Chapter Twenty
Ahsoka Tano looked at Knight Anakin Skywalker, and Knight Anakin Skywalker looked back at Padawan Ahsoka Tano. They stared at each other for a moment, and then the knight broke eye contact.
"Very well," Knight Skywalker said crisply. "You can come along. Try not to slow us down."
Ahsoka raised an eyebrow at the 'us', but otherwise bowed properly with her head. "I wouldn't ask if I wasn't sure, knight Skywalker."
"Overconfidence led to many a failure, but I'm impressed," Skywalker said as he began to walk towards the hangar, "Night really does a good job at pruning your snippy attitude."
Ahsoka gave back the most normal smile she could ever form. She had to keep her quips hidden until they were off-world, potentially on Florrum itself, before ripping down on Knight Skywalker about the head-pat counter and his jealousy issues. Until then, she had to hold it in. It was as she reached the hangar that she realized why Skywalker had used the 'Us'. Master Plo Koon was there together with Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, and they were both seemingly waiting on Knight Skywalker.
"Masters," Anakin said with a stiff nod.
"Skywalker," Plo Koon spoke crisply through his respirator. "I see you are not alone? Ahsoka," Master Plo Koon said with a slightly warmer tone, "How fare you under the guide of Master Shade?"
Ahsoka grinned. "He's great, Master Plo." Master Plo had been the one to discover her on Shili, and then he had been the one to answer her initial worries about the order.
"She'll be following me for this mission," Anakin replied. "Being all cooped up in the temple waiting for Night made me feel sorry for her."
Ahsoka remained silent, even as Master Obi-Wan chuckled nervously. "Well, Anakin, let's go then. Criminals don't just apprehend themselves."
"Not yet at least," Anakin said as he climbed into the carrier, taking a spot next to Master Kenobi. Ahsoka ended up standing next to Master Plo Koon, but she didn't dislike it.
The Kel Dor master seemed at ease, but again, he was always at ease. Master Kenobi was smiling, but he hid a sort of anxiety. Knight Skywalker, on the other hand, felt anxious, and eager, and nervous. It was...Ahsoka blinked. Knight Skywalker was afraid of failure. This was supposed to be a simple mission however; merely head over to Florrun to deal with a few unruly pirates, nothing risky -especially not with two Jedi Masters and a Jedi Knight. Ahsoka's first instinct had been to ask him outright, but she stilled her tongue. This was what her master had just finished teaching her, wasn't it? 'Conquer curiosity'. It was none of her business.
She remained thus perfectly quiet, and that didn't go unnoticed.
"It appears you have learned the art of patience, Ahsoka," Master Plo Koon said, slight surprise in his voice. "Your Master must be impressed."
"I hope he is," Ahsoka replied. "I know he's very busy with missions from the High Council, yet he takes the time to teach me whenever he can. The least I can do is respect his teachings."
"Spoken wisely," Master Kenobi remarked. "Why weren't you like her at your age, Anakin?"
Anakin rolled his eyes. "Maybe because I had you as a master, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan laughed, and shook his head. "I walked into that one."
Ahsoka grinned. This was looking up to be a great mission, but she had to keep her calm and concentrate on finding the link between the dark armored man, the black robed old man, and Anakin. She wasn't going to intervene, of course. She was just going to watch and wait for the vision to come to pass and then she'd swoop in and save Knight Skywalker. In that way, she wouldn't have interfered with the vision coming true, would she?
As they reached the Resolute, and then the ship departed for Florrum, Ahsoka had a good feeling about it. That 'good feeling' lasted approximately ten minutes. It lasted the time it took for the Resolute to start preparing for hyperspace. As Ahsoka meditated in the room assigned to her, the door slid open very, very quietly. She tensed, reaching out with the Force to uncover the unknown visitor. When the Force probe returned empty however, she opened her eyes.
And then she quickly paled.
"M-Master," Ahsoka blurted out. "I-I can explain."
"Of course you can, padawan," her Master replied with a knowing nod. "I am all ears." Her master sat down in front of her, and beamed her a smile. It was a gentle smile. It was a smile that physically hurt to watch. It hurt to watch because the smile and the face did not match the waves she was getting from the man behind it.
"I was thinking of taking a mission outside of the Temple grounds for a while," Ahsoka acquiesced. "I-Just how did you arrive here from Mandalore so fast?"
Her Master blinked, and inclined his head to the side. "Do not change the argument, padawan. Continue with your explanation."
Ahsoka spluttered. "W-Well!" she looked away in shame, "I was thinking about it, and then I just so casually met with Knight Skywalker and he practically had pity on me giving him the most puppy-eyed look I could manage, so-"
Her Master snorted, and rolled his eyes. "I can totally do it!" Ahsoka exclaimed, fists clenched. "And-"
The force-flick to her forehead this time around hurt. It didn't just hurt in the same of 'mild discomfort', no. This one hurt in the sense that she found her head flung backwards, as her senses went haywire. She clutched her head and hissed, biting her lower lip.
"Padawan," her Master said firmly. "I find your inability to lie refreshing, but at the same time, you disobeyed me." Her Master hissed the last part out through clenched teeth. "I knew, of course, that you would. That is why a mere flick is what you get, but not only did you disobey me, you then lied to me about it. That is unacceptable behavior, padawan. A Jedi does not lie." But he did. He did all the time.
Her master blinked very slowly, and narrowed his eyes. "What are you implying, padawan?"
"I saw your memories, Master. You were willing to execute the duchess, and you changed your mind because I was watching, but it doesn't change the fact you would have done so if I hadn't been there!" Ahsoka blurted out. "And you lied to her. You were constantly debating-"
"And what did I do in the end, padawan?" her Master asked. "The problem, padawan, is twofold," her Master sighed. "The first thing wrong was to disobey me, but see, if you had disobeyed me out of concern for fellow Jedi Skywalker, I would not be angry. Understand this: to have concern is, I think, one of the best quality a Jedi could have. We are there to show concern for the galaxy's state, and to restore peace. You, however, weren't following Skywalker out of concern, were you?"
His eyes gazed at her with a twinkle, which however betrayed his inner turmoil. Ahsoka nearly recoiled as if struck, but bit her lip in the end and looked down. "I just wanted to show you how much I learned," Ahsoka whispered out in the end.
"And that is the sin of pride," her Master acquiesced. "You do not need to show me anything, Padawan. I have eyes. A Jedi is not a peacock, who goes around flaunting its tail for everyone to see and admire."
Ahsoka was about to open her mouth to ask what a peacock was, when an image flashed in her mind and she stopped. She snorted at the thought, and then looked at her Master's raised eyebrow. "Are-Are those things real?"
"Yes they are."
"But how do those birds fly?" Ahsoka asked, "Are they, like, genetically engineered to be dusters or something?"
"When you are strong, appear weak," her Master said, "And when you are weak, appear strong," he finished, clearly quoting someone. "The peacock is a weak animal, but by showing off its long, multi-colored feathers, it appears larger and more intimidating, scaring predators away."
Ahsoka brought a hand to her chin, lost in thought for a brief moment. Then, her Master groaned. "You're not getting out of the lecture by distracting me, padawan," he said, and Ahsoka hung her head in shame. She had tried.
"The second problem," her Master said, "Isn't just disobeying out of pride. It's thinking only about yourself," he looked at her. "When we do something, as Jedi, it reflects on everyone that sees us. When you act like that, knowing fully well how dangerous it can be, and don't take a moment to think about how others will react to it, you are only hurting yourself. The reason I am privately remarking your mistakes is because, while it would be, and should be, my right to do so during dinner, I have no love for public humiliations." He looked at her with a sad gaze. "You did not think about the hurt you'd generate by disobeying me, did you? You showed your lack of trust by acting against my orders, and with it, the lack of trust you had in my teachings."
"T-that's not true! I just-" Ahsoka faltered on her next words, and her Master waited patiently for her to explain herself. She-she kind of didn't have an explanation for that. "I just wanted to make you proud of me."
"If you had obeyed me, I would have. Nothing makes a teacher prouder than see their students learn their lessons." Her Master's voice was kind of sad now that she thought about it. "The question is, have you now learned from this?" he asked her, "Have you understood why what you did was wrong?"
Ahsoka looked downwards and sideways in shame. She had acted out of personal interest, out of pride, and out of turn. She had disobeyed, and hurt her master's feelings. She had spat on his trust, and she hadn't even realized it. Had she learnt from it, however? What did it mean to learn such a lesson anyway?
"It means, next time you see something you shouldn't and try to act on it, you won't," her Master acquiesced. "If I tell you not to."
Ahsoka clenched her fists, and nodded once, slowly. Her Master exhaled. "Good girl," and then he patted her forehead. "Now, we'll meet on Florrum."
Ahsoka brought both eyebrows up. "What? But-"
"I really couldn't get back from Mandalore that fast, Padawan," her Master chuckled, and stood back up. "Just remember: I am the Master, and you are the Apprentice. There is a lot I can teach you, so don't be that surprised. Do the impossible, see the invisible," her Master added as he walked towards the door, "Row Row, fight the powah."
The doors slid to a close behind him, and, in a brief impulse, Ahsoka watched as reality reasserted herself around her. She hadn't even felt the difference between the Force trance and the outside. There had been no Cheshire Cat, no Mister Fluffles -who was now present in the reflection of the mirror meowing softly- and no indication of anything different at all.
The strong appear weak, and the weak appear strong.
There was nothing else to it.
The strange thought that crossed Ahsoka's mind as she mulled the latest happenings and stood up from her cross-legged position however wasn't that inspiring. There was the nagging sensation in the back of her mind that her Master had known she'd disobey, and had prepared for such an occasion. She had to wonder, in the end, just how much of her character he actually knew because of the records in the datapad of the temple, and how much he knew because of the Bond and the time spent together.
Maybe...Maybe he had seen this happen in a vision, and decided to let it play out? Well, wondering over it wasn't going to solve her problems. She'd have time after they met on Florrum.
As Ahsoka stepped out of the room assigned to her and began to walk towards the mess hall -her stomach was grumbling from hunger- she ended up crossing paths with Knight Skywalker, probably headed the same way.
"Knight Skywalker," Ahsoka said, "May I ask you a question?"
"Of course, padawan," Anakin replied, surprisingly polite now that she thought of it. "Something worries you?"
"Did you ever fail your master?" Ahsoka asked hesitantly. Anakin frowned, scratching the underside of his chin as he looked down at the ground, thinking hard for a moment.
"All the times," Anakin said in the end. "But I learned from my mistakes, padawan. Why do you ask?"
"Because I feel I failed my master," Ahsoka murmured. "I," she looked down at her right hand. "I kind of lied on why I wanted to come along. It wasn't because I was getting bored on the temple."
Anakin raised an eyebrow. "I suspected as much," he said plainly, "You wouldn't have approached me to come for this mission otherwise, but Obi-Wan or Plo-Koon. You actually wanted to test yourself, didn't you? And your Master kept telling you that you weren't ready for it yet." The Togruta scratched the back of her head.
"Kind of," Ahsoka said. "But mostly, it's because I managed to peek on one of my master's visions."
Anakin's eyebrows now considerably rose. "You did? And it concerned this mission? I should warn Obi-Wan, then again Night might have already told him about it."
Ahsoka shook her head. "No, it wasn't about this mission. It was more of...of a personal nature. Look, Skyguy-"
"I was wondering when you'd stop addressing me formally," Anakin remarked dryly, earning a half-heated glare from Ahsoka.
"Anyway," Ahsoka snapped, "The vision didn't concern the mission, but you."
Anakin remained very, very still after she spoke. He took a quick breath, and shook his head. "No."
"No...what?"
"No, don't tell me what it's about," Anakin said plainly. "Visions can-Your master didn't teach you this?"
Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "He somehow forgot."
"Well," Anakin said, "ignorance of a vision will not necessarily make the vision happen, but knowledge of it might just hasten it," he shook his head. "Whatever vision he had about me, he'll deal with it on his own. Don't tell me. And don't intervene in it. He made more than enough examples on prophecies and visions when we were young that I've grown accustomed to fearing any and all visions related to me." Here, Anakin shuddered. "Look, with all probability Night is already dealing with it, or has already dealt with it. Just in case, don't tell me."
Ahsoka frowned, "but it's about you, wouldn't you want to know anyway?"
"Living beings can live perfectly fine without knowing what will happen five minutes from now," Anakin said, and it was clear he was quoting her master with his words, "Let the matter drop."
Ahsoka blinked. "What. You can't be serious."
"Yes, I can." Anakin nodded. "Think about it; there's a reason I'm the knight and you're the padawan."
"Maybe it's just a matter of age," Ahsoka retorted.
"Your Master was already a Jedi Master at your age," Anakin pointed out. "I doubt age has anything to do with it."
Ahsoka groaned. She was backed into a corner. Why couldn't her Master have followed the steps normally, like all the other masters? Well, as much as she would have liked to keep the conversation going, her stomach rumbled, and so she had no choice but to shamefully concede defeat. But the purpose of a battle wasn't just to win or lose it. It was also to learn.
Ahsoka realized then that she had learned from the verbal exchange with Knight Skywalker. Master Shade had repeatedly talked to him about visions when he was young, as if expecting him to be the center of many. And he had dissuaded him from asking about them, because he knew they would be coming. Anakin Skywalker, furthermore, trusted her Master enough that he would be the one to solve the problem, rather than him. It was...even after Geonosis, Skywalker still trusted her master.
"You're being awfully quiet," Anakin pointed out as they ended up sitting one in front of the other in the mess hall. "A credit for your thoughts?"
"It's just," Ahsoka said, starting to play with her food, "I'm trying to apply my master's lessons, and he always asks me if I've learned something, so I was thinking back about our conversation, and what I learned from it."
"Oh, he did that when we were young too," Anakin said. "He used roleplay to make it stick."
"Role...play?" Ahsoka asked.
Anakin nodded. "I'm surprised he didn't rope you into playing. I remember we had little to look up at night but a game of Dungeons and Dragons," Anakin grinned next, "Paladin Kianna Lightwalker, level eighteen to nineteen." Ahsoka whistled at the level.
"Yeah, we did play," Ahsoka nodded. "Bard Shaoka Nota, level nine," she smiled brightly, "My master was surprised when I picked that class."
Anakin coughed. "Yeah, well," here he winced. "We were all paladins, except Darra. She liked to play the barbarian of Kord. I think she was compensating for something, but well, we had fun. He taught us a lot of things with the game. Like, when you're in a room with an imprisoned devil, it's for the best you don't use your real name in front of him, which translates in being careful when you're going somewhere shady, because there are always people listening. And then there was that time we were trapped, and about to die, and this evil demon offered me the chance to free them all in exchange for a favor later on. I...I didn't lose my paladin powers, so I thought, well-he's a very strong demon, he can save us, and maybe Heironeus isn't really against working with demons, but when we had just saved a village from a group of raiders." Anakin took a deep breath, sharply sucking air in. "He called the favor in, the demon that is," Anakin shook his head. "I refused to kill the villagers, so the Demon proclaimed he'd take our lives. We fought him, we fought him hard, but when in the end we defeated him...he exploded in fire and ashes. We barely survived, but the village was wiped out. 'Nothing but ashes, burned wood and skulls of charred black gaze back at you,' he said." Anakin shuddered. "And I couldn't even proclaim vengeance against the Demon, because it hadn't been his fault. It had been mine. I had refused, I had made a deal with the demon and that was why...it was my fault."
Anakin shook his head. "I think that what he wanted to tell me is that the Dark Side, it doesn't seem bad at first, but slowly it gets there. Or abruptly, you're there. I-I admit that wasn't the last time I made a deal with a devil, but," here he spluttered, "It was like Night took a perverted pleasure in throwing us in desperate situation, and giving us the way out only through dark, evil powers!"
Ahsoka furrowed. "That's...kind of strange," she acquiesced. "When I played, that...that wasn't pretty much the case. I played the bard, and he tested my knowledge, and wits, and cunning...the paladin...I think he was testing your loyalty, then?"
"But without showing a way out?" Anakin retorted.
"Why should he?" Ahsoka remarked. "You said it yourself that people are better off not knowing what will happen five minutes from now. Maybe, if you refused...five minutes from then you would have been saved?"
Anakin closed his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
He reopened them with a smile. "Guess so. I never connected the dots. Master Plo Koon was right. You really are learning well under your master." He chuckled. "I think you already are making him proud."
Ahsoka grinned. "He does give me head pats," she said with a brighter mood. Anakin blinked.
"Oh?" he said, trying to sound disinterested, "And did you count them?"
"I think," Ahsoka remarked, "twenty-two," she said offhandedly.
"Ah," Anakin said with a triumphant voice, "Five thousand three hundred forty seven, you've got a long way to go to beat me, pada-not that I counted them or anything!"
And Ahsoka smiled like the tiger who had just found her prey.
"That," Ahsoka said, cherishing each word rolling off her tongue, "sounded," really, she was grinning like a loon, she was pretty sure this had something to do with her master being amused, but also, in part, because she was amused too, "positively," her amusement reached new heights as she watched with delight Anakin's face morph in sudden realization of what she was just about to say, "Tsundere."
Anankin's high pitched denial soon were drowned by Ahsoka's fits of giggles, while two Jedi Master just then arriving on the scene looked on with a mixture of amusement and, technically, doubtful reproach. A Jedi should be in control of his emotions, after all.
But kids would be kids.
Even Anakin, in the end, was nothing but a kid to Obi-Wan's eyes.