Life With the Ship Girls, or, How I Learned How to Stop Worrying and Love the Polygamy

Well if you need another character you can throw mine in.
Character listing:
Trantos1_0 (@jwolfe_beta)

My theme can be the newb trying to get into the game (fun but still figuring things out) but RNGesus keeps dumping me in matches that are a lot higher then my T1 cruiser should be in. Well that and I'm paranoid about allied destroyers (they keep shooting me with torps when I'm clearly passing in front of them!:rage:)

SKY BLUE for allied players

RED
for opposing players*

GOLD for your own messages

AMBER for division (think a raid team)

ORANGE for friends (personal messages only)
Could you give me a location of the colors you're using on the SV text color grid because I have not been able to copy any of the shades using the thing.
 
I'm sure you'll get out of the T1 cruiser soon enough - like in three battles, and you can only get past T2 battles in it if you division with someone or a raging jerk decides to jump into the PvE que and there aren't enough players at his tier to make it a full game.

But yeah, unfriendly torpedoes. It sort of gets better at higher tiers.
 
I'm sure you'll get out of the T1 cruiser soon enough - like in three battles, and you can only get past T2 battles in it if you division with someone or a raging jerk decides to jump into the PvE que and there aren't enough players at his tier to make it a full game.

But yeah, unfriendly torpedoes. It sort of gets better at higher tiers.
That's the joke. In the Kantai-verse my character keeps popping into the higher tier matches when he really shouldn't be. It's nothing he or anyone else is doing, it just keeps happening.

Though it did happen once IRL. I ended up in a T3-5 coop game and while I didn't get any kills, got some decent hits in and set some of the bots on fire. The random hit taking off 9/10s of my HP was a bit more scary, still not sure got me though.
 
(MissingJimbo) Waifued by Kongou, and Winter gets Punished. Again.
Anyway, next snippet!

It was awkward telling my family that I wound up being promoted to a Flag rank in the Navy, and was set up with someone on the opposite side of the world. And having a mother who insisted on Skyping alongside Kongou and myself made things even more embarrassing. And now my sisters were teasing me with shouts of 'Burning Love!'. Fortunately, mom proved to be best mom by taking my sisters out shopping. All the way up in Cleveland. I'm not sure if dad, if he were here, would call me one lucky S.O.B., or would scold me for... some reason. He'd probably do the former while giving me dating advice with his usual wit. Man died too soon, considering grandpa got a girlfriend not a month after his funeral, and we needed his sense of humor.

Still, I needed to think about something less depressing, and after whiling half an hour away on Minecraft, booted WoWS back up and asked to div up with the Fog clan. On a positive note, I didn't look half-bad in that Admiral's uniform. Even though I had no idea how to properly put it on and would probably get yelled at. Anyway, Enterprise was happy to join up, but only after a quick chat.

[16:27] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG]: So, how'd it go~?
[16:27] CompassJimbo [VLCTY]: Family got dragged in off the bat. They know. Probably should have used a pseudonym or something on that note.
[16:27] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG]: She sent me pictures. She likes a man in uniform. She says your family's nice, if confused.
[16:28] CompassJimbo [VLCTY]: And I'm betting nothing is going to keep her from barging her way into my life. Damn. Wish my dad were here. Could use the dating advice.
[16:29] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG]: Oh. I'm so sorry.
[16:29] CompassJimbo [VLCTY]: Don't beat yourself up over it. You didn't know. Besides, those torpedo puns of yours should help me forget my sisters' incessant teasing. I could use a good laugh.
[16:31] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG]: Well, considering she took Sealion's nice and deep like a champ...
[16:31] CompassJimbo [VLCTY]: That was actually kind of funny. In a slightly morbid way. Anywho, shall we get to blowing stuff up?
[16:32] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG]: Can do.


Soon enough, the legendary carrier and I had a match up and running. And one of her favorites was on the opposing team. O hai, Winter.

[16:35] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Yorktown): Is that some Winter I see?
[16:36] Winterpwner [ANZIO] (Pensacola): Nope. Not here.
[16:36] CompassJimbo [VLCTY] (Cleveland): You absolutely suck at lying. Did you know that?
[16:37] Winterpwner [ANZIO] (Pensacola): Goddammit
[16:37] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Yorktown): No matter who I torpedo, you'll always have a special place in my heart.
[16:38] Winterpwner [ANZIO] (Pensacola): Goddammit
[16:38] CompassJimbo [VLCTY] (Cleveland): You're sure fond of saying that.
[16:38] Winterpwner [ANZIO] (Pensacola): Only because I HAVE TO DEAL WITH A LEWD CARRIER DRIVER
[16:39] TTK_Plinko (Aoba): take a chill pill winter
[16:39] Hopkerson (Kongo): Calm down winter. Shes just a carrier driver
[16:40] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Yorktown): A carrier driver that loves to shove song, hard, thick torps into your tailpipes~
[16:40] bunkershot (New York): do u rly ned 2 b that lewd?
[16:41] CompassJimbo [VLCTY] (Cleveland): That's just her style. Deal with it.
[16:41] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Yorktown): Why? You asking for one~?
[16:42] bunkershot (New York): on 2nd thot, nvr mind.
Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu has achieved: Devastating Strike!
Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu has achieved: Double Strike!
[16:42] CompassJimbo [VLCTY] (Cleveland): Look at them take it. All while I sit back and shoot stuff down.
CompassJimbo has achieved: Clear Skies!
[16:42] CompassJimbo [VLCTY] (Cleveland): Hey, my first!
[16:43] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Yorktown): Shame you can't resist mine once the time comes
[16:43] Winterpwner [ANZIO] (Pensacola): I see you, Jimbo! Prepare to die!
[16:44] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Yorktown): Not if I can help it. Now how about you spread them?
Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu has achieved: Devastating strike!
[16:44] Winterpwner [ANZIO] (Pensacola): Goddammit
[16:44] CompassJimbo [VLCTY] (Cleveland): Easy pickings. Thanks, Haku.
[16:45] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Yorktown): You owe me pics of your first date.
[16:45] CompassJimbo [VLCTY] (Cleveland): That's going to suck.
[16:45] Winterpwner [ANZIO] (Pensacola): What? Did you meet someone?
[16:46] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Yorktown): I set him up with someone. How about you describe her, Jimbo?
[16:46] CompassJimbo [VLCTY] (Cleveland): She's Japanese, hyper, and likes the uniform Haku sent me.

However, before Winter could respond, the last enemy ship slipped beneath the waves and the match was over. My life was about to start a new chapter, and it was one written by a hyperactive WWII veteran. God help me once she comes.
 
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(NuclearNickel) Going Nukes Can't Melt Dank Hakus (1)
Welp. Here I am again, getting home form that summer job I got...sheesh, that place was boring as hell. I mean, most Highschoolers work in parks or some shit, but me? Nope. I work in a goddamn call center as an intern. Yeah, I get paid and stuff, but it's still mind slaughteringly boring just sitting there typing for eight entire hours.

But then again....

Anyway, I decided to call up Suzuya again via the wonders of Skype. Maybe she'd be in the mood for some WoWs or some other game we both had. I had to admit, she was a damn good Cruiser captain and could probably match anyone in the entire world on this game when it came down to it. It's like her experience was derived form existing skill....maybe she was in the Navy or something? I mean, she may be old enough....

And that was awkward, so swiftly moving on now.

"Ello'." I said in a lazy imitation of an Irish accent. She just giggled and replied with a casual 'Hey'. I proposed the idea of internet MMO stupidity and she seemed just fine with it. I booted up WoWs and waited for a proper match to start, which took about five seconds.

Yippie for high-speed internet.

As we got into the match I surveyed the team lists. I myself was second to the top with a Midway-class appearing over my name. I flipped through, noting Suzuya on the list as she was...5th, I think. I moved on to the enemy's list and...

Well.

Shit.

Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu. She was on the top of her teams list in...what I think was a Midway? I dunno, I was just stuck staring at the name in pure muted terror. Yet, my face remained in that weird state where you're debating going on an anus-tearing vocal murder spree, or simply inhaling deeply and exhaling to remain calm. Luckily for Suzuya's ears, I opted for the second choice, which spared her eardrums. Because, motherfucker, I am loud when I'm pissed off. Hell, I could be a politician!

....Nah, to much bullshit.

But still....for Fog carrier to be here? Just fuck my ass and call me Sasha Grey.

My team shared the sentiment.

[17:00] MeowMix (Shimakaze): GGWP
[17:00] BigShawn (Montana): Hope you boys like looking at the floor. That's all we're gonna see once we get bent over.
[17:01) APieceOfToast [OPPAI] (Iowa) : Who's that she's divisioned with?

[17:01] Fog_Cruiser_Suzuya [FOG] (Mogami): Dunno, don't care. We can kill em'!
[17:02] Macaroon [INJST] (Baltimore):
TAKE ME HAKU
[17:02] Macaroon [INJST] (Baltimore): I AM READY
[17:02] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): Oh my~
[17:02] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): How enthusiastic~
[17:02] Fog_Cruiser_Suzuya [FOG] (Mogami): Lewd.

Jesus Christ, what the fuck.

I simply stretched my arms, cracked my knuckles, popped my neck, and clenched my ass cheeks. I'd find it necessary in the end.

"Welp....Square heads down for the Big Bosch Gangbang!"

"....Lewd."
 
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(Greek Fire) Haku Gets Rammed Hard by Greek Fire
[10:12] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Richelieu): Wait, is that Haku on the enemy team?
[10:12] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): Oh hai Greek!
[10:12] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Richelieu): Oh boy, dis gun be gud.
[10:13] Ghost_Boat [FOG] (Montana): Wait Greek what are you doing
[10:13] DepthChargeDecoy [FOG] (Gearing): Where the fuck did I put that popcorn?!
[10:13] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Richelieu): SWIGGTY SWOOTY
[10:13] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Richelieu): I'M COMING FOR THAT CARRIER BOOTY
[10:13] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): Oh what the hell.

[10:13] Fog_Flagship_Yamato [FOG] (Yamato): Is this one of those players you told me about?
[10:14] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): Yep!
Greek_Fire has achieved "Devastating Strike!"
Fog_Flagship_Yamato has achieved "Detonation"
[10:18] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Richelieu): HOLY SHIT THOSE CIT PENS
[10:18] Fog_Flagship_Yamato [FOG] (Yamato): Why do I feel so angry?
[10:18] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): OH YOU LITTLE SHIT!
[10:18] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Richelieu): Guys, I think I pissed her off...
[10:19] DepthChargeDecoy [FOG] (Gearing): What the fuck are you waiting for GET OUT OF THERE
[10:19] Ghost_Boat [FOG] (Montana): RUN GREEK RUN
[10:19] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Richelieu): there is no running, only fighting!
[10:22] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): DAMNIT GREEK STOP DODGING MY TORPEDO SPREADS
[10:23] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Richelieu): nah
[10:23] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Richelieu): Looks like it's just you and me Haku!
[10:25] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): Fuck I lost him!
[10:25] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): WHERE ARE YOU!?
[10:25] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Richelieu): HERE
[10:25] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Richelieu): RAMMING SPEED!!!!
Greek_Fire has achieved "Die Hard!"
[10:25] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): We will never speak of this again.
 
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I DON'T CHASE AFTER BISMARCK!
"A terabyte...?" Erika estimated.
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMEEEEEED

I suppose making it so SHE'S the one who travels across the world to move in technically makes it her chasing you, but you know what? My point still stands that someone is less of a hotshot around her.

Oh, and you're
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEED.
 
(NuclearNickel) Going Nukes Can't Melt Dank Hakus (2)
[18:05] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): Uhhh....
[18:05] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): Da fuck?
[18:05] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): Again?!
[18:05] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): REALLY?!
[18:05] Fog_Cruiser_Suzuya [FOG] (Mogami): ....How?
[18:06] GimbleRetalliator (Scharnhorst): He's not divisioned with anyone. Weird.
[18:07] GenisisSBX (North Carolina): Hack?
[18:07] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): No.
[18:08] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): No I didn't.
[18:08] BbK2442 (Jean Bart): Murphy's got it out for us.

[18:08] Fog_Cruiser_Suzuya [FOG] (Mogami): Nickel, can I keep it?
[18:09] Nickel [12TH] (Implacable): Sure you can deary.
[18:09] Fog_Cruiser_Suzuya [FOG] (Mogami): Yay!
[18:10] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): Oh my~
[18:10] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): Don't worry, I'll be gentle~
[18:11] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): I'm in hell.
 
"Switch TTS from Third Person to First Person."

"Confirmed."

"Set humour values to seventy-five percent."

"Confirmed. Setting humour values to seventy-five percent. Self-Destruct Sequence in T-Minus ten, nine, eight--"

"Set humour values to sixty-five percent."

"Confirmed. Knock knock."

"MONO, do you really want fifty-five percent?"

The rectangular box chuckled. "Maybe."

I just rolled my eyes. Why did I have to build a snarky rectangular box-robot in the first place?

Oh yeah, that's right. I watched Interstellar.

--

It was another boring summer day. I had completed my work at the university's labs, and I just wanted to relax and not do anything major. I loaded up Steam, hoping perhaps that someone would be on.

(12:04 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Hey, Winter, you busy?
(12:04 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : No, not really.
(12:04 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Good, 'cause there's something I need to tell you...

I was expecting many things. I wasn't expecting to find out that the carrier captain who has been my friendly arch-nemesis has been no one other than Yvonne Swanson, otherwise known as the USS Enterprise.

(12:04 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Wait, Haku, you're telling me you're Enterprise?
(12:04 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Oh my god.
(12:04 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Just... Oh my god. I'm best friends with the Enterprise?
(12:16 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Yup.
(12:16 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Hence why I'm so good at carriers.
(12:16 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : I actually thought that you were Choukai at one point, actually, until I saw when you registered.
(12:16 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Alpha tester, huh?
(12:16 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Yeah, but... wow.
(12:17 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : I've been gaming alongside the legend.
(12:17 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : I feel like the world's biggest fool now. :c
(12:17 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Aww, don't feel like that.
(12:17 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : *pats head*
(12:17 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : You're not a fool, and you're certainly not the only person who was mislead.
(12:17 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Yeah but... agh, I just feel so /stupid./
(12:17 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Don't be.
(12:18 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : You didn't know, the guys over on the FOG thread didn't know, heck, Dakota didn't even know I played warships, and I sunk her at /least/ a hundred times before she figured it out!
(12:18 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : So don't feel so bad.
(12:19 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Alright.
(12:19 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Just don't mind me, clueless kid over here. *waves sign*
(12:19 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : xD
(12:19 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : You're not clueless.
(12:19 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : In fact, aren't you the guy that Bismarck talks about all the time?
(12:20 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Y-You mean Erika?
(12:20 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Oh god I'm falling in love with a kanmusu
(12:21 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : And I'm pretty sure she's in love with me
(12:20 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : What have I done
(12:20 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Yvonne (can I call you Yvonne?), I'm dooommmeeeeedddd
(12:20 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : doooooooooooommmmeedddddd
(12:20 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Oh my god Winter stop it
(12:21 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : I'm going to wake up Yamato stop
(12:21 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : You're making me laugh
(12:21 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
(12:21 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : DoOoOoOoOoOmMmMeEeEeEdDdDdD?
(12:21 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : ABSOLUTELY PELVIS-SHATTERINGLY DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
(12:21 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : RAP ME
(12:21 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : *ROPE
(12:21 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : **RIP
(12:22 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Goddamnit
(12:22 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : xD
(12:22 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Keyboard problems?
(12:22 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : No, thinking problems
(12:22 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : I'm waifuing a kanmusu
(12:22 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : brb trying to AAAAAAAAAHHHHH in peace here
(12:22 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : don't mind the hyperventilating 24 year old here
(12:22 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : just awkwardly stare at him and move on
(12:22 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : nothing interesting here
(12:23 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Yamato woke up. Thanks a ton Winter. Now I have to explain why I'm laughing at a text filled screen.
(12:23 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : no problem m'lady
(12:23 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : *tips fedora while doing a 360 backflip into the air and noscoping the great dorito bag in the sky*
(12:23 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : But seriously wow
(12:23 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Does she like me?
(12:23 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Like, like like me?
(12:23 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : I dunno, what kind of like are we talking about here?
(12:23 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : goddamnit
(12:23 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Yvonne, you /know/ the one I'm talking about!
(12:24 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Ohh? Which one? Sorry, I'm currently incapacitated by my beautiful wife here, you're going to have to explain it to me while I stare at her chest.
(12:24 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : I uh
(12:24 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : uhm
(12:24 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : what
(12:24 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : buh
(12:24 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : xD
(12:24 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : I would love to see the look on your face right now
(12:24 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : anyway
(12:24 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Is she in love with me? Like, is she just joking around or is she serious?
(12:25 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : No she's not. Not at all. No she doesn't spend half of her waking hours tapping away at her computer, chatting with a guy on another continent while doodling pictures of him and her
(12:25 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Which, I might add, look /fantastic/
(12:25 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : As well as playing video games with him.
(12:25 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Nope, not at all, totally not a sign of a girl in love.
(12:25 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : So is that a yes?
(12:26 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : YES SHE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU YA BIG DENSE KID
(12:26 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : In fact Winter, she told me a few days ago that she's going to meet a guy at Toronto Pearson
(12:26 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Hope you're ready
(12:26 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Oh my god she's coming over!?
(12:26 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Whaaaooowwowowowow
(12:29 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : I gotta figure out how to clean my flat
(12:29 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Isn't it spotless?
(12:29 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : ye
(12:29 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : but I must make it so spotless it's atomically perfect
(12:29 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : oh god it's actually happening
(12:30 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : What should I do!?
(12:30 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Just be yourself, silly!
(12:30 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : You already got this far without even knowing she's the Fast Battleship Bismarck!
(12:30 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Yeah but I have a figurine of her
(12:30 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : and like
(12:30 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : at least a terabyte of Bismarck-centric lewds
(12:30 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : wat do
(12:31 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Make them reality.
(12:31 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : So commence Operation Waifu?
(12:31 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Yes
(12:31 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Your mission
(12:31 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Should you choose to accept it (as if you have any other choice)
(12:31 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Is to make Erika, otherwise known as the battleship Bismarck
(12:31 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : into your wife.
(12:33 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Mission accepted
(12:33 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Do I get a complementary reinforced pelvis with this mission?
(12:33 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : I'll see what I can get Dakota to build
(12:33 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Also, a terabyte of Bismarck lewds?
(12:33 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Made most of them.
(12:33 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : >////<
(12:34 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Heh. You perv~
(12:34 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : I-I'm not a pervert! Just an adult with a healthy adult sex drive!
(12:35 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Anyway
(12:35 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Congrats Winter
(12:35 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : Hope you take care of her. She's really looking forward to meeting you.
(12:35 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : So have fun, I gotta go do paperwork now.
(12:35 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Paperwork?
(12:35 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Does that involve Yamato, pray tell?
(12:36 2022-07-21) Hakuryuu : SEE YOU LATER WINTER
(12:24 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : Welp, goodbye pelvis
(12:24 2022-07-21) Iced Tea : I hardly knew ye

So... she's coming over.

... I need to invest in better encryption, for starters.

What have I gotten myself into?

"You okay, Al?"

I turned to look at MONO. She had a question mark on her right screen.

"Yeah..." I scratched my head. "Never better, actually. So apparently I'm getting a girlfriend."

"Congrats!" she said, turning into a cartwheel and rolling over to pat me on the head. "So, what do you want me to do?" she said after making a mess out of my hair.

"Reinforce the bed, please," I said seriously.

"You might want to get your pelvis checked as well." Her cue light came on.

"Yeah, will do."
 
[18:05] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): Uhhh....
[18:05] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): Da fuck?
[18:05] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): Again?!
[18:05] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): REALLY?!
[18:05] Fog_Cruiser_Suzuya [FOG] (Mogami): ....How?
[18:06] GimbleRetalliator (Scharnhorst): He's not divisioned with anyone. Weird.
[18:07] GenisisSBX (North Carolina): Hack?
[18:07] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): No.
[18:08] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): No I didn't.
[18:08] BbK2442 (Jean Bart): Murphy's got it out for us.

[18:08] Fog_Cruiser_Suzuya [FOG] (Mogami): Nickel, can I keep it?
[18:09] Nickel [12TH] (Implacable): Sure you can deary.
[18:09] Fog_Cruiser_Suzuya [FOG] (Mogami): Yay!
[18:10] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): Oh my~
[18:10] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): Don't worry, I'll be gentle~
[18:11] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): I'm in hell.
[18:11] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Yamato): Don't worry, if she tries to be too rough, I'll impale her Midway on the prow of my Yamato.
 
[18:12] Nickel [12TH] (Implacable): My sides X3
[18:12] Fog_Cruiser_Suzuya [FOG] (Mogami): Leeeeewwwwd
[18:13] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): I THOUGHT WE AGREED NOT TO MENTION THAT MATCH!
[18:13] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Yamato): I lied.
[18:13] Jingles (Des Moines): Heh. Greek the Impaler.
 
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[18:11] Greek_Fire [VLCTY] (Yamato): Don't worry, if she tries to be too rough, I'll impale her Midway on the prow of my Yamato.
[18:12] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): At least this BS is giving me plenty of torpedo dodging practice.
[18:13] Babel_Fish_X [FOG] (Iowa): Don't you mean torpedo eating practice? : )
[18:13] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): Ha, ha. Like you can dodge FCH's danmaku any better in that thing.
[18:14] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): She can't. It's adorable watching her try to run away from destiny.
[18:15] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): ....I'll go play canary on A.
[18:20] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): A cap, enemy C disable, B+D pissed torps coming taking fire
 
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[18:12] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): At least this BS is giving me plenty of torpedo dodging practice.
[18:13] Babel_Fish_X [FOG] (Iowa): Don't you mean torpedo eating practice? : )
[18:13] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): Ha, ha. Like you can dodge FCH's danmaku any better in that thing.
[18:14] Fog_Carrier_Hakuryuu [FOG] (Midway): She can't. It's adorable watching her try to run away from destiny.
[18:15] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): ....I'll go play canary on A.
[18:20] Trantos1_0 (Omaha): A cap, enemy C disable, B+D pissed torps coming taking fire
[18:21] Nickel [12TH] (Implacable): Trantos. Come hither little one.
I then proceeded to re-allocate my fighters to perform a CAP escort over the little Cruiser.
[18:22] Nickel [12TH] (Implacable): I shall defend thee.
 
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So, no one is going to guess who DepthChargeDecoy and Ghost_Boat are?
 
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