"Onii-chan is having an affair right under your nose, Ayame-sama."
I can't stop hearing my sister-in-law's voice in my head, her words echoing louder than all the rest of my thoughts. A corner of my mind hears the patter of raindrops beginning to fall. The gloomy night only adds to the darkness that hangs over me.
Had I suspected? If I'm honest with myself, I must admit that as of late, my husband has seemed happier, more...alive.
I pick up my teacup and take a sip. Blegh, it's stone cold, like that knot inside my gut that I can't seem to rid myself of since Takamona-san had walked into my office with that look in her eyes.
Of course, it's been years since there's been anything except duty between Katsuie and I. We never had that spark of desire between us. Not that he's not a handsome man, because he is - it just never worked out. I remember our wedding night, how awkward it was for me to lay there waiting for it to end.
Never once did he try to blame me or make me feel bad. I wanted four children and he did all he could to make that happen for me.
The Fortunes know that we tried to make our marriage work. We wanted to be more than just a seal on a treaty and so we did everything we could think of to bring each other closer, to try to ignite some sort of...something...between us.
In the end, our marriage has cost us the friendship that we had as children. It's my biggest regret, that we weren't able to at least preserve the little that we had. Time and proximity took everything from us. Even the love we have for our children isn't enough to bridge the gap.
Eight years is a long time to be married to someone you don't love and have no desire to be around. But Katsuie is a good man - he has always done his duty by me, treated me with kindness and respect. If he's taken lovers, there's never been even the whisper of a rumour about it at court.
I respect him for the strength he's shown over these last years, when it became clear to us that there never was and never would be anything between us. I am grateful to him for the care he has taken to help me preserve the illusion that we are the happiest of couples.
And it is that, more than anything, that disturbs me now. In reality, I hadn't heard a whisper about this affair either, not until my sister-in-law came to see me. Katsuie is no fool, he knows what the penalty would be for a woman caught as his lover. If he really cares about Kakita Sakura-san, if he really loves her - which I can only assume is the case, given how worked up Takamona-san was - why would he throw all caution to the wind?
"They're planning on being together tonight."
I shake my head, trying to clear it of the memory of my sister-in-law's words. There's always the chance that she's making this up for some unknown reason.
Takamona-san has always been unusually attached to her brother, but I can't see why she would want to ruin something that makes him happy. Sure, she spoke a lot about dishonor in family, but I'm not sure I believe her when she says that she thought I deserved better than that. She only cares about her brother. She would happily consign me to Jigoku if she thought it was in his best interest.
Regardless, I'm going to have to find out if it's true or not.
I sigh heavily as I summon my most trusted guard to give him the order to find out discreetly what is going on.
***********************
It was true. They are having an affair.
I sit behind my desk, keeping my on carefully controlled, as I consider the young woman in front of me. Poor thing, they didn't even give her a minute to dress properly. Even now she is respectful, telling her story in a quiet but clear voice.
To my left stands my sister-in-law, who isn't even trying to hide her disdain. To my right stands my husband whose expression is more stricken than I have ever seen.
He does love her, and she loves him. I can see it in their eyes, in the way they hold themselves.
There's something about this whole thing that doesn't sit right with me. It just doesn't make sense.
Katsuie has spent eight long years dutifully playing the role of the loving, loyal husband. I can't believe that he would be so careless all of a sudden. And I really don't think he would do anything that would publicly embarrass the both of us. It simply isn't like him.
I never took Kakita Sakura-san for a stupid girl - she's young and perhaps a little foolish at times, but she understands what it means to be a Crane, what it means to have honour. After all, she's the granddaughter of Kakita Misaki-Shiryo. Even now, shamed before her daimyo, her demeanor and her behaviour are undeniably Crane. Ahh, what a shame. Time and experience would have turned her into something special.
And Takamona-san…she has a strange gleam of malicious joy in her eyes. I'm beginning to get the uncomfortable feeling that she went out her way to root out the details of an extremely discreet affair out of spite.
A wave of anger rises in me at that thought.
What a completely despicable thing to do.
For all that things have been strained for a long time between my husband and I, he deserves to find his happiness.
What kind of person goes out of their way to ruin the happiness of someone they claim to love? That bitch thinks she can just walk in here and turn everyone's lives upside down just because she's jealous?
But even with all of this...well, none of this changes the facts. My husband is having an affair with a woman in my court.
It galls me almost beyond bearing that I have to do this after they did everything right, but my hand has been forced. I know what I must do. I also know that Takamona is not getting out of this unscathed, not if I have anything to say about it.
I fix my blue eyes upon the young woman at the center of this tempest in a teacup, my mind going through the facts quickly as a Kakita blade through air.
I'm sorry Katsuie, I can't keep her here. Now that your sister has come forward with her information, everyone at court is going to find out. And even if you finally found the happiness that you deserve, your sister has made it impossible for you to keep it. But at least I can give you the glimmer of hope that you can see your Sakura again some day.
I steel myself to deliver sentence.
"Kakita Sakura...."