Pocket System
- Thread starter theaceoffire
- Start date
- Crossover Fantasy
Twin sunflower has hit the field. Dave's car is here
The Joy of Riding.
- Location
- Here
But WHY!?
It has been declared: Only Zombies evolve. Not plants. Plants aren't even real, they are solidified memories of past eons formed from raw power and…
But John has ALL THIS SUN! He even borrowed MORE from OTHER Johns so at least ONE John can ride his zamboni!
The amount of Sun gathered is irrelevant due to constraints that apply…
Oh come on, this has to be a thousand times as much Sun as needed! Zamboni time, yes? Yes?
No.
…This argument continued for some time. So long that ONE of the Sun-Johns noticed something…
Hey John?
Pretty pretty PRETTY please! Come on… Hmm? What do you need, other me?
Aren't those bits and these patterns over here the way this Realm implements the Evolve option?
Huh?
Yeah, I've waited here a LONG time and saw a LOT of Johns as they come and go, and then I saw this bit over [[Here]], and when you give a bit of Sun to THAT bit and sort of look at it sideways like this…
Oh, you can see the zombies as THEY go through the reincarnation process up here. Neat!
And those bits over there interact with the Zombie's Sun reserves over here and activate the Essence modulation in this region and…
All the Sun-Johns fell silent as they followed along and began to study such an intriguing bit of newly discovered information .
The equipment doesn't just absorb impacts or act as Sun sponges to extend the duration of a zombie attack, does it?
Nope! Yeah, see this bit? The hooks? Yeah, it hooks into your essence energy network, sharing durability and all that even to 'weak points' or 'undefended areas'. Well holy crap… Yeah, I think THIS is why wearing a hat lets you walk over those spike plants longer. Could we extend this to other equipment? Stuff that we make for the girls or sis?
That brought a brief pause.
Maybe? No, I think we could, but not a lot. Yeah, our Bodies don't really work with this sort of thing, so it'd have to be a Soul hookup. All I'm hearing is that we might have just cracked the potential for Crafting Soul-bound equipment! Huh, yeah… And if the Soul still exists while the tool or shirt or whatever is destroyed, it can be used to reform the lost stuff over time. We'd have to regulate that though, or the strain could crack something. Yeah, Soul's can be fragile sometimes. Hey, this is all neat and all, but weren't we doing something earlier?
The network of Sun-Johns paused and considered that.
OH! Yeah, the zambonis! Quick, activate the parts with Sun so we can get our zambonis! We can't, plants don't interact with those bits correctly. SURE we can, just copy enough of the zombie interface to connect up and then modify the other end to hook into our spell matrices. Oh! So basically an adapter for Zombie to Plant connections!? Oooh, Grace is going to LOVE that! Everyone hush up, I'm going to give it a try!
In an instant, unholy amounts of [[SUN]] was shoved into parts of the Realm that were NOT designed to be manually operated, and targeted to a horrifying mash of plant and random guess spellwork modification and…
~~~Pocket System~~~
On one lawn, a sunflower was planted.
It should have been trivial.
Choose a spot, and the homeowner would see a new happy dancing sunflower collecting Sun for his defenses.
But THIS time, instead of a boogie blossom, the grass CRACKED.
The earth SPLIT!
And from the darkness within… [[Honk Honk!]]
ALL the surrounding plants turned to face the impossible.
ALL the zombies froze in confusion.
The HOMEOWNER himself forgot to collect Sun or make any plans…
As from the soil arose machinery.
…Said machinery also was half white, half black, and being ridden by a twin headed sunflower.
Wat?
~~~Pocket System~~~
CHOO CHOO MOTHER FUCKER! [[Honk Honk!]]
Right, he had to use his second head to sort of bite the steering wheel to steer and THIS head to see where the lawn was and THAT root to control the gear stick thingy but remember to keep THESE roots wrapped around the seat so he didn't fall off and…
WOO! [[Honk Honk!]] You others best get out of the way!
…Oh, he was 'born' at the back with the other sunflowers.
And was now leaving a trail of ice leading straight towards OTHER plants in the way leading towards the zombie hoard.
Sorry! Please forgive me for squishing and freezing you guys, but you be in the way! [[Honk Honk!]]
Maybe he could steer this thing around some? Like maybe…
Oops. SORRY! Didn't know how hard this thing handled turn attempts! Crud, he was now three lanes over and about to smash into some Tall-nuts. Maybe they can move out of the way?
[[CRUNCH!]]
…Apparently not. SORRY! Just trying to squeeze through!
The other tall-nuts were staring at him with judgment in those un judging eyes.
Here, in honor of your fallen brothers: [[Honk Honk!]]
They will be missed, but at least Sun-John could start squishing some zombies and…
[[CRUNCH!]]
Ah.
Right, the fence.
Should have tried to turn this monstrosity of a machine earlier… Oh well.
Excuse me, newly surprised yard of plants! Zamboni coming through!
[[Honk Honk!]]
Oh dear, it was probably much easier to drive this with only one head and hands and stuff… Oops! Watch out!
"Gar?" [[Squish!]]
Wait no, he was a sunflower (sort of), destroying the zombies was a good thing, right?
Just to be sure, his head steering let go of the wheel (It wasn't working great at changing the zamboni's path anyway) and looked over towards the back row of the defending plants.
It was chaos! Dozens of Sun-Johns all wiggling leaves and shaking their groove thing in support! He could practically hear an endless chant: Zamboni! Zamboni! Zamboni!
"Brains!?" [[Squelch!]]
Oh dear. Quick, bite the wheel again! And watch out for the next fence because it was getting awfully close and…
[[CRUNCH!]]
Uh. Hi new lawn! Just ignore the zamboni, we're just passing through… Oh no, there are a LOT more plants on this lawn, this was going to be embarrassing.
[[Squish!]] [[Squish!]] [[Squish!]] [[Squish!]] [[Squish!]] [[Squish!]]...
Sorry Homeowner! You should probably plant more defenses quickly… You know, after you melt all the ice that this thing is leaving behind. Good luck!
He felt the wheel shift a bit more and… FINALLY he was facing towards the zombie hoards!
Hello friends! I come bearing a dream and a zamboni!
"Rawr!?" [[Squish!]]
Oh, I see you've met! And look at all these other lovely zombies just WAITING to meet their friendly neighborhood zamboni cowboy-flower! Hello walking corpses of vegetarians! Salad is being delivered to YOU today! Hope you're hungry…
"GAR!" [[Squish!]] "Gur?" [[Squish!]] "Brains!?" [[Squish!]]...
Don't run guys, there's plenty of me for everyone! HA HA HA HA!
[[Honk Honk!]]
Oh the other guys were going to LOVE this!
~~~Pocket System~~~
Grace watched in growing shock as zamboni after zamboni began to sprout from the ground across the Realm… All awkwardly driven by dancing sunflowers, all practically uncontrolled and causing madness.
Sun-John after Sun-John would ram through fences, fall into pools, drive randomly through the streets, and most common of all: Crash.
Almost NONE of them so far were killed by standard plants OR zombies, as trying to aim at her Lord was near hopeless at best and impossible at worst. She wasn't even sure HOW he was dodging some of those projectiles and one-use explosive plants, but SOMETHING in the random nature of the path he was taking managed to keep him alive for WAY too long.
So instead of being eaten or shot, most of the zambonis were tipping over, or falling apart after hitting a house, or being submerged, or hitting EACH OTHER as random Sun-Johns would attempt to 'play chicken' or 'joust' or 'bumper cars'.
…She should probably do something about this, right?
But what, exactly?
For one thing, the security modules were (thankfully) working a treat. The Realm itself hadn't noticed John was an alien (or traveler, or outer god, or whatever they were), it just thought that John was probably insane and certainly a huge hassle.
Having Grace reach in and yoink them all out right now on the other hand? That would CERTAINLY be noticeable.
Also! Her Lady Jessica Doe had FINALLY gone to bed a few hours ago, and she desperately needed the rest. And if she made a big fuss about her Lord's most recent antics, that would pull Temptation into the situation and…
Well honestly, she loved her sister dearly… But she was much more likely to ENCOURAGE John than to ask him not to break reality by arming flowers with zambonis and weaponry.
And the ensuing argument between them both would CERTAINLY wake up the Lady of their family without a doubt, and Jessica NEEDED this most recent nap badly.
The angelic beauty watched the ongoing madness over thousands of video streams… And sighed. "Enjoy it while you can my Lord… I fear the Realm's patience will not last much longer."
Then one of the Double-Sun-John-Zamboni's started to glow.
…Oh dear.
~~~Pocket System~~~
Sun-John's heads both grinned with madness! [[Hey guys! Try shoving the Sun you passively gather and generate directly into your zamboni!]]
[[H͇͔̣o̮͓n̖̺͉̬ͅk͎͖̻̗̗͈ ͇͓H̞̰̭o̖̠͖̯̰̠͓̖͚n̲̯̫̫͚͈̥̰k̼͎!]]
SPEED!
ALL THE SPEED! HA HA HA HA!
"Ra!?" [[Squish!]]
Oops! Didn't even see what that was and… FENCE!
[[CRUNCH!]]
That didn't even slow us down!? WHY are we going FASTER!?
[[CRUNCH!]]
This might be bad! Quick, the horn!
[[H͇͔̣o̮͓n̖̺͉̬ͅk͎͖̻̗̗͈ ͇͓H̞̰̭o̖̠͖̯̰̠͓̖͚n̲̯̫̫͚͈̥̰k̼͎!]] [[CRUNCH!]]
AHH! LEFT! GO LEFT!
[[CRUNCH!]]
THE OTHER LEFT! EVEN MORE LEFT!
[[CRUNCH!]]
Sun-John frantically tried to direct the STILL ACCELERATING zamboni while his free head started gasping out a warning. [[Everyone, do NOT enrich your magical zombie zamboni with raw SUN, or at least not THIS much because it takes a second to kick in and OH SHIT!]]
[[C͈͓ͅR͖̣̥U͖̹̲̥̘͉̘͙N̪̜̱̘̟̫̼͎C̭̝̙̝̤̹̪H̖̞̦̳͖A͙̮̮̗̩̗̬̜̹P̻͖̼̼͈̠̞͕A̖͙L̩̯̳͔̻͇̣U͖S̞̯̳̣̘̹͍̝̥I̭̤̣O̯̩N̝̘͙̫̱̗̯͙̠!]]
…Ow.
Hello house. You were much more sturdy than all the magically self repairing fences and zombies and plants and stuff. How do you do?
You know, aside from the new hole in your wall. That probably didn't feel great.
To be fair, at the moment? Sun-John ALSO didn't feel great. Maybe this was the start of a trend?
Sun-John didn't realize it was POSSIBLE for a sunflower to feel bruised like this. Owwww…
"Grrrrgle…"
Hmm? Hello?
The home itself seemed fairly normal and empty, so… Maybe something had followed him in?
At the speeds he had reached towards the end there, the ice trail had been long missing as it couldn't be applied before they had zoomed forward. That meant that bobsled teams were unlikely, but the whole planet was covered in zombies so maybe someone just wanted in through the new entryway he had just constructed.
Sun-John slowly unwound his stems and roots from the mostly intact zamboni (Seriously, Sun reinforcement for conceptually powerful magical vehicles was no joke!) and began working his way down to see who the new visitor was.
Hello?
"Guuurgle…"
Huh. It seemed to be coming from over there, under his zamboni itself.
Oops. Sorry mister! Just, you know, it was REALLY hard to steer this thing BEFORE supercharging it with raw power, and this house just jumped right in front of me and… Oh.
You aren't a normal zombie, are you?
Sun-John starred in growing concern and worry as the crushed Homeowner gurgled out under the 6,930 pound vehicle.
Hey uh… Buddy? You doin okay?
"Gargle…"
Do you need some water? Uh… Maybe some advil? Not that Sun-John has really SEEN any medication since coming here, since death itself is more a transitory state than an end really in this place and…
"GAK!"
The Homeowner died.
Sun-John felt the entire world sort of shift as numerous autonomous processes tried to activate simultaneously.
The prior Homeowner vanished as he left to be reborn.
The home swiftly began to regenerate, along with the various battlefields around it.
The victorious zombie, [[UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22']] was designated to automatically evolve into the 'totally not a zombie' Homeowner, to gain power of this whole domain and defend it from the undead hoards.
The victorious zombie, [[UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22']] was designated to…
The victorious zombie, [[UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22']] was designated to…
Oh dear.
John could feel the Realm beginning to run error checking protocols as his Pocket System helpfully translated it into something understandable.
[[UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22' requires formal identification.]]
Reality suddenly seemed to be staring at Double-Sun-Zomboni-John REALLY hard, to the point where it actually stung a bit…
[[UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22' Components detected: Spell matrix, Zomboni #22, Damaged Zombie Essence.]]
Damaged…? Oh, it was looking at the 'adaptor' zombie bits John had smushed together to let plants operate the glorious zamboni machinery.
[[UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22' Damaged beyond automated repair sequences' ability to regenerate. Experimental recovery methods required to ensure proper identification of UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22'.]]
Uh… That didn't sound good. Could he opt out of this or…?
[[Initializing 'Adaptation, Mutation, and Rejuvenation' policies via experimental recovery methods.]]
Now hang on! That didn't sound like a good thing at all and…
[[Mutating UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22' until damaged components are compatible enough for full Adaptation and Rejuvenation. Extent of mutation and range of alteration reliant on available Sun units…]]
Oh? Oh thank goodness, Sun-John had spent most of his Sun already getting his zamboni up to speed. Literally. Maybe this wouldn't be a problem after all!
[[Insufficient Sun resources available for UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22'.]]
Whew!
[[Detecting UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22' is a member of a Sun harvesting hive matrix.]]
Wait, what now?
[[Requesting Sun resources from Sun Harvesting Hive Matrix 'Sunflower Template: John Doe v1.0013'. Request granted. Required resources acquired.]]
AHH! HOLD UP!
[[Procedure underway, estimated time till completion is…]]
I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!
[[I'm sorry, but all questions or requests must be submitted in writing.]]
…Hold up, you can talk to me!? I thought you were an automated system!
[[Procedure underway, estimated time till completion is…]]
Don't pretend that I'm not here damn it! Call this whole thing off!
[[Procedure underway, estimated time till completion is…]]
I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!
[[Procedure underway, estimated time till completion is…]]
…This is because I smashed through all those lawns, isn't it?
[[...You almost damaged unit ZOMBIE MERCHANT 'Not Human Crazy Dave'.]]
Oh. Uh… Oops? Sorry? But I missed him, right? Right?
[[Unit ZOMBIE MERCHANT 'Not Human Crazy Dave' remains unharmed.]]
Oh thank goodness, I was completely out of control back there!
[[...]]
...Uh, I mean...
[[Procedure underway, estimated time till completion is…]]
God damn it!
It has been declared: Only Zombies evolve. Not plants. Plants aren't even real, they are solidified memories of past eons formed from raw power and…
But John has ALL THIS SUN! He even borrowed MORE from OTHER Johns so at least ONE John can ride his zamboni!
The amount of Sun gathered is irrelevant due to constraints that apply…
Oh come on, this has to be a thousand times as much Sun as needed! Zamboni time, yes? Yes?
No.
…This argument continued for some time. So long that ONE of the Sun-Johns noticed something…
Hey John?
Pretty pretty PRETTY please! Come on… Hmm? What do you need, other me?
Aren't those bits and these patterns over here the way this Realm implements the Evolve option?
Huh?
Yeah, I've waited here a LONG time and saw a LOT of Johns as they come and go, and then I saw this bit over [[Here]], and when you give a bit of Sun to THAT bit and sort of look at it sideways like this…
Oh, you can see the zombies as THEY go through the reincarnation process up here. Neat!
And those bits over there interact with the Zombie's Sun reserves over here and activate the Essence modulation in this region and…
All the Sun-Johns fell silent as they followed along and began to study such an intriguing bit of newly discovered information .
The equipment doesn't just absorb impacts or act as Sun sponges to extend the duration of a zombie attack, does it?
Nope! Yeah, see this bit? The hooks? Yeah, it hooks into your essence energy network, sharing durability and all that even to 'weak points' or 'undefended areas'. Well holy crap… Yeah, I think THIS is why wearing a hat lets you walk over those spike plants longer. Could we extend this to other equipment? Stuff that we make for the girls or sis?
That brought a brief pause.
Maybe? No, I think we could, but not a lot. Yeah, our Bodies don't really work with this sort of thing, so it'd have to be a Soul hookup. All I'm hearing is that we might have just cracked the potential for Crafting Soul-bound equipment! Huh, yeah… And if the Soul still exists while the tool or shirt or whatever is destroyed, it can be used to reform the lost stuff over time. We'd have to regulate that though, or the strain could crack something. Yeah, Soul's can be fragile sometimes. Hey, this is all neat and all, but weren't we doing something earlier?
The network of Sun-Johns paused and considered that.
OH! Yeah, the zambonis! Quick, activate the parts with Sun so we can get our zambonis! We can't, plants don't interact with those bits correctly. SURE we can, just copy enough of the zombie interface to connect up and then modify the other end to hook into our spell matrices. Oh! So basically an adapter for Zombie to Plant connections!? Oooh, Grace is going to LOVE that! Everyone hush up, I'm going to give it a try!
In an instant, unholy amounts of [[SUN]] was shoved into parts of the Realm that were NOT designed to be manually operated, and targeted to a horrifying mash of plant and random guess spellwork modification and…
~~~Pocket System~~~
On one lawn, a sunflower was planted.
It should have been trivial.
Choose a spot, and the homeowner would see a new happy dancing sunflower collecting Sun for his defenses.
But THIS time, instead of a boogie blossom, the grass CRACKED.
The earth SPLIT!
And from the darkness within… [[Honk Honk!]]
ALL the surrounding plants turned to face the impossible.
ALL the zombies froze in confusion.
The HOMEOWNER himself forgot to collect Sun or make any plans…
As from the soil arose machinery.
…Said machinery also was half white, half black, and being ridden by a twin headed sunflower.
Wat?
~~~Pocket System~~~
CHOO CHOO MOTHER FUCKER! [[Honk Honk!]]
Right, he had to use his second head to sort of bite the steering wheel to steer and THIS head to see where the lawn was and THAT root to control the gear stick thingy but remember to keep THESE roots wrapped around the seat so he didn't fall off and…
WOO! [[Honk Honk!]] You others best get out of the way!
…Oh, he was 'born' at the back with the other sunflowers.
And was now leaving a trail of ice leading straight towards OTHER plants in the way leading towards the zombie hoard.
Sorry! Please forgive me for squishing and freezing you guys, but you be in the way! [[Honk Honk!]]
Maybe he could steer this thing around some? Like maybe…
Oops. SORRY! Didn't know how hard this thing handled turn attempts! Crud, he was now three lanes over and about to smash into some Tall-nuts. Maybe they can move out of the way?
[[CRUNCH!]]
…Apparently not. SORRY! Just trying to squeeze through!
The other tall-nuts were staring at him with judgment in those un judging eyes.
Here, in honor of your fallen brothers: [[Honk Honk!]]
They will be missed, but at least Sun-John could start squishing some zombies and…
[[CRUNCH!]]
Ah.
Right, the fence.
Should have tried to turn this monstrosity of a machine earlier… Oh well.
Excuse me, newly surprised yard of plants! Zamboni coming through!
[[Honk Honk!]]
Oh dear, it was probably much easier to drive this with only one head and hands and stuff… Oops! Watch out!
"Gar?" [[Squish!]]
Wait no, he was a sunflower (sort of), destroying the zombies was a good thing, right?
Just to be sure, his head steering let go of the wheel (It wasn't working great at changing the zamboni's path anyway) and looked over towards the back row of the defending plants.
It was chaos! Dozens of Sun-Johns all wiggling leaves and shaking their groove thing in support! He could practically hear an endless chant: Zamboni! Zamboni! Zamboni!
"Brains!?" [[Squelch!]]
Oh dear. Quick, bite the wheel again! And watch out for the next fence because it was getting awfully close and…
[[CRUNCH!]]
Uh. Hi new lawn! Just ignore the zamboni, we're just passing through… Oh no, there are a LOT more plants on this lawn, this was going to be embarrassing.
[[Squish!]] [[Squish!]] [[Squish!]] [[Squish!]] [[Squish!]] [[Squish!]]...
Sorry Homeowner! You should probably plant more defenses quickly… You know, after you melt all the ice that this thing is leaving behind. Good luck!
He felt the wheel shift a bit more and… FINALLY he was facing towards the zombie hoards!
Hello friends! I come bearing a dream and a zamboni!
"Rawr!?" [[Squish!]]
Oh, I see you've met! And look at all these other lovely zombies just WAITING to meet their friendly neighborhood zamboni cowboy-flower! Hello walking corpses of vegetarians! Salad is being delivered to YOU today! Hope you're hungry…
"GAR!" [[Squish!]] "Gur?" [[Squish!]] "Brains!?" [[Squish!]]...
Don't run guys, there's plenty of me for everyone! HA HA HA HA!
[[Honk Honk!]]
Oh the other guys were going to LOVE this!
~~~Pocket System~~~
Grace watched in growing shock as zamboni after zamboni began to sprout from the ground across the Realm… All awkwardly driven by dancing sunflowers, all practically uncontrolled and causing madness.
Sun-John after Sun-John would ram through fences, fall into pools, drive randomly through the streets, and most common of all: Crash.
Almost NONE of them so far were killed by standard plants OR zombies, as trying to aim at her Lord was near hopeless at best and impossible at worst. She wasn't even sure HOW he was dodging some of those projectiles and one-use explosive plants, but SOMETHING in the random nature of the path he was taking managed to keep him alive for WAY too long.
So instead of being eaten or shot, most of the zambonis were tipping over, or falling apart after hitting a house, or being submerged, or hitting EACH OTHER as random Sun-Johns would attempt to 'play chicken' or 'joust' or 'bumper cars'.
…She should probably do something about this, right?
But what, exactly?
For one thing, the security modules were (thankfully) working a treat. The Realm itself hadn't noticed John was an alien (or traveler, or outer god, or whatever they were), it just thought that John was probably insane and certainly a huge hassle.
Having Grace reach in and yoink them all out right now on the other hand? That would CERTAINLY be noticeable.
Also! Her Lady Jessica Doe had FINALLY gone to bed a few hours ago, and she desperately needed the rest. And if she made a big fuss about her Lord's most recent antics, that would pull Temptation into the situation and…
Well honestly, she loved her sister dearly… But she was much more likely to ENCOURAGE John than to ask him not to break reality by arming flowers with zambonis and weaponry.
And the ensuing argument between them both would CERTAINLY wake up the Lady of their family without a doubt, and Jessica NEEDED this most recent nap badly.
The angelic beauty watched the ongoing madness over thousands of video streams… And sighed. "Enjoy it while you can my Lord… I fear the Realm's patience will not last much longer."
Then one of the Double-Sun-John-Zamboni's started to glow.
…Oh dear.
~~~Pocket System~~~
Sun-John's heads both grinned with madness! [[Hey guys! Try shoving the Sun you passively gather and generate directly into your zamboni!]]
[[H͇͔̣o̮͓n̖̺͉̬ͅk͎͖̻̗̗͈ ͇͓H̞̰̭o̖̠͖̯̰̠͓̖͚n̲̯̫̫͚͈̥̰k̼͎!]]
SPEED!
ALL THE SPEED! HA HA HA HA!
"Ra!?" [[Squish!]]
Oops! Didn't even see what that was and… FENCE!
[[CRUNCH!]]
That didn't even slow us down!? WHY are we going FASTER!?
[[CRUNCH!]]
This might be bad! Quick, the horn!
[[H͇͔̣o̮͓n̖̺͉̬ͅk͎͖̻̗̗͈ ͇͓H̞̰̭o̖̠͖̯̰̠͓̖͚n̲̯̫̫͚͈̥̰k̼͎!]] [[CRUNCH!]]
AHH! LEFT! GO LEFT!
[[CRUNCH!]]
THE OTHER LEFT! EVEN MORE LEFT!
[[CRUNCH!]]
Sun-John frantically tried to direct the STILL ACCELERATING zamboni while his free head started gasping out a warning. [[Everyone, do NOT enrich your magical zombie zamboni with raw SUN, or at least not THIS much because it takes a second to kick in and OH SHIT!]]
[[C͈͓ͅR͖̣̥U͖̹̲̥̘͉̘͙N̪̜̱̘̟̫̼͎C̭̝̙̝̤̹̪H̖̞̦̳͖A͙̮̮̗̩̗̬̜̹P̻͖̼̼͈̠̞͕A̖͙L̩̯̳͔̻͇̣U͖S̞̯̳̣̘̹͍̝̥I̭̤̣O̯̩N̝̘͙̫̱̗̯͙̠!]]
…Ow.
Hello house. You were much more sturdy than all the magically self repairing fences and zombies and plants and stuff. How do you do?
You know, aside from the new hole in your wall. That probably didn't feel great.
To be fair, at the moment? Sun-John ALSO didn't feel great. Maybe this was the start of a trend?
Sun-John didn't realize it was POSSIBLE for a sunflower to feel bruised like this. Owwww…
"Grrrrgle…"
Hmm? Hello?
The home itself seemed fairly normal and empty, so… Maybe something had followed him in?
At the speeds he had reached towards the end there, the ice trail had been long missing as it couldn't be applied before they had zoomed forward. That meant that bobsled teams were unlikely, but the whole planet was covered in zombies so maybe someone just wanted in through the new entryway he had just constructed.
Sun-John slowly unwound his stems and roots from the mostly intact zamboni (Seriously, Sun reinforcement for conceptually powerful magical vehicles was no joke!) and began working his way down to see who the new visitor was.
Hello?
"Guuurgle…"
Huh. It seemed to be coming from over there, under his zamboni itself.
Oops. Sorry mister! Just, you know, it was REALLY hard to steer this thing BEFORE supercharging it with raw power, and this house just jumped right in front of me and… Oh.
You aren't a normal zombie, are you?
Sun-John starred in growing concern and worry as the crushed Homeowner gurgled out under the 6,930 pound vehicle.
Hey uh… Buddy? You doin okay?
"Gargle…"
Do you need some water? Uh… Maybe some advil? Not that Sun-John has really SEEN any medication since coming here, since death itself is more a transitory state than an end really in this place and…
"GAK!"
The Homeowner died.
Sun-John felt the entire world sort of shift as numerous autonomous processes tried to activate simultaneously.
The prior Homeowner vanished as he left to be reborn.
The home swiftly began to regenerate, along with the various battlefields around it.
The victorious zombie, [[UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22']] was designated to automatically evolve into the 'totally not a zombie' Homeowner, to gain power of this whole domain and defend it from the undead hoards.
The victorious zombie, [[UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22']] was designated to…
The victorious zombie, [[UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22']] was designated to…
Oh dear.
John could feel the Realm beginning to run error checking protocols as his Pocket System helpfully translated it into something understandable.
[[UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22' requires formal identification.]]
Reality suddenly seemed to be staring at Double-Sun-Zomboni-John REALLY hard, to the point where it actually stung a bit…
[[UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22' Components detected: Spell matrix, Zomboni #22, Damaged Zombie Essence.]]
Damaged…? Oh, it was looking at the 'adaptor' zombie bits John had smushed together to let plants operate the glorious zamboni machinery.
[[UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22' Damaged beyond automated repair sequences' ability to regenerate. Experimental recovery methods required to ensure proper identification of UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22'.]]
Uh… That didn't sound good. Could he opt out of this or…?
[[Initializing 'Adaptation, Mutation, and Rejuvenation' policies via experimental recovery methods.]]
Now hang on! That didn't sound like a good thing at all and…
[[Mutating UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22' until damaged components are compatible enough for full Adaptation and Rejuvenation. Extent of mutation and range of alteration reliant on available Sun units…]]
Oh? Oh thank goodness, Sun-John had spent most of his Sun already getting his zamboni up to speed. Literally. Maybe this wouldn't be a problem after all!
[[Insufficient Sun resources available for UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22'.]]
Whew!
[[Detecting UNDEFINED TARGET 'Sun-John #3138291 - Zamboni #22' is a member of a Sun harvesting hive matrix.]]
Wait, what now?
[[Requesting Sun resources from Sun Harvesting Hive Matrix 'Sunflower Template: John Doe v1.0013'. Request granted. Required resources acquired.]]
AHH! HOLD UP!
[[Procedure underway, estimated time till completion is…]]
I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!
[[I'm sorry, but all questions or requests must be submitted in writing.]]
…Hold up, you can talk to me!? I thought you were an automated system!
[[Procedure underway, estimated time till completion is…]]
Don't pretend that I'm not here damn it! Call this whole thing off!
[[Procedure underway, estimated time till completion is…]]
I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!
[[Procedure underway, estimated time till completion is…]]
…This is because I smashed through all those lawns, isn't it?
[[...You almost damaged unit ZOMBIE MERCHANT 'Not Human Crazy Dave'.]]
Oh. Uh… Oops? Sorry? But I missed him, right? Right?
[[Unit ZOMBIE MERCHANT 'Not Human Crazy Dave' remains unharmed.]]
Oh thank goodness, I was completely out of control back there!
[[...]]
...Uh, I mean...
[[Procedure underway, estimated time till completion is…]]
God damn it!
dracklor
Beyond the Frontier
- Location
- Texas
Yeah I was thinking the same thing, that John would end up responsible for causing PvZ2.
- Location
- Paradise, Hawaii
I predict John will Visit Azeroth, with a Heavy Dose of Copium.
Azeroth has a mixed history. Time jumps and been redo to erase what happen to TRUE HISTORY! Really!
P VS P and other flavors of such, Game developers doing shenanigans to milk money.
If he visits does it mean Hero of the Storm is a Option or Final Fantasy?
Azeroth has a mixed history. Time jumps and been redo to erase what happen to TRUE HISTORY! Really!
P VS P and other flavors of such, Game developers doing shenanigans to milk money.
If he visits does it mean Hero of the Storm is a Option or Final Fantasy?
- Location
- Sol;Terra;EU;D;NRW
Well, now its a Free For Johns, Johnsaplosionapalosa Zamboni HomeflowererOwner Suntime.
Jessica is due an unscheduled interupt of her well earned sleep in... now.
Prepare for grumpy sister sounds.
Jessica is due an unscheduled interupt of her well earned sleep in... now.
Prepare for grumpy sister sounds.
A star is born! ... Sort of?
- Location
- Here
It didn't hurt exactly, but it certainly felt odd.
Roots mutating into dead flesh into enhanced magical zamboni components… It felt pretty high up on the 'unusual stuff' index. Fascinating from a data point of view though.
John felt the new Body suddenly bubble, [[Pop!]], and twist… Before it began restabilizing all over again. Apparently this attempt too was just unacceptably unstable. Meh, it'd find something to work with eventually… Right?
Hopefully, yes.
Another issue that was complicating this mess involved the background automated systems overseeing this mad science.
It kept trying to nudge his final form into one of three categories: Homeowner, Zombie, or Plant.
And for obvious reasons, this new creation kept oozing outside the lines. Sometimes literally.
Heck! If it wasn't for Magic and Conceptual Backing to help it all stick together, he'd have probably fallen apart completely by now!
But after several hours (Days? Weeks?), it looked like the alterations were slowing down and stabilizing.
[[Pop!]] Fuzzzzzzle….
Or at least, the failures were being spread further and further apart. That probably meant progress was being made, most likely.
No, the bigger issue is HOW this whole mess was 'stabilizing' the process.
By brute force.
Randomly smashing bits together to see if it doesn't explode.
Over and over again.
[[Pop!]] Fuzzzzzzle….
Case in point: THAT new Body had fifteen sunflower heads, 33 wheels (none touching the ground) and spewed ice from a dozen holes. Half organic, half not.
And that was one of the MORE stable attempts to get this car crash back on the road.
Sheesh!
Failure after failure, John watched with fascination.
No, putting an engine in a zombie does not make him fart ice.
No, putting a sunflower 'brain' inside a zamboni does not allow it to automatically drive itself.
No, more heads does not equal less problems. Especially since half of them were hybrid zombie/flower monstrosities that kept trying to eat themselves.
At some point the process shifted from amusing though and drifted towards sadness.
Like… Come on, you made all the OTHER zombie variants, right? How is this so hard?
Look, stop that… [[Just stop]] please, just… Let's start with something basic.
John felt a catalog of zombies open up and… Yeah, this one. The Gargantuar.
These guys are dumb muscles, basically a heavy vehicle that allows the tiny imp on their back to guide and direct them on their smashing way. Well, at least until the tiny dude makes too many poor decisions and the Gargantuar decides to throw him like a bean bag at something.
So treat this new unit the same way. The Zamboni will gain most of the reinforcement, the Magic, the Conceptual enhancements… While the Sun-John or Sunflower acts as the guiding force in the back.
I mean, that was almost what we came up with accidentally earlier, right? Can't we just do this and be done?
Then reality began pointing out to John that the Zamboni was partially zombie to begin with, which was how it was part of the zombie evolutionary tree to begin with.
And how it could eat Sun and stuff, and get powered up in the process.
The issue here was NOT using a zombie as the 'driver', because there was NO precedent available to show how this was supposed to work without exploding or dissolving or eating itself.
Hence why it was trying the brute force approach. And failing. Repeatedly.
John felt exasperated.
So, they just needed to design a MORE refined version of the 'Plant to Zombie' interface? The one John had ALREADY designed for the Sun-John Zamboni express earlier?
The aspects of existence paused at that… Because wasn't that component just a heavily damaged zombie fragment? It had already been repaired due to not working…
No, it HAD been working, just not in a manner or using a method that was documented within the automated systems.
…John felt the Realm just sort of considered that concept. For quite a while.
Then, tentatively… It reached out to him.
Did he have any examples? Documentation for that previous attempt? Similar ideas?
John couldn't help but grin from within the Sunflower Template.
Why… Yes.
Yes he did.
~~~Pocket System~~~
Grace stared at the flickering home on the video stream.
Monstrosities or spells were being planted, then giant zombies merged with machines would consume them, only for adorable animal plants to consume them all, followed by angry grass and rabid bushes and…
Thankfully, the madness seemed to be focused and concentrated to this one house that the insane Sun-John had smashed into earlier.
For now.
She heard her sister connect to the virtual conference room before she entered through the doorway yawning. "Good morning sis! Man I feel like I haven't slept this well since the three of us used that one tingly lube and… Oh hell, what's happening NOW!?"
Grace looked at the chaos. "In order? John ended up gathering SO much Sun that some areas of the Realm fell into 'night time mode' earlier than they were supposed to… But even so, the Realm wouldn't give our Lord a zamboni because plants were just solidified spell matrices and weren't allowed to 'evolve' into zombies with equipment."
She sighed. "Then one of him found out how ZOMBIES were evolving, forced the process MANUALLY, and enabled a large percentage of the Sun-Johns to be planted as Sun-John Zambonis. But plants, or at least John, turned out to have a terrible time learning how to steer. Which transformed into IMPOSSIBLE to control madness when he learned how to imbue Sun directly into his transportation."
Grace pointed at the insane house. "Then he smashed into a home and killed the zombie Homeowner. Which means that he, a half plant half zombie zamboni driver, is now supposed to evolve and REPLACE the LAST Homeowner… And the automated processes to handle that are having issues."
Temptation gawked as a massive decaying maw of fangs emerged from the twisted garden… And got stomped on by a massive iron bucket with a cheerful squash in it. "That is crazy!"
Yes. Yes it was. "I expected our Lord to be evicted from this Realm entirely a few hours ago, and it even seemed to be a forgone event… But something happened and now reality is actually working TOGETHER with our lover to try out more impossible ideas and creations."
Temptation began to eagerly pull up video stream after data feed, her astonished giggling growing ever more mad and enthusiastic! "This is INCREDIBLE! Nothing in the logs I collected show ANY of these sorts of innovation, all the stuff I've collected has been tested and refined for so long that improvement was basically pointless and everything was leading toward stagnation!"
Grace didn't seem NEARLY as enthusiastic. "I know. Millions of years have passed without any major alterations… Not till John showed up."
Temptation blinked, pausing in confusion. "Actually, this might be critically important information here… I better make sure we document everything. Where's our Mistress, by the way?"
The angel winced.
The demoness looked up. "Sis?"
Grace didn't look at her. "At first, I thought it wouldn't matter. We both expected John to do something so crazy that all of us would get kicked out of the Realm, so I thought it was safe enough to let our Lady sleep in a bit more…"
Temptation nodded. "Reasonable… But obviously things have taken a big turn now, yes?"
She groaned! "Our Lady is going to be so disappointed in me! WHY didn't I call her as soon as our Lord began to make more and more unhinged decisions!? I have failed her! Forgive me, my Lord, for I have failed to reign in your raw enthusiasm and madness due to my own perversions and fascinations over your works, help me guide us away from temptation…" "HEY!" "Sorry, sister, I didn't mean… Sorry."
Temptation shrugged. "I know what you meant, even if a bit of sin is the spice of life in my opinion… As strange as it is for me to suggest moderation, if you do EVERYTHING in excess then you aren't sinning: You are just acting as usual."
…That made an uncomfortable amount of sense. "I… I shall wake Lady Jessica then."
Her sister glanced at the shining and shifting house. "Best do it quickly. I'm worried about what is going to happen when John finishes whatever craziness is going on in there."
Grace blinked. "You think things will get worse?"
She shook her head. "I'm worried that, as a new Homeowner, Sun-John will accidentally establish that place as our [[Home]] at the same time. If anything, it seems VERY likely to occur… And that might make things take an even STRANGER turn than all this."
The angel felt her eyes grow huge in shock… "System, wake Lady Jessica up NOW and send her here! Emergency Code Orange! Having our [[Home]] established HERE will FLOOD the place with raw Magic!"
Oh goodness, oh goodness, oh goodness! This was going to be an issue!
~~~Pocket System~~~
John considered the new form even as a few alerts gently dinged in the back of his mind.
After a lot of testing, he'd managed to preserve 97% of the essence of the Zamboni. Just… Well, the other bits were certainly THERE and you could feel it.
The machine felt more than majestic and ready to surface (Or magically produce) some ice…
It felt hungry.
But not for flesh or plants or even zombies… It thirsts for the Sun.
Which made the painted on fanged grin a tad unusual, especially because John could tell that the 'painted smile' could likely open up and consume someone if it so desired.
The hefty zamboni now had a small patch of… Well, let's call them 'smiling with hunger' Sun-Johns riding in the drivers seat.
These Sun-Johns were planted directly into the machine… Said machine which was designed with one third soil (for the plants), one third dead flesh (to interact with the zamboni components and fertilize the soil needed for said driver), and one third magical zombie zamboni madness.
During the night, this monster would sleep.
During the day, the ice would melt to water the soil fertilized by the endlessly decaying zombie components to help the Sun-Johns grow and produce Sun for collection…
And the produced Sun units would then empower this entire mess directly!
When empowered, the materials would resist damage while enhancing the effectiveness of the entire superstructure… Faster recovery, improved speed and handling, enhanced plant growth for the fields of drivers.
When sleeping, the flowers would wrap the entire mess up with leaves like a makeshift planet, incidentally camouflaging the entire machine in the process. Hell, the nightly coverage acted as an additional layer of armor! Crazy stuff.
John felt that a similar process to this had once occurred in this Realm long ago, which was how the impossibility of Dr. Zomboss happened to have occurred…
But this was HIS design, and he felt pretty good about it.
Oh, there were trade offs of course… Anything THIS large got slowed by reality when moving, like all massive zombies did. And it needed a LOT of Sun to evolve into one, almost double the amount that other giants required or even more…
But in return, it had a special ability.
If a defending Homeowner failed to quickly collect the Sun this thing generated while attacking?
This huge monster would get a short SURGE of both power and speed, quickly crushing plants in his path.
John had wanted to add more abilities and dangers and stuff, but there were some fundamental rules in play that forced some limits to the whole mess, and trying to work around those even THIS much had given him a headache… So this was good enough for now and he'd be happy with what he had got.
That said, if this was to become a new template?
Then John would be the one to name it!
Ahem… May I present to reality: Double-Sun Zombie Ridin the Flowered Zamboni!
…Reality said no.
AWW!
Uh… Something more basic maybe? The Sunny Zamboni Zomb-Bro-ni? I'd be called Sunny ZZ-Brony for short! Wait, that cartoon doesn't exist here does it?
Realty is unsure of what a cartoon is?
Then we are good! Sunny ZZ-Brony, template established and ready for deployment!
Reality has concerns.
Nah, it will be fine! Besides, if this forms some sort of Conceptual connection to that place this is one of the few Realms that wouldn't violently offend either batch of locals. After all, even the 'plants' here don't mind being consumed, and no one locally eats animals and stuff… Yeah, you would both love each other! And it's just a name anyway, so none of this matters. Probably.
Realty has even MORE concerns!
Don't worry about it! Is the name approved or not?
Reality wishes to have more information about…
The name comes from a land of friendship, one used by other realities to sell toys to young children while encouraging them to imagine other Realms. Even the worst of enemies there are likely to become close friends over time.
That doesn't SOUND too concerning…
So the name is fine?
…Tentatively confirmed 'Sunny ZZ-Brony' for the new unit's designation.
Sweet! No take-backsies now!
Reality wishes other concerns to be addressed at this point…
Nope! No time for that, now we have to worry about the automated systems that are trying to set a boss zombie template to run all these protocols as a Homeowner! Busy busy busy!
Roots mutating into dead flesh into enhanced magical zamboni components… It felt pretty high up on the 'unusual stuff' index. Fascinating from a data point of view though.
John felt the new Body suddenly bubble, [[Pop!]], and twist… Before it began restabilizing all over again. Apparently this attempt too was just unacceptably unstable. Meh, it'd find something to work with eventually… Right?
Hopefully, yes.
Another issue that was complicating this mess involved the background automated systems overseeing this mad science.
It kept trying to nudge his final form into one of three categories: Homeowner, Zombie, or Plant.
And for obvious reasons, this new creation kept oozing outside the lines. Sometimes literally.
Heck! If it wasn't for Magic and Conceptual Backing to help it all stick together, he'd have probably fallen apart completely by now!
But after several hours (Days? Weeks?), it looked like the alterations were slowing down and stabilizing.
[[Pop!]] Fuzzzzzzle….
Or at least, the failures were being spread further and further apart. That probably meant progress was being made, most likely.
No, the bigger issue is HOW this whole mess was 'stabilizing' the process.
By brute force.
Randomly smashing bits together to see if it doesn't explode.
Over and over again.
[[Pop!]] Fuzzzzzzle….
Case in point: THAT new Body had fifteen sunflower heads, 33 wheels (none touching the ground) and spewed ice from a dozen holes. Half organic, half not.
And that was one of the MORE stable attempts to get this car crash back on the road.
Sheesh!
Failure after failure, John watched with fascination.
No, putting an engine in a zombie does not make him fart ice.
No, putting a sunflower 'brain' inside a zamboni does not allow it to automatically drive itself.
No, more heads does not equal less problems. Especially since half of them were hybrid zombie/flower monstrosities that kept trying to eat themselves.
At some point the process shifted from amusing though and drifted towards sadness.
Like… Come on, you made all the OTHER zombie variants, right? How is this so hard?
Look, stop that… [[Just stop]] please, just… Let's start with something basic.
John felt a catalog of zombies open up and… Yeah, this one. The Gargantuar.
These guys are dumb muscles, basically a heavy vehicle that allows the tiny imp on their back to guide and direct them on their smashing way. Well, at least until the tiny dude makes too many poor decisions and the Gargantuar decides to throw him like a bean bag at something.
So treat this new unit the same way. The Zamboni will gain most of the reinforcement, the Magic, the Conceptual enhancements… While the Sun-John or Sunflower acts as the guiding force in the back.
I mean, that was almost what we came up with accidentally earlier, right? Can't we just do this and be done?
Then reality began pointing out to John that the Zamboni was partially zombie to begin with, which was how it was part of the zombie evolutionary tree to begin with.
And how it could eat Sun and stuff, and get powered up in the process.
The issue here was NOT using a zombie as the 'driver', because there was NO precedent available to show how this was supposed to work without exploding or dissolving or eating itself.
Hence why it was trying the brute force approach. And failing. Repeatedly.
John felt exasperated.
So, they just needed to design a MORE refined version of the 'Plant to Zombie' interface? The one John had ALREADY designed for the Sun-John Zamboni express earlier?
The aspects of existence paused at that… Because wasn't that component just a heavily damaged zombie fragment? It had already been repaired due to not working…
No, it HAD been working, just not in a manner or using a method that was documented within the automated systems.
…John felt the Realm just sort of considered that concept. For quite a while.
Then, tentatively… It reached out to him.
Did he have any examples? Documentation for that previous attempt? Similar ideas?
John couldn't help but grin from within the Sunflower Template.
Why… Yes.
Yes he did.
~~~Pocket System~~~
Grace stared at the flickering home on the video stream.
Monstrosities or spells were being planted, then giant zombies merged with machines would consume them, only for adorable animal plants to consume them all, followed by angry grass and rabid bushes and…
Thankfully, the madness seemed to be focused and concentrated to this one house that the insane Sun-John had smashed into earlier.
For now.
She heard her sister connect to the virtual conference room before she entered through the doorway yawning. "Good morning sis! Man I feel like I haven't slept this well since the three of us used that one tingly lube and… Oh hell, what's happening NOW!?"
Grace looked at the chaos. "In order? John ended up gathering SO much Sun that some areas of the Realm fell into 'night time mode' earlier than they were supposed to… But even so, the Realm wouldn't give our Lord a zamboni because plants were just solidified spell matrices and weren't allowed to 'evolve' into zombies with equipment."
She sighed. "Then one of him found out how ZOMBIES were evolving, forced the process MANUALLY, and enabled a large percentage of the Sun-Johns to be planted as Sun-John Zambonis. But plants, or at least John, turned out to have a terrible time learning how to steer. Which transformed into IMPOSSIBLE to control madness when he learned how to imbue Sun directly into his transportation."
Grace pointed at the insane house. "Then he smashed into a home and killed the zombie Homeowner. Which means that he, a half plant half zombie zamboni driver, is now supposed to evolve and REPLACE the LAST Homeowner… And the automated processes to handle that are having issues."
Temptation gawked as a massive decaying maw of fangs emerged from the twisted garden… And got stomped on by a massive iron bucket with a cheerful squash in it. "That is crazy!"
Yes. Yes it was. "I expected our Lord to be evicted from this Realm entirely a few hours ago, and it even seemed to be a forgone event… But something happened and now reality is actually working TOGETHER with our lover to try out more impossible ideas and creations."
Temptation began to eagerly pull up video stream after data feed, her astonished giggling growing ever more mad and enthusiastic! "This is INCREDIBLE! Nothing in the logs I collected show ANY of these sorts of innovation, all the stuff I've collected has been tested and refined for so long that improvement was basically pointless and everything was leading toward stagnation!"
Grace didn't seem NEARLY as enthusiastic. "I know. Millions of years have passed without any major alterations… Not till John showed up."
Temptation blinked, pausing in confusion. "Actually, this might be critically important information here… I better make sure we document everything. Where's our Mistress, by the way?"
The angel winced.
The demoness looked up. "Sis?"
Grace didn't look at her. "At first, I thought it wouldn't matter. We both expected John to do something so crazy that all of us would get kicked out of the Realm, so I thought it was safe enough to let our Lady sleep in a bit more…"
Temptation nodded. "Reasonable… But obviously things have taken a big turn now, yes?"
She groaned! "Our Lady is going to be so disappointed in me! WHY didn't I call her as soon as our Lord began to make more and more unhinged decisions!? I have failed her! Forgive me, my Lord, for I have failed to reign in your raw enthusiasm and madness due to my own perversions and fascinations over your works, help me guide us away from temptation…" "HEY!" "Sorry, sister, I didn't mean… Sorry."
Temptation shrugged. "I know what you meant, even if a bit of sin is the spice of life in my opinion… As strange as it is for me to suggest moderation, if you do EVERYTHING in excess then you aren't sinning: You are just acting as usual."
…That made an uncomfortable amount of sense. "I… I shall wake Lady Jessica then."
Her sister glanced at the shining and shifting house. "Best do it quickly. I'm worried about what is going to happen when John finishes whatever craziness is going on in there."
Grace blinked. "You think things will get worse?"
She shook her head. "I'm worried that, as a new Homeowner, Sun-John will accidentally establish that place as our [[Home]] at the same time. If anything, it seems VERY likely to occur… And that might make things take an even STRANGER turn than all this."
The angel felt her eyes grow huge in shock… "System, wake Lady Jessica up NOW and send her here! Emergency Code Orange! Having our [[Home]] established HERE will FLOOD the place with raw Magic!"
Oh goodness, oh goodness, oh goodness! This was going to be an issue!
~~~Pocket System~~~
John considered the new form even as a few alerts gently dinged in the back of his mind.
After a lot of testing, he'd managed to preserve 97% of the essence of the Zamboni. Just… Well, the other bits were certainly THERE and you could feel it.
The machine felt more than majestic and ready to surface (Or magically produce) some ice…
It felt hungry.
But not for flesh or plants or even zombies… It thirsts for the Sun.
Which made the painted on fanged grin a tad unusual, especially because John could tell that the 'painted smile' could likely open up and consume someone if it so desired.
The hefty zamboni now had a small patch of… Well, let's call them 'smiling with hunger' Sun-Johns riding in the drivers seat.
These Sun-Johns were planted directly into the machine… Said machine which was designed with one third soil (for the plants), one third dead flesh (to interact with the zamboni components and fertilize the soil needed for said driver), and one third magical zombie zamboni madness.
During the night, this monster would sleep.
During the day, the ice would melt to water the soil fertilized by the endlessly decaying zombie components to help the Sun-Johns grow and produce Sun for collection…
And the produced Sun units would then empower this entire mess directly!
When empowered, the materials would resist damage while enhancing the effectiveness of the entire superstructure… Faster recovery, improved speed and handling, enhanced plant growth for the fields of drivers.
When sleeping, the flowers would wrap the entire mess up with leaves like a makeshift planet, incidentally camouflaging the entire machine in the process. Hell, the nightly coverage acted as an additional layer of armor! Crazy stuff.
John felt that a similar process to this had once occurred in this Realm long ago, which was how the impossibility of Dr. Zomboss happened to have occurred…
But this was HIS design, and he felt pretty good about it.
Oh, there were trade offs of course… Anything THIS large got slowed by reality when moving, like all massive zombies did. And it needed a LOT of Sun to evolve into one, almost double the amount that other giants required or even more…
But in return, it had a special ability.
If a defending Homeowner failed to quickly collect the Sun this thing generated while attacking?
This huge monster would get a short SURGE of both power and speed, quickly crushing plants in his path.
John had wanted to add more abilities and dangers and stuff, but there were some fundamental rules in play that forced some limits to the whole mess, and trying to work around those even THIS much had given him a headache… So this was good enough for now and he'd be happy with what he had got.
That said, if this was to become a new template?
Then John would be the one to name it!
Ahem… May I present to reality: Double-Sun Zombie Ridin the Flowered Zamboni!
…Reality said no.
AWW!
Uh… Something more basic maybe? The Sunny Zamboni Zomb-Bro-ni? I'd be called Sunny ZZ-Brony for short! Wait, that cartoon doesn't exist here does it?
Realty is unsure of what a cartoon is?
Then we are good! Sunny ZZ-Brony, template established and ready for deployment!
Reality has concerns.
Nah, it will be fine! Besides, if this forms some sort of Conceptual connection to that place this is one of the few Realms that wouldn't violently offend either batch of locals. After all, even the 'plants' here don't mind being consumed, and no one locally eats animals and stuff… Yeah, you would both love each other! And it's just a name anyway, so none of this matters. Probably.
Realty has even MORE concerns!
Don't worry about it! Is the name approved or not?
Reality wishes to have more information about…
The name comes from a land of friendship, one used by other realities to sell toys to young children while encouraging them to imagine other Realms. Even the worst of enemies there are likely to become close friends over time.
That doesn't SOUND too concerning…
So the name is fine?
…Tentatively confirmed 'Sunny ZZ-Brony' for the new unit's designation.
Sweet! No take-backsies now!
Reality wishes other concerns to be addressed at this point…
Nope! No time for that, now we have to worry about the automated systems that are trying to set a boss zombie template to run all these protocols as a Homeowner! Busy busy busy!
Last edited:
- Location
- Sol;Terra;EU;D;NRW
Now John SunBossombieowner is about to have someone from Sunnydale walk into a new part of the park and encounter horticultuar madness.
It is probably going to be Xander.
Ooops?
It is probably going to be Xander.
Ooops?
This is a slightly different direction than I thought. I thought I was going to garden warfare or concert.
I see [/stop] but no [start]???
- Location
- Earth
I like to imagine this is the reality desperately trying to slow down John so it can get some answers.
- Location
- United States
It's [Stop] and [/Stop]
Basically John paused everything, did all the design stuff and now ended the pause.
- Location
- Here
I accidentally left in one URL, fixed it, and now it forces that to be added to the end of my text every time I save.
No, I don't know why!
~~~~Edit~~~~
Figured it out!
If anywhere in your text you have the single word [[Stop]], the site will assume it's code and force the closing bracket later. Eugh.
See?[/Stop]
Last edited:
The song of inventing... And explosions!
- Location
- Here
Fun fact!
If the basic rules of reality get bent TOO far, the house explodes!
Or if you attempt to insert a new Body the size of a double decker bus into the place, the house explodes!
Or if you accidentally convert ALL new Sun-Johns into Sunny ZZ-Bronies, a LOT of houses ALL OVER the place explodes!
Although that last issue was quickly rolled back, John at least learned some important stuff about not spawning two rows of MASSIVE creatures next to each other with an incorrectly marked Sun cost for the Homeowner.
Because when they TRIED to plant a 50 Sun sunflower, they GOT a stupidly expensive Sunny ZZ-Brony instead.
Which, due to being called forth with a negative Sun balance, proceeded to drain ALL SUN in the area to try and fix the issue.
Killing all the plant spells.
Killing all the zombies.
Draining ambient Sun down to the point where it became WORSE than the nighttime yards.
…That was an oopsie, make no mistake. But those were problems of the past!
NOW we have the problems of today!
Like all the exploding houses!
Fortunately the zombies themselves were having a blast (literally), so the Realm was mildly frustrated at the ongoing issues but unconcerned over the process in general.
So onwards! Let's try restricting new Sunny ZZ-Brony spawns unless enough Sun is available for construction!
[[Pop!]] [[CRUNCH!]] Fuzzzzzzle….
…And uh, ALSO restrict it to spawn when there is enough room… Or only be born if it is strong enough to push everything else out of the way before it self-destructs due to being trapped.
ALso also! Let's just… Reduce the explosive yield of the 'self destruct' option, shall we?
Because falling apart should NOT be the same as setting off a massive bomb, thank you very much! Not unintentionally at the very least!
So um, scale this bit WAY down, because collecting extra Sun is nice but not evaporating five city blocks on death is just being polite… And make sure the home rebuilds itself again… And the other ones around this destination zone…
Eugh, this is going to take a few minutes.
Right, this should make future experiments less annoying! And less explody! And less time consuming!
…The freed up Sun usage would also let John scale up future Sunny ZZ-Bronies to even larger sizes.
Hmm…
Nah, it is already so large that roads are basically suggestions rather than a requirement.
Any larger and we might as well make my Body the home and take this whole zombie invasion on the road!
Hell yeah! Wait, could I attach a theme song to this template!? Let's see here…
[[Get your zamboni runnin'... Head out on the highway! Looking for adventure… In whatever comes our way. Yeah, darlin' gonna make it happen! Take the world in a love embrace… Fire all of your plants at once and… Explode into space!]]
Woo yeah! This was going to be awesome! Let's spawn one of these bad boys!
[[Pop!]] [[D̥̬̺i̦d͉̮̹̯͎͖͍d͚͍̤̳̞̫̳̤ͅl̝͉y̻͔̠̦-̯̰͎̯͇d̳̟̠͍̖͔i̭̩̖d̥̲̮̻ḍl͍̱͍ͅy̜̱ ̮̜͔̖̺D̤e̺̰e͖ḛ̭̞̠͉̪̗e̱͎̫̻̞͔̹e̼̹͕e͈!͓͙̙̮͈̲̥]] [[EXPLOSIONS!?!?]] Fuzzzzzzle….
Uh.
What?
John began reviewing the VERY loud and confusing data… Huh.
Note to self: That subroutine wasn't the 'theme song' protocol or some sort of speaker setup.
It was the 'spawn sub-zombies' protocol. Used by the disco zombie and others to call forth their undead brethren to the field of delicious battle.
Only instead of John submitting a zombie template to be summoned, he had inserted the heart of Rock and Roll.
….He was going to do it again!
[[Pop!]] [[D̥̬̺i̦d͉̮̹̯͎͖͍d͚͍̤̳̞̫̳̤ͅl̝͉y̻͔̠̦-̯̰͎̯͇d̳̟̠͍̖͔i̭̩̖d̥̲̮̻ḍl͍̱͍ͅy̜̱ ̮̜͔̖̺D̤e̺̰e͖ḛ̭̞̠͉̪̗e̱͎̫̻̞͔̹e̼̹͕e͈!͓͙̙̮͈̲̥]] [[NANI!?!?]] Fuzzzzzzle….
Ha! This was awesome!
Reality would like John to finish developing the Sunny ZZ-Brony template so further corrections may occur to resolve the ongoing issue of John's current living status.
Oh come on! Just a few more exploding musical Concepts… Please? Oh, let me try this one out…
[[Pop!]] [[M̼̬̘̣m͙̹ ͚̮w̭h͚̣̲͍̳͙̮a̻̠t̞̪̳c̳̭̪h͙͕͖̟̥ạ͉̯̝̼̥̜̤ ̩s̥̘̣a͈̠y͕̭?̼͖͔̲̪̤]] [[Oh NO!]] Fuzzzzzzle….
Wait, what? That explosion didn't sound quite right… And who was The Lonely Island anyway?
Reality insists that John finishes developing…
In a minute, I just need to find how to get audio loops to… Oh, right, the plants! We hum and stuff all the time, it must be coded into our spell templates! One sec, let me pull those up…
…Reality is concerned that unit Sunny ZZ-Brony will require further mutation to adapt to performing musical numbers despite his limited range of movement.
Huh? Oh, well that's a good point… Although musical numbers performed in synchronized vehicles is a thing, it would be REALLY expensive Sun-wise to get enough Sunny ZZ-Bronies together to perform something on a larger scale… Meh, that can be a future issue. Theme songs first!
John happily ignored the growing concern that Reality had over the non-addressed conflict that continued to fester due to no active Homeowner being available to 'claim' this house, as he was FAR too busy making sure his future Sunny ZZ-Bronies could cruze with proper tunes.
It was important to hit the road in style! Hell yeah!
~~~Pocket System~~~
Jessica stared at her mug.
This was one of the better aspects of Borg enhanced super science/holographic emitter based/magic enhanced/whatever the hell these simulations were after John got done with it…
This place was more Real than it should be.
Case in point?
Her coffee.
It had the taste. Smell. The perfect temperature. The effects of caffeine.
And even if she left the Pocket right now, she'd still feel like she had consumed this mug of wonderfulness.
Bother her Body and Mind would act as if they had sipped this ambrosia, and the nutrients and such would be provided as if consumed.
As for the effect on the Soul… Well, again: The holographic emitters from the Duel Monster's Realm were basically designed AROUND the Soul from the start! That angle was perfectly covered, thank you very much. Just ask any of her agents.
So she felt awake.
And aware.
And fully unprepared for this situation. "So while I was sleeping…"
Temptation was grinning her ass off, as she considered 'guilt', 'shame', and 'seriousness' to be something that happened to other people. "John broke all the rules of reality, became a cyborg undead plant vehicle before going on an insane rampage, before eventually somehow convincing reality to hire him to act as an advisor to existence directly."
Grace looked like she was going to cry. "I thought I had everything in hand, but everything escalated so quickly… And then I was scared to wake you up… And… And…"
Oh dear. "Come here, sweetheart."
She pulled the angel into a sniffling hug. "Shh, shh… It's alright. We all know the Frog Emperor tends to go a little off the rails even with all of us working together to keep him focused… And he's fine, and we're fine, and reality seems to be either tolerating or partially adopting my little bro, so nothing's wrong. Alright?"
The white woman just murmured apologies while her sister stood by awkwardly.
Temptation huffed! "Well, I say things didn't go wrong… They went great!" She pointed at the video streams. "He's distracting all the Sun-Johns with this current whatever-is-happening, so they've all calmed down. Reality is no longer at risk of punting us all away from this Realm… I'm getting all SORTS of interesting data from John as he plays about in that confusing purgatory state of existence…"
She crossed her arms. "Even the squished zombies from the earlier rampage seem happy about all the odd things happening over here! I mean, sure we might be THIS close to connecting this odd zombie afterlife to our [[Home]] network, which might do some really confusing things to our vampires over in Doe Park and stuff, but Grace and I am pretty sure we've prevented the risk of contamination spreading between Realms and stuff and…"
Jessica held her other arm out. "Would you like a hug too?"
The black woman shuffled… And then came in to join the group, hugging Jessica and her sister tightly. "I'm just doing this because you are both sexy women and because of sibling wincest, not because of any sort of mushy feeling stuff, alright? This is STRICTLY perverted wish fulfillment, like… Like a transactional hug."
Jessica hugged them both tightly. "Shh, shh… It's alright. John's okay, you both have done wonderfully these last few days, we are safe, the new security modules are operating as expected or even better… You both did VERY good, and I am extremely proud of you both. And I know John has never stopped thinking the WORLD of you two, and believes you both can do anything you put your mind towards."
She ignored any theoretical crying, although she did glance at her unfinished mug of delicious coffee…
But it would be trivial to refill in a moment or two.
For now, she needed to settle these two down and let them know that everything would be alright.
~~~Pocket System~~~
John blinked… Hey, what if we reversed things?
Reality didn't understand.
John grinned even larger, not that he properly existed at the moment. What if, instead of the Homeowner defending his house from invading zombie hoards… What if my home becomes a plant AND zombie fortress that wants to eat EVERYONE!?
He brought up the home template and began working on a copy.
Yeah, instead of trying to wedge my new existence into the ongoing patterns out there, let's make this a multiplayer raid event! All the homes around my fortress will be able to plant defenses and stuff, and then HIRE zombies using Sun to launch assaults towards a single foe: ME!
More and more thoughts began to fly as John began expanding the concepts…
As the fortress master, I'd be making plant/zombie/vehicle abominations and act as a global threat to everyone in the area… Or at least, a local threat if nothing else.
Reality considered that as John showed more and more data.
It would also allow a single location that can afford to spawn a Sunny ZZ-Brony to become the focus of DOZENS nearby homes, and introduce all sorts of fascinating new options!
Maybe housing clusters could join teams against John?
Allow them to trade resources like a market between them, via Crazy Dave?
Sacrifice damage output or Sun gathering to either build up reserve resources or hire more powerful zombie assault teams!?
This would both settle all these background automated processes AND offer an entirely new form of entertainment to the undead masses, without even requiring a lot of effort redesigning existing templates!
Reality looked at the proposal… But didn't reject it immediately.
Hell yes, John had a chance here!
As for the things I could send out to attack everyone, we can use many of these mostly stable 'brute force' mutation attempts we discovered while designing my new Sunny ZZ-Brony Body! No extra work needed, no need to heavily alter the home template and risk damaging any of the existing routines or procedures… Come on, this is a great idea!
Reality WAS a little tempted…
Oh go on, don't be a wimp! Where's the big bad force of existence that chucked me into a mutation cycle with a corpse and a vehicle? Remember when you tried to make me have tires for eyes and stuff? This is WAY less of an issue than THOSE problems, right? Right?
…Reality hesitantly agrees to proposal 32b281330 predocument alpha subset iii. For a trial duration, under heavy observation, without global rollout for a MINIMUM of three months review first!
Hell yeah! You won't regret this, existence! You just wait and I'll have all SORTS of hungry mechanical undead plants ready to munch on stuff! I bet it will take DOZENS of teams to fully knock me down, it's going to be so awesome!
Reality is rapidly reconsidering agreeing to proposal 32b281330 predocument alpha subset iii!
Reality has concerns!
Meh, it will all work out fine… Trust me!
Reality wishes to have more information about the defining restrictions for this proposed event template for prototype 'Raid Fortress' under proposal 32b28…
Too late! I've already started implementing stuff and… Oh. Oops… Uh, ignore that? It wasn't important and I'm fixing it now anyway!
Realty has even MORE concerns!
If the basic rules of reality get bent TOO far, the house explodes!
Or if you attempt to insert a new Body the size of a double decker bus into the place, the house explodes!
Or if you accidentally convert ALL new Sun-Johns into Sunny ZZ-Bronies, a LOT of houses ALL OVER the place explodes!
Although that last issue was quickly rolled back, John at least learned some important stuff about not spawning two rows of MASSIVE creatures next to each other with an incorrectly marked Sun cost for the Homeowner.
Because when they TRIED to plant a 50 Sun sunflower, they GOT a stupidly expensive Sunny ZZ-Brony instead.
Which, due to being called forth with a negative Sun balance, proceeded to drain ALL SUN in the area to try and fix the issue.
Killing all the plant spells.
Killing all the zombies.
Draining ambient Sun down to the point where it became WORSE than the nighttime yards.
…That was an oopsie, make no mistake. But those were problems of the past!
NOW we have the problems of today!
Like all the exploding houses!
Fortunately the zombies themselves were having a blast (literally), so the Realm was mildly frustrated at the ongoing issues but unconcerned over the process in general.
So onwards! Let's try restricting new Sunny ZZ-Brony spawns unless enough Sun is available for construction!
[[Pop!]] [[CRUNCH!]] Fuzzzzzzle….
…And uh, ALSO restrict it to spawn when there is enough room… Or only be born if it is strong enough to push everything else out of the way before it self-destructs due to being trapped.
ALso also! Let's just… Reduce the explosive yield of the 'self destruct' option, shall we?
Because falling apart should NOT be the same as setting off a massive bomb, thank you very much! Not unintentionally at the very least!
So um, scale this bit WAY down, because collecting extra Sun is nice but not evaporating five city blocks on death is just being polite… And make sure the home rebuilds itself again… And the other ones around this destination zone…
Eugh, this is going to take a few minutes.
Right, this should make future experiments less annoying! And less explody! And less time consuming!
…The freed up Sun usage would also let John scale up future Sunny ZZ-Bronies to even larger sizes.
Hmm…
Nah, it is already so large that roads are basically suggestions rather than a requirement.
Any larger and we might as well make my Body the home and take this whole zombie invasion on the road!
Hell yeah! Wait, could I attach a theme song to this template!? Let's see here…
[[Get your zamboni runnin'... Head out on the highway! Looking for adventure… In whatever comes our way. Yeah, darlin' gonna make it happen! Take the world in a love embrace… Fire all of your plants at once and… Explode into space!]]
Woo yeah! This was going to be awesome! Let's spawn one of these bad boys!
[[Pop!]] [[D̥̬̺i̦d͉̮̹̯͎͖͍d͚͍̤̳̞̫̳̤ͅl̝͉y̻͔̠̦-̯̰͎̯͇d̳̟̠͍̖͔i̭̩̖d̥̲̮̻ḍl͍̱͍ͅy̜̱ ̮̜͔̖̺D̤e̺̰e͖ḛ̭̞̠͉̪̗e̱͎̫̻̞͔̹e̼̹͕e͈!͓͙̙̮͈̲̥]] [[EXPLOSIONS!?!?]] Fuzzzzzzle….
Uh.
What?
John began reviewing the VERY loud and confusing data… Huh.
Note to self: That subroutine wasn't the 'theme song' protocol or some sort of speaker setup.
It was the 'spawn sub-zombies' protocol. Used by the disco zombie and others to call forth their undead brethren to the field of delicious battle.
Only instead of John submitting a zombie template to be summoned, he had inserted the heart of Rock and Roll.
….He was going to do it again!
[[Pop!]] [[D̥̬̺i̦d͉̮̹̯͎͖͍d͚͍̤̳̞̫̳̤ͅl̝͉y̻͔̠̦-̯̰͎̯͇d̳̟̠͍̖͔i̭̩̖d̥̲̮̻ḍl͍̱͍ͅy̜̱ ̮̜͔̖̺D̤e̺̰e͖ḛ̭̞̠͉̪̗e̱͎̫̻̞͔̹e̼̹͕e͈!͓͙̙̮͈̲̥]] [[NANI!?!?]] Fuzzzzzzle….
Ha! This was awesome!
Reality would like John to finish developing the Sunny ZZ-Brony template so further corrections may occur to resolve the ongoing issue of John's current living status.
Oh come on! Just a few more exploding musical Concepts… Please? Oh, let me try this one out…
[[Pop!]] [[M̼̬̘̣m͙̹ ͚̮w̭h͚̣̲͍̳͙̮a̻̠t̞̪̳c̳̭̪h͙͕͖̟̥ạ͉̯̝̼̥̜̤ ̩s̥̘̣a͈̠y͕̭?̼͖͔̲̪̤]] [[Oh NO!]] Fuzzzzzzle….
Wait, what? That explosion didn't sound quite right… And who was The Lonely Island anyway?
Reality insists that John finishes developing…
In a minute, I just need to find how to get audio loops to… Oh, right, the plants! We hum and stuff all the time, it must be coded into our spell templates! One sec, let me pull those up…
…Reality is concerned that unit Sunny ZZ-Brony will require further mutation to adapt to performing musical numbers despite his limited range of movement.
Huh? Oh, well that's a good point… Although musical numbers performed in synchronized vehicles is a thing, it would be REALLY expensive Sun-wise to get enough Sunny ZZ-Bronies together to perform something on a larger scale… Meh, that can be a future issue. Theme songs first!
John happily ignored the growing concern that Reality had over the non-addressed conflict that continued to fester due to no active Homeowner being available to 'claim' this house, as he was FAR too busy making sure his future Sunny ZZ-Bronies could cruze with proper tunes.
It was important to hit the road in style! Hell yeah!
~~~Pocket System~~~
Jessica stared at her mug.
This was one of the better aspects of Borg enhanced super science/holographic emitter based/magic enhanced/whatever the hell these simulations were after John got done with it…
This place was more Real than it should be.
Case in point?
Her coffee.
It had the taste. Smell. The perfect temperature. The effects of caffeine.
And even if she left the Pocket right now, she'd still feel like she had consumed this mug of wonderfulness.
Bother her Body and Mind would act as if they had sipped this ambrosia, and the nutrients and such would be provided as if consumed.
As for the effect on the Soul… Well, again: The holographic emitters from the Duel Monster's Realm were basically designed AROUND the Soul from the start! That angle was perfectly covered, thank you very much. Just ask any of her agents.
So she felt awake.
And aware.
And fully unprepared for this situation. "So while I was sleeping…"
Temptation was grinning her ass off, as she considered 'guilt', 'shame', and 'seriousness' to be something that happened to other people. "John broke all the rules of reality, became a cyborg undead plant vehicle before going on an insane rampage, before eventually somehow convincing reality to hire him to act as an advisor to existence directly."
Grace looked like she was going to cry. "I thought I had everything in hand, but everything escalated so quickly… And then I was scared to wake you up… And… And…"
Oh dear. "Come here, sweetheart."
She pulled the angel into a sniffling hug. "Shh, shh… It's alright. We all know the Frog Emperor tends to go a little off the rails even with all of us working together to keep him focused… And he's fine, and we're fine, and reality seems to be either tolerating or partially adopting my little bro, so nothing's wrong. Alright?"
The white woman just murmured apologies while her sister stood by awkwardly.
Temptation huffed! "Well, I say things didn't go wrong… They went great!" She pointed at the video streams. "He's distracting all the Sun-Johns with this current whatever-is-happening, so they've all calmed down. Reality is no longer at risk of punting us all away from this Realm… I'm getting all SORTS of interesting data from John as he plays about in that confusing purgatory state of existence…"
She crossed her arms. "Even the squished zombies from the earlier rampage seem happy about all the odd things happening over here! I mean, sure we might be THIS close to connecting this odd zombie afterlife to our [[Home]] network, which might do some really confusing things to our vampires over in Doe Park and stuff, but Grace and I am pretty sure we've prevented the risk of contamination spreading between Realms and stuff and…"
Jessica held her other arm out. "Would you like a hug too?"
The black woman shuffled… And then came in to join the group, hugging Jessica and her sister tightly. "I'm just doing this because you are both sexy women and because of sibling wincest, not because of any sort of mushy feeling stuff, alright? This is STRICTLY perverted wish fulfillment, like… Like a transactional hug."
Jessica hugged them both tightly. "Shh, shh… It's alright. John's okay, you both have done wonderfully these last few days, we are safe, the new security modules are operating as expected or even better… You both did VERY good, and I am extremely proud of you both. And I know John has never stopped thinking the WORLD of you two, and believes you both can do anything you put your mind towards."
She ignored any theoretical crying, although she did glance at her unfinished mug of delicious coffee…
But it would be trivial to refill in a moment or two.
For now, she needed to settle these two down and let them know that everything would be alright.
~~~Pocket System~~~
John blinked… Hey, what if we reversed things?
Reality didn't understand.
John grinned even larger, not that he properly existed at the moment. What if, instead of the Homeowner defending his house from invading zombie hoards… What if my home becomes a plant AND zombie fortress that wants to eat EVERYONE!?
He brought up the home template and began working on a copy.
Yeah, instead of trying to wedge my new existence into the ongoing patterns out there, let's make this a multiplayer raid event! All the homes around my fortress will be able to plant defenses and stuff, and then HIRE zombies using Sun to launch assaults towards a single foe: ME!
More and more thoughts began to fly as John began expanding the concepts…
As the fortress master, I'd be making plant/zombie/vehicle abominations and act as a global threat to everyone in the area… Or at least, a local threat if nothing else.
Reality considered that as John showed more and more data.
It would also allow a single location that can afford to spawn a Sunny ZZ-Brony to become the focus of DOZENS nearby homes, and introduce all sorts of fascinating new options!
Maybe housing clusters could join teams against John?
Allow them to trade resources like a market between them, via Crazy Dave?
Sacrifice damage output or Sun gathering to either build up reserve resources or hire more powerful zombie assault teams!?
This would both settle all these background automated processes AND offer an entirely new form of entertainment to the undead masses, without even requiring a lot of effort redesigning existing templates!
Reality looked at the proposal… But didn't reject it immediately.
Hell yes, John had a chance here!
As for the things I could send out to attack everyone, we can use many of these mostly stable 'brute force' mutation attempts we discovered while designing my new Sunny ZZ-Brony Body! No extra work needed, no need to heavily alter the home template and risk damaging any of the existing routines or procedures… Come on, this is a great idea!
Reality WAS a little tempted…
Oh go on, don't be a wimp! Where's the big bad force of existence that chucked me into a mutation cycle with a corpse and a vehicle? Remember when you tried to make me have tires for eyes and stuff? This is WAY less of an issue than THOSE problems, right? Right?
…Reality hesitantly agrees to proposal 32b281330 predocument alpha subset iii. For a trial duration, under heavy observation, without global rollout for a MINIMUM of three months review first!
Hell yeah! You won't regret this, existence! You just wait and I'll have all SORTS of hungry mechanical undead plants ready to munch on stuff! I bet it will take DOZENS of teams to fully knock me down, it's going to be so awesome!
Reality is rapidly reconsidering agreeing to proposal 32b281330 predocument alpha subset iii!
Reality has concerns!
Meh, it will all work out fine… Trust me!
Reality wishes to have more information about the defining restrictions for this proposed event template for prototype 'Raid Fortress' under proposal 32b28…
Too late! I've already started implementing stuff and… Oh. Oops… Uh, ignore that? It wasn't important and I'm fixing it now anyway!
Realty has even MORE concerns!
- Location
- Australia
Is it just me, or has he become even MORE hyperactive?!??!?!
Jordisk
<Unverified N00B>
- Location
- Blind Eternities
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Dude is hyped up on magical
- Location
- Paradise, Hawaii
So, Disco or Michael Jackson "Thriller" Zombies.
Does that mean "Moonwalker" is close, Smooth Criminal as well?
Will John convince Reality that John can croon or SING REALLY WELL?
Is John going to Zootopia or an Animal based reality?
Try Everything is a nice song.
Does that mean "Moonwalker" is close, Smooth Criminal as well?
Will John convince Reality that John can croon or SING REALLY WELL?
Is John going to Zootopia or an Animal based reality?
Try Everything is a nice song.
- Location
- Sol;Terra;EU;D;NRW
It's not a gnome plot he is the gnomes
- Location
- Ireland
Just after catching up today. I loved the frog exedus from Yu-Gi-Oh. It tied into the fact that there were no frog spirits in gx. Lol.
- Location
- My happy place
The madness is getting way, way too much. I was hoping he was getting better but guess not. As soon as eyes get taken off of him he goes really, really crazy pretty damm fast. Why is he being almost stubbornly stupid about things? Making a point not to listen and being bratty with local reality. How old is he mentally? I thought he was growing up at little. Feels like backsliding.