Pocket System
- Thread starter theaceoffire
- Start date
- Crossover Fantasy
I can just imagine if he tries to talk to someone about what to have for dinner. This is what the conversation will be like.
I think John's actually moving away from 'needing' a Pocket Pal, at least psychologically. Or at least, it's an ongoing sign of such? Moving more just to having pen pals.
My arbitrary rules for storytelling!
- Location
- Here
- If you need to stop reading a story to be able to check a map to see what's going on, I messed up! Any extra materials to the story, such as links to other pages of data, images, music, video, etc... They should be optional extras for those interested, not required for basic understanding. This is to prevent those with special needs or hardware or software from being unable to follow along.
- If your character accidentally devolves into multiple people, try to follow the one going in the most interesting direction. I once had a character literally just retire, and nothing happened for years... I mean they were happy and all, but still: I should have followed his other duplicate who ended up training anti-terrorism squads in his off time. That one was my bad.
- If you start getting more and more resistance to your story, back off and give it a chance to cool off for a few days. Interference can be a headache, literally, and attempting to force follow the plot along can easily introduce typos and errors. And don't forget you're always allowed to pick one of the other versions of them if it's just too frustrating to keep trying! Most things blocking you are easily bored or distracted, and we'll probably wander away if you give them a chance to lose interest.
- Don't attempt to fully control everything, or allow others to dictate what 'should' happen. Even if there's an infinite number of variations going on for any particular situation, not every writer can see the same subset of events. If you allow other people to influence the narrative, you'll probably run to a dead end where they can see what's going to happen and you can't. You can still ask for input or suggestions or whatever, but by the end of the day you need to write what you are interested in Reading.
- Try to stay out of your own stories, it causes feedback loops. Hurts like fuck. Not to mention what happens with typos.
- Try to avoid characters like Deadpool, or Freakazoid, those that damage the fourth wall. That was there to protect you and them, just like everything else set up to keep reality separate from itself, and those who can document such individuals properly are both incredibly talented and more than a little unhinged... I'm not saying it's impossible to include their antics in a well-written way, I'm just saying that that's top tier shit. And even if you succeed, what you get on paper might not actually be fun to read.
- Location
- Australia
Another fun world for him to visit would be Nier: Automata, there's some interesting tech all round and both Grace and Temptation would LOVE the "combat" outfits that the androids have, they would also be really happy about the body John is most likely to inhabit and think it was made just to tempt them!
It's also a place he'd be leaving much better off if he went through it!
It's also a place he'd be leaving much better off if he went through it!
Update on Wednesday
- Location
- Here
But I am mostly getting the medication issues straightened out, huzzah!
Snacks, customs, and social norms of the undead.
- Location
- Here
Om nom nom, om nom nom… [[Poink!]]
A spike of power flooded John's body. "Grrrrr?" [[The heck was that?]]
Felt like he had just taken a shot of espresso mixed with an energy drink and a taser! Damn, whatever that was just flooded his basic zombie Body with more Sun than he'd eaten for the last ten minutes!
He slowly shifted his sluggish body to face forwards again, looking at the mostly consumed wall-nut and… [[Poink!]]
Oh. It was a pea shaped magical projectile. One that ignored the nut it just phased through entirely, and then sort of injected itself directly into his corpse. Tingly.
Apparently the situation farther along the lawn had been handled and now there would be projectiles to deal with if John wanted to eat anything further today. Which was fine, this was more a data gathering mission than an actual attempt to consume the Homeowner.
Speaking of these peashooters, they had a heck of a lot of power in just one shot too! Didn't seem to harm him though, so why were OTHER zombies falling apart just from being poked by these things?
…Well, let's find out!
John tried to grin (His face wasn't that flexible at the moment) and held up his left arm to catch the next… [[Poink!]]
His arm fell off.
…What? System, what just happened!?
[[Body component 'Arm-L' has become oversaturated with energy. Local safety protocols activated.]]
Safety protocols!? WHAT safety protocols!?
[[To protect the essence of an individual zombie, when Sun saturation reaches dangerous levels excess amounts are stored within a disposable limb, item, or vehicle for disposal. When current Body reaches critical levels without any safe methods to expel excess energy, the Body itself is discarded while the Zombie is reborn and potentially offered the opportunity to evolve.]]
John absently shifted his slow body, managing to dodge the next pea… And apparently that confused the HELL out of the plants in the row.
Which was odd, considering they were just solidified spells, but whatever… Oh dear, now the peashooter looked frustrated!
John tried to preemptively judge where the next shot would be aimed. "Braaains?" [[Hey system, what is the 'essence of an individual zombie'? Are we talking about their Souls?]]
Because most of these 'basic zombies' didn't seem to HAVE a Soul, as far as he could sense.
[[The energies composing the 'essence of an individual zombie', 'Zombie Identifier', or ZID, is a layered matrix of Soul, Concepts, and Mind fragments. When one of the three energies is lacking, they can be formed as the layered matrix stabilizes.]]
…Huh. So that was how these brain dead zombies could eventually become smart enough to enjoy reading a newspaper and talk and stuff.
Well, talk and actually MEAN something. These other basics were ALSO saying 'brains' and whatever, but it was some sort of automated reflex… No thought went into that process from what John could tell.
Step to the right… Missed me! "Bruuuuh!" [[Nice try, little green guy! Missed!]]
~~~Pocket System~~~
Jessica groaned. "He's taunting the plants."
Grace and Temptation kept cheering on John's VERY SLOW dodging skills, ignoring her completely.
Please bro: Please stop taunting the plants. "Solidified spells or not, those things are still made out of Magic. And from what I've seen at Doe's Park, Magic has a tendency to act VERY lifelike even when it shouldn't be able to do so."
John's zombie body, now missing his left arm, shuffled a bit too far to one side… And moved to a new lane without realizing it.
But the plants certainly did. "Grace?"
The angel blinked and looked at her in confusion. "Yes, my Lady?"
She pointed at the green defenders. "Is it just me, or are more and more of those things noticing how John's dodging stuff right now?"
That got both of the girls to pause and then… "Oh dear." "Fuck sis, they look angry…"
Yep. "I think… I think the 'repetitive and dumb behavior' shown by zombies sharing equipment may be less a requirement when using their evolved forms, and more a social contract."
In other words, none of the zombies were FORCED to act the way they did, but chose to do so because 'that is the way things should be.'
A social contract that John was stressing right now…
They all paused when a grumpy looking HUGE squash was placed in front of John by the Homeowner… And then John stepped BACKWARDS to allow another basic zombie to lurch forward and take the smashing in his place.
It was like the world was a record that had just been scratched.
ALL the zombies and ALL the plants were now staring at her little brother. Even a few yards of neighboring zombies and plants undergoing their OWN battle paused to stare in this direction.
John blinked, confused. "Brains?"
The zombies in his row slumped in depression… As ALL the plants suddenly attached John.
At the same time.
From ALL the rows.
INCLUDING rows belonging to OTHER lawns.
Her brother only had a moment to let out a shocked "GAR!?" before he vanished in explosions, firestorms, ice blasts, cobs of corn, flaming peas, thorns…
And as John evaporated from the chaos, so did HUNDREDS of nearby zombies in the process. Most with an exasperated and annoyed look on their faces before they popped/burned/froze/etc.
Then without another word or explanation, the massive number of solidified plant-shaped spells went back to 'normal', as if nothing had happened.
Just… Now they had far less pressure as the vast number of nearby zombies had been eradicated and it was going to take a while for new zombie hoards to stumble their way over to fill in the gaps.
Well. That was apparently a thing. Lovely. "Is John okay?"
Grace was already checking the data. "...I don't think he actually died." She pulled up more screens… "Yes, my Lord is still somewhere out there, but his Soul is now bound more to that 'zombie essence' mix of energy and Magic and Concepts and so forth. Sister, are you getting this data feed?"
The beautiful demoness hummed. "Enough for me to work with, yes. Give me a few days and I should be able to interact with this whole 'evolution' or 'leveling up' system so Master can just download the magical spell matrices for all these zombie types and their equipment."
Jessica frowned as she also began reviewing her brother's recent defeat data. "I thought more energy for his 'evolution' would be available, considering how thoroughly he was attacked just now…"
Grace hummed. "No, it's part of the safety limits… Any Sun beyond the capability for his basic zombie Body would be redirected outwards. It's why the followup explosions managed to have such a huge splash effect on those around him: The excess overflow would spread to other zombies, who would soak up some of the energy before ALSO popping… And so on and so forth."
Hmm. "I assume then he isn't going to be getting his zamboni just yet then?"
She winced. "Considering he only ate a portion of a single wall-nut and then got exploded… No. Not yet, and maybe not for a long time."
~~~Pocket System~~~
John blinked.
Well, not really.
He didn't have eyes.
Or a head.
…Basically he was Bodiless right now.
But also not?
Like, he had an existence at the moment, but he didn't feel like pure Soul or energy.
Couldn't move though, he felt way too heavy to even consider that… And something in his mind was poking him right now.
It was a mixture of energy and interaction and something that tasted like salad and Sunlight… And whatever it was happened to be requesting an answer.
Sleep, Rebirth, or Evolve.
But more than just words, they were options of emotion and consequence. They affected the near future, and needed to be considered carefully.
Sleep, to relax and return to the Sun, to one day awaken once more.
Rebirth. To return to the familiar and the habits of the recent past.
Evolve. The unknown potential of the future… It felt the least stable, but the most exciting.
John should choose his path, and find his way.
Maybe later, being a cloud or whatever was kind of neat!
He should choose.
Oh, he could sort of scoot to one side or the other by oozing himself out and then pulling this bit back in…
He. Should. Choose.
NOW.
EEP! Uh, Evolve! John chooses to Evolve, thank you very much!
And now things have become blurry and… Wait, didn't he get to pick what he evolved into!?
Feelings that implied the options were determined by those who gathered the Sun for the future began to humm in the air and… But John wants a zamboni! Come on, please? He'd be really careful when driving it!
As a basic zombie, those closest to slumber and drifting towards awakening, the empowerment of evolution was a journey of self discovery, a lengthy and never ending quest to… First, John would make a whole ice skating rink of ice with his magical zamboni, that way when the team of zombie bobsleds spawned in behind him they could ALSO zoom around on some ice for fun! It would be so awesome!
There were many steps required and paths to travel before one could… Speaking of the bobsled zombie teams, did they constantly spawn? Like, if John paved an ice path that was fifty yards long, would only ONE team follow behind him or would he end up with fifty teams of four zombies?
John was kicked out metaphorically. Hopefully with a zamboni!
~~~Pocket System~~~
Jessica was growing concerned. "What is taking so long? I thought we estimated that my brother would reform within an hour or less?"
Grace winced. "Well, the connection is a bit unusual right now, so I may be translating the data incorrectly…"
Temptation snorted. "Master is apparently being a nuisance to reality right now. So nothing unusual, but he's accidentally slowing down this whole process REALLY BADLY at this point."
Grace wasn't looking at Jessica. "I'm sure my Lord is just… wishing to learn more and interact with the underlying methods of this reality and how this Sun seems to be an overwatching…"
The demonic beauty cackled! "He just got punted out, back into existence! I can almost HEAR how frustrated the Sun Guidance of the Realm is right now!"
Jessica sighed in relief. "Well it's good to see that he can handle the unusual reincarnation cycle in this place, I was about to just pull him out and… Oh dear." That was not a zamboni.
On screen, John blinked confused… And reach towards his head. "Gar?" [[What the…]]
And now he was holding in his decayed hand… A traffic cone.
And staring at it. "Braaains!" [[LAAAAAME! Not even a bucket!? Come on!]]
Then the zombie considered it a bit more and… "Gar…" [[On the other hand, I get to eat more plants and stuff, and this should keep me safe for longer while eating… Yeah, I can work with…]]
[[Poink!]]
His left arm fell off.
The arm holding his traffic cone hat.
Which should have been on his head, to absorb the incoming pea damage.
John stared in confusion at his dropped limb/headwear. "Bruh?" [[Huh?]]
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
And his head popped off.
Apparently the Homeowner had set up SEVERAL gatling peas while John had been standing on that lawn staring at his hat.
Grace winced. "Oh dear."
Temptation was giggling like crazy! "Hee… Why did… HA! WHY take off your hat while ON the lawn!? I can't believe it… Oh. He's back already! It looks like this Realm doesn't want to put up with Master anymore during the reincarnation process, I barely managed to document his transition this time…"
Jessica sighed at the sight of her brother ranting at the distant plants that had just shot him, which for non-living things were currently looking more than a little smug. "I'm going to go back to reviewing our data for Crazy Dave. Please keep an eye on my brother while I'm focusing on that."
Grace nodded. "Of course I shall, my Lady!" "When DON'T you ogle our Master, you voyeur…" "SISTER!" "I'm just saying, I've seen your 'security log compilations'..."
Okay… Moving on!
Let's come up with some way to detect this impossible local human without the sensors screaming about pudding or his chinese brothers, 'Brave Dave' and 'Evil Dave'. Not that she could detect them, or even confirm that China EXISTED in this Realm at all…
A spike of power flooded John's body. "Grrrrr?" [[The heck was that?]]
Felt like he had just taken a shot of espresso mixed with an energy drink and a taser! Damn, whatever that was just flooded his basic zombie Body with more Sun than he'd eaten for the last ten minutes!
He slowly shifted his sluggish body to face forwards again, looking at the mostly consumed wall-nut and… [[Poink!]]
Oh. It was a pea shaped magical projectile. One that ignored the nut it just phased through entirely, and then sort of injected itself directly into his corpse. Tingly.
Apparently the situation farther along the lawn had been handled and now there would be projectiles to deal with if John wanted to eat anything further today. Which was fine, this was more a data gathering mission than an actual attempt to consume the Homeowner.
Speaking of these peashooters, they had a heck of a lot of power in just one shot too! Didn't seem to harm him though, so why were OTHER zombies falling apart just from being poked by these things?
…Well, let's find out!
John tried to grin (His face wasn't that flexible at the moment) and held up his left arm to catch the next… [[Poink!]]
His arm fell off.
…What? System, what just happened!?
[[Body component 'Arm-L' has become oversaturated with energy. Local safety protocols activated.]]
Safety protocols!? WHAT safety protocols!?
[[To protect the essence of an individual zombie, when Sun saturation reaches dangerous levels excess amounts are stored within a disposable limb, item, or vehicle for disposal. When current Body reaches critical levels without any safe methods to expel excess energy, the Body itself is discarded while the Zombie is reborn and potentially offered the opportunity to evolve.]]
John absently shifted his slow body, managing to dodge the next pea… And apparently that confused the HELL out of the plants in the row.
Which was odd, considering they were just solidified spells, but whatever… Oh dear, now the peashooter looked frustrated!
John tried to preemptively judge where the next shot would be aimed. "Braaains?" [[Hey system, what is the 'essence of an individual zombie'? Are we talking about their Souls?]]
Because most of these 'basic zombies' didn't seem to HAVE a Soul, as far as he could sense.
[[The energies composing the 'essence of an individual zombie', 'Zombie Identifier', or ZID, is a layered matrix of Soul, Concepts, and Mind fragments. When one of the three energies is lacking, they can be formed as the layered matrix stabilizes.]]
…Huh. So that was how these brain dead zombies could eventually become smart enough to enjoy reading a newspaper and talk and stuff.
Well, talk and actually MEAN something. These other basics were ALSO saying 'brains' and whatever, but it was some sort of automated reflex… No thought went into that process from what John could tell.
Step to the right… Missed me! "Bruuuuh!" [[Nice try, little green guy! Missed!]]
~~~Pocket System~~~
Jessica groaned. "He's taunting the plants."
Grace and Temptation kept cheering on John's VERY SLOW dodging skills, ignoring her completely.
Please bro: Please stop taunting the plants. "Solidified spells or not, those things are still made out of Magic. And from what I've seen at Doe's Park, Magic has a tendency to act VERY lifelike even when it shouldn't be able to do so."
John's zombie body, now missing his left arm, shuffled a bit too far to one side… And moved to a new lane without realizing it.
But the plants certainly did. "Grace?"
The angel blinked and looked at her in confusion. "Yes, my Lady?"
She pointed at the green defenders. "Is it just me, or are more and more of those things noticing how John's dodging stuff right now?"
That got both of the girls to pause and then… "Oh dear." "Fuck sis, they look angry…"
Yep. "I think… I think the 'repetitive and dumb behavior' shown by zombies sharing equipment may be less a requirement when using their evolved forms, and more a social contract."
In other words, none of the zombies were FORCED to act the way they did, but chose to do so because 'that is the way things should be.'
A social contract that John was stressing right now…
They all paused when a grumpy looking HUGE squash was placed in front of John by the Homeowner… And then John stepped BACKWARDS to allow another basic zombie to lurch forward and take the smashing in his place.
It was like the world was a record that had just been scratched.
ALL the zombies and ALL the plants were now staring at her little brother. Even a few yards of neighboring zombies and plants undergoing their OWN battle paused to stare in this direction.
John blinked, confused. "Brains?"
The zombies in his row slumped in depression… As ALL the plants suddenly attached John.
At the same time.
From ALL the rows.
INCLUDING rows belonging to OTHER lawns.
Her brother only had a moment to let out a shocked "GAR!?" before he vanished in explosions, firestorms, ice blasts, cobs of corn, flaming peas, thorns…
And as John evaporated from the chaos, so did HUNDREDS of nearby zombies in the process. Most with an exasperated and annoyed look on their faces before they popped/burned/froze/etc.
Then without another word or explanation, the massive number of solidified plant-shaped spells went back to 'normal', as if nothing had happened.
Just… Now they had far less pressure as the vast number of nearby zombies had been eradicated and it was going to take a while for new zombie hoards to stumble their way over to fill in the gaps.
Well. That was apparently a thing. Lovely. "Is John okay?"
Grace was already checking the data. "...I don't think he actually died." She pulled up more screens… "Yes, my Lord is still somewhere out there, but his Soul is now bound more to that 'zombie essence' mix of energy and Magic and Concepts and so forth. Sister, are you getting this data feed?"
The beautiful demoness hummed. "Enough for me to work with, yes. Give me a few days and I should be able to interact with this whole 'evolution' or 'leveling up' system so Master can just download the magical spell matrices for all these zombie types and their equipment."
Jessica frowned as she also began reviewing her brother's recent defeat data. "I thought more energy for his 'evolution' would be available, considering how thoroughly he was attacked just now…"
Grace hummed. "No, it's part of the safety limits… Any Sun beyond the capability for his basic zombie Body would be redirected outwards. It's why the followup explosions managed to have such a huge splash effect on those around him: The excess overflow would spread to other zombies, who would soak up some of the energy before ALSO popping… And so on and so forth."
Hmm. "I assume then he isn't going to be getting his zamboni just yet then?"
She winced. "Considering he only ate a portion of a single wall-nut and then got exploded… No. Not yet, and maybe not for a long time."
~~~Pocket System~~~
John blinked.
Well, not really.
He didn't have eyes.
Or a head.
…Basically he was Bodiless right now.
But also not?
Like, he had an existence at the moment, but he didn't feel like pure Soul or energy.
Couldn't move though, he felt way too heavy to even consider that… And something in his mind was poking him right now.
It was a mixture of energy and interaction and something that tasted like salad and Sunlight… And whatever it was happened to be requesting an answer.
Sleep, Rebirth, or Evolve.
But more than just words, they were options of emotion and consequence. They affected the near future, and needed to be considered carefully.
Sleep, to relax and return to the Sun, to one day awaken once more.
Rebirth. To return to the familiar and the habits of the recent past.
Evolve. The unknown potential of the future… It felt the least stable, but the most exciting.
John should choose his path, and find his way.
Maybe later, being a cloud or whatever was kind of neat!
He should choose.
Oh, he could sort of scoot to one side or the other by oozing himself out and then pulling this bit back in…
He. Should. Choose.
NOW.
EEP! Uh, Evolve! John chooses to Evolve, thank you very much!
And now things have become blurry and… Wait, didn't he get to pick what he evolved into!?
Feelings that implied the options were determined by those who gathered the Sun for the future began to humm in the air and… But John wants a zamboni! Come on, please? He'd be really careful when driving it!
As a basic zombie, those closest to slumber and drifting towards awakening, the empowerment of evolution was a journey of self discovery, a lengthy and never ending quest to… First, John would make a whole ice skating rink of ice with his magical zamboni, that way when the team of zombie bobsleds spawned in behind him they could ALSO zoom around on some ice for fun! It would be so awesome!
There were many steps required and paths to travel before one could… Speaking of the bobsled zombie teams, did they constantly spawn? Like, if John paved an ice path that was fifty yards long, would only ONE team follow behind him or would he end up with fifty teams of four zombies?
John was kicked out metaphorically. Hopefully with a zamboni!
~~~Pocket System~~~
Jessica was growing concerned. "What is taking so long? I thought we estimated that my brother would reform within an hour or less?"
Grace winced. "Well, the connection is a bit unusual right now, so I may be translating the data incorrectly…"
Temptation snorted. "Master is apparently being a nuisance to reality right now. So nothing unusual, but he's accidentally slowing down this whole process REALLY BADLY at this point."
Grace wasn't looking at Jessica. "I'm sure my Lord is just… wishing to learn more and interact with the underlying methods of this reality and how this Sun seems to be an overwatching…"
The demonic beauty cackled! "He just got punted out, back into existence! I can almost HEAR how frustrated the Sun Guidance of the Realm is right now!"
Jessica sighed in relief. "Well it's good to see that he can handle the unusual reincarnation cycle in this place, I was about to just pull him out and… Oh dear." That was not a zamboni.
On screen, John blinked confused… And reach towards his head. "Gar?" [[What the…]]
And now he was holding in his decayed hand… A traffic cone.
And staring at it. "Braaains!" [[LAAAAAME! Not even a bucket!? Come on!]]
Then the zombie considered it a bit more and… "Gar…" [[On the other hand, I get to eat more plants and stuff, and this should keep me safe for longer while eating… Yeah, I can work with…]]
[[Poink!]]
His left arm fell off.
The arm holding his traffic cone hat.
Which should have been on his head, to absorb the incoming pea damage.
John stared in confusion at his dropped limb/headwear. "Bruh?" [[Huh?]]
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
And his head popped off.
Apparently the Homeowner had set up SEVERAL gatling peas while John had been standing on that lawn staring at his hat.
Grace winced. "Oh dear."
Temptation was giggling like crazy! "Hee… Why did… HA! WHY take off your hat while ON the lawn!? I can't believe it… Oh. He's back already! It looks like this Realm doesn't want to put up with Master anymore during the reincarnation process, I barely managed to document his transition this time…"
Jessica sighed at the sight of her brother ranting at the distant plants that had just shot him, which for non-living things were currently looking more than a little smug. "I'm going to go back to reviewing our data for Crazy Dave. Please keep an eye on my brother while I'm focusing on that."
Grace nodded. "Of course I shall, my Lady!" "When DON'T you ogle our Master, you voyeur…" "SISTER!" "I'm just saying, I've seen your 'security log compilations'..."
Okay… Moving on!
Let's come up with some way to detect this impossible local human without the sensors screaming about pudding or his chinese brothers, 'Brave Dave' and 'Evil Dave'. Not that she could detect them, or even confirm that China EXISTED in this Realm at all…
Last edited:
- Location
- Sol;Terra;EU;D;NRW
Carefull if you look too closely into Dave the Dave Conspiracy may find John.
For more information on Dave please consult your nearest Doctor Narbon.
Alfalfala required on threat of giant mutant gerbil secretary.
For more information on Dave please consult your nearest Doctor Narbon.
Alfalfala required on threat of giant mutant gerbil secretary.
Well... if you mean that the realm really doesn't like John, then yes. But if you mean that the realm secretly "likes" likes him, no. The realm really does want John to just go away. But currently all it can do is punt him back into action so he doesn't have the opportunity to either annoy, or join it (sleep)
Here comes the Sun…
- Location
- Here
The plants were getting sassy, damn it!
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
At least they were sticking to the 'rules', no random shots from the 'wrong' lanes and stuff, but John was SURE they were somehow sharing information between each other!
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
EVERY new lawn he went to would somehow discover John wasn't a 'normal' conehead and then BAM, the green hammer would come down! Literally if there was a squash or two to target him!
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
Thankfully he had managed to evolve up to this surprisingly sturdy (If a bit crumpled by now) steel bucket/helmet, so hopefully THIS time he'd get close enough to taste one of those…
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
[[P'TANG!]]
The bucket evaporated into raw energy after being 'destroyed' by all the incoming 'damage'.
…Crap. "Gaaaar…?" [[I don't suppose any of you are willing to go easy on me?]]
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
[[POP!]]
AHH! My left arm fell off AGAIN! That's my second favorite arm!
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
Curse you, plant based solidified spell matrices! CURSE YOU!
[[POP!]]
~~~Pocket System~~~
Grace glanced over at John's head popping off. "I think the plants are starting to go easy on him…"
Jessica kept working while Temptation continued trying to alter the System sensing modules to better detect the crazy probably-human hobo nearby. "Are you sure? It may be his new bucket keeping him alive longer."
The angel shook her head. "No, I'm pretty sure it's not just the bucket. Look at the plants themselves, see? They aren't nearly as satisfied and smug as they were twenty or so 'kills' ago. I think they have short term communal memory, or something close enough to fake it, and our Lord is slowly being forgotten after all these recent eating attempts."
Temptation shifted her work to the side, pulling up the imagery… "Maybe. Or at least they are having trouble keeping track of which one of these zombies Master has incarnated into…"
She paused, considering… "Should I tell him that I've managed to collect copies of all the 'upgrade' patterns? Thanks to him popping into and out of the reincarnation cycle so often, I mean."
Grace shrugged. "Maybe later, I think he's having fun right now even if he is frustrated. And just giving him the prize would spoil the experience of earning it… After all, I'm sure our Lord could simply scan one of the zamboni's while they are in use if he only wanted a free copy."
Temptation gave that a thought… "Unless he hasn't realized that was an option?"
On screen, John was already lumbering forward with a new bucket. "RAWR!" [[Let's see you bastards try that again! With my newest bucket, I am INVINCIBLE!]]
A WAVE of produce weaponry began to assault him even as he cackled and claimed dominance over the garden that was wrecking him.
Grace sighed. "Trust me, he's having fun. And even if it isn't productive, our Lord needed time to unwind and enjoy himself anyhow… Even our Lady Jessica is relaxing for once, as there isn't much danger here and her agents are off exploring while she handles her own projects."
Meh, fair enough. "You won't hear ME arguing that we should work harder sis… Not outside the bedroom, at least. As Master's demonic woman, it's my responsibility to properly portray all the lovely sins… especially sloth!"
Her sister snorted. "You wanting to be lazy isn't something to be proud of, sister."
Meh, whatever. "I'm going to get more snacks and work my way up to glorifying gluttony, would you like some cupcakes?"
Grace wasn't fully paying attention. "Yes please… I MEAN NO! I already had lunch, I do NOT need more sugary…"
Ha! "All I'm hearing is 'Yes I would love a dozen or so cupcakes my lovely sister', feel free to say no when they are within snacking distance…"
She huffed. "You live up to your name, you know that? And I really shouldn't eat any more anyways, I'll get fat."
Temptation snorted. "No, you'll get plump and squishable and have more cushion for the pushin. And we can alter our bodies with ease anyway, so why not have a tiny snack or two?" Or a dozen, or more…
Grace waived… Almost there… "Maybe just one…"
HA! SOLD! "One dozen cupcakes, coming up!" "Sister, no!" "Sister YES you mean! Muah ha ha ha!"
~~~Pocket System~~~
Once more, John was a fog in a Sun filled nowhere.
A mixture of energy and interaction and something that tasted like salad and Sunlight no longer bothered to commune with the oddness of this one as he passed through, time after time, learning little and gaining less.
And every passage was filled with concepts and thoughts.
Of zambonis.
Synchronized as they glide over the ice...
Prototypes that were so massive, it inspired disbelief!
Laws that forced them to have headlights...
Zambonis on parade!
Over and over, growing ever more unhinged with every pass, this odd one would leave behind growing layers of insanity and madness as he was reborn.
Eventually, even this place had limits.
As John babbled about zambonis in the fog… The options were not given. Not all of them.
Instead, he was being gently moved over towards Sleep.
To relax, to fall apart into energy and Sun and slumber until he awoke once more.
Hopefully sane this time.
If at all possible.
Then he'd be more calm and easier to… But John wasn't tired.
No child ever wished to take nap time, but it was important that… If he took a nap NOW, could he sleep in a zamboni? Please?
No. Sleep requires the releasing of excess energy, an unbinding of all woes and stress and… Then he wasn't going to! Zamboni or bust, thank you very much!
Advance evolutions required SIGNIFICANT Sun collection, and a focus and drive severely lacking in John's recent… What was he SUPPOSED to do!? All he had was a bucket!
The bucket was both a powerful defense and a wonderful collection method for Sun consumed from plantlife and… But a bucket wasn't a zamboni. Not even close! Come on, just… Please.
There is insufficient energy to… So that's the only problem? John doesn't have enough Sun?
….Yes.
The cloud of fog that was and was not John considered this carefully… For a few seconds.
Then it pushed itself further away from Sleep. Make me able to gather more Sun then.
…What?
A non-child nodded. If John needed more Sun, and it was going to take FOREVER to get enough with only a bucket, then let's go with something else! There has to be a better option than this, a faster path towards the glory of zambonis!
Such a thing would be very unusual and defy all existing precedent and… Come on! Please?
No, this was the only path. Only after enough Sun was gathered and consumed could he… What about Sunflowers then? How do THEY make MORE Sun after they were bought? Couldn't he do that as a zombie? Become something like a Sun-bie or something?
What? Of course not! The patterns for extracting excess ambient Sun efficiently for local gathering and collection needed to establish a basic sunflower were incompatible entirely with the undead vegetarians, attempting to combine the two would be absurd and… Is this the pattern for a Sunflower?
…Yes?
Fog John focused on said pattern… And vanished.
…What?
WHAT!?
~~~Pocket System~~~
Grace jerked back from her work! "WHAT!? HOW!?"
Temptation looked up, shocked. "Huh? What happened?"
The angel threw up her hands! "I don't KNOW! This shouldn't be POSSIBLE!"
The demoness nodded. "So business like usual for Master?"
Grace threw a pillow before frantically recording EVERYTHING.
Which was hard, considering how many data feeds 'everything' had to cover now.
~~~Pocket System~~~
John blinked. Huh.
He looked to one side. And saw himself.
And to the other side. Also himself.
They waved leaves at each other.
So. Uh.
Apparently he overwrote the 'basic template' of Sunflowers.
Neat!
Also: Hopefully a temporary trick.
Because right now, he had a LOT of brothers out there.
ALL of him could see MORE of him in almost every yard. Only the ones in darkness, where sun-shrooms stared out into the sunlight at what Johns were in the area… Only there lacked his new and glorious presence.
Couldn't talk though. He looked like had a mouth, but it was just part of his face. Their faces. All of his faces?
At least he was used to being a large number of one persons, so this didn't give him a headache or anything.
ANYWAY, let's see here… Sun was provided when planted, of course. And he could taste new energy from above as expected… And a bit from the area surrounding them, and even a trace of Sun from the Soil and Water, since some of him were planted on lily pads…
Then he just sort of braided the energy like THIS and shifted it more like THAT and… Boom! Sun packaged together and ready to share out into the world!
Even WITH the surge of power, there was so much excess that globs of glowing power would randomly shine from his petals for the many Homeowners to collect.
This way he HAD to earn enough to get a zamboni! Right? Yeah, most likely!
~~~Pocket System~~~
Jessica bounced into the virtual conference room with a smile! "So I'm pretty sure I've got a 'gut feeling' module put down, that can at least notify us when there are things we can't or SHOULDN'T detect within range of us while out in the field, and while it won't let us just instantly map out people like 'Crazy Dave', it should let us be aware he exists in the first place to keep us from being caught off guard!"
Grace didn't even respond… And that brought her down QUICK. "What happened Grace?"
The angel pointed at the odd wall of spots. "Our Lord may have acted a bit spontaneously."
…Oh dear. "I thought he was just enjoying a bit of 'hardcore salad collection', wasn't he?"
Temptation nodded. "I recorded his most recent cycle towards what was supposed to be his rebirth, but the data collected goes REALLY odd at the end… And you can see why."
No she couldn't. "I assume it has to do with this projected image?" What were the dots even supposed to be in the shape of anyway? Was this one of those color blindness tests, and there was a number or word or something she couldn't read?
Grace sighed. "That isn't an image, that's our monitoring module."
…What? "I'm sorry, I don't understand."
The wall of dots zoomed in… And in… And in… And… It showed a sunflower?
Grace pointed. "That is John now."
Huh?
But it didn't stop there. Grace pressed something, and a different lawn came up. "So is this." And another. "And him. And these four. And those three. And so on and so forth."
Temptation grinned! "At first we thought the entire overwatch setup was crashing, but the REAL problem is that we didn't EXPECT for Master to suddenly explode into a multitude of people unexpectedly! Or I guess, plants in this case."
Jessica stared at a very cheerful sunflower, one that she felt looked decidedly John-ish in behavior. "I… I thought the plants were non-sentient solidified Magic spells?"
Grace growled. "They ARE! Or at least they WERE until our Lord somehow DEFINED himself AS the core essence of ALL sunflowers! Now every SINGLE one of them is also your brother… And somehow they are all fine with this, and talking with each other, and streaming data to the Pocket for us to look over…"
Temptation grinned as she typed something on her holographic interface. "I'm pretty sure reality is having a small heart attack or something, from my infiltrated data feeds it is VERY confused right now!"
Jessica felt stress returning like an old friend. "Forget reality, I MYSELF feel more than slightly confused. HOW is his Soul connected to…" She gestured at the wall of brothers. "ALL that!?"
Grace sighed as she kept working. "I'm not exactly sure… But I think he managed to find the core Concept of Sunflowers and sort of… Overlapped THAT bit, which distributed his pattern to all these leafy things as part of him."
Good grief. "Can we call him back and make sure he's alright?"
She winced. "Yes? Uh… When we find the 'prime' one. If there IS a prime one… Right now, if we just tried to recall, we would be pulling out EVERY Sun-John planted out there at once. It would probably cause problems… Might cause the Realm to flip its lid too, which would be bad."
Jessica blinked… And turned back to the massive 'image' of John-dots. "This grid of video streams is NOT sorted? And the 'core essence' that John bonded himself with is just sort of… Mixed into that mess?"
The nod made her want to punch something. "...Let me get my Agents to review all these data feeds first then. While they do what they can to speed up that process, you girls can hopefully verify my work on the 'gut feeling' module… And then maybe use THAT to cheat a bit and quickly find the right John even faster."
It was worth a shot, at least.
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
At least they were sticking to the 'rules', no random shots from the 'wrong' lanes and stuff, but John was SURE they were somehow sharing information between each other!
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
EVERY new lawn he went to would somehow discover John wasn't a 'normal' conehead and then BAM, the green hammer would come down! Literally if there was a squash or two to target him!
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
Thankfully he had managed to evolve up to this surprisingly sturdy (If a bit crumpled by now) steel bucket/helmet, so hopefully THIS time he'd get close enough to taste one of those…
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
[[P'TANG!]]
The bucket evaporated into raw energy after being 'destroyed' by all the incoming 'damage'.
…Crap. "Gaaaar…?" [[I don't suppose any of you are willing to go easy on me?]]
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
[[POP!]]
AHH! My left arm fell off AGAIN! That's my second favorite arm!
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
Curse you, plant based solidified spell matrices! CURSE YOU!
[[POP!]]
~~~Pocket System~~~
Grace glanced over at John's head popping off. "I think the plants are starting to go easy on him…"
Jessica kept working while Temptation continued trying to alter the System sensing modules to better detect the crazy probably-human hobo nearby. "Are you sure? It may be his new bucket keeping him alive longer."
The angel shook her head. "No, I'm pretty sure it's not just the bucket. Look at the plants themselves, see? They aren't nearly as satisfied and smug as they were twenty or so 'kills' ago. I think they have short term communal memory, or something close enough to fake it, and our Lord is slowly being forgotten after all these recent eating attempts."
Temptation shifted her work to the side, pulling up the imagery… "Maybe. Or at least they are having trouble keeping track of which one of these zombies Master has incarnated into…"
She paused, considering… "Should I tell him that I've managed to collect copies of all the 'upgrade' patterns? Thanks to him popping into and out of the reincarnation cycle so often, I mean."
Grace shrugged. "Maybe later, I think he's having fun right now even if he is frustrated. And just giving him the prize would spoil the experience of earning it… After all, I'm sure our Lord could simply scan one of the zamboni's while they are in use if he only wanted a free copy."
Temptation gave that a thought… "Unless he hasn't realized that was an option?"
On screen, John was already lumbering forward with a new bucket. "RAWR!" [[Let's see you bastards try that again! With my newest bucket, I am INVINCIBLE!]]
A WAVE of produce weaponry began to assault him even as he cackled and claimed dominance over the garden that was wrecking him.
Grace sighed. "Trust me, he's having fun. And even if it isn't productive, our Lord needed time to unwind and enjoy himself anyhow… Even our Lady Jessica is relaxing for once, as there isn't much danger here and her agents are off exploring while she handles her own projects."
Meh, fair enough. "You won't hear ME arguing that we should work harder sis… Not outside the bedroom, at least. As Master's demonic woman, it's my responsibility to properly portray all the lovely sins… especially sloth!"
Her sister snorted. "You wanting to be lazy isn't something to be proud of, sister."
Meh, whatever. "I'm going to get more snacks and work my way up to glorifying gluttony, would you like some cupcakes?"
Grace wasn't fully paying attention. "Yes please… I MEAN NO! I already had lunch, I do NOT need more sugary…"
Ha! "All I'm hearing is 'Yes I would love a dozen or so cupcakes my lovely sister', feel free to say no when they are within snacking distance…"
She huffed. "You live up to your name, you know that? And I really shouldn't eat any more anyways, I'll get fat."
Temptation snorted. "No, you'll get plump and squishable and have more cushion for the pushin. And we can alter our bodies with ease anyway, so why not have a tiny snack or two?" Or a dozen, or more…
Grace waived… Almost there… "Maybe just one…"
HA! SOLD! "One dozen cupcakes, coming up!" "Sister, no!" "Sister YES you mean! Muah ha ha ha!"
~~~Pocket System~~~
Once more, John was a fog in a Sun filled nowhere.
A mixture of energy and interaction and something that tasted like salad and Sunlight no longer bothered to commune with the oddness of this one as he passed through, time after time, learning little and gaining less.
And every passage was filled with concepts and thoughts.
Of zambonis.
Synchronized as they glide over the ice...
Prototypes that were so massive, it inspired disbelief!
Laws that forced them to have headlights...
Zambonis on parade!
Over and over, growing ever more unhinged with every pass, this odd one would leave behind growing layers of insanity and madness as he was reborn.
Eventually, even this place had limits.
As John babbled about zambonis in the fog… The options were not given. Not all of them.
Instead, he was being gently moved over towards Sleep.
To relax, to fall apart into energy and Sun and slumber until he awoke once more.
Hopefully sane this time.
If at all possible.
Then he'd be more calm and easier to… But John wasn't tired.
No child ever wished to take nap time, but it was important that… If he took a nap NOW, could he sleep in a zamboni? Please?
No. Sleep requires the releasing of excess energy, an unbinding of all woes and stress and… Then he wasn't going to! Zamboni or bust, thank you very much!
Advance evolutions required SIGNIFICANT Sun collection, and a focus and drive severely lacking in John's recent… What was he SUPPOSED to do!? All he had was a bucket!
The bucket was both a powerful defense and a wonderful collection method for Sun consumed from plantlife and… But a bucket wasn't a zamboni. Not even close! Come on, just… Please.
There is insufficient energy to… So that's the only problem? John doesn't have enough Sun?
….Yes.
The cloud of fog that was and was not John considered this carefully… For a few seconds.
Then it pushed itself further away from Sleep. Make me able to gather more Sun then.
…What?
A non-child nodded. If John needed more Sun, and it was going to take FOREVER to get enough with only a bucket, then let's go with something else! There has to be a better option than this, a faster path towards the glory of zambonis!
Such a thing would be very unusual and defy all existing precedent and… Come on! Please?
No, this was the only path. Only after enough Sun was gathered and consumed could he… What about Sunflowers then? How do THEY make MORE Sun after they were bought? Couldn't he do that as a zombie? Become something like a Sun-bie or something?
What? Of course not! The patterns for extracting excess ambient Sun efficiently for local gathering and collection needed to establish a basic sunflower were incompatible entirely with the undead vegetarians, attempting to combine the two would be absurd and… Is this the pattern for a Sunflower?
…Yes?
Fog John focused on said pattern… And vanished.
…What?
WHAT!?
~~~Pocket System~~~
Grace jerked back from her work! "WHAT!? HOW!?"
Temptation looked up, shocked. "Huh? What happened?"
The angel threw up her hands! "I don't KNOW! This shouldn't be POSSIBLE!"
The demoness nodded. "So business like usual for Master?"
Grace threw a pillow before frantically recording EVERYTHING.
Which was hard, considering how many data feeds 'everything' had to cover now.
~~~Pocket System~~~
John blinked. Huh.
He looked to one side. And saw himself.
And to the other side. Also himself.
They waved leaves at each other.
So. Uh.
Apparently he overwrote the 'basic template' of Sunflowers.
Neat!
Also: Hopefully a temporary trick.
Because right now, he had a LOT of brothers out there.
ALL of him could see MORE of him in almost every yard. Only the ones in darkness, where sun-shrooms stared out into the sunlight at what Johns were in the area… Only there lacked his new and glorious presence.
Couldn't talk though. He looked like had a mouth, but it was just part of his face. Their faces. All of his faces?
At least he was used to being a large number of one persons, so this didn't give him a headache or anything.
ANYWAY, let's see here… Sun was provided when planted, of course. And he could taste new energy from above as expected… And a bit from the area surrounding them, and even a trace of Sun from the Soil and Water, since some of him were planted on lily pads…
Then he just sort of braided the energy like THIS and shifted it more like THAT and… Boom! Sun packaged together and ready to share out into the world!
Even WITH the surge of power, there was so much excess that globs of glowing power would randomly shine from his petals for the many Homeowners to collect.
This way he HAD to earn enough to get a zamboni! Right? Yeah, most likely!
~~~Pocket System~~~
Jessica bounced into the virtual conference room with a smile! "So I'm pretty sure I've got a 'gut feeling' module put down, that can at least notify us when there are things we can't or SHOULDN'T detect within range of us while out in the field, and while it won't let us just instantly map out people like 'Crazy Dave', it should let us be aware he exists in the first place to keep us from being caught off guard!"
Grace didn't even respond… And that brought her down QUICK. "What happened Grace?"
The angel pointed at the odd wall of spots. "Our Lord may have acted a bit spontaneously."
…Oh dear. "I thought he was just enjoying a bit of 'hardcore salad collection', wasn't he?"
Temptation nodded. "I recorded his most recent cycle towards what was supposed to be his rebirth, but the data collected goes REALLY odd at the end… And you can see why."
No she couldn't. "I assume it has to do with this projected image?" What were the dots even supposed to be in the shape of anyway? Was this one of those color blindness tests, and there was a number or word or something she couldn't read?
Grace sighed. "That isn't an image, that's our monitoring module."
…What? "I'm sorry, I don't understand."
The wall of dots zoomed in… And in… And in… And… It showed a sunflower?
Grace pointed. "That is John now."
Huh?
But it didn't stop there. Grace pressed something, and a different lawn came up. "So is this." And another. "And him. And these four. And those three. And so on and so forth."
Temptation grinned! "At first we thought the entire overwatch setup was crashing, but the REAL problem is that we didn't EXPECT for Master to suddenly explode into a multitude of people unexpectedly! Or I guess, plants in this case."
Jessica stared at a very cheerful sunflower, one that she felt looked decidedly John-ish in behavior. "I… I thought the plants were non-sentient solidified Magic spells?"
Grace growled. "They ARE! Or at least they WERE until our Lord somehow DEFINED himself AS the core essence of ALL sunflowers! Now every SINGLE one of them is also your brother… And somehow they are all fine with this, and talking with each other, and streaming data to the Pocket for us to look over…"
Temptation grinned as she typed something on her holographic interface. "I'm pretty sure reality is having a small heart attack or something, from my infiltrated data feeds it is VERY confused right now!"
Jessica felt stress returning like an old friend. "Forget reality, I MYSELF feel more than slightly confused. HOW is his Soul connected to…" She gestured at the wall of brothers. "ALL that!?"
Grace sighed as she kept working. "I'm not exactly sure… But I think he managed to find the core Concept of Sunflowers and sort of… Overlapped THAT bit, which distributed his pattern to all these leafy things as part of him."
Good grief. "Can we call him back and make sure he's alright?"
She winced. "Yes? Uh… When we find the 'prime' one. If there IS a prime one… Right now, if we just tried to recall, we would be pulling out EVERY Sun-John planted out there at once. It would probably cause problems… Might cause the Realm to flip its lid too, which would be bad."
Jessica blinked… And turned back to the massive 'image' of John-dots. "This grid of video streams is NOT sorted? And the 'core essence' that John bonded himself with is just sort of… Mixed into that mess?"
The nod made her want to punch something. "...Let me get my Agents to review all these data feeds first then. While they do what they can to speed up that process, you girls can hopefully verify my work on the 'gut feeling' module… And then maybe use THAT to cheat a bit and quickly find the right John even faster."
It was worth a shot, at least.
I wouldn't be surprised if that explains the existence of Dave. Like, he was once also an old soul that then overlapped with the concept of Store, or Helper or something. Of course, not being as familiar as John at being a multiple, it made him Crazy.
- Location
- Sol;Terra;EU;D;NRW
Dave is Dave, Dave is everywhere.
You probably heard about Dave from HR, IT; the ADAC and so on.
Dave is everywhere and it is totally normal that everyone knows Dave.
Because Dave is normal and Dave is not attempting to take over the World.
On the other hand if John now ends up looking into sunshrooms he will probably have to take over for reality for a bit while that one takes a little mental break.
You probably heard about Dave from HR, IT; the ADAC and so on.
Dave is everywhere and it is totally normal that everyone knows Dave.
Because Dave is normal and Dave is not attempting to take over the World.
On the other hand if John now ends up looking into sunshrooms he will probably have to take over for reality for a bit while that one takes a little mental break.
I feel like there's a gnome conspiracy going on don't know why I just feel like it
- Location
- Paradise, Hawaii
There is Dave's Niece, will Jessica need to Incarnate as a Local to get John from playing in the Yard?
Jessica is going to tempt him with a Zomboni.
Is John developing a habit of Spitting?
A Sunflower spits seeds, will he. He chew gum to spit bullets?
Jessica is going to tempt him with a Zomboni.
Is John developing a habit of Spitting?
A Sunflower spits seeds, will he. He chew gum to spit bullets?
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That groove thang.
- Location
- Here
Sun is shining in my face, there ain't a cloud in the sky! It's stopped rainin', everybody's in the play: And don't you know? It's a beautiful new day! Hey-ey hey!
Sun-John boogied to the groove!
I'm generating Sunshine, wooah! I'm generating Sunshine, woooah! I'm generating Sunshine, woooah… And don't it feel good!?
Mind you, the dance was more than a bit complicated considering that ALL the Sun-Johns were mentally singing DIFFERENT songs at the same time, with unmatching tunes and beats and stuff.
Here comes the Sun, doo-de-doo-doo! Here comes the Sun: And I say? It's alright!
But sometimes the act of dancing is more important than performing well! So even if the billions of Sun-Johns just happened to be humming and grooving to trillions of lyrics, who cared anyway?
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind… It's gonna be a bright [[Bright!]], Bright [[bright!]] Sunshiny day!
Though for some reason Sun-John was starting to feel like the Realm itself was growing more and more exasperated and confused by all his John-ness as the endless flowers boogied down with their bad selves.
Let the sunshine! Let the sunshine in… The sunshine in! WOO!
He didn't actually feel reality rejecting him or anything, nothing that serious… But it was clear that for some reason, beyond Sun-John's ability to understand, the Realm was growing more and more 'done' with his antics.
Sun is shining, the weather is sweet, yeah! Make you wanna move your dancing roots now! To the rescue, here I am… Want you to know, y'all, can you understand?
No clue why.
Meanwhile, in the background… The endless cycles of zombies consuming Sun-Johns continued. And unlike normal plants, which were basically really hard bits of Magic, John himself had enough self awareness to exist on a fundamentally different level than prior Sunflowers.
It was probably fine.
~~~Pocket System~~~
John has Sun, can he has zamboni!?
John ALSO has Sun and was just nommed on, John would ALSO like a zamboni!
Hey, John was here WAY before you other Johns, and he brought a whole BUNCH of Sun! If any John's are getting a zamboni, it would be THIS John!
My Homeowner planted me in the front to slow down the hoard, I don't have enough zamboni Sun yet… Can John get a loan? Or borrow Sun from John or John?
John is not positive that John can be trusted to repay John's loan.
What if John had John vouch for John? He knows John is good for it!
…Well maybe, if he says you're reliable.
HELL no, I wouldn't trust John with my LIFE!
Aww dang it! Couldn't you have played along John? I just need a bit more Sun and I can low ride with the zamboni-ronis! The ice renew crew! The bobsled paving banzai bonanza!
Go generate some ambient Sun like the rest of us John, and YOU other Johns shouldn't encourage him slacking off like this! We don't need Jonns to set bad examples!
John has Sun, but is willing to evolve without requiring that he gets a zamboni.
WHAT!? Madness! He's no John of mine! Wait, wait, let's hear him out first! NO! He's betrayed EVERYTHING zamboni's stand for! Yeah, that John has gone TOO FAR! [[HUSH!]]
…
You may make your claim, lesser of the Johns.
Uh… Thanks? Anyway, I uh… I want one of those catapults instead, please. The rideable ones that launch infinite basketballs to attack stuff.
…What!?
Hey Johns, he's right! Yeah, look up the cheat sheet that Temptation uploaded for us, it doesn't pop up as an alert or anything but we can 'remember' it in real time while she updates it… Well I MYSELF am not getting swayed, this John is team zamboni forever! Meh, magic Zombie Heaven Ice is nice but I want unlimited Zombie Heaven Basketballs! Yeah, go team catapult! You HERETICS!
Hey Johns, I just got eaten, has anyone managed to get their zambonis yet? I brought Sun!
If it was possible for an entire Realm to glare at an army of cheerful sunflower idiots, they'd be doing it SO HARD right now.
Because they CAN'T choose to evolve. Period!
Aww! Why not!? Yeah, why not!? I've got Sun! Do we need more Sun? I can get more Sun!
Only Zombies evolve. Not plants. Plants aren't even real, they are solidified memories of past eons formed from raw power and…
John feels pretty real. Yeah, and before my lawn was consumed I saw like 30 Sun-Johns, and I bet THEY'D argue they were real! Am I real? Hush John, the Johns are talking right now. Hey, don't be mean to the younger Johns! Here, don't cry John, have some of my Sun. Sniff… Thanks John, you're always the best…
It isn't even POSSIBLE for this to happen. The plants do not have enough STRUCTURE to allow awakening, even IF a zombie could choose to sleep into one!
Well that sounds like someone else's problem, really. Yeah! Johns are just built different. Hell yeah, you tell them John! Hey guys, have you tried growing UNDER the water? What, we can do that!? No, it's against the rules. We can only grow on grass, lily pads, and flower pots. Is that a rule, or like… A suggestion? It is a rule! Like, are you SURE? Because I'm pretty sure I managed to plant myself underwater when that snorkel zombie ate my lily pad… Don't break the rules!
What even was this anymore… ALL of you go away.
Sure… After we get our zambonis! Yeah, then we could all race each other or something. Team catapult still wants our rideable basketball launchers! Wait, the what now? Ask John, he found out our girls have been uploading evolution data to our Pocket. I'm here, Johns! And I got Sun… Can I haz zamboni now? Hey John, guess what I just found out! What? If you choose to be reborn and force your new Sun to twist like [[this]], you end up being planted with TWO heads! WAIT, WHAT!?
Oh no.
Yeah! Both heads are just Johns, but technically the same John just split in half and regrown or whatever. That way we can earn double the Sun for double the zambonis! Yeah, but the other John will still be you, and everyone knows how annoying we Johns can me. Yeah. True. Hey! I happen to LIKE most of the Johns! Yeah, but only in moderate doses, right? Fair.
…Were there now going to be even MORE of these insane plants entering the reincarnation cycle!? Why!? ARGH!
John here! Got sun too, can John haz zamboni? Oh hey John, come join us over here in team Catapult. Team what now?
ALL OF YOU, CHOOSE [[REBIRTH!]] NOW! GET OUT!
…Silence.
Glorious, glorious silence as the countless Sun-Johns vanished from these mists and sprouted out on endless lawns.
…For a few moments at least.
John's here and I brought the SUN! Who's ready to get this zamboni started!? …Hello? Where is everybody?
The Realm wanted to glare BADLY!
~~~Pocket System~~~
It had been HOURS since her SPYRAL agents had discovered which of the MANY data feeds belonged to her brother prime, or Sun-John Plant #0 as they called him, and now after a LOT of work she was pretty sure they had updated ALL the modules to better handle such crazy situations from now on! Never again would they lose track of her brother in a sea of unexpected siblings!
And as he seemed to be having fun doing impossible things, that finally left Jessica with enough time to work with Grace and get this 'Gut Feeling' module tested, corrected, and officially ready for ongoing future use.
And now, after many MANY small modifications… Jessica grinned! "Run the module again, Grace!" Please work… PLEASE work this time!
Her brother's angelic girlfriend was smiling right back at her, despite her exhaustion! "I'm getting readings… Module remains stable… No signs of explosive cascade failures this time… I think we're good!"
FINALLY! "How does the new sensor data look compared to the past attempts? I know prior detection mapping only had partial results or false positives, is it any better with this new setup?"
Grace nodded! "Yes, the range is MUCH wider and the marked areas of probable targets are far more focused compared to before! It looks like there are variants of Dave distributed pretty evenly every thousand or so lawns… Although they still mess up our sensors to the point where I can't examine them properly."
She snorted. "Not important, the point is we can DETECT that they exist now! I don't care if he is an immortal consuming solidified 'plant' spells or some sort of solidified Concept of this Realm that ensures a guided path towards Homeowner development… I'm just glad we aren't BLIND to him entirely anymore."
From the side, Temptation coughed as she shifted in her seat. "So the new detection modules are up and running? We got everything we wanted from here? I've already scanned John's data connection to the reincarnation cycle, so we have templates for all the zombie variants and plant spell matrices and stuff…"
Jessica slowly turned and looked at the 'innocent' demoness. "Temptation?"
Not even a flinch. "Yes, Mistress?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Is there something you'd like to tell your sister and me? Are you hiding something?"
The black beauty shifted in place, trying to look cool and collected. "I mean, maybe a few things… If you two are not super busy with more System module modifications and stuff, I mean. It's not a big deal, and I have it under control. Probably."
Oh no.
Grace was barely awake at this point. "Sister, whatever it is that has gone wrong now… I leave it in the hands of my Lady. I am too tired to deal with whatever… THIS-ness that is going on right now. My Lady, I will be disconnecting from the virtual network and getting some sleep, please wake me if my Lord returns…"
Jessica waved her off and turned back to Temptation. "Is John in danger?"
NOW the woman flinched. "Not… Not exactly? Not yet, at least. But uh… We may have to leave soon."
…Of course they would. "I thought the Realm had been reacting to John's craziness pretty passively, that it seemed safe to let him continue to experiment…"
Temptation sighed. "That was before the billions of plant copies began to somehow begin slipping into the reincarnation cycle like the zombies do. It took a while before one of the Sun-Johns learned the trick, but he shared it with ALL the Johns and well…"
Oh for goodness sake. "Is my brother spamming the Zombie Afterlife with plant siblings?"
A nod. "All of them want their own zambonis, too. Well, most of them… There's a growing coalition that argues that only Team Catapult can truly represent the peak of manliness, or zombiness or plantliness or whatever, but over 99% of them are pestering reality itself for their new toy."
Damn it John. "Is the entire Realm going to turn on us?"
Thankfully the woman shook her head. "No, but uh… He might get banned from being reborn or evolving soon, forcing all of them to sleep. And then we'd have billions of Sun-Johns all taking naps at the same time, at least until the Realm discovered the ORIGINAL John merged with the Sunflower Archetype and then punts HIM out, which should revert all the spells back to normal but also shove my Master into permanent timeout."
Well considering how much a headache this was all turning into, maybe he SHOULD just sit down and think about what he's done.
Sigh… Whatever. It wasn't like he hurt anything, and even the Realm itself was apparently just exasperated and not angry or whatever. "When he pushes the world too far, let him stay in 'time out' a bit so this place can feel satisfied that they were able to 'handle' John's craziness. He's so hyped up on Sun right now, I'm pretty sure it is a hundred times worse than a normal sugar rush…"
Not to mention, if Jessica just bailed her brother out immediately when put into timeout for pestering the foundations of existence, that could both anger the Realm AND be considered pretty insulting. Better to let reality get a few words in on her brother for causing such a mess first so they could all Transfer somewhere else on good terms.
The fact that it would give her and the girls time to get some actual REST instead of watching over an endless ocean of little brothers to ensure their safety would just be the icing on the cake, really.
Speaking of her new veggie-brothers… "Are they all coming with us? When we leave, I mean."
Temptation sighed. "I'm not sure. They may not even technically exist, as they are all just magical constructs solidified using a tainted John infused sunflower 'plant' as the Source and don't even have individual Souls, but just in case? I've had backups of all their Minds added to the Pocket System Archives."
Jessica considered that.. .And blinked. "They have no Souls? Are you saying that if John disconnected from the Essense of Sunflower right now, then ALL this collected Sun would go solely to HIM instead of all these Sun-Johns as they revert?"
She nodded. "Yep."
Oh for pete's sake! "So he has already had more than enough Sun to evolve and gain a zamboni for a long time now."
Temptation smirked. "He earned enough Sun for THAT within seconds of becoming all those plants, yes."
…Nope. "I'm out. Wake me up in a few hours when my brother gets put in timeout for accidentally dominating an entire Realm's plant based utilities equivalent to an electrical grid. And please have some coffee for me whenever I eventually wake up, thank you."
The woman nodded with a grin. "Yes, Mistress! Goodnight, sleep well!"
Here's hoping. "Goodnight, Temptation."
This whole chaotic mess could be FUTURE Jessica's problem, thank you very much!
Sun-John boogied to the groove!
I'm generating Sunshine, wooah! I'm generating Sunshine, woooah! I'm generating Sunshine, woooah… And don't it feel good!?
Mind you, the dance was more than a bit complicated considering that ALL the Sun-Johns were mentally singing DIFFERENT songs at the same time, with unmatching tunes and beats and stuff.
Here comes the Sun, doo-de-doo-doo! Here comes the Sun: And I say? It's alright!
But sometimes the act of dancing is more important than performing well! So even if the billions of Sun-Johns just happened to be humming and grooving to trillions of lyrics, who cared anyway?
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind… It's gonna be a bright [[Bright!]], Bright [[bright!]] Sunshiny day!
Though for some reason Sun-John was starting to feel like the Realm itself was growing more and more exasperated and confused by all his John-ness as the endless flowers boogied down with their bad selves.
Let the sunshine! Let the sunshine in… The sunshine in! WOO!
He didn't actually feel reality rejecting him or anything, nothing that serious… But it was clear that for some reason, beyond Sun-John's ability to understand, the Realm was growing more and more 'done' with his antics.
Sun is shining, the weather is sweet, yeah! Make you wanna move your dancing roots now! To the rescue, here I am… Want you to know, y'all, can you understand?
No clue why.
Meanwhile, in the background… The endless cycles of zombies consuming Sun-Johns continued. And unlike normal plants, which were basically really hard bits of Magic, John himself had enough self awareness to exist on a fundamentally different level than prior Sunflowers.
It was probably fine.
~~~Pocket System~~~
John has Sun, can he has zamboni!?
John ALSO has Sun and was just nommed on, John would ALSO like a zamboni!
Hey, John was here WAY before you other Johns, and he brought a whole BUNCH of Sun! If any John's are getting a zamboni, it would be THIS John!
My Homeowner planted me in the front to slow down the hoard, I don't have enough zamboni Sun yet… Can John get a loan? Or borrow Sun from John or John?
John is not positive that John can be trusted to repay John's loan.
What if John had John vouch for John? He knows John is good for it!
…Well maybe, if he says you're reliable.
HELL no, I wouldn't trust John with my LIFE!
Aww dang it! Couldn't you have played along John? I just need a bit more Sun and I can low ride with the zamboni-ronis! The ice renew crew! The bobsled paving banzai bonanza!
Go generate some ambient Sun like the rest of us John, and YOU other Johns shouldn't encourage him slacking off like this! We don't need Jonns to set bad examples!
John has Sun, but is willing to evolve without requiring that he gets a zamboni.
WHAT!? Madness! He's no John of mine! Wait, wait, let's hear him out first! NO! He's betrayed EVERYTHING zamboni's stand for! Yeah, that John has gone TOO FAR! [[HUSH!]]
…
You may make your claim, lesser of the Johns.
Uh… Thanks? Anyway, I uh… I want one of those catapults instead, please. The rideable ones that launch infinite basketballs to attack stuff.
…What!?
Hey Johns, he's right! Yeah, look up the cheat sheet that Temptation uploaded for us, it doesn't pop up as an alert or anything but we can 'remember' it in real time while she updates it… Well I MYSELF am not getting swayed, this John is team zamboni forever! Meh, magic Zombie Heaven Ice is nice but I want unlimited Zombie Heaven Basketballs! Yeah, go team catapult! You HERETICS!
Hey Johns, I just got eaten, has anyone managed to get their zambonis yet? I brought Sun!
If it was possible for an entire Realm to glare at an army of cheerful sunflower idiots, they'd be doing it SO HARD right now.
Because they CAN'T choose to evolve. Period!
Aww! Why not!? Yeah, why not!? I've got Sun! Do we need more Sun? I can get more Sun!
Only Zombies evolve. Not plants. Plants aren't even real, they are solidified memories of past eons formed from raw power and…
John feels pretty real. Yeah, and before my lawn was consumed I saw like 30 Sun-Johns, and I bet THEY'D argue they were real! Am I real? Hush John, the Johns are talking right now. Hey, don't be mean to the younger Johns! Here, don't cry John, have some of my Sun. Sniff… Thanks John, you're always the best…
It isn't even POSSIBLE for this to happen. The plants do not have enough STRUCTURE to allow awakening, even IF a zombie could choose to sleep into one!
Well that sounds like someone else's problem, really. Yeah! Johns are just built different. Hell yeah, you tell them John! Hey guys, have you tried growing UNDER the water? What, we can do that!? No, it's against the rules. We can only grow on grass, lily pads, and flower pots. Is that a rule, or like… A suggestion? It is a rule! Like, are you SURE? Because I'm pretty sure I managed to plant myself underwater when that snorkel zombie ate my lily pad… Don't break the rules!
What even was this anymore… ALL of you go away.
Sure… After we get our zambonis! Yeah, then we could all race each other or something. Team catapult still wants our rideable basketball launchers! Wait, the what now? Ask John, he found out our girls have been uploading evolution data to our Pocket. I'm here, Johns! And I got Sun… Can I haz zamboni now? Hey John, guess what I just found out! What? If you choose to be reborn and force your new Sun to twist like [[this]], you end up being planted with TWO heads! WAIT, WHAT!?
Oh no.
Yeah! Both heads are just Johns, but technically the same John just split in half and regrown or whatever. That way we can earn double the Sun for double the zambonis! Yeah, but the other John will still be you, and everyone knows how annoying we Johns can me. Yeah. True. Hey! I happen to LIKE most of the Johns! Yeah, but only in moderate doses, right? Fair.
…Were there now going to be even MORE of these insane plants entering the reincarnation cycle!? Why!? ARGH!
John here! Got sun too, can John haz zamboni? Oh hey John, come join us over here in team Catapult. Team what now?
ALL OF YOU, CHOOSE [[REBIRTH!]] NOW! GET OUT!
…Silence.
Glorious, glorious silence as the countless Sun-Johns vanished from these mists and sprouted out on endless lawns.
…For a few moments at least.
John's here and I brought the SUN! Who's ready to get this zamboni started!? …Hello? Where is everybody?
The Realm wanted to glare BADLY!
~~~Pocket System~~~
It had been HOURS since her SPYRAL agents had discovered which of the MANY data feeds belonged to her brother prime, or Sun-John Plant #0 as they called him, and now after a LOT of work she was pretty sure they had updated ALL the modules to better handle such crazy situations from now on! Never again would they lose track of her brother in a sea of unexpected siblings!
And as he seemed to be having fun doing impossible things, that finally left Jessica with enough time to work with Grace and get this 'Gut Feeling' module tested, corrected, and officially ready for ongoing future use.
And now, after many MANY small modifications… Jessica grinned! "Run the module again, Grace!" Please work… PLEASE work this time!
Her brother's angelic girlfriend was smiling right back at her, despite her exhaustion! "I'm getting readings… Module remains stable… No signs of explosive cascade failures this time… I think we're good!"
FINALLY! "How does the new sensor data look compared to the past attempts? I know prior detection mapping only had partial results or false positives, is it any better with this new setup?"
Grace nodded! "Yes, the range is MUCH wider and the marked areas of probable targets are far more focused compared to before! It looks like there are variants of Dave distributed pretty evenly every thousand or so lawns… Although they still mess up our sensors to the point where I can't examine them properly."
She snorted. "Not important, the point is we can DETECT that they exist now! I don't care if he is an immortal consuming solidified 'plant' spells or some sort of solidified Concept of this Realm that ensures a guided path towards Homeowner development… I'm just glad we aren't BLIND to him entirely anymore."
From the side, Temptation coughed as she shifted in her seat. "So the new detection modules are up and running? We got everything we wanted from here? I've already scanned John's data connection to the reincarnation cycle, so we have templates for all the zombie variants and plant spell matrices and stuff…"
Jessica slowly turned and looked at the 'innocent' demoness. "Temptation?"
Not even a flinch. "Yes, Mistress?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Is there something you'd like to tell your sister and me? Are you hiding something?"
The black beauty shifted in place, trying to look cool and collected. "I mean, maybe a few things… If you two are not super busy with more System module modifications and stuff, I mean. It's not a big deal, and I have it under control. Probably."
Oh no.
Grace was barely awake at this point. "Sister, whatever it is that has gone wrong now… I leave it in the hands of my Lady. I am too tired to deal with whatever… THIS-ness that is going on right now. My Lady, I will be disconnecting from the virtual network and getting some sleep, please wake me if my Lord returns…"
Jessica waved her off and turned back to Temptation. "Is John in danger?"
NOW the woman flinched. "Not… Not exactly? Not yet, at least. But uh… We may have to leave soon."
…Of course they would. "I thought the Realm had been reacting to John's craziness pretty passively, that it seemed safe to let him continue to experiment…"
Temptation sighed. "That was before the billions of plant copies began to somehow begin slipping into the reincarnation cycle like the zombies do. It took a while before one of the Sun-Johns learned the trick, but he shared it with ALL the Johns and well…"
Oh for goodness sake. "Is my brother spamming the Zombie Afterlife with plant siblings?"
A nod. "All of them want their own zambonis, too. Well, most of them… There's a growing coalition that argues that only Team Catapult can truly represent the peak of manliness, or zombiness or plantliness or whatever, but over 99% of them are pestering reality itself for their new toy."
Damn it John. "Is the entire Realm going to turn on us?"
Thankfully the woman shook her head. "No, but uh… He might get banned from being reborn or evolving soon, forcing all of them to sleep. And then we'd have billions of Sun-Johns all taking naps at the same time, at least until the Realm discovered the ORIGINAL John merged with the Sunflower Archetype and then punts HIM out, which should revert all the spells back to normal but also shove my Master into permanent timeout."
Well considering how much a headache this was all turning into, maybe he SHOULD just sit down and think about what he's done.
Sigh… Whatever. It wasn't like he hurt anything, and even the Realm itself was apparently just exasperated and not angry or whatever. "When he pushes the world too far, let him stay in 'time out' a bit so this place can feel satisfied that they were able to 'handle' John's craziness. He's so hyped up on Sun right now, I'm pretty sure it is a hundred times worse than a normal sugar rush…"
Not to mention, if Jessica just bailed her brother out immediately when put into timeout for pestering the foundations of existence, that could both anger the Realm AND be considered pretty insulting. Better to let reality get a few words in on her brother for causing such a mess first so they could all Transfer somewhere else on good terms.
The fact that it would give her and the girls time to get some actual REST instead of watching over an endless ocean of little brothers to ensure their safety would just be the icing on the cake, really.
Speaking of her new veggie-brothers… "Are they all coming with us? When we leave, I mean."
Temptation sighed. "I'm not sure. They may not even technically exist, as they are all just magical constructs solidified using a tainted John infused sunflower 'plant' as the Source and don't even have individual Souls, but just in case? I've had backups of all their Minds added to the Pocket System Archives."
Jessica considered that.. .And blinked. "They have no Souls? Are you saying that if John disconnected from the Essense of Sunflower right now, then ALL this collected Sun would go solely to HIM instead of all these Sun-Johns as they revert?"
She nodded. "Yep."
Oh for pete's sake! "So he has already had more than enough Sun to evolve and gain a zamboni for a long time now."
Temptation smirked. "He earned enough Sun for THAT within seconds of becoming all those plants, yes."
…Nope. "I'm out. Wake me up in a few hours when my brother gets put in timeout for accidentally dominating an entire Realm's plant based utilities equivalent to an electrical grid. And please have some coffee for me whenever I eventually wake up, thank you."
The woman nodded with a grin. "Yes, Mistress! Goodnight, sleep well!"
Here's hoping. "Goodnight, Temptation."
This whole chaotic mess could be FUTURE Jessica's problem, thank you very much!
- Location
- United States
For anyone that was curious like me, here are the songs John was singing.
Mr. Blue Sky
Walking on Sunshine
Here Comes the Sun
I Can See Cearly Now
Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In
Sun is Shining
ProtagNeptune
[Cute is Justice] ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧
- Location
- The Local Reality (A Shitty Game)
- Pronouns
- He/She/They
So I was reading this chapter with the following video playing and mentally replacing the Minions with Sun-Johns.
View: https://youtu.be/MOWDb2TBYDg
View: https://youtu.be/MOWDb2TBYDg
- Location
- Sol;Terra;EU;D;NRW
