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In The Grim Darkness Of The 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe!

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Brimstone, proving that you don't even beat GI Joe in theology!

And yeah, Christians have believed basically everything. Much of it monstrous. Comes of not understanding that not all tears are a evil.

Not to mention that plenty of them don't even believe in Hell to begin with! Or, at worst, a self-imposed torment in electing to be absent from God.

Also, while if they knew our true nature they'd undoubtedly execute us, I am loving the Sororitas. Well, maybe not execute us. Give us one chance at abject subjugation to the Emperor and, relatedly, the doom of Organitron. And then have to fight us when we don't submit.

That got dark fast. Point is they're fun for fanatical fascists.
 
sun tzu said:
*shrugs* It took me about 168 hours to finish playing, but I'm a completionist and a save-scummer.

As for what they're mining, I believe I've already mentioned here and there that they're mining praseodymium. :p
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Fair enough, sounds about right for my playthrough patterns as well. I reckon I'll pick-up a copy, cheers for the advice.

And praseodymium huh, that's certainly something. Certainly useful, but I'm not sure how much the Mechanics would get out of it compares to its uses for the IG. Still, it's not like the Mechanics doesn't supply everything the IG uses anyway.
darkstarling said:
Also, while if they knew our true nature they'd undoubtedly execute us, I am loving the Sororitas. Well, maybe not execute us. Give us one chance at abject subjugation to the Emperor and, relatedly, the doom of Organitron. And then have to fight us when we don't submit.

That got dark fast. Point is they're fun for fanatical fascists.
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Eh, they can be fun in the same way Black Templars can be fun; the abserdity can be mildly amusing for a while. But ultimately one flavor of mad theocratic facist is the same as any other, and more than even the Black Templars the Sisters of battle are well, bugfuck insane. I doubt many would even give Organitron the chance to repent in life, most orders prefer repentance in death. Remember that a Sister of Battle Living Saint got stuffed into a Penitent Engine because she tried to have her order spare a collection of children whose parents were heretics. If they'd do that to a actual living saint, the hell they'd offer anyone else mercy.
 
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Metatron said:
the Sisters of battle
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Their origin story is that Goge Vandire (a very cartoonishly evil name) gathered those crazy ladies into one group and made them his bodyguards during his reign of blood and terror in the Imperium.

And it takes one Custode to convince Alivia Sureka, the leader of the Sisters of Battle to change her mind and kill Vandire.

Honestly the Custodes should be the ones to intervene than just stand there to look like Pillar Men wannabes.
 
Not really, 40k is big on named characters not dying when they should, it's explicitly part of their magic system. G.I. Joe is basically god mode by their rules.
 
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Metatron said:
According to the data Owlcat released Dogmatic runs were far and away the most popular, followed by Heretical runs then with a distant third Iconoclast runs. That wasn't exactly what I expected, but it doesn't surprise me on further thought. The fan-base of Warhammer 40k always surprises me with the level of Imperial dickriding they are willing to throw down.
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Can you direct me to that? I can't find that data.
Metatron said:
Remember that a Sister of Battle Living Saint got stuffed into a Penitent Engine because she tried to have her order spare a collection of children whose parents were heretics.
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...Also for this.
 
And the fiction.live quest that this is based on has been said to use the GI Joe RPG rules. And said rules apparently support this kind of stuff; where it's possible for a Joe to be wounded etc, but very unlikely for them to die or fail a mission.
 
Warmachine375 said:
Their origin story is that Goge Vandire (a very cartoonishly evil name) gathered those crazy ladies into one group and made them his bodyguards during his reign of blood and terror in the Imperium.

And it takes one Custode to convince Alivia Sureka, the leader of the Sisters of Battle to change her mind and kill Vandire.

Honestly the Custodes should be the ones to intervene than just stand there to look like Pillar Men wannabes.
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I am aware of the Sisters origin, it's as funny now as ever. The fact they were fooled by a conversion field, a relatively common piece of tech among high-ranking imperials, is still amusing. As for the Custodians, giving them the most amount of leeway physically possible it is entirely possible that at the time the Custodians convinced the Alivia to turn against Goge that the Emperor had not yet given them direct orders to fix the Imperium, and as they can only act with his direct orders the Captain General of the time decided to bend the rules rather than break them and convince someone else to do their dirty work. This is giving them leeway they do not deserve, but it is a explanation, if not a good one.
Gore17 said:
Can you direct me to that? I can't find that data.

...Also for this.
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The first one was a twitter post from Owlcat games about the game's paths and how many people followed each one. I have no idea how I'd find it again, but hopefully that narrows it down a bit. Probably a bit pre-emptive to drop that, but eh, it doesn't conflict with previous Warhammer games particular gamer statistics (91% of Dawn of War players have completed a Blood Raven campaign compared to 12% who have completed another factions campaign)


As for the second however I do have a direct quote, from Blood of Asaheim
Blood of Asaheim by Chris Wraight said:
'Sister Apolian is the greatest shame of our order Inquisitor, you know this well. She dared counsel mercy for heretics, this could not be sustained.'
'Heretics,' Jane's slack face remained unmoving, but her eyes preformed a small, lazy roll 'if I recall they were children.'
'Child in form perhaps,' the Cannoness spat, 'but heretical in soul. Even the youngest among them would have dammed any parent stupid enough to take them on.'
'Are Living Saints not speaking with the Emperor's word,' Jane spoke heedless of Matis's increasing panic, 'thus would it not follow your order's logic that the Emperor demanded those children alive. Perhaps for some great deed at a later period. Would this not make you Cannoness, guilty of the ultimate heresy yourself? Such direct transgression against the Emperor himself surely makes you worse than she could have ever been, given the situation.'
The Cannonness's bolt pistol was drawn from its holster quicker than Matis could even comprehend, its wide barrel pointing dead at Jane's forehead, yet it did not fire, did not paint the pristine marble statue of the Emperor behind her with yet more loyal blood, for her hand could not clench.
Jane had moved quicker still, and was holding the Cannonness's hand still, trigger finger in place trapped by her thumb. And how did the Cannonness struggle, thrashing like a caught fish on a line as she desperately tried to pull the trigger, to end yet more imperial lives. Jane remained unmoved, her relic terminator plate as unyielding as the mountains themselves, even as the Cannonness shattered her other gauntleted hand in a attempt to break her suddenly adamantium-hard nose.
'Former Sister Apolian was a heretic, using unsanctioned psykic powers to fake divine imbuement, it is our shame that we even allowed her a chance at penance!' The Cannonness's thundered, eyes as wild and insane as any cultist of the blood lord Matis had ever meet. Before his disbelieving eyes blood vessels began bursting in gory spurts, staining her face, even as every muscle in her face jumped in a useless attempt at movement, at murder.
'She is the voice of the Emperor', Jane ponderously uttered, her low slur unbothered and her face as slack as ever, 'and she shall be freed, by the Emperor of Mankind I demand it. Should you fail to comply,' a hint of emotion entered her voice, a faint shadow of low amusement at someone else's suffering, 'I will have no choice but to declare you all heretics fallen to the Plague Lord and spoil your organizations perfect record. Well, almost perfect.' A faint hint of something, that given time and watering, might grow into a smirk, graced her lips.
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Apologizes for the absolutely terrible formatting and possible translation issues, this is direct translated from my mother language, but the jist should shine through. Also of note, why the fuck we haven't seen more of Inquisitor Grandmaster Jane is beyond me, a nearly millennia old inquisitor with immense psykic powers who bounced from Ordo to Ordo after each one kicked her out due to her being dragged in front of endless trials to prove her innocence. Who eventually settled on the Ordo Obsoletus of all things, rising to their Grandmaster and seeking, I kid you not, the True Names of the Chaos Gods, while also remaining uncorrupted despite knowing fragments of all four. She'd be a interesting book protagonist.
 
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Gore17 said:
You sure that's the right book? Because I just looked at a copy, and it doesn't include that.
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Should be, I had the quote all saved up for a GURPS game I run. I attributed it in the doc to that book, so unless I fucked up the quote then it should be that one? Damn it, I'll have to go back and check once I get home from work. Cheers for alerting me by the by, that would have been annoying to find out come game day. I know for a fact one of my players would have called that one out.
Regardless it is from a warhammer novel, and once I figure out which one I'll change my post to attribute it correctly.

Edit: Going over the document quickly it looks like it might come from either Red & Black or Blasphemy of the Fallen, but I'll have to double check when I actually have access to my physical books.
 
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Every Sororita - much like Kaltberg - was trained at the Schola Progenium, with all the horrors and indoctrination involved.

But even there, you'll still find variances in what came out. After all, Ciaphas Cain was also trained at the Schola. Different Sororitas orders (and individual convents) will encourage different behaviors. And Angeloff, specifically, has a background that gives her a somewhat different perspective than most Schola graduates.
 
TheSwashBuckler said:
Aren't the G.I. Joe a bit too... Overpowered here. I mean it's 40k, I was expecting a bit of casualties by now.
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I mean, Nobody Beats GI Joe is right in the title :p

Look at it this way. Every single member of the Joes would be a candidate for the very highest levels of badassery in the Imperium, whether Astartes or Assassinoreum or what have you. Except they don't have a death cult, utterly moribund science, and fascist rhetoric holding them back from their true potential. And they aren't losing 1000:1 in training losses for the lolz because of that same death cult.
 
darkstarling said:
Brimstone, proving that you don't even beat GI Joe in theology!

And yeah, Christians have believed basically everything. Much of it monstrous. Comes of not understanding that not all tears are a evil.

Not to mention that plenty of them don't even believe in Hell to begin with! Or, at worst, a self-imposed torment in electing to be absent from God.
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For the record, I got inspired to include this minor plot point detour while watching Hazbin Hotel (and subsequently reading up on Christian theories concerning the afterlife).
 
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Bassoe said:
Suno is a wonderful thing at times like these.
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The Man with the Golden Shot by @bassoe | Suno

bombastic medieval bardcore ballad folksong song. Listen and make your own with Suno.
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Nice. XD


Meanwhile, in further Cavitus facts:

1)While the Baneblade factory isn't 100% operational, it has already produced its first two units (in large part because G.I. Joe's technicians were training the war refugees by having them do much of the preliminary work). The first one was sold to House Astraides at a token price, as Cadencio's way of showing that, yes, he's taking his deal with the Navigators seriously. The second was included as a freebie in the shipment of military hardware that was recently sent to Kiboutan (along with 2.3 million PDF volunteers).

2)While the full extent of Cadencio's planned reforms is a well-kept secret, he's already revealed enough to be viewed as a problem by Cavitus's nobility - enough that one of them has jumped the gun and tried to have him killed. The culprit's entire family has been dispossessed in retaliation, which has motivated other nobles to watch carefully and make sure none of their relatives are getting any bright ideas.
(If you're wondering how Cadencio survived the assassination attempt or identified the killer so fast... well, there's a story behind that, but we'll get to that at some point in the future. Suffice to say for now, when G.I. Joe departed for Devoir, they left a few things behind on Cavitus... including some body-guarding drones and some Synthoids.)
 
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