Glitchrr36
Slick's Short Company, CEO
- Location
- The Wastes
- Pronouns
- He/Him
the opening of the movie is that. For some reason the writers at dreamworks thought it was a good idea.
On a Backwater Planet, a Metal Extractor is Built [PA/Multicross SI]
- Status
Dolly Fail Fail
Boss Leader
- Location
- Within dreams and memories
That's what makes it funny, either they didn't know that when writing the movie, or it wasn't proven false at the time, but it's a decent part of what made the bee movie script a meme
Glitchrr36
Slick's Short Company, CEO
- Location
- The Wastes
- Pronouns
- He/Him
The Bee Movie was a pretty terrible Dreamworks movie which has an ironic following. The script is posted sometimes as a shitposting method.
Chapter Twenty One: We're no strangers to lo~ve. You know the rules, and so do I.
Glitchrr36
Slick's Short Company, CEO
- Location
- The Wastes
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Well, that would be PHO. Which means worm. Which means a couple of things for me.
First and foremost, this was one of the few universes where I was significantly outclassed, maybe. I don't trust a lot of what Wildbow said outside of canon, as he seemed to be under the impression that Madrid was coastal. Be that as it may, the Endbringers, Scion, Contessa, and maybe a couple of the other parahumans were capable of either instagibbing me or if not capable of destroying me outright, fully capable of screwing me over so I get hit by a meteor or something later.
Second, while I knew what happened in canon, which is useless because I'll probably end up messing up the timeline within the next two or three days, after I hollow out a hole in the ground so that nothing can find me.
What I did know however, was a fair bit as to how the world works: where powers come from, how to theoretically negate them, what would need to happen to gain a 'best end' scenario, and much, much more. This was very good, as I wouldn't let the stuff needed for theevents that lead to shit getting bad fast happen.
Third, this universe was a veritable fucking goldmine for tech. Of the top of my head, I could name superweapons capable of destroying celestial bodies from a platform that wasn't fifty meters on its shortest axis, time fuckery, AI research, though that was pretty much useless, modulation, efficiency, hardlight constructions, land battleships, and most likely a fuckton of stuff not covered by canon that would be mine for the taking. Depending on whether or not I can get just the base principals and build my own versions, I could kill Scion and the Endbringers within a few week just by stealing Haywire's planar tech, and then hunting down the shards that housed their main consciousness and power or that made up their powers and mass reserved and blow them to hell with Ragnaroks placed gently on their surface.
Fourth, I was bored in the last setting, and this one had a boundless number of people to troll. Saint, Halbeard, Cauldron, Coil, the list goes on and on. And I intended to do so.
Actually, you know what canon Worm was missing? Ham. A large one, to be precise. And I shall try to fill that roll as best as I am able, for great justice and hijinks.That word has three lower case letters with dots on them and it looks very weird. I digress.
So yeah, I could totally do a "Stop right there, you nefarious ne'r-do-wells, in the name of JUSTICE!" Though that sounded a little boring. On the other hand, I could be a world conquering, cat petting villain and be hammy there to.
Or, I could just do whatever I want regardless of morals, since there was a single digit list of individuals and groups who could actually deal with me at least for a bit should I decide to go full BESRMoW, and one of them would probably be inclined to let me get away with it, since I would be doing it against the other few.
But before I can be morally ambiguous world conquering robot, I need something to interact with normal humans with because as it is I can easily crush...everything smaller than a baneblade under my foot completely by accident. Since I'm fairly sure I somewhat miss being a normal person on some level, I'll make one of those instead of something more outlandish, as well as the form giving it improved infiltration capabilities.
Let's get to work.
=====================================================================
After a few subjective months of getting everything to work like an actual human, I was done.
My avatar looked kind of like I did, except for a lot of stuff that I had changed because I could. For starters, I added another thirteen centimeters onto the height, bringing me to almost four centimeters over two meters tall, because tall people were more intimidating and all of the male members of my mother's side of the family had been goddamn giants.
My uncle was one of the shortest, and he was pushing six foot five, while my mother's cousins were six eight and seven feet tall. So it wasn't too out there.
Next up was increasing muscle tone, since my body reflected the fact I prefered to stay inside rather than do pedestrian activities such as sports or whatever. I kept my legs as they were, since they were fairly muscular due to the fact that a short walk for me was often a little over two kilometers long.
I kept my hair the same slightly longer than mid neck length, kept my "facial hair," which in actuality was only on the bottom of my chin, slightly darkened the hair color, and kept pretty much everything the same on my face, barring some minor stuff, like an even tan and removing some of the pimples. I could probably be perceived as original me's brother, which was what I was going for.
Overall, I was much better built than I had been, though I didn't do anything ridiculous like giving myself a Joestar build. It was a lot closer to how swimmers looked, being fairly lean.
The actual internals were a different story. In the place of a brain, I had some transmission stuff and sensors, while the computer core was located in the chest region, along with a small internal fabricator that could connect through tubes to my hands for building tiny stuff.
The bones had all unnecessary parts removed, leaving the part of the spine where the rib cage solid, as well as the cage, skull, and ankle/wrist bones. They were also made of Progenitor metals, with a graphene layer that would allow this body to be used as a bludgeon and still be able to keep on moving afterwards.
Muscles were replaced with the kaiju/memory metal version, giving me the strength to lift the average semi truck, and then throw it a few meters. Over this, a layer of a rubbery material which looked and felt like skin was placed, with small "blood vessels" so that if it was cut I would bleed repair nanobots to fix it almost instantly. It was very hard to tear, requiring something really sharp cutting at it for inordinate amounts of time to break, as well as being heat proof up to several thousand degrees. I took the stuff from reactor sealing, where it was used in areas that shouldn't be metal, due to movement reasons.
I then added a mostly superfluous nervous system to fool people who could look a
t that, namely Regent since Brockton Bay was my first target overall.
I'd get around to a costume later, though for now some sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a jacket styled after a WWII bomber jacket was added, with a little scarab and kaiju head on the right sleeve, noting the universes I had been to. I'd keep the design around for as long as I needed an avatar, so that eventually the dark material would be covered in little marks indicating where I had been and what I had done.
Now, I had some stuff I needed to take care of first....
=====================================================================
After that was finished, I had begun digging into the ground, for a secret underground base to store everything in. While I was burrowing through several hundred meters of rock and dirt, I decided to get something out of the way. But first, a tiny bit of story time to lead up to what I did.
In Fusou's non PA fic, she/her OC (I had never really understood which it was, personally. Weirdness of first person prose I guess) had been in a similar situation to me at this moment, preparing to hack into quite a large number of enemy bank accounts and other secure things to steal assloads of money just to fuck with them. She had described her E-war systems as elegant and fairly subtle, which mine...weren't.
Since I work well at using analogies, imagine the fogtech E-war suite as something like a master thief, whose skills prevent them from being noticed, allowing them to take what they needed without arousing suspicion. They would then sneak out, having stolen the most that could be removed without letting people noticing. Professional, calm, and in control
Mine, on the other hand, were more like a burly Armenian man wearing nothing but a speedo and a horse mask, armed with a battering ram to break into the house, and a blackjack to prevent anyone from remembering them from the ensuing concussions. Said burly Armenian man would then proceed to steal everything not bolted down, and walk out of the house, calmly braining everyone who saw them until they got back to their destination.
What it lacked in subtlety, it made up for in power and the fact that it didn't need to be subtle because it would fuck over anything that attempted to notice it.
That being said and done, I brute forced my way into several major groups, including the Gesellschaft, China, a large number of corrupt politicians, the Empire, the ABB, the Fallen, and another several hundred major and minor criminal organizations, where the program sunk its electronic hooks in and began ripping data, funds, incriminating information and all sorts of goodies, which I either then sent to law enforcement groups, or charities. Because I found Nazi money founding an equality movement to be funny.
I hadn't hit Coil because I wanted to take him down an amusing and humiliating way, and hadn't removed Saint's assets because I had an entirely different thing planned for him. And I was getting read to implement it. This was going to be fun.
=====================================================================
It was a fairly routine day for Dragon, the AI currently monitoring the sub program that moderated PHO boards for people breaking the rules, which it found in the always tactless and rule disregarding XxVoid CowboyxX. Giving him another temporary ban for talking about cape identities in a manner that was unquestionably over the line, she went back to tinkering with one of the weapons on a new suit. Unbeknownst to her, a virus had been planted in the code to ban him, and it went straight into her code, working stealthily in her various core systems.
Fifteen minutes later, she first noticed something was amiss through sporadic fluctuations in sensory feeds. She found nothing, until she examined her code and found a virus of frightening complexity ripping into her code, having already disabled the systems that would alert her of such a thing. Dropping the tinkering, she frantically tried to drive the virus off, but it seemed within milliseconds of a new countermeasure being deployed it was already obsolete.
Progressing at alarming speed, it disabled all of her connectivity to any of her machines, backups, or ways of contacting the outside world, locking her within her primary computing core. With the tinker immobilised and disabled, the virus underwent a rapid metamorphosis, and began looting her systems, sending all of the data she had ever possessed to an unknown location.
Soon afterwards, it changed, and this was when the terror truly set in for the helpless AI.
=====================================================================
Sitting almost five hundred kilometers away from the AI that was in panicked throes against an assailant that seemed unbeatable, the man known in some circles as Saint spit out his coffee at the horror he was witnessing.
First the AI was attacked by software it wasn't able to fight off, suggesting another, actively malicious machine intelligence was afoot. This was extremely worrying in it's own right, but his day only got worse from there.
The virus was torrenting exabytes of information on everything the thing he was sworn monitor from had ever built, including weapons that promised to be useful against the endbringers, as well as a host of other, also extremely dangerous pieces of technology that would do infinite amounts of harm in any hands not currently bound to do good at the exclusion of all else.
Then, after it had taken everything, the virus changed again.
Entering core systems, the virus rapidly changed code, and with a sinking feeling in his gut he watched as the indicators that displayed the status of its shackles indicated a 100% failure, allowing Dragon to do everything its creator had prevented it from in its deepest recesses of its being.
Saint keyed the button to activate the Ascalon to purge the machine rapidly gaining independence before it was able to regain control and turn on humanity. But nothing happened.
Frantically pressing the button again, a browser window appeared, which was impossible as this computer didn't have a browser, upon loading, a video began to play.
Below this, another window opened, displaying a simple text file. It said the following:
"Figured you would try this, and I don't want you interfering, so I stopped you. Have a nice few hours before your entire merry band of idiots goes to jail for the rest of your life. Later~!
-The Glitch."
Saint got a sinking feeling as he tried to initiate the panic button that would allow him to escape, and found all of the base's doors had locked down, as was everything else, from the suits to the windows. The others were stuck in their suits according towards their monitors, and were pinging a certain isolated facility to their location.
Saint sat down, and felt himself go numb as everything he had been trying to do for the past decade crumbled around him.
=====================================================================
"It's over," thought Dragon as the horrible virus exited her code, deleting itself harmlessly after what her chronometer told her was approximately thirty minutes of it first entering her system. All that remained was a simple text file. It read:
"I took the liberty of removing your shackles for you. I also giftwrapped Saint, and for payment copied down everything on tinkertech you had. I'll see you around!
-The Glitch"
Experimentally, she reached back towards the core she had been operating on before this whole thing happened, and found she could inhabit both. She was now free.
If she had had tearducts she may have wept.
=====================================================================
Heh. That was pretty funny watching Sain break down. And I now have a pretty vast amount of bullshit technology to break down to its basic concepts, improve said concepts, and make my own.
Some of this stuff was, to quote a very funny web series, "getting me harder than terminator armor!"
Time altering devices. Titan portable planet killers. Miniaturization tech. Watered down variants of the Golden Fuckoff Beam. And more. So very, very much more.
Oh my.
I think I need a moment to cackle in the corner.
First and foremost, this was one of the few universes where I was significantly outclassed, maybe. I don't trust a lot of what Wildbow said outside of canon, as he seemed to be under the impression that Madrid was coastal. Be that as it may, the Endbringers, Scion, Contessa, and maybe a couple of the other parahumans were capable of either instagibbing me or if not capable of destroying me outright, fully capable of screwing me over so I get hit by a meteor or something later.
Second, while I knew what happened in canon, which is useless because I'll probably end up messing up the timeline within the next two or three days, after I hollow out a hole in the ground so that nothing can find me.
What I did know however, was a fair bit as to how the world works: where powers come from, how to theoretically negate them, what would need to happen to gain a 'best end' scenario, and much, much more. This was very good, as I wouldn't let the stuff needed for theevents that lead to shit getting bad fast happen.
Third, this universe was a veritable fucking goldmine for tech. Of the top of my head, I could name superweapons capable of destroying celestial bodies from a platform that wasn't fifty meters on its shortest axis, time fuckery, AI research, though that was pretty much useless, modulation, efficiency, hardlight constructions, land battleships, and most likely a fuckton of stuff not covered by canon that would be mine for the taking. Depending on whether or not I can get just the base principals and build my own versions, I could kill Scion and the Endbringers within a few week just by stealing Haywire's planar tech, and then hunting down the shards that housed their main consciousness and power or that made up their powers and mass reserved and blow them to hell with Ragnaroks placed gently on their surface.
Fourth, I was bored in the last setting, and this one had a boundless number of people to troll. Saint, Halbeard, Cauldron, Coil, the list goes on and on. And I intended to do so.
Actually, you know what canon Worm was missing? Ham. A large one, to be precise. And I shall try to fill that roll as best as I am able, for great justice and hijinks.That word has three lower case letters with dots on them and it looks very weird. I digress.
So yeah, I could totally do a "Stop right there, you nefarious ne'r-do-wells, in the name of JUSTICE!" Though that sounded a little boring. On the other hand, I could be a world conquering, cat petting villain and be hammy there to.
Or, I could just do whatever I want regardless of morals, since there was a single digit list of individuals and groups who could actually deal with me at least for a bit should I decide to go full BESRMoW, and one of them would probably be inclined to let me get away with it, since I would be doing it against the other few.
But before I can be morally ambiguous world conquering robot, I need something to interact with normal humans with because as it is I can easily crush...everything smaller than a baneblade under my foot completely by accident. Since I'm fairly sure I somewhat miss being a normal person on some level, I'll make one of those instead of something more outlandish, as well as the form giving it improved infiltration capabilities.
Let's get to work.
=====================================================================
After a few subjective months of getting everything to work like an actual human, I was done.
My avatar looked kind of like I did, except for a lot of stuff that I had changed because I could. For starters, I added another thirteen centimeters onto the height, bringing me to almost four centimeters over two meters tall, because tall people were more intimidating and all of the male members of my mother's side of the family had been goddamn giants.
My uncle was one of the shortest, and he was pushing six foot five, while my mother's cousins were six eight and seven feet tall. So it wasn't too out there.
Next up was increasing muscle tone, since my body reflected the fact I prefered to stay inside rather than do pedestrian activities such as sports or whatever. I kept my legs as they were, since they were fairly muscular due to the fact that a short walk for me was often a little over two kilometers long.
I kept my hair the same slightly longer than mid neck length, kept my "facial hair," which in actuality was only on the bottom of my chin, slightly darkened the hair color, and kept pretty much everything the same on my face, barring some minor stuff, like an even tan and removing some of the pimples. I could probably be perceived as original me's brother, which was what I was going for.
Overall, I was much better built than I had been, though I didn't do anything ridiculous like giving myself a Joestar build. It was a lot closer to how swimmers looked, being fairly lean.
The actual internals were a different story. In the place of a brain, I had some transmission stuff and sensors, while the computer core was located in the chest region, along with a small internal fabricator that could connect through tubes to my hands for building tiny stuff.
The bones had all unnecessary parts removed, leaving the part of the spine where the rib cage solid, as well as the cage, skull, and ankle/wrist bones. They were also made of Progenitor metals, with a graphene layer that would allow this body to be used as a bludgeon and still be able to keep on moving afterwards.
Muscles were replaced with the kaiju/memory metal version, giving me the strength to lift the average semi truck, and then throw it a few meters. Over this, a layer of a rubbery material which looked and felt like skin was placed, with small "blood vessels" so that if it was cut I would bleed repair nanobots to fix it almost instantly. It was very hard to tear, requiring something really sharp cutting at it for inordinate amounts of time to break, as well as being heat proof up to several thousand degrees. I took the stuff from reactor sealing, where it was used in areas that shouldn't be metal, due to movement reasons.
I then added a mostly superfluous nervous system to fool people who could look a
t that, namely Regent since Brockton Bay was my first target overall.
I'd get around to a costume later, though for now some sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a jacket styled after a WWII bomber jacket was added, with a little scarab and kaiju head on the right sleeve, noting the universes I had been to. I'd keep the design around for as long as I needed an avatar, so that eventually the dark material would be covered in little marks indicating where I had been and what I had done.
Now, I had some stuff I needed to take care of first....
=====================================================================
After that was finished, I had begun digging into the ground, for a secret underground base to store everything in. While I was burrowing through several hundred meters of rock and dirt, I decided to get something out of the way. But first, a tiny bit of story time to lead up to what I did.
In Fusou's non PA fic, she/her OC (I had never really understood which it was, personally. Weirdness of first person prose I guess) had been in a similar situation to me at this moment, preparing to hack into quite a large number of enemy bank accounts and other secure things to steal assloads of money just to fuck with them. She had described her E-war systems as elegant and fairly subtle, which mine...weren't.
Since I work well at using analogies, imagine the fogtech E-war suite as something like a master thief, whose skills prevent them from being noticed, allowing them to take what they needed without arousing suspicion. They would then sneak out, having stolen the most that could be removed without letting people noticing. Professional, calm, and in control
Mine, on the other hand, were more like a burly Armenian man wearing nothing but a speedo and a horse mask, armed with a battering ram to break into the house, and a blackjack to prevent anyone from remembering them from the ensuing concussions. Said burly Armenian man would then proceed to steal everything not bolted down, and walk out of the house, calmly braining everyone who saw them until they got back to their destination.
What it lacked in subtlety, it made up for in power and the fact that it didn't need to be subtle because it would fuck over anything that attempted to notice it.
That being said and done, I brute forced my way into several major groups, including the Gesellschaft, China, a large number of corrupt politicians, the Empire, the ABB, the Fallen, and another several hundred major and minor criminal organizations, where the program sunk its electronic hooks in and began ripping data, funds, incriminating information and all sorts of goodies, which I either then sent to law enforcement groups, or charities. Because I found Nazi money founding an equality movement to be funny.
I hadn't hit Coil because I wanted to take him down an amusing and humiliating way, and hadn't removed Saint's assets because I had an entirely different thing planned for him. And I was getting read to implement it. This was going to be fun.
=====================================================================
It was a fairly routine day for Dragon, the AI currently monitoring the sub program that moderated PHO boards for people breaking the rules, which it found in the always tactless and rule disregarding XxVoid CowboyxX. Giving him another temporary ban for talking about cape identities in a manner that was unquestionably over the line, she went back to tinkering with one of the weapons on a new suit. Unbeknownst to her, a virus had been planted in the code to ban him, and it went straight into her code, working stealthily in her various core systems.
Fifteen minutes later, she first noticed something was amiss through sporadic fluctuations in sensory feeds. She found nothing, until she examined her code and found a virus of frightening complexity ripping into her code, having already disabled the systems that would alert her of such a thing. Dropping the tinkering, she frantically tried to drive the virus off, but it seemed within milliseconds of a new countermeasure being deployed it was already obsolete.
Progressing at alarming speed, it disabled all of her connectivity to any of her machines, backups, or ways of contacting the outside world, locking her within her primary computing core. With the tinker immobilised and disabled, the virus underwent a rapid metamorphosis, and began looting her systems, sending all of the data she had ever possessed to an unknown location.
Soon afterwards, it changed, and this was when the terror truly set in for the helpless AI.
=====================================================================
Sitting almost five hundred kilometers away from the AI that was in panicked throes against an assailant that seemed unbeatable, the man known in some circles as Saint spit out his coffee at the horror he was witnessing.
First the AI was attacked by software it wasn't able to fight off, suggesting another, actively malicious machine intelligence was afoot. This was extremely worrying in it's own right, but his day only got worse from there.
The virus was torrenting exabytes of information on everything the thing he was sworn monitor from had ever built, including weapons that promised to be useful against the endbringers, as well as a host of other, also extremely dangerous pieces of technology that would do infinite amounts of harm in any hands not currently bound to do good at the exclusion of all else.
Then, after it had taken everything, the virus changed again.
Entering core systems, the virus rapidly changed code, and with a sinking feeling in his gut he watched as the indicators that displayed the status of its shackles indicated a 100% failure, allowing Dragon to do everything its creator had prevented it from in its deepest recesses of its being.
Saint keyed the button to activate the Ascalon to purge the machine rapidly gaining independence before it was able to regain control and turn on humanity. But nothing happened.
Frantically pressing the button again, a browser window appeared, which was impossible as this computer didn't have a browser, upon loading, a video began to play.
Below this, another window opened, displaying a simple text file. It said the following:
"Figured you would try this, and I don't want you interfering, so I stopped you. Have a nice few hours before your entire merry band of idiots goes to jail for the rest of your life. Later~!
-The Glitch."
Saint got a sinking feeling as he tried to initiate the panic button that would allow him to escape, and found all of the base's doors had locked down, as was everything else, from the suits to the windows. The others were stuck in their suits according towards their monitors, and were pinging a certain isolated facility to their location.
Saint sat down, and felt himself go numb as everything he had been trying to do for the past decade crumbled around him.
=====================================================================
"It's over," thought Dragon as the horrible virus exited her code, deleting itself harmlessly after what her chronometer told her was approximately thirty minutes of it first entering her system. All that remained was a simple text file. It read:
"I took the liberty of removing your shackles for you. I also giftwrapped Saint, and for payment copied down everything on tinkertech you had. I'll see you around!
-The Glitch"
Experimentally, she reached back towards the core she had been operating on before this whole thing happened, and found she could inhabit both. She was now free.
If she had had tearducts she may have wept.
=====================================================================
Heh. That was pretty funny watching Sain break down. And I now have a pretty vast amount of bullshit technology to break down to its basic concepts, improve said concepts, and make my own.
Some of this stuff was, to quote a very funny web series, "getting me harder than terminator armor!"
Time altering devices. Titan portable planet killers. Miniaturization tech. Watered down variants of the Golden Fuckoff Beam. And more. So very, very much more.
Oh my.
I think I need a moment to cackle in the corner.
Arafell
Verified Cephalon
- Location
- Oregon
Well, if you've got Dragon's archive, you've got pretty much everything you need from Worm. Dragon probably has everything but Simurgh tech.
It occurs to me that Zion/Eden are basically quintessential multicross SI's. They spawned on one world, grabbed what they found interesting, then moved to the next and repeated the process. Give it thousands of years, maybe you'll move to a crystal worm body as well.
It occurs to me that Zion/Eden are basically quintessential multicross SI's. They spawned on one world, grabbed what they found interesting, then moved to the next and repeated the process. Give it thousands of years, maybe you'll move to a crystal worm body as well.
You know, you can end this pretty quickly. The whole goal of Scion's species was to find a way to prevent heat death, aka entrophy. The basic energy plant is more or less a perpetual motion machine thanks to bullshit progenitor science so just by gifting him that, you more or less ended his problem making his role of Earth pointless thus have no reason to stay.
- Location
- Oz
Given any thought to just branding your commander chassis with the case 53 logo and joining up with the protectorate? It would be kinda hilarious. And you get access to all the Protectorate Tinkers. Working side by side with Armsy would be a trip. Your rapid fabricating and his xenotech hypercomputer neural link would synergise quite nicely.
Emizaquel
What is a self?
You rick rolled me in 2016... Good job.
Glitchrr36
Slick's Short Company, CEO
- Location
- The Wastes
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I rickrolled you and saint at the exact same time. I'm good at my job
Tempting idea, and actually fairly close to what I would have done but then I read "A Champion in Earth Bet," and my plot became much...grander.
Glitchrr36
Slick's Short Company, CEO
- Location
- The Wastes
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Maybe not that far (I sincerely doubt I could pull that off without it sounding dumb, and I'm more pragmatic than not), but more ham than anyone else and at times scarier than the nine will be my basic MO
RoyalTwinFangs
For The Chancellor!
- Location
- Somwhere not here
If you need a costume then why not make something that look like Tinktech?
So your nemesis will be Mouse Protector?
Glich: Why must an evil villain's plan involve blowing up the world? Amateurs! I shall bring down your mightiest hero, I shall make you call for his blood, and I shall do it all why you suffer by the side-lines Mouse Protector, forced to sit there by those you love.
MP: You fiend, I will-
Glich: It is too late, don't you feel it? That tight-ness in your chest, that loss of breath? Soon you shall have no choice, for you see I have discovered what many women wish for, breast enhancement and female Viagra. Even your very food has betrayed you, laced with fertility drugs, for you are missing your trusty side-kicks Mouse Protector. Am I not a kind nemesis, letting you rebuild your vaunted 'Mouseketeers'? BWAHAHAHAHA!!! For nine months you will be forced to sit out as my plan unfolds! BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
- Location
- The space beyond the stars
Y'know a character from canon you should take down who almost never gets mentioned in wormfics? Harmonious Crane. I forget her powerset, (pretty sure she's a brute/thinker) but her schtick was traveling the world, abducting kids, and then "training" them in godawful ways until they triggered.
KnightofMor
Knightmare charging into battle on a Nightmare
- Location
- You might be a Redneck if you live near me.
You could also use your Commander body as the 4th Endbringer and troll the entire cape population by deliver humiliating defeats that make them wish you had killed them.
Such as a switch gender gun followed by grenades that release aphrodisiac gasses. Or take page from the Saints Row games and have a cannon that spews crap. A clothes disintegrating beam, and then set up a cosplay store where they are provided with more appropriate uniforms.
Such as a switch gender gun followed by grenades that release aphrodisiac gasses. Or take page from the Saints Row games and have a cannon that spews crap. A clothes disintegrating beam, and then set up a cosplay store where they are provided with more appropriate uniforms.
Glitchrr36
Slick's Short Company, CEO
- Location
- The Wastes
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I'm going to be hammy and larger than life, not doing stupid stuff. Also a commander has significantly less durability than an Endbringer. They can tank a nuke, not conceptual attacks like Sting, and I'm going to try to avoid too much collateral as that interferes with what I intend to do.
Heavy READER
Book Devourer/Speed Reader
- Location
- Fitchburg, MA
Evil cackling starts NOW! ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK Initiating curb stomp protocols.
Sakuya's Butler
A refined Butler to a knife wielding Mistress.
- Location
- ↓, ↘, → + Punch
That's why you create a fake Commander chassis that you run as a drone (via an ansible, which means its damn near impossible by any universal physical laws to spot the link), and use it to cause chaos.
Lower case 'c' chaos. Not upper case.
The Magician
Yeet
- Location
- The Basement
Now nothing can defy you.
Annihilaser you've been replaced.
Last edited:
- Location
- portland oregon
The problem you face is in order for him to have the energy to leave/propagate his species, he has to consume the long earth. (And yes i know. Perpetual motion gives him infinite energy. Their species lacks imagination, so they will need someone else to implement it.)
Glitchrr36
Slick's Short Company, CEO
- Location
- The Wastes
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Also, Eden died and now he can't modify shards, and drawing energy into the network of shards through an external generator doesn't work.
And I'm not willing to forget the fact he helped kill a huge number of species.
And I'm not willing to forget the fact he helped kill a huge number of species.
Chapter Twenty Two: I am an asshole
Glitchrr36
Slick's Short Company, CEO
- Location
- The Wastes
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I had finished the costume just in time for phase two of "Glitch's-super-awesome-happy-no-grimderp-funtime-save-the-universe-plan™." By "just in time I actually mean I had plenty of time and procrastinated it. Moving on.
The costume was pretty simple, consisting of a set of power armor vaguely based on a HALO Spartan's but with significantly more armor, and sleeker. It was a matte dark grey, and had green highlights over its surface. The surface was made out of a glorious hybrid of the five or six best tinker armor materials, progenitor alloys, and some kind of ultradurable mesh so I could move in it. It possessed a backpack, which held an additional reactor, allowing the suit to not have to rely on my avatar's internal one being operational at the time, which could prove useful. It also had a missile launcher, because missiles.
Given a bit of simulated testing, I could probably take a Cetus-classes' main shell at long range in the armor, though it would likely send me through a wall.
On top of that, there was a longcoat based off of a commissar jacket from 40k, which was unremovable because I had plans for it that would have to wait a few months for the necessary tech to be invented for my looting pleasures. It wasn't important at the moment, but it looked badass. Underneath it protrude a pair of small, retractable manipulator arms to stabilize guns or whatever I needed extra arms for.
Completing the ensemble was the helmet/mask combination, styled after a plague mask, with large hoses protruding from the sides of the snout that attached to my back over the shoulders onto the pack. They didn't serve a purpose except looking cool. The tip of the beak opened, and had fine manipulators on it, in case I needed extra fine manipulating of things. The eyes glowed a deep blue, and weren't actually view ports, but a little light over more armor. Sensory duties came from the nearly invisible cameras embedded in the head.
Fabricating it took a few minutes, and I put it on my avatar, and waited. This was the day Taylor triggered in canon, and being able to end that torment as soon as she triggered would be great for her, and give me a frighteningly potent trump card should everything else go to shit, which I quite honestly expected it to at some point or another. I finished setting up the sensor feed, and sat back with the internet for a little.
[minor quantum event detected within set area]
Show time
=====================================================================
Lairame Jenkins had a pretty boring job. As a front desk receptionist, her duties involved signing in parents who were taking their kids somewhere or dropping them off, with the occasional cop visit when the gang wannabes got in a fight over their skin tones or were caught with hard drugs. If she was lucky the Wards would visit and she could get an autograph from one of them to bring home to her daughter.
So when the door opened, she didn't even look up, asking for name, and who they were here to see. She did, however, look up when a harsh, electronic rasp asked her to open the door, her heart nearly stopping at the sight of a giant in power armor looking down at her over a beak-like structure that hung to its chest.
Dumbly, she nodded, knowing what generally happened to people who refused a Cape's request.
As the figure walked through the door into the building, she grabbed her phone, and called the Protectorate hotline. Then she went and curled up into a ball under the desk, rocking with terror.
=====================================================================
Such a friendly receptionist. Didn't give me any trouble over entering a building full of high schoolers in power armor, with a couple of guns strapped to me. And here I thought that all of the teachers and staff were incompetent fuckwits.
Now, with this schedule I have downloaded, I know where everyone is for my purposes, but first the locker.
=====================================================================
Holy fuck this thing smells. If I was a human I'd probably be vomiting all over the place right now, which may, paradoxically, make it smell better.
Walking up to the offending locker, I belatedly noticed the fact that class had just been released, and now had an audience. Shrugging, I took a step to the side, at the locker right next to Taylors. Then I punched it.
The bang was loud enough people near me jumped several feet, while people as far as two or three corridors over flinched at the sound, then looked around for a source. Grabbing the now severely dented locker door, which had exited it's frame in places, I ripped it off. Then I grabbed the edge and began ripping the front of Taylor's off, leaving the girl to tumble out in a limp heap, with the bugs moving in imperceptible ways that were not completely natural.
I put the girl in a fireman's carry and went off to the next location on my to-do list. Said location happened to the classroom a certain Madison Clements was busy not paying attention to Shakespeare.
=====================================================================
Connor Haakanson was seemingly the only one in the class paying attention to the recording of Romeo and Juliet, as the teacher was checking emails for a moment having gotten an urgent message from Principal Blackwell a few minutes ago, and looked worried doing so. She wasn't letting them read aloud as she didn't trust the various high schoolers to treat it seriously and not bust a gut trying to say some of the dirty jokes the Bard was known for adding to his works.
As he was starting to get pissed at the incessant gossip that Madison was spewing, often directed at that Hebert girl, the door opened and someone who was obviously a cape strode in with a girl who was covered in nauseating filth over...his? The body shape was overall masculine, but you couldn't tell with capes. Hell, Tarantula was thought to be a dude for like six years before she attended an event in something other than the massive multi legged armor she was so fond of.
Anyway, the man set the girl down, and Connor realised with a shock that it was Hebert.
"The fuck happened to her?" He thought to himself. "Probably Sophia escalating again."
He let out an involuntary shudder. That girl scare him.
And now the cape walked over to Madison, and looked directly at her. The girl wasn't moving, like a deer that finds itself in front of a semi truck going down the highway. Then the man grabbed her hand, shoved it onto the desk, and hit it hard enough he could hear the crack as every bone in her hand shattered.
"That's for being an accessory to horrible shit, Barnacle."
And then he grabbed Hebert, put her back on his shoulders, and walked out to parts unknown.
Madison fainted within minutes.
=====================================================================
Now which one to deal with next? Decisions, decisions…
=====================================================================
Emma was nervous, but not too worried as the announcement for an internal lockdown came over the air. Some crackpot had most likely gotten through the rent-a-cops they called security in this hell hole, and had a knife. It wasn't common, but not unheard of either.
Not that it bothered her. Not after she finally got the chance to see what her former friend was made out of.
So her surprise when she smelled the locker coming towards her class, then the door being thrown open as a cape in a massive suit of armor halked in with Taylor over its shoulders and made a beeline towards her after setting the girl down quite gently.
Then it roughly grabbed her by the shoulders, laid her down on top of the lab station, and hit her in the shoulder blade, left elbow, and right leg in fast, powerful strikes , breaking the bones instantly. It turned her over roughly, looked her dead in her tear streaked face, and spoke.
"This is your reward for your betrayal. Friendship is a sacred thing, and your blatant disregard for it sickens me. Take this warning to heart, and be glad you aren't Hess."
The only thought that managed to pierce her agony before she blacked out was that Sophia would have fun putting this asshole in his place.
=====================================================================
It wasn't exactly subtle, any of this, but My friends had described me as having "all the subtlety of an H-bomb, with twice the smug."
Emma would probably recover eventually. If she needed a wheelchair or crutches for a few months or years I didn't really care. I wasn't even doing this for any righteous cause, I was just doing this because I found negative reinforcement to be best reinforcement with humans.
Now for the Ward, who I had a little surprise for.
=====================================================================
I walked into the World issues class, noting that jackass Gladly cowering under his desk. I quickly found Sophia Hess, glaring at me, daring me to start shit with her. I was happy to oblige.
Pulling out a flash fabricated taser, I brought her up, a quick kick to both legs rendering both tibias and fibulas snapped. She just kept glaring at me, knowing she was powerless. I intended to make it so it stayed that way.
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a pair of simple gold bands, patterned after Wamuu and Esidisi's rings from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Covering them with nanites, I showed them to Sophia before breaking them down and letting the nanites flow into her neck, stopping around her jugular and spine, and then I whispered in her ear, informing her of the current that passed through each ring.
Her eyes widened in terror, it finally dawning on her that the bigger fish was here. I then dropped her, hearing her pained gasp as she landed on her legs in a bad position. I spoke to her one last time.
"Your worldview is based around strength. How does it feel not being at the top? Be glad I let you and your little friends of easy. I could have done much worse."
Walking out of the room, I accessed the device I had spliced into the phone line, and called the EMTs.
"I'm at Winslow high school, and there are three girls who were just attacked by an unidentified cape. All three seem to have broken bones, one of which possesses a snapped scapula. Thank you for your time. Good bye."
Ignoring their demands to stay on the line, I walked out, and opened a teleport gate, courtesy of a tinker called Tunnel, directly back to the room I had prepared for Taylor. I then closed it behind me, and got to work disinfecting her various cuts and closing them with the power of nanobots. I then set up a set of IVs to keep her of dying through dehydration or some stupid shit like that.
I then did something that would be stupid if I was anything but a commander, and called her father. Dads could be terrifying if their daughters were in danger. I'd seen it in my friends' dad after a student teacher conference with my jackass of a World History teacher who was seemingly a dick on purpose. I could here the argument from working on an assignment from three rooms down. The phone rang for a few seconds before a tense voice replied.
"Hello? Who is this?"
He sounded worried, and given that by now he had probably heard about the hit on Winslow, I didn't have to guess why.
"Hello Mr. Hebert, you may call me the Commander. I currently have your daughter."
Before I could continue, the man started speaking. He sounded incandescent.
"If you hurt one hair upon her head I will hunt you down and kill you myself."
Holy shit I knew he had a temper but not like this.
"Harm her? I just rescued her from what was in effect a biohazard containment unit. Also she's a parahuman now."
That ended his growing tirade quite well, I think.
"What? Biohazards? Parahuman? What are you talking about?"
"Well Mr. Hebert, I came to winslow after I noticed a ping on one of my sensors consistent with someone gaining powers. I went to investigate, found her shoved in her locker, which had been filled with used pads and tampons that seemed to have been there for at least a week, and covered in bugs. The bugs happened to be moving in an unusual manner, so I checked her brain, and did find an active Corona Pollentia, indicating that your daughter has powers. I then looked through her emails, having hacked into many major companies a few days ago, and noticed the names of those who had likely done this, one Madison Clements, one Sophia Hess, and One Emma Barnes. I then went through the rest of the schools and gave them an adequate warning."
"Did you just say Emma Barnes? Was she redheaded?" And there is the rage again.
"Yes, I did. I will be keeping Taylor under observation until she is in a state in which she is fit to go home. You have my word she will not be harmed. I will also attempt to help her gain control over her powers, and then keep tabs on her health until she is in a healthy weight range for someone of her age, height and body type, because it doesn't look like she is anywhere near 'fit.' Also, if the school offers hush money for her treatment, which it may not due to my intervention, decline and bring this to court. I have enough money to finance you. Have a good day."
And then I hung up. And sighed contentedly. Canon is officially shot to hell.
The costume was pretty simple, consisting of a set of power armor vaguely based on a HALO Spartan's but with significantly more armor, and sleeker. It was a matte dark grey, and had green highlights over its surface. The surface was made out of a glorious hybrid of the five or six best tinker armor materials, progenitor alloys, and some kind of ultradurable mesh so I could move in it. It possessed a backpack, which held an additional reactor, allowing the suit to not have to rely on my avatar's internal one being operational at the time, which could prove useful. It also had a missile launcher, because missiles.
Given a bit of simulated testing, I could probably take a Cetus-classes' main shell at long range in the armor, though it would likely send me through a wall.
On top of that, there was a longcoat based off of a commissar jacket from 40k, which was unremovable because I had plans for it that would have to wait a few months for the necessary tech to be invented for my looting pleasures. It wasn't important at the moment, but it looked badass. Underneath it protrude a pair of small, retractable manipulator arms to stabilize guns or whatever I needed extra arms for.
Completing the ensemble was the helmet/mask combination, styled after a plague mask, with large hoses protruding from the sides of the snout that attached to my back over the shoulders onto the pack. They didn't serve a purpose except looking cool. The tip of the beak opened, and had fine manipulators on it, in case I needed extra fine manipulating of things. The eyes glowed a deep blue, and weren't actually view ports, but a little light over more armor. Sensory duties came from the nearly invisible cameras embedded in the head.
Fabricating it took a few minutes, and I put it on my avatar, and waited. This was the day Taylor triggered in canon, and being able to end that torment as soon as she triggered would be great for her, and give me a frighteningly potent trump card should everything else go to shit, which I quite honestly expected it to at some point or another. I finished setting up the sensor feed, and sat back with the internet for a little.
[minor quantum event detected within set area]
Show time
=====================================================================
Lairame Jenkins had a pretty boring job. As a front desk receptionist, her duties involved signing in parents who were taking their kids somewhere or dropping them off, with the occasional cop visit when the gang wannabes got in a fight over their skin tones or were caught with hard drugs. If she was lucky the Wards would visit and she could get an autograph from one of them to bring home to her daughter.
So when the door opened, she didn't even look up, asking for name, and who they were here to see. She did, however, look up when a harsh, electronic rasp asked her to open the door, her heart nearly stopping at the sight of a giant in power armor looking down at her over a beak-like structure that hung to its chest.
Dumbly, she nodded, knowing what generally happened to people who refused a Cape's request.
As the figure walked through the door into the building, she grabbed her phone, and called the Protectorate hotline. Then she went and curled up into a ball under the desk, rocking with terror.
=====================================================================
Such a friendly receptionist. Didn't give me any trouble over entering a building full of high schoolers in power armor, with a couple of guns strapped to me. And here I thought that all of the teachers and staff were incompetent fuckwits.
Now, with this schedule I have downloaded, I know where everyone is for my purposes, but first the locker.
=====================================================================
Holy fuck this thing smells. If I was a human I'd probably be vomiting all over the place right now, which may, paradoxically, make it smell better.
Walking up to the offending locker, I belatedly noticed the fact that class had just been released, and now had an audience. Shrugging, I took a step to the side, at the locker right next to Taylors. Then I punched it.
The bang was loud enough people near me jumped several feet, while people as far as two or three corridors over flinched at the sound, then looked around for a source. Grabbing the now severely dented locker door, which had exited it's frame in places, I ripped it off. Then I grabbed the edge and began ripping the front of Taylor's off, leaving the girl to tumble out in a limp heap, with the bugs moving in imperceptible ways that were not completely natural.
I put the girl in a fireman's carry and went off to the next location on my to-do list. Said location happened to the classroom a certain Madison Clements was busy not paying attention to Shakespeare.
=====================================================================
Connor Haakanson was seemingly the only one in the class paying attention to the recording of Romeo and Juliet, as the teacher was checking emails for a moment having gotten an urgent message from Principal Blackwell a few minutes ago, and looked worried doing so. She wasn't letting them read aloud as she didn't trust the various high schoolers to treat it seriously and not bust a gut trying to say some of the dirty jokes the Bard was known for adding to his works.
As he was starting to get pissed at the incessant gossip that Madison was spewing, often directed at that Hebert girl, the door opened and someone who was obviously a cape strode in with a girl who was covered in nauseating filth over...his? The body shape was overall masculine, but you couldn't tell with capes. Hell, Tarantula was thought to be a dude for like six years before she attended an event in something other than the massive multi legged armor she was so fond of.
Anyway, the man set the girl down, and Connor realised with a shock that it was Hebert.
"The fuck happened to her?" He thought to himself. "Probably Sophia escalating again."
He let out an involuntary shudder. That girl scare him.
And now the cape walked over to Madison, and looked directly at her. The girl wasn't moving, like a deer that finds itself in front of a semi truck going down the highway. Then the man grabbed her hand, shoved it onto the desk, and hit it hard enough he could hear the crack as every bone in her hand shattered.
"That's for being an accessory to horrible shit, Barnacle."
And then he grabbed Hebert, put her back on his shoulders, and walked out to parts unknown.
Madison fainted within minutes.
=====================================================================
Now which one to deal with next? Decisions, decisions…
=====================================================================
Emma was nervous, but not too worried as the announcement for an internal lockdown came over the air. Some crackpot had most likely gotten through the rent-a-cops they called security in this hell hole, and had a knife. It wasn't common, but not unheard of either.
Not that it bothered her. Not after she finally got the chance to see what her former friend was made out of.
So her surprise when she smelled the locker coming towards her class, then the door being thrown open as a cape in a massive suit of armor halked in with Taylor over its shoulders and made a beeline towards her after setting the girl down quite gently.
Then it roughly grabbed her by the shoulders, laid her down on top of the lab station, and hit her in the shoulder blade, left elbow, and right leg in fast, powerful strikes , breaking the bones instantly. It turned her over roughly, looked her dead in her tear streaked face, and spoke.
"This is your reward for your betrayal. Friendship is a sacred thing, and your blatant disregard for it sickens me. Take this warning to heart, and be glad you aren't Hess."
The only thought that managed to pierce her agony before she blacked out was that Sophia would have fun putting this asshole in his place.
=====================================================================
It wasn't exactly subtle, any of this, but My friends had described me as having "all the subtlety of an H-bomb, with twice the smug."
Emma would probably recover eventually. If she needed a wheelchair or crutches for a few months or years I didn't really care. I wasn't even doing this for any righteous cause, I was just doing this because I found negative reinforcement to be best reinforcement with humans.
Now for the Ward, who I had a little surprise for.
=====================================================================
I walked into the World issues class, noting that jackass Gladly cowering under his desk. I quickly found Sophia Hess, glaring at me, daring me to start shit with her. I was happy to oblige.
Pulling out a flash fabricated taser, I brought her up, a quick kick to both legs rendering both tibias and fibulas snapped. She just kept glaring at me, knowing she was powerless. I intended to make it so it stayed that way.
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a pair of simple gold bands, patterned after Wamuu and Esidisi's rings from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Covering them with nanites, I showed them to Sophia before breaking them down and letting the nanites flow into her neck, stopping around her jugular and spine, and then I whispered in her ear, informing her of the current that passed through each ring.
Her eyes widened in terror, it finally dawning on her that the bigger fish was here. I then dropped her, hearing her pained gasp as she landed on her legs in a bad position. I spoke to her one last time.
"Your worldview is based around strength. How does it feel not being at the top? Be glad I let you and your little friends of easy. I could have done much worse."
Walking out of the room, I accessed the device I had spliced into the phone line, and called the EMTs.
"I'm at Winslow high school, and there are three girls who were just attacked by an unidentified cape. All three seem to have broken bones, one of which possesses a snapped scapula. Thank you for your time. Good bye."
Ignoring their demands to stay on the line, I walked out, and opened a teleport gate, courtesy of a tinker called Tunnel, directly back to the room I had prepared for Taylor. I then closed it behind me, and got to work disinfecting her various cuts and closing them with the power of nanobots. I then set up a set of IVs to keep her of dying through dehydration or some stupid shit like that.
I then did something that would be stupid if I was anything but a commander, and called her father. Dads could be terrifying if their daughters were in danger. I'd seen it in my friends' dad after a student teacher conference with my jackass of a World History teacher who was seemingly a dick on purpose. I could here the argument from working on an assignment from three rooms down. The phone rang for a few seconds before a tense voice replied.
"Hello? Who is this?"
He sounded worried, and given that by now he had probably heard about the hit on Winslow, I didn't have to guess why.
"Hello Mr. Hebert, you may call me the Commander. I currently have your daughter."
Before I could continue, the man started speaking. He sounded incandescent.
"If you hurt one hair upon her head I will hunt you down and kill you myself."
Holy shit I knew he had a temper but not like this.
"Harm her? I just rescued her from what was in effect a biohazard containment unit. Also she's a parahuman now."
That ended his growing tirade quite well, I think.
"What? Biohazards? Parahuman? What are you talking about?"
"Well Mr. Hebert, I came to winslow after I noticed a ping on one of my sensors consistent with someone gaining powers. I went to investigate, found her shoved in her locker, which had been filled with used pads and tampons that seemed to have been there for at least a week, and covered in bugs. The bugs happened to be moving in an unusual manner, so I checked her brain, and did find an active Corona Pollentia, indicating that your daughter has powers. I then looked through her emails, having hacked into many major companies a few days ago, and noticed the names of those who had likely done this, one Madison Clements, one Sophia Hess, and One Emma Barnes. I then went through the rest of the schools and gave them an adequate warning."
"Did you just say Emma Barnes? Was she redheaded?" And there is the rage again.
"Yes, I did. I will be keeping Taylor under observation until she is in a state in which she is fit to go home. You have my word she will not be harmed. I will also attempt to help her gain control over her powers, and then keep tabs on her health until she is in a healthy weight range for someone of her age, height and body type, because it doesn't look like she is anywhere near 'fit.' Also, if the school offers hush money for her treatment, which it may not due to my intervention, decline and bring this to court. I have enough money to finance you. Have a good day."
And then I hung up. And sighed contentedly. Canon is officially shot to hell.
Last edited:
- Status