[x] Speak to Four. Pick up the stupid fluffy thing, place him on your bed, and talk. Run through everything you know, every detail you've picked up in this whirlwind of insanity. Maybe putting it all into words will help you make sense of it, and at least talking to Four will let you figure things out without embarrassing yourself in front of a real person.
"Four!"
A moment of silence. You sigh and roll on your side, blindly reaching down until your fingers touch his furry belly. He squeaks as you scoop him up one handed. Little legs churning the air. You roll back over and hold him above you, eyeing him blearily. His coat's so thick your hands have almost vanished inside. He wiggles and squirms against your grip, fragile ribs pressing against your palms. You gingerly set him down on your chest.
There's an ache in your muscles. Like the sinews been turned to elastic, the tendons to warm rubber. Your arms are half-limp. Your stomach, your sternum, it feels like they're smouldering. Lines of heat worming through the red fibres of meat. You reek of smoke and dried sweat. You need to take a shower. You need to find some food. You need to talk to Medea, Luvia, Marche, Rider, and-
"Fou-four!"
Short white claws poke your cheek as the dog-cat-fox-
thing paws at your face. You reach up and scritch the ruff of fur around his neck. He leans into your touch. He seems to enjoy it.
"...Who do you even belong to? You're not Marche's are you? And Madam Da Vinci would have known if you were Professor Uvall's. Are you Luvia's?" You try to imagine Luvia owning something so delicate and frail. You snort to yourself, first hints of a smile tugging up the corners of your lips. A thought crosses your mind. The smile slowly fades.
"Were you Miss Olga Marie's?"
Four just cocks his head, haunches rising and falling in time with his breathing.
"Is there even anyone on the other end?"
"Four!"
"...As you say then." You fall quiet for a moment. Considering. "I've never had a pet you know. Oh I've been trained to handle familiars but it's not the same. I've never had colleagues like this before either. Coworkers. Oh, there were students I knew at the Clocktower and sometimes there were collaborative projects but, heh, it's not the same either I suppose."
You slump back against your pillow.
"I...I don't know if I hate this place or not. It's insane. I've been here a day, if that, and the place has already been almost leveled. And that's just the start! I saw, I saw the end of the
world! I almost died! Several times! There are three heroes from antiquity who all look to me now but two of them barely wear any
clothes and one of them's a demigoddess from ancient Greece and if I don't figure something out soon she's going to start firing manablasts through the walls and I don't think this building can
take much more."
Half-curled fingers through your short hair. Your free hand limply smacks against the mattress. You're not used to these kinds of outbursts, these unrestrained displays. Feels as if you've been having a lot of them recently. Still, you have to admit, you feel a little better venting. The nascent throbbing behind your eyes has bled away. Now you only feel like cold, congealed garbage. Which is, admittedly, a distinct step up.
"And then the thing pretending to be Professor Uvall is apparently answering to some hidden master of his own." You mutter, more to yourself than anything. "So it's just lovely all around."
Four carefully lies down. Belly warm, slowly expanding and contracting, through your shirt and against your chest. He rests his chin on his extended forepaws, a fluffy white pillow for his head. You meet his gaze (how hard, it's an animal) and try to decipher is furry little thoughts. You imagine it's a look of sympathy. As if, hobbled by his rather limited vocabulary, he's attempting to silently console you. You pat him in appreciation, scritching the peak of his skull between his big, fuzzy ears. He leans into it, eyes half-closing. He doesn't have the facial structure for it but you imagine that he's smiling.
"... I don't know why that spirit chose me," you say. It takes even you by surprise. Four gives you a look like he's hanging on your every word. "Luvia is the senior magus, by at least a decade. She's a veteran of the Grail War. She evidently
knows how to fight already. Why wouldn't it fuse with her? Just imagine. If she were Shielder, we would..."
You sigh. "I don't know. I don't know about most things any more. All I know is that more and more I'm starting to think that that Spirit only chose me out of pity. And I wonder if, were Luvia to have become Shielder in my place, I would have a place in the fight right now. I wonder if, were I still human, I would be in Marche's position. Standing around. Watching. Unable to do anything. Were it not for that shield acting as a Mystic Code my magecraft would be laughable against a Servant."
"Four." It's very difficult to sound solemn when the only word you can say is squeaked out like a child's toy, but Four makes a valiant effort at it. He shuffles a little further up your chest, reaching up with one paw to gently bat your chin. "Four, four?"
You tilt your head back and screw your eyes shut tight for a moment. "I... don't know. Damn it, I have too many reasons to say that now. I'm just stumbling around in the dark, hoping the next thing I grab will stop me from blundering into something else. How am I supposed to do the work of fifty people? Fifty people. Fifty magi. Fifty magi of some ability or renown and fifty Servants summoned by each and every one of them. I have
three or, well, two if Einzbern and Matou have anything to say about it. And
God knows how reliable my mana output is any more but sustaining even one Servant is meant to be trouble and I have to look after my
own existence now as a Demi-Servant and..."
You tilt your head up to look at Four again. "You have it easy. I've seen animals around, driving to and from the Clock Tower. Seen them as the less exotic familiars, too. Cats are likely the closest. I never see them move. They always just lounge around, nothing on their mind, waiting to be fed. No cares at all. No self-awareness. No one expecting any of them because they're just an animal, nobody expects anything from an animal. Right now, if someone offered me the chance to trade places with you, I'd seriously consider it."
"Four-four!" Four shakes his head vigorously. You chuckle slightly.
"I see you know how good you have it already. Not about to give it up for... well, all of this." You gesture at yourself.
Four stands with a stretch, reaches out a forepaw, and bats your nose. "Four."
"I suppose all this self-pity won't change anything. Waste of time, really."
Four shakes his head again. "Four."
"Agree to disagree."
Four squeaks with a tone of reluctant agreement. You groan, cricking your neck to the left and right, and carefully slide your hands under Four's middle to scoop the furry creature off your chest. He goes limp as he's hoisted into the air, weakly dogpaddling as if he can find purchase by swimming through the air. A somewhat worried squeak escapes him.
"I won't drop you," you reassure him. "I have steady hands. Dropping things tends to go poorly in a workshop."
You set Four down beside you and slide off the bed. You feel moderately disgusting for having slept in your clothes without taking a shower, but at least you aren't a hair's breadth from passing out with a needle of pain intermittently prodding your frontal lobe. You ruffle your stiff, still-ashy hair sleepily and feel around for the button on your wall. The cool plastic depresses and the door slides open.
"You can leave now if you want."
Four plants his rear on your rumpled covers, the fur making is back end look twice as wide as his shoulders. "Four."
You smile a little. "Alright then. I won't be long."
The en suite is quite modest and on the cramped side of small, but it serves its purpose. It's hard to mess up hot water for a tired body. Your filthy clothes simply dissipate into mana when you take them off - it seems a fringe benefit of Demi-Servant-hood is a reduced laundry bill. You wish that benefit extended to your now-grey bedsheets. But then you get under the spray of hot water (thank every deity that has or will ever exist that the hot water works after those bombs) and your troubles retreat to a comfortable distance. Your tension-knotted muscles relax just that extra fraction more. Your thoughts don't seem quite so sluggish with hot water slashing through the caked-on, sweat-mixed ash in your hair and on your skin. You feel like a human being again. Or at least half of one. You stay in until the water finally stops running black and turns clear, then stay in a little longer. When you step out of the shower cubicle you feel... better. All-around a hair's breadth closer to being ready to face the day.
You stand there naked for a few seconds and scratch your chin awkwardly, wondering how the clothing situation is going to work. A few seconds more, and the solution thankfully presents itself. Your 'Servant' outfit spins itself into being around you, clean as if freshly laundered in the extradimensional space Servants keep all their things. You adjust the fit, but it's only habit. It all fits you perfectly. You step back into your room and half-wave at the waiting Four.
"Four!" he says approvingly.
Your eye is drawn to the beside table. The phone you were left has come to life again, a red box bright against the neutrally-coloured screen. You pick it up, awkwardly rubbing your thumb this way and that across the screen, tapping a few times, until you get the right combination of arcane gestures. Another message from Einzbern appears beneath the former.
'I'm sorry I forgot to tell you earlier. Just realized that you might be pretty interested to know. Medea is in B4. Leonardo rigged up a containment cell in some of the old storage rooms. Brought down dormitory furniture so it's not just putting her in a box and locking it. Last I heard she was still unconscious. Seems what she went through in that singularity really took it out of her. If you want to go see her, I understand. Shinji and I are here on the ground floor if you want us. Luvia's down in the B3 training room, so I'd recommend you bring an EOD suit if you want to go talk to her. If Marche isn't in her room she's probably just wandering, so don't be too worried.
-Alfons.'
You check the time. 8:10. Not bad, all things considered.
"I should probably get going. No sense waiting in here until the briefing."
Four hops up on his hind legs and prods at your arm. "Four! Four!" He scrabbles, blunt little claws raking down your toughened skin. Even you can tell he wants to come with you. You think about it for a moment. Then you think about it some more. Then you crouch down and offer your hands cupped together, arms bent in a sort of 'bucket' shape. Four hops on. You grunt.
"Quite heavy for a small thing."
"Four!" Four squeaks in offense.
You lift him up to about chest height, his fur tickling your nose. He squirms for purchase, stubby legs waddling in the wind, before he manages to get a 'grip' on your shoulder. He pulls himself up with all his strength, balancing precariously on your left shoulder. He tries to find a more stable position, leaning against your ear like half of a pair of very warm earmuffs, before sort of going limp like a draped scarf. You give him one more appreciative pat before you pocket (you suspect the pockets are an anachronism for your benefit) the phone and hit the button once more. You step out into the hallway, ready for the day. A bit.
[ ] See Medea on B4. If anyone's doing a wake-up call, it might as well be you.
[ ] See Leonardo on B5. She's got her finger on the pulse, and you have to admit she intrigues you.
[ ] Call Rider to speak to him. Now that you've unwound, you should be ready to handle him. Should.
[ ] Call everyone together to introduce Saber and get briefing out of the way. Might as well, while your mood holds.
[ ] See Dr. Matou on this level. Best get a handle on this 'Demi-Servant' thing early.
[ ] See Einzbern on this level. He seems to be emerging as the new de facto director, so it's probably best to get up-to-speed with him.
[ ] See Luvia on B3. She's still technically your direct superior, and a better working relationship with her couldn't hurt. Besides, you probably need a trip to the training facilities anyway.
[ ] See if you can find Marche. You've had a heart-to-heart with her pet, may as well go see how she's taking everything.
[ ] Go investigate that mysterious 'pest problem' the staff mentioned. Probably nothing, given the trivial things mundanes usually concern themselves with, but there's still a chance it's something worth looking into.