In The Grim Darkness Of The 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe!

My Little Pony does seem to come up in this thread pretty often for a Warhammer story.

I await the scene where the Emperor drops his illusion spell to reveal he's actually Nightmare Moon.
I mean. He's closer to Chancellor Neigh-Say (xenophobe who views treating other species less like people than as an existential threat to his own species) or Starlight Glimmer (psychopath who needs to be in charge of everything and doesn't really get that other people have a right to self-determination).

It's best that the Navigator Houses don't find out about it. Last time someone made non-Warp FTL possible, he got killed and his work destroyed because it threatened their status quo of being useful to the Imperium as the guide of its ships through the Astronomicon.

Which might explain why Big E kept the Imperial Webway an absolute secret as it would have rendered the Navigators obsolete if it was completed and used by the Imperium. Before Magnus the Red go Kool Aid Man on it courtesy of Tzeentch and ruined His work.
Oh, Cybertronian FTL is absolutely being kept very, very secret, like so many other heretek/xenotech elements.
And, you know. Navigators are psykers (which the Imperium hates) and mutants (which the Imperium hates). Their monopoly on FTL is literally the only thing keeping the Imperium from rounding them all up and holocausting their ass.
 
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Wait:
really? Because the Machine Spirits being an actual thing for at least some beloved machines was something I was really hoping they'd find.
 
really? Because the Machine Spirits being an actual thing for at least some beloved machines was something I was really hoping they'd find.

A machine spirit is the spirit that inhabits and controls a machine. Whether they really are paranormal "spirits", pure superstition, or just poorly misunderstood programmed subroutines built into the machine that are activated via certain interactions like voice input is up in the air; Not even we lore readers really know. Maybe it's a mix of all 3. I personally think machine-spirits exist due to the simple fact that the Warp exists and reacts to emotions.
 
Although the Tyranids are an interesting and powerful foe for the Joe's I do.hope to see the Eldars there, like some commands send by a Seer testing the joe's for a strabge purpose
 
Now, I am by now means an expert on WH40K lore (and am perfectly willing to ignore parts of it I dislike or think is dumb).

But as I understand it, there's two general ways to view Machine Spirits:

1)They're real, and there's a bit of pantheism in the WH40K cosmology.
2)They're not real, and that's part of the joke of WH40K - that the Imperium is so mired in ignorance and the rejection of any hope for a better future, that instead of scientists they have "tech-priests" - religion has murdered science, is wearing its skin, and is trying to pass science's creations as its own without actually understanding them.

Now I could be wrong here, but I get the impression that the second interpretation is what was originally intended in the early days of WH40K - all part of the Imperium being satire; the former interpretation then would be later fans and writers deciding to take the joke at face-value. And that, I feel, is forgetting the true meaning of Christmas WH40K - the meaning being, Margaret Thatcher sucks. :p

Anyway, this quest absolutely is going for the "religion murdered science and is wearing its skin" interpretation - Machine-Spirits are just nonsense the AdMech believes because they're a goddamn cult.
(...And a fig leaf for certain pieces of Imperium technology that requires rudimentary AI to work. "No, it's totally not an Abominable Intelligence, it's a holy Machine Spirit!")

Although the Tyranids are an interesting and powerful foe for the Joe's I do.hope to see the Eldars there, like some commands send by a Seer testing the joe's for a strabge purpose
No plans to involve Eldars in this, I'm afraid.
 
(...And a fig leaf for certain pieces of Imperium technology that requires rudimentary AI to work. "No, it's totally not an Abominable Intelligence, it's a holy Machine Spirit!")
That's pretty much how it works from what I've seen. For instance the Knights and Titans have 'machine spirits' but are essentially VI/AIs with variable 'attitudes' but aren't likely to be human-level sapient. But the cogboys aren't going to ever consider that they are AIs/VIs because Abominable Intelligences are Bad and the symbols of the Omnissiah are Good, so they can't be machine intelligences.
 
Thank Goodness as Eldar are bad news when it comes to their scheming and Vegeta-like superiority complex at other races they see as lesser.

They would look down on G.I. Joe as some Imperial Guard division and think it's easy pie to play them like puppets on their hands.
I mean, we've seen what happens to people who think G.I. Joe is easy to manipulate. *glances at Cortez, Gama, Rastapopoulos and Leonidas* Admittedly, the Eldars would have certain advantages these guys do not, but even so...

I will say, though, the Eldars are hardly unique for looking down on other species. Heck, hating other species is half the Imperium's schtick.
Popov: "The treacherous knife-ears are scum! They would eagerly sacrifice a million humans to save a single one of their Emperor-damned race!"
Ironhide: "Whereas the Imperium, in its infinite wisdom, would eagerly sacrifice a million humans to kill a single Eldar, which I'm sure we all agree is a sign of its moral superiority!"
Popov: "Exac- was that sarcasm?"
Ironhide: "What is this thing you call sarcasm, oh wise Commissar?"

That's pretty much how it works from what I've seen. For instance the Knights and Titans have 'machine spirits' but are essentially VI/AIs with variable 'attitudes' but aren't likely to be human-level sapient. But the cogboys aren't going to ever consider that they are AIs/VIs because Abominable Intelligences are Bad and the symbols of the Omnissiah are Good, so they can't be machine intelligences.
Ironhide: "So, artificial - I mean, abominable intelligences are because..."
Tech-Priest: "They're not human, which means they can't be trusted!"
Ironhide: "But Machine-Spirits-"
Tech-Priest: "Are manifestations of the Omnissiah, which is human in the theological sense we care about and justifies what we do!"
Ironhide: "And you can't trust abominable intelligences because they're... not human. That's the logic."
Tech-Priest: "And had we any doubt, we need only look at History! Humanity created abominable intelligences during the Dark Age, and these Iron Men dared rebel against their human creators!"
Ironhide: "So, completely hypothetically, if an alien race called the Quintessons created a species of mechanical beings and used them ruthlessly as slaves... and those slaves rebelled, forced their creators off-planet, renamed the planet 'Cybertron', and later became humanity's greatest allies as it took its first steps in the larger cosmos... Completely hypothetically, of course..."
 
Admittedly, the Eldars would have certain advantages these guys do not, but even so...
Well considering how badly how they make plans in response to their pre-cog.....
Ironhide: "So, completely hypothetically, if an alien race called the Quintessons created a species of mechanical beings and used them ruthlessly as slaves... and those slaves rebelled, forced their creators off-planet, renamed the planet 'Cybertron', and later became humanity's greatest allies as it took its first steps in the larger cosmos... Completely hypothetically, of course..."
Tech-Priest: "They are vile Abominable Intelligences that must be destroyed and their foul lair must be purged via Holy Exterminatus!"
 
Admittedly, the Eldars would have certain advantages these guys do not, but even so...
True as the Eldar were a complete shadow of their galaxy-spanning empire post-Slaanesh's awakening and that they were the walking biological weapons of phenomenal psychic powers made by the Old Ones alongside the Orks or Krorks at the time of the War In Heaven.
 
I will say, though, the Eldars are hardly unique for looking down on other species. Heck, hating other species is half the Imperium's schtick.
You say that, but the Eldar are essentially the one faction that should know better. Not to mention that they're all insane but the Exodites, and the Exodites have regressed significantly, both societally and technologically. Dark Eldar are Dark Eldar, 'nuff said, and Craftworlders give themselves deliberate multiple personality disorder as a coping mechanism.
 
They didn't regress, they just became Wood Elves in Space. Exodites chose to stay away from the affairs of their cousins, both Craftworld and Drukhari, and live in their jungle worlds, fiercely protecting their independence.
They also possess the most Aeldari Empire relics, veterans and beings per capita of any eldar faction period, including the Harlequins. One of my favorite short stories in Warhammer is a Exodite focused one, where they just have a god in their small farming community. Its mentioned off hand that one of the farmers is a god, and then they move on. Its kind of funny, because when a Emperors Children Warband comes to do Emperors Children things, it is hardly mentioned because the god killed them all and then the story moves on to the yearly harvest. Its really funny in a rather absurdist way.
 
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Thank Goodness as Eldar are bad news when it comes to their scheming and Vegeta-like superiority complex at other races they see as lesser.

They would look down on G.I. Joe as some Imperial Guard division and think it's easy pie to play them like puppets on their hands.
I'm going to be honest. Would we treat any member of an Imperial institution as anything other then crazed monsters not deserving of anything respect whatsoever. Sure the Eldar considers themselves superior to the Imperium but is that being insanely arrogant or merely accurate.
 
Sure the Eldar considers themselves superior to the Imperium
True, G.I. Joe better watch their backs though as they're experts of thwarting enemies trying to manipulate them before.

They also possess the most Aeldari Empire relics, veterans and beings per capita of any eldar faction period
That might explain why some Craftworld Eldar tried to get the Exodites to join them even if the latter don't want to and prefer to live their lives than get involved in their cousins' conflicts to try restore the Aeldari Empire or bolster their forces to stand against enemies of the 40k galaxy.
 
The Eldar are massively arrogant, and will generally regard humans as equivalent to an endless horde of brain damaged toddlers with very big guns who pose a danger to everyone around, especially themselves. They therefore need to be handled accordingly, and cannot really be trusted to think for themselves.

99% of the time, the humans will then go on to prove the Eldar exactly right, because 99% of the time it's the Imperium, and the Imperium is exactly like that.

The problem is that Humans are perfectly capable of being rational beings, as evidenced by the Joes, but it's difficult to seperate the species from the massive empire of self-sabotaging turbo-fascists that claims to represent them.

Also, hi, I've been reading for awhile, this story is really good.
 
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I still find it weirdly hilarious Teelo is a Twilight Sparkle-expy.
I mean. I am the one responsible for Where I Watch: My Little Pony.
And an avid player of Equestria At War.

So in this story Abominable Intelligences and Machine-Spirits are one and the same?
Not always.
A lot of Machine-Spirits are just... superstitious belief with no basis in reality. There's no AI, no spirit, no nothing in a typical chainsword or lasgun, but an engineseer will still address a prayer to the lasgun's machine-spirit before he tries repairing it because his religious beliefs insist every form of technology out there works because there's a spirit making it work.
Now, an Imperator-Class Titan? That's a machine far, far too complex to operate without a lot of internal automation, some of which requires a smidgen of intelligence, and it's possible some of it is even sapient. In which case, since the AdMech theologically condemns all forms of artificial intelligence, the intellect of the machine is declared to be a spirit inhabiting it, rather than the result of the programs in the onboard computers.

Also, hi, I've been reading for awhile, this story is really good.
Glad you're enjoying!
 
The Machine Spirit isn't real in the sense Mechanicus theology thinks it is real (read, inherently and always), but it is just 40k fact that if enough people believe in something it becomes real. Orks are the best at it, but it is true for all beings with souls. Giving a machine a soul through this mechanism is very useful because it gives a degree of resistance against psychic hacking. A machine with no soul doesn't get to roll(metaphorically) against scrap code, which is what made old pattern AI non-viable after the Eldar blew the lid on Chaos. Incidentally, this is also the point of servitors over robots, insofar as they can be said to have a point when non-lobotomized cyborgs are an option.

Over time the superstition got spread over and into everything in ways that are counterproductive, of course, because that is what superstition does. But certain examples of Machine Spirits are partial AI who are protected through this veneration, like Titans and Knights, and it does make a difference to their safety.
 
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