Kendra Oswald, when not directing movies or partying, liked to write fanfiction, and at the moment she found herself in the Eckhart house's guest bedroom doing it with her laptop. The lights were off, everyone else was asleep, and the obvious ship to go for was Cassgrave from the teenager-focused conspiracy stop-motion webcartoon-comic-thing
Red Dirt. Cass McCulloch was the scheming head of the True Skull and Bones, and Moroni Leechgrave was the attractive and deeply bitter older man who was currently serving as her ally in the US Presidency. It was an alternate history, one where the Age of Cyberpunk never ended.
She'd quite proudly found herself outlining in utter literary beauty Leechgrave sitting in a bar, drinking his life away with experimental chemicals. His abusive mother, the Vice President, had her strings dangling from his wrists, and he was in a state of utter misery. As she wrote the draft, she checked the comments of the previous update. Cass had
won: for now.
SocialJusticeMage said:
RealKendraOswald said:
SocialJusticeMage said:
You can't write people being happy. You're bad at it.
RealKendraOswald said:
Oh, huh, I never thought of it that way. What, exactly, am I doing wrong?
SocialJusticeMage said:
Your characters are all miserable, awful people, and I think that's because you can't feel happiness unless it comes at someone else's expense. You're an egotistical, drunk, high mess who wouldn't know love or compassion for others if it bit you on the ass. Stop writing and stop ruining my fandoms, you celebrity fuck.
MithridaticHardcore said:
I don't think that's constructive criticism.
SocialJusticeMage said:
Well, she came into fandom culture like she owned the place because she got off scot-free after the revolution, and she keeps making these terrible stories that nobody likes, but we all have to read them because Kendra Oswald wrote them. Do you know how many authors get forgotten because people are too busy reading Kendra's bad Cassgrave fics?
MithridaticHardcore said:
Dude, I think she's just sad. You saw it on the news, right? She relapsed.
SocialJusticeMage said:
Well, frankly, I don't feel that bad for a toxic reactionary who hasn't earned her place in the real world, let alone fandom culture.
RealKendraOswald said:
How do I write happiness well, dude? Like, for a shipping fic.
SocialJusticeMage said:
Learn to genuinely love someone in a way where they'll love you back, like a human would.
She closed her laptop, got on her back, and took a deep breath.
He's right, you know, her thoughts told her.
He has you down cold.
Am I incapable of love? she thought.
For the first time since she was five, she prayed.
Jesus, I know I'm...probably not in your good books, but please make me human. Make me normal. Help me get better.
Kendra heard the sound of a call bell and rushed to the kitchen. She wore, uncharacteristically, a baggy t-shirt of Captain America and Bucky Barnes (the hot aged up one from the 2011 film) making out, along with tight wetlook leggings. Her face was, as Dakota had insisted, unpainted. This was meant to be time for Kendra to relax, after all. She got down on her knees and looked up at the woman in the flowing white top with a pleading expression.
Dakota reached onto the counter and took a glazed donut hole, putting it in Kendra's awaiting mouth. She gave Kendra a pat on the head and tousled her hair. Kendra chewed the treat, swallowed, and went to go sit down for dinner. She briefly looked at Peridot Brimstone, who was staring at her owner and Hellish mistress with something resembling the look of a dog ready to greet its master after a day of work, albeit doing so while serving mashed potatoes and steak onto plates with asparagus.
Peridot put the plates out for the three of them, and Kendra spoke. "Geez, Dakota must really have a fetish for girls in glasses," she said, mentally comparing her "sexy librarian glasses" (her words) to Peridot's big and round ones. She heard a slightly higher bell, and Kendra instantly said something positive on command. "I mean, uh, Peridot, I love your whole...bottom...heavy...God, I need to work on my—" She heard the
ding of the bell again. "Fuck! Peridot, you're hot, bang me."
"We're at dinner, and the Princess of Darkness would like us to eat," Peridot said. Peridot wore a collar, leather and heavy, with a goat's-head pentacle dangling off of the front D-ring.
Dakota traced her nails across two of the three bells she'd gotten so far. Kendra had learned to come to dinner, but she hadn't learned to tone down her attitude. Well, she would be taught. "The Princess of Darkness also recognizes that your sorta hypersexual attitude is just a part of who you are, but if you make my Hellbound slave uncomfortable with that attitude we're going to find a way to make sure you keep it to yourself," the non-bespectacled woman said.
Dakota, Kendra noticed, had brought sweet tea to dinner.
What a stereotype, she thought.
Even if sweet tea does taste pretty good. How does she stay so thin if she drinks that all the time? Kendra thought. She started to cut her asparagus into tiny little pieces, just like her mom had taught her.
Err on the side of caution, Kendra, smaller is better, she remembered Liza saying.
The group continued to eat, Kendra seeing Dakota without the horns and Peridot perceiving red skin and bison horns. Hypnosis was a powerful thing, as was loving authority.
They're just humoring me. They're being nice. They want me out, Kendra thought to herself.
"Why are you doing this for me?" Kendra asked.
Dakota finished a bite of steak and spoke. "Everyone deserves to be given love."
"Is everyone able to give love back?" Kendra asked.
"Honey, do you really think you're incapable of being loving?" Dakota asked. Kendra nodded, and Dakota made a
tsk-ing noise. "I'll give you love, unconditional love, okay? How's that sound? You can learn from my example."
Kendra looked down at her plate.
"Little imp, is everything alright?" Dakota asked, affecting class.
"Just got some mean comments on a fic of mine," Kendra said, feeling like she was admitting to her mom that she got a D in Social Studies.
"What kind of comments?" Dakota asked, toying with Peridot's pentacle tag.
"Someone said I was bad at writing happy people because I don't get them, since I'm toxic," Kendra said.
Dakota took a bite of her asparagus and gave Kendra a sympathetic glance that she was convinced she didn't deserve. "Are you on antidepressants?"
Kendra shook her head.
Dakota continued. "Why aren't you?"
"I never thought I needed them."
Dakota gave a little smile. "Little imp, it hurts to have your flaws shown to everyone, doesn't it?"
"You can say that again," Kendra said, blushing. It wasn't a sub thing, it was a Dakota thing, definitely.
"Well, you can't argue with people like that. All you can do is prove them wrong, and the reason you prove them wrong is so you can prove you wrong. Now, why don't you finish your meal, and I'll give you and Peridot lots of pets and treats?"
Kendra blushed deeper.