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Confused Jackie Chan and Facepalming Picard Counter New
All Instances of Confused Jackie Chan & Facepalming Picard



Total Confused Jackie Chan Tally: VII

1D100 = 6+25+5+10-15 = 31 (The heck? :jackiechan: )
1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat!Fail! 7 (Why do I even bother... :jackiechan:)
1D3+3 = 3+3 => 6! ( :jackiechan: )
:jackiechan: Bro, at this point, the dice just have a mind of their own. And no one can convince me otherwise.
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = Nat! 97+20+10-10-15 => Nat!Crit! 87 ( :jackiechan: What is going on?!)
1D100 = Nat! 1+15+15-20 => Nat!Fail! 11 ( :jackiechan: THREE NAT ONES?!?!?!)

|==================================|

Total Facepalming Picard Tally: VII

1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat Crit! 7 ( :facepalm: ...of course.)
1D100 = Nat! 96+25+15+10+5 = Nat!Crit! 151 ( :facepalm: Oh, screw off.)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20-15-10 => Neg!Fail! -4 ( :facepalm: Of course...)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = 11+15+15-20 => 21 ( :facepalm: Can anything be normal in my quest?)
1D100 = 85+15+10-15 => Art!Crit! 95 ( :facepalm: I'm done... I've had enough of this.)



@Randomnerd, thank you for the idea.
 
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[Canon] Magoose: A Captain and a General New
A Captian and a General:

Arthur Smith stood beside General Washington a few minutes after Colonel Halbert had been dismissed, the two men casting long shadows in the dim light of the command tent. Arthur broke the silence first, arms crossed as he watched Halbert stride off into the night. "I like him," he said casually.

Washington kept his gaze fixed on the horizon, where the remnants of the evening fog clung to the masts of the ships in the harbor. "He certainly has the bravery for war, and even the mind for it," Washington admitted, his tone edged with frustration. "Now, if only he could temper that with some discipline."

Arthur followed Washington's gaze, his eyes settling on his own ship, the *Mars Hope*, bobbing gently in the harbor. "Twenty-five guns," he said, as if reading Washington's thoughts. "Not enough for grand naval battles, but more than enough for any kind of mischief you might want me to stir up."

Washington glanced at him, his face as unreadable as ever. "Your proposal," he began slowly, "is being taken under advisement, Captain Smith."

Arthur gave a tight-lipped smile. "I appreciate the consideration, General. But you should know something about captains: we don't take kindly to being told what to do by anyone but Congress, the Admiralty, or another captain. Anything else, I tend to take under advisement as well."

Washington's jaw clenched the flicker of irritation unmistakable. Arthur, sensing he may have pushed too far, softened his tone slightly. "What I mean to say is, General… you don't know naval matters, not like I do. You may be Commander-in-Chief, but you don't have the experience to conduct a naval war like the British do."

Washington's eyes narrowed as he met Arthur's gaze. "And you do?"

Arthur's smile widened, a touch of mischief in his expression. "Well, enough to keep us from destroying what few ships we have, that much I know. Right now, I'm one of the best chances you've got to turn this war into one where we control the movements, where we dictate the terms at sea and on land."

Washington's silence was pointed, and the tension between the two men thickened. The general finally exhaled, his words clipped. "I can find better men, Smith. Men with better ships, men who follow orders not a pirate like you."

"I'm no pirate, sir," Arthur shot back, his voice steady but sharp. "And you know that."

Washington stared at him, and for a brief moment, Arthur felt the weight of the man's authority pressing down on him. He'd spoken boldly, perhaps too boldly. But he also knew that Washington couldn't afford to dismiss him so easily. The general needed skilled captains, men who knew how to navigate the waters of war, both literal and political. And Arthur, as brash as he was, had proven himself capable.

"Dr. Franklin informed me of your… radical beliefs. Before I was given my position."

Ah, so that was it. Arthur knew this conversation would come eventually. He leaned back slightly, meeting Washington's gaze with a steady, unwavering calm. "Did Dr. Franklin also tell you why I was removed from the Royal Navy?"

"He did," Washington replied, his voice as level as ever.

"Then you know my position very well, sir," Arthur said, his tone unflinching, though respectful. The silence hung between them for a moment, charged with the weight of their shared understanding. Arthur's unconventional views were no secret—he'd made enough waves to ensure that.

Washington gave a slow nod, one that carried with it a rare acknowledgment, perhaps even respect. Arthur had been upfront, and Washington appreciated honesty, even when it came in forms he didn't entirely agree with. "I am at your service," Arthur added.

Washington clicked his false teeth and spoke in a voice quieter than before. "Good. Now, how do you plan to strike at British supply ships?"

Arthur allowed himself a brief smile, confident now that Washington was listening. "Simple," he began, the plan already formed in his mind. "We go a few days out into the open ocean. Intercept supply ships that have strayed too far from their escorts, ships vulnerable and alone. Once we capture them, we bring them to a safe harbor. Every bit we take—guns, provisions, even ships themselves—will help us build the navy we need to compete."

Washington nodded, digesting the plan. But Arthur wasn't done. "And, of course, I'll need men. Marines. I can't expect my sailors to handle everything on their own. I'll need fighters, ones who can hold the deck while we secure the cargo."

Washington's gaze remained fixed on Arthur, considering his words. After a beat, he spoke. "I shall write to Congress," he said simply. "Requesting the detachment of marines you'll need."

Arthur inclined his head in gratitude, knowing this was a hard-won victory. "Thank you, General. With their support, I'll bring us the ships we need, and whatever supplies we can seize."

He smirked to himself as he strode down toward the anchorage, where the Mars Hope was waiting. The game was afoot, and for the first time in a long while, Arthur felt that familiar rush—the feeling of being at the edge of something big.

It was time to make the Royal Navy remember the name Arthur Smith.


AN: Another Arthur smith omake!
 
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I have to disagree here simply because Hamilton wanted America to become a monarchy, lol. That is far more radical than any of Halbert's beliefs, in my opinion, even for the time period.

Hamilton didn't want a monarchy, he instead wanted special electors to choose a national governor, aka president, and senators who would then serve for life. He wanted state governors to be selected by the national governor. So more like a constitutional dictator
 
Many of those characters in Washingtons spies are based on, or are, real people from history.

Its mostly about Washington spies in the Culper ring and other spy rings around the thirteen colonies that served in his spy ring.
 
I had no idea what Liberty's Kids was before reading this thread, as we obviously didn't get that show in the UK, but after Googling it and doing some research it seems like a pretty cool idea for a cartoon!

I'm imagining an AU version where the Revolution failed. Probably called "TREASON'S WHIPPERSNAPPERS" or something, and the premise is evil mad scientist Ben Franklin indoctrinating poor innocent loyalist kids into becoming child soldiers. :V
 
With respect to the British evacuating, what drove them to do so was the combination of the Continentals employing the guns purloined from Fort Ticonderoga at the Boston Neck, and the Continentals' seizure of the Dorchester Heights to the south. Cannon positioned atop those heights could fire clear across the bay, and this could control the sea lanes into Boston. Out of character, we know Colonel Arnold has captured Ticonderoga and it's guns and supplies.

While the Army of Observation lacks cannon, we can certainly bluff that we have them by employing "Quaker guns" (logs painted with tar or pitch to look like a cannon; Quakers being notoriously pacifistic). A quick night raid to seize the heights, then set up some gun positions with "cannons" either dragged up or prepared on site. Even better if we could temporarily dismount one of Captain Smith's odd guns to deepen the the deception. Perhaps to fire a "ranging shot" to demonstrate that "yes, we do have cannon here". With the British already planning to evacuate, it might be enough to convince them their their window to escape has been closed, and attempting to sail out of the harbor would be suicide.
 
With respect to the British evacuating, what drove them to do so was the combination of the Continentals employing the guns purloined from Fort Ticonderoga at the Boston Neck, and the Continentals' seizure of the Dorchester Heights to the south. Cannon positioned atop those heights could fire clear across the bay, and this could control the sea lanes into Boston. Out of character, we know Colonel Arnold has captured Ticonderoga and it's guns and supplies.
In character we know that Arnold took Ticonderoga.

The problem is, that George hasn't sent Knox to retrieve them with his noble Train of Artillery.
Even better if we could temporarily dismount one of Captain Smith's odd guns to deepen the the deception. Perhaps to fire a "ranging shot" to demonstrate that "yes, we do have cannon here". With the British already planning to evacuate, it might be enough to convince them their their window to escape has been closed, and attempting to sail out of the harbor would be suicide.
Well we don't exactly need to do that either. We can just dismount the cannons and borrow them for our purposes, and use them to handle and well... fuck shit up.

Don't need to bluff them when, we technically have the cannons.
 
[X]Plan: Life and Liberty, For all Mankind:

More than anything else, we need a good Aide and soon. Hopefully a man from the lower ranks who can give us an "in" with the common soldier. A practical, brutally honest sort would be perfect. If he's a drunken, Irish crackshot it'd be even better :V
 
[X]Plan: Life and Liberty, For all Mankind:

More than anything else, we need a good Aide and soon. Hopefully a man from the lower ranks who can give us an "in" with the common soldier. A practical, brutally honest sort would be perfect. If he's a drunken, Irish crackshot it'd be even better :V
So we need a Sargent Harper to our colonel sharpe?

Bitching
 
[X]Plan: Life and Liberty, For all Mankind:

Doing well so far... the ship interlude was a nice touch and Glover is one of my favorite people from the Revolution ever since I saw the TV movie The Crossing with Jeff Daniels as Washington. The no-nonsense attitude from the interlude fits perfectly with how I imagined him to be. :D

The British are really doing poorly. So poorly in fact, that I expect King George and Parliament to quickly sent massive reinforcements, while their heads are still hot from the humiliation they've suffered. I also doubt they will be all that willing to talk it out even more, than IRL after this disaster.

Fun fact: Thomas Howard, 3rd Earl of Effingham, was a Captain of the 5th Regiment of Foot, aged 29. After the Revolution broke out, he resigned his commission (and any lucrative advancements that may come with it, effectively ruining his career in the military) in protest when he learned, that his unit will be sent to America in order to fight. He concluded, that the war was unjust and he didn't wish to fight his fellow countrymen (although he still resented the colonists for taking up arms, instead of advancing their cause peacefully). The Americans of the time named a few ships after him and even some towns were called Effingham in his honor for this act of solidarity.
 
I don't see lasting long as it will be very costly in not just manpower and resources but their treasury...

Also, I'm honestly surprised the British enemies (besides France) aren't taking advantage of this.
 
[X]Plan: Life and Liberty, For all Mankind:

Do love it's improving Martial, Stewardship and Prowess. Gonna be important in short and long term.

Washington asks for us? We obey like a good soldier. Helping with health is always important in a army. Arthur action could help with the navy. Aide is important even if they are only decent.
 
Many of those characters in Washingtons spies are based on, or are, real people from history.

Its mostly about Washington spies in the Culper ring and other spy rings around the thirteen colonies that served in his spy ring.
Ahhh... You see, this is a disadvantage of not watching tv shows in favor of cartoons and history stuff. :V I would've known this was the case if I had watched. Thanks for the info.

So we need a Sargent Harper to our colonel sharpe?

Soldiering
Ftfy.

since I saw the TV movie The Crossing with Jeff Daniels as Washington.
Funny thing, I'm actually getting to watch it since it's free on YouTube.

Also, I'm honestly surprised the British enemies (besides France) aren't taking advantage of this.
It's only been a month (less than for the sinking of HMS Lively) give it some time. :p
 
Well much the siege of Boston is going much better for the Americans it's not enough for foreign backing I believe? Did the siege more quickly yeah but this is just a taste of the British power. The Continental Army needs more training besides before facing the British Regulars without major field and defense advantages. That can be fixed though if Halbert keeps up the drilling the men and organizing.
 
Ahhh... You see, this is a disadvantage of not watching tv shows in favor of cartoons and history stuff. :V I would've known this was the case if I had watched. Thanks for the info.
I've seen a few snippets and frankly I didn't like it. With the single exception of seeing Robert Rogers being Robert Rogers in all his semi-glory (since he still got to show off some of the skills, that made him a legend once, with the improvised, while under pain and pressure, powder horn grenade being my favorite part).
Funny thing, I'm actually getting to watch it since it's free on YouTube.
Lucky you. Enjoy the movie and Glover being a badass. :)
I had no idea what Liberty's Kids was before reading this thread, as we obviously didn't get that show in the UK, but after Googling it and doing some research it seems like a pretty cool idea for a cartoon!
I actually saw a few selected episodes out of curiosity some years ago (mainly those with guest stars, like Dustin Hoffman as Benedict Arnold or Schwarzenegger as von Steuben) and while entertaining they were too lighthearted for me to watch the whole series. :V
 
Well much the siege of Boston is going much better for the Americans it's not enough for foreign backing I believe? Did the siege more quickly yeah but this is just a taste of the British power.
If you don't manage to catch them, yeah, it's just going to be a bit of a sour moment for the British military. If they surrender, then that'd be a different story.

AN: Another Arthur smith omake!
George Washington has thrown his support behind the idea of a Continental Navy, and the idea gains more traction in Congress.

I really ought to write out a Rumor Mill after this Turn...
 
Even better if we could temporarily dismount one of Captain Smith's odd guns to deepen the the deception. Perhaps to fire a "ranging shot" to demonstrate that "yes, we do have cannon here".

Did some rough research so this might not be entirely accurate. The Mars Hope is a frigate so she primarily has 9 pounders as her armaments.

These are so rough ranges for British naval guns, the 9 pounder fires slightly further than a mile.
* 32 pounder 9′ 6″ 2900 yards at 10 degrees
* 24 pounder 9′ 6″ 2870 yards "
* 24 pounder 6′ 6″ 2562 yards "
* 12 pounder 8′ 6″ 1800 yards at 6 degrees
* 9 pounder 8′ 6″ 1800 yards at 6 degrees


From Dorchester heights to the closest side of East Boston on the other side of the harbor is about 2 miles. So Captain Smiths guns would be enough to deny at least half the harbor bottleneck to the British.
 
So, uh... I went back to calculate what rewards and bonuses you guys would probably get for Turn III... and I'm just realizing now that I forgot to give you another +20 Bonus for Bunker Hill you earned in Turn I... Considering how the battle went, I think you guys won't begrudge me for this tiny mistake. :V
 
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