Sunday's Melancholy, 13:04
"I didn't exactly make it up," she said, forcing an upbeat lilt into her words. "It's just that Su remembers Japanese, so even if I don't…"
Utau's face crumpled, and Ikuto grimaced.
Amu looked between the two of them, trying to read their feelings through their faces. When she'd tried to cheer them up, this hadn't been what she'd hoped for, but if even a positive spin on the truth had this effect… she felt helpless. Judging by the way even Iru looked downcast, Utau's real feelings were even stronger than they looked. Utau's devilish guardian chara was for once making peace with Eru, trying ineffectively to cheer her up. Ikuto was unreadable as always, but even he seemed disturbed.
It wasn't like being unable to understand them hadn't upset her. Rather, if she wasn't keeping a tight lid on her emotions she'd have curled up in a corner, and she'd almost ended up doing that anyway until her outer character had taken over. To the face she showed the rest of the world, the most important thing was to seem cool and unaffected, but beneath that she felt numb. She'd mentally curled up, waiting for the next gut-punch to hit her. What would happen next? It'd turn out she'd actually died, and turned into a ghost?
With her own duplicate body leaned against the wall, that didn't seem quite as unlikely as she'd have liked.
She didn't understand why they seemed to care so much. Yoru was nowhere to be seen, but Ikuto looked like he was also retreating into himself, while Utau… Utau was biting her lip and watching her charas, who were in the middle of an intense looking discussion. She had to do something, otherwise the atmosphere would only turn darker.
Amu took a deep breath, steeling herself as well as possible.
"Um, so…" She started, trailing off weakly as she realised she had little idea what to say to cheer them up, and they didn't seem inclined to help. Worse still, she realised as she felt her lips quivering, she was on the verge of tears. Da-drat it. Demons, transformations going haywire, almost killing herself holding Kagutsuchi at bay, even the horrible awkwardness of this conversation… she…
"I've had it," she found herself saying, her voice brittle and un-Amu-like. "I… no, what am I saying. I didn't mean…" Utau and her were practically strangers, probably enemies or at least rivals, and no matter what Mom thought she
couldn't let Ikuto see her like this. She hadn't even decided what he was to her yet. Definitely not a brother.
At that thought, her mind involuntarily filled with the image of Ikuto's face nearly touching hers. That was something that in better circumstances would have elicited a fierce blush, but she just shook her head to clear it. She didn't have the motivation for anything like that. She was increasingly unsure what, if anything, she did have motivation for.
She wanted to see Mom, or Dad. Someone she could let down her guard around. Ran would have told her to be honest with them… but Ran was sleeping, and she couldn't make herself do so on her own. Not with Ikuto.
"- Dumbass. Eru, go ahead and do it. This is your thing."
So with Ikuto seemingly at loss for words, and Utau frozen over by the elevator, she found herself wandering zombie-like over to her other body, standing over it without knowing what to do next. It was a lot like looking in a mirror, but mirrors never gave her this kind of perspective. Huh, she was a total beanstalk. Was she really that thin?
"Is that really okay? Won't she be mad?"
"It's fine, just do it! Ikuto-niichan's completely useless in situations like this!"
"Well, okay…"
She could just barely make out Eru and Iru's whispers, though not their meaning. Mind glazing over, she reached out to touch herself, feeling the warm skin of her cheek. Should she try to wake her? What would happen?
"
Chara Change!"
…Eh?
She straightened up, looking at Utau. At Utau and Eru; the latter had settled down on Utau's shoulder, looking determined. Utau, for her part, looked mostly resigned. She was standing at an angle to her, letting her see the illusory pair of angel wings she was sporting on her back. Which was to say, she'd Chara Changed with Eru?
Amu slowly came back to life. Meanwhile Utau took one step towards her, then another, until she was nearly running. There was just enough time to raise her arms in a half-hearted attempt to block her before -
They collided, Utau sneaking in between Amu's arms and wrapping hers around her in a hug. Amu stumbled backwards, taken completely off balance, but found that Utau wouldn't let her fall. She was hugging her rather tightly, almost uncomfortably so. Eh?
Eh?
"Utau-chan?" She asked, feeling bewildered.
"Don't say anything, idiot. You'll make me regret this more than I'm already doing," Utau muttered. "Did you think I enjoyed seeing you like that? You… you big idiot, you don't need to take everything on yourself." Her arms tightened further, until Amu could feel herself creaking, and they sank slowly to the floor. "Did you think I wouldn't notice? You're as transparent as glass, idiot. Did you think…" Utau was trembling. "Do you know what's going on up there? I thought you'd failed. Su was frantic. Did… you didn't fail, did you? I tried to call Yukari, but I couldn't get through…" Yukari was her manager, right?
She didn't know what was happening. Su hadn't known, she'd just known something was wrong; that was enough that she'd hurry back to help. She didn't know if she'd failed, and she didn't know how to reassure Utau, who seemed to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She didn't even know how to reassure herself. She saw Iru comforting a crying Eru behind Utau's back, the devil-girl hardly any better off herself.
Amu finally gave in and hugged the older girl back, feeling her eyes glistening. That just opened the floodgates, as Utau's trembling gave way to full-body shudders and loud sobs, quickly eroding Amu's own resistance. She suppressed a whimper.
"We'd both already be dead if she'd failed, so I'm pretty sure she didn't," Ikuto said from just above her. When did he get there?
Utau muttered to herself. "Oh, I'm definitely going to regret this later. Eru, don't you dare release the chara change yet." She released Amu for just long enough to reach up and grab Ikuto, forcefully pulling him down on top of them. Amu froze.
"Well, Ikuto? Aren't you going to hug your cute little sister in her hour of need?" She asked loudly. Her voice trembled enough to make it clear that she wasn't joking.
"If it'll make you accept you're my sister, then sure," he agreed. "Amu, you don't mind?"
"I meant Amu," Utau grumbled, not very convincingly.
Did she mind? Well, normally it'd be way too embarrassing to ask for, but right now… and if Utau also wanted… He wasn't Dad, but he'd do. She looked pleadingly at Ikuto, her face the perfect picture of misery, and he quickly gave in. As she felt his arms wrapping around them, she wondered if this "big brother" thing was really such a bad idea. It felt… nice, and Utau seemed to be calming down a little.
The room shook again, harder than before. Utau - no, Eru screamed, Utau just turned into a statue until it passed. She felt scared. What was happening? She wished she could ask her passenger.
"Utau, what's happening upstairs?" She asked.
"I don't know," she whispered. "I thought it was the end of the world. The sky turned red, twisted in on itself… I can't explain it." Utau shook her head in frustration. "Everything
bent."
Had she failed after all, then? Or was this just part of… Fumi had said they could save Japan, and she hadn't thought too much about what that meant for everyone else. Hadn't wanted to think about it, to be honest, but maybe this was something she'd expected?
The floor jerked, and her perception of colours twisted for a long second. Amu involuntarily whimpered, clinging tightly to Utau. The elevator buzzed, then settled into a drawn-out complaining alarm.
Where… where were her…
"Ran? Miki?" She plaintively called out, twisting around to search as best she could without letting go.
"Here," Yoru called from almost directly behind her. "Don't worry, I've got them. They're still unconscious, though."
Amu sighed, relaxing a little. That was fine, then.
The floor jerked again. She heard a loud curse from Fumi.
———————
Every minute or two the world shook, her perception twisting until it passed. Fumi had it under control, she had to assume that, but it wasn't letting up. Each time they clung to each other until it passed, Utau's hands tightening on her back, and eventually Utau's soft sobs met their match in Amu's slightly louder crying.
She felt horrible. Both in the sense that she hurt all over, though she'd mostly been ignoring that, and because she still didn't know if she'd succeeded or not. Ikuto's arms helped a lot, though, and somehow crying made her feel much better than when she'd held it in.