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My Life As An Undead Abomination (Original/LitRPG)

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lmao, more reactions to a "smart" zombie comes, might make survivors question if zombies can gain humanity back
 


I feel like Zombie speaks like heavy, like talking in a foreign language and now being able to say all the words.

I hope he gets a PhD in Russian Literature! lol.
 
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    • Everyone's voice went off at once.

    "John, what the fuck – Holy shit – Is that a – Why is that – Goddamn – Oh my God – Oh dear," the group exclaimed. Every human in attendance had aimed a firearm at the zombie.

    "Hello! I is Kin. It nice to meet you. You teach Words now?" was the zombie's seemingly nonchalant response to being threatened. A silence passed over the humans as they worked through what they were observing.

    "Hey, Mark," came the shaky voice of one, "am I still dreaming or did that zombie just talk to us?"

    "Nah," replied the other, eyes locked onto the zed, "you ain't dreaming. Question is, am I still dreaming?"

    "Alright," commanded John's authoritative voice, "obviously, this was an unexpected development. Let's… start off with some answers. What exactly are you?"

    "I tell you before, I is Kin."

    "Kin? I thought he said Ken," murmured David from behind the zombie.

    "Yes, but what is a Kin?" asked John, ignoring David.

    "Not know Kin? Many Kin outside. Kin green. Kin eat Meats. Kin go 'Bwaaaaagh' all day long. How not know Kin?"

    "Okay, yes, it's obvious you're a zombie," John sighed in exasperation, "What I meant was, how are you talking to us? What makes you different?"

    "Ah, I not know. One day I became smartest Kin," the zombie proudly stated, pleased with itself. "That pretty much it."

    "Damn. Right. Next question, what do you want with us?"

    "I already tell you. I need learn words. You teach me."

    John couldn't believe what he was hearing.

    "Why?!"

    "Why?"

    "Why do you want us to teach you how to read?"

    "Because I want to."

    John had an utterly gobsmacked expression on his face, realizing what a silly question he had asked.

    "Ah, right. I suppose that makes sense. And you'll kill zombies for us if we do this for you?"

    "John, you can't be serious!" countered a voice, "It is a zombie! What if it tries to eat us?"

    "Oh, not worry!" interrupted said zombie, "I not eat you. How learn Words then? Yes, I smash Kin for you. It easy. I smash many Kin before, it very fun."

    "Good to know," John acknowledged. He took a deep breath before he addressed his followers. "Look, it's obviously a lot to dige- think about at this point. It's late and we're all tired, so let's sleep on it and decide in the morning." He focused on the zombie. "If you'd be so kind, Ken – right, that's not your name – would you wait outside the walls until we come get you?"

    "Oh, sure. I forget you need sleeps. I wait just outside walls for you!"

    "…Thanks."

    And so the zombie walked out of the gate, which was shut behind it and locked up tight. True to their word, everyone tried to catch some shut-eye after that.

    Tried.

    . . .

    I meet so much Meat! Not see this many Meat in one place before. Is good! I talk with Meat more after Meat go sleep. Meat decide if Meat want to teach words. Hope Meat does. If not, I go find other Meat to teach words. Remember this place when feel Hunger. Meat still be useful.

    . . .

    It was safe to say that everyone was feeling a bit frazzled at the breakfast table that morning.

    "So," John began, "now that we've gotten a night's rest, let's decide what we're going to do about Ken."

    "We're still calling it Ken?" questioned David.

    "For lack of a better name, yes. Can't just keep calling it 'The Zombie', now can we?"

    "I suppose not."

    "Right, let's begin. There's an odd number of us, so we won't have a tie. Mark, why don't you start us off?"

    The man known as Mark nodded. "Well, I'm gonna' go ahead and say 'Why not?'. If what he said's true, we got ourselves a big green monster that'll fight for us. That's a win in my book."

    "It," a woman interrupted.

    "What?"

    "It's an 'it', Mark. Not a 'he'."

    "I mean, I guess?"

    "We'll all get a turn, Sarah," reminded John.

    "Yeah, whatever," she flippantly replied.

    "Well, that's one for. Now, David, what do you think?"

    "Hoo… go for it. Worst thing that happens is we have to shoot it to death. Undeath. Re-death?"

    John softly sighed in laughter. "Okay. Sarah, it's your turn."

    "This is a terrible idea. We need to kill that thing right-the-fuck now. All a smart zombie's gonna' do is think about the best way to eat us."

    "Noted. Gabe?"

    "Don't trust it."

    "…Care to elaborate?"

    "Gut feeling."

    "Well, alright. James?"

    "I'm with Gabe on this one. We don't know what it is, where it came from, or what it's capable of. Doing business with it is too much of a risk."

    John nodded at the man. He turned to the last remaining member, other than himself. "Lucy? What do you think?"

    "Like, ohmygosh, this is totally the start of Ken's redemption arc! Like, we're gonna' teach him what it means to be human again and stuff and he'll help us out and it'll be great and – what? Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

    "…Damn teenagers," muttered Gabe.

    "Well, Lucy, your stance on the subject has been… noted. And this leaves us with an even three-to-three split, if I'm not mistaken, which means that I will be the deciding vote. My opinion on the matter is that we should accept this deal, and I will explain why that is. The first reason is that we need dedicated muscle at the point. Right now, Gabe and James are pulling double duty as both a salvage crew and a kill team. Freeing them from that will allow us more salvage opportunities as well as keeping them much safer. The second reason is that all Ken is asking for is teaching, which costs us nothing but time and effort. The final reason is that I fear what would happen if we decline the offer. I'm not entirely sure if Ken would be as easy to eliminate as we would expect from the other zombies. Do you all understand my reasoning?"

    Various faces around the table nodded in assent.

    "Then the motion passes."

    Sarah stood up and slammed her hands palm-down onto the table. She pointed a finger at John. "This is a big mistake. Mark my fucking words. When this thing tries to eat one of you, I want you to remember that I told you so." With that said, she stormed off.

    John sighed.

    "She gonna' be okay?" asked David.

    "She will be," John replied. "I don't like it either, but needs must. Just give her time. Now, I've got to get going. I have a zombie to recruit."
     
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    • FatBaldBastard said:
    I just wanted to take a moment and state that I really appreciate everyone reading this work and that I love reading the comments you all leave. Thank you!
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    You have a very interesting concept.

    Also I dont think you ever answered my comment on what Kin is wearing? Maybe he will remember "dress to impress" and break into a store to get some fancy clothes.
     
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