Guile
Having a really great time right now
I was absolutely game to try out Rapha and Marach
But they just get buried further and further in the toybox with every new friend
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Let's Play Every Final Fantasy Game In Order Of Release [Now Finished: Final Fantasy Tactics]
- Thread starter Omicron
- Start date
- Let's Play
But they just get buried further and further in the toybox with every new friend
This is the other issue with the two of them, yes. Mustadio and Agrias join you near the end of Chapter 2, giving them plenty of time to catch up to the blorbos and be relevant even if they had bad kits (one could argue whether Mustadio does, Agrias not really).
Rapha and Marach... don't actually join until the start of Chapter 4, very much do have lackluster abilities, and oh yeah Chapter 4 has multiple sidequests to go around with other new unique units who probably have better abilities in their unique classes and the twins have no real ahead start to build better kits. Throw in the 5 character limit for fights(4 really with Ramza) and they almost always get left by the wayside.
Egleris
Vagrant Dragon
- Location
- Italy
So, I thought this over, and how to help you with the issue without spoiling the structure of every map going forwards, and my best suggestion is this: check the name and description of the next location before you head to battle there. If it's a castle, a city, or some sort of mountain-based location, then you want to go with Ignore Elevation. If it is something else, especially something that suggests plains or a fight inside a building, then you probably will benefit more from Move +2. It's not a 100% strategy, and some maps will work equally well with either ability, but it's probably the best way you have to make a more informed guess of what sort of battlefield you'll be facing and adapt to it in advance.
I hope that helps!
As a native English speaker, the original translation is bad. It (usually) manages to get the information across, but it's dry as the desert. It's functional but not fun, barring a few lines like "blame yourself or God".
Translation is more than merely directly swapping words and adjusting for grammar. It needs to have rizz or it's just a textbook. That is why the WotL translation is superior even if you're not a fan of the mildly purple prose and the pseudo Early Modern English (aka, Shakespeare) styling.
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Outlander isn't a word anyone would really use in a modern context, but it is both a very obvious construct for native English speakers - especially in the context of an ambiguously brown dude in the middle of a country where everyone is fair skinned - and also isn't as obviously racist as calling a person exotic.
Also, with regards to translation priorities, you can always safely assume that they're translating for an American audience of native English speakers. Quite apart from the translation teams being (usually) Americans, they're the largest market of English speakers. It just makes financial sense to tailor the translation to the market in question.
Translation is more than merely directly swapping words and adjusting for grammar. It needs to have rizz or it's just a textbook. That is why the WotL translation is superior even if you're not a fan of the mildly purple prose and the pseudo Early Modern English (aka, Shakespeare) styling.
---
Outlander isn't a word anyone would really use in a modern context, but it is both a very obvious construct for native English speakers - especially in the context of an ambiguously brown dude in the middle of a country where everyone is fair skinned - and also isn't as obviously racist as calling a person exotic.
Also, with regards to translation priorities, you can always safely assume that they're translating for an American audience of native English speakers. Quite apart from the translation teams being (usually) Americans, they're the largest market of English speakers. It just makes financial sense to tailor the translation to the market in question.
- Location
- USA
I honestly cannot believe more people are arguing over the word "outlander," which is an extant, if seldom-used, word, than they argued over "sellsword," which is made up.
Btw, this limit is something which surprises me. I mean, all the others same kind of games I have played, allows for more characters in a fight. To limit to 5 seems very low. Well, I suppose the good part is that the fights are shorter, but in the same time, it gives me a feeling that the stakes are a bit low, maybe ?
Or maybe it's just a technical issue, but it seems weird. Or to not disturb FF players by giving them too many characters to manage in one fight, like in the mainline games. Idk.
all words are made up, that's how language works
Eh, I don't mind the limit being 5. It allows a decent spread of skills without making any character feel redundant (I say, while having 2 ninjas
).From my understanding? It might actually be a technical issue (at least in the original version of the game). Apparently, FFT can only handle so many unique sprites on the map at one time, so at a minimum it always has to allocate those 4-5 slots necessary for your party since they could all be different classes. Then some maps might have important NPCs or unique enemies, taking up more slots in the memory.
IIRC the most blatant example of this is Zeirchele Falls where you get backstabbed by Gaffgarion. You've got Ramza, Agrias, and Gaffgarion both in the party, then Ovelia and Delita on the map itself (that's already 5 slots). Then they give you 3 slots for characters instead of the usual 4 (up to 8 slots). And then the enemy team... is entirely Knights, there are no other classes, because they've used up all the room they have since they can't predict whether or not the player will save any slots by bringing their own Knights.
So anyways, end result is even in maps where you do get a full 5 deployment slots, the enemy team can't have more than 4 or 5 unique classes scattered about and for bigger enemy compositions they have to just repeat classes, like shoving in multiple summoners or whatever. The more slots they give the player, the less room for enemies, unless they want to do things like "deploy 8 characters, we'll just flood the map in 40 chocobos".
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Egleris
Vagrant Dragon
- Location
- Italy
Yeah, it's mostly this. The thing to understand is that the FFT enemy AI was extremely advanced for its time, capable of doing a number of things that most tactical games had trouble doing.
Notice how we've not really heard of any illogical or strange behavior from the AI in the let's play, how they in fact are dynamically reacting to the developing situations and can do tricky things like aiming a spell into the area where a Dragoon is not by taking into account the time the jump will land and how the spell will go off before the target can move.
The only reason a reaction like Hamedo/First Strike works is that the AI ability to detect reaction abilities on your units is specifically disabled - and even then, the AI can notice things like Shirahori/Blade Grasp with 100 Brave (say Ramza after a few Screams) making a unit impossible to hit, or an unit already being under Death Sentence, and will chose different targets as a result. It knows that backstabbing is better so it'll angle for those, it knows that killing Ramza will win it the battle so, if it can, will give priority to targeting him, and a lot more stuff.
It's actually really hard to make the AI of FFT do nonsensical things, and generally it requires the players to do things that make no sense within the context of winning a battle first themselves, such as keeping an enemy alive to grind JP.
The cost for that is that the engine can only handle so much complexity, so there's a cap of sixteen units on any given battle, player-controlled ones included. That automatically forces the player's party to be small, since if the player could control eight units, it'd be impossible to put the player in a severely outnumbered position such as at the Execution Grounds or Zirekile, or the rare battle of Grogh Heights, available from the start of Chapter 4, where you face 11 enemy Monks at once.
And then, as @McFluffles mentioned, there's also the visual limit of nine sprites per battle, which is the other engine limitation; it's the reason why enemy monsters are tiered - technically speaking, there wouldn't be any difficulty in having a wider range of different monsters, but having three dragons that look the same but have different movesets lets you field them all in the same battle without increasing the sprite count that the game has to render. There is a rare battle on Balias Tor, available from the start of chapter 4, which features nine different high-level monsters, usually known in the fandom as the "Super Monster Battle", which is only possible because of this decision, as it features three monster types but with multiple different tiers of each, allowing for a more varied opposition that doesn't overtax the engine.
So... ultimately, it's due to technical limitations, but I think it works fine - it's easier to get attached to the team and have fun tinkering with their builds when you only need to do it for a small group, instead of an army, especially with the level of complexity in customization that FFT allows for.
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- Pronouns
- Him/He
So that's why the first wiegraf fight has a 4 person limit.
Ramza, Delita, Wiegraf, generic, generic, generic, boco and female monk makes eight.
This also means that you get to put more units in if you match the gender and the class, so when there's multiple enemy spellcasters, they're of the same class and gender.
Ramza, Delita, Wiegraf, generic, generic, generic, boco and female monk makes eight.
This also means that you get to put more units in if you match the gender and the class, so when there's multiple enemy spellcasters, they're of the same class and gender.
Egleris
Vagrant Dragon
- Location
- Italy
The limit is nine - you're forgetting that Wiegraf also had a female knight. But yes, that is correct.
Final Fantasy Tactics, Part 16: Side Quests
New
- Location
- Brittany, France
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Hear ye, hear ye! 'Tis the year of our Lord 2024, and it has come to pass that Agrias and Mustadio were allowed - however briefly - out of the Oblivion Pit to which all recruited NPCs must go.
The Story So Far: Ramza Beoulve, renegade scion of the noble House Beoulve, has uncovered a conspiracy by the Church of Glabados to manipulate the events of the war between Dukes Larg and Goltanna, as well as a second, more sinister demonic conspiracy hidden within the first. He now hurries to Fort Besserat in hope of getting the noble and stalwart Count Orlandeau to see the truth and call for peace…
But first it's time to take a bit of a break. A little holiday. Chill out for a bit.
It's time for side quests.
I was surprised initially to learn that "side quests" exist in FFT. So far, the game has been entirely linear; Errands have no impact on the story, and non-random battle occur in a strict succession of one to the other. It turns out, side quests only start in Chapter 4, and finding them requires something a bit unintuitive; you have to not just check out the Rumors tab at the Tavern regularly (which I do after each new plot development), but check it out in specific towns, among other things.
For instance…
I. The Epic of Beowulf
If, for no reason in particular, we head back to the Clockwork City of Goug (Mustadio's hometown, if you'll recall), a cutscene plays out to my great surprise:
Holy shit, Mustadio is back from the No Dialogue Dimension!
It's a very brief scene; Besrudio, his father, is studying an "iron sphere" uncovered under Tunnel 57 of the underground excavation complex under Goug. As they talk, however, the sphere begins to react to something Ramza is carrying - a flurry of sparks, though not much more.
Mustadio: "What just happened?"
Ramza: "Was it reacting to the auracite?"
[Besrudio crouches down to examine the sphere.]
Besrudio: "This is a most peculiar symbol."
The scene ends there - it seems like setup for something later down the line. Hard to know what to make of it at this time, though.
Or, well.
I have an idea. Hear me out.
That's a Saiyan capsule is what it is.
No, look! Metal sphere! Same wavey signs! Circle that could plausibly be an engine! Found buried within the earth?
This is one of the alien pods with which the Lucavi first descended upon Ivalice in time immemorial, is what it is.
Now, let's head back to the Mining Town of Gollund, and check out the Tavern tab. There, we find a Rumor called The Haunted Mine; it appears that monsters have taken up residence in one of Gollund's many coal mines. The government sent out a call for knights to slay the beasts, but most able-bodied men are occupied with the war. There's now an outstanding reward for anyone who can slay the fiends.
From there, we head to Lesalia, the capital, and there a new cutscene plays out.
Tavernmaster: "Good day to you. Might I interest you in a drink?"
Ramza: "Mayhap you might. Have you any milk?"
Tavernmaster: "Ha! I like you already! I've not had a customer order milk before. You've seen your share of battle, have you not? Most men as live that sort of life come wanting spirits."
God the idea of Ramza Beoulve, rogue mercenary noble, veteran of a hundred battles, slayer of two demons from ancient history, who prevailed over multiple veteran warriors and leaders of men, sitting down at the pub and ordering milk is hysterical, perfect absolutely random bit of characterization.
Anyway, while drinking, Ramza overhear conversations surrounding the monsters in the Gollund mind from the Rumor mentioned above; the tavernmaster tells Ramza he looks like the kind who could handle that trouble for some coin and Ramza says he cares not for coin; if he does it, it'd be to help the plight of the people.
One of the patrons then mentions that there is one monster among the lot that no man could best - the Holy Dragon. At this point, Ramza decides to go, and see if the rumor is true.
I like this. "Ramza doesn't care about money but will do it to help the people" is just, like, generically heroic, it's whatever. "Ramza hears about an undefeated dragon no man could beat and decides 'I'll be the judge of that" is more exciting and shows us a kind of reckless, thrill-seeking side of Ramza that he keeps suppressed a lot of the time.
As Ramza leaves the tavern, he is interrupted by a patron who asks if he wouldn't hire him to come along.
This man is called Beowulf, which, I don't know how this fits into my picture of "Beoulve is a deliberate distortion of Beowulf like Wiegraf is of Wiglaf" but it's gotta fit in somewhere, and is also big shoes to fill as far as mythological references go.
Beowulf says he's been pursuing the Holy Dragoon for many years, and his knowledge would surely aid us. We're given a dialogue option to either refuse, or ask his price; asking his price has him tell us we can talk about pay when the job is done, which is not suspicious at all.
When we leave Leselia, the Gollund node is once again red, the "undiscovered" color. Heading over gives us a new prompt:
So.
This sidequest appears to be mostly a thin veneer of narrative over a series of battles; primarily a means of giving the player the opportunity to engage in further curated encounters with a basic story justification. Accordingly, while those encounters are tailor-made in a way random encounters aren't, I'm mostly going to skim over them because doing four battle breakdowns in a row with barely any story content would exhaust me and you both.
But I do need to touch upon this battle a little first. For you see.
Gillian has been swapped over to Black Mage; she's progressed far enough along Mystic that I want to take a break and unlock the job that comes with having a well-rounded basis in all magic jobs, so she'll be doing Black Mage and Time Mage next. She just needs a bit of JP. Should be easy.
Now, you see, the devs have had an incredibly funny idea for this fight. They made an enemy team entirely of Chemists, all of whom are wielding guns. And the form of the battlefield is a pit in the center of which we are, with the Chemists at various heights on all sides.
It's a killbox. Now, that's fine. Running through enemy fire to get to the targets in melee isn't something particularly novel to us. It's not a hard battle.
It's just. The AI has apparently decided to prioritize what it sees as the most vulnerable unit on the battlefield. And that's Gillian.
The ENTIRE BATTLE. TURN AFTER TURN. Is just the enemy TAKING SHOTS AT GILLIAN. They do literally nothing else. Every turn. I have Mustadio toss Phoenix Down at her turn after turn and Gillian spends the entire battle in one single tile, never taking a single action, because they keep killing her every single turn before she can act.
It's absolutely infuriating but also, on some level, extremely funny. Like… Strategically speaking, having one character who just takes endless hits and gets Phoenix Down thrown at her so Ramza, Agrias and Luso (I'm leveling him up a bit as a backup) just go around killing everyone while they do nothing to defend themselves, is good for me, but.
Gillian just got shot fifteen times. Or something, I didn't count. Girl is more bullet than blood at this point. What the fuck.
She comes out of this battle with +0 JP because she has, again, not taken a single action!
Outrageous.
Also, Beowulf is largely useless. His AI seems to be having an off day, so he just kind of putters around the map without ever hitting anything. Don't know what's up with him. At least we get a look at his character sheet, and he's…
…a Templar!? With a "Spellblade" Ability.
Well, okay then. Long as he's the nice kind.
We're then dumped straight into the next battle, which involves Thieves and a couple of Behemoths.
Nothing to say here save that Behemoth suffers from the transition to Tactics sprites - Tactics doesn't seem to have the tech to have units that occupy more than a single tile, so Behemoth has a biggish sprite but still occupies one tile; as a result, one of Final Fantasy's oldest and most iconic endgame monsters, which is normally massively larger than the protagonists, looks like he's about as big as a normal bull. My take here would have been to make Behemoth's sprite take up two tiles, so he's "long," but that would probably have messed with movement and positioning too much. Besides, Behemoth just isn't that strong in this game. There's another nasty surprise in that enemies are now rocking elemental guns that deal ice damage much higher than our currently equipped mythril guns, but this is soon wrapped up.
Third battle features blue dragons and a piggy. Blue dragons can hit pretty hard, so we cull the pack quickly with Holy and disabling move. This battle is mostly notable for me spending half of its runtime trying to chase the Pig around the map with Luso because I want to know if Poaching a Pig is especially rewarding, before realizing at the last minute that Mustadio is down, his death counter is at 0, and killing the Pig with Hester at the last second before I permanently lose Musty. Oops!
And there we reach the deepest level of the mine and our final battle.
The Holy Dragon we've been looking for is down there, surrounded by… The first appearance of Malboros in this game? (They're labeled as Ochu, which are a different kind of plant monster dating back to FF1, but their sprites are clearly modeled after Malboros.) And an Archaeodemon, who is trying to threaten the dragon's life if it won't hand over one of the Zodiac Stones.
Okay, wow! Wasn't expecting one of the Zodiac Stones to be found entirely localized within an optional side quest! That's definitely unexpected. As if the fact that Beowulf wasn't entirely honest with us…
Beowulf: "Reis! At last I've found you! As I live and breathe, I will let no harm befall you!"
Turns out, he'd been looking for that dragon not to slay it, but to protect it. And thus our battle begins - our objective being to "Protect Reis."
Which is, hm, immediately a problem.
The Archaeodemon knows Gigaflare!?
I mean, it only deals 126 damage, so that level of particle effects is entirely excessive, but still. And also all the other monsters immediately gang up on Reis and murder her, and we lose instantly before any of our characters could reach the main melee.
So, not ideal.
The problem is I that, even though the dragon and the enemies are right in front of us, there's a platform that none of my characters can jump, so they have to instead backtrack and take the stars behind them, making it at least two turns before getting to the melee. Thankfully there are ways around this.
Hadrian can move straight ahead and kill one of the little eyeballs instantly, hopefully drawing some aggro away from Reis. And indeed, this happens, in the form of another eyeball using its baleful glare to petrify him. Fortunately, as White Magick still ignores elevation, instead of having Gillian take the long way round I have her hug the platform and cast Esuna, freeing him from his prison of stone. Reis for her part withdraws towards our line, killing an eyeball on her way; the Archaeodemon throws Gigaflare again, dealing… 84 damage to Reis and 63 to Hadrian? What the fuck is going on with Gigaflare in this game, it's weaker than most tier 2 spells!
Now, the Ochus are still hitting Reis hard, so she's severely down on HP. But that was the real purpose of having Hadrian use Ignore Elevation to move up; not his attack power, but his ability to immediately apply an X-Potion to her. Then I have Ramza use his Kiyomori skill to cast Protect and Shell in an AoE, covering himself, Hadrian, Reis, and Mustadio - insane efficiency. From there, it's a matter of only one more turn to have Reis, Ramza and Hadrian finish cleaning out the Ochus and the Demon.
Beowulf: "My thanks, Ramza. I could not have saved Reis without you."
Ramza: "Then we have found the dragon you sought."
Beowulf: "A companion more dear to me than life itself. Mere words can be no fitting thanks."
[He produces a blue stone.]
Beowulf: "And you. You have sought this stone, yes?"
Ramza: "But how-?"
Beowulf: "Let us just say that I have my own debts to settle. As have you."
Ramza: "Who are you?"
Beowulf: "No enemy of yours."
Ramza: "I have enemies enough. I would be glad to count you as a friend. Come. Let us quit these darkened halls."
…
Did we… just rescue his dragon wife?
Unclear. Hopefully we'll find out more eventually.
And that marks a new monster joining our party. I, uh. Accidentally kicked out Boco a while back while I was clearing extra chocobos and not noticing where he was in the turn order. So. Now we have a replacement!
As a Holy Dragon, Reis can use Flame Breath, Ice Breath and Thunder Breath, which are elemental, two-tile attacks like a spear. Its Magic Power is seemingly enormous (32!) but that's because monsters don't have weapons, so their Magic/Physical Power has to do all the work of their Weapon power. I'm kind of lukewarm on it.
Beowulf's class, Templar, has the Spellblade ability, which is like Sword Skills for Mystic Arts: Single target, ranged, no-cast time sword moves that inflict a debuff with a high probability. Which is probably okay, but… I already have Agrias and Gillian, I don't really need Beowulf. And like all other new recruits I would have to train up all his other job abilities from the ground up.
He'll stay on the shelf for now.
Now, let's just head back to Goug, since Mustadio and Besrudio's adventure seem to have (somehow) precipitated this chain of events. And indeed, when we enter the town, we get a cutscene…
Ramza takes up the Aquarius Stone, and inserts it into the sphere.
Remember how one of the very first thing we were told about the Zodiac Stones, long before the Lucavi and demonic possession and wish-granting were on the table, was that ancient machinery under Goug reacted to their presence, and that Ludovich Baert's goal might have been to power up that ancient machinery? It seems quaint now in comparison to the fell powers unleashed upon Ivalice, but it hasn't stopped being true, just overshadowed by later plot developments. The sphere starts to spark with blue lightning, and…
It's a freaking robot.
It stands there, the red-hot glow fading and the smoke blowing away, and stays still until Mustadio says it must no longer be functional, whereupon the the thing immediately shines two red eyes and starts moving and talking.
Automaton: "INITIALIZATION COMPLETE. ALL SYSTEMS NORMAL. WHAT IS YOUR COMMAND, MASTER?"
Mustadio: "By the gods! The machine speaks!"
Automaton: "AWAITING YOUR COMMAND, MASTER."
Mustadio: "Give it a command, Ramza."
Ramza: "M-me? Must I? Mayhap *you* could-"
Mustadio: "What are you talking about? You're the thing's master!"
Automaton: "REPEAT: AWAITING COMMAND."
Ramza: "V-very well. Uhmm… Dance!"
Mustadio: "Oh, for-!"
[The robot begins dancing.]
Ramza being caught completely off guard and seemingly afraid of telling the massive robot anything and Mustadio totally foisting the responsibility of ordering the robot on him, and Ramza going with "dance" is pretty funny in itself - this is the kind of casual funny interactions that we've been missing with every new recruit falling into the Oblivion Hole. But what's even funnier is the next beat:
Mustadio: "I wonder how powerful this thing is."
Automaton: "I AM VERY STRONG."
Ramza: "Well, then…" [He points to Mustadio] "Dispose of Mustadio!"
Mustadio: "Oh, for-!"
I can't believe Mustadio is fucking dead.
God Ramza actually finding it in him thirty hours into the game to try to make a joke and then instantly getting hit with payback when the robot obliterates Mustadio is so fucking funny. Mustadio just catching strays out of nowhere, this is the character interaction we've been missing this whole time.
God, fuck me, they mirrored it so you might not immediately notice the reference, but he's specifically doing the Yamcha death pose.
They assigned Yamcha to Mustadio. Hysterical.
Anyway, the cutscene ends there, and we've been joined by a new "monster" unit, Construct 8, whose "job" is Automaton. Like most monsters it can't learn new abilities, equip gear, or change jobs; it also has a few special traits, like an innate ignore weather and ignore terrain, a series of special attacks called Tasks, oh, and, it has Faith 00. It's a robot. It cannot know the face of God, and is therefore immune to all magic.
Absolutely wild. Will we get any use out of it? I mean, we've already gained three new party members since starting this update, so I genuinely don't know!
And that concludes the adventure of the Haunted Mine. Three new recruits, a bit more lore, and oh yeah also the Aquarius Stone, just hanging out there in an optional quest and immediately used to power up an ancient robot. Wild. Overall? I didn't mind it, the battles were interesting, but it was a very mechanics-forward adventure. I don't know if I'll do anything with the new units, but I appreciate their existence.
II. Birthday Girl
So, here's something to think about.
Characters in Tactics have astrological signs, right? And each sign corresponds to a range of dates. That means every character has a birthday - we're asked to pick Ramza's birthday at the start of the game, after all. And since the game keeps track of the date and displays it prominently in a corner of the world map, that means it would, potentially, be possible to connect an in-game event to a specific date such as a character's birthday.
Not Ramza's, though.
Instead, there is one day - one day out of the entire year, as far as I'm aware - where, if we enter a town node on that day, we trigger a specific cutscene. But wait, that's not enough!
We also need to have 500,000 gil stored. That's an amount I was barely able to scrape up by knowing I needed to meet that threshold and not spending cash on Bracers or other expensive items. Then I had to wait for the month of Gemini to reach its end, and hit the two-town node of Gollund and Lesalia so I could ensure I'd be on a town node when we reach 1 Cancer.
This is our reward.
Ramza and Mustadio walk into a tavern, where it turns out that Agrias is already there, sitting by herself in a corner.
(Interestingly the implication of this couple of Tavern scenes is that, whenever our party is into town, they tend to scatter and attend the various watering holes and catering establishments around town, rather than stay together as a group; maybe that's why we keep only having four units with us every time we walk into an ambush!)
Upon seeing Agrias, Mustadio takes a few steps back with visible hesitation, like he's afraid of being seen, and Ramza pokes him about something they've clearly been planning ahead.
Ramza: "Well? Do you intend to give it to her or not?"
Ramza: "Give… what? To whom? I've… I've no idea what you-"
Ramza: "Mustadio!"
[Mustadio looks down, then looks up to find some resolve, then assumes Aim's "bracing/charging" stance.]
Mustadio: "All right, all right…"
[He walks up to Agrias's table.]
Mustadio: "Ah, Agrias! I, ah, I hope this is n-not… not a bad time."
Agrias: "Hmm? Is something the matter?"
The terror.
Mustadio: "N-no, it's just, I - here!"
[He produces a bow-wrapped gift box and puts it on Agrias's table."
Agrias: "What's this?"
Mustadio: "It's a, ah… um - a present! I heard today was your birthday, so I, well…"
Agrias: "Today *is* my birthday, isn't it? I'd near forgotten. Who told you? Lavian? Alicia? Those two cannot still their tongues, can they?"
Mustadio: "Um… anyway, I, ah, wanted to… to give you this. It isn't much."
Agrias: "May I open it?"
Mustadio: "Ah, yes, of course!"
[Agrias unwraps the gift.]
Agrias: "Lip rouge?"
Mustadio: "Yes. Y-you're always busy fighting, and… and… Well, I know you've probably small time for such womanly things, but… I thought m-mayhap you might like to have that."
Agrias: [She looks at him.] "I've small time, yes, but I chose this life for myself. It's not as though I regret it. Still, there are times… Are you sure it's all right for me to have this?"
Mustadio: "Of course! Why do you ask?"
Agrias: "It cost a goodly amount, did it not? Surely a gift like this is wasted on a knight such as I?"
Mustadio: "No, not at all! Please, accept it!"
Agrias: "Very well, then."
[She puts on the lipstick.]
Mustadio: "Oh!"
Man's about to drop dead in five seconds.
Agrias: "Well?"
Mustadio: "..."
Agrias: "Do I look odd?"
Mustadio: "Wh-what? N-no! You look wonderful! Truly… truly so!"
Agrias: "Thank you, Mustadio. I will treasure it, as I do our friendship."
[End cutscene; Mustadio presumably dies of a heart attack off-screen thirty seconds after leaving the tavern.]
Hilarious.
Mustadio just, absolutely stammering his way through this incredibly straightforward social interaction because of his incredibly obvious crush on Agrias before she puts on the 50,000 gil lipstick in front of him and nearly kills him on the spot is high tier material. For the record Mustadio is 21* and this is Agrias's 25th* birthday, so our boy is fully in his "I want an older woman who can kill me" era. And who wouldn't?
*Ages obviously depend on time passed in-game; if we stick to "three months + an indeterminate number of weeks since the start of Chapter 2" then he's somewhere around 17 to 18 and Agrias is 20 to 21.
I have complicated feelings on this scene, because on the one hand, yes, this is what we needed more of: The named characters in the party just hanging out, having normal human interactions, developing relationships, small anxieties and crushes, Ramza being a wingman, Agrias talking a little about her views on her life as a Knight who's never had time for traditional feminine pursuit and doesn't mind that but would like to indulge a little sometimes… Just a cast of characters being people. It's a dimension of the story that's been entirely absent previously.
On the other hand, this is Agrias's first dialogue since the Golgolanna Gallows. This is, as far as I can recall, Agrias and Mustadio's only interaction with one another ever. And we're getting this instead of any exploration of Agrias's feelings towards Ovelia's current situation or her own faith following the Scriptures of Germonique. We need this kind of scene (as we do Ramza joking around and comically nearly getting Mustadio killed), but we also need the latter, which we haven't gotten, and in the latter's absence the former feels like it's centering the wrong things.
But I like it a lot, as a scene. I don't mind the gendered angle because it centers Agrias's feelings as "I have no regrets about being a knight, though it would be nice to do girly things sometimes, I just don't really have time for it," rather than some weepy "all the things I've missed" sexist beat. And also because Mustadio is the one getting subjected to an emotional rollercoaster the entire time. I find it funny that Agrias's last line about "treasuring our friendship" can be equally read as her being oblivious to Mustadio's crush and the romantic motivation behind his gift, or her just totally shutting him down (probably because he's too young).
And yes, the lipstick does come out of our war chest. You need 500k to access this scene, and you end it with 50k taken from the party funds. Which I don't mind, because, huh…
"Magickal lip rouge from the popular Feyforge brand. It is a limited-edition product, making it difficult for even the reachest noblewomen to obtain."
Remember how I wow'd over the Bracer and its +3 Physical Attack bonus? Yeah, Agrias's new lipstick grants +3 PA, +3 MA, boosts Holy Damage, and grants Protect, Shell, and Haste while equipped.
Genuinely absolutely insane. The strongest item we've found so far and I am going to wager a stronger frontrunner for strongest item in the game even later on.
If only I could find a way to make Agrias's Sword Skills Holy-elemental instead of "oh whoops we forgot we didn't code it that way" elemental… Maybe there's a Holy-elemental sword in the late game? That would cause her Sword Skills to become Holy. Will be worth keeping an eye out for.
Anyway this probably makes Agrias our strongest unit now. I'm… Going to try not to think about what would happen if I gave that thing to Hester, who is already one of my top two sweepers. Jesus Christ.
But I can't disrespect Mustadio's gift like this.
Anyway the real sexism in this scene is the lipstick being female-only meaning Ramza "I have both male and female stat growths" Beoulve can't live out their dreams of being an ambiguously gendered twink-
III. Sky Pirate Down
First, we head back to Leselia, where we check the Rumors tab.
Rash of Thefts: "Clergymen from all over Ivalice have been reporting thefts as of late. All of the items stolen have been jewels in the care of religious institutions, leading the Church of Glabados to conclude that the crimes are the work of heretics or other enemies of the Church. Anticipating further incidents, it has warned its members to exercise particular vigilance."
From this, we are then supposed to head to Dorter, aaaaand… cutscene!
Ramza is walking through the Dorter slums, musing to himself about news of these religious thefts.
Ramza: "A godless thief with designs upon the Church vaults. Could it be he seeks the Stones? The road to the auracite is barred by Templar swords. But it is the same road that leads to Alma. I will walk whatever road I must to set you free."
As Ramza walks through the slum, we see rogues hiding behind pillars and rubble, daggers in hand, watching him - but as they pounce, it becomes clear that Ramza walked into this trap on purpose, and he draws his sword to counter an attack from three enemies at once!
Cutscene Ramza is a badass, but it does have to feel a little weird if you have him maining Black Mage or something.
As Ramza crosses blades with his assaillants, they realize they have the wrong man - they were looking for the thief at large, but they recognize Ramza as being a different person… But still a wanted heretic worth a tidy sum; they double the attack, taking Ramza off-guard, only for a gunshot to ring out and one of the assaillants to fall down.
Then, before we can even fully see the new arrival, we are greeted by the smooth accents of FF7R!Briggs/ARR!Urianger.
Newcomer: "Your mistakes were twofold, I'm afraid. You sprung your trap without looking to see if the game you hunted was the one you'd snare. And you sold me short. I'm no thief."
Newcomer: "I'm a sky pirate."
What the fuck do you mean "sky pirate" there hasn't been a functioning airship in this setting in two thousand years-
Oh fuck, he might actually be cool.
The new guy asks everyone about the location of the "Cache of Glabados"; Ramza has no idea what he's talking about and the bounty hunters don't care, focusing instead on the fact that two heretics instead of one might be the score of their life.
Newcomer: "Oh, you'll have your reward for finding me. And don't think about running off without collecting. My shot is faster. Or my name's not Balthier."
This guy transpires "crossover character added to WotL" energy, but unlike Luso, he is actually legitimately cool???
Cue battle screen.
Oh, uh, sorry Luso, I forgot you were there.
Balthier: "They've numbers, if nothing else. Perhaps a brief alliance is in order? One hand washes the other and all that."
Ramza: "I'll certainly not object!"
Alright, we're fighting with a limited roster of four characters + Guest Character Balthier, with Ramza starting the fight exposed out in the open due to the narrative of the cutscene putting him surrounded by enemies. Our opposition is one White Mage, three Archers, one Thief, one Monk; leaning heavily on ranged power, it seems. Things kick off strong; Balthier moves up to that same "hill" that gave us so much trouble back during the first Dorter Slum battle at the start of the game and hits with a strong 144 damage gun attack, then Agrias moves up and obliterates an Archer with a single Hallowed Bolt for 289 damage. Then it's the Thief's turn…
Who moves up in front of Ramza and steals his 50k gil Bracer that he just got transferred to him after Agrias got the lipstick.
…
With Hester and Hadrian in the party, our lineup focuses on immediate, far-reaching aggression just in case we need to obliterate one specific enemy unit before it can act for no reason in particular. Their movement range isn't quite far enough though, so I have Hester kill the Archer first. The Thief goes, and uses Steal Heart on Hester, Charming one of my most powerful units.
No matter. I have Hadrian use Jump on Hester, dealing heavy damage but knocking her out of her trance and triggering Dragonheart, applying Reraise to herself. Before the Thief gets a chance to act again…
…she whiffs her first of two attacks, failing to score lethal with her second blow.
NO MATTER. A Shout-boosted Ramza immediately finishes off the dastardly scoundrel, while other on the rooftops, Balthier plinks off the enemy WHM with his gun, ensuring no support for the enemy team.
The Monk and Archers then identify Hester as a major threat and take her down with combined attacks, before taking shots at Gillian who's slowly advancing while casting White Magick spells to support allies. Joke's on them.
Hester's Reraise kicks in, she jumps up onto the crates behind the two enemy Archers and immediately kills one. Ramza quickly follows, hopping up and taking down the remaining Archer in a single hit.
Hadrian and Balthier take turn harassing the enemy Monk, who is brought into critical and attempts to escape; his Chakra ability allows him to heal damage while doing so, so he's trying to put distance between him and the two long-range attackers that are the Dragoon and the Sky Pirate…
…which brings him right into Hester's arm, ending the fight in one double blow.
A swift and decisive victory. The sheer damage that I'm starting to accrue from Attack Boost Ninja, Ramza's Shout-enhanced Doublehand attacks, and (in another version of this battle) Agrias's lipstick-powered attacks (okay so maybe that bit is a little problematic), is becoming absolutely ridiculous.
Post-battle conversation.
Balthier: "Such a warm welcome. I see my reputation precedes me."
Ramza: "You are branded a heretic as well?"
Balthier: "Religion and I don't mix, I'm afraid. *sigh* Another false lead."
Ramza: "Why do you seek this… Cache of Glabados?"
Balthier: "Women, treasure - does a man need reason to pursue beauty?"
Ramza: "The Church's treasure - it is not the prize you think it."
Balthier: "Then you know it?"
Ramza: "No, it's only - you're better off not searching. The road is fraught with danger you cannot know."
Balthier: "Who do you think you're talking to? The leading man never balks at a little danger. Though this does have more the feel of a cameo role… Nonetheless, I have my reasons for seeking that particular treasure. I found it once - laid my hands on it, and look where it got me. If I find it again, I can put things back as they were. And since you know something of it, you've gained yourself another travelling companion."
Ramza: "Oh?"
Balthier: "Not to worry, I have some experience in the chaperoning of children."
[Ramza turns around to leave; Balthier follows; Ramza turns back around.]
Ramza: "I'm no child!"
Balthier: "Yes, they all say that, don't they?"
Ramza: "And *you* say you are a sky pirate. Would you have me believe you can fly? I see no wings."
[He turns around again, and leaves the screen.]
Balthier: "I seem to always find myself a pirate without a sky. At this rate, I'm like to forget how to fly altogether."
Oh my god.
Ramza is 21 years old.
(Okay I guess realistically he's like, 18; it's hard to tell exactly how much time has passed within the narrative as such as opposed to the in-game timer, but the Chronicle screen does inform us that Ramza is in fact 21.)
In case it wasn't already obvious that Balthier comes from another FF game, his personal introduction is very similar to Luso: Coyly allude to having his own story and goals going that he's put on hold to take part in this crossover, while remaining vague enough about what these goals are so we don't mistakenly think they'll play an important part in this story. I did chortle at the "wait, I feel like I'm a cameo player in this one" meta joke. Very strange decision to choose a "sky pirate" to crossover into a game where airships are a lost technology of the Ancients, though.
Hmm. Every FF game since the very beginning has had an airship, but of course FFT is not a normal FF game. Still, unlocking the airship as a "teleport to any node without risking random encounters in-between" late-game unlock would be really nice… It just might also be out of genre. But now that I've thought about it I'm kind of hoping for it, ngl.
Alright, let's check out Balthier as a playable character. As usual for named units, his Sky Pirate job replaces Squire, and is identical except for its Command Ability, which replaces Fundaments with "Piracy." What does Piracy look like?
…
Mother of-
It's the complete Machinist command list with the complete Thief command list stapled to it, with an exclusive "Barrage" skill which is the Ranger's Rapid Fire from FFV that hits four times for half damage each time.
And he starts at lv 35. And he has base Speed 10, two higher than Mustadio, the same Speed as Hester, our Ninja.
We have just found Mustadio 2.0. We have unlocked Better Mustadio: The Mustadio That Fucks. Our boy is in absolute shambles.
I literally cannot find a justification to keep Mustadio on rather than replace him with Balthier other than personal affection for the guy and the fact that I spent a lot of time teaching him all the Chemist commands (but also he has now fully mastered Chemist and I have no idea where to go with him next).
Devastating follow up to Agrias's Birthday.
Alright, well, that will do it for today I think. We took a bit of a break from the plot to explore what side quests the game has to offer, and I think that was what I needed. A momentary respite from the Oblivion Hole for at least our two oldest named party members, however brief. Plus some fun custom maps, more new guest characters than we can actually use, and some cool powerful gear.
We now have:
Beowulf, the Templar
Reis, the Holy Dragon
Construct 8, the Automaton
Balthier, the Sky Pirate
Will any of these join us in our adventures on a permanent basis? Maybe Balthier.
For now, taking a brief look at my party roster… Hadrian has fully mastered Dragoon and has the few Item commands I care about for him (X-Potion, Phoenix Down, Hi-Ether, Remedy soon), Mustadio has fully mastered Chemist and I'm not sure where to take him next, Agrias entered Geomancer and is soon to unlock Attack Boost after which I'm not sure but I might have her go back to Monk for the general utility of Martial Arts (unless we head for Samurai and give her Doublehand as well? Seems greedy), Ramza is just plodding along the Samurai life while I get anxious about his permanent stat growth, Gillian's just eking towards BLM 5 at which point I'll have her swap to Time Mage… That's it for now.
Food for thought.
Thank you for reading.
Next Time: To Fort Besserat!
Main Story Battle Count: 37
Side Quest Battle Count: 5
Random battle count: 57
The Story So Far: Ramza Beoulve, renegade scion of the noble House Beoulve, has uncovered a conspiracy by the Church of Glabados to manipulate the events of the war between Dukes Larg and Goltanna, as well as a second, more sinister demonic conspiracy hidden within the first. He now hurries to Fort Besserat in hope of getting the noble and stalwart Count Orlandeau to see the truth and call for peace…
But first it's time to take a bit of a break. A little holiday. Chill out for a bit.
It's time for side quests.
I was surprised initially to learn that "side quests" exist in FFT. So far, the game has been entirely linear; Errands have no impact on the story, and non-random battle occur in a strict succession of one to the other. It turns out, side quests only start in Chapter 4, and finding them requires something a bit unintuitive; you have to not just check out the Rumors tab at the Tavern regularly (which I do after each new plot development), but check it out in specific towns, among other things.
For instance…
I. The Epic of Beowulf
If, for no reason in particular, we head back to the Clockwork City of Goug (Mustadio's hometown, if you'll recall), a cutscene plays out to my great surprise:
Holy shit, Mustadio is back from the No Dialogue Dimension!
It's a very brief scene; Besrudio, his father, is studying an "iron sphere" uncovered under Tunnel 57 of the underground excavation complex under Goug. As they talk, however, the sphere begins to react to something Ramza is carrying - a flurry of sparks, though not much more.
Mustadio: "What just happened?"
Ramza: "Was it reacting to the auracite?"
[Besrudio crouches down to examine the sphere.]
Besrudio: "This is a most peculiar symbol."
The scene ends there - it seems like setup for something later down the line. Hard to know what to make of it at this time, though.
Or, well.
I have an idea. Hear me out.
That's a Saiyan capsule is what it is.
No, look! Metal sphere! Same wavey signs! Circle that could plausibly be an engine! Found buried within the earth?
This is one of the alien pods with which the Lucavi first descended upon Ivalice in time immemorial, is what it is.
Now, let's head back to the Mining Town of Gollund, and check out the Tavern tab. There, we find a Rumor called The Haunted Mine; it appears that monsters have taken up residence in one of Gollund's many coal mines. The government sent out a call for knights to slay the beasts, but most able-bodied men are occupied with the war. There's now an outstanding reward for anyone who can slay the fiends.
From there, we head to Lesalia, the capital, and there a new cutscene plays out.
Tavernmaster: "Good day to you. Might I interest you in a drink?"
Ramza: "Mayhap you might. Have you any milk?"
Tavernmaster: "Ha! I like you already! I've not had a customer order milk before. You've seen your share of battle, have you not? Most men as live that sort of life come wanting spirits."
God the idea of Ramza Beoulve, rogue mercenary noble, veteran of a hundred battles, slayer of two demons from ancient history, who prevailed over multiple veteran warriors and leaders of men, sitting down at the pub and ordering milk is hysterical, perfect absolutely random bit of characterization.
Anyway, while drinking, Ramza overhear conversations surrounding the monsters in the Gollund mind from the Rumor mentioned above; the tavernmaster tells Ramza he looks like the kind who could handle that trouble for some coin and Ramza says he cares not for coin; if he does it, it'd be to help the plight of the people.
One of the patrons then mentions that there is one monster among the lot that no man could best - the Holy Dragon. At this point, Ramza decides to go, and see if the rumor is true.
I like this. "Ramza doesn't care about money but will do it to help the people" is just, like, generically heroic, it's whatever. "Ramza hears about an undefeated dragon no man could beat and decides 'I'll be the judge of that" is more exciting and shows us a kind of reckless, thrill-seeking side of Ramza that he keeps suppressed a lot of the time.
As Ramza leaves the tavern, he is interrupted by a patron who asks if he wouldn't hire him to come along.
This man is called Beowulf, which, I don't know how this fits into my picture of "Beoulve is a deliberate distortion of Beowulf like Wiegraf is of Wiglaf" but it's gotta fit in somewhere, and is also big shoes to fill as far as mythological references go.
Beowulf says he's been pursuing the Holy Dragoon for many years, and his knowledge would surely aid us. We're given a dialogue option to either refuse, or ask his price; asking his price has him tell us we can talk about pay when the job is done, which is not suspicious at all.
When we leave Leselia, the Gollund node is once again red, the "undiscovered" color. Heading over gives us a new prompt:
So.
This sidequest appears to be mostly a thin veneer of narrative over a series of battles; primarily a means of giving the player the opportunity to engage in further curated encounters with a basic story justification. Accordingly, while those encounters are tailor-made in a way random encounters aren't, I'm mostly going to skim over them because doing four battle breakdowns in a row with barely any story content would exhaust me and you both.
But I do need to touch upon this battle a little first. For you see.
Gillian has been swapped over to Black Mage; she's progressed far enough along Mystic that I want to take a break and unlock the job that comes with having a well-rounded basis in all magic jobs, so she'll be doing Black Mage and Time Mage next. She just needs a bit of JP. Should be easy.
Now, you see, the devs have had an incredibly funny idea for this fight. They made an enemy team entirely of Chemists, all of whom are wielding guns. And the form of the battlefield is a pit in the center of which we are, with the Chemists at various heights on all sides.
It's a killbox. Now, that's fine. Running through enemy fire to get to the targets in melee isn't something particularly novel to us. It's not a hard battle.
It's just. The AI has apparently decided to prioritize what it sees as the most vulnerable unit on the battlefield. And that's Gillian.
The ENTIRE BATTLE. TURN AFTER TURN. Is just the enemy TAKING SHOTS AT GILLIAN. They do literally nothing else. Every turn. I have Mustadio toss Phoenix Down at her turn after turn and Gillian spends the entire battle in one single tile, never taking a single action, because they keep killing her every single turn before she can act.
It's absolutely infuriating but also, on some level, extremely funny. Like… Strategically speaking, having one character who just takes endless hits and gets Phoenix Down thrown at her so Ramza, Agrias and Luso (I'm leveling him up a bit as a backup) just go around killing everyone while they do nothing to defend themselves, is good for me, but.
Gillian just got shot fifteen times. Or something, I didn't count. Girl is more bullet than blood at this point. What the fuck.
She comes out of this battle with +0 JP because she has, again, not taken a single action!
Outrageous.
Also, Beowulf is largely useless. His AI seems to be having an off day, so he just kind of putters around the map without ever hitting anything. Don't know what's up with him. At least we get a look at his character sheet, and he's…
…a Templar!? With a "Spellblade" Ability.
Well, okay then. Long as he's the nice kind.
We're then dumped straight into the next battle, which involves Thieves and a couple of Behemoths.
Nothing to say here save that Behemoth suffers from the transition to Tactics sprites - Tactics doesn't seem to have the tech to have units that occupy more than a single tile, so Behemoth has a biggish sprite but still occupies one tile; as a result, one of Final Fantasy's oldest and most iconic endgame monsters, which is normally massively larger than the protagonists, looks like he's about as big as a normal bull. My take here would have been to make Behemoth's sprite take up two tiles, so he's "long," but that would probably have messed with movement and positioning too much. Besides, Behemoth just isn't that strong in this game. There's another nasty surprise in that enemies are now rocking elemental guns that deal ice damage much higher than our currently equipped mythril guns, but this is soon wrapped up.
Third battle features blue dragons and a piggy. Blue dragons can hit pretty hard, so we cull the pack quickly with Holy and disabling move. This battle is mostly notable for me spending half of its runtime trying to chase the Pig around the map with Luso because I want to know if Poaching a Pig is especially rewarding, before realizing at the last minute that Mustadio is down, his death counter is at 0, and killing the Pig with Hester at the last second before I permanently lose Musty. Oops!
And there we reach the deepest level of the mine and our final battle.
The Holy Dragon we've been looking for is down there, surrounded by… The first appearance of Malboros in this game? (They're labeled as Ochu, which are a different kind of plant monster dating back to FF1, but their sprites are clearly modeled after Malboros.) And an Archaeodemon, who is trying to threaten the dragon's life if it won't hand over one of the Zodiac Stones.
Okay, wow! Wasn't expecting one of the Zodiac Stones to be found entirely localized within an optional side quest! That's definitely unexpected. As if the fact that Beowulf wasn't entirely honest with us…
Beowulf: "Reis! At last I've found you! As I live and breathe, I will let no harm befall you!"
Turns out, he'd been looking for that dragon not to slay it, but to protect it. And thus our battle begins - our objective being to "Protect Reis."
Which is, hm, immediately a problem.
I mean, it only deals 126 damage, so that level of particle effects is entirely excessive, but still. And also all the other monsters immediately gang up on Reis and murder her, and we lose instantly before any of our characters could reach the main melee.
So, not ideal.
The problem is I that, even though the dragon and the enemies are right in front of us, there's a platform that none of my characters can jump, so they have to instead backtrack and take the stars behind them, making it at least two turns before getting to the melee. Thankfully there are ways around this.
Hadrian can move straight ahead and kill one of the little eyeballs instantly, hopefully drawing some aggro away from Reis. And indeed, this happens, in the form of another eyeball using its baleful glare to petrify him. Fortunately, as White Magick still ignores elevation, instead of having Gillian take the long way round I have her hug the platform and cast Esuna, freeing him from his prison of stone. Reis for her part withdraws towards our line, killing an eyeball on her way; the Archaeodemon throws Gigaflare again, dealing… 84 damage to Reis and 63 to Hadrian? What the fuck is going on with Gigaflare in this game, it's weaker than most tier 2 spells!
Now, the Ochus are still hitting Reis hard, so she's severely down on HP. But that was the real purpose of having Hadrian use Ignore Elevation to move up; not his attack power, but his ability to immediately apply an X-Potion to her. Then I have Ramza use his Kiyomori skill to cast Protect and Shell in an AoE, covering himself, Hadrian, Reis, and Mustadio - insane efficiency. From there, it's a matter of only one more turn to have Reis, Ramza and Hadrian finish cleaning out the Ochus and the Demon.
Beowulf: "My thanks, Ramza. I could not have saved Reis without you."
Ramza: "Then we have found the dragon you sought."
Beowulf: "A companion more dear to me than life itself. Mere words can be no fitting thanks."
[He produces a blue stone.]
Beowulf: "And you. You have sought this stone, yes?"
Ramza: "But how-?"
Beowulf: "Let us just say that I have my own debts to settle. As have you."
Ramza: "Who are you?"
Beowulf: "No enemy of yours."
Ramza: "I have enemies enough. I would be glad to count you as a friend. Come. Let us quit these darkened halls."
…
Did we… just rescue his dragon wife?
Unclear. Hopefully we'll find out more eventually.
And that marks a new monster joining our party. I, uh. Accidentally kicked out Boco a while back while I was clearing extra chocobos and not noticing where he was in the turn order. So. Now we have a replacement!
As a Holy Dragon, Reis can use Flame Breath, Ice Breath and Thunder Breath, which are elemental, two-tile attacks like a spear. Its Magic Power is seemingly enormous (32!) but that's because monsters don't have weapons, so their Magic/Physical Power has to do all the work of their Weapon power. I'm kind of lukewarm on it.
Beowulf's class, Templar, has the Spellblade ability, which is like Sword Skills for Mystic Arts: Single target, ranged, no-cast time sword moves that inflict a debuff with a high probability. Which is probably okay, but… I already have Agrias and Gillian, I don't really need Beowulf. And like all other new recruits I would have to train up all his other job abilities from the ground up.
He'll stay on the shelf for now.
Now, let's just head back to Goug, since Mustadio and Besrudio's adventure seem to have (somehow) precipitated this chain of events. And indeed, when we enter the town, we get a cutscene…
Ramza takes up the Aquarius Stone, and inserts it into the sphere.
Remember how one of the very first thing we were told about the Zodiac Stones, long before the Lucavi and demonic possession and wish-granting were on the table, was that ancient machinery under Goug reacted to their presence, and that Ludovich Baert's goal might have been to power up that ancient machinery? It seems quaint now in comparison to the fell powers unleashed upon Ivalice, but it hasn't stopped being true, just overshadowed by later plot developments. The sphere starts to spark with blue lightning, and…
It's a freaking robot.
It stands there, the red-hot glow fading and the smoke blowing away, and stays still until Mustadio says it must no longer be functional, whereupon the the thing immediately shines two red eyes and starts moving and talking.
Automaton: "INITIALIZATION COMPLETE. ALL SYSTEMS NORMAL. WHAT IS YOUR COMMAND, MASTER?"
Mustadio: "By the gods! The machine speaks!"
Automaton: "AWAITING YOUR COMMAND, MASTER."
Mustadio: "Give it a command, Ramza."
Ramza: "M-me? Must I? Mayhap *you* could-"
Mustadio: "What are you talking about? You're the thing's master!"
Automaton: "REPEAT: AWAITING COMMAND."
Ramza: "V-very well. Uhmm… Dance!"
Mustadio: "Oh, for-!"
[The robot begins dancing.]
Ramza being caught completely off guard and seemingly afraid of telling the massive robot anything and Mustadio totally foisting the responsibility of ordering the robot on him, and Ramza going with "dance" is pretty funny in itself - this is the kind of casual funny interactions that we've been missing with every new recruit falling into the Oblivion Hole. But what's even funnier is the next beat:
Mustadio: "I wonder how powerful this thing is."
Automaton: "I AM VERY STRONG."
Ramza: "Well, then…" [He points to Mustadio] "Dispose of Mustadio!"
Mustadio: "Oh, for-!"
I can't believe Mustadio is fucking dead.
God Ramza actually finding it in him thirty hours into the game to try to make a joke and then instantly getting hit with payback when the robot obliterates Mustadio is so fucking funny. Mustadio just catching strays out of nowhere, this is the character interaction we've been missing this whole time.
God, fuck me, they mirrored it so you might not immediately notice the reference, but he's specifically doing the Yamcha death pose.
They assigned Yamcha to Mustadio. Hysterical.
Anyway, the cutscene ends there, and we've been joined by a new "monster" unit, Construct 8, whose "job" is Automaton. Like most monsters it can't learn new abilities, equip gear, or change jobs; it also has a few special traits, like an innate ignore weather and ignore terrain, a series of special attacks called Tasks, oh, and, it has Faith 00. It's a robot. It cannot know the face of God, and is therefore immune to all magic.
Absolutely wild. Will we get any use out of it? I mean, we've already gained three new party members since starting this update, so I genuinely don't know!
And that concludes the adventure of the Haunted Mine. Three new recruits, a bit more lore, and oh yeah also the Aquarius Stone, just hanging out there in an optional quest and immediately used to power up an ancient robot. Wild. Overall? I didn't mind it, the battles were interesting, but it was a very mechanics-forward adventure. I don't know if I'll do anything with the new units, but I appreciate their existence.
II. Birthday Girl
So, here's something to think about.
Characters in Tactics have astrological signs, right? And each sign corresponds to a range of dates. That means every character has a birthday - we're asked to pick Ramza's birthday at the start of the game, after all. And since the game keeps track of the date and displays it prominently in a corner of the world map, that means it would, potentially, be possible to connect an in-game event to a specific date such as a character's birthday.
Not Ramza's, though.
Instead, there is one day - one day out of the entire year, as far as I'm aware - where, if we enter a town node on that day, we trigger a specific cutscene. But wait, that's not enough!
We also need to have 500,000 gil stored. That's an amount I was barely able to scrape up by knowing I needed to meet that threshold and not spending cash on Bracers or other expensive items. Then I had to wait for the month of Gemini to reach its end, and hit the two-town node of Gollund and Lesalia so I could ensure I'd be on a town node when we reach 1 Cancer.
This is our reward.
Ramza and Mustadio walk into a tavern, where it turns out that Agrias is already there, sitting by herself in a corner.
(Interestingly the implication of this couple of Tavern scenes is that, whenever our party is into town, they tend to scatter and attend the various watering holes and catering establishments around town, rather than stay together as a group; maybe that's why we keep only having four units with us every time we walk into an ambush!)
Upon seeing Agrias, Mustadio takes a few steps back with visible hesitation, like he's afraid of being seen, and Ramza pokes him about something they've clearly been planning ahead.
Ramza: "Well? Do you intend to give it to her or not?"
Ramza: "Give… what? To whom? I've… I've no idea what you-"
Ramza: "Mustadio!"
[Mustadio looks down, then looks up to find some resolve, then assumes Aim's "bracing/charging" stance.]
Mustadio: "All right, all right…"
[He walks up to Agrias's table.]
Mustadio: "Ah, Agrias! I, ah, I hope this is n-not… not a bad time."
Agrias: "Hmm? Is something the matter?"
The terror.
Mustadio: "N-no, it's just, I - here!"
[He produces a bow-wrapped gift box and puts it on Agrias's table."
Agrias: "What's this?"
Mustadio: "It's a, ah… um - a present! I heard today was your birthday, so I, well…"
Agrias: "Today *is* my birthday, isn't it? I'd near forgotten. Who told you? Lavian? Alicia? Those two cannot still their tongues, can they?"
Mustadio: "Um… anyway, I, ah, wanted to… to give you this. It isn't much."
Agrias: "May I open it?"
Mustadio: "Ah, yes, of course!"
[Agrias unwraps the gift.]
Agrias: "Lip rouge?"
Mustadio: "Yes. Y-you're always busy fighting, and… and… Well, I know you've probably small time for such womanly things, but… I thought m-mayhap you might like to have that."
Agrias: [She looks at him.] "I've small time, yes, but I chose this life for myself. It's not as though I regret it. Still, there are times… Are you sure it's all right for me to have this?"
Mustadio: "Of course! Why do you ask?"
Agrias: "It cost a goodly amount, did it not? Surely a gift like this is wasted on a knight such as I?"
Mustadio: "No, not at all! Please, accept it!"
Agrias: "Very well, then."
[She puts on the lipstick.]
Mustadio: "Oh!"
Man's about to drop dead in five seconds.
Agrias: "Well?"
Mustadio: "..."
Agrias: "Do I look odd?"
Mustadio: "Wh-what? N-no! You look wonderful! Truly… truly so!"
Agrias: "Thank you, Mustadio. I will treasure it, as I do our friendship."
[End cutscene; Mustadio presumably dies of a heart attack off-screen thirty seconds after leaving the tavern.]
Hilarious.
Mustadio just, absolutely stammering his way through this incredibly straightforward social interaction because of his incredibly obvious crush on Agrias before she puts on the 50,000 gil lipstick in front of him and nearly kills him on the spot is high tier material. For the record Mustadio is 21* and this is Agrias's 25th* birthday, so our boy is fully in his "I want an older woman who can kill me" era. And who wouldn't?
*Ages obviously depend on time passed in-game; if we stick to "three months + an indeterminate number of weeks since the start of Chapter 2" then he's somewhere around 17 to 18 and Agrias is 20 to 21.
I have complicated feelings on this scene, because on the one hand, yes, this is what we needed more of: The named characters in the party just hanging out, having normal human interactions, developing relationships, small anxieties and crushes, Ramza being a wingman, Agrias talking a little about her views on her life as a Knight who's never had time for traditional feminine pursuit and doesn't mind that but would like to indulge a little sometimes… Just a cast of characters being people. It's a dimension of the story that's been entirely absent previously.
On the other hand, this is Agrias's first dialogue since the Golgolanna Gallows. This is, as far as I can recall, Agrias and Mustadio's only interaction with one another ever. And we're getting this instead of any exploration of Agrias's feelings towards Ovelia's current situation or her own faith following the Scriptures of Germonique. We need this kind of scene (as we do Ramza joking around and comically nearly getting Mustadio killed), but we also need the latter, which we haven't gotten, and in the latter's absence the former feels like it's centering the wrong things.
But I like it a lot, as a scene. I don't mind the gendered angle because it centers Agrias's feelings as "I have no regrets about being a knight, though it would be nice to do girly things sometimes, I just don't really have time for it," rather than some weepy "all the things I've missed" sexist beat. And also because Mustadio is the one getting subjected to an emotional rollercoaster the entire time. I find it funny that Agrias's last line about "treasuring our friendship" can be equally read as her being oblivious to Mustadio's crush and the romantic motivation behind his gift, or her just totally shutting him down (probably because he's too young).
And yes, the lipstick does come out of our war chest. You need 500k to access this scene, and you end it with 50k taken from the party funds. Which I don't mind, because, huh…
"Magickal lip rouge from the popular Feyforge brand. It is a limited-edition product, making it difficult for even the reachest noblewomen to obtain."
Remember how I wow'd over the Bracer and its +3 Physical Attack bonus? Yeah, Agrias's new lipstick grants +3 PA, +3 MA, boosts Holy Damage, and grants Protect, Shell, and Haste while equipped.
Genuinely absolutely insane. The strongest item we've found so far and I am going to wager a stronger frontrunner for strongest item in the game even later on.
If only I could find a way to make Agrias's Sword Skills Holy-elemental instead of "oh whoops we forgot we didn't code it that way" elemental… Maybe there's a Holy-elemental sword in the late game? That would cause her Sword Skills to become Holy. Will be worth keeping an eye out for.
Anyway this probably makes Agrias our strongest unit now. I'm… Going to try not to think about what would happen if I gave that thing to Hester, who is already one of my top two sweepers. Jesus Christ.
But I can't disrespect Mustadio's gift like this.
Anyway the real sexism in this scene is the lipstick being female-only meaning Ramza "I have both male and female stat growths" Beoulve can't live out their dreams of being an ambiguously gendered twink-
III. Sky Pirate Down
First, we head back to Leselia, where we check the Rumors tab.
Rash of Thefts: "Clergymen from all over Ivalice have been reporting thefts as of late. All of the items stolen have been jewels in the care of religious institutions, leading the Church of Glabados to conclude that the crimes are the work of heretics or other enemies of the Church. Anticipating further incidents, it has warned its members to exercise particular vigilance."
From this, we are then supposed to head to Dorter, aaaaand… cutscene!
Ramza is walking through the Dorter slums, musing to himself about news of these religious thefts.
Ramza: "A godless thief with designs upon the Church vaults. Could it be he seeks the Stones? The road to the auracite is barred by Templar swords. But it is the same road that leads to Alma. I will walk whatever road I must to set you free."
As Ramza walks through the slum, we see rogues hiding behind pillars and rubble, daggers in hand, watching him - but as they pounce, it becomes clear that Ramza walked into this trap on purpose, and he draws his sword to counter an attack from three enemies at once!
Cutscene Ramza is a badass, but it does have to feel a little weird if you have him maining Black Mage or something.
As Ramza crosses blades with his assaillants, they realize they have the wrong man - they were looking for the thief at large, but they recognize Ramza as being a different person… But still a wanted heretic worth a tidy sum; they double the attack, taking Ramza off-guard, only for a gunshot to ring out and one of the assaillants to fall down.
Then, before we can even fully see the new arrival, we are greeted by the smooth accents of FF7R!Briggs/ARR!Urianger.
Newcomer: "Your mistakes were twofold, I'm afraid. You sprung your trap without looking to see if the game you hunted was the one you'd snare. And you sold me short. I'm no thief."
Newcomer: "I'm a sky pirate."
What the fuck do you mean "sky pirate" there hasn't been a functioning airship in this setting in two thousand years-
Oh fuck, he might actually be cool.
The new guy asks everyone about the location of the "Cache of Glabados"; Ramza has no idea what he's talking about and the bounty hunters don't care, focusing instead on the fact that two heretics instead of one might be the score of their life.
Newcomer: "Oh, you'll have your reward for finding me. And don't think about running off without collecting. My shot is faster. Or my name's not Balthier."
This guy transpires "crossover character added to WotL" energy, but unlike Luso, he is actually legitimately cool???
Cue battle screen.
Oh, uh, sorry Luso, I forgot you were there.
Balthier: "They've numbers, if nothing else. Perhaps a brief alliance is in order? One hand washes the other and all that."
Ramza: "I'll certainly not object!"
Alright, we're fighting with a limited roster of four characters + Guest Character Balthier, with Ramza starting the fight exposed out in the open due to the narrative of the cutscene putting him surrounded by enemies. Our opposition is one White Mage, three Archers, one Thief, one Monk; leaning heavily on ranged power, it seems. Things kick off strong; Balthier moves up to that same "hill" that gave us so much trouble back during the first Dorter Slum battle at the start of the game and hits with a strong 144 damage gun attack, then Agrias moves up and obliterates an Archer with a single Hallowed Bolt for 289 damage. Then it's the Thief's turn…
…
With Hester and Hadrian in the party, our lineup focuses on immediate, far-reaching aggression just in case we need to obliterate one specific enemy unit before it can act for no reason in particular. Their movement range isn't quite far enough though, so I have Hester kill the Archer first. The Thief goes, and uses Steal Heart on Hester, Charming one of my most powerful units.
No matter. I have Hadrian use Jump on Hester, dealing heavy damage but knocking her out of her trance and triggering Dragonheart, applying Reraise to herself. Before the Thief gets a chance to act again…
…she whiffs her first of two attacks, failing to score lethal with her second blow.
NO MATTER. A Shout-boosted Ramza immediately finishes off the dastardly scoundrel, while other on the rooftops, Balthier plinks off the enemy WHM with his gun, ensuring no support for the enemy team.
The Monk and Archers then identify Hester as a major threat and take her down with combined attacks, before taking shots at Gillian who's slowly advancing while casting White Magick spells to support allies. Joke's on them.
Hester's Reraise kicks in, she jumps up onto the crates behind the two enemy Archers and immediately kills one. Ramza quickly follows, hopping up and taking down the remaining Archer in a single hit.
Hadrian and Balthier take turn harassing the enemy Monk, who is brought into critical and attempts to escape; his Chakra ability allows him to heal damage while doing so, so he's trying to put distance between him and the two long-range attackers that are the Dragoon and the Sky Pirate…
A swift and decisive victory. The sheer damage that I'm starting to accrue from Attack Boost Ninja, Ramza's Shout-enhanced Doublehand attacks, and (in another version of this battle) Agrias's lipstick-powered attacks (okay so maybe that bit is a little problematic), is becoming absolutely ridiculous.
Post-battle conversation.
Balthier: "Such a warm welcome. I see my reputation precedes me."
Ramza: "You are branded a heretic as well?"
Balthier: "Religion and I don't mix, I'm afraid. *sigh* Another false lead."
Ramza: "Why do you seek this… Cache of Glabados?"
Balthier: "Women, treasure - does a man need reason to pursue beauty?"
Ramza: "The Church's treasure - it is not the prize you think it."
Balthier: "Then you know it?"
Ramza: "No, it's only - you're better off not searching. The road is fraught with danger you cannot know."
Balthier: "Who do you think you're talking to? The leading man never balks at a little danger. Though this does have more the feel of a cameo role… Nonetheless, I have my reasons for seeking that particular treasure. I found it once - laid my hands on it, and look where it got me. If I find it again, I can put things back as they were. And since you know something of it, you've gained yourself another travelling companion."
Ramza: "Oh?"
Balthier: "Not to worry, I have some experience in the chaperoning of children."
[Ramza turns around to leave; Balthier follows; Ramza turns back around.]
Ramza: "I'm no child!"
Balthier: "Yes, they all say that, don't they?"
Ramza: "And *you* say you are a sky pirate. Would you have me believe you can fly? I see no wings."
[He turns around again, and leaves the screen.]
Balthier: "I seem to always find myself a pirate without a sky. At this rate, I'm like to forget how to fly altogether."
Oh my god.
Ramza is 21 years old.
(Okay I guess realistically he's like, 18; it's hard to tell exactly how much time has passed within the narrative as such as opposed to the in-game timer, but the Chronicle screen does inform us that Ramza is in fact 21.)
In case it wasn't already obvious that Balthier comes from another FF game, his personal introduction is very similar to Luso: Coyly allude to having his own story and goals going that he's put on hold to take part in this crossover, while remaining vague enough about what these goals are so we don't mistakenly think they'll play an important part in this story. I did chortle at the "wait, I feel like I'm a cameo player in this one" meta joke. Very strange decision to choose a "sky pirate" to crossover into a game where airships are a lost technology of the Ancients, though.
Hmm. Every FF game since the very beginning has had an airship, but of course FFT is not a normal FF game. Still, unlocking the airship as a "teleport to any node without risking random encounters in-between" late-game unlock would be really nice… It just might also be out of genre. But now that I've thought about it I'm kind of hoping for it, ngl.
Alright, let's check out Balthier as a playable character. As usual for named units, his Sky Pirate job replaces Squire, and is identical except for its Command Ability, which replaces Fundaments with "Piracy." What does Piracy look like?
…
Mother of-
It's the complete Machinist command list with the complete Thief command list stapled to it, with an exclusive "Barrage" skill which is the Ranger's Rapid Fire from FFV that hits four times for half damage each time.
And he starts at lv 35. And he has base Speed 10, two higher than Mustadio, the same Speed as Hester, our Ninja.
We have just found Mustadio 2.0. We have unlocked Better Mustadio: The Mustadio That Fucks. Our boy is in absolute shambles.
I literally cannot find a justification to keep Mustadio on rather than replace him with Balthier other than personal affection for the guy and the fact that I spent a lot of time teaching him all the Chemist commands (but also he has now fully mastered Chemist and I have no idea where to go with him next).
Devastating follow up to Agrias's Birthday.
Alright, well, that will do it for today I think. We took a bit of a break from the plot to explore what side quests the game has to offer, and I think that was what I needed. A momentary respite from the Oblivion Hole for at least our two oldest named party members, however brief. Plus some fun custom maps, more new guest characters than we can actually use, and some cool powerful gear.
We now have:
Beowulf, the Templar
Reis, the Holy Dragon
Construct 8, the Automaton
Balthier, the Sky Pirate
Will any of these join us in our adventures on a permanent basis? Maybe Balthier.
For now, taking a brief look at my party roster… Hadrian has fully mastered Dragoon and has the few Item commands I care about for him (X-Potion, Phoenix Down, Hi-Ether, Remedy soon), Mustadio has fully mastered Chemist and I'm not sure where to take him next, Agrias entered Geomancer and is soon to unlock Attack Boost after which I'm not sure but I might have her go back to Monk for the general utility of Martial Arts (unless we head for Samurai and give her Doublehand as well? Seems greedy), Ramza is just plodding along the Samurai life while I get anxious about his permanent stat growth, Gillian's just eking towards BLM 5 at which point I'll have her swap to Time Mage… That's it for now.
Food for thought.
Thank you for reading.
Next Time: To Fort Besserat!
Main Story Battle Count: 37
Side Quest Battle Count: 5
Random battle count: 57
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- Location
- Land of the Midday Sun
The leading man is here.Newcomer: "Oh, you'll have your reward for finding me. And don't think about running off without collecting. My shot is faster. Or my name's not Balthier."
This guy transpires "crossover character added to WotL" energy, but unlike Luso, he is actually legitimately cool???
And you got it right, he's from FFXII. I'm not saying anything else because at this point it would be a spoiler, and I hope the Chronicles menu doesn't betray me.
- Location
- Spain
She betrayed the Dao of the Gun and the Gun got its revenge.
Fun fact in the PlayStation version of the game ice gun and its counter part had their names swapped around.
Also poor Gillian just learn first hand "Geek the mage first" hurts when you're the mage. Probably has a better appreciation for what Mustadio goes though.
Also poor Gillian just learn first hand "Geek the mage first" hurts when you're the mage. Probably has a better appreciation for what Mustadio goes though.
- Location
- Spain
Okay so. This is a weird oddity from the archeodemon having it.
Gigaflare in FFT actually has extremely low base damage, because normally its a monster spell and monsters have absurd MA values - but this one demon knows it for some reason despite having low levels of MA, so it ends up being a wet fart.
(Honestly i think this was some kind of oversight).
Last edited:
- Location
- Portugal
Oh my God. This is a "destroy Mustadio" update. On every conceivable level. I can't believe Mustadio is frickin' dead. Honestly some of these sidequests can be both funny and charming, it's kind of a surprise.
I kind of completely let it slip past me to comment on the last few main story updates, but I have overdue thoughts there for another post.
I kind of completely let it slip past me to comment on the last few main story updates, but I have overdue thoughts there for another post.
- Pronouns
- Him/He
The best scenes of this update, Ramza ordering milk, and Ramza ordering the death of one of his most loyal allies on a whim, are of course in the original FFT. There was much laughing at 'Mustadio keeps dying' meme because canonically he is one of the people who get killed and has to be revived!
The lipstick thing was added in the PSP thing, as well as the Sky Pirate thing.
By the way, you said you sent Boco to a nice farm upstate, what about Lavian and Alicia? I don't know the triggers specifically except they need to still be in your party for something. (From what I know it might just be locked until later in Chapter 4 for reasons that make sense in retrospect.)
The lipstick thing was added in the PSP thing, as well as the Sky Pirate thing.
By the way, you said you sent Boco to a nice farm upstate, what about Lavian and Alicia? I don't know the triggers specifically except they need to still be in your party for something. (From what I know it might just be locked until later in Chapter 4 for reasons that make sense in retrospect.)
- Location
- PA
This has just been the Mustydio gets dunked on power hour.
Rejected by Agrias, blown up by a robot (and that one is original to FFT so that makes things even worse!) AND now here's basically a slicker sexier version to replace him.
Also I'm fairly sure you could have gotten the first golden cutscene and probably the golem itself pre-Riovannes, if only because I remember Ramza cracking the 'Beat Mustudio up!' Joke and getting a friend blown up while wearing the purple 'sellsword' armor.
Rejected by Agrias, blown up by a robot (and that one is original to FFT so that makes things even worse!) AND now here's basically a slicker sexier version to replace him.
Also I'm fairly sure you could have gotten the first golden cutscene and probably the golem itself pre-Riovannes, if only because I remember Ramza cracking the 'Beat Mustudio up!' Joke and getting a friend blown up while wearing the purple 'sellsword' armor.
- Location
- Canada
The trigger that they're needed for is Agrias' Birthday, so he's good. Poor Lavian and Alicia, don't even show up for the quest they're required for.
Muramasa
Best Girl
Beowulf is an exceptional unit. Instant Stone Sword, Chicken Sword, Disable... These are just amazing skills that are only limited by MP cost and them being single target only.
Try him Omi, he's good.
Also try reducing an enemy targets Brave to less than 10.
Something amusing happens.
Try him Omi, he's good.
Also try reducing an enemy targets Brave to less than 10.
Something amusing happens.