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Mystical Mechanistics Of Outrageous Fortune [Mili-Moe Magical Mechagirl Yuri Quest]

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ColdGoldLazarus said:
The first girl you lay eyes on is... bouncy, in several senses of the word. She has an unruly mop of carrot-orange hair over a round and grinning face, mischievous eyes darting back and forth between the other, unreceptive passengers. She's wearing a white long-sleeved top that only reaches just below her rather excessive bustline, with an undershirt of chaotic zebra-like black-and-white striping to cover her somewhat chubby midsection. Her thighhighs and garishly pink flared miniskirt do absolutely nothing to conceal how thick her thighs are, or the width of the hips they support. Yet she also seems quite fit, with her muscular upper arms providing the most tangible proof of hard strength existing under the welcoming layer of pudge.

The second girl is seemingly her total opposite, a curled-up runt staring unblinkingly out the window. She's wearing tight black leggings and a massive navy-blue peacoat that she's all but drowing in, and while her hime-cut long black hair cascades glossily down her back, her disposition is most comparable to that of a corpse. She's got her slender legs hugged tight to her chest, while sleeves that extend at least a foot past where her hands must be hang down in front to obscure her form. What little of her skin you can see doesn't seem too terribly pale and her face isn't as gaunt as you'd expect, but she's still clearly closed herself off from her surroundings.
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Huh, Nora and genderbent Ren? I know they're not the only examples of these archetypes, but they sure sound similar.

[ ] The Gangly Girl. She strikes you as simple and straightforward, reliable and easy to talk with about nothing in particular.

The fact that she's looking at us with "an expectant and friendly smile" means that any option other than this or the group conversation means we're purposely and visibly snubbing her, which I'd rather not do. And I don't think we'll be able to pull girls 2 and 3 into a proper conversation.

Do people think we should try anyway? First step to becoming team leader maybe?

[ ] Address them all. Maybe you shouldn't sit down right away, but instead try to get a group conversation going.
 
[x] The Card Girl. She seems a bit unfriendly now, but you're familiar with that saying about books and covers.
 
[X] Address them all.

I am amused and delighted at some of the tags here.
 
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Welp, I said I'd revise the scene tomorrow, but then I wound up doing it right now anyway. (It's not looking like I'll get much sleep tonight anyway, so may as well...) Hopefully much more concise while conveying most of the same information, more effectively and interestingly. And I added a flashback to the breakfast 'scene' to explain the draft while fleshing out the parents a sliiight bit more, and generally just cut down on the dry loredumping section. Hopefully it's a more enjoyable read now.

NaanContributor said:
Huh, Nora and genderbent Ren? I know they're not the only examples of these archetypes, but they sure sound similar.
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Ren had nothing to do with any of them, but I will admit the bouncy girl takes some visual inspiration from Nora, yes.
Are you voting for gangly girl or mass address? It looks like you're trying to both.

obssesednuker said:
I am amused and delighted at some of the tags here.
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I'm glad. :D
 
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[x] The Gangly Girl. She strikes you as simple and straightforward, reliable and easy to talk with about nothing in particular.

Let's not snub her.
 
[X] The Gangly Girl. She strikes you as simple and straightforward, reliable and easy to talk with about nothing in particular.
 
Yeah, we're kind of stuck talking to the gangly girl now in some fashion.

Quiet Girl comes off as a loner, but it can be surprisingly easy to include loners actually. We just need something to do, like a game of cards or something, for her to get involved in. Even if she doesn't talk she'd feel included at least a little.

I'm not sure about #3 though. Noblesse Oblige girls can be just as equally likely to be horrible as amazing. Is she the hopeful, helpful type or the jaded cynic? She could make or break this group thing.
 
[X] The Gangly Girl. She strikes you as simple and straightforward, reliable and easy to talk with about nothing in particular.
 
ColdGoldLazarus said:
Are you voting for gangly girl or mass address? It looks like you're trying to both.
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I was just weighing the two options and waiting for a second opinion, and hadn't actually picked yet.

Something I noticed about the premise though, is that you haven't given an explanation as to why only girls are serving as mech pilots here. Not even Infinite Stratos' lazy "the suits only respond to females for some reason" handwave. Is this something we have to find out IC?

[X] Address them all. Maybe you shouldn't sit down right away, but instead try to get a group conversation going.
 
[X] The Quiet Girl. She's not shown many signs of life, but you're really curious what could be going through her mind.
 
[X] Address them all. Maybe you shouldn't sit down right away, but instead try to get a group conversation going.
 
[X] Address them all.

This way we're not snubbing the one girl, but still talking to the others.
 
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NaanContributor said:
I was just weighing the two options and waiting for a second opinion, and hadn't actually picked yet.
Something I noticed about the premise though, is that you haven't given an explanation as to why only girls are serving as mech pilots here. Not even Infinite Stratos' lazy "the suits only respond to females for some reason" handwave. Is this something we have to find out IC?
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Ah, alright.
Yeah, the reasoning behind that will be discussed at some point in the future, probably.
 
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ColdGoldLazarus said:
Ah, alright.
Yeah, the reasoning behind that will be discussed at some point in the future, probably.
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While we're on the subject of (potential) plot holes, how about this one: I gather that the bulk means of transport in and out of this nation goes through this one valley corridor but apparently this nation also has a coastline (judging by the intro) and it only lost contact with the rest of the world in the 20s or 30s. In the long period of contact being lost, did no one think to take a plane, boat, or heck just send an expedition through a unused (because it's less convenient) land route?
 
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obssesednuker said:
While we're on the subject of (potential) plot holes, how about this one: I gather that the bulk means of transport in and out of this nation goes through this one valley corridor but apparently this nation also has a coastline (judging by the intro) and it only lost contact with the rest of the world in the 20s or 30s. In the long period of contact being lost, did no one think to take a plane, boat, or heck just send an expedition through a unused (because it's less convenient) land route?
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Did you really miss the thing about the Barrier? We don't have any outside contact. I'm really not sure where you got that at all since it was specifically called out in the post.
 
ShadowAngelBeta said:
Did you really miss the thing about the Barrier? We don't have any outside contact. I'm really not sure where you got that at all since it was specifically called out in the post.
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Yeah, but the impression I got is that the barrier just covered the valley entrance. Now if it's really 360 and we're in a dome situation (which I suspect will be what Lazarus hastily semi-retcons it to be) that's another matter.
 
It was a dome from the start. I guess that was made less clear when I rewrote the exposition. There was a bit talking about ships coming back damaged from ramming straight into an invisible wall, among other things.
 
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Let's not be greedy in Social. Handling one person in a convo is hard enough for the famed SV!Social, an entire group we know nothing about will be something else entirely.

We can't have our cake and eat it too.
 
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You know what @Hannz, you raise a good point.
Changing my vote:

[X] The Gangly Girl. She strikes you as simple and straightforward, reliable and easy to talk with about nothing in particular.
 
ColdGoldLazarus said:
Ah, alright.
Yeah, the reasoning behind that will be discussed at some point in the future, probably.
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I'd guess maybe something, possibly pseudo-scientific, about mechs chemically malfunctioning upon contact withe Y chromosome? Or it might have something to do with body temperature, which tends to be higher (if only slightly) in females.
 
[X] The Gangly Girl. She strikes you as simple and straightforward, reliable and easy to talk with about nothing in particular.

Social combat.
My greatest weakness.
 
[X] The Gangly Girl. She strikes you as simple and straightforward, reliable and easy to talk with about nothing in particular.

Someday we shall have enough waifu to not ruin our laifu.
 
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Lapin Lune said:
I'd guess maybe something, possibly pseudo-scientific, about mechs chemically malfunctioning upon contact withe Y chromosome? Or it might have something to do with body temperature, which tends to be higher (if only slightly) in females.
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Whatever it is, it's definitely not body temperature. Body Temp can rise or lower really fast whether male or female, so that's out of the window.
 
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