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Magical Tinker Lyrical Taylor Worm/MGLN

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Wayfarer said:
What the HELL does Gladly think he's doing?
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Being a cardboard villain quite honestly.

But then in Worm he overlooked bullying, walked right by without a second glance, after telling Taylor that she should come forwards about the bullying. I'm writing him with the idea that he wasn't the smart kid, went to school with someone apparently smarter than him who then turned out to be cheating.

So in his experience there aren't really any really smart students, just cheaters. Taylor's past work doesn't help here, before her suspension she wasn't turning in very good work, and she'd also apparently copied off her peers a number of times. In his mind she's cheated before, and so this is him catching her cheating again.

No, it's far from my best work. But I had to get the chapter done and out before it bogged down my writing any more.
 
Mr. Gladly, I would call you a crap teacher but that would be an insult to crap teachers worldwide. I mean, really? Did he really miss the news that The Trio tried to steal Taylor's tests and had apparently been sabotaging her for a very long time? Og, of course, he wouldn't believe that cuz he thinks popular kids can do no wrong and the loners are always screw-ups who need to be put in their place. I hope the substitute principal gives him his walking papers. However, I think there's a little too much tell and not enough show. I really would like to actually know the content of the conversations with the substitute principal both here and in the Interlude, instead of just being give a bare bones summary
 
Ai, the stifling the greatness and in Worm that could bit you in the ass, just look at Bakuda.

I mean, they claim we live in a four dimensional world, length, wide, height and time.
Nice statue we all would make, nea?
I mean, without movement it is Schrödingers Cat(?), better know as stasis, because without movement, you do not have elemental vibrations or even things like electronic currents or atomic movements.
To make things worse, Zero Point Energy is vacuum energy, the energy keeping space intact, it literally keeps the building blocks of live (among others) together as some form of super-glue (meaning a Zero Point Energy Field could turn the watery soup we call our dimension, into a soup so thick, a spoon would stay standing straight up, making movement under your own power slow as heck, if it´s still possible. Mmm, might explain those N-jammers from Gundam Seed).

So that make two things that should be dimensional laws as well, without even starting about "action = reaction".
Yeah, I can get why Bakuda found her teachers morons.
It´s more likely we live in a eleven dimensional world, after all, that it also lets certain theories about how the world should work, work.....
That's more a check then anything else.
 
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Vianca said:
Ai, the stifling the greatness and in Worm that could bit you in the ass, just look at Bakuda.

I mean, they claim we live in a four dimensional world, length, wide, height and time.
Nice statue we all would make, nea?
I mean, without movement it is Schrödingers Cat(?), better know as stasis, because without movement, you do not have elemental vibrations or even things like electronic currents or atomic movements.
To make things worse, Zero Point Energy is vacuum energy, the energy keeping space intact, it literally keeps the building blocks of live (among others) together as some form of super-glue (meaning a Zero Point Energy Field could turn the watery soup we call our dimension, into a soup so thick, a spoon would stay standing straight up, making movement under your own power slow as heck, if it´s still possible. Mmm, might explain those N-jammers from Gundam Seed).

So that make two things that should be dimensional laws as well, without even starting about "action = reaction".
Yeah, I can get why Bakuda found her teachers morons.
It´s more likely we live in a eleven dimensional world, after all, that it also lets certain theories about how the world should work, work.....
That's more a check then anything else.
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Wut, how is relevant?
 
JumperPrime said:
I really would like to actually know the content of the conversations with the substitute principal both here and in the Interlude, instead of just being give a bare bones summary
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I'm terrible at dialogue, so I avoid it, if I actually had to write up the conversation it wouldn't be very fulfilling for the reader.

The conversation between Mr Barnes and Ms Howell would go something like this. [and is an example of why I dont do dialogue]
"Have a seat if you will, now you aren't invading the privacy of one of my students"
Allen's expression cooled under the rebuke, turning from mere frosty to glacial.
"Whilst I'm pleased to see a parent taking such a proactive role in their child's education, I feel that highschool is a time for the children to start learning to stand on their own, as they will have to when they leave here and go out into the adult world. Please keep that in mind before rushing out in the future."

Howell's expression and tone was light, as if she wasn't sitting facing off against an obviously furious parent. Unmoved by his choice of professions, or his overpriced suit and watch, well used to dealing with well to do parents of students and prospective students. Allen took a steadying breath to begin his rebuttal, whoever this woman was, his hopes of dealing with these plainly false accusations and slander against his daughter quickly fading as she spoke. His train of thoughts scattered slightly as she spoke again, still in that calm, light voice.

"But it is quite fortuitous that you are here already, saves me a phone call and you daughter a wait. I'm sure you understand that academic sabotage is quite a serious matter, your daughter being caught almost literally red handed attempting to substitute another students tests."

His face heated, unused to being on the wrong side of a style of questioning strongly reminiscent of his own courtroom style, the school office also lacking a judge to cease the steady stream of words, or allow him chance to answer.

"Yes, very serious, but since it's her first offence we'll forgo expulsion this time, a weeks suspension should do it. No point drawing things out afterall. This will go onto her permanent record though, please make sure Miss Barnes understands the seriousness of the offence."

"Well if there's nothing else I have two other parents to speak to"

[see, see, I'm terrible at dialogue]
 
Itsune said:
What he was told to do. Discredit the cheating witch that got the school "Princess Do No Wrong" suspended.
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Told by who? Definitely not the substitute principal who just gave him a verbal smackdown. Not Blackwell, she's still in a coma after an unfortunate black widow bite, if I understand things correctly. Who else could have enough authority to convince him this was a good idea?
 
Wayfarer said:
What the HELL does Gladly think he's doing?
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Lashing out at her, for spoiling his 'cool guy' thing, of course. She rocked his boat, he makes her pay. Petty people like that are all over the place.

edit: Imp'd by like half a page. Wow.

Anyway, nice chapter, as always- I enjoyed reading it, and honestly, Gladly wasn't particularly cardboard-y to me; he's shallow and petty, sure... but hell, I help twenty people like that a day. Nothing particularly SoD-breaking about it.
 
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Hoyden said:
[see, see, I'm terrible at dialogue]
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It's not bad. It's pretty good, actually. You do need to add in some verbal dialogue from Alan Barnes though. or at least have him opening his mouth to interrupt, fidgeting, etc. As it is, it's mostly just the substitute principal pontificating with Alan Barnes sitting there sullenly taking it, which I'm fairly sure he wouldn't do.
 
The Pain Karma Train is pulling into station, ready to pick up an additional victim passenger.
 
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Hoyden said:
I'm terrible at dialogue, so I avoid it,
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I know it's natural to avoid things we don't like doing, but you're doing yourself a disservice by not writing dialog. You may not like how you write dialog, but instead of saying "I'm not good at it" instead say "how can I improve?" If you get in the habit of treating it as a chance to improve, you will improve. As others have said, your dialog isn't terrible. It can be improved, but that's normal.

Seriously, the quickest way to not writing bad dialog is to practice writing dialog.
 
Nuke_Equestria said:
I know it's natural to avoid things we don't like doing, but you're doing yourself a disservice by not writing dialog. You may not like how you write dialog, but instead of saying "I'm not good at it" instead say "how can I improve?" If you get in the habit of treating it as a chance to improve, you will improve. As others have said, your dialog isn't terrible. It can be improved, but that's normal.

Seriously, the quickest way to not writing bad dialog is to practice writing dialog.
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Surprisingly? I'm a student of this way of thought. I'm not the best writer, not even really that good. But by doing it, I improve.

*Pumps fist* Come on, Hoyden I believe in you!

Ok, that was a little cheesy for me. >.> I'ma go back to writing now, almost done with a chapter.​
 
There's a reason "cool" teachers don't exist. Teachers that can comprehend what goes on in adolescent society while remaining professional are rare but out there, but "cool" teachers always have an angle. "Cool" teachers are just the high tier high school students who couldn't cut it in the real world and came back to school where they knew how to rule the nest. The proverbs "Frog in the well" or "Big fish in small pond" come to mind.
 
zaiaku said:
There's a reason "cool" teachers don't exist. Teachers that can comprehend what goes on in adolescent society while remaining professional are rare but out there, but "cool" teachers always have an angle.
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Bah, and feh.

I've had some great "cool" highschool teachers. None of them were trying to be cool, they just were so passionate about their subject matter that they made us students care.

Passion about subject + not a condescending assnapkin = a good yet "cool" teacher.
 
jerkface said:
Bah, and feh.

I've had some great "cool" highschool teachers. None of them were trying to be cool, they just were so passionate about their subject matter that they made us students care.

Passion about subject + not a condescending assnapkin = a good yet "cool" teacher.
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Agreed, its like being a hipster if your trying you failed.
 
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