it forwards into the barrier, creating a massive gash. As I walked onwards, I looked back towards the afterlives, observing the massive gash I'd left in the structure blocking the dead from rejoining the living. Meh, that probably wasn't important.
I took one final step, and suddenly I was looking up at a bright light, the three or so men in the room with my suddenly stumbling backwards as I sat up. Wait, no, don't run away!
Before any of them could leave, I said "For the record, I don't mind that you were autopsying me, seeing as I am actually dead, but could I please have some clothes?"
Then I thought to look at my reflection in one of the mirrors they had hanging here. Yep, green flames for eyes, rotting maggot-infested wounds all over, and a distinctly deathly pallor. I definitely looked like I'd just walked out of a horror movie. Perfect.
OstermanA
(Unverified Penguin)
- Location
- $PWD
This is glorious and I eagerly await more. Also, the Spitesaw needs additional screen time. Perhaps as weapon of choice, with a nod to Evil Dead?
Last edited:
Bronze_Moose
Okay at Omake
- Location
- Port Angeles, Washington
This is a very important fanfiction. Indeed, very, very important.
- Location
- Hungrary
I can't wait for the Protectorate snd the PRT try to "prove" she is a parahuman.
"I am not a parahuman. I Just died and said tho the Afterlife "Fuck You" and came back.
Not having all the brain mods needed to be a parahuman and actually being dead should prove smthg.
"I am not a parahuman. I Just died and said tho the Afterlife "Fuck You" and came back.
Not having all the brain mods needed to be a parahuman and actually being dead should prove smthg.
Yzarc
The Spark of Madness
Errr.....I disagree. It is important. Very important.
- Location
- Tech Duinn
Where exactly does one escalate towards after forcibly coming back from the dead and defying the natural order of the universe.
Probably nowhere good for Emma.
Probably nowhere good for Emma.
- Location
- Hungrary
Yeah. People usually top their badassery with saying death "Fuck You I am not going to the Afterlife"
This Taylor started with it.
okay that's a big chekov, is that how Annette will come back, or will someone like King be using the gash?
- Location
- Hungrary
Eh. Not likely. I mean what kind of body do you think King has After Jack and Harbinger killed him? They probably hacked him into as many pieces as possible. And since they would inhabit the body they originally had. A mangled and decades old body is not really a work able situation. Taylor here was dead for a few hours only and she is in a really bad condition already.
Jordisk
<Unverified N00B>
- Location
- Blind Eternities
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
She is in bad condition mostly because of the bugs in the locker. She has the whole "Deathly Pallor" thing, because her blood has mostly drained away from where it was flowing, but the maggots and such are from the flies and other bugs in the locker.
Panacea could, upon being supplied with an example of Annette's DNA and sufficient biomass, create a clone of Annette. However, that would not be Annette Hebert, just a clone of her. Panacea works with LIVING tissue. Her power is willing to use uncooked animal flesh as a source of biomass, but all her final products are alive.
I just want to see what the various shards thing of an actual undead. How will Shaper react? What about Inference Engine, or maybe even Chirurgeon? Also, how badly did Taylor's raising screw up precog? It is not something the Shards would have predicted, so it probably threw off predictions at least temporarily. Is that a continuous thing? Is she immune to shard-based precog now?
- Location
- Hungrary
And King has been dead for át least a decade. I think Jack was 12 when he was killed, so quite a while ago. My point is that his body is in a really bad shape, and as Taylor 's example shows returning to your old body does not heal you. So King has a skeleton or less rotting somewhere. Thats not much.
- Location
- USA
A killerrendition of Thriller.
Jordisk
<Unverified N00B>
- Location
- Blind Eternities
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Is a Killer rendition better or worse than a Thrilling rendition? I mean, points for the rhyme and the reference to the undead, but Thrilling is a title drop, and alliteration as well.
A hole in the afterlife... Yeah, don't think it's important too, don't worry Taylor.
- Location
- USA
Ah, Alliteration, an avenue for abundant annoyance if abused.
That said, glad to have amused you... Also, low-key hyped MP3.(pie!) got a chuckle out of that. Amusing one of one's favorite writers is always uplifting.In effort to keep this on topic though, I'm half expecting Taylor to, more or less, kick off an accidental zombie apocalypse... Or at the very least to have annoyed the bureaucrats from the afterlife side of things sufficiently enough that she won't be the only one to be popping up looking like an extra from Thriller.
Jordisk
<Unverified N00B>
- Location
- Blind Eternities
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
I can see issues from the bureaucrats, but I don't think they would be sending villains after her. I think they will be more concerned with cleaning up/closing the hole in the afterlife. They probably have people to track down wayward souls/undead. Where else would the legend of the Grim Reaper come from?Ah, Alliteration, an avenue for abundant annoyance if abused.
In effort to keep this on topic though, I'm half expecting Taylor to, more or less, kick off an accidental zombie apocalypse... Or at the very least to have annoyed the bureaucrats from the afterlife side of things sufficiently enough that she won't be the only one to be popping up looking like an extra from Thriller.
- Location
- In The Shadowbear Slave Camp
Given that she was told that there was the OPTION of returning, I feel like that barrier was probably there specifically to prevent ANGRY spirits from returning, and that there's some way to get through WITHOUT breaking a hole in it. Maybe she should have actually ASKED....
OstermanA
(Unverified Penguin)
- Location
- $PWD
On the other hand, Taylor is kind of the definition of an "angry spirit" right now, so...
- Location
- Russia
...to be fair, she is an ANGRY spirit.
Edit: Ghost'd.
- Location
- In The Shadowbear Slave Camp
I think she was exactly angry enough to try to use brute force, but not angry enough to not adjust her approach when it failed. A sweet spot for breaking it as it were.
- Location
- Russia
She was a, frankly, rather miffed spirit.