- Location
- Singapore
- Pronouns
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I think you meant body. Interesting comic and the review is very funny.
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Doom's Day Has Come! (Let's Read Marvel's Doctor Doom)
- Thread starter Roarian
- Start date
- Comics
095: Secret Wars #8 - Invasion!
- Location
- Netherlands
095: Marvel Super Heroes - Secret Wars #8 (December 1984)
Cover
Well, howdy iconic cover! We've arrived at another famous image, this being the origin issue of Spider-Man's famous black costume, which would eventually lead the supervillain Venom when its nature as a symbiotic organism was revealed, and later Carnage and all the other symbiotes that would spawn from there. Technically this is not the debut of the costume, as Secret Wars was published throughout the years while comics were already coming out that took place in a post-Secret Wars setting. Readers got to read stories with this version of Spider-Man months before they ever discovered its origin, and much the same is true for various continuity changes in books like Fantastic Four, which had its own shake ups due to Secret Wars fallout. I have to admit, though, that tagline isn't that interesting, and if this costume didn't turn out to be extremely significant later on, it probably would've just been another one of those weird eighties relics. Ah well, here we are!
Story Overview
Invasion!
We open, as you might imagine, with the entire lineup of heroes rushing off towards Doombase to avenge the death of one of their own, and to help She-Hulk, who went ahead by herself. Unlike the other various groups, they move by foot, or by jetboot, hammer, superpower, or giant flying piece of ground - whichever seemed appropriate. Soon Doombase looms menacingly on the horizon, it all its bulbous, weird glory. Unknowingly echoing Doctor Doom's observation when the villains first executed a sneak attack on the heroes, Reed wonders why Doom isn't sending out a sortie to blunt their attack. Could they be coming in unnoticed? The Thing asks Thor to think of some corny oath and smash a wall in, but the Thunder God isn't feeling it - he prays they have but a single person to avenge. Dark, man.
Inside Doombase, we catch up with the Enchantress - who's completely out of her gourd after drinking herself into a stupor. Wow. She slurs her words as she recognizes the sounds of Thor's hammer smashing down the walls, and concludes that clearly 'thish war is not working out ver' well…' She commands an innkeeper to fetch her another flagon of mead, and when nobody comes to bring her any, she decides she'll have to conjure up her own mead - or her own innkeeper!
First though, she wants to see what this Thor thing is about, and conjures up an image of him. She opines that Thor believes this war is what he was born for, a chance to win glory, while he imagines it as a chance at redemption for Amora herself. But Thor is a fool, and when she offered to give a try at giving up her evil ways in return for a kiss, she would surely have caught him with the sorcerous power of her lips.
Except… is that really true? Getting unsteadily to her feet, the Enchantress admits that perhaps, instead of that, her malicious will might have buckled, since her heart ultimately belongs to the mighty Thor. A kiss like that, some glimmer of hope that she might ever win his love fairly, could have been enough for her to try Thor's way. But now the chance is lost, alas! Does that mean she'll fight against him again, though? She stumbles and falls to the ground, incapable of even remaining upright. She wonders if she'll crawl and beg to him instead - behold now the mighty Enchantress, laid low…
In the infirmary we catch up with Volcana, who is busy tending to the injured Molecule Man, now wrapped in thick bandages but still unconscious. She promises she'll protect him, and that she'll kill anyone who dares to come in - especially that Wolverine guy that cut him up! He'll get his! Meanwhile, down in the dungeons, Klaw springs Lizard from his cell. Klaw explains that he spent a long time as a prisoner inside Galactus' ship, and that's why he can't stand seeing people trapped.. It drove him mad, you know! Mad-ad-ad! Also, he just kind of loves the way the Lizard talks…!
Elsewhere in the fortress we return to last issue's beat-down of the She-Hulk, with a crowd of seven villains still gathered around her. They suddenly hear the crack of thunder in the distance, and Absorbing Man immediately makes the connection, realizing that it means Thor is approaching - the heroes must be busting in to find them! Wrecker says they're not ready for that kind of face-off, but Titania wonders what there's to get ready for - just bash their faces in! The villains rush off to the new threat, but Doc Ock looks back at She-Hulk, figuring it's best to finish her off. Picking her up with his tentacles, he then viciously slams her head-first into a slab of metal debris, before departing after the others. There, one less enemy to be concerned with!
In a corridor some distance away, Ultron stands vigil in front of his master's quarter. Inside, the seared and tattered ruin of Doctor Doom tries to shove himself upright without much success. He's still smoking, smoldering, holding his head in agony as cosmic energies slowly fade. He paid a heavy price for his transgressions. Meanwhile, back with the heroes, we see them burst into the base at speed, with Captain Marvel leading the charge and announcing she'll do a lightspeed-search for She-Hulk, who is their top priority. Next up is Iron Man, who gets taken by surprise when the Wrecker suddenly pops around a corner and nails him with his magic crowbar. Iron Man counts himself lucky that it wasn't someone else that came first, since they might've been cut in half by that blow - as it is, the armor was damaged and his ribs hurt. He aims his hand-repulsor and blasts the Wrecker away from him in a wave of force.
Doctor Octopus uses the environment to his advantage and rends open a water reservoir over the Human Torch's head while the Absorbing Man declares that they should 'trash their butts!' Reed catches the doused Torch, but Bulldozer rushes in to follow up, declaring that Johnny will simply be a bloody swear on the wall instead of the floor. Spider-Man interrupts that charge, knocking Bulldozer unconscious with a single punch, and Absorbing Man realizes that Spider-Man might be slightly above his pay grade. Quickly grabbing a wall constructed out of alien metal, Creed absorbs its properties and prepares for the fight of his life. Swinging his huge ball-and-chain around, he dares Spidey to dodge - which he narrowly does, though he ends up ripping his costume.
Figuring Absorbing Man should pick on someone as ugly as himself - which would leave him with nobody to face off with - the Thing intervenes on Spidey's behalf. Suddenly his rocky skin is fading, though, and once more he's reduced to being simply Ben Grimm at the least opportune time possible. Absorbing Man tosses the now harmless hero aside and prepares to smack him with his weapon, but this time it's Spider-Woman who intervenes, picking up the metal-clad villain and smashing him bodily into the nearest wall. Absorbing Man has no clue who just attacked him, but he knows it's some broad that he'll take care of as soon as somehow peels himself out of that damn wall! Which is when Spider-Woman slams his own weapon into his face, knocking him unconscious. Spider-Woman briefly celebrates her victory, admitting this was only her fifth-ever fight. The new Spider-Woman wins again!
Nearby, Piledriver of the Wrecking Crew goes after Hawkeye, who warn him to stay back. Piledriver asks why, pointing out that bullets bounce off his skin and Hawkeye's down to his last arrow - and for a man who allegedly never misses, he hasn't hit yet. One arrow isn't much between him and a man who can crush Cadillacs with his fists, is it? He mocks 'Hawkeye the Archer', noting they'll need Hawkeye the M.A.S.H. doctor real soon, because he's gonna mash Hawkeye! That was painful. The hero says the rest were just warning shots, since he doesn't actually want to hurt Piledriver - and from this distance, from his bow, an arrow would hit a hell of a lot harder than a bullet! Piledriver is not convinced and storms in - and an arrow lodges itself deep into the villain's shoulder. 'Lordy, I'm wounded!' he cries, stumbling off in confusion and panic. Well, that was kind of embarrassing...
The Hulk, meanwhile, crashes into the Enchantress' room, who appears to have sobered up a little. Hulk isn't sure what he should do now, and the Enchantress takes immediate advantage by declaring she's but a helpless female, and he's the mighty Hulk, so what's the problem? She approaches him, and Hulk warns her he doesn't want to hit her, that she shouldn't force him to do it… She just asks him if she's not the most beautiful woman he's ever laid eyes on? He should stare into her eyes, and love her! The Hulk soon succumbs to her tricks, and crumples to the floor in a faint. Enchantress smugly smirks at the 'mortal cretin' she disabled, and pours herself a new glass of mead.
Captain America soon makes his way to the Enchantress as well, and she offers him a flagon of mead too, but he just wants to know what's been done to the Hulk. The Enchantress explains that he's merely asleep, doubtlessly dreaming of her. But alas, he can never have her, because she is the Captain's! Isn't that right? She reaches out her arms, inviting him in - but Cap is not so easily controlled. Realizing his will is too strong, Amora goes for more conventional methods, blasting at him with beams of magic while he uses his speed and agility to swiftly leap out of the way. He then rushes her, and Amora plays up her act, wondering if he would really strike a woman - upon which Cap knocks her unconscious with his shield. Nice. He admits to her fainted body that he wouldn't have hit her unless he had no other choice, but he's all too aware how dangerous she can be. As another few heroes come into the room, Cap and Johnny Storm rush off to find Doom.
Elsewhere, Titania is shoving a gigantic metal girder towards a ledge overlooking an ongoing battle below, but is caught from behind by Spider-Man, who leaps over Titania's super-strong attacks, even when she starts punching down entire walls to try and get at him. She declares she won't lose to a scrawny runt like him - she used to be small, the shrimp who got her face wiped in the dirt! Now she's powerful, and she's going to make it count! Everybody better look out for her now, because she'll crush little shrimp like him! She tosses huge chunks of metal and tries to smack Spidey down with them, and it looks like she just might succeed…
Hawkeye discovers Ben Grimm, once more without his powers, and asks him where the battle went - he seems to have been left behind. Ben isn't quite sure, but he points in the general direction he saw people go, which turns out to be towards the dungeons. There they come across Klaw, and they stay hidden while they try to come up with ways to take down a sound-based villain, since Hawkeye's straight out of trick-arrows. They're suddenly spotted by the Lizard, however, and now they're trapped between two bad guys. Ben asks Hawkeye if he has any bright ideas on how to deal with this, and the latter suggests they try to outwit the villainous duo. Ben just stares. 'Outwit them? Us?'
Back in the infirmary, Volcana activates her powers when she hears rapid feet approaching. The first person who shows his face, she decides, will get it fried clean off! Molecule Man suddenly stirs, mumbling his girlfriend's name, and she's relieved to hear his voice again - but he shouldn't worry, mama will protect him! Um. Molecule Man says he wants to help out - they'll annihilate the heroes together! As Reed Richards and Iron Man make their way to the infirmary in search of enemies, they're suddenly blown back by an enormous explosion of fiery heat - Volcana kept her word, though Reed managed to narrowly save his face. Iron Man throws himself into the room heedlessly, and Reed calls him back - even his armor isn't strong enough to withstand Volcana's plasma-generated heat!
Molecule Man pitches in by conjuring up an invisible shield around them, solidifying the air into an ultra-hard barrier. Volcana thanks him, but says she didn't really need the assistance - Iron Man's armor is already smoldering! Iron Man, meanwhile, is nearly overheated with all his cooling systems overtaxed, and many circuits fused or burnt out. Sheeoot! Volcana goes in for another blast, and requesting a gunport in the shield from her boyfriend, who quickly complies. Reed narrowly drags the armored Avenger out of the literal line of fire, burning his hands in the process, while Thor throws Mjolnir and bounces it harmlessly off the shield. It's no joke!
Volcana is pissed off that she missed, naturally, but Reece just tells him she'll have another shot - they can pick them off at leisure since they're quite safe behind his invisible shield. Which is when Captain Marvel suddenly appears behind him, inside the shield, with her arm around his neck. The shield's not invisible, she explains, it's just transparent. Meaning it lets light through, including her when she's using her powers! Reece screams as Captain Marvel unintentionally tears his wounds back open with her rough treatment, and Volcana drops her lava-form to rush to his side, surrendering to stop them from hurting her poor baby. The heroes evidently weren't even aware Molecule Man was badly wounded, despite the whole 'covered in bandages and housed in the infirmary' thing that he has going on. Go figure.
Spider-Man narrowly avoids the huge block of metal that Titania slams down towards him, and she declares nobody could move that fast. Spidey cheekily replies: 'nobody else.' He then wonders just why a lady who can juggle locomotives would find Spider-Man's talents quite so surprising. Is it just because he's small? With a little room to operate, he explains, nobody can lay a hand on him - not the X-Men, not the Absorbing Man, and not her either. How did she think he survived this long? Spidey starts smashing Titania around, avoiding her sluggish hits and dealing out strong ones in return. She soon gets frustrated and starts whining that it's not fair. Stop it, stop it, stop it! Spidey tells her that she aspired to be a bully, and it seems she succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. She talks nasty when she has the upper hand, but when she's losing, the whining wimp inside comes spilling out! Spidey tosses her away, straight out the side of the building, and she falls a few hundred feet down to the ground, finally slumping into a faint, still muttering: 'not… fair!'
Cap and Torch come across an unconscious Piledriver who's fainted, presumably from blood loss as Hawkeye's arrow is still lodged in his shoulder. They're then nearly killed when Ultron suddenly shows up to blast them with lasers. They deduce that this means Doom is probably nearby, since Ultron's his personal bodyguard, and decide they'll take out this threat. Cap uses his shield to wade his way closer to Ultron despite the lasers, while Johnny uses his agility to do the same, then unleashes his fire. To his dismay Ultron refuses to melt, and the robot smugly announces that he's made of indestructible adamantium - and he's mechanically precise and computer-swift, too! He is perfect! Johnny figures there's some ego in there as well, but before he can come up with any more quips Ultron manages to grab him out of the air and starts choking him with all his robotic strength.
Captain America orders Johnny to unleash his most powerful Nova-flames, but Johnny protests, since such a release of energy could kill Cap too at such a close range. Cap insists, shielding himself from the inferno behind his, well, mighty shield. In a cataclysmic burst of heat Johnny goes up like a volcano, and the hunched form of his fellow hero almost fades from view in the white heat. The entire hallway has melted to slag next we see it, but Cap survived and makes his way to a huge crater that's been seared into the base. He finds Johnny at the bottom, sans flames, next to the intact but unconscious body of Ultron. Although even Nova-level heat couldn't affect Adamantium, it seems something else inside him must have overheated and taken Ultron out. Cap tells Johnny to rest for a few minutes while he heads on.
Second later Captain America rushes into Doctor Doom's personal chambers, fist raised to take on the tin-plated tyrant. Looks like it's come down to him and Doom, as it was meant to be! Only… the Doctor isn't looking so hot. Still smoking and clutching his head, blind to the world around him, even repeated calls don't budge the villain from his pitiable slump. Cap decides that whatever happened to the man, it very nearly killed him, and he's still completely out of it. As it is, he's harmless!
Down in the dungeon, Reed walks in on a most peculiar scene imaginable. As it turns out, Ben Grimm and Hawkeye have found a… creative way of dealing with Klaw and the Lizard. Yeah. They apparently challenged the pair to a game of freaking patty-cake, and evidently it worked. It's far better than violence, Ben proclaims, and Klaw concurs: 'Right-ite-ite!' Lizard hisses a threat to the new arrivals: disturb the game and the Lizard will destroy them! Once they finish, then he'll do as the heroes say. This is so thoroughly dumb and silly…
In a rather jarring whiplash of mood, we switch over to Captain Marvel finding the bleeding, nearly dead She-Hulk. She cries in horror seeing what the villains have done to the poor woman and quickly brings her to the infirmary, where Reed and Captain America have reconvened. The former still has a bit of trouble with his hands which he burned catching Iron Man, but there's too much to do to really worry about it - he's got people to heal on both sides of the conflict! He admits there wasn't much he could do for Doctor Doom, since the alien machines wouldn't work through the man's armor, and it'd take weeks to get him out of it without risking setting off all sorts of booby-traps. As such, they've decided to just put him in a cell for the time being. Reed takes a moment to wonder about Doom's presence in the Secret Wars, explaining to Cap that he was present when Doom recently died. He's not sure how he could be alive and present for the Beyonder's game - but he supposes not much can surprise him anymore after all the things he's seen.
Captain America notes that he's almost as surprised that She-Hulk survived such a brutal beating, and Reed cautions him that it was a close thing, and even the alien technology could not have saved her if they'd arrived much later. He wishes there was time to analyze all these machines for use back home, but for the moment he's content to use them to save their ally's life. Losing one Avenger was already too much to bear, never mind more. Cap admits he feels guilty about Wasp's death, figuring there was something he could have done, and Reed tries to comfort him by supporting his leadership. Nobody could have led them better, or more wisely!
Back in the dungeon Hawkeye muses that he wished they could have locked Klaw and the Lizard up together, since they were getting to be such good friends. Hulk tells him that just because they're insane doesn't mean they're not still dangerous which… sure, but that's not what Hawkeye was talking about, was it? Thor returns to tell the others that Doom is secure, and that's the last of the villains accounted for. Captain Marvel says that the restraints are a bit nasty, but strong, and the Hulk declares that he doesn't mind if the Enchantress suffers a little. Thor just comforts him by saying that she's beguiled many before, even him a couple times! Hawkeye and Captain Marvel then decide they're going to fetch Wasp's body because this is now their base, and they should be able to hold a proper funeral here.
Back in Zsaji's village, we catch up with Colossus running through the streets holding the unconscious body of the healer, and bringing her back to her personal hut. He tells her he'll take care of her as she took care of him, lamenting that he doesn't have the same power of healing with his bare hands - he's not even sure what's wrong! Realizing he might have a way to find out, he spots the nearby hookah that Johnny told him about, the one that facilitated a recap a few issues ago. He releases the odors that connect minds, and soon enough he experiences a surge of Zsaji's memories, depicting her failed attempt at healing the Wasp, as well as the enraged and grief-stricken faces of the Avengers. It then goes on to show Zsaji returning to the Wasp's side and pouring her very life force into the woman until she can barely stand...
Colossus realizes the truth of the matter - the failed healing of the Wasp wasn't because she was dead, but because she was in some sort of death-like stasis! When the effect eventually wore off, Zsaji healed Wasp's wounds to the point that she nearly lost her own life in the attempt. All that for a stranger from another world that she'd never even spoken to before! Colossus wonders if there's anyone else out there that is Zsaji's equal, and proclaims his love. At the nearby hut, meanwhile, the newly arrived Hawkeye and Captain Marvel are shocked to discover that rumors of the Wasp's death were greatly exaggerated. They find her sitting upright and snarking at them, and they exclaim their happiness to see her alive. Wasp's eyes widen in horror, and she suddenly despairs that she doesn't have any make-up on! And her hair must be a right mess! Oh, goodness!
Several miles away, in an alien aircraft parked on a mountain ledge, we see the Magneto and the X-Men holding vigil, just as they promised Captain America last issue. Magneto muses that Galactus might be playing a bluff, acting out the steps of devouring a world while actually preparing some other form of attack that would not be anticipated. Professor X admits he might be right, but they can't afford to divert attention from the obvious threat. Nightcrawler agrees, noting that Galactus' bluff is better than a handful of aces! Suddenly Cyclops perks up, points at the screen, and declares: 'Look, look there!'
Back at Doombase, Reed Richards is busy repairing the damaged armor of Iron Man, having detached an entire arm from the suit so he can do some precision welding. He admits that with all this alien technology he could probably upgrade the armor, but it's still incredibly sophisticated as is. James Rhodes curiously wonders whether Reed had expected a black man under the armor, since his bare arm is now plainly visible. Reed admits that he'd never given it a thought - he just knew a man was under there, and that was it!
Elsewhere in the base Spider-Man comes across the Hulk and Thor, and notices the latter has mysteriously regained his ripped cloak and fancy winged helmet. He's a bit puzzled by this, wondering if the god is hiding a haberdasher somewhere, and Thor explains that it's actually the Hulk's doing. It seems Dr. Banner found a device in the villains' base that creates any sort of clothing, and you just have to think at it to convey what you want it to look like. Spider-Man thanks him for the tip, figuring it's high time he replaced his own rather torn costume, and heads over to the room the two heroes just departed from. When he enters, though, he's not quite sure which one of the fancy gizmos Hulk was talking about, and randomly decides it must be a particular one because it just sort of looks like the right sort of machine? Genius. He climbs up onto the machine, sticks his head into a receptacle, and focuses his mind.
To Spidey's surprise, the machine expels not a costume, but a mysterious blob of black goo that makes his spider-sense tingle... just what's going on here? He's about to get rid of it, when the goo suddenly clamps down on his hand and spreads up his arm before engulfing him entirely.
Spider-Man then looks down at himself and is amazed to discover that the goo completely dissolved his old costume and reformed a new one in its place - but this one is entirely black with a huge white spider on the chest! It's different - but not bad! He wonders why it didn't come out like the old one, since that was what he was thinking about, but decides he must have subconsciously redesigned it to match the new Spider-Woman's costume, which it does indeed resemble.
At that very moment there's a sudden earthquake, and mere moments later a telepathic distress call is sent out by Professor X, who announces that they must all come quickly - Galactus has started devouring the planet!
To be continued...
Rating & Comments
This issue is basically a single extended combat scene in which the heroes finally get to actually show their stuff a little. Given that we're heading towards the endgame of this series and the Galactus plot is finally advancing, it's probably the last hero-villain conflict of the war, and thus I kind of expected them to make up for the dearth of competent heroism here. And that's what we get - for a few heroes. As for the others… not so much. Even in this, the 'heroes win' issue, a solid half of the heroic cast manage to look incompetent. And the tone is a freaking see-saw.
Let's start with the success stories - most notably Spider-Man. Spidey not only shows his mettle in a brief scuffle with the Absorbing Man, who is astounded to find that even his best swing can't hit the wall-crawler, but also goes toe-to-toe with Titania and defeats her. The match is thoroughly uneven, with Spider-Man making a mockery out of a character that, up to this point, has been defeating basically everyone she came across with relative ease. It's fitting that Titania was beaten up by one of the less muscle-bound heroes on account of her rather warped view of the world, though I don't really understand how Spidey could be considered scrawny - he's generally portrayed as pretty ripped. I guess she just means he's got normal proportions rather than comic book bodybuilder ones? Or maybe it's another disconnect between art and description, like with Volcana.
Captain America and the Human Torch both get moments to shine too, with Cap resisting the Enchantress' magic powers and then knocking her out with his shield - although I have to point out that she was pretty much falling-down drunk at the time. The Human Torch, meanwhile, gets to do his Nova trick on a bad guy, and makes it look pretty damn impressive by basically hollowing out the base with his flames and disabling the nigh-unkillable Ultron (though Galactus made it look easier back in Secret Wars #1!) Smaller victories were scored by Captain Marvel - although her heroic effort of taking down Molecule Man by accidentally ripping his stitches is… kind of underwhelming - and Spider-Woman, who squashed the Absorbing Man with his own weapon. I guess she actually got to do something this issue!
So much for the good stuff, though. Now for the bad. Firstly… Hulk. He runs into the base, meets the Enchantress, and promptly gets taken down by a thoroughly drunk supervillain using her most common trick. This is an issue after he got one-shot by Galactus' robot at the beginning of the fight, too. He hasn't exactly been doing that well since his stand-out moment in Secret Wars #4, has he? Even worse, perhaps, is Thor. Can you tell me what he actually did in this issue? He shows up outside combat, sure, and he's there at the Molecule Man battle, but his only contribution to the fighting seems to be grabbing Doc Ock by his tentacles in one panel, and ineffectually throwing his hammer, once. Iron Man isn't much better, stupidly storming into oncoming fire and getting his armor ruined for his trouble. Reed's only act is to drag said stupid Iron Man's ass out of the literal fire...
Finally, then, there's the two remaining heroes I haven't mentioned - the Thing and Hawkeye. I would class the Thing with the ineffectual losers up there for basically instantly reverting to human form and becoming a liability, but… somehow it gets worse. Hawkeye technically wins against Piledriver, but that guy is so hilariously useless in this issue that I'm not sure it counts. He faints at getting hit by a single normal arrow that Hawkeye whittled out of a random stick. Seriously? What sets these two characters apart is that technically they beat two more villains… by playing patty-cake with them. Yup. Because their characterization in this series is that they're mentally challenged weirdos that don't actually give a shit about being bad guys - they're just kind of along for the ride. At least Lizard gets a hilarious line or two out of it, but it's utterly stupid.
One wonders, given previous encounters, how this relatively limp wristed attack still managed to take down all the villains - and honestly it just seems like the heroes took advantage of the fact that they had been sitting around for several issues, while everyone else was actually going around doing things. Just recently Doom was beaten up by Galactus, Molecule Man was sliced up by Wolverine, the Wrecking Crew were beaten up by She-Hulk, and the rest had two battles with the X-Men which tired them out. At this point the heroes would have had to really try to lose, I reckon!
Besides the extended combat scene in this issue, there's also a finale to the whole Wasp subplot that's been running for half the series - and it ends with the completely unsurprising resurrection of the Wasp from her supposed death. I don't think anyone ever would have bought she was actually gone, though, since the comic immediately drew attention to the 'stasis field' thing that the villains used. There was also Zsaji revisiting the hut with Wasp's body when Colossus is looking for her to clue in anyone who didn't catch the first hint. I guess the only reason she ever 'died' was to make the heroes mad enough to attack the villains, though I didn't think they would need much encouragement… The most annoying part, of course, is the characterization of the Wasp - she's a brainless ditz about even this, reacting to her near-death experience by worrying about make-up and getting her hair messed up. Jim Shooter, you suck.
This comic annoyed me with its mood whiplash, actually - it initially frames itself as the heroes taking revenge for the death of one of their own, the Wasp, and a rescue attempt to get She-Hulk back. It then starts inserting blatantly comedic scenes in which heroes joke at each other into the narrative, interspersing depictions of people finding the crumpled remains of their friends with stuff like newbie heroes celebrating their fifth ever knockout or playing dumb games. It feels like the writer forgot that the heroes don't know about the Wasp's revival yet, and just kind of wrote a generic fight without considering context. Actually, do the heroes even find out about her survival? Hawkeye and Captain Marvel are still at Zsaji's village in the end, and the rest of the heroes have to hear about Galactus acting from the X-Men, which would presumably have been pretty obvious to their colleagues too, since the village is located right below the big guy. So what's up with the heroes getting homely in Doombase, joking about captives and making costumes for themselves?
Speaking of costumes… much like last issue, the cover content is irrelevant and barely even comes up. The black costume shows up in like six panels, and only one of those is actually the full thing. Meh. Although there's some good action beats and a few characters get to be badass, this issue felt like the heroes got a freebie and still mostly came off as less than competent. Combine that with the uneven tone and a rather uninspiring Wasp return, and I have a hard time giving this a good score. An utter lack of Doom doesn't help matters either - he only shows up for a few panels doing nothing! I guess I only covered this issue because skipping one issue in the middle would be really weird for a series like this. You know what, I'll go there. … 2 stars! Not a fan!
Best Panel(s) of the Issue
I quite like this panel of Titania pulling a Sasuke Uchiha on a wall and Spidey just effortlessly evading it, heh.
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
*Tumbleweed*
Absorbin' Man Is Priceless
"No prisoners! Trash their butts!"
"A broad! As soon as I peel myself outta this wall, lady…"
Doom's Bad Hair Day
Although there are the usual stick figure issues to talk about, something I noticed quite a lot in this issue is the fact that the backgrounds all kind of blend together into generic mono colored floors and walls, often utterly nondescript or even vanishing entirely for several panels at a time. Worse still, sometimes the floor of the exact same floor changes colors several times in subsequent panels for no reason, or goes entirely white . It feels quite lazy, honestly. All four of the samples here are from the same floor as depicted across two pages.
Cover
Well, howdy iconic cover! We've arrived at another famous image, this being the origin issue of Spider-Man's famous black costume, which would eventually lead the supervillain Venom when its nature as a symbiotic organism was revealed, and later Carnage and all the other symbiotes that would spawn from there. Technically this is not the debut of the costume, as Secret Wars was published throughout the years while comics were already coming out that took place in a post-Secret Wars setting. Readers got to read stories with this version of Spider-Man months before they ever discovered its origin, and much the same is true for various continuity changes in books like Fantastic Four, which had its own shake ups due to Secret Wars fallout. I have to admit, though, that tagline isn't that interesting, and if this costume didn't turn out to be extremely significant later on, it probably would've just been another one of those weird eighties relics. Ah well, here we are!
Story Overview
Invasion!
We open, as you might imagine, with the entire lineup of heroes rushing off towards Doombase to avenge the death of one of their own, and to help She-Hulk, who went ahead by herself. Unlike the other various groups, they move by foot, or by jetboot, hammer, superpower, or giant flying piece of ground - whichever seemed appropriate. Soon Doombase looms menacingly on the horizon, it all its bulbous, weird glory. Unknowingly echoing Doctor Doom's observation when the villains first executed a sneak attack on the heroes, Reed wonders why Doom isn't sending out a sortie to blunt their attack. Could they be coming in unnoticed? The Thing asks Thor to think of some corny oath and smash a wall in, but the Thunder God isn't feeling it - he prays they have but a single person to avenge. Dark, man.
Inside Doombase, we catch up with the Enchantress - who's completely out of her gourd after drinking herself into a stupor. Wow. She slurs her words as she recognizes the sounds of Thor's hammer smashing down the walls, and concludes that clearly 'thish war is not working out ver' well…' She commands an innkeeper to fetch her another flagon of mead, and when nobody comes to bring her any, she decides she'll have to conjure up her own mead - or her own innkeeper!
First though, she wants to see what this Thor thing is about, and conjures up an image of him. She opines that Thor believes this war is what he was born for, a chance to win glory, while he imagines it as a chance at redemption for Amora herself. But Thor is a fool, and when she offered to give a try at giving up her evil ways in return for a kiss, she would surely have caught him with the sorcerous power of her lips.
Except… is that really true? Getting unsteadily to her feet, the Enchantress admits that perhaps, instead of that, her malicious will might have buckled, since her heart ultimately belongs to the mighty Thor. A kiss like that, some glimmer of hope that she might ever win his love fairly, could have been enough for her to try Thor's way. But now the chance is lost, alas! Does that mean she'll fight against him again, though? She stumbles and falls to the ground, incapable of even remaining upright. She wonders if she'll crawl and beg to him instead - behold now the mighty Enchantress, laid low…
In the infirmary we catch up with Volcana, who is busy tending to the injured Molecule Man, now wrapped in thick bandages but still unconscious. She promises she'll protect him, and that she'll kill anyone who dares to come in - especially that Wolverine guy that cut him up! He'll get his! Meanwhile, down in the dungeons, Klaw springs Lizard from his cell. Klaw explains that he spent a long time as a prisoner inside Galactus' ship, and that's why he can't stand seeing people trapped.. It drove him mad, you know! Mad-ad-ad! Also, he just kind of loves the way the Lizard talks…!
Elsewhere in the fortress we return to last issue's beat-down of the She-Hulk, with a crowd of seven villains still gathered around her. They suddenly hear the crack of thunder in the distance, and Absorbing Man immediately makes the connection, realizing that it means Thor is approaching - the heroes must be busting in to find them! Wrecker says they're not ready for that kind of face-off, but Titania wonders what there's to get ready for - just bash their faces in! The villains rush off to the new threat, but Doc Ock looks back at She-Hulk, figuring it's best to finish her off. Picking her up with his tentacles, he then viciously slams her head-first into a slab of metal debris, before departing after the others. There, one less enemy to be concerned with!
In a corridor some distance away, Ultron stands vigil in front of his master's quarter. Inside, the seared and tattered ruin of Doctor Doom tries to shove himself upright without much success. He's still smoking, smoldering, holding his head in agony as cosmic energies slowly fade. He paid a heavy price for his transgressions. Meanwhile, back with the heroes, we see them burst into the base at speed, with Captain Marvel leading the charge and announcing she'll do a lightspeed-search for She-Hulk, who is their top priority. Next up is Iron Man, who gets taken by surprise when the Wrecker suddenly pops around a corner and nails him with his magic crowbar. Iron Man counts himself lucky that it wasn't someone else that came first, since they might've been cut in half by that blow - as it is, the armor was damaged and his ribs hurt. He aims his hand-repulsor and blasts the Wrecker away from him in a wave of force.
Doctor Octopus uses the environment to his advantage and rends open a water reservoir over the Human Torch's head while the Absorbing Man declares that they should 'trash their butts!' Reed catches the doused Torch, but Bulldozer rushes in to follow up, declaring that Johnny will simply be a bloody swear on the wall instead of the floor. Spider-Man interrupts that charge, knocking Bulldozer unconscious with a single punch, and Absorbing Man realizes that Spider-Man might be slightly above his pay grade. Quickly grabbing a wall constructed out of alien metal, Creed absorbs its properties and prepares for the fight of his life. Swinging his huge ball-and-chain around, he dares Spidey to dodge - which he narrowly does, though he ends up ripping his costume.
Figuring Absorbing Man should pick on someone as ugly as himself - which would leave him with nobody to face off with - the Thing intervenes on Spidey's behalf. Suddenly his rocky skin is fading, though, and once more he's reduced to being simply Ben Grimm at the least opportune time possible. Absorbing Man tosses the now harmless hero aside and prepares to smack him with his weapon, but this time it's Spider-Woman who intervenes, picking up the metal-clad villain and smashing him bodily into the nearest wall. Absorbing Man has no clue who just attacked him, but he knows it's some broad that he'll take care of as soon as somehow peels himself out of that damn wall! Which is when Spider-Woman slams his own weapon into his face, knocking him unconscious. Spider-Woman briefly celebrates her victory, admitting this was only her fifth-ever fight. The new Spider-Woman wins again!
Nearby, Piledriver of the Wrecking Crew goes after Hawkeye, who warn him to stay back. Piledriver asks why, pointing out that bullets bounce off his skin and Hawkeye's down to his last arrow - and for a man who allegedly never misses, he hasn't hit yet. One arrow isn't much between him and a man who can crush Cadillacs with his fists, is it? He mocks 'Hawkeye the Archer', noting they'll need Hawkeye the M.A.S.H. doctor real soon, because he's gonna mash Hawkeye! That was painful. The hero says the rest were just warning shots, since he doesn't actually want to hurt Piledriver - and from this distance, from his bow, an arrow would hit a hell of a lot harder than a bullet! Piledriver is not convinced and storms in - and an arrow lodges itself deep into the villain's shoulder. 'Lordy, I'm wounded!' he cries, stumbling off in confusion and panic. Well, that was kind of embarrassing...
The Hulk, meanwhile, crashes into the Enchantress' room, who appears to have sobered up a little. Hulk isn't sure what he should do now, and the Enchantress takes immediate advantage by declaring she's but a helpless female, and he's the mighty Hulk, so what's the problem? She approaches him, and Hulk warns her he doesn't want to hit her, that she shouldn't force him to do it… She just asks him if she's not the most beautiful woman he's ever laid eyes on? He should stare into her eyes, and love her! The Hulk soon succumbs to her tricks, and crumples to the floor in a faint. Enchantress smugly smirks at the 'mortal cretin' she disabled, and pours herself a new glass of mead.
Captain America soon makes his way to the Enchantress as well, and she offers him a flagon of mead too, but he just wants to know what's been done to the Hulk. The Enchantress explains that he's merely asleep, doubtlessly dreaming of her. But alas, he can never have her, because she is the Captain's! Isn't that right? She reaches out her arms, inviting him in - but Cap is not so easily controlled. Realizing his will is too strong, Amora goes for more conventional methods, blasting at him with beams of magic while he uses his speed and agility to swiftly leap out of the way. He then rushes her, and Amora plays up her act, wondering if he would really strike a woman - upon which Cap knocks her unconscious with his shield. Nice. He admits to her fainted body that he wouldn't have hit her unless he had no other choice, but he's all too aware how dangerous she can be. As another few heroes come into the room, Cap and Johnny Storm rush off to find Doom.
Elsewhere, Titania is shoving a gigantic metal girder towards a ledge overlooking an ongoing battle below, but is caught from behind by Spider-Man, who leaps over Titania's super-strong attacks, even when she starts punching down entire walls to try and get at him. She declares she won't lose to a scrawny runt like him - she used to be small, the shrimp who got her face wiped in the dirt! Now she's powerful, and she's going to make it count! Everybody better look out for her now, because she'll crush little shrimp like him! She tosses huge chunks of metal and tries to smack Spidey down with them, and it looks like she just might succeed…
Hawkeye discovers Ben Grimm, once more without his powers, and asks him where the battle went - he seems to have been left behind. Ben isn't quite sure, but he points in the general direction he saw people go, which turns out to be towards the dungeons. There they come across Klaw, and they stay hidden while they try to come up with ways to take down a sound-based villain, since Hawkeye's straight out of trick-arrows. They're suddenly spotted by the Lizard, however, and now they're trapped between two bad guys. Ben asks Hawkeye if he has any bright ideas on how to deal with this, and the latter suggests they try to outwit the villainous duo. Ben just stares. 'Outwit them? Us?'
Back in the infirmary, Volcana activates her powers when she hears rapid feet approaching. The first person who shows his face, she decides, will get it fried clean off! Molecule Man suddenly stirs, mumbling his girlfriend's name, and she's relieved to hear his voice again - but he shouldn't worry, mama will protect him! Um. Molecule Man says he wants to help out - they'll annihilate the heroes together! As Reed Richards and Iron Man make their way to the infirmary in search of enemies, they're suddenly blown back by an enormous explosion of fiery heat - Volcana kept her word, though Reed managed to narrowly save his face. Iron Man throws himself into the room heedlessly, and Reed calls him back - even his armor isn't strong enough to withstand Volcana's plasma-generated heat!
Molecule Man pitches in by conjuring up an invisible shield around them, solidifying the air into an ultra-hard barrier. Volcana thanks him, but says she didn't really need the assistance - Iron Man's armor is already smoldering! Iron Man, meanwhile, is nearly overheated with all his cooling systems overtaxed, and many circuits fused or burnt out. Sheeoot! Volcana goes in for another blast, and requesting a gunport in the shield from her boyfriend, who quickly complies. Reed narrowly drags the armored Avenger out of the literal line of fire, burning his hands in the process, while Thor throws Mjolnir and bounces it harmlessly off the shield. It's no joke!
Volcana is pissed off that she missed, naturally, but Reece just tells him she'll have another shot - they can pick them off at leisure since they're quite safe behind his invisible shield. Which is when Captain Marvel suddenly appears behind him, inside the shield, with her arm around his neck. The shield's not invisible, she explains, it's just transparent. Meaning it lets light through, including her when she's using her powers! Reece screams as Captain Marvel unintentionally tears his wounds back open with her rough treatment, and Volcana drops her lava-form to rush to his side, surrendering to stop them from hurting her poor baby. The heroes evidently weren't even aware Molecule Man was badly wounded, despite the whole 'covered in bandages and housed in the infirmary' thing that he has going on. Go figure.
Spider-Man narrowly avoids the huge block of metal that Titania slams down towards him, and she declares nobody could move that fast. Spidey cheekily replies: 'nobody else.' He then wonders just why a lady who can juggle locomotives would find Spider-Man's talents quite so surprising. Is it just because he's small? With a little room to operate, he explains, nobody can lay a hand on him - not the X-Men, not the Absorbing Man, and not her either. How did she think he survived this long? Spidey starts smashing Titania around, avoiding her sluggish hits and dealing out strong ones in return. She soon gets frustrated and starts whining that it's not fair. Stop it, stop it, stop it! Spidey tells her that she aspired to be a bully, and it seems she succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. She talks nasty when she has the upper hand, but when she's losing, the whining wimp inside comes spilling out! Spidey tosses her away, straight out the side of the building, and she falls a few hundred feet down to the ground, finally slumping into a faint, still muttering: 'not… fair!'
Cap and Torch come across an unconscious Piledriver who's fainted, presumably from blood loss as Hawkeye's arrow is still lodged in his shoulder. They're then nearly killed when Ultron suddenly shows up to blast them with lasers. They deduce that this means Doom is probably nearby, since Ultron's his personal bodyguard, and decide they'll take out this threat. Cap uses his shield to wade his way closer to Ultron despite the lasers, while Johnny uses his agility to do the same, then unleashes his fire. To his dismay Ultron refuses to melt, and the robot smugly announces that he's made of indestructible adamantium - and he's mechanically precise and computer-swift, too! He is perfect! Johnny figures there's some ego in there as well, but before he can come up with any more quips Ultron manages to grab him out of the air and starts choking him with all his robotic strength.
Captain America orders Johnny to unleash his most powerful Nova-flames, but Johnny protests, since such a release of energy could kill Cap too at such a close range. Cap insists, shielding himself from the inferno behind his, well, mighty shield. In a cataclysmic burst of heat Johnny goes up like a volcano, and the hunched form of his fellow hero almost fades from view in the white heat. The entire hallway has melted to slag next we see it, but Cap survived and makes his way to a huge crater that's been seared into the base. He finds Johnny at the bottom, sans flames, next to the intact but unconscious body of Ultron. Although even Nova-level heat couldn't affect Adamantium, it seems something else inside him must have overheated and taken Ultron out. Cap tells Johnny to rest for a few minutes while he heads on.
Second later Captain America rushes into Doctor Doom's personal chambers, fist raised to take on the tin-plated tyrant. Looks like it's come down to him and Doom, as it was meant to be! Only… the Doctor isn't looking so hot. Still smoking and clutching his head, blind to the world around him, even repeated calls don't budge the villain from his pitiable slump. Cap decides that whatever happened to the man, it very nearly killed him, and he's still completely out of it. As it is, he's harmless!
Down in the dungeon, Reed walks in on a most peculiar scene imaginable. As it turns out, Ben Grimm and Hawkeye have found a… creative way of dealing with Klaw and the Lizard. Yeah. They apparently challenged the pair to a game of freaking patty-cake, and evidently it worked. It's far better than violence, Ben proclaims, and Klaw concurs: 'Right-ite-ite!' Lizard hisses a threat to the new arrivals: disturb the game and the Lizard will destroy them! Once they finish, then he'll do as the heroes say. This is so thoroughly dumb and silly…
In a rather jarring whiplash of mood, we switch over to Captain Marvel finding the bleeding, nearly dead She-Hulk. She cries in horror seeing what the villains have done to the poor woman and quickly brings her to the infirmary, where Reed and Captain America have reconvened. The former still has a bit of trouble with his hands which he burned catching Iron Man, but there's too much to do to really worry about it - he's got people to heal on both sides of the conflict! He admits there wasn't much he could do for Doctor Doom, since the alien machines wouldn't work through the man's armor, and it'd take weeks to get him out of it without risking setting off all sorts of booby-traps. As such, they've decided to just put him in a cell for the time being. Reed takes a moment to wonder about Doom's presence in the Secret Wars, explaining to Cap that he was present when Doom recently died. He's not sure how he could be alive and present for the Beyonder's game - but he supposes not much can surprise him anymore after all the things he's seen.
Captain America notes that he's almost as surprised that She-Hulk survived such a brutal beating, and Reed cautions him that it was a close thing, and even the alien technology could not have saved her if they'd arrived much later. He wishes there was time to analyze all these machines for use back home, but for the moment he's content to use them to save their ally's life. Losing one Avenger was already too much to bear, never mind more. Cap admits he feels guilty about Wasp's death, figuring there was something he could have done, and Reed tries to comfort him by supporting his leadership. Nobody could have led them better, or more wisely!
Back in the dungeon Hawkeye muses that he wished they could have locked Klaw and the Lizard up together, since they were getting to be such good friends. Hulk tells him that just because they're insane doesn't mean they're not still dangerous which… sure, but that's not what Hawkeye was talking about, was it? Thor returns to tell the others that Doom is secure, and that's the last of the villains accounted for. Captain Marvel says that the restraints are a bit nasty, but strong, and the Hulk declares that he doesn't mind if the Enchantress suffers a little. Thor just comforts him by saying that she's beguiled many before, even him a couple times! Hawkeye and Captain Marvel then decide they're going to fetch Wasp's body because this is now their base, and they should be able to hold a proper funeral here.
Back in Zsaji's village, we catch up with Colossus running through the streets holding the unconscious body of the healer, and bringing her back to her personal hut. He tells her he'll take care of her as she took care of him, lamenting that he doesn't have the same power of healing with his bare hands - he's not even sure what's wrong! Realizing he might have a way to find out, he spots the nearby hookah that Johnny told him about, the one that facilitated a recap a few issues ago. He releases the odors that connect minds, and soon enough he experiences a surge of Zsaji's memories, depicting her failed attempt at healing the Wasp, as well as the enraged and grief-stricken faces of the Avengers. It then goes on to show Zsaji returning to the Wasp's side and pouring her very life force into the woman until she can barely stand...
Colossus realizes the truth of the matter - the failed healing of the Wasp wasn't because she was dead, but because she was in some sort of death-like stasis! When the effect eventually wore off, Zsaji healed Wasp's wounds to the point that she nearly lost her own life in the attempt. All that for a stranger from another world that she'd never even spoken to before! Colossus wonders if there's anyone else out there that is Zsaji's equal, and proclaims his love. At the nearby hut, meanwhile, the newly arrived Hawkeye and Captain Marvel are shocked to discover that rumors of the Wasp's death were greatly exaggerated. They find her sitting upright and snarking at them, and they exclaim their happiness to see her alive. Wasp's eyes widen in horror, and she suddenly despairs that she doesn't have any make-up on! And her hair must be a right mess! Oh, goodness!
Several miles away, in an alien aircraft parked on a mountain ledge, we see the Magneto and the X-Men holding vigil, just as they promised Captain America last issue. Magneto muses that Galactus might be playing a bluff, acting out the steps of devouring a world while actually preparing some other form of attack that would not be anticipated. Professor X admits he might be right, but they can't afford to divert attention from the obvious threat. Nightcrawler agrees, noting that Galactus' bluff is better than a handful of aces! Suddenly Cyclops perks up, points at the screen, and declares: 'Look, look there!'
Back at Doombase, Reed Richards is busy repairing the damaged armor of Iron Man, having detached an entire arm from the suit so he can do some precision welding. He admits that with all this alien technology he could probably upgrade the armor, but it's still incredibly sophisticated as is. James Rhodes curiously wonders whether Reed had expected a black man under the armor, since his bare arm is now plainly visible. Reed admits that he'd never given it a thought - he just knew a man was under there, and that was it!
Elsewhere in the base Spider-Man comes across the Hulk and Thor, and notices the latter has mysteriously regained his ripped cloak and fancy winged helmet. He's a bit puzzled by this, wondering if the god is hiding a haberdasher somewhere, and Thor explains that it's actually the Hulk's doing. It seems Dr. Banner found a device in the villains' base that creates any sort of clothing, and you just have to think at it to convey what you want it to look like. Spider-Man thanks him for the tip, figuring it's high time he replaced his own rather torn costume, and heads over to the room the two heroes just departed from. When he enters, though, he's not quite sure which one of the fancy gizmos Hulk was talking about, and randomly decides it must be a particular one because it just sort of looks like the right sort of machine? Genius. He climbs up onto the machine, sticks his head into a receptacle, and focuses his mind.
To Spidey's surprise, the machine expels not a costume, but a mysterious blob of black goo that makes his spider-sense tingle... just what's going on here? He's about to get rid of it, when the goo suddenly clamps down on his hand and spreads up his arm before engulfing him entirely.
Spider-Man then looks down at himself and is amazed to discover that the goo completely dissolved his old costume and reformed a new one in its place - but this one is entirely black with a huge white spider on the chest! It's different - but not bad! He wonders why it didn't come out like the old one, since that was what he was thinking about, but decides he must have subconsciously redesigned it to match the new Spider-Woman's costume, which it does indeed resemble.
At that very moment there's a sudden earthquake, and mere moments later a telepathic distress call is sent out by Professor X, who announces that they must all come quickly - Galactus has started devouring the planet!
To be continued...
Rating & Comments
This issue is basically a single extended combat scene in which the heroes finally get to actually show their stuff a little. Given that we're heading towards the endgame of this series and the Galactus plot is finally advancing, it's probably the last hero-villain conflict of the war, and thus I kind of expected them to make up for the dearth of competent heroism here. And that's what we get - for a few heroes. As for the others… not so much. Even in this, the 'heroes win' issue, a solid half of the heroic cast manage to look incompetent. And the tone is a freaking see-saw.
Let's start with the success stories - most notably Spider-Man. Spidey not only shows his mettle in a brief scuffle with the Absorbing Man, who is astounded to find that even his best swing can't hit the wall-crawler, but also goes toe-to-toe with Titania and defeats her. The match is thoroughly uneven, with Spider-Man making a mockery out of a character that, up to this point, has been defeating basically everyone she came across with relative ease. It's fitting that Titania was beaten up by one of the less muscle-bound heroes on account of her rather warped view of the world, though I don't really understand how Spidey could be considered scrawny - he's generally portrayed as pretty ripped. I guess she just means he's got normal proportions rather than comic book bodybuilder ones? Or maybe it's another disconnect between art and description, like with Volcana.
Captain America and the Human Torch both get moments to shine too, with Cap resisting the Enchantress' magic powers and then knocking her out with his shield - although I have to point out that she was pretty much falling-down drunk at the time. The Human Torch, meanwhile, gets to do his Nova trick on a bad guy, and makes it look pretty damn impressive by basically hollowing out the base with his flames and disabling the nigh-unkillable Ultron (though Galactus made it look easier back in Secret Wars #1!) Smaller victories were scored by Captain Marvel - although her heroic effort of taking down Molecule Man by accidentally ripping his stitches is… kind of underwhelming - and Spider-Woman, who squashed the Absorbing Man with his own weapon. I guess she actually got to do something this issue!
So much for the good stuff, though. Now for the bad. Firstly… Hulk. He runs into the base, meets the Enchantress, and promptly gets taken down by a thoroughly drunk supervillain using her most common trick. This is an issue after he got one-shot by Galactus' robot at the beginning of the fight, too. He hasn't exactly been doing that well since his stand-out moment in Secret Wars #4, has he? Even worse, perhaps, is Thor. Can you tell me what he actually did in this issue? He shows up outside combat, sure, and he's there at the Molecule Man battle, but his only contribution to the fighting seems to be grabbing Doc Ock by his tentacles in one panel, and ineffectually throwing his hammer, once. Iron Man isn't much better, stupidly storming into oncoming fire and getting his armor ruined for his trouble. Reed's only act is to drag said stupid Iron Man's ass out of the literal fire...
Finally, then, there's the two remaining heroes I haven't mentioned - the Thing and Hawkeye. I would class the Thing with the ineffectual losers up there for basically instantly reverting to human form and becoming a liability, but… somehow it gets worse. Hawkeye technically wins against Piledriver, but that guy is so hilariously useless in this issue that I'm not sure it counts. He faints at getting hit by a single normal arrow that Hawkeye whittled out of a random stick. Seriously? What sets these two characters apart is that technically they beat two more villains… by playing patty-cake with them. Yup. Because their characterization in this series is that they're mentally challenged weirdos that don't actually give a shit about being bad guys - they're just kind of along for the ride. At least Lizard gets a hilarious line or two out of it, but it's utterly stupid.
One wonders, given previous encounters, how this relatively limp wristed attack still managed to take down all the villains - and honestly it just seems like the heroes took advantage of the fact that they had been sitting around for several issues, while everyone else was actually going around doing things. Just recently Doom was beaten up by Galactus, Molecule Man was sliced up by Wolverine, the Wrecking Crew were beaten up by She-Hulk, and the rest had two battles with the X-Men which tired them out. At this point the heroes would have had to really try to lose, I reckon!
Besides the extended combat scene in this issue, there's also a finale to the whole Wasp subplot that's been running for half the series - and it ends with the completely unsurprising resurrection of the Wasp from her supposed death. I don't think anyone ever would have bought she was actually gone, though, since the comic immediately drew attention to the 'stasis field' thing that the villains used. There was also Zsaji revisiting the hut with Wasp's body when Colossus is looking for her to clue in anyone who didn't catch the first hint. I guess the only reason she ever 'died' was to make the heroes mad enough to attack the villains, though I didn't think they would need much encouragement… The most annoying part, of course, is the characterization of the Wasp - she's a brainless ditz about even this, reacting to her near-death experience by worrying about make-up and getting her hair messed up. Jim Shooter, you suck.
This comic annoyed me with its mood whiplash, actually - it initially frames itself as the heroes taking revenge for the death of one of their own, the Wasp, and a rescue attempt to get She-Hulk back. It then starts inserting blatantly comedic scenes in which heroes joke at each other into the narrative, interspersing depictions of people finding the crumpled remains of their friends with stuff like newbie heroes celebrating their fifth ever knockout or playing dumb games. It feels like the writer forgot that the heroes don't know about the Wasp's revival yet, and just kind of wrote a generic fight without considering context. Actually, do the heroes even find out about her survival? Hawkeye and Captain Marvel are still at Zsaji's village in the end, and the rest of the heroes have to hear about Galactus acting from the X-Men, which would presumably have been pretty obvious to their colleagues too, since the village is located right below the big guy. So what's up with the heroes getting homely in Doombase, joking about captives and making costumes for themselves?
Speaking of costumes… much like last issue, the cover content is irrelevant and barely even comes up. The black costume shows up in like six panels, and only one of those is actually the full thing. Meh. Although there's some good action beats and a few characters get to be badass, this issue felt like the heroes got a freebie and still mostly came off as less than competent. Combine that with the uneven tone and a rather uninspiring Wasp return, and I have a hard time giving this a good score. An utter lack of Doom doesn't help matters either - he only shows up for a few panels doing nothing! I guess I only covered this issue because skipping one issue in the middle would be really weird for a series like this. You know what, I'll go there. … 2 stars! Not a fan!
Best Panel(s) of the Issue
I quite like this panel of Titania pulling a Sasuke Uchiha on a wall and Spidey just effortlessly evading it, heh.
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
*Tumbleweed*
Absorbin' Man Is Priceless
"No prisoners! Trash their butts!"
"A broad! As soon as I peel myself outta this wall, lady…"
Doom's Bad Hair Day
Although there are the usual stick figure issues to talk about, something I noticed quite a lot in this issue is the fact that the backgrounds all kind of blend together into generic mono colored floors and walls, often utterly nondescript or even vanishing entirely for several panels at a time. Worse still, sometimes the floor of the exact same floor changes colors several times in subsequent panels for no reason, or goes entirely white . It feels quite lazy, honestly. All four of the samples here are from the same floor as depicted across two pages.
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- Location
- France
You're thinking of Venom. Carnage comes later.
Hawkeye really wasted his entire quiver on warning shots, didn't he? I think one would've been enough and then he could've used the next arrow to end it, saving the rest for other opponents.
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- Location
- East Coast
I'd argue that Secret Wars really shows the influence of Shooter's past as a Legion of Superheroes writer, especially in the bigger than big cosmic parts and the surprisingly well-written villains to the good, and the tendency of the big and unwieldy cast to blend into one another to the bad.
096: Secret Wars #9 - Assault on Galactus!
- Location
- Netherlands
096: Marvel Super Heroes - Secret Wars #9 (January 1985)
Cover
I actually like this cover quite a lot! It's a nice dynamic image of the heroes doing a full-on charge attack against a great threat, with both the Avengers and the X-Men accounted for. Actually, there's a remarkable amount of shading work going on in this cover compared to some of the others, particularly in Cap's suit and shield, Iron Man's armor, and that smoke rising to the top right. I also like how defined that rock Hulk is carrying seems to be, and the design of the Torch's flame trail. Honestly, if this sort of coloring was more commonplace in these issues, I probably would like them more. Maybe it's just a better scan than the others? Though googling the other covers doesn't really give me superior scans anywhere...
Story Overview
Assault on Galactus!
Finally, the plot progresses! We open on Colossus rushing out of a house in Zsaji's village to discover the sky alight with power as Galactus begins nomming on Battleworld. Lenin's beard! Colossus is a bit fatalistic, figuring if the end is going to come, it should come while Zsaji is still unconscious and unaware of the threat. He begins proclaiming her beauty, nobility and selflessness, and rejects the idea that maybe her healing powers had something to do with his affection - no, he knew he loved her from the moment he was her! Alas, but she loves another! He decides it doesn't matter - he doesn't want anything in return for his love, since it's not some commodity to be bartered. He only cares that she's happy - and if that's with someone else, so be it. As his flesh turns to steel, he announces that he goes now to fight for her life - let anyone who threatens her, even Galactus, beware his might!
High above Galactus' mountain Storm soars on tornado-force winds, and storm clouds gather at her bidding. At her mental command they begin raining down bursts of lightning, aiming straight for Galactus and his mammoth machine. They… are beneath his notice.
Magneto wonders what they're supposed to do if the giant doesn't even notice such an onslaught, but Professor X refuses to stop, having promised Captain America they would do what they could if Galactus were to begin eating. He declares that from this moment on he'll communicate telepathically, and they will all obey instantly! Joy. He commands Rogue to attack from the air, while Nightcrawler and Cyclops follow her offensive.
Cyclops thinks to himself that he's never heard the Professor be this intense before - probably because he realize they're committing suicide. He reasons that Xavier must have known since the start that things would lead to this, which is why he's been colder, harder, more authoritative since the moment they arrived on this planet. He'd mellowed out over the last couple years, but it makes sense he'd revert to his old ways when he knew he'd be sending children to their deaths! Cyclops suddenly notices that a strange device suddenly appeared out of thin air near Galactus - a defensive drone of some sort, perhaps?
Storm warns Rogue to be careful as the latter flies towards the asteroid-like probe. Rogue declares she's ready for anything, and if it's dangerous, she's pretty hard to hurt! The probe suddenly projects several beams of solid light, and Rogue flies straight into one of them, knocking herself unconscious.
She really needs to start paying attention. Magneto tosses some huge boulders at the probe, and loudly complains that a mere toy of Galactus is giving them trouble! Cyclops tells him to keep going, while Nightcrawler briefly considers getting the Professor out after he gets blasted aside by another beam, but is convinced otherwise by Wolverine.
Nightcrawler teleports to the probe, but Cyclops warns him that it's too dangerous - he should get out now! He slams down a fist onto the sphere, declaring he'll take out its sensors, but is soon blasted off by yet another beam of forceful light, and he careens away with a scream. Wolverine sees this and declares that Nightcrawler has bought them a chance - maybe at the cost of his life. Now what? The Professor tells Magneto to stand ready, then commands Cyclops to give a full-force optic blast at his command. Strike!
Down in Zsaji's village, three heroes watch an enormous mushroom cloud rise up from the mountain. It's Hawkeye, Captain Marvel, and the newly revived Wasp, staring on in horror and wondering what happened. Captain Marvel figures if it was the X-Men up there, they're sure dead after such a blast, while the Wasp wonders if they should go up there and help. Hawkeye decides that, nah, they'd better wait for Cap to arrive. You know, strike as a unit. I guess he got used to Cap's strategy of 'let's wait and see', huh?
Over at the recently conquered Doombase, the rest of the heroes are heading out to back up the X-Men after last issue's distress call in one of their alien aircraft. We also get confirmation that they haven't heard anything about the Wasp's revival, since Hulk wonders where Captain Marvel and Hawkeye are, and he's told that they went to retrieve Wasp's body for burial and haven't returned yet. Cap wonders if they have the good sense not to attack before they're all reunited - so I guess hanging around not helping allies because your friends haven't arrived is actually standard operating procedure.
Inside the aircraft, the Hulk sits on the floor and becomes the incredible sulk. Thor wonders why he's so gloomy, and wonders if perhaps he's sad he doesn't fit in the chairs. He declares he shouldn't feel sad about that - they were clearly made for insect men - or by trolls, for torture! Heh. If instead it's the impending battle that troubles him, Thor muses, he should just imagine the chance for glory that lays in wait! Even more than Ragnarok, this is the battle he was born to fight! The Hulk, too, is a warrior born - the taste of berserker battle-lust will surely raise his spirit! Hulk isn't so sure, explaining that he lost his boundless rage when he gained the intelligence of Bruce Banner in this form, and now he's losing even that! He's neither smart enough, nor savage enough, to be relevant.
Johnny brags that he's not sure why anyone's worried at all - he's here, so how can they lose? Ben tells him to shut up, worrying that they're heading for the big fight while he's useless. Johnny tells him to cheer up, since at least he's better looking this way. Ben tells him to beat it, and complains that on Earth he can't turn human at all, but here it seems to happen when he most needs to be the Thing! If he can change back and forth, why can't he control it like Johnny? He smacks a fist down, and when it lands it's orange and rocky - he's turned back! He jumps at his teammate in joy, giving him a big rocky hug. Johnny complains that it'll make quite the headline: 'Affectionate hug slays Human Torch en route to battle - universe destroyed as a result.'
Iron Man muses to himself that the new Spider-Woman is pretty weird, since she's very quiet and stares at people a lot. Never cracks a smile, either. She claims to be on their side, but… maybe it'd be best to keep an eye on her. Besides, he reasons, she's got great legs! Yeah. He decides they have one thing in common, at least - they're strangers here. A lot of these people have worked with Iron Man before, but that was with Tony Stark in the suit, and Rhodey believes they've started to realize that there's a different guy in the suit. They're keeping their distance, probably doubtful about him, untrusting. It doesn't matter, he decides, since with this armor he's 'one ba-ad dude', especially since Reed souped it up. As soon as the fight starts, he decides, he'll show them he's the real Iron Man! James Rhodes, Iron Man now and forever! Yeah!
Spider-Man jumps into the scene, ricocheting off the walls in enthusiasm about his brand new black suit. He careens past Johnny and proclaims joyfully: 'I've got my webs back!' before shooting him in the face with said webs. Torch complains that the new stuff is even harder to remove than the old as he burns it away, and Spidey explains that it's to do with his new costume - it makes its own webs, and the shooters fire when he thinks about doing it! And that's not all: the suit can do anything! He demonstrates by retracting the suit from his arms and legs, declaring he's got a ready-made short-sleeves suit for summer!
Reed admits he'd love to look at the thing in a lab sometime - if there is a 'sometime' ever again, or if he ever sees his lab again. He apologizes for sounding defeatist, and wonders why Spider-Man seems so chipper under the circumstances. Spidey admits he's given up on pondering the imponderables, and that with the way this entire trip has been going, he's resorted to just taking things as they come. Reed wonders if he can do that, just accept the things that come, and admits that he can't stop searching for meaning behind all this - that's just not how he works.
He repeats the words of the Beyonder to himself, quoting from Secret Wars #1: 'I am from beyond! Slay your enemies and all you desire shall be yours! Nothing you dream of is impossible for me to accomplish!' At face value the whole thing is absurd. Why would a being so far removed from them and so powerful set up a stupid, simplistic 'good-versus-evil' gladiatorial contest? Is he some mad god? A cosmic idiot? And why were such specific people chosen? Why are they mostly from Earth? And why was Galactus included? He doesn't fit. Human beings and even Asgardians may be tempted to participate - but Galactus is a force of nature and doesn't really have enemies. Not any more than a hurricane or earthquake would. So why is he here? There must be more to it. What could the possible grander purpose be? Galactus must be key to the answer. Thank you for finally following up on the core concept of the entire series, literally anyone but Doctor Doom. Sheesh.
Cap suddenly yells out a warning to Reed, and their ship is hit by an energy discharge that sends them spiraling down to a crash landing. They try to activate stabilizers, retro-rockets, but it won't be enough - they're too low already! That's when Colossus suddenly appears, using his super-strength to catch the vessel just before it strikes the ground, buffering their landing with his body. Unfortunately he aggravated his injuries in the process, but Cap tells him that he'll have to make do - it's do or die time, after all. Reed explains that Galactus' machine is sending out power-tendrils to rip apart the planet before reducing it to energy, and one of those nicked their ship. It won't be long, now, before the world-burn starts. Wew, now there's a name to run away from really fast!
As the heroes head towards Galactus, Colossus takes a moment to consider the huge crater that remains on the side of the mountain. Did the X-Men die there? He wants nothing more than to go look for his friends, but he mustn't - he has a duty to the living, and to Zsaji! The heroes arrive to find Captain Marvel waiting for them, and she warns that Galactus' defense drones are dangerous, and the earlier explosion happened when one of them was damaged. Reed advises the others to avoid them as much as possible and focus on the machine instead, and Iron Man notes that should be a cinch with his new radar and in-flight dodging computers. He actually manages to dodge past the drones and get a hit on the apparatus, blowing off a chunk of metal. Reed is enthused, figuring it's proof that they can win this… and then realizes something startling.
Cap tells the others to press on, but Reed shouts that they have to stop! The Thing wonders what he's on about, and Reed explains that they can't go through with this, because he sees a purpose - a meaning to this whole conflict. They must not stop Galactus! Said cosmic force sends out a huge wave of force that sends the heroes reeling away like leaves in the wind. They're about to return to the fray when the Thing asks Reed to explain himself. Reed points out that they've already damaged Galactus' machine, done the impossible, and shown this is a fight they can win. Which is precisely why they must not fight! They have to let Galactus win! Cap says Reed isn't making any sense. Reed says he's making perfect sense, since for the first time he sees a possible purpose to the Secret Wars!
This is a chance, Reed explains, to finally rid the universe of the threat of Galactus! All they have to do is let him win the Beyonder's contest, and the Beyonder will grant him his wish of losing his planet-eating hunger! Cap wonders what happens if the Beyonder reneges on his promise, and Reed figures that, re-energized by eating Battleworld, he'd attack the Beyonder. He'd force them to pay up, or be destroyed in the attempt. Either way the universe wins. Countless billions who would have fallen prey to Galactus will live in peace! Spider-Man wonders why they were picked to make this sort of decision for the universe, and Reed points out they picked themselves by being superheroes - and regardless, Earth has a knack for being pivotal in the cosmic scheme of things.
Even as Ben and Johnny hesitantly begin accepting Reed's logic, he's suddenly engulfed in bright light, and he vanishes from sight. At the same time Galactus also disappears - as does the entire mountaintop! The other heroes stand baffled, unsure what to do, and Cap admits he's open to suggestions.
At that moment, millions of miles above on board the Worldship of Galactus, Reed stares in awe at his surroundings, which include a neatly sliced off mountaintop, complete with world-devouring machine, suspended in a force field. He can't quite seem to grasp what he's looking at, like Doom before him, seeing a whole world of inconceivable vistas, all of them built, created! Galactus oversees it all, and welcomes Reed to his home. Reed says he's honored to be acknowledged, and Galactus replies with a question: would he like to view his own home? Reed immediately agrees, and he's promptly shown an image of Sue and Franklin at home - she hasn't had the baby yet. Galactus agrees, and tells Reed to listen to his words…
Meanwhile, in a maximum security containment cell in Doombase, Doctor Doom remains unmoving. The comic quickly recaps the villain's recent escapades on board the Worldship, and the way Galactus reduced him to a tattered, charred ruin. Or so it seemed…! 'The world ship is the way!' Doom suddenly exclaims, finally rousing from his stupor. At last he sees - the way he sought is the ship itself! He decides he must be free at once, or opportunity will escape his grasp. His armor's power is drained, which is why the heroes left it on him, or perhaps they were also afraid of the many booby traps awaiting any who would dare to remove it. But Doom is ever-prepared! He touches a button hidden on his boot, which activates a backup power supply… and again he wields power! Soon enough the cell door goes flying, and Doom steps forth.
The other villains beg Doom to free them as he passes but he has no use for them - except for one. He releases Klaw from captivity, the raving mad Master of Sound. He's the one Doom needs! Klaw is surprised, and observes that Doom narrates his every action as he goes along. Is he being taped? Doom admits that yes, he is - every utterance of Doom must be preserved for posterity! Doom then muses that Klaw himself is a recording of sorts, due to the time he spent as a vibration in the walls of the Worldship, and that's why he needs him. Klaw follows him, wondering where they're going. Doom explains they're going to a lab - to dissect him! 'Oh, good!' Klaw happily agrees.
Meanwhile, back at Zsaji's village, Colossus has begun excavating the crater on the side of the mountain for signs of the X-Men, figuring he'll only stop if he finds some sure sign they're dead, like their bodies. Suddenly his search is cut short, however, when an optic blast sears through the sky - Cyclops! 'You're alive!' Colossus exclaims in relief when the rest of the X-Men climb out of a cavity behind Cyclops. 'Good. I was tired of digging.' They quickly explain that because of the huge amount of energy it contained, they figured the probe might explode if he blasted it, so they had Magneto enclose them in a shell of earth and stone over-top to protect them from the blast. It was still, however, nearly enough to kill them anyway. Xavier observes that the Avengers have returned to the village, and decide the X-Men will do the same.
Back in town, we see Wasp informing people how she survived her apparent death, while Spider-Man looks on as Hawkeye whittles another new arrow - this one 'with Galactus's name on it' which is just comical. Colossus is relieved to see that Zsaji has awakened from her coma, and smiles as the woman rushes over with her arms wide - only to pass straight by and greet Johnny. Ouch. Johnny isn't actually that interested in dealing with her at the moment, too worried about what happened to Reed to think of much else. Impending apocalypse? Time to get some last-minute loving in. Friend got kidnapped? Now it's time to worry.
Cap and Hulk discuss what to do, suggesting they return to their tried-and-true 'wait around for shit to happen' method. Captain Marvel suggests scrounging up some spaceships and launching an assault on the Worldship. Ben points out that Reed said not to attack Galactus… so he's not gonna. Iron Man says he's not exactly ready to die sitting on his hands.
Reed suddenly reappears among them, explaining that he… had tea with Galactus. Apparently Galactus believes Reed is a 'force of the universe' just as he himself is - that he is a champion of life, just as Galactus is an instrument of death. He also showed him Sue and Franklin. He's not sure what that all adds up to, though. It seems right to him to sacrifice Battleworld so that countless billions might be spared - isn't that what a champion of life would decide? Or was Galactus telling him that he must fight, even for these few lives here? He's not sure. Ben admits that one less orange rock monster isn't going to matter much to the universe, so he shouldn't champion the few. Hawkeye isn't on board, calling them a bunch of quitters - cowards!
Just then, Galactus reappears on top of the mountain with his machine - he's restarting the process. Cap decides that he's going to fight, no matter what. He'll leave it to everyone to do as their conscience dictates. He then turns to Xavier, and tells him that despite their differences, he considers their earlier actions a great service to the rest of them - and to the universe, as far as he is concerned. He then asks if they can side by side in this fight - he figures they've certainly earned that much. Xavier gratefully accepts. The Hulk, impatient, declares: 'Let's go!'
Back at Doombase, Doctor Doom is looking on as the battle progresses, and is gleeful to realize that there is still time. He notes that the rip in spacetime from Secret Wars #1 has reappeared as well - the Beyonder is paying close attention, perhaps realizing the significance of what's happening - or of what's going to happen. Perfect! But, Doom decides, he must act quickly - he must complete his dissection and assemble his apparatus in mere minutes! Nearby, cut in pieces like a birthday cake with various parts spread around a table, Klaw is nevertheless still merrily chanting away, and says that as solidified sounds, cutting into him doesn't actually hurt, just tingle-ingle-ingle. He also wonders if he's allowed to speak poetry into Doom's tape recorder, before reciting 'bells' by Edgar Allan Poe. I can see why it appealed to him, honestly…
With the assault on Galactus in full swing, we see the cover image repeated with blasts and beams going every which way, while lightning and boulders are flung and several characters… jump closer menacingly? Galactus appears to have stopped using his drones, and Spider-Man figures that's a good sign. (I figure Shooter didn't know how to realistically get rid of them in the limited page-count that remains...)
While Galactus might be weakening, he's still no pushover - he blasts the heroes with force-beams of his own. Most of them hunker down behind terrain, their shield, or whatever might be nearby. Those who can't are flung the hell back down the mountain. The Hulk declares he's going to smash Galactus once and for all, but gets blasted by the giant's eye-beams. Johnny flares up and blasts Galactus with his flames, which is enough distraction that the Hulk gets away alive.
Ben soon starts tearing away at the mountain in an attempt to undercut the huge machine, severing the anchor rods that keep it stuck in the rock. Reed approaches Cap and explains that Galactus used an enormous amount of energy to transport his Worldship here, and he probably hasn't fed for months, so his energy must be running dry - he can be beaten! Cap is glad to see Reed, but isn't sure what happened that could have changed his mind about letting Galactus win. Reed admits that he still isn't sure if what they're doing is right, in the cosmic scheme of things - but he admits that what he wants more than anything is to see his baby born, and he's willing to fight for it.
Reed instructs Iron Man to hit Galactus head on, as his armor is capable of tanking the ion-beams that he's projecting. He tells Rogue to go after him, but to watch for the eye-beams. Spider-Man is told to get behind Galactus, while Ben and Thor should close in when they have the chance. Iron Man gets a good hit in, and somehow this leaves the machine wide open to attack? I'm not sure how it works, but it seems like Galactus is suddenly far away while the heroes attack the device with everything they have. Reed suddenly declares that they shouldn't attack the machine - they should get Galactus! Capture him! Disable him if they must! He must not escape!
The heroes are confused about why there's been such a sudden change of plans, and it's far too late to actually do what Reed is saying, as Galactus soon ascends into the sky like a rocket. Reed cries that it's too late - they've failed. Iron Man and Hawkeye wonder what he's on about now - the big guy is gone and his machine has been trashed. That was the win condition, right? Reed says that they lost, because right at that very moment, Galactus is entering his Worldship. He'll probably take a look around - his last look! You see, he doesn't actually need the machine to devour a world - it just make the energy absorption far more efficient. Under the circumstances, he'll surely make do without!
Sure enough, Galactus begins glowing, and soon after the Worldship follows. Galactus is devouring his own Worldship, perhaps the greatest energy source in the known universe. Moments after he's finished, Battleworld will be next, and then probably the local sun, too. He'll consume every iota of energy he can find in case he has to take on the Beyonder! They're dead men! Energy flows through the void, making the sun seem dim by comparison, and in the center of the nimbus of fundamental forces, Galactus prepares to drink in the power cosmic…
'Now!' declares Doctor Doom at his most dramatic, standing amidst a vast array of lenses crafted from living sound, perfectly and singularly attuned to the energy frequency of the Worldship. 'Now I will steal this power… and draw it here, to Doom!'
To be continued...
Rating & Comments
This issue is dominated by action… and yet it left me utterly cold. Even last issue managed that aspect better, I think! Maybe it's that all the combat is so abstract here, since the targets are vaguely defined drones or Galactus, who doesn't even react to anything that's going on half the time. It just seems like half the characters have no realistic way to affect the battle one way or another, and the rest shouldn't either. After spending a bunch of issues confirming how powerful Galactus is, like the fact that it took an extremely powerful combined telepathic attack to even tickle the guy, he's suddenly reduced to nothing to facilitate a fight scene. His equivalent to a guard dog is a giant death-robot that it took an entire team of heroes to kill and his probes detonate with the force of a nuclear bomb, but apparently a bunch of those same robots wantonly throwing attacks around is enough to make him resort to desperate solutions? I… really don't get it. It seems like Jim Shooter is desperately attempting to retcon previous claims from this very series to justify the heroes having a sliver of a chance, and that's pretty cheap.
The best combat scene, in as much as that applies, is probably the X-Men against that first probe - they actually seem to put some effort into planning out their assault, and Magneto's involvement in the team's survival is foreshadowed. Not sure why they never considered using the other probes as weapons against Galactus' device, given what happens when they get damaged… and why did they randomly disappear mid-way through the issue? Just an excuse to given the heroes an easier time? Meh. What I really don't understand though is the later 'we're friends now' scene where Cap apparently believes the X-Men did some great feat here which makes them trustworthy. Like, sure, they came through on keeping vigil while the rest of the heroes were away… but they didn't actually succeed at even slowing Galactus down. Nothing would have changed if they'd been entirely absent. Why is Professor X so happy to accept praise when he is fully aware that they only barely survived against a single defense probe, never mind facing Galactus? I guess the intent matters more than their actual effectiveness...
The issue isn't entirely action, I have to note, since there's an extended scene early on which is all about the heroes casually shooting the shit while en route to the fight. Hulk sulks and Thor has some funny lines to cheer him up, Ben sulks and Johnny has some funny lines to cheer him up, and Rhodey desperately tries to psyche himself up while Spider-Man bounces around the place in short-shorts. It's a mish-mash of moods, but it works well enough as a sort of last-minute sitrep of where everyone's head-space is at. I don't mind its inclusion, even if it does feel like a fair bit of filler content in a story that could have used more competently drawn and convincing action scenes instead.
Reed Richards is the obvious pivotal character in this issue, getting basically all the major story beats, but not in a good way. On one hand I can see Reed going for a utilitarian conclusion like sacrifice a hundred to save a million, as he's a pragmatic scientist type who puts aside emotions in favor of cold hard logic - on the other hand, this is a man who once saved Galactus himself because of his belief that life is precious. I could see him giving his own life, sure, but those of innocents? Just for the chance of avoiding future deaths? It seems unlikely. I'm similarly not too convinced of Ben Grimm's character interpretation. Would he really jump on board with a plan that would kill him and everyone else around him, never mind buying into it to the point that he starts threatening to beat people up for not wanting to commit suicide?
Of course, whether or not you actually agree with Reed on the whole 'let Galactus win' thing is immaterial to the far more annoying aspect Reed demonstrates in this issue: shouting at people to do things without properly explaining himself. He does this twice! The first time he at least has the excuse that he only just thought of what he's shouting - even if it seems unlikely he wouldn't have thought of the whole thing, since Galactus proclaimed his intentions to get rid of his hunger back in Secret Wars #1. I guess only us readers (and Doom) were privy to that particular declaration? The second time he starts shouting that people are doing the wrong thing after giving them instructions that led them to the machine in the first place. I can only conclude he forgot to tell everyone that the objective of the battle had changed. I don't see how else to read things, and that's pretty ridiculous. Honestly it feels like there's a page missing, since the panels flow unnaturally into each other without an explanation on how the heroes suddenly went from teaming up against Galactus to destroying his machine while Galactus is elsewhere.
The action scenes of the heroes going against Galactus, by the way, are pretty lame - I think these might be the least interesting fights of the entire series, nowhere near as dynamic or engaging as literally any of the hero-villain combat. Galactus is just this immobile pillar that barely even seem to notice when he's getting hit, and the heroes just kind of fling rocks at him or shoot beams, if they're not getting blasted back by vaguely defined waves of energy because there's no way to depict this gigantic figure realistically doing a physical attack and not completely splattering someone. What you end up with is the Big Bad putting up less of a convincing fight than his random defense drones, which is just pathetic. It's also telling that short of Hulk getting a shot of eye-beams, Galactus doesn't actually hurt anyone. When the freaking Wrecking Crew come off as more threatening, you dun goofed.
While all this is going on, we do get a few nuggets of more promising material in there - which are naturally all of Doctor Doom's scenes. After spending an issue and change as an apparent husk, it's revealed that Doctor Doom recovered from his stupor just in time to find the answer he was looking for since Secret Wars #1. It's very satisfying to realize that the multi-issue trip to the Worldship wasn't in vain after all - the discovery of Klaw proves to be key to Doom's plans. It's almost like his arc in this series is consistent and well-plotted! Klaw is, for once not annoying but outright funny - especially when he starts doing his rhyming thing with 'Doctor Doom-oom-oom's dissecting room-oom-oom…' and asks about Doom's personal tape recorder. Add to all this the dramatic final promise that Doom is going to unleash his master plan at long last, and I'm completely down with this. Doctor Doom is the best thing about this entire series, I swear, and I love it.
So, where does this leave the issue? The Doom stuff is cool, yes, and quite promising. But it's embedded in an issue-long fight scene that's very contrived and poorly plotted. There's a handful of amusing scenes in here, but they're all irrelevant filler material that doesn't have much to do with the actual story. The divide between the two hero factions is finally healed, I suppose… but not in any sort of satisfying way. And Reed Richards gets a bunch of time to make up his mind, but ultimately justifies his actions with selfishness, foregoing any grand philosophical position the comic was implying. Meh. I have to admit… much like last issue, I'm really not feeling this one. Secret Wars needs to get its act together, soon. (Yes, that is me foreshadowing that the next issue is kinda great, you got it!) Another 2 stars for this one, though.
Best Panel(s) of the Issue
Although it's left a bit vague what Galactus is actually doing here - shooting lasers, I presume - this shot of various heroes getting driven back is pretty nice, with special emphasis on Cap and the Hulk. Thor looks a little goofy with his bent hammer, though.
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
"I must be free! At once! Before opportunity evades my grasp!"
"Every utterance of Doom must be recorded for posterity!"
Doom's Bad Hair Day
Look, I know it's a dramatic moment in which Doctor Doom finally goes to achieve his grand series-long plan… but this panel looks absolutely goofy as hell and the nose of Doom's mask appears to have fallen off, leaving him to resemble the freaking Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz with a Shrek jaw. What the hell.
Doom-Tech of the Week
Just... he made a Cosmic Empowerment Machine by slicing a guy made of sound into ribbons and then arranging them around himself. That's just inspired, isn't it?
Cover
I actually like this cover quite a lot! It's a nice dynamic image of the heroes doing a full-on charge attack against a great threat, with both the Avengers and the X-Men accounted for. Actually, there's a remarkable amount of shading work going on in this cover compared to some of the others, particularly in Cap's suit and shield, Iron Man's armor, and that smoke rising to the top right. I also like how defined that rock Hulk is carrying seems to be, and the design of the Torch's flame trail. Honestly, if this sort of coloring was more commonplace in these issues, I probably would like them more. Maybe it's just a better scan than the others? Though googling the other covers doesn't really give me superior scans anywhere...
Story Overview
Assault on Galactus!
Finally, the plot progresses! We open on Colossus rushing out of a house in Zsaji's village to discover the sky alight with power as Galactus begins nomming on Battleworld. Lenin's beard! Colossus is a bit fatalistic, figuring if the end is going to come, it should come while Zsaji is still unconscious and unaware of the threat. He begins proclaiming her beauty, nobility and selflessness, and rejects the idea that maybe her healing powers had something to do with his affection - no, he knew he loved her from the moment he was her! Alas, but she loves another! He decides it doesn't matter - he doesn't want anything in return for his love, since it's not some commodity to be bartered. He only cares that she's happy - and if that's with someone else, so be it. As his flesh turns to steel, he announces that he goes now to fight for her life - let anyone who threatens her, even Galactus, beware his might!
High above Galactus' mountain Storm soars on tornado-force winds, and storm clouds gather at her bidding. At her mental command they begin raining down bursts of lightning, aiming straight for Galactus and his mammoth machine. They… are beneath his notice.
Magneto wonders what they're supposed to do if the giant doesn't even notice such an onslaught, but Professor X refuses to stop, having promised Captain America they would do what they could if Galactus were to begin eating. He declares that from this moment on he'll communicate telepathically, and they will all obey instantly! Joy. He commands Rogue to attack from the air, while Nightcrawler and Cyclops follow her offensive.
Cyclops thinks to himself that he's never heard the Professor be this intense before - probably because he realize they're committing suicide. He reasons that Xavier must have known since the start that things would lead to this, which is why he's been colder, harder, more authoritative since the moment they arrived on this planet. He'd mellowed out over the last couple years, but it makes sense he'd revert to his old ways when he knew he'd be sending children to their deaths! Cyclops suddenly notices that a strange device suddenly appeared out of thin air near Galactus - a defensive drone of some sort, perhaps?
Storm warns Rogue to be careful as the latter flies towards the asteroid-like probe. Rogue declares she's ready for anything, and if it's dangerous, she's pretty hard to hurt! The probe suddenly projects several beams of solid light, and Rogue flies straight into one of them, knocking herself unconscious.
She really needs to start paying attention. Magneto tosses some huge boulders at the probe, and loudly complains that a mere toy of Galactus is giving them trouble! Cyclops tells him to keep going, while Nightcrawler briefly considers getting the Professor out after he gets blasted aside by another beam, but is convinced otherwise by Wolverine.
Nightcrawler teleports to the probe, but Cyclops warns him that it's too dangerous - he should get out now! He slams down a fist onto the sphere, declaring he'll take out its sensors, but is soon blasted off by yet another beam of forceful light, and he careens away with a scream. Wolverine sees this and declares that Nightcrawler has bought them a chance - maybe at the cost of his life. Now what? The Professor tells Magneto to stand ready, then commands Cyclops to give a full-force optic blast at his command. Strike!
Down in Zsaji's village, three heroes watch an enormous mushroom cloud rise up from the mountain. It's Hawkeye, Captain Marvel, and the newly revived Wasp, staring on in horror and wondering what happened. Captain Marvel figures if it was the X-Men up there, they're sure dead after such a blast, while the Wasp wonders if they should go up there and help. Hawkeye decides that, nah, they'd better wait for Cap to arrive. You know, strike as a unit. I guess he got used to Cap's strategy of 'let's wait and see', huh?
Over at the recently conquered Doombase, the rest of the heroes are heading out to back up the X-Men after last issue's distress call in one of their alien aircraft. We also get confirmation that they haven't heard anything about the Wasp's revival, since Hulk wonders where Captain Marvel and Hawkeye are, and he's told that they went to retrieve Wasp's body for burial and haven't returned yet. Cap wonders if they have the good sense not to attack before they're all reunited - so I guess hanging around not helping allies because your friends haven't arrived is actually standard operating procedure.
Inside the aircraft, the Hulk sits on the floor and becomes the incredible sulk. Thor wonders why he's so gloomy, and wonders if perhaps he's sad he doesn't fit in the chairs. He declares he shouldn't feel sad about that - they were clearly made for insect men - or by trolls, for torture! Heh. If instead it's the impending battle that troubles him, Thor muses, he should just imagine the chance for glory that lays in wait! Even more than Ragnarok, this is the battle he was born to fight! The Hulk, too, is a warrior born - the taste of berserker battle-lust will surely raise his spirit! Hulk isn't so sure, explaining that he lost his boundless rage when he gained the intelligence of Bruce Banner in this form, and now he's losing even that! He's neither smart enough, nor savage enough, to be relevant.
Johnny brags that he's not sure why anyone's worried at all - he's here, so how can they lose? Ben tells him to shut up, worrying that they're heading for the big fight while he's useless. Johnny tells him to cheer up, since at least he's better looking this way. Ben tells him to beat it, and complains that on Earth he can't turn human at all, but here it seems to happen when he most needs to be the Thing! If he can change back and forth, why can't he control it like Johnny? He smacks a fist down, and when it lands it's orange and rocky - he's turned back! He jumps at his teammate in joy, giving him a big rocky hug. Johnny complains that it'll make quite the headline: 'Affectionate hug slays Human Torch en route to battle - universe destroyed as a result.'
Iron Man muses to himself that the new Spider-Woman is pretty weird, since she's very quiet and stares at people a lot. Never cracks a smile, either. She claims to be on their side, but… maybe it'd be best to keep an eye on her. Besides, he reasons, she's got great legs! Yeah. He decides they have one thing in common, at least - they're strangers here. A lot of these people have worked with Iron Man before, but that was with Tony Stark in the suit, and Rhodey believes they've started to realize that there's a different guy in the suit. They're keeping their distance, probably doubtful about him, untrusting. It doesn't matter, he decides, since with this armor he's 'one ba-ad dude', especially since Reed souped it up. As soon as the fight starts, he decides, he'll show them he's the real Iron Man! James Rhodes, Iron Man now and forever! Yeah!
Spider-Man jumps into the scene, ricocheting off the walls in enthusiasm about his brand new black suit. He careens past Johnny and proclaims joyfully: 'I've got my webs back!' before shooting him in the face with said webs. Torch complains that the new stuff is even harder to remove than the old as he burns it away, and Spidey explains that it's to do with his new costume - it makes its own webs, and the shooters fire when he thinks about doing it! And that's not all: the suit can do anything! He demonstrates by retracting the suit from his arms and legs, declaring he's got a ready-made short-sleeves suit for summer!
Reed admits he'd love to look at the thing in a lab sometime - if there is a 'sometime' ever again, or if he ever sees his lab again. He apologizes for sounding defeatist, and wonders why Spider-Man seems so chipper under the circumstances. Spidey admits he's given up on pondering the imponderables, and that with the way this entire trip has been going, he's resorted to just taking things as they come. Reed wonders if he can do that, just accept the things that come, and admits that he can't stop searching for meaning behind all this - that's just not how he works.
He repeats the words of the Beyonder to himself, quoting from Secret Wars #1: 'I am from beyond! Slay your enemies and all you desire shall be yours! Nothing you dream of is impossible for me to accomplish!' At face value the whole thing is absurd. Why would a being so far removed from them and so powerful set up a stupid, simplistic 'good-versus-evil' gladiatorial contest? Is he some mad god? A cosmic idiot? And why were such specific people chosen? Why are they mostly from Earth? And why was Galactus included? He doesn't fit. Human beings and even Asgardians may be tempted to participate - but Galactus is a force of nature and doesn't really have enemies. Not any more than a hurricane or earthquake would. So why is he here? There must be more to it. What could the possible grander purpose be? Galactus must be key to the answer. Thank you for finally following up on the core concept of the entire series, literally anyone but Doctor Doom. Sheesh.
Cap suddenly yells out a warning to Reed, and their ship is hit by an energy discharge that sends them spiraling down to a crash landing. They try to activate stabilizers, retro-rockets, but it won't be enough - they're too low already! That's when Colossus suddenly appears, using his super-strength to catch the vessel just before it strikes the ground, buffering their landing with his body. Unfortunately he aggravated his injuries in the process, but Cap tells him that he'll have to make do - it's do or die time, after all. Reed explains that Galactus' machine is sending out power-tendrils to rip apart the planet before reducing it to energy, and one of those nicked their ship. It won't be long, now, before the world-burn starts. Wew, now there's a name to run away from really fast!
As the heroes head towards Galactus, Colossus takes a moment to consider the huge crater that remains on the side of the mountain. Did the X-Men die there? He wants nothing more than to go look for his friends, but he mustn't - he has a duty to the living, and to Zsaji! The heroes arrive to find Captain Marvel waiting for them, and she warns that Galactus' defense drones are dangerous, and the earlier explosion happened when one of them was damaged. Reed advises the others to avoid them as much as possible and focus on the machine instead, and Iron Man notes that should be a cinch with his new radar and in-flight dodging computers. He actually manages to dodge past the drones and get a hit on the apparatus, blowing off a chunk of metal. Reed is enthused, figuring it's proof that they can win this… and then realizes something startling.
Cap tells the others to press on, but Reed shouts that they have to stop! The Thing wonders what he's on about, and Reed explains that they can't go through with this, because he sees a purpose - a meaning to this whole conflict. They must not stop Galactus! Said cosmic force sends out a huge wave of force that sends the heroes reeling away like leaves in the wind. They're about to return to the fray when the Thing asks Reed to explain himself. Reed points out that they've already damaged Galactus' machine, done the impossible, and shown this is a fight they can win. Which is precisely why they must not fight! They have to let Galactus win! Cap says Reed isn't making any sense. Reed says he's making perfect sense, since for the first time he sees a possible purpose to the Secret Wars!
This is a chance, Reed explains, to finally rid the universe of the threat of Galactus! All they have to do is let him win the Beyonder's contest, and the Beyonder will grant him his wish of losing his planet-eating hunger! Cap wonders what happens if the Beyonder reneges on his promise, and Reed figures that, re-energized by eating Battleworld, he'd attack the Beyonder. He'd force them to pay up, or be destroyed in the attempt. Either way the universe wins. Countless billions who would have fallen prey to Galactus will live in peace! Spider-Man wonders why they were picked to make this sort of decision for the universe, and Reed points out they picked themselves by being superheroes - and regardless, Earth has a knack for being pivotal in the cosmic scheme of things.
Even as Ben and Johnny hesitantly begin accepting Reed's logic, he's suddenly engulfed in bright light, and he vanishes from sight. At the same time Galactus also disappears - as does the entire mountaintop! The other heroes stand baffled, unsure what to do, and Cap admits he's open to suggestions.
At that moment, millions of miles above on board the Worldship of Galactus, Reed stares in awe at his surroundings, which include a neatly sliced off mountaintop, complete with world-devouring machine, suspended in a force field. He can't quite seem to grasp what he's looking at, like Doom before him, seeing a whole world of inconceivable vistas, all of them built, created! Galactus oversees it all, and welcomes Reed to his home. Reed says he's honored to be acknowledged, and Galactus replies with a question: would he like to view his own home? Reed immediately agrees, and he's promptly shown an image of Sue and Franklin at home - she hasn't had the baby yet. Galactus agrees, and tells Reed to listen to his words…
Meanwhile, in a maximum security containment cell in Doombase, Doctor Doom remains unmoving. The comic quickly recaps the villain's recent escapades on board the Worldship, and the way Galactus reduced him to a tattered, charred ruin. Or so it seemed…! 'The world ship is the way!' Doom suddenly exclaims, finally rousing from his stupor. At last he sees - the way he sought is the ship itself! He decides he must be free at once, or opportunity will escape his grasp. His armor's power is drained, which is why the heroes left it on him, or perhaps they were also afraid of the many booby traps awaiting any who would dare to remove it. But Doom is ever-prepared! He touches a button hidden on his boot, which activates a backup power supply… and again he wields power! Soon enough the cell door goes flying, and Doom steps forth.
The other villains beg Doom to free them as he passes but he has no use for them - except for one. He releases Klaw from captivity, the raving mad Master of Sound. He's the one Doom needs! Klaw is surprised, and observes that Doom narrates his every action as he goes along. Is he being taped? Doom admits that yes, he is - every utterance of Doom must be preserved for posterity! Doom then muses that Klaw himself is a recording of sorts, due to the time he spent as a vibration in the walls of the Worldship, and that's why he needs him. Klaw follows him, wondering where they're going. Doom explains they're going to a lab - to dissect him! 'Oh, good!' Klaw happily agrees.
Meanwhile, back at Zsaji's village, Colossus has begun excavating the crater on the side of the mountain for signs of the X-Men, figuring he'll only stop if he finds some sure sign they're dead, like their bodies. Suddenly his search is cut short, however, when an optic blast sears through the sky - Cyclops! 'You're alive!' Colossus exclaims in relief when the rest of the X-Men climb out of a cavity behind Cyclops. 'Good. I was tired of digging.' They quickly explain that because of the huge amount of energy it contained, they figured the probe might explode if he blasted it, so they had Magneto enclose them in a shell of earth and stone over-top to protect them from the blast. It was still, however, nearly enough to kill them anyway. Xavier observes that the Avengers have returned to the village, and decide the X-Men will do the same.
Back in town, we see Wasp informing people how she survived her apparent death, while Spider-Man looks on as Hawkeye whittles another new arrow - this one 'with Galactus's name on it' which is just comical. Colossus is relieved to see that Zsaji has awakened from her coma, and smiles as the woman rushes over with her arms wide - only to pass straight by and greet Johnny. Ouch. Johnny isn't actually that interested in dealing with her at the moment, too worried about what happened to Reed to think of much else. Impending apocalypse? Time to get some last-minute loving in. Friend got kidnapped? Now it's time to worry.
Cap and Hulk discuss what to do, suggesting they return to their tried-and-true 'wait around for shit to happen' method. Captain Marvel suggests scrounging up some spaceships and launching an assault on the Worldship. Ben points out that Reed said not to attack Galactus… so he's not gonna. Iron Man says he's not exactly ready to die sitting on his hands.
Reed suddenly reappears among them, explaining that he… had tea with Galactus. Apparently Galactus believes Reed is a 'force of the universe' just as he himself is - that he is a champion of life, just as Galactus is an instrument of death. He also showed him Sue and Franklin. He's not sure what that all adds up to, though. It seems right to him to sacrifice Battleworld so that countless billions might be spared - isn't that what a champion of life would decide? Or was Galactus telling him that he must fight, even for these few lives here? He's not sure. Ben admits that one less orange rock monster isn't going to matter much to the universe, so he shouldn't champion the few. Hawkeye isn't on board, calling them a bunch of quitters - cowards!
Just then, Galactus reappears on top of the mountain with his machine - he's restarting the process. Cap decides that he's going to fight, no matter what. He'll leave it to everyone to do as their conscience dictates. He then turns to Xavier, and tells him that despite their differences, he considers their earlier actions a great service to the rest of them - and to the universe, as far as he is concerned. He then asks if they can side by side in this fight - he figures they've certainly earned that much. Xavier gratefully accepts. The Hulk, impatient, declares: 'Let's go!'
Back at Doombase, Doctor Doom is looking on as the battle progresses, and is gleeful to realize that there is still time. He notes that the rip in spacetime from Secret Wars #1 has reappeared as well - the Beyonder is paying close attention, perhaps realizing the significance of what's happening - or of what's going to happen. Perfect! But, Doom decides, he must act quickly - he must complete his dissection and assemble his apparatus in mere minutes! Nearby, cut in pieces like a birthday cake with various parts spread around a table, Klaw is nevertheless still merrily chanting away, and says that as solidified sounds, cutting into him doesn't actually hurt, just tingle-ingle-ingle. He also wonders if he's allowed to speak poetry into Doom's tape recorder, before reciting 'bells' by Edgar Allan Poe. I can see why it appealed to him, honestly…
With the assault on Galactus in full swing, we see the cover image repeated with blasts and beams going every which way, while lightning and boulders are flung and several characters… jump closer menacingly? Galactus appears to have stopped using his drones, and Spider-Man figures that's a good sign. (I figure Shooter didn't know how to realistically get rid of them in the limited page-count that remains...)
While Galactus might be weakening, he's still no pushover - he blasts the heroes with force-beams of his own. Most of them hunker down behind terrain, their shield, or whatever might be nearby. Those who can't are flung the hell back down the mountain. The Hulk declares he's going to smash Galactus once and for all, but gets blasted by the giant's eye-beams. Johnny flares up and blasts Galactus with his flames, which is enough distraction that the Hulk gets away alive.
Ben soon starts tearing away at the mountain in an attempt to undercut the huge machine, severing the anchor rods that keep it stuck in the rock. Reed approaches Cap and explains that Galactus used an enormous amount of energy to transport his Worldship here, and he probably hasn't fed for months, so his energy must be running dry - he can be beaten! Cap is glad to see Reed, but isn't sure what happened that could have changed his mind about letting Galactus win. Reed admits that he still isn't sure if what they're doing is right, in the cosmic scheme of things - but he admits that what he wants more than anything is to see his baby born, and he's willing to fight for it.
Reed instructs Iron Man to hit Galactus head on, as his armor is capable of tanking the ion-beams that he's projecting. He tells Rogue to go after him, but to watch for the eye-beams. Spider-Man is told to get behind Galactus, while Ben and Thor should close in when they have the chance. Iron Man gets a good hit in, and somehow this leaves the machine wide open to attack? I'm not sure how it works, but it seems like Galactus is suddenly far away while the heroes attack the device with everything they have. Reed suddenly declares that they shouldn't attack the machine - they should get Galactus! Capture him! Disable him if they must! He must not escape!
The heroes are confused about why there's been such a sudden change of plans, and it's far too late to actually do what Reed is saying, as Galactus soon ascends into the sky like a rocket. Reed cries that it's too late - they've failed. Iron Man and Hawkeye wonder what he's on about now - the big guy is gone and his machine has been trashed. That was the win condition, right? Reed says that they lost, because right at that very moment, Galactus is entering his Worldship. He'll probably take a look around - his last look! You see, he doesn't actually need the machine to devour a world - it just make the energy absorption far more efficient. Under the circumstances, he'll surely make do without!
Sure enough, Galactus begins glowing, and soon after the Worldship follows. Galactus is devouring his own Worldship, perhaps the greatest energy source in the known universe. Moments after he's finished, Battleworld will be next, and then probably the local sun, too. He'll consume every iota of energy he can find in case he has to take on the Beyonder! They're dead men! Energy flows through the void, making the sun seem dim by comparison, and in the center of the nimbus of fundamental forces, Galactus prepares to drink in the power cosmic…
'Now!' declares Doctor Doom at his most dramatic, standing amidst a vast array of lenses crafted from living sound, perfectly and singularly attuned to the energy frequency of the Worldship. 'Now I will steal this power… and draw it here, to Doom!'
To be continued...
Rating & Comments
This issue is dominated by action… and yet it left me utterly cold. Even last issue managed that aspect better, I think! Maybe it's that all the combat is so abstract here, since the targets are vaguely defined drones or Galactus, who doesn't even react to anything that's going on half the time. It just seems like half the characters have no realistic way to affect the battle one way or another, and the rest shouldn't either. After spending a bunch of issues confirming how powerful Galactus is, like the fact that it took an extremely powerful combined telepathic attack to even tickle the guy, he's suddenly reduced to nothing to facilitate a fight scene. His equivalent to a guard dog is a giant death-robot that it took an entire team of heroes to kill and his probes detonate with the force of a nuclear bomb, but apparently a bunch of those same robots wantonly throwing attacks around is enough to make him resort to desperate solutions? I… really don't get it. It seems like Jim Shooter is desperately attempting to retcon previous claims from this very series to justify the heroes having a sliver of a chance, and that's pretty cheap.
The best combat scene, in as much as that applies, is probably the X-Men against that first probe - they actually seem to put some effort into planning out their assault, and Magneto's involvement in the team's survival is foreshadowed. Not sure why they never considered using the other probes as weapons against Galactus' device, given what happens when they get damaged… and why did they randomly disappear mid-way through the issue? Just an excuse to given the heroes an easier time? Meh. What I really don't understand though is the later 'we're friends now' scene where Cap apparently believes the X-Men did some great feat here which makes them trustworthy. Like, sure, they came through on keeping vigil while the rest of the heroes were away… but they didn't actually succeed at even slowing Galactus down. Nothing would have changed if they'd been entirely absent. Why is Professor X so happy to accept praise when he is fully aware that they only barely survived against a single defense probe, never mind facing Galactus? I guess the intent matters more than their actual effectiveness...
The issue isn't entirely action, I have to note, since there's an extended scene early on which is all about the heroes casually shooting the shit while en route to the fight. Hulk sulks and Thor has some funny lines to cheer him up, Ben sulks and Johnny has some funny lines to cheer him up, and Rhodey desperately tries to psyche himself up while Spider-Man bounces around the place in short-shorts. It's a mish-mash of moods, but it works well enough as a sort of last-minute sitrep of where everyone's head-space is at. I don't mind its inclusion, even if it does feel like a fair bit of filler content in a story that could have used more competently drawn and convincing action scenes instead.
Reed Richards is the obvious pivotal character in this issue, getting basically all the major story beats, but not in a good way. On one hand I can see Reed going for a utilitarian conclusion like sacrifice a hundred to save a million, as he's a pragmatic scientist type who puts aside emotions in favor of cold hard logic - on the other hand, this is a man who once saved Galactus himself because of his belief that life is precious. I could see him giving his own life, sure, but those of innocents? Just for the chance of avoiding future deaths? It seems unlikely. I'm similarly not too convinced of Ben Grimm's character interpretation. Would he really jump on board with a plan that would kill him and everyone else around him, never mind buying into it to the point that he starts threatening to beat people up for not wanting to commit suicide?
Of course, whether or not you actually agree with Reed on the whole 'let Galactus win' thing is immaterial to the far more annoying aspect Reed demonstrates in this issue: shouting at people to do things without properly explaining himself. He does this twice! The first time he at least has the excuse that he only just thought of what he's shouting - even if it seems unlikely he wouldn't have thought of the whole thing, since Galactus proclaimed his intentions to get rid of his hunger back in Secret Wars #1. I guess only us readers (and Doom) were privy to that particular declaration? The second time he starts shouting that people are doing the wrong thing after giving them instructions that led them to the machine in the first place. I can only conclude he forgot to tell everyone that the objective of the battle had changed. I don't see how else to read things, and that's pretty ridiculous. Honestly it feels like there's a page missing, since the panels flow unnaturally into each other without an explanation on how the heroes suddenly went from teaming up against Galactus to destroying his machine while Galactus is elsewhere.
The action scenes of the heroes going against Galactus, by the way, are pretty lame - I think these might be the least interesting fights of the entire series, nowhere near as dynamic or engaging as literally any of the hero-villain combat. Galactus is just this immobile pillar that barely even seem to notice when he's getting hit, and the heroes just kind of fling rocks at him or shoot beams, if they're not getting blasted back by vaguely defined waves of energy because there's no way to depict this gigantic figure realistically doing a physical attack and not completely splattering someone. What you end up with is the Big Bad putting up less of a convincing fight than his random defense drones, which is just pathetic. It's also telling that short of Hulk getting a shot of eye-beams, Galactus doesn't actually hurt anyone. When the freaking Wrecking Crew come off as more threatening, you dun goofed.
While all this is going on, we do get a few nuggets of more promising material in there - which are naturally all of Doctor Doom's scenes. After spending an issue and change as an apparent husk, it's revealed that Doctor Doom recovered from his stupor just in time to find the answer he was looking for since Secret Wars #1. It's very satisfying to realize that the multi-issue trip to the Worldship wasn't in vain after all - the discovery of Klaw proves to be key to Doom's plans. It's almost like his arc in this series is consistent and well-plotted! Klaw is, for once not annoying but outright funny - especially when he starts doing his rhyming thing with 'Doctor Doom-oom-oom's dissecting room-oom-oom…' and asks about Doom's personal tape recorder. Add to all this the dramatic final promise that Doom is going to unleash his master plan at long last, and I'm completely down with this. Doctor Doom is the best thing about this entire series, I swear, and I love it.
So, where does this leave the issue? The Doom stuff is cool, yes, and quite promising. But it's embedded in an issue-long fight scene that's very contrived and poorly plotted. There's a handful of amusing scenes in here, but they're all irrelevant filler material that doesn't have much to do with the actual story. The divide between the two hero factions is finally healed, I suppose… but not in any sort of satisfying way. And Reed Richards gets a bunch of time to make up his mind, but ultimately justifies his actions with selfishness, foregoing any grand philosophical position the comic was implying. Meh. I have to admit… much like last issue, I'm really not feeling this one. Secret Wars needs to get its act together, soon. (Yes, that is me foreshadowing that the next issue is kinda great, you got it!) Another 2 stars for this one, though.
Best Panel(s) of the Issue
Although it's left a bit vague what Galactus is actually doing here - shooting lasers, I presume - this shot of various heroes getting driven back is pretty nice, with special emphasis on Cap and the Hulk. Thor looks a little goofy with his bent hammer, though.
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
"I must be free! At once! Before opportunity evades my grasp!"
"Every utterance of Doom must be recorded for posterity!"
Doom's Bad Hair Day
Look, I know it's a dramatic moment in which Doctor Doom finally goes to achieve his grand series-long plan… but this panel looks absolutely goofy as hell and the nose of Doom's mask appears to have fallen off, leaving him to resemble the freaking Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz with a Shrek jaw. What the hell.
Doom-Tech of the Week
Just... he made a Cosmic Empowerment Machine by slicing a guy made of sound into ribbons and then arranging them around himself. That's just inspired, isn't it?
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What does who look like?
Oh, I left in an aborted thought, huh? Fixed! There, now I've
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097: Secret Wars #10 - Death to the Beyonder!
- Location
- Netherlands
097: Marvel Super Heroes - Secret Wars #10 (February 1985)
Cover
Yeah. You remember how I mentioned my favorite Doctor Doom covers had yet to come, but to wait until Secret Wars came around? This cover is awesome, and in my opinion it's easily the best of the whole collection. I love the details here, including circuitry visible on the inside of the armor where it's been ripped off, visible under-armor supports that have ripped free around the knees and shoulder, detached circular attachments lying around on the floor, and even the severed cord that usually hangs between the large golden plates that hold up Doom's cloak. My only point of contention is the white color of Doom's mask compared to the rest of his armor's darker grey. I'm told that's related to an accident in which part of the image was whited out before the cover headed to the inkers... I guess they didn't have time to fix it. If you want a remastered and recolored version of this cover, here is one from Mike Zeck, who drew this issue:
Story Overview
Death to the Beyonder!
Fresh off Reed failing to explain himself properly and accidentally allowing Galactus to escape, we see the heroes stare up into the sky as the gargantuan solar system-sized Worldship begins to dissolve into pure energy to serve as a meal for its owner. The Thing is incredulous, wondering if Galactus really decided to give up consuming the mud-ball they're on in favor of eating his own home. Reed figures he'll come back later and have Battleworld as dessert. Reed tells everyone to cover their eyes or they'll be blinded - Iron Man wonders what it matters if they're all about to die anyway - who wants to see death coming? There's a brilliant flash, and for a moment we see everyone's very skeleton through their skin like an X-Ray scan. Best get a cancer checkup later, guys…
High above, the last remnants of Galactus' ship are reduced to raw energy in the void, and drawn in to the spread-eagle form of Galactus, who prepares to drink deeply - when suddenly the energy is ripped away from him! The heroes stare incredulously as they realize the energy is moving in a different direction, towards Doombase! Johnny immediately figures it's Doom's doing, but then argues that it can't be, since they left him imprisoned with the rest of the bad guys. 'Who else, then?' Rogue wonders.
Captain Marvel heads off to perform reconnaissance, flying over at lightspeed and peeking inside to discover that Doom escaped and built a huge machine in their absence, using it to draw cosmic energy into himself. She decides she'd better head back and inform Cap and Reed about this! That's when Professor X suddenly asserts himself, telepathically linking Captain Marvel with Reed so he can see through her eyes. He, after all, is best qualified to interpret the meaning and significance of what she's witnessing!
Doctor Doom soon rises from his prone position, declaring it's finished - the power is his! He raises his hands, astounded at what's happening around him - his merest whim alters reality around him! Stone and steel are wisps of nothing which bend and transform at the smallest stray thought! Indeed, the walls around him turn into reflections of his mask, and his own eyes look down at him. Doom decides he must figure out how to control this - how to separate the gossamer material world from his thoughts, before reality and imagination become hopelessly intermingled. Within moments he gathers his will, and reality reasserts itself around him, and he lets out a sigh in relief…
Soon the next problem asserts itself - Doom suddenly perceives everything around him as his senses expand. Of course, Doom decides, omniscience is a necessary consequence of omnipotence - it's a side-effect! Suddenly he feels every cell, every atom. Their textures, their movement, the dance of infinity!
No physical barrier can restrain his senses. He sees - no, it's more than seeing, he encompasses all that is around him. And there are more senses than before, including a certain empathy. Those imprisoned below, he now knows their every thought, secret, gnawing desire. How they seethe with hungers and wants! The minds of lesser men were always open books to Doom, but now he can plumb the dark depths of their soul with a mere glance. He is aware. Aware of many things - including a certain eavesdropper...
Back with the heroes, Professor X announces that something's terribly wrong - the mind-link with Captain Marvel was suddenly cut off. Cap orders everyone over to the X-Men's ship, but it's not going anywhere - it was crushed by boulders during the fight with Galactus. With the Avengers ship similarly ruined in a recent crash, they're running low on options. Cap suggests that all the fast heroes head over and help out Captain Marvel and take whatever action against Doom they feel is appropriate. Magneto interrupts, declaring that's not necessary - they should all get in the broken ship. Cyclops observes that it's too broken to fly, and has no power - but Magneto just tells him that it's not necessary. He is the power! Using the villain's magnetic control, the heroes soon speed off towards Doombase…
Nightcrawler observes that the ship never flew this fast under its own power, and Cap admits that Magneto is finally living up to his own hype - in those words, too! Magneto wonders if Cap would have preferred he fail - or perhaps that was meant to mean 'well done' - in which case he humbly thanks the hero. Cap just tell him: 'at ease, mister!' Magneto points out that allies should be at ease with each other, but Cap is clearly troubled by him. Is it his awesome power? Is he jealous, maybe? Or is it just because he's a mutant? Cap dryly points out that Magneto tries to kill them all multiple times in his various supervillainous schemes, which is pretty hard to forget. And he trusts other mutants, like Professor X who vouched for Magneto in the first place, and the rest of the X-Men.
Wolverine cuts in with his own comments, finally resolving that inexplicable anti-Cap attitude he's had all series. He tells Captain America that mutants are fighting a war; always have been, always will be. Cap is this champion of the American Dream, fighting for liberty and justice, all up in his high-falutin' ideals - but he only fights for his own kind. For humans, regular Americans. But when has he ever stood up for mutants?
He'll just stand by while they're being persecuted? Some of the god-fearing Americans he protects hate mutants, and when they come after them, it looks a lot like what Nazis did to the Jews. Xavier wants them to hide, help humanity to try and earn acceptance and fit in… But when people are threatening you and yours, it's easy to fall into what Magneto does - and fight back. To take the offensive and drive them into the sea.
Professor X might have convinced Magneto to lay off on his violent methods, to stop taking the expedient route and using noble ends to justify his violent means… and still Cap won't stop antagonizing Magneto! Makes him wonder if maybe Magneto was right. Cap argues that nothing justifies terrorism or murder, and Wolverine replies that 'terrorists' is just what the big army calls the little army. He has to be held back by the other X-Men as he snarls in rage. He used to have so much respect for Cap, he declares.
Meanwhile, back with Doctor Doom, he considers the space-time rip that still hangs in the sky, signaling that the Beyonder is keeping a close eye on proceedings. These are critical moments… but just how critical is for Doom to decide. The Beyonder told everyone to slay each other for a prize. He now has the power to slay everyone in the world with but a wave of his hand, reducing the heroic minions of Captain America to dust. Should he, though? Should he demand some prize for the Beyonder? What could he ask for that isn't already within his grasp? Are those heroes really his enemies, or is there now only one foe in all existence worthy of Doom? The Beyonder himself?
Klaw starts talking from his dissection table, declaring that the Beyonder is mighty and tough, and beating him will be pretty rough! Doom wonders if he should settle for being second, but decides that he is Doom - as long as he knew there was someone greater than him, he could never rest. Klaw notes he doesn't have a chance, which would discourage most people. Doom admits that he is the David to the Beyonder's Goliath… but David had a sling, and knew a weakness to exploit, so he came out victorious. He too knows something about the Beyonder, because he tried to invade the being's realm back in Secret Wars #1. He was repelled, true, but not before his armor analyzed much of the being's energies!
Doom pours his new cosmic energies into himself, making several adjustments based on the data he collected, and borrowing some technology from the device that Galactus was using to absorb Battleworld. He constructs for himself his proverbial 'sling', concealed within the breastplate of his newest armor. It's pretty similar to his usual gear, but it looks more sci-fi and loses the green tabard and cape in favor of just a green breastplate. He'll have to get very close indeed to use his secret weapon, he decides - within arm's length even. Still, David had to draw the giant's spear to get within range, too! Now, he announces to Klaw, he goes to walk through the valley of the shadow of death… Farewell!
At that moment the heroes smash their way into Doombase en masse, only to realize that Doom is no longer home. They go to check on the other prisoners, and discover everyone's still locked up - but Klaw is missing. Spider-Man decides he'll start searching the huge fort, but Nightcrawler tells him the Professor can probably track him down telepathically, which should be faster. Down in the lab, Spider-Woman is shocked to discover Captain Marvel… or a life-sized hologram of her. It seems Doom froze her in her light-form, rendering her harmless.
Klaw's head pipes up from the nearby dissection table, declaring they're quite right about the lady of light-ite-ite! Reed deduces that Doom sliced up the sound-based villain to make the lenses for his empowering machine, then asks Klaw where Doom went, what he's up to. The conversation is interrupted when there's a sudden massive earthquake that sends everyone flying. Klaw declares that Doom will be right back with them - he's just off to use some gadget in his armor to steal the Beyonder's power! Cap wonders if Doom is insane, and Klaw notes that's probably why they get along so well! Heh.
At that moment, somewhere inside the Beyonder's portal, we see Doom face off with the mysterious being, raising his hand as he's engulfed in cosmic energies. The Beyonder declares, as he did in the first issue, that Doom cannot approach him! Doom responds that perhaps the Beyonder should approach him, then! On his knees, if he has knees! He demands the Beyonder to cringe before his master, to grovel before Doom, coward!
Back at Doombase, Hulk observes that whatever is going is shaking the base to pieces, and it could easily handle an atomic strike - what forces are at play here? Cap tells Spider-Man and the Thing to fetch She-Hulk from the infirmary, figuring they'll need every hand on deck, wounded or not. Reed manages to get a monitor working and observes the Beyonder's portal, the source of the gravitational disturbance that's messing everything up. Shock-waves in the space-time continuum are causing upheaval for a hundred cubic parsecs - only violent exchanges of energy at unimaginable scale could cause this sort of thing. Doom and the Beyonder are firing gargantuan force-bolts at each other!
Reed muses that he can't look inside the spacetime rip with this equipment, and Iron Man suggests he soup it up like he did his armor. Reed admits there's no time for something like that, but there should be enough equipment around to find Galactus and retrieve him - maybe revive him. Iron Man wonders if they don't have enough on their hands without bringing back a genocidal monster like that. Reed admits that it's a long shot, but if Doom were to turn his attention away from the Beyonder and back on the heroes, they'll need the power of Galactus on their side to stand a chance. Reed soon located the floating body of Galactus and tractor beams it down.
Nearby, Spidey and the Thing are carrying She-Hulk along when they're thrown off their feet by another shock-wave, but the former manages to use his speed to catch the wounded lady before she hits the ground. They head into the central room to find that everything's even more smashed than before, and Reed is buried under heavy equipment. The Thing rushes over and frees his teammate, but Reed can't seem to catch his breath… The other heroes use the working monitor to check on Battleworld, but there's global devastation - whether or not any of them are okay might soon be rather academic knowledge.
Colossus asks if they can quickly check up on Zsaji's village, and it's doing no better than anywhere else. Zsaji is actually on screen, and she's visibly hurt - and she was already doing badly to begin with. He wishes he could be there for her, but after a moment of wrestling with himself, he admits that Zsaji wouldn't be interested in anyone except Johnny. He does the decent thing and tells the Human Torch that his girlfriend has been injured. Johnny… blows it off, declaring that he's got no time for a 'chippie' now that Reed is injured, and he'll send her a card later. Colossus becomes enraged at his choice of words. Chippie? Chippie? I feel you, man. Apparently 'chippie' is ye olde slang for a prostitute or promiscuous woman. What a douche! Before Colossus can make more of it, they're all blown over by another shock-wave…
Shrieking wounds protest and the world distorts as it is battered by forces beyond comprehension. Even the sun it orbits seems like it's on the verge of being blown out like a candle, visibly deforming from cataclysmic energy pouring from the time-space rip. There, in the realm of the Beyonder, Doom wonders if there is no end to the Beyonder's strength. With every second his enemy doubles and redoubles his onslaught, and though Doom must get closer, his power is not enough! His attack has been blunted, his energy ebbs, and his defenses are beginning to crumble. It's hopeless - he cannot hit the Beyonder, any more than the anvil can strike the hammer! There must be… a way!
Suddenly Doom's power gives, and he's engulfed by the cataclysmic outpouring of the Beyonder's energies, severing one of his legs and sending him careening backwards in abject agony, parts of his armor searing away. 'Th-thus falls Doom…' he says to himself, before denying that thought vehemently. No! What is pain to one such as he? He will shut it out. Other men fall prey to the specter of Death, and when her chill embrace seems imminent they simply swoon into her arms. Not him! He is Doom! He denies death! Victor von Doom must not die!
A stillness suddenly sweeps through the fabric of reality, a trough between waves of chaos, and the ruins of Doombase finally shiver and settle. In the lab the heroes gather themselves, and Professor X warns that someone is coming - someone awesome, in the classical sense of the word. Spider-Man concurs, saying that his spider-sense is going 'bazonkers' - whoever's coming is extremely dangerous!
Suddenly Doctor Doom himself materializes among them, introducing himself as such but declaring he's far more than the being they knew, as he has transcended mortality itself. And yet he is their champion, fighting for their sake! He declares he's about to crush the Beyonder, who in his cosmic arrogance brought them all here to fight for his amusement. 'Slay your enemies' he said, but in truth he is the real enemy. While he can reach them, the universe is not safe from his manipulations, so he must be utterly defeated and sealed away beyond his portal forever - or be destroyed! In the name of all who exist in the universe, he has dared to attack the Beyonder, and the battle has gone well - the being cringes in terror now, marshaling his failing strength, hence the lull in the battle.
That momentary pause too, has allowed him to appear before them in this moment. He's here to grant them the opportunity to share in his glorious conquest, to lend him their power. To hasten his defeat, they have but to take his hand. After victory they shall be granted power beyond measure, with which they may further their noble purposes. They should know he speaks the truth - they should feel it. Magneto rushes forward at the offer, eager to take the offer, but then his eyes meet Xavier's and he hesitates. For a long second he trembles on the brink, before he's suddenly tackled by the Wasp, Iron Man and Hawkeye who drag him to the floor.
Doom's form vanishes even as Magneto tries to wrestle himself free. Hawkeye declares that he doesn't buy Doom's spiel for a minute. No matter how sincerely he sounds, there's no way he's the type to change his spots like that - and from the looks of it, neither is Magneto! Magneto blasts the heroes off of him and gets to his feet, and Hawkeye points out to the X-Men that Magneto just tried to throw his lot in with Doom, the same person who took out Captain Marvel only minutes before. Does he have to kill someone right in front of them before he counts as a bad guy, or what? If they can't even agree on this much, maybe it's time to start wondering about the rest of them!
Captain America interrupts the speech, pointing out that everyone was tempted by Doom's speech - there was probably some sort of mental control involved, and Magneto might have gotten the biggest dose. And the way he saw it, Magneto stopped himself before the rest of them jumped him - he did nothing wrong! He's innocent! And as for what he might have done in the past - they already agreed to set that aside for the duration when they accepted him alongside the X-Men as an ally. Besides, he finally notes, they're not sure what's happening out there… so they might regret not helping Doom in the end…
Doom's final, desperate ploy didn't work out. He's once more engulfed in the Beyonder's onslaught - and this time there is no defense. Long minutes pass as we watch his smoking, dismembered body.
A nimbus of energy picks up the savaged remains, as the Beyonder begins to probe them for information. He focuses on Doom's brain, and soon images begin to parade before the eye of Doom. He sees Doom as he remembers himself from years past, a handsome gypsy youth. Prominent in the man's mind is he face of his mother, cruelly slain for her magical arts after failing to cure an ailing horse. He sees Doom finding his mother's possessions, and the growth of his knowledge in the science - normal and supernatural alike. He observes Doom's discovery that his mother's soul is trapped in an infernal netherworld, and the tragically failed attempt to contact her, which left his face a scarred ruin...
Finally the Beyonder beholds what these events wrought in the dark reaches of Doom's heart and mind. The desires which ruled this shattered man. Firstly there's a desire for power, as though usurping control over other men's destiny would serve as vengeance for lacking control over his own. Secondly, freedom for his mother's spirit, seized and held by Mephisto in his dark realm for arcane knowledge he granted her. Thirdly, the restoration of his ravaged face - the undoing of the horror that makes him wear his iron mask. The Beyonder reflects upon the concept of desire, all the passion, bitterness, and hatred with which it seethes - the mystery of it…
There is much else to investigate, the Beyonder decides, and perhaps he can explore this 'emptiness-which-drives' that is desire by exploring other organs. The bilateral symmetry of Doom's form is still evident despite his grievous wounds, and thus the Beyonder strips his body of clothing, leaving one half of his biology intact for comparison, before beginning… dissection of the rest.
His mask is pulled away, and as the icy vacuum of the Beyonder's realm washes across a bare face, Doom awakens. Awakens to feel half his body being peeled away, layer by layer. The agony, nausea and horror are beyond imagination, and death offers a swift escape which any mortal would gratefully accept… but not him. He is Doom! The breastplate he prepared still hovers nearby, detached by the Beyonder, who is close at hand. Doom's one remaining arm quivers, slow to respond, but he forces it to move. As his vision blurs, and a black warmth engulfs his consciousness, he reaches out, groping...
Down on the planet the shock-waves have resumed, and it's the biggest yet - the heroes scramble out of the way of falling debris even while Nightcrawler teleports Professor X out of imminent danger. Cap orders everyone outside, figuring no matter how bad it is there, it's better than getting buried inside. Cap then runs over towards the prison, where the villains beg to be released. The entire building has shifted due to the earthquakes, though, and the doors have gotten jammed. Cap smashes into them with his shield, but isn't getting very far.
Suddenly he's joined by Wolverine, who offers his help. Cap is thankful he's here, and Wolverine admits that he wouldn't let these people die in cages - no matter what they've done or whose side they're on. Magneto, too, wanted to head down here - he's got a thing about not letting people die like trapped rats, even humans - but Wolverine told him to go fetch the people still in the infirmary instead. Wolverine admits he didn't expect Cap here, but the Avenger just says that even these men have rights. He then orders the villains outside, admitting there's no guarantee of survival there either, but it's better than here.
As they rush towards safety, Wolverine admits that Cap is a better man than he'd given him credit for. Clearly he's an attacker and Cap's a defender, but it's obvious they're both soldiers. He's beginning to think that there's room in Cap's high-falutin' ideals for all people - including mutants. Isn't that right? Cap smirks, declaring that some of his best friends are people.
With everyone gathered outside, Johnny wonders if everyone is okay. Hulk says they are - but the planet isn't. If it shakes itself to space gravel, where will they be? Thing supposes they'd be part of the great driveway in the sky. Suddenly the quakes stop, and everything goes quiet again. Hawkeye points up into the sky in shock, as bright light suddenly starts shining from there. It's descending, a huge globe of scintillating light, right on top of them! Cap orders everyone to be ready, and Hawkeye wonders if the man is ever too slack-jawed and flabbergasted to shout orders, but Cap just tells him to focus. Something's forming inside the light!
Looming over Doombase and everything else around it, larger than Galactus ever was, an enormous figure appears. 'The Beyonder is dead! Now, the supreme being of the universe… is Doom!' Finally, Doom has achieved the dream chronicled across so many different covers! He is humongous!
The heroes get ready for the fight of their lives, and Cap declares that on his command they'll attack - and they won't stop, no matter what! They must find a way to win - they will! Before the attack can be launched, however, Doom raises his hand and tells Captain America to hold. Absorbing the Beyonder's vast energies caused his form to swell to enormous size, he explains… but he is what he wished to be, now. He reduced himself to a more manageable human size to speak face to face, and explains that the Beyonder no longer exists… and Doom has been reborn. Thus, two evils have come to an end. There is no enemy left to fight. He raises a hand to his mask, and reveals his face for all to see! The war, he declares, is over!
To be continued...
Rating & Comments
Yes, that just happened. I'm not sure what illicit substance Jim Shooter got his hands for two sequential issues to be so radically different in quality, but we go from a lackluster and lame attempt at writing a conflict involving a cosmic threat to… a successful attempt at writing the same? I'm not sure how that works, but I'll take what I can get. After several issues that were pretty light on Doctor Doom content, he makes a comeback with a vengeance here, and in so doing delivers what I am pretty confident is the best outing of this entire series, hands down. He also, arguably, gets the most impressive feat in the entire series, barring any that may yet be forthcoming. Couple that with the excellent cover, and you'll probably not be surprised that I'm quite the happy camper right now!
Before we get to the cosmically-empowered elephant in the room, we should consider the rest of this issue - because it actually contains more quality material than the entire Doom-related plot. After pussyfooting around the problem since near the start of this series, the conflict surrounding Magneto's presence among the heroes, set up back in the first issue, is finally brought to the forefront in a satisfying way. In a rather surprising twist, it's actually Wolverine who jumps to Magneto's defense, finally tying in why he was acting like such an ass to Captain America back in the early issues. Wolverine sees in Cap a bigot, someone who would happily champion the rights of humans but turn a blind eye to the concerns of mutants. Cap's blanket dismissal of Magneto as a complete villain, without considering any motivation or context to his actions, seems to have been a catalyst for this belief. As someone who quite easily justifies violent means himself, this doesn't seem too crazy a development for Wolverine's character - he did attempt to murder Molecule Man just a few issues ago!
Later on, when Doom almost manages to manipulate Magneto into falling back into his old villainous mindset with promises of power, the man actually demonstrates he is capable of resisting the temptation himself, and when Hawkeye attempts to reignite the anti-Magneto discussion in the wake of that event, it's Captain America himself who comes to his defense this time. It's quite a reversal of his earlier position! It's a great moment, and this entire sequence is a far worthier exploration of anything Magneto-related than the rest of this series combined has managed. We get yet another followup on the subject later on, when Wolverine softens his rather jaundiced view of Cap after he realizes the man gives a thought for the lives of even the vilest of criminals. He seems to grasp that Cap's views were never as narrow-minded as he believed, and like Cap, he changes his mind. Somehow this one issue managed to do more about hero-mutant tensions than all nine issues in which the two factions were actually separated over their differences! Go figure.
Speaking of Cap, this is an issue in which he finally comes across as actually worthy of leadership, since he is the one person that doesn't let any of the crazy shit that's happening affect him. He plants himself like a tree, as one might say, and doesn't budge an inch even when the sky is falling and all hell is breaking loose. Combine that with his genuine reconsideration of Magneto in the wake of Wolverine's rant and witnessing Magneto's actions, and it really is one of his greatest appearances in the series. His immediate consideration for the lives of villains, ones that he knows very nearly murdered the Wasp and She-Hulk just recently, also showcases his moral fiber. I like that several other people also share this particular trait, most notably both Wolverine and Magneto, since that just demonstrates not to judge people too quickly - the exact lesson both Cap and Wolverine are learning in this issue. Pretty good stuff!
There is a minor point I want to mention regarding the less relevant characters of the issue, since we get a brief update on the whole sordid Colossus/Johnny/Zsaji situation. It's… not a great one for Johnny. Seeing as he decided to fall in love with the first pretty woman on Battleworld, it's extremely rich of him to basically call Zsaji a whore here - like, Jesus man, could you try for a little class? I did think Colossus was a bit of a tool for lusting after another man's girl so much, but he's since proven to be the better man about the whole thing and kept his distance, even getting over himself and informing Johnny how she's doing. Now, during the actual apocalypse, Johnny ditches the entire relationship on a whim? Johnny is an asshole. You and Xavier… get in the fuckin' sack.
With all that put aside, we now turn to the main event. Doctor Doom. What an issue this is for him, huh? Starting off, we begin with a rather brilliant depiction of Doom's nigh-ascension into godhood after absorbing the cosmic power of the Worldship, including experiencing reality-warping incontinence and practical omniscience of all that surrounds him. Having all this unfathomable power, however, doesn't reduce Doom's ego any - he swiftly considers the heroes as dust-mites compared to him, but cannot permit even a single being to be above him in power. As such, he constructs for himself an armor that he will take into battle, using things he learned back in Secret Wars #1 to his advantage in a rather excellent callback. It's yet another sign that Jim Shooter knew what he was doing with this storyline, as Doom calls upon a blink-and-you'll-miss-it line from that issue to justify his knowledge of the Beyonder's energies. Much like he used Klaw's stay in the Worldship's walls to get a bead on the energy of Galactus, Doom uses his visit to the Beyonder's portal to do much the same with that of its owner - it's internally consistent and nicely symmetrical. Everything in Doom's story just hangs together so well!
Then, of course, we get that epic Doom vs. Beyonder confrontation. After a less than fantastic faceoff between all the heroes and Galactus just last issue, here we get to see what a proper cosmic battle looks like - unfathomable energies clashing together, earth-shaking destruction wreaked on everything in the vicinity, mass casualties as people flee in droves, the very stars nearly blown out like candles in the onslaught! Then, when even the unthinkable power of Galactus proves to be insufficient to the task, Doom bends the last of his stolen energy together into one final trick. In an attempt to absorb the powers of the heroes, to get one final sliver of energy that he might use to survive, Doom turns to an old classic - a good old mind-control scheme. Targeting Magneto, who he knows is closest to him in mindset, just makes sense in that light. It really feels like a last-minute plan of Doom's devising, and it's suitably ironic that he tries to couch his true motivations in supposed all-encompassing altruism, since the exact same thing happens again at the end, when he succeeds in his bid for power. Who knows if he's being truthful, this time around…?
The best sequence of the comic happens after Doom is mercilessly destroyed by the Beyonder. Not only is said defeat properly brutal, involving Doom losing several limbs as he's crushed and seared by the cosmic forces around him, but it's immediately followed by a rather grisly and invasive scene in which the Beyonder mentally and physically begins vivisecting Doom. He tears into Doom's thoughts, reading his past and motivations like a book, and then begins unraveling his flesh. Apparently his intent is to try and determine the nature of desire - which is presumably what the Secret Wars were all about for the Beyonder, hence the promise of giving people 'all they desire.' We get some more insight into the Beyonder as he explores Doom's shattered body, revealing him to be both curious and utterly amoral, and maybe even entirely unfamiliar with the way a physical being works. Perhaps Reed's guess about him being a 'cosmic idiot' was closer than he thought!
The revelations about Doom's character are more or less as one might expect, though we get a few details that subtly update canon. Most notably we get the claim that Doom's mother was put to death by the Baron's men after she tried using her magic in a failed attempt to heal an ailing horse - which seems a rather innocent portrayal of a woman who apparently consorted with the demon Mephisto, which is suggested as the reason she's trapped in his Netherworld. Doom's personal desires are centered around this history, too - he desire power, the freedom of his mother's soul, and the restoration of his face - in that order. No big surprises there, though it's perhaps telling that the Beyonder frames Doom's desire for power as a rejection of fate more than anything else. That might become important down the line…
Despite the torturous acts visited upon him, despite the Beyonder's violation of his mind and body, Doom refuses to give in. To give up. We get a proper look at just how far he's willing to go for his goals, rejecting both extreme pain and the constant threat of death, pushing himself to the very brink so he can make a final bid for conquest with his last breath. And… he succeeds! Whether you credit the iron will of Doom, or his boundless lust for power, fact is Doom finally achieves the goal for which he's been striving since Secret Wars #1, the one he chose in the first second he realized what he'd gotten involved with. He never really bothered with the wars, ever focused on this one goal… and now he did it. Doom is victorious! Doom is supreme. Peerless, mask-less, Doom is simply… Victor.
I don't think I really have to justify my score here, right? Even if this weren't a Doctor Doom read-through covering one of the biggest Doctor Doom moments to ever Doctor Doom, it would still get a solid four or five stars anyway on account of the quality of the writing, art, and plot progression here. After issues of sitting around doing inconsequential things, we get an issue that moves forward or concludes several plot-threads at once, majorly upsets what had become a bit of a status quo, and sets up the grand finale of the series that you know is coming. Plus several different characters get great moments, not just Doom! Five stars, no contest. Now let's hope Shooter can take this series home...
Best Panel(s) of the Issue
I'm gonna have to go with Doom facing off against the formless Beyonder in its portal - as a formless being it's kept really abstract, but it's a great shot and I've probably already includes all the other ones I would nominate above. Just… nice!
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
"I possess more senses than before - an empathy… Those imprisoned in the dungeons - I know their every thought, every secret, every smouldering, gnawing desire! How they seethe with hungers and wants! Hah! Each of their desires is more tangible to me than mortar and stone! Victor von Doom, to whom the minds and hearts of lesser men were ever open books, now plumbs the black depths of men's souls with a glance! For now… I am… aware! Aware of all things!"
"Are those dust-mote heroes truly my enemies? Or… is there now but one foe in all existence worthy of Doom? The Beyonder himself! ...Should I settle, then, for being second? No! I am Doom! As long as I knew there was one greater, I could never rest!"
"Then approach me, coward - on your knees, if you have knees! Come! Cringe before your master! Grovel before Doom!"
"Th-thus - thus falls Doom? No! No! What is pain to one such as I? I - I will shut it out. Other fall men to very specter of death… when her cold embrace seems imminent… they simply swoon into her arms! But I… I am Doom! I - I deny you, death! Victor von Doom must not die!"
"The Beyonder is dead! Now, the supreme being in the universe... is DOOM!"
Doom's Bad Hair Day
Two panels this time - I couldn't pick between 'my lasers come out of the side of my forehead now' Cyclops, or yellow-hooded stick figure Doom. Some of this has to be laziness, doesn't it?
Doom-Tech of the Week
You thought the whole Galactus empowerment thing was impressive? Here he makes an Omnipotence Theft Breastplate and successfully steals the abilities of a multiversal god-tier entity for himself. Doom, you're awesome.
Cover
Yeah. You remember how I mentioned my favorite Doctor Doom covers had yet to come, but to wait until Secret Wars came around? This cover is awesome, and in my opinion it's easily the best of the whole collection. I love the details here, including circuitry visible on the inside of the armor where it's been ripped off, visible under-armor supports that have ripped free around the knees and shoulder, detached circular attachments lying around on the floor, and even the severed cord that usually hangs between the large golden plates that hold up Doom's cloak. My only point of contention is the white color of Doom's mask compared to the rest of his armor's darker grey. I'm told that's related to an accident in which part of the image was whited out before the cover headed to the inkers... I guess they didn't have time to fix it. If you want a remastered and recolored version of this cover, here is one from Mike Zeck, who drew this issue:
Story Overview
Death to the Beyonder!
Fresh off Reed failing to explain himself properly and accidentally allowing Galactus to escape, we see the heroes stare up into the sky as the gargantuan solar system-sized Worldship begins to dissolve into pure energy to serve as a meal for its owner. The Thing is incredulous, wondering if Galactus really decided to give up consuming the mud-ball they're on in favor of eating his own home. Reed figures he'll come back later and have Battleworld as dessert. Reed tells everyone to cover their eyes or they'll be blinded - Iron Man wonders what it matters if they're all about to die anyway - who wants to see death coming? There's a brilliant flash, and for a moment we see everyone's very skeleton through their skin like an X-Ray scan. Best get a cancer checkup later, guys…
High above, the last remnants of Galactus' ship are reduced to raw energy in the void, and drawn in to the spread-eagle form of Galactus, who prepares to drink deeply - when suddenly the energy is ripped away from him! The heroes stare incredulously as they realize the energy is moving in a different direction, towards Doombase! Johnny immediately figures it's Doom's doing, but then argues that it can't be, since they left him imprisoned with the rest of the bad guys. 'Who else, then?' Rogue wonders.
Captain Marvel heads off to perform reconnaissance, flying over at lightspeed and peeking inside to discover that Doom escaped and built a huge machine in their absence, using it to draw cosmic energy into himself. She decides she'd better head back and inform Cap and Reed about this! That's when Professor X suddenly asserts himself, telepathically linking Captain Marvel with Reed so he can see through her eyes. He, after all, is best qualified to interpret the meaning and significance of what she's witnessing!
Doctor Doom soon rises from his prone position, declaring it's finished - the power is his! He raises his hands, astounded at what's happening around him - his merest whim alters reality around him! Stone and steel are wisps of nothing which bend and transform at the smallest stray thought! Indeed, the walls around him turn into reflections of his mask, and his own eyes look down at him. Doom decides he must figure out how to control this - how to separate the gossamer material world from his thoughts, before reality and imagination become hopelessly intermingled. Within moments he gathers his will, and reality reasserts itself around him, and he lets out a sigh in relief…
Soon the next problem asserts itself - Doom suddenly perceives everything around him as his senses expand. Of course, Doom decides, omniscience is a necessary consequence of omnipotence - it's a side-effect! Suddenly he feels every cell, every atom. Their textures, their movement, the dance of infinity!
No physical barrier can restrain his senses. He sees - no, it's more than seeing, he encompasses all that is around him. And there are more senses than before, including a certain empathy. Those imprisoned below, he now knows their every thought, secret, gnawing desire. How they seethe with hungers and wants! The minds of lesser men were always open books to Doom, but now he can plumb the dark depths of their soul with a mere glance. He is aware. Aware of many things - including a certain eavesdropper...
Back with the heroes, Professor X announces that something's terribly wrong - the mind-link with Captain Marvel was suddenly cut off. Cap orders everyone over to the X-Men's ship, but it's not going anywhere - it was crushed by boulders during the fight with Galactus. With the Avengers ship similarly ruined in a recent crash, they're running low on options. Cap suggests that all the fast heroes head over and help out Captain Marvel and take whatever action against Doom they feel is appropriate. Magneto interrupts, declaring that's not necessary - they should all get in the broken ship. Cyclops observes that it's too broken to fly, and has no power - but Magneto just tells him that it's not necessary. He is the power! Using the villain's magnetic control, the heroes soon speed off towards Doombase…
Nightcrawler observes that the ship never flew this fast under its own power, and Cap admits that Magneto is finally living up to his own hype - in those words, too! Magneto wonders if Cap would have preferred he fail - or perhaps that was meant to mean 'well done' - in which case he humbly thanks the hero. Cap just tell him: 'at ease, mister!' Magneto points out that allies should be at ease with each other, but Cap is clearly troubled by him. Is it his awesome power? Is he jealous, maybe? Or is it just because he's a mutant? Cap dryly points out that Magneto tries to kill them all multiple times in his various supervillainous schemes, which is pretty hard to forget. And he trusts other mutants, like Professor X who vouched for Magneto in the first place, and the rest of the X-Men.
Wolverine cuts in with his own comments, finally resolving that inexplicable anti-Cap attitude he's had all series. He tells Captain America that mutants are fighting a war; always have been, always will be. Cap is this champion of the American Dream, fighting for liberty and justice, all up in his high-falutin' ideals - but he only fights for his own kind. For humans, regular Americans. But when has he ever stood up for mutants?
He'll just stand by while they're being persecuted? Some of the god-fearing Americans he protects hate mutants, and when they come after them, it looks a lot like what Nazis did to the Jews. Xavier wants them to hide, help humanity to try and earn acceptance and fit in… But when people are threatening you and yours, it's easy to fall into what Magneto does - and fight back. To take the offensive and drive them into the sea.
Professor X might have convinced Magneto to lay off on his violent methods, to stop taking the expedient route and using noble ends to justify his violent means… and still Cap won't stop antagonizing Magneto! Makes him wonder if maybe Magneto was right. Cap argues that nothing justifies terrorism or murder, and Wolverine replies that 'terrorists' is just what the big army calls the little army. He has to be held back by the other X-Men as he snarls in rage. He used to have so much respect for Cap, he declares.
Meanwhile, back with Doctor Doom, he considers the space-time rip that still hangs in the sky, signaling that the Beyonder is keeping a close eye on proceedings. These are critical moments… but just how critical is for Doom to decide. The Beyonder told everyone to slay each other for a prize. He now has the power to slay everyone in the world with but a wave of his hand, reducing the heroic minions of Captain America to dust. Should he, though? Should he demand some prize for the Beyonder? What could he ask for that isn't already within his grasp? Are those heroes really his enemies, or is there now only one foe in all existence worthy of Doom? The Beyonder himself?
Klaw starts talking from his dissection table, declaring that the Beyonder is mighty and tough, and beating him will be pretty rough! Doom wonders if he should settle for being second, but decides that he is Doom - as long as he knew there was someone greater than him, he could never rest. Klaw notes he doesn't have a chance, which would discourage most people. Doom admits that he is the David to the Beyonder's Goliath… but David had a sling, and knew a weakness to exploit, so he came out victorious. He too knows something about the Beyonder, because he tried to invade the being's realm back in Secret Wars #1. He was repelled, true, but not before his armor analyzed much of the being's energies!
Doom pours his new cosmic energies into himself, making several adjustments based on the data he collected, and borrowing some technology from the device that Galactus was using to absorb Battleworld. He constructs for himself his proverbial 'sling', concealed within the breastplate of his newest armor. It's pretty similar to his usual gear, but it looks more sci-fi and loses the green tabard and cape in favor of just a green breastplate. He'll have to get very close indeed to use his secret weapon, he decides - within arm's length even. Still, David had to draw the giant's spear to get within range, too! Now, he announces to Klaw, he goes to walk through the valley of the shadow of death… Farewell!
At that moment the heroes smash their way into Doombase en masse, only to realize that Doom is no longer home. They go to check on the other prisoners, and discover everyone's still locked up - but Klaw is missing. Spider-Man decides he'll start searching the huge fort, but Nightcrawler tells him the Professor can probably track him down telepathically, which should be faster. Down in the lab, Spider-Woman is shocked to discover Captain Marvel… or a life-sized hologram of her. It seems Doom froze her in her light-form, rendering her harmless.
Klaw's head pipes up from the nearby dissection table, declaring they're quite right about the lady of light-ite-ite! Reed deduces that Doom sliced up the sound-based villain to make the lenses for his empowering machine, then asks Klaw where Doom went, what he's up to. The conversation is interrupted when there's a sudden massive earthquake that sends everyone flying. Klaw declares that Doom will be right back with them - he's just off to use some gadget in his armor to steal the Beyonder's power! Cap wonders if Doom is insane, and Klaw notes that's probably why they get along so well! Heh.
At that moment, somewhere inside the Beyonder's portal, we see Doom face off with the mysterious being, raising his hand as he's engulfed in cosmic energies. The Beyonder declares, as he did in the first issue, that Doom cannot approach him! Doom responds that perhaps the Beyonder should approach him, then! On his knees, if he has knees! He demands the Beyonder to cringe before his master, to grovel before Doom, coward!
Back at Doombase, Hulk observes that whatever is going is shaking the base to pieces, and it could easily handle an atomic strike - what forces are at play here? Cap tells Spider-Man and the Thing to fetch She-Hulk from the infirmary, figuring they'll need every hand on deck, wounded or not. Reed manages to get a monitor working and observes the Beyonder's portal, the source of the gravitational disturbance that's messing everything up. Shock-waves in the space-time continuum are causing upheaval for a hundred cubic parsecs - only violent exchanges of energy at unimaginable scale could cause this sort of thing. Doom and the Beyonder are firing gargantuan force-bolts at each other!
Reed muses that he can't look inside the spacetime rip with this equipment, and Iron Man suggests he soup it up like he did his armor. Reed admits there's no time for something like that, but there should be enough equipment around to find Galactus and retrieve him - maybe revive him. Iron Man wonders if they don't have enough on their hands without bringing back a genocidal monster like that. Reed admits that it's a long shot, but if Doom were to turn his attention away from the Beyonder and back on the heroes, they'll need the power of Galactus on their side to stand a chance. Reed soon located the floating body of Galactus and tractor beams it down.
Nearby, Spidey and the Thing are carrying She-Hulk along when they're thrown off their feet by another shock-wave, but the former manages to use his speed to catch the wounded lady before she hits the ground. They head into the central room to find that everything's even more smashed than before, and Reed is buried under heavy equipment. The Thing rushes over and frees his teammate, but Reed can't seem to catch his breath… The other heroes use the working monitor to check on Battleworld, but there's global devastation - whether or not any of them are okay might soon be rather academic knowledge.
Colossus asks if they can quickly check up on Zsaji's village, and it's doing no better than anywhere else. Zsaji is actually on screen, and she's visibly hurt - and she was already doing badly to begin with. He wishes he could be there for her, but after a moment of wrestling with himself, he admits that Zsaji wouldn't be interested in anyone except Johnny. He does the decent thing and tells the Human Torch that his girlfriend has been injured. Johnny… blows it off, declaring that he's got no time for a 'chippie' now that Reed is injured, and he'll send her a card later. Colossus becomes enraged at his choice of words. Chippie? Chippie? I feel you, man. Apparently 'chippie' is ye olde slang for a prostitute or promiscuous woman. What a douche! Before Colossus can make more of it, they're all blown over by another shock-wave…
Shrieking wounds protest and the world distorts as it is battered by forces beyond comprehension. Even the sun it orbits seems like it's on the verge of being blown out like a candle, visibly deforming from cataclysmic energy pouring from the time-space rip. There, in the realm of the Beyonder, Doom wonders if there is no end to the Beyonder's strength. With every second his enemy doubles and redoubles his onslaught, and though Doom must get closer, his power is not enough! His attack has been blunted, his energy ebbs, and his defenses are beginning to crumble. It's hopeless - he cannot hit the Beyonder, any more than the anvil can strike the hammer! There must be… a way!
Suddenly Doom's power gives, and he's engulfed by the cataclysmic outpouring of the Beyonder's energies, severing one of his legs and sending him careening backwards in abject agony, parts of his armor searing away. 'Th-thus falls Doom…' he says to himself, before denying that thought vehemently. No! What is pain to one such as he? He will shut it out. Other men fall prey to the specter of Death, and when her chill embrace seems imminent they simply swoon into her arms. Not him! He is Doom! He denies death! Victor von Doom must not die!
A stillness suddenly sweeps through the fabric of reality, a trough between waves of chaos, and the ruins of Doombase finally shiver and settle. In the lab the heroes gather themselves, and Professor X warns that someone is coming - someone awesome, in the classical sense of the word. Spider-Man concurs, saying that his spider-sense is going 'bazonkers' - whoever's coming is extremely dangerous!
Suddenly Doctor Doom himself materializes among them, introducing himself as such but declaring he's far more than the being they knew, as he has transcended mortality itself. And yet he is their champion, fighting for their sake! He declares he's about to crush the Beyonder, who in his cosmic arrogance brought them all here to fight for his amusement. 'Slay your enemies' he said, but in truth he is the real enemy. While he can reach them, the universe is not safe from his manipulations, so he must be utterly defeated and sealed away beyond his portal forever - or be destroyed! In the name of all who exist in the universe, he has dared to attack the Beyonder, and the battle has gone well - the being cringes in terror now, marshaling his failing strength, hence the lull in the battle.
That momentary pause too, has allowed him to appear before them in this moment. He's here to grant them the opportunity to share in his glorious conquest, to lend him their power. To hasten his defeat, they have but to take his hand. After victory they shall be granted power beyond measure, with which they may further their noble purposes. They should know he speaks the truth - they should feel it. Magneto rushes forward at the offer, eager to take the offer, but then his eyes meet Xavier's and he hesitates. For a long second he trembles on the brink, before he's suddenly tackled by the Wasp, Iron Man and Hawkeye who drag him to the floor.
Doom's form vanishes even as Magneto tries to wrestle himself free. Hawkeye declares that he doesn't buy Doom's spiel for a minute. No matter how sincerely he sounds, there's no way he's the type to change his spots like that - and from the looks of it, neither is Magneto! Magneto blasts the heroes off of him and gets to his feet, and Hawkeye points out to the X-Men that Magneto just tried to throw his lot in with Doom, the same person who took out Captain Marvel only minutes before. Does he have to kill someone right in front of them before he counts as a bad guy, or what? If they can't even agree on this much, maybe it's time to start wondering about the rest of them!
Captain America interrupts the speech, pointing out that everyone was tempted by Doom's speech - there was probably some sort of mental control involved, and Magneto might have gotten the biggest dose. And the way he saw it, Magneto stopped himself before the rest of them jumped him - he did nothing wrong! He's innocent! And as for what he might have done in the past - they already agreed to set that aside for the duration when they accepted him alongside the X-Men as an ally. Besides, he finally notes, they're not sure what's happening out there… so they might regret not helping Doom in the end…
Doom's final, desperate ploy didn't work out. He's once more engulfed in the Beyonder's onslaught - and this time there is no defense. Long minutes pass as we watch his smoking, dismembered body.
A nimbus of energy picks up the savaged remains, as the Beyonder begins to probe them for information. He focuses on Doom's brain, and soon images begin to parade before the eye of Doom. He sees Doom as he remembers himself from years past, a handsome gypsy youth. Prominent in the man's mind is he face of his mother, cruelly slain for her magical arts after failing to cure an ailing horse. He sees Doom finding his mother's possessions, and the growth of his knowledge in the science - normal and supernatural alike. He observes Doom's discovery that his mother's soul is trapped in an infernal netherworld, and the tragically failed attempt to contact her, which left his face a scarred ruin...
Finally the Beyonder beholds what these events wrought in the dark reaches of Doom's heart and mind. The desires which ruled this shattered man. Firstly there's a desire for power, as though usurping control over other men's destiny would serve as vengeance for lacking control over his own. Secondly, freedom for his mother's spirit, seized and held by Mephisto in his dark realm for arcane knowledge he granted her. Thirdly, the restoration of his ravaged face - the undoing of the horror that makes him wear his iron mask. The Beyonder reflects upon the concept of desire, all the passion, bitterness, and hatred with which it seethes - the mystery of it…
There is much else to investigate, the Beyonder decides, and perhaps he can explore this 'emptiness-which-drives' that is desire by exploring other organs. The bilateral symmetry of Doom's form is still evident despite his grievous wounds, and thus the Beyonder strips his body of clothing, leaving one half of his biology intact for comparison, before beginning… dissection of the rest.
His mask is pulled away, and as the icy vacuum of the Beyonder's realm washes across a bare face, Doom awakens. Awakens to feel half his body being peeled away, layer by layer. The agony, nausea and horror are beyond imagination, and death offers a swift escape which any mortal would gratefully accept… but not him. He is Doom! The breastplate he prepared still hovers nearby, detached by the Beyonder, who is close at hand. Doom's one remaining arm quivers, slow to respond, but he forces it to move. As his vision blurs, and a black warmth engulfs his consciousness, he reaches out, groping...
Down on the planet the shock-waves have resumed, and it's the biggest yet - the heroes scramble out of the way of falling debris even while Nightcrawler teleports Professor X out of imminent danger. Cap orders everyone outside, figuring no matter how bad it is there, it's better than getting buried inside. Cap then runs over towards the prison, where the villains beg to be released. The entire building has shifted due to the earthquakes, though, and the doors have gotten jammed. Cap smashes into them with his shield, but isn't getting very far.
Suddenly he's joined by Wolverine, who offers his help. Cap is thankful he's here, and Wolverine admits that he wouldn't let these people die in cages - no matter what they've done or whose side they're on. Magneto, too, wanted to head down here - he's got a thing about not letting people die like trapped rats, even humans - but Wolverine told him to go fetch the people still in the infirmary instead. Wolverine admits he didn't expect Cap here, but the Avenger just says that even these men have rights. He then orders the villains outside, admitting there's no guarantee of survival there either, but it's better than here.
As they rush towards safety, Wolverine admits that Cap is a better man than he'd given him credit for. Clearly he's an attacker and Cap's a defender, but it's obvious they're both soldiers. He's beginning to think that there's room in Cap's high-falutin' ideals for all people - including mutants. Isn't that right? Cap smirks, declaring that some of his best friends are people.
With everyone gathered outside, Johnny wonders if everyone is okay. Hulk says they are - but the planet isn't. If it shakes itself to space gravel, where will they be? Thing supposes they'd be part of the great driveway in the sky. Suddenly the quakes stop, and everything goes quiet again. Hawkeye points up into the sky in shock, as bright light suddenly starts shining from there. It's descending, a huge globe of scintillating light, right on top of them! Cap orders everyone to be ready, and Hawkeye wonders if the man is ever too slack-jawed and flabbergasted to shout orders, but Cap just tells him to focus. Something's forming inside the light!
Looming over Doombase and everything else around it, larger than Galactus ever was, an enormous figure appears. 'The Beyonder is dead! Now, the supreme being of the universe… is Doom!' Finally, Doom has achieved the dream chronicled across so many different covers! He is humongous!
The heroes get ready for the fight of their lives, and Cap declares that on his command they'll attack - and they won't stop, no matter what! They must find a way to win - they will! Before the attack can be launched, however, Doom raises his hand and tells Captain America to hold. Absorbing the Beyonder's vast energies caused his form to swell to enormous size, he explains… but he is what he wished to be, now. He reduced himself to a more manageable human size to speak face to face, and explains that the Beyonder no longer exists… and Doom has been reborn. Thus, two evils have come to an end. There is no enemy left to fight. He raises a hand to his mask, and reveals his face for all to see! The war, he declares, is over!
To be continued...
Rating & Comments
Yes, that just happened. I'm not sure what illicit substance Jim Shooter got his hands for two sequential issues to be so radically different in quality, but we go from a lackluster and lame attempt at writing a conflict involving a cosmic threat to… a successful attempt at writing the same? I'm not sure how that works, but I'll take what I can get. After several issues that were pretty light on Doctor Doom content, he makes a comeback with a vengeance here, and in so doing delivers what I am pretty confident is the best outing of this entire series, hands down. He also, arguably, gets the most impressive feat in the entire series, barring any that may yet be forthcoming. Couple that with the excellent cover, and you'll probably not be surprised that I'm quite the happy camper right now!
Before we get to the cosmically-empowered elephant in the room, we should consider the rest of this issue - because it actually contains more quality material than the entire Doom-related plot. After pussyfooting around the problem since near the start of this series, the conflict surrounding Magneto's presence among the heroes, set up back in the first issue, is finally brought to the forefront in a satisfying way. In a rather surprising twist, it's actually Wolverine who jumps to Magneto's defense, finally tying in why he was acting like such an ass to Captain America back in the early issues. Wolverine sees in Cap a bigot, someone who would happily champion the rights of humans but turn a blind eye to the concerns of mutants. Cap's blanket dismissal of Magneto as a complete villain, without considering any motivation or context to his actions, seems to have been a catalyst for this belief. As someone who quite easily justifies violent means himself, this doesn't seem too crazy a development for Wolverine's character - he did attempt to murder Molecule Man just a few issues ago!
Later on, when Doom almost manages to manipulate Magneto into falling back into his old villainous mindset with promises of power, the man actually demonstrates he is capable of resisting the temptation himself, and when Hawkeye attempts to reignite the anti-Magneto discussion in the wake of that event, it's Captain America himself who comes to his defense this time. It's quite a reversal of his earlier position! It's a great moment, and this entire sequence is a far worthier exploration of anything Magneto-related than the rest of this series combined has managed. We get yet another followup on the subject later on, when Wolverine softens his rather jaundiced view of Cap after he realizes the man gives a thought for the lives of even the vilest of criminals. He seems to grasp that Cap's views were never as narrow-minded as he believed, and like Cap, he changes his mind. Somehow this one issue managed to do more about hero-mutant tensions than all nine issues in which the two factions were actually separated over their differences! Go figure.
Speaking of Cap, this is an issue in which he finally comes across as actually worthy of leadership, since he is the one person that doesn't let any of the crazy shit that's happening affect him. He plants himself like a tree, as one might say, and doesn't budge an inch even when the sky is falling and all hell is breaking loose. Combine that with his genuine reconsideration of Magneto in the wake of Wolverine's rant and witnessing Magneto's actions, and it really is one of his greatest appearances in the series. His immediate consideration for the lives of villains, ones that he knows very nearly murdered the Wasp and She-Hulk just recently, also showcases his moral fiber. I like that several other people also share this particular trait, most notably both Wolverine and Magneto, since that just demonstrates not to judge people too quickly - the exact lesson both Cap and Wolverine are learning in this issue. Pretty good stuff!
There is a minor point I want to mention regarding the less relevant characters of the issue, since we get a brief update on the whole sordid Colossus/Johnny/Zsaji situation. It's… not a great one for Johnny. Seeing as he decided to fall in love with the first pretty woman on Battleworld, it's extremely rich of him to basically call Zsaji a whore here - like, Jesus man, could you try for a little class? I did think Colossus was a bit of a tool for lusting after another man's girl so much, but he's since proven to be the better man about the whole thing and kept his distance, even getting over himself and informing Johnny how she's doing. Now, during the actual apocalypse, Johnny ditches the entire relationship on a whim? Johnny is an asshole. You and Xavier… get in the fuckin' sack.
With all that put aside, we now turn to the main event. Doctor Doom. What an issue this is for him, huh? Starting off, we begin with a rather brilliant depiction of Doom's nigh-ascension into godhood after absorbing the cosmic power of the Worldship, including experiencing reality-warping incontinence and practical omniscience of all that surrounds him. Having all this unfathomable power, however, doesn't reduce Doom's ego any - he swiftly considers the heroes as dust-mites compared to him, but cannot permit even a single being to be above him in power. As such, he constructs for himself an armor that he will take into battle, using things he learned back in Secret Wars #1 to his advantage in a rather excellent callback. It's yet another sign that Jim Shooter knew what he was doing with this storyline, as Doom calls upon a blink-and-you'll-miss-it line from that issue to justify his knowledge of the Beyonder's energies. Much like he used Klaw's stay in the Worldship's walls to get a bead on the energy of Galactus, Doom uses his visit to the Beyonder's portal to do much the same with that of its owner - it's internally consistent and nicely symmetrical. Everything in Doom's story just hangs together so well!
Then, of course, we get that epic Doom vs. Beyonder confrontation. After a less than fantastic faceoff between all the heroes and Galactus just last issue, here we get to see what a proper cosmic battle looks like - unfathomable energies clashing together, earth-shaking destruction wreaked on everything in the vicinity, mass casualties as people flee in droves, the very stars nearly blown out like candles in the onslaught! Then, when even the unthinkable power of Galactus proves to be insufficient to the task, Doom bends the last of his stolen energy together into one final trick. In an attempt to absorb the powers of the heroes, to get one final sliver of energy that he might use to survive, Doom turns to an old classic - a good old mind-control scheme. Targeting Magneto, who he knows is closest to him in mindset, just makes sense in that light. It really feels like a last-minute plan of Doom's devising, and it's suitably ironic that he tries to couch his true motivations in supposed all-encompassing altruism, since the exact same thing happens again at the end, when he succeeds in his bid for power. Who knows if he's being truthful, this time around…?
The best sequence of the comic happens after Doom is mercilessly destroyed by the Beyonder. Not only is said defeat properly brutal, involving Doom losing several limbs as he's crushed and seared by the cosmic forces around him, but it's immediately followed by a rather grisly and invasive scene in which the Beyonder mentally and physically begins vivisecting Doom. He tears into Doom's thoughts, reading his past and motivations like a book, and then begins unraveling his flesh. Apparently his intent is to try and determine the nature of desire - which is presumably what the Secret Wars were all about for the Beyonder, hence the promise of giving people 'all they desire.' We get some more insight into the Beyonder as he explores Doom's shattered body, revealing him to be both curious and utterly amoral, and maybe even entirely unfamiliar with the way a physical being works. Perhaps Reed's guess about him being a 'cosmic idiot' was closer than he thought!
The revelations about Doom's character are more or less as one might expect, though we get a few details that subtly update canon. Most notably we get the claim that Doom's mother was put to death by the Baron's men after she tried using her magic in a failed attempt to heal an ailing horse - which seems a rather innocent portrayal of a woman who apparently consorted with the demon Mephisto, which is suggested as the reason she's trapped in his Netherworld. Doom's personal desires are centered around this history, too - he desire power, the freedom of his mother's soul, and the restoration of his face - in that order. No big surprises there, though it's perhaps telling that the Beyonder frames Doom's desire for power as a rejection of fate more than anything else. That might become important down the line…
Despite the torturous acts visited upon him, despite the Beyonder's violation of his mind and body, Doom refuses to give in. To give up. We get a proper look at just how far he's willing to go for his goals, rejecting both extreme pain and the constant threat of death, pushing himself to the very brink so he can make a final bid for conquest with his last breath. And… he succeeds! Whether you credit the iron will of Doom, or his boundless lust for power, fact is Doom finally achieves the goal for which he's been striving since Secret Wars #1, the one he chose in the first second he realized what he'd gotten involved with. He never really bothered with the wars, ever focused on this one goal… and now he did it. Doom is victorious! Doom is supreme. Peerless, mask-less, Doom is simply… Victor.
I don't think I really have to justify my score here, right? Even if this weren't a Doctor Doom read-through covering one of the biggest Doctor Doom moments to ever Doctor Doom, it would still get a solid four or five stars anyway on account of the quality of the writing, art, and plot progression here. After issues of sitting around doing inconsequential things, we get an issue that moves forward or concludes several plot-threads at once, majorly upsets what had become a bit of a status quo, and sets up the grand finale of the series that you know is coming. Plus several different characters get great moments, not just Doom! Five stars, no contest. Now let's hope Shooter can take this series home...
Best Panel(s) of the Issue
I'm gonna have to go with Doom facing off against the formless Beyonder in its portal - as a formless being it's kept really abstract, but it's a great shot and I've probably already includes all the other ones I would nominate above. Just… nice!
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
"I possess more senses than before - an empathy… Those imprisoned in the dungeons - I know their every thought, every secret, every smouldering, gnawing desire! How they seethe with hungers and wants! Hah! Each of their desires is more tangible to me than mortar and stone! Victor von Doom, to whom the minds and hearts of lesser men were ever open books, now plumbs the black depths of men's souls with a glance! For now… I am… aware! Aware of all things!"
"Are those dust-mote heroes truly my enemies? Or… is there now but one foe in all existence worthy of Doom? The Beyonder himself! ...Should I settle, then, for being second? No! I am Doom! As long as I knew there was one greater, I could never rest!"
"Then approach me, coward - on your knees, if you have knees! Come! Cringe before your master! Grovel before Doom!"
"Th-thus - thus falls Doom? No! No! What is pain to one such as I? I - I will shut it out. Other fall men to very specter of death… when her cold embrace seems imminent… they simply swoon into her arms! But I… I am Doom! I - I deny you, death! Victor von Doom must not die!"
"The Beyonder is dead! Now, the supreme being in the universe... is DOOM!"
Doom's Bad Hair Day
Two panels this time - I couldn't pick between 'my lasers come out of the side of my forehead now' Cyclops, or yellow-hooded stick figure Doom. Some of this has to be laziness, doesn't it?
Doom-Tech of the Week
You thought the whole Galactus empowerment thing was impressive? Here he makes an Omnipotence Theft Breastplate and successfully steals the abilities of a multiversal god-tier entity for himself. Doom, you're awesome.
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098: Secret Wars #11 - ...And Dust to Dust!
- Location
- Netherlands
098: Marvel Super Heroes - Secret Wars #11 (March 1985)
Cover
Two Doom covers in a row? You're spoiling me, Secret Wars! This one is pretty good too, if not remotely on the same level as last time. We see a cosmically empowered Doom standing before the gathered heroes, his iconic mask by his side and face showing openly - but it's not visible to the readers, as is tradition. I have a feeling I won't be able to say that much longer, however… The tagline being 'the face of Doom' is pretty telling! I quite like the choice to have everyone stare in surprise at Doom, which is pretty much how everyone's reaction has been whenever he took off his mask - although I imagine they had different reasons, then. Too bad about the really generic background, though, and I'm not sure why Doom is standing so unevenly when the ground appears fairly flat beneath his feet. Is he going to stomp down, maybe?
Story Overview
...And Dust to Dust!
'Face of Doom' may not be the actual title of this issue, but it is what we get, since we open on a full page portrait of the Lord of Latveria, his face returned to the pristine state it enjoyed before his fateful experiment. He resembles, as you might expect, his portrayals from the Origin of Doctor Doom in Fantastic Four v1 Annual #2, as well as the clone of Doom from Fantastic Four v1 #195-199 and even the tiny robot Vincent Vaughn from Liddleville, seen recently in Fantastic Four v1 #236. So at least they kept it consistent! Doom begins by announcing that he has obtained the Beyonder's godlike power, and he could destroy everyone with but a thought… which is probably what they expect!
Wolverine agrees, wondering what he's waiting for, and Nightcrawler asks him not to goad Doom, since he's pretty sure he could follow through on his promise. Storm proposes to strike, while Reed wants to hear him out, and Cap tells everyone to do nothing until he gives the order. Spider-Man points out his danger-sense would be going off if Doom meant to kill them, and Professor X agrees - he can't read Doom's mind, but he doesn't sense any particular malice. Thor asks Doom to speak, and Doom agrees, explaining that he'll only talk to them once - greater things beckon him!
Nearby, the various villains freed last issue are gathered, and wonder why Doom is being so chummy with the heroes. And why is he glowing like that, anyway? Doc Ock isn't sure, but notes that Doom's tricks are many. Absorbing Man opines that they include selling out! Ock notes that they've always been disposable, pawns for Doom to exploit and sacrifice as needed, and wants to tear Doom limb from limb! Enchantress notes that he won't because Doom is too much for him, and he is a practical sort of mortal. Personally she appreciates treachery, so she is merely amused at Doom's activities. Bulldozer wants to bash his skull in, but his colleagues are tired of getting their butt kicked. The Wrecker, meanwhile, proposes they take advantage of the distraction to scram, before the heroes remember they were left out of their cages...
Lizard wonders where his friend Klaw went off to - he'd know what to do, he's wise! Absorbing Man proposes they go in for another fight with the heroes, suggesting to Titania she might get a rematch with Spider-Man out of it. Titania hesitates, and Absorbing Man wonders if she's going to let a single thrashing get to her. She's Titania, strongest broad on whatever planet this is! Titania wishes she had Absorbing Man's powers - nothing can hurt him, really… Volcana, meanwhile, admits to Molecule Man that she's uncertain about Doom - he did give her powers, but now he seems to be double-crossing them. Molecule Man is pissed, since he had such faith in Doom, believed in him. He's furious. Volcana warns him that his therapist told him not to get overwrought, but he's too far gone, swearing he's going to kill the two-faced rotten fink!
Glowing with power, he shouts at Doom that he's going to kill him, swearing that his new friends aren't going to save him. Molecule Man then, uh, am I seeing this right? Yeah. He then peels an entire continent off the planet, bending away a gargantuan chunk of the planet's crust until billions of tons of rock sticks right into space. He did it with the sole aim of separating the heroes from Doom, who is now left standing alone at the edge of a huge canyon. Jesus Christ, and I thought the mountain range thing was insane! Reece flies over to Doom on a piece of rock, declaring he's going to obliterate Doom! He thinks he won't do it, right? That Reece is just some wimp - and maybe he is, but Doom has made him angry enough to destroy him! And he has the power to do it! He controls all molecules - except living ones, of course, but he's still powerful…
Doom hasn't moved a muscle while all the ranting was going on, but finally responds to this last statement. 'Indeed you are! More than you realize!' he proclaims. 'Let me show you! Behold, the foundations of eternity! The intertwining of energies which lay at the base of all things!' Around them the world suddenly changes, resolving into a sort of mathematical abstraction of lines, particles, and distortions. Doom says the secrets of the universe lay bare before him now, and he gives them to Reece as a gift, an insight into the intricate simplicity of existence. Inside him is a great power, Doom explains, and of all the great and mighty in the universe he is greatest - after Doom, of course.
Doom reaches out, placing his hand on Molecule Man's face, and tells him to think - every molecule, every iota of matter in the cosmos follows his command, and all the forces which affect those substances bend to his whim, because matter and energy are the same. The only limits to his power are those who he has imposed upon himself subconsciously, because of self-doubt, self-hate… fear. Doom tells him to open his mind to the majesty of his power, and accept his destiny - fear no more! Reece slumps down to the ground, back in reality, staring in disbelief. He can control organic molecules - he can do anything!
The other villains rush up to Molecule Man and ask what happened. Excited, Reece tells them that Doom helped him - helped him with a mental block he had, and then just soared straight up into the sky. But it's okay - they can get along without Doom leading them. He'll take care of everyone. Doc Ock cries: 'You?' and Absorbing Man wonders if he really wants to piss off the guy who just did… what he did. Doc Ock relents, and acknowledges he accepts Reece taking command. So what now? Reece isn't sure, but firstly they'll need food and shelter - after they take care of that, they can think about what's next. Volcana offers her place, in the kidnapped suburb of Denver, and Reece agrees, conjuring up a flying machine out of nothing to take them there. As they fly off, Reece promises this is nothing yet - wait till they see what he comes up with now that he's not afraid anymore!
Meanwhile, on the fringes of the upper atmosphere, at the edge of space itself, Thor and Iron Man, with Reed's assistance, get everyone down from the precarious place Molecule Man left them. 'When that guy wants to be rid of you, he lets you know!' Iron Man opines blithely.
They travel to the battered ruins of Doombase, where they conclude they've found no sign of where Doom went - not even Professor X can sense his presence. Cap wonders what it all means, and Reed admits he doesn't know, and Hulk gripes that he's not much of a genius. Wasp complains that Hulk's getting nastier all the time! Cap decides it's best to summarize what they know. We get a three-panel summary of Secret Wars, reduced to the barest essentials, concluding with Doom stealing the Beyonder's nigh-omnipotence. Wasp gets chills at the very thought, but Professor X tries to be positive by noting that Doom seems to be the only thing they have to worry about now, as Molecule Man and the rest of the villains have departed to some distant part of the planet. Hulks is pissed, since with no sign of Doom and no sign of his lackeys, there's nothing to smash!
Hundreds of miles away on the patchwork planet, we see a six-mile chunk of the Earth, specifically a section of Denver, Colorado, complete with its terrified populace. In the modest apartment of Marsha Rosenberg, now Volcana, eleven villains gather together to consider the future. Volcana would offer them all sandwiches, but there's no electricity and all the food is spoiled. Molecule Man promises to fix that later, but first they should discuss their options.
Absorbing Man admits that he isn't sure what's going on with Doom, the Beyonder, or the stupid contest - he and Titania just want to go home. Volcana notes that's probably how everyone feels, but how could that be done? They're a long way from the rest of Colorado! Molecule Man decides that if they want to go home… they will go home. He knows just the way…
A moment later, the inhabitants of Denver are terrified to realize that a huge dome is forming overhead, closing swiftly, and the ground is once again shaking under their feet! As if to follow up his earlier insane feat, Molecule Man follows it up here - by lifting the entire six-mile chunk of Denver out of the ground with a flick of his hand, and flying it into space like it's a rocket. Reed and the other heroes watch the landmass leaving, and Spider-Woman is shocked, wondering what they're going to do. She has friends there! Reed admits there's nothing they can do, and Cap decides they might as well 'sack out', get some sleep, and figure everything out in the morning.
Hours later, Colossus spends his time looking out a window rather than sleeping. He's tired, but he can't ward away the thoughts that dominate his mind - thoughts of her. Zsaji. They're a love-smitten schoolboy's thoughts, he admits, but… it's deeper than that! His love is everything to him, yet she only thinks of him as just another soldier in this war. He can't bear it - not a second longer. Grabbing a tiny flying jet ski from the base, he soon rockets off towards Zsaji's village. As he goes, he does not notice a flickering streak of light descending towards Doombase…
The point of light soars into a window, silently approaching the sleeping Hulk and hitting him. Moments later, Spider-Woman notices the Hulk approaching her in the corridor, and wonders if she should call him Dr. Banner or Hulk, and whether he's having trouble sleeping too. She's been so worried about the people in Denver, you see… Hulk doesn't answer, and Spider-Woman decides he's sleepwalking - even repeated calls don't rouse him, though. She figures he's not likely to hurt himself, but he could step on somebody, so she'd better restrain him. She focuses and eerie strand of psychic force radiate around her, and in seconds she weaves a psionic web into a doorway. Hulk just stumbles forward into the web, but keeps pressing harder when he fails to move, until finally the psychic net snaps and disappears.
Spider-Woman decides enough is enough, and grabs the Hulk to try and shake him awake. Hulk reacts by slapping her aside - and then he slumps to the floor as the mysterious point of light transfers from him to her, and Spider-Woman's body walks away by order of a will not her own. She stalks into the former laboratory of Doctor Doom, passing below the frozen form of Captain Marvel and creeping closer and closer to her goal - the severed head of Klaw. Slipping past the machine built from Klaw's body, she creeps ever nearer… Suddenly there's a bright light, and Spider-Woman cringes away in protest. 'L-light - oh… no!'
Shaken awake by Spider-Woman's piercing scream, Cap and the other heroes rush in. Spider-Woman isn't sure what happened - she suddenly woke up to find herself down in the lab, faced with Doctor Doom, who apparently came to fetch Klaw. Doom reassembled him, then took him away. He also casually restored Captain Marvel at the time - like an afterthought! She feels weird, with an odd sort of background buzzing in her head that just won't quit. Hulk wonders if she was sleepwalking - he must have been, since he woke up in the hall! Reed wonders if Doom said anything, and Spider-Woman denies that, but he did leave… that. Engraved on the wall is the text: 'You are summoned to the tower of Doom at dusk tomorrow.' Reed wonders what tower he's talking about, and the Thing figures, you know, it's probably that.
Outside, towering hundreds of miles into space, a crystalline tower has appeared out of nowhere overnight. Deep inside that foreboding tower, Doom wonders if Klaw enjoys these temporary quarters. This is the throne room, you see, constructed purely to impress their guests the next day. Klaw wonders if all this means his plans worked out, and Doom acknowledges that they did, but he notes he would have said a proud 'of course' before, back when he was different. Klaw figures that Doom is like him now - as he once told Doom, he is his wildest dream! Doom admits he'll miss dreaming, and Klaw wonders if that means he's tired, do gods sleep? Doom says he doesn't need to sleep anymore, and furthermore he doesn't dare to sleep, but he does want to rest for a moment - draw in this power, contain it, shut it off, and rest. Doom stops glowing and lays down on a bed, but instructs Klaw to stand watch. He must not sleep!
Back in Zsaji's village, the healer is shaken awake by a knocking on her door, and a massive silhouette appears in her doorway. It strides purposefully towards her in the dark, then offers a bouquet of flowers to her as the first lamp turns on. Did it have to be that creepy?
Colossus explains that he doesn't know what the next day will bring, and that he could not face it without admitting to his feelings. It's easier for him to believe that all this happened so that they could meet and love each other, than to believe he was meant to find her, and then to lose her. He declares his love for Zsaji, and though she doesn't understand his words, it seems their meaning comes across just fine. She smiles, as though seeing Colossus for the first time.
Eighteen hours later, at Doombase, Nightcrawler pops in on Wolverine to ask if he's seen Colossus, since they're soon due to leave for Doom's tower and he's nowhere to be found. Wolverine says he knows where Colossus went, and Nightcrawler immediately makes the connection, wondering how he could be so faithless to Kitty Pryde. Wolverine declares that he understands a man following his heart, going with what feels right. But can't he see that this obsession of his is just a side-effect of her healing powers? Nightcrawler wonders if he's sure, and Wolverine nods. He notes that this isn't some girl next door either, but an alien from a different world, a different culture. Who knows what love means to her? Maybe it's just a standard part of her patient-care, for all he knows!
Soon the heroes gather, and Nightcrawler goes to inform the Professor of the situation with Colossus, but he already knows. Thor notes that the previous night, his dreams were filled with visions of death and despair - it does not bode well. Wasp and Spider-Man admit they had bad dreams too, and hope it's a coincidence. Cap tells everyone to move out, and they head out in a ship, soon arriving at Doom's tower, where Klaw is already waiting for them. He offers to show them the room where waits Doom-oom-oom!
Gathered in Doom's enormous throne room, the inheritor of the Beyonder's powers asks if any of them doubt he has such powers. Caps say they believe it - but what does it change? Doom tells him that much has changed, because when he slew the Beyonder, in a way Doom died as well. He's now all-powerful, and has nothing to prove to lesser creatures - none are his equal! He is complete, serene in his omnipotence. The dark, seething desires that drove and shaped him are no more. Nothing in this universe could possibly merit his attention, for as eternity is to all of them, he is… to eternity! He has transcended all concerns of this plane of existence - and yet there is unfinished business. Loose ends left over from his mortal life. He explains that he can't undo all the evil he's ever done in his life without majorly upsetting the space-time continuum, but he can easily set right some of the crimes of the past few days.
Firstly, he will restore someone he disintegrated, restoring him atom by atom. Aiming his hand down towards the ground, Doom reintegrates Kang, and in a charming bit of continuity, the man continues the sentiment he was voicing at the moment he was destroyed, and is baffled to find himself somewhere new. Doom then zaps him again, transporting him home, presumably to whatever future time period he calls home.
Cap wonders how that could be, since Kang was dead, and Doom explains that he was only dead as Cap comprehends the concept - there is more to life and death than in his philosophy. Galactus, who he left drifting in space, has already been helped by his herald Nova, which leaves only those people before him to deal with. Doom declares he wishes to grant them a boon, as a gesture to atone for the suffering they have endured at his hands. They should state their desire, and it shall be theirs!
Wasp thinks Doom is serious about his offer, and Spider-Man immediately suggests asking him to send everyone home. Reed protests that he can get them home. Since when, dude? Nightcrawler suggests they ask him to find Kitty's pet dragon Lockheed, who disappeared back in Secret Wars #1, shortly after their arrival on this planet. Since she's already losing Colossus to some alien woman, might as well make sure she doesn't lose everything! Ouch, burn. Cap notices Spider-Woman staring angrily at Klaw, and wonders what that's all about. He then declares that they want nothing from Doom, and Doom decides that means their dealings are ended, and they should leave as they entered. Soon he'll ascend to a higher plane. Until then - and mark this - he will not suffer any disturbance. Go, and do not seek to enter his presence again, for he will destroy any who dare!
Moments later, outside the tower, Cap does a quick headcount. He figures everyone is there - except Spider-Woman. Professor X notes that he can't probe Doom's tower, but he can at least confirm she's not outside. Cap admits that he did notice her acting oddly, and wonders what she has to prove that she'd risk death at Doom's hands. He decides he's going back in after her, knowing there's a chance Doom will kill him for the affront. If there's a chance she's alive, though, he has to do it. When the others offer to join him, he turns them down - if he's not back in fifteen minutes, they should get out of there. Nobody else goes in, that's an order!
Back inside the tower, Cap determines there are no apparent defenses, no alarms, but if he knows Doom every crevice in every wall is dangerous nevertheless. He comes across nothing as he travels deeper and deeper, though, and soon he starts hearing a curious singing. It's Klaw, prattling rhyming nonsense to himself like usual. He stalks around the corner… to discover Klaw entertaining a mostly unarmored Doom having a drink while reading the papers in his office. Huh. Doom asks Cap what he wants, and a bit disoriented by the unexpected sight, he explains that Spider-Woman seems to be missing, and must still be in the tower somewhere. Doom tells Klaw to find her.
As Doom starts putting his armor back on, Cap takes a moment to look around his office, and admits this really isn't what he expected from someone who 'transcended humanity.' He keeps expecting someone to say: 'pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!' He studies the pictures on Doom's walls, and guesses that they're portraits of his mother. Doom agrees, telling the Captain he really is quite perceptive.
Elsewhere in the tower, Klaw is looking around for Spider-Woman-oman-oman, but runs into one of her psionic webs when he heads around a corner. He's jumped from behind by the superheroine, and a shock of energy passes between the two - and Spider-Woman slumps to the floor unconscious while Klaw walks away with someone else behind the wheels. With every step he takes, however, the energy slips further back into his mind until Klaw is once more in control, and the alien energy is just a distant buzzing that lurks in the back of his mind…
Cap and Doom have had a heart-to-heart in the interim, as Cap summarizes that Doom seeks to free his mother's 'spirit essence' from the demon Mephisto. Doom wonders if it's little enough to ask that he be allowed to rescue his mother from eternal torment. After that, Doom says, he's done with this world - none of the affairs of men would be within his notice. Conquest or dominion have no meaning for him anymore, since conquering this entire universe would bring him as much satisfaction as ruling a droplet full of amoeba would.
Cap points out that Doom looks pretty human right now, and Doom explains that he's bottling up all the power inside him, lest an inadvertent flick of his finger destroys a solar system, or wipes out a civilization. While he lingers on this plane, he's like a giant in a world of ants - his every movement can seal the destiny of millions. And he doesn't wish to destroy anyone. Cap just tells him he'll find Spider-Woman, then leave.
As Klaw reenters the room and passes a grim-faced Captain America, he wonders what's going on. Doom leans forward onto his table, and says: 'the inevitable, I fear.' As they exit the tower, Spider-Woman explains to Cap that she's not sure how she managed to fall asleep in there, but at least the annoying buzzing in her head is gone now. Wasp is glad to see the two are okay, but Professor X observes that Captain America is troubled - he must have grim news. They soon fly out of there, and Cap tells the Professor to summon Colossus, since he figures they have to make a big decision together, one that concerns them all - and perhaps the entire universe!
In a glen near Zsaji's village, it seems Colossus has gotten luck with Zsaji, as he's literally laying down in an idyllic field with her. As he moves in for another kiss, he's suddenly contacted by Xavier's telepathic call. Colossus gruffly tells him to go away, but the Professor declares this is a code red command - he has to get back to Doombase! Reluctantly he turns to Zsaji and explains that he must leave, but that he promises to return. He'll come back soon, and then he'll never leave again! Because he loves her!
Later, everyone is gathered together in a council chamber in Doombase. It seems Cap has summarized his conversation with Doom in the tower, and Wasp is the first to comment, wondering exactly what's wrong with Doom wanting to free his mother's soul from torment. Cap says it might not be wrong in itself, and under other circumstances he might even have volunteered to help him. But it seems like a very human… and human thing to want. That's what worries him. Doom claims he's transcended human desire, but what if he hasn't? They've seen the power of the Beyonder in action before, and it's such that even now nothing in the universe can happen without his consent. That kind of authority rightfully belongs with no man, even an enlightened one. No matter how benevolent he's become, Cap contends, to have the freedom to do what Doom allows… is not freedom at all. Remember, after all, what the first thing was that Doom did with his newfound powers!
Reed fills in the blank: he repaired his own face. He sees Cap's point. Cap admits that he's not sure if he's right - perhaps they should accept Doom's word, and not borrow trouble where there is none. Go on their way and count their blessings. Reed argues that they should stop him now, before it's too late. Get him to give up this power. Johnny is full of bravado as usual, suggesting they'll knock him down ten pegs or so, and Thing says he's on board with the rest of the Fantastic Four. Wasp concurs with Cap's logic, concluding that she doesn't believe Doom would give up lording it over people for long, and they've got to take a stand before he takes this self-appointed deity stuff too far. The other Avengers quickly begin to vote, each of them signing up for the battle - although Hawkeye asks if they can fetch him some arrows first.
The Spider-people are on board too, figuring they shouldn't vote against all these heavy hitters, and the Hulk notes he knows better than most the dangers of having too much power. Professor X votes to fight, saying he's aware of the temptation of insidious powers. The rest of the X-Men sign up too, figuring the Professor speaks for them all. Magneto decides Doom cannot be trusted with such power, and votes yes.
Colossus is the lone holdout. He points out that Doom hasn't actually done anything to them - and may never harm them at all if they stay away. He seems to be different from before, so wouldn't striking at him unprovoked make them criminals? Cap admits he's right, and that he's not dead certain about any of this, so that's why this must be a unanimous vote - or they do nothing. Colossus is not obligated to agree,it's a free choice. They should also keep in mind, he reminds everyone, that if they do decide to confront Doom, they may be struck down by a bolt out of the blue. Colossus explains his reasons for being unsure of what to do: he's finally found true happiness, a woman he loves. The thought that it might end, that he could be killed now, that they could ruin it all unnecessarily - is that such a selfish thought? Cap says only he can decide that. After a long moment Colossus looks up with tears in his eyes, and asks Zsaji's forgiveness. He lays down the final vote - they'll fight!
And then they're all annihilated by a bolt from the blue.
Yes, seriously.
To be continued…?
Rating & Comments
If the ending alone earned a score, then that finale deserves five stars and a special accolade. It comes, appropriately enough, straight out of the blue. It's so unexpected, after several pages of intense pre-final battle discussion between all the major characters, that it's just downright hilarious. It's easily the perfect cliffhanger moment in this series. Although, granted, one or two of those were just people staring slack jawed off-screen at something relatively uneventful, so it's not that difficult!
Going back to the actual story, this issue is quite different from what I imagined it would be - it takes a lot less time going into the grand cosmic feats of Doom now that he's practically a god, and is a lot more concerned with the way he handles this boundless power on a more mundane scale. Doom seems very tense throughout the issue, talking up his changed nature but clearly having trouble coping with it, compressing and pushing the power away so he can take care of the loose ends of his mortal life. His admitted paranoia about sleeping is pretty indicative that everything is not well in Doom's head, even if he pretends to be fine - and I suspect his 'the world is made of cardboard' speech to Captain America is not far from the truth. Maybe the power is too much for him, too grand to be controlled without practice, or perhaps it's simply that Doom hasn't given up all his human attachments. He still cares about his looks, and his mother, so clearly he's not as detached as might want to be - maybe he has to give up all those things if he wants to truly channel the Beyonder's might? I suppose we might find out next issue...
Before we get into my opinions on all-powerful Doom's involvement in this issue, I would be remiss if I didn't bring up the most impressive moments that happen within it - which surprisingly enough don't actually feature Doom that much! Molecule Man, in an apparent effort to one-up himself, effortlessly rips billions of tons of matter straight up out of the planet and right to the edge of space. If we presume that means the Kalman line, it just confirms the truly ludicrous level of power he has access to - and sure enough, Doom freely admits that Molecule Man is closest out of everyone to his own overpowered state. Molecule Man's later feat of levitating the entirety of a six-mile slab of city into space and transporting it Earthwards with his powers is similarly impressive, as is his newfound ability to affect any matter rather than only the non-living. Turns out only a mental block prevented the possibly strongest supervillain in the world from being the definitely strongest.
Spider-Woman gets a few things to do in this issue, most notably showing off her 'psionic webbing', an ability that's distinctly different from Spider-Man's powerset but still clearly spider-themed. The threads briefly stand up to the Hulk's strength, and later contain Klaw well enough, although we don't really see their full potential in action. Neither use is actually combat-related, so we don't see what they're really capable of - and I have no idea if Spider-Woman and Doom meet in any post-Secret Wars stories, so I can't say if we'll find out. I guess there's still next issue…? Although with everyone dead, I suppose that would be a bit difficult. Hmm, annoying!
The comic contains another few small things to mention here, like the introduction of a mysterious character that's possessing people, alternately puppeting them or hanging in the back of their mind like an annoying buzzing noise. I'm slightly weirded out that nobody's worried about Spider-Woman randomly fainting twice in quick succession for no apparent reason - i'd be checking for a concussion at the very least, since they did all get thrown around a lot in the earthquakes! I'm not sure what to make of this blob of light yet, though I can make some vaguely educated guesses on what it is. I reckon it's not an entirely newly introduced concept, since I don't think Jim Shooter is quite that bad of a writer.
The Zsaji subplot also gets yet another update, as Colossus finally makes his move and confesses his love to the woman. She seems awfully willing to go along with this for someone who's ostensibly going steady with Johnny Storm, but that guy probably doesn't deserve the credit after the way he treated her last issue. What a dick! Wolverine finally makes explicit what was implicit before, and explains that perhaps Zsaji's healing abilities are the reason for the intense attraction both Johnny and Colossus felt. This may also explain why Johnny has suddenly gotten disinterested. He had his wounds healed first, something like a day before Colossus did, so maybe the aphrodisiac effect wore off on him while it has yet to do so for Colossus. I presume this means we will get some final developments on the subject in the next, final issue...
Enough talking around the point - let's get into Doctor Doom! It's worthwhile, I think, to consider Doom's actions in this issue to provide some context for Captain America's worries. It is true that one of the first things Doom does is repair his face - although I would argue he probably could have already done that with the power of Galactus, given that he was warping freaking reality itself with that. I presume his actual very first act was to save himself from death, since he did regrow a couple limbs and rebuild his armor at some point. One of his next confirmed acts is granting the Molecule Man a glimpse at the fundamentals of reality and destroying a mental block that kept him from realizing the full scope of his powers. He then travels to the heroes' base to leave an invitation - and he restores Captain Marvel to normal from the death-like state he left her in shortly after his empowerment with the power of Galactus. That's two unprovoked charitable acts - i'm keeping track!
After that, Doom builds himself a tower with a decorative throne room inside it - it's only there to impress the heroes, not because he actually means to use it for anything. That's presumably why we later see him hanging out in a rather less ostentatious office that's lined with portraits of his mother. His next act is to resurrect Kang, whom he killed a few issues earlier in revenge for an assassination attempt. He also makes sure that the unconscious Galactus is found by his Herald, thereby assuring the cosmic giant's survival too. Subsequently he then offers the heroes a boon as recompense for his previous misdeeds against them, basically offering everyone the same prize the Beyonder might have given them if they'd won the Secret Wars. Probably still remembering the less-than-honest offer from the previous issue, when he tried to trick them into giving up their powers, none of the heroes actually take the offer… but it's given. Since Doom has been handing out enlightenment and resurrection for free, I imagine he would have followed through this time around. Doom then reneges on his threat to destroy anyone who returns to the tower and actually hears Cap out, even explaining some of his personal history and explaining his immediate plans. After Cap leaves, Doom seems genuinely disappointed about the inevitable future he foresees - and the only witness to the admission is Klaw, so I'm not sure who he's supposed to be fooling if he's lying there.
So where does that leave us when it comes to the Beyonder-empowered Doom? Cap's argument for attacking him is essentially that Doom is too human to be afforded the sort of power he now holds. That's probably true… but that's sort of where the logic stops, it seems. It's too late to prevent Doom from getting the power, so the question is what to do now. Everyone seems to presume that Doom will inevitably start conquering stuff, or do other various heinous acts, but what exactly do they base this on? I guess they're going by his historical track record, but it's pretty clear that the current Doctor Doom is not acting how he would have previously. The actions Doom has taken since his empowerment are strangely altruistic, save for a couple personal choices that are vain, but harmless. Some, like helping Molecule Man, appear to be freely given without expectation of payment, and his restoration of Captain Marvel and especially Kang seem rather high-minded for his usual demeanor too. Would Doom normally have forgiven assassins and spies? Actually, out of the four people Doom helps, three have threatened or attempted to kill him within this very series!
We also have to consider what Doom actually wants. We don't have to guess there - we got an in-depth look at Doctor Doom's primary desires just last issue, and it's obvious that those same desires are what color Doom's 'loose ends' in this issue. His greatest desire was power, and I think we can agree that was taken care of in spades by gaining the enormous might of the Beyonder. His third-greatest desire was the restoration of his face, and he's already gotten around to that. He's now working on his second-greatest desire, the rescue of his mother, of which he freely speaks to Captain America. Doom is resolving all his earthly desires at a pretty fast clip - which sure sounds like tying up loose ends to me. And we should take note that Doom's desire for power was described as being based on Doom's revenge for the cruelty of fate visited upon him. He's actively erasing all the cruel tricks ever delivered to him - and if you remove the basis for a desire, will it still remain? What happens to a personality entirely built on those desires? Is there a chance here that, left to his own devices, Doctor Doom would unravel all his own worst impulses?
In the light of those considerations, I'm not sure how to take the actions of Captain America in this issue. On some level I can understand where he's coming from, since it seems all too plausible that a bad guy would succumb to the lure of using supreme power badly. On the other hand, it reads a bit like that nonsensical argument from DCCU Batman: if there's even a 1% something he might be a threat, it should be taken as an absolute certainty. It's not like Doom is progressively getting stronger - he conjures up a multi-hundred mile tower and can turn himself into a giant on command, so he's clearly got the god-like mojo on tap. If anything, there's signs he's losing control a bit, so there's no particular reason attacking now would be more likely to be successful than trying the next day. They could just wait and see what Doom did with his power, and if he started abusing them for some grand personal gain or for the purposes of conquest, then try and do something about it. You'd think the Captain America of Secret Wars would know all about waiting around doing nothing for a couple issues! His whole 'let's attack and ensure he goes bad, rather than wait and see if he maybe goes bad on his own' decision just seems really ill-considered.
I have to admit - this issue is interesting, has some great badass feats from Molecule Man, and contains an excellent ending. Still, it's not on the same level as the last issue. It has a bunch of vague background events that go unexplained, a bunch of corny nonsense about Colossus as per usual, and a less than fantastic show of logic on the heroes' part. I'm especially baffled that the heroes chose to have a sensitive discussion inside Doombase, a public location that the subject of their discussion knows about. It's freaking named after him! They then agree to attempt deicide while a nigh-omniscient being is around to hear it, which just seems dumb. They were all present when the Beyonder destroyed a galaxy and built a planet out of random chunks, so did they really think eavesdropping would be beyond its power? I'll give it 3 stars, and then charitably bump it up for the Molecule Man stuff, seeing Doom be a benevolent god, and that ending!
Best Panel(s) of the Issue
I'll go with Molecule Man's slightly over-the-top feat of tearing a chunk of the planet's crust upwards. I especially like that you can get some sense of scale by the inclusion of the enormous Doombase in the image, and displaying some of this world's curvature. Makes the mountain range thing from earlier in the series look like small potatoes in comparison...
Most Gloriously Divine Doom Quotes
"The Beyonder is dead - and the power which once was his is now mine! I, Victor von Doom, am the mightiest being in this… or any universe! I could destroy you all with but a thought - and I suppose that is what you expect!"
"When I usurped the Beyonder's power, slaying him - in a way Doom died as well! Now, I'm all-powerful! I have nothing to prove to lesser creatures - and none are my equal! I am complete... serene in my omnipotence! The dark, seething desires that once drove and shaped Doom are no more! Nothing in this universe - nothing you could conceive, no matter how cosmic in scope - could possibly merit my attention! For as eternity is to you, I am… to eternity! I have transcended all concerns of this plane of existence - and, yet… we have unfinished business! Loose ends, if you will, left over from my mortal life!"
"Conquest… Dominion… these are things which no longer hold no meaning for me! Ruling this entire universe would bring me as much satisfaction, perhaps, as ruling a water droplet full of amoeba would bring you!"
Doom's Bad Hair Day
I'm guessing it's some weird art choice, but I don't care for these 'let's just color everyone blue' panels - in the first Klaw randomly gets left out of the process, but in the second panel he too suffers this indignity - even Doom does! I'm not sure why this is, because the rest of the panel is in full color. The detail of the images also get ridiculously low in places, with relatively details pictures reducing to little more than stick figures and vaguely people-shaped blobs...
Cover
Two Doom covers in a row? You're spoiling me, Secret Wars! This one is pretty good too, if not remotely on the same level as last time. We see a cosmically empowered Doom standing before the gathered heroes, his iconic mask by his side and face showing openly - but it's not visible to the readers, as is tradition. I have a feeling I won't be able to say that much longer, however… The tagline being 'the face of Doom' is pretty telling! I quite like the choice to have everyone stare in surprise at Doom, which is pretty much how everyone's reaction has been whenever he took off his mask - although I imagine they had different reasons, then. Too bad about the really generic background, though, and I'm not sure why Doom is standing so unevenly when the ground appears fairly flat beneath his feet. Is he going to stomp down, maybe?
Story Overview
...And Dust to Dust!
'Face of Doom' may not be the actual title of this issue, but it is what we get, since we open on a full page portrait of the Lord of Latveria, his face returned to the pristine state it enjoyed before his fateful experiment. He resembles, as you might expect, his portrayals from the Origin of Doctor Doom in Fantastic Four v1 Annual #2, as well as the clone of Doom from Fantastic Four v1 #195-199 and even the tiny robot Vincent Vaughn from Liddleville, seen recently in Fantastic Four v1 #236. So at least they kept it consistent! Doom begins by announcing that he has obtained the Beyonder's godlike power, and he could destroy everyone with but a thought… which is probably what they expect!
Wolverine agrees, wondering what he's waiting for, and Nightcrawler asks him not to goad Doom, since he's pretty sure he could follow through on his promise. Storm proposes to strike, while Reed wants to hear him out, and Cap tells everyone to do nothing until he gives the order. Spider-Man points out his danger-sense would be going off if Doom meant to kill them, and Professor X agrees - he can't read Doom's mind, but he doesn't sense any particular malice. Thor asks Doom to speak, and Doom agrees, explaining that he'll only talk to them once - greater things beckon him!
Nearby, the various villains freed last issue are gathered, and wonder why Doom is being so chummy with the heroes. And why is he glowing like that, anyway? Doc Ock isn't sure, but notes that Doom's tricks are many. Absorbing Man opines that they include selling out! Ock notes that they've always been disposable, pawns for Doom to exploit and sacrifice as needed, and wants to tear Doom limb from limb! Enchantress notes that he won't because Doom is too much for him, and he is a practical sort of mortal. Personally she appreciates treachery, so she is merely amused at Doom's activities. Bulldozer wants to bash his skull in, but his colleagues are tired of getting their butt kicked. The Wrecker, meanwhile, proposes they take advantage of the distraction to scram, before the heroes remember they were left out of their cages...
Lizard wonders where his friend Klaw went off to - he'd know what to do, he's wise! Absorbing Man proposes they go in for another fight with the heroes, suggesting to Titania she might get a rematch with Spider-Man out of it. Titania hesitates, and Absorbing Man wonders if she's going to let a single thrashing get to her. She's Titania, strongest broad on whatever planet this is! Titania wishes she had Absorbing Man's powers - nothing can hurt him, really… Volcana, meanwhile, admits to Molecule Man that she's uncertain about Doom - he did give her powers, but now he seems to be double-crossing them. Molecule Man is pissed, since he had such faith in Doom, believed in him. He's furious. Volcana warns him that his therapist told him not to get overwrought, but he's too far gone, swearing he's going to kill the two-faced rotten fink!
Glowing with power, he shouts at Doom that he's going to kill him, swearing that his new friends aren't going to save him. Molecule Man then, uh, am I seeing this right? Yeah. He then peels an entire continent off the planet, bending away a gargantuan chunk of the planet's crust until billions of tons of rock sticks right into space. He did it with the sole aim of separating the heroes from Doom, who is now left standing alone at the edge of a huge canyon. Jesus Christ, and I thought the mountain range thing was insane! Reece flies over to Doom on a piece of rock, declaring he's going to obliterate Doom! He thinks he won't do it, right? That Reece is just some wimp - and maybe he is, but Doom has made him angry enough to destroy him! And he has the power to do it! He controls all molecules - except living ones, of course, but he's still powerful…
Doom hasn't moved a muscle while all the ranting was going on, but finally responds to this last statement. 'Indeed you are! More than you realize!' he proclaims. 'Let me show you! Behold, the foundations of eternity! The intertwining of energies which lay at the base of all things!' Around them the world suddenly changes, resolving into a sort of mathematical abstraction of lines, particles, and distortions. Doom says the secrets of the universe lay bare before him now, and he gives them to Reece as a gift, an insight into the intricate simplicity of existence. Inside him is a great power, Doom explains, and of all the great and mighty in the universe he is greatest - after Doom, of course.
Doom reaches out, placing his hand on Molecule Man's face, and tells him to think - every molecule, every iota of matter in the cosmos follows his command, and all the forces which affect those substances bend to his whim, because matter and energy are the same. The only limits to his power are those who he has imposed upon himself subconsciously, because of self-doubt, self-hate… fear. Doom tells him to open his mind to the majesty of his power, and accept his destiny - fear no more! Reece slumps down to the ground, back in reality, staring in disbelief. He can control organic molecules - he can do anything!
The other villains rush up to Molecule Man and ask what happened. Excited, Reece tells them that Doom helped him - helped him with a mental block he had, and then just soared straight up into the sky. But it's okay - they can get along without Doom leading them. He'll take care of everyone. Doc Ock cries: 'You?' and Absorbing Man wonders if he really wants to piss off the guy who just did… what he did. Doc Ock relents, and acknowledges he accepts Reece taking command. So what now? Reece isn't sure, but firstly they'll need food and shelter - after they take care of that, they can think about what's next. Volcana offers her place, in the kidnapped suburb of Denver, and Reece agrees, conjuring up a flying machine out of nothing to take them there. As they fly off, Reece promises this is nothing yet - wait till they see what he comes up with now that he's not afraid anymore!
Meanwhile, on the fringes of the upper atmosphere, at the edge of space itself, Thor and Iron Man, with Reed's assistance, get everyone down from the precarious place Molecule Man left them. 'When that guy wants to be rid of you, he lets you know!' Iron Man opines blithely.
They travel to the battered ruins of Doombase, where they conclude they've found no sign of where Doom went - not even Professor X can sense his presence. Cap wonders what it all means, and Reed admits he doesn't know, and Hulk gripes that he's not much of a genius. Wasp complains that Hulk's getting nastier all the time! Cap decides it's best to summarize what they know. We get a three-panel summary of Secret Wars, reduced to the barest essentials, concluding with Doom stealing the Beyonder's nigh-omnipotence. Wasp gets chills at the very thought, but Professor X tries to be positive by noting that Doom seems to be the only thing they have to worry about now, as Molecule Man and the rest of the villains have departed to some distant part of the planet. Hulks is pissed, since with no sign of Doom and no sign of his lackeys, there's nothing to smash!
Hundreds of miles away on the patchwork planet, we see a six-mile chunk of the Earth, specifically a section of Denver, Colorado, complete with its terrified populace. In the modest apartment of Marsha Rosenberg, now Volcana, eleven villains gather together to consider the future. Volcana would offer them all sandwiches, but there's no electricity and all the food is spoiled. Molecule Man promises to fix that later, but first they should discuss their options.
Absorbing Man admits that he isn't sure what's going on with Doom, the Beyonder, or the stupid contest - he and Titania just want to go home. Volcana notes that's probably how everyone feels, but how could that be done? They're a long way from the rest of Colorado! Molecule Man decides that if they want to go home… they will go home. He knows just the way…
A moment later, the inhabitants of Denver are terrified to realize that a huge dome is forming overhead, closing swiftly, and the ground is once again shaking under their feet! As if to follow up his earlier insane feat, Molecule Man follows it up here - by lifting the entire six-mile chunk of Denver out of the ground with a flick of his hand, and flying it into space like it's a rocket. Reed and the other heroes watch the landmass leaving, and Spider-Woman is shocked, wondering what they're going to do. She has friends there! Reed admits there's nothing they can do, and Cap decides they might as well 'sack out', get some sleep, and figure everything out in the morning.
Hours later, Colossus spends his time looking out a window rather than sleeping. He's tired, but he can't ward away the thoughts that dominate his mind - thoughts of her. Zsaji. They're a love-smitten schoolboy's thoughts, he admits, but… it's deeper than that! His love is everything to him, yet she only thinks of him as just another soldier in this war. He can't bear it - not a second longer. Grabbing a tiny flying jet ski from the base, he soon rockets off towards Zsaji's village. As he goes, he does not notice a flickering streak of light descending towards Doombase…
The point of light soars into a window, silently approaching the sleeping Hulk and hitting him. Moments later, Spider-Woman notices the Hulk approaching her in the corridor, and wonders if she should call him Dr. Banner or Hulk, and whether he's having trouble sleeping too. She's been so worried about the people in Denver, you see… Hulk doesn't answer, and Spider-Woman decides he's sleepwalking - even repeated calls don't rouse him, though. She figures he's not likely to hurt himself, but he could step on somebody, so she'd better restrain him. She focuses and eerie strand of psychic force radiate around her, and in seconds she weaves a psionic web into a doorway. Hulk just stumbles forward into the web, but keeps pressing harder when he fails to move, until finally the psychic net snaps and disappears.
Spider-Woman decides enough is enough, and grabs the Hulk to try and shake him awake. Hulk reacts by slapping her aside - and then he slumps to the floor as the mysterious point of light transfers from him to her, and Spider-Woman's body walks away by order of a will not her own. She stalks into the former laboratory of Doctor Doom, passing below the frozen form of Captain Marvel and creeping closer and closer to her goal - the severed head of Klaw. Slipping past the machine built from Klaw's body, she creeps ever nearer… Suddenly there's a bright light, and Spider-Woman cringes away in protest. 'L-light - oh… no!'
Shaken awake by Spider-Woman's piercing scream, Cap and the other heroes rush in. Spider-Woman isn't sure what happened - she suddenly woke up to find herself down in the lab, faced with Doctor Doom, who apparently came to fetch Klaw. Doom reassembled him, then took him away. He also casually restored Captain Marvel at the time - like an afterthought! She feels weird, with an odd sort of background buzzing in her head that just won't quit. Hulk wonders if she was sleepwalking - he must have been, since he woke up in the hall! Reed wonders if Doom said anything, and Spider-Woman denies that, but he did leave… that. Engraved on the wall is the text: 'You are summoned to the tower of Doom at dusk tomorrow.' Reed wonders what tower he's talking about, and the Thing figures, you know, it's probably that.
Outside, towering hundreds of miles into space, a crystalline tower has appeared out of nowhere overnight. Deep inside that foreboding tower, Doom wonders if Klaw enjoys these temporary quarters. This is the throne room, you see, constructed purely to impress their guests the next day. Klaw wonders if all this means his plans worked out, and Doom acknowledges that they did, but he notes he would have said a proud 'of course' before, back when he was different. Klaw figures that Doom is like him now - as he once told Doom, he is his wildest dream! Doom admits he'll miss dreaming, and Klaw wonders if that means he's tired, do gods sleep? Doom says he doesn't need to sleep anymore, and furthermore he doesn't dare to sleep, but he does want to rest for a moment - draw in this power, contain it, shut it off, and rest. Doom stops glowing and lays down on a bed, but instructs Klaw to stand watch. He must not sleep!
Back in Zsaji's village, the healer is shaken awake by a knocking on her door, and a massive silhouette appears in her doorway. It strides purposefully towards her in the dark, then offers a bouquet of flowers to her as the first lamp turns on. Did it have to be that creepy?
Colossus explains that he doesn't know what the next day will bring, and that he could not face it without admitting to his feelings. It's easier for him to believe that all this happened so that they could meet and love each other, than to believe he was meant to find her, and then to lose her. He declares his love for Zsaji, and though she doesn't understand his words, it seems their meaning comes across just fine. She smiles, as though seeing Colossus for the first time.
Eighteen hours later, at Doombase, Nightcrawler pops in on Wolverine to ask if he's seen Colossus, since they're soon due to leave for Doom's tower and he's nowhere to be found. Wolverine says he knows where Colossus went, and Nightcrawler immediately makes the connection, wondering how he could be so faithless to Kitty Pryde. Wolverine declares that he understands a man following his heart, going with what feels right. But can't he see that this obsession of his is just a side-effect of her healing powers? Nightcrawler wonders if he's sure, and Wolverine nods. He notes that this isn't some girl next door either, but an alien from a different world, a different culture. Who knows what love means to her? Maybe it's just a standard part of her patient-care, for all he knows!
Soon the heroes gather, and Nightcrawler goes to inform the Professor of the situation with Colossus, but he already knows. Thor notes that the previous night, his dreams were filled with visions of death and despair - it does not bode well. Wasp and Spider-Man admit they had bad dreams too, and hope it's a coincidence. Cap tells everyone to move out, and they head out in a ship, soon arriving at Doom's tower, where Klaw is already waiting for them. He offers to show them the room where waits Doom-oom-oom!
Gathered in Doom's enormous throne room, the inheritor of the Beyonder's powers asks if any of them doubt he has such powers. Caps say they believe it - but what does it change? Doom tells him that much has changed, because when he slew the Beyonder, in a way Doom died as well. He's now all-powerful, and has nothing to prove to lesser creatures - none are his equal! He is complete, serene in his omnipotence. The dark, seething desires that drove and shaped him are no more. Nothing in this universe could possibly merit his attention, for as eternity is to all of them, he is… to eternity! He has transcended all concerns of this plane of existence - and yet there is unfinished business. Loose ends left over from his mortal life. He explains that he can't undo all the evil he's ever done in his life without majorly upsetting the space-time continuum, but he can easily set right some of the crimes of the past few days.
Firstly, he will restore someone he disintegrated, restoring him atom by atom. Aiming his hand down towards the ground, Doom reintegrates Kang, and in a charming bit of continuity, the man continues the sentiment he was voicing at the moment he was destroyed, and is baffled to find himself somewhere new. Doom then zaps him again, transporting him home, presumably to whatever future time period he calls home.
Cap wonders how that could be, since Kang was dead, and Doom explains that he was only dead as Cap comprehends the concept - there is more to life and death than in his philosophy. Galactus, who he left drifting in space, has already been helped by his herald Nova, which leaves only those people before him to deal with. Doom declares he wishes to grant them a boon, as a gesture to atone for the suffering they have endured at his hands. They should state their desire, and it shall be theirs!
Wasp thinks Doom is serious about his offer, and Spider-Man immediately suggests asking him to send everyone home. Reed protests that he can get them home. Since when, dude? Nightcrawler suggests they ask him to find Kitty's pet dragon Lockheed, who disappeared back in Secret Wars #1, shortly after their arrival on this planet. Since she's already losing Colossus to some alien woman, might as well make sure she doesn't lose everything! Ouch, burn. Cap notices Spider-Woman staring angrily at Klaw, and wonders what that's all about. He then declares that they want nothing from Doom, and Doom decides that means their dealings are ended, and they should leave as they entered. Soon he'll ascend to a higher plane. Until then - and mark this - he will not suffer any disturbance. Go, and do not seek to enter his presence again, for he will destroy any who dare!
Moments later, outside the tower, Cap does a quick headcount. He figures everyone is there - except Spider-Woman. Professor X notes that he can't probe Doom's tower, but he can at least confirm she's not outside. Cap admits that he did notice her acting oddly, and wonders what she has to prove that she'd risk death at Doom's hands. He decides he's going back in after her, knowing there's a chance Doom will kill him for the affront. If there's a chance she's alive, though, he has to do it. When the others offer to join him, he turns them down - if he's not back in fifteen minutes, they should get out of there. Nobody else goes in, that's an order!
Back inside the tower, Cap determines there are no apparent defenses, no alarms, but if he knows Doom every crevice in every wall is dangerous nevertheless. He comes across nothing as he travels deeper and deeper, though, and soon he starts hearing a curious singing. It's Klaw, prattling rhyming nonsense to himself like usual. He stalks around the corner… to discover Klaw entertaining a mostly unarmored Doom having a drink while reading the papers in his office. Huh. Doom asks Cap what he wants, and a bit disoriented by the unexpected sight, he explains that Spider-Woman seems to be missing, and must still be in the tower somewhere. Doom tells Klaw to find her.
As Doom starts putting his armor back on, Cap takes a moment to look around his office, and admits this really isn't what he expected from someone who 'transcended humanity.' He keeps expecting someone to say: 'pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!' He studies the pictures on Doom's walls, and guesses that they're portraits of his mother. Doom agrees, telling the Captain he really is quite perceptive.
Elsewhere in the tower, Klaw is looking around for Spider-Woman-oman-oman, but runs into one of her psionic webs when he heads around a corner. He's jumped from behind by the superheroine, and a shock of energy passes between the two - and Spider-Woman slumps to the floor unconscious while Klaw walks away with someone else behind the wheels. With every step he takes, however, the energy slips further back into his mind until Klaw is once more in control, and the alien energy is just a distant buzzing that lurks in the back of his mind…
Cap and Doom have had a heart-to-heart in the interim, as Cap summarizes that Doom seeks to free his mother's 'spirit essence' from the demon Mephisto. Doom wonders if it's little enough to ask that he be allowed to rescue his mother from eternal torment. After that, Doom says, he's done with this world - none of the affairs of men would be within his notice. Conquest or dominion have no meaning for him anymore, since conquering this entire universe would bring him as much satisfaction as ruling a droplet full of amoeba would.
Cap points out that Doom looks pretty human right now, and Doom explains that he's bottling up all the power inside him, lest an inadvertent flick of his finger destroys a solar system, or wipes out a civilization. While he lingers on this plane, he's like a giant in a world of ants - his every movement can seal the destiny of millions. And he doesn't wish to destroy anyone. Cap just tells him he'll find Spider-Woman, then leave.
As Klaw reenters the room and passes a grim-faced Captain America, he wonders what's going on. Doom leans forward onto his table, and says: 'the inevitable, I fear.' As they exit the tower, Spider-Woman explains to Cap that she's not sure how she managed to fall asleep in there, but at least the annoying buzzing in her head is gone now. Wasp is glad to see the two are okay, but Professor X observes that Captain America is troubled - he must have grim news. They soon fly out of there, and Cap tells the Professor to summon Colossus, since he figures they have to make a big decision together, one that concerns them all - and perhaps the entire universe!
In a glen near Zsaji's village, it seems Colossus has gotten luck with Zsaji, as he's literally laying down in an idyllic field with her. As he moves in for another kiss, he's suddenly contacted by Xavier's telepathic call. Colossus gruffly tells him to go away, but the Professor declares this is a code red command - he has to get back to Doombase! Reluctantly he turns to Zsaji and explains that he must leave, but that he promises to return. He'll come back soon, and then he'll never leave again! Because he loves her!
Later, everyone is gathered together in a council chamber in Doombase. It seems Cap has summarized his conversation with Doom in the tower, and Wasp is the first to comment, wondering exactly what's wrong with Doom wanting to free his mother's soul from torment. Cap says it might not be wrong in itself, and under other circumstances he might even have volunteered to help him. But it seems like a very human… and human thing to want. That's what worries him. Doom claims he's transcended human desire, but what if he hasn't? They've seen the power of the Beyonder in action before, and it's such that even now nothing in the universe can happen without his consent. That kind of authority rightfully belongs with no man, even an enlightened one. No matter how benevolent he's become, Cap contends, to have the freedom to do what Doom allows… is not freedom at all. Remember, after all, what the first thing was that Doom did with his newfound powers!
Reed fills in the blank: he repaired his own face. He sees Cap's point. Cap admits that he's not sure if he's right - perhaps they should accept Doom's word, and not borrow trouble where there is none. Go on their way and count their blessings. Reed argues that they should stop him now, before it's too late. Get him to give up this power. Johnny is full of bravado as usual, suggesting they'll knock him down ten pegs or so, and Thing says he's on board with the rest of the Fantastic Four. Wasp concurs with Cap's logic, concluding that she doesn't believe Doom would give up lording it over people for long, and they've got to take a stand before he takes this self-appointed deity stuff too far. The other Avengers quickly begin to vote, each of them signing up for the battle - although Hawkeye asks if they can fetch him some arrows first.
The Spider-people are on board too, figuring they shouldn't vote against all these heavy hitters, and the Hulk notes he knows better than most the dangers of having too much power. Professor X votes to fight, saying he's aware of the temptation of insidious powers. The rest of the X-Men sign up too, figuring the Professor speaks for them all. Magneto decides Doom cannot be trusted with such power, and votes yes.
Colossus is the lone holdout. He points out that Doom hasn't actually done anything to them - and may never harm them at all if they stay away. He seems to be different from before, so wouldn't striking at him unprovoked make them criminals? Cap admits he's right, and that he's not dead certain about any of this, so that's why this must be a unanimous vote - or they do nothing. Colossus is not obligated to agree,it's a free choice. They should also keep in mind, he reminds everyone, that if they do decide to confront Doom, they may be struck down by a bolt out of the blue. Colossus explains his reasons for being unsure of what to do: he's finally found true happiness, a woman he loves. The thought that it might end, that he could be killed now, that they could ruin it all unnecessarily - is that such a selfish thought? Cap says only he can decide that. After a long moment Colossus looks up with tears in his eyes, and asks Zsaji's forgiveness. He lays down the final vote - they'll fight!
And then they're all annihilated by a bolt from the blue.
Yes, seriously.
To be continued…?
Rating & Comments
If the ending alone earned a score, then that finale deserves five stars and a special accolade. It comes, appropriately enough, straight out of the blue. It's so unexpected, after several pages of intense pre-final battle discussion between all the major characters, that it's just downright hilarious. It's easily the perfect cliffhanger moment in this series. Although, granted, one or two of those were just people staring slack jawed off-screen at something relatively uneventful, so it's not that difficult!
Going back to the actual story, this issue is quite different from what I imagined it would be - it takes a lot less time going into the grand cosmic feats of Doom now that he's practically a god, and is a lot more concerned with the way he handles this boundless power on a more mundane scale. Doom seems very tense throughout the issue, talking up his changed nature but clearly having trouble coping with it, compressing and pushing the power away so he can take care of the loose ends of his mortal life. His admitted paranoia about sleeping is pretty indicative that everything is not well in Doom's head, even if he pretends to be fine - and I suspect his 'the world is made of cardboard' speech to Captain America is not far from the truth. Maybe the power is too much for him, too grand to be controlled without practice, or perhaps it's simply that Doom hasn't given up all his human attachments. He still cares about his looks, and his mother, so clearly he's not as detached as might want to be - maybe he has to give up all those things if he wants to truly channel the Beyonder's might? I suppose we might find out next issue...
Before we get into my opinions on all-powerful Doom's involvement in this issue, I would be remiss if I didn't bring up the most impressive moments that happen within it - which surprisingly enough don't actually feature Doom that much! Molecule Man, in an apparent effort to one-up himself, effortlessly rips billions of tons of matter straight up out of the planet and right to the edge of space. If we presume that means the Kalman line, it just confirms the truly ludicrous level of power he has access to - and sure enough, Doom freely admits that Molecule Man is closest out of everyone to his own overpowered state. Molecule Man's later feat of levitating the entirety of a six-mile slab of city into space and transporting it Earthwards with his powers is similarly impressive, as is his newfound ability to affect any matter rather than only the non-living. Turns out only a mental block prevented the possibly strongest supervillain in the world from being the definitely strongest.
Spider-Woman gets a few things to do in this issue, most notably showing off her 'psionic webbing', an ability that's distinctly different from Spider-Man's powerset but still clearly spider-themed. The threads briefly stand up to the Hulk's strength, and later contain Klaw well enough, although we don't really see their full potential in action. Neither use is actually combat-related, so we don't see what they're really capable of - and I have no idea if Spider-Woman and Doom meet in any post-Secret Wars stories, so I can't say if we'll find out. I guess there's still next issue…? Although with everyone dead, I suppose that would be a bit difficult. Hmm, annoying!
The comic contains another few small things to mention here, like the introduction of a mysterious character that's possessing people, alternately puppeting them or hanging in the back of their mind like an annoying buzzing noise. I'm slightly weirded out that nobody's worried about Spider-Woman randomly fainting twice in quick succession for no apparent reason - i'd be checking for a concussion at the very least, since they did all get thrown around a lot in the earthquakes! I'm not sure what to make of this blob of light yet, though I can make some vaguely educated guesses on what it is. I reckon it's not an entirely newly introduced concept, since I don't think Jim Shooter is quite that bad of a writer.
The Zsaji subplot also gets yet another update, as Colossus finally makes his move and confesses his love to the woman. She seems awfully willing to go along with this for someone who's ostensibly going steady with Johnny Storm, but that guy probably doesn't deserve the credit after the way he treated her last issue. What a dick! Wolverine finally makes explicit what was implicit before, and explains that perhaps Zsaji's healing abilities are the reason for the intense attraction both Johnny and Colossus felt. This may also explain why Johnny has suddenly gotten disinterested. He had his wounds healed first, something like a day before Colossus did, so maybe the aphrodisiac effect wore off on him while it has yet to do so for Colossus. I presume this means we will get some final developments on the subject in the next, final issue...
Enough talking around the point - let's get into Doctor Doom! It's worthwhile, I think, to consider Doom's actions in this issue to provide some context for Captain America's worries. It is true that one of the first things Doom does is repair his face - although I would argue he probably could have already done that with the power of Galactus, given that he was warping freaking reality itself with that. I presume his actual very first act was to save himself from death, since he did regrow a couple limbs and rebuild his armor at some point. One of his next confirmed acts is granting the Molecule Man a glimpse at the fundamentals of reality and destroying a mental block that kept him from realizing the full scope of his powers. He then travels to the heroes' base to leave an invitation - and he restores Captain Marvel to normal from the death-like state he left her in shortly after his empowerment with the power of Galactus. That's two unprovoked charitable acts - i'm keeping track!
After that, Doom builds himself a tower with a decorative throne room inside it - it's only there to impress the heroes, not because he actually means to use it for anything. That's presumably why we later see him hanging out in a rather less ostentatious office that's lined with portraits of his mother. His next act is to resurrect Kang, whom he killed a few issues earlier in revenge for an assassination attempt. He also makes sure that the unconscious Galactus is found by his Herald, thereby assuring the cosmic giant's survival too. Subsequently he then offers the heroes a boon as recompense for his previous misdeeds against them, basically offering everyone the same prize the Beyonder might have given them if they'd won the Secret Wars. Probably still remembering the less-than-honest offer from the previous issue, when he tried to trick them into giving up their powers, none of the heroes actually take the offer… but it's given. Since Doom has been handing out enlightenment and resurrection for free, I imagine he would have followed through this time around. Doom then reneges on his threat to destroy anyone who returns to the tower and actually hears Cap out, even explaining some of his personal history and explaining his immediate plans. After Cap leaves, Doom seems genuinely disappointed about the inevitable future he foresees - and the only witness to the admission is Klaw, so I'm not sure who he's supposed to be fooling if he's lying there.
So where does that leave us when it comes to the Beyonder-empowered Doom? Cap's argument for attacking him is essentially that Doom is too human to be afforded the sort of power he now holds. That's probably true… but that's sort of where the logic stops, it seems. It's too late to prevent Doom from getting the power, so the question is what to do now. Everyone seems to presume that Doom will inevitably start conquering stuff, or do other various heinous acts, but what exactly do they base this on? I guess they're going by his historical track record, but it's pretty clear that the current Doctor Doom is not acting how he would have previously. The actions Doom has taken since his empowerment are strangely altruistic, save for a couple personal choices that are vain, but harmless. Some, like helping Molecule Man, appear to be freely given without expectation of payment, and his restoration of Captain Marvel and especially Kang seem rather high-minded for his usual demeanor too. Would Doom normally have forgiven assassins and spies? Actually, out of the four people Doom helps, three have threatened or attempted to kill him within this very series!
We also have to consider what Doom actually wants. We don't have to guess there - we got an in-depth look at Doctor Doom's primary desires just last issue, and it's obvious that those same desires are what color Doom's 'loose ends' in this issue. His greatest desire was power, and I think we can agree that was taken care of in spades by gaining the enormous might of the Beyonder. His third-greatest desire was the restoration of his face, and he's already gotten around to that. He's now working on his second-greatest desire, the rescue of his mother, of which he freely speaks to Captain America. Doom is resolving all his earthly desires at a pretty fast clip - which sure sounds like tying up loose ends to me. And we should take note that Doom's desire for power was described as being based on Doom's revenge for the cruelty of fate visited upon him. He's actively erasing all the cruel tricks ever delivered to him - and if you remove the basis for a desire, will it still remain? What happens to a personality entirely built on those desires? Is there a chance here that, left to his own devices, Doctor Doom would unravel all his own worst impulses?
In the light of those considerations, I'm not sure how to take the actions of Captain America in this issue. On some level I can understand where he's coming from, since it seems all too plausible that a bad guy would succumb to the lure of using supreme power badly. On the other hand, it reads a bit like that nonsensical argument from DCCU Batman: if there's even a 1% something he might be a threat, it should be taken as an absolute certainty. It's not like Doom is progressively getting stronger - he conjures up a multi-hundred mile tower and can turn himself into a giant on command, so he's clearly got the god-like mojo on tap. If anything, there's signs he's losing control a bit, so there's no particular reason attacking now would be more likely to be successful than trying the next day. They could just wait and see what Doom did with his power, and if he started abusing them for some grand personal gain or for the purposes of conquest, then try and do something about it. You'd think the Captain America of Secret Wars would know all about waiting around doing nothing for a couple issues! His whole 'let's attack and ensure he goes bad, rather than wait and see if he maybe goes bad on his own' decision just seems really ill-considered.
I have to admit - this issue is interesting, has some great badass feats from Molecule Man, and contains an excellent ending. Still, it's not on the same level as the last issue. It has a bunch of vague background events that go unexplained, a bunch of corny nonsense about Colossus as per usual, and a less than fantastic show of logic on the heroes' part. I'm especially baffled that the heroes chose to have a sensitive discussion inside Doombase, a public location that the subject of their discussion knows about. It's freaking named after him! They then agree to attempt deicide while a nigh-omniscient being is around to hear it, which just seems dumb. They were all present when the Beyonder destroyed a galaxy and built a planet out of random chunks, so did they really think eavesdropping would be beyond its power? I'll give it 3 stars, and then charitably bump it up for the Molecule Man stuff, seeing Doom be a benevolent god, and that ending!
Best Panel(s) of the Issue
I'll go with Molecule Man's slightly over-the-top feat of tearing a chunk of the planet's crust upwards. I especially like that you can get some sense of scale by the inclusion of the enormous Doombase in the image, and displaying some of this world's curvature. Makes the mountain range thing from earlier in the series look like small potatoes in comparison...
Most Gloriously Divine Doom Quotes
"The Beyonder is dead - and the power which once was his is now mine! I, Victor von Doom, am the mightiest being in this… or any universe! I could destroy you all with but a thought - and I suppose that is what you expect!"
"When I usurped the Beyonder's power, slaying him - in a way Doom died as well! Now, I'm all-powerful! I have nothing to prove to lesser creatures - and none are my equal! I am complete... serene in my omnipotence! The dark, seething desires that once drove and shaped Doom are no more! Nothing in this universe - nothing you could conceive, no matter how cosmic in scope - could possibly merit my attention! For as eternity is to you, I am… to eternity! I have transcended all concerns of this plane of existence - and, yet… we have unfinished business! Loose ends, if you will, left over from my mortal life!"
"Conquest… Dominion… these are things which no longer hold no meaning for me! Ruling this entire universe would bring me as much satisfaction, perhaps, as ruling a water droplet full of amoeba would bring you!"
Doom's Bad Hair Day
I'm guessing it's some weird art choice, but I don't care for these 'let's just color everyone blue' panels - in the first Klaw randomly gets left out of the process, but in the second panel he too suffers this indignity - even Doom does! I'm not sure why this is, because the rest of the panel is in full color. The detail of the images also get ridiculously low in places, with relatively details pictures reducing to little more than stick figures and vaguely people-shaped blobs...
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099: Secret Wars #12 - ...Nothing to Fear...
- Location
- Netherlands
099: Marvel Super Heroes - Secret Wars #12 (April 1985)
Cover
Three Doom-focused covers in a row? Nice! For a crossover series with an abundance of characters, it's pretty telling that like three-and-half out of twelve covers are focused on Doctor Doom! Having just destroyed the entire heroic cast for their declaration of intent to commit deicide, we get a nice shot of mask-less Doom luxuriating in his victory with the remains of his former enemies arrayed behind him. I would have preferred him in his normal costume, since I'm not a big fan of this high-tech Mattel-mandated breastplate, but I'll take what I can get. Doom, victorious! For the moment, anyway. Seeing as this is the final issue of Secret Wars, it's about time to see how this whole sordid affair comes to its long-awaited conclusion.
Story Overview
...Nothing to Fear…
We open on familiar imagery if you've been watching the MCU. Captain America's broken shield lies in smoking ruins, propped up among the bodies of two dozen dead heroes. Blood oozes from their mangled remains, sizzling among the debris of the once-might Doombase, destroyed by a bolt from the blue.
From a distant peak, the denizens of Zsaji's village witness the smoke spreading across the sky, and Zsaji herself fears what became of Colossus, who so recently departed from her side. She fears the worst…
Hundreds of miles away, in Doom's tower, dwells the author all this carnage. Klaw wonders if it's over - are they dead? Doom announces that they are, and then concentrates, pulling in the awesome power that he wielded to achieve this feat, containing it once more within his body. Klaw wonders why he'd do this - with all that power sealed up in a can, he's just another man! Doom's explanation for his actions is much the same as the one he gave to Captain America in the previous issue: if he is not careful with this power, his every moment might detonate stars, reduce civilizations to ruin. He may very well become Vishnu, the destroyer of worlds, entirely by accident. This universe is too fragile! This power is a heavy weight upon his shoulders. 'Poor Doom!' Klaw decides.
As the two move back towards Doom's office, and Doom takes off his armor to take a breather, Klaw says that with all the power bottled up, the world can relax - and so can he! Doom muses that with his enemies dead, he really can take it easy. Klaw wonders aloud if the heroes really are dead. I mean, that's what he said, but… Doom insist that they are dead. They must be dead!
Millions of miles away floats the space colony Suburbia, a six-mile chunk of Denver that Molecule Man is sailing through the cosmos. We get a timeframe for the Secret Wars, here - about a week has passed, all told. Hours ago it was ripped from Battleworld, and now it's on its way home. Inside Volcana's apartment, various super-criminals are chilling out - Absorbing Man is having a nap on the couch while Bulldozer is reading a good book. The Enchantress, meanwhile, has locked herself in the bathroom and is filling up the bathtub - it seems Molecule Man has seen fit to reconnect various amenities so people can survive during the long trip home.
Enchantress bows over the tub of water and commands a water elemental to rise, and soon a harried voice agrees to the request. Amora asks the watery tart what she might know of the Beyonder, and the elemental says it's a tough question - will she allow the elemental to walk through fields of flowers like mortals do in payment? Enchantress just threatens to freeze her solid, and the elemental quickly decides she'll answer. The elemental, it seems, has been gossiping with various other spirits, and what she heard is that the Beyonder, in his own realm, was everything, and everything was him, and he was content with that situation.
Then, the exposition elemental explains, an event in the Marvel universe opened a pinhole into this beyond-realm, and through that pinhole the Beyonder glimpsed Earth. For the first time he became curious, and for years he watched the Earth, and one thing he saw confounded him beyond all else: the incompleteness that beings from this universe seem to have, that which is called desire. He set about studying it, seeking out worthwhile subjects, and his eye was drawn to those with power, presence, and palpable desire. Like the Enchantress herself, naturally. So he reached into the golden realm of Asgard and snatched her right in the middle of some scheme to conquer the realms and seduce the Mighty Thor…
The Beyonder chose only a handful of beings from among the many he studied, like picking his favorite candies from a tray - or more appropriate, perhaps, his favorite action figure from the pile. Some he simply seized by force, others he opened the door for, and they came willingly. Those puzzled the Beyonder most of all - but then, how would an outsider make sense of the way superheroes behave? One he had all his subjects, he sorted them by the nature of their desires. That's why Magneto ended up with the heroes - his selfless desire to help mutant-kind seemed the most like theirs, and was different from the more personal, selfish desires like those of the Enchantress. The Beyonder then set up his challenge by provoking both groups to try and get their desires fulfilled, and sure enough a war broke out.
Finishing up this informative summation with a brief recap of Doom's theft of the Beyonder's powers, the elemental being then aks if she can go down the drain already. The Enchantress isn't done yet, however - since the elemental is a being connected to every puddle, basin of water, and cloud, does she know what's happening on Battleworld at that very moment? The elemental exclaims she doesn't have the power to determine something like that, and Enchantress grabs her by a strand of liquid hair and pushes her below the surface of her own water, declaring she'll get her the power to do it - now get going! The water begins churning, boiling, and in the seething liquid images begin to form, reflections of a distant reality. The images tell of Doom's utter destruction of the superheroes, see him relaxing in his sanctum with Klaw by his side, and finally predict his next action: to take the fight to Mephisto in his demonic realm, and free his mother's spirit.
Right about then the Absorbing Man arrives, pounding on the door of the bathroom and wondering if maybe the Enchantress fell into the pot or something. 'Any time this week, 'chantress. Some of us ain't immortal, ya know!'
Amora tells him to have patience, and asks the tired elemental one more question: is the Beyonder dead? She confirms that he is not - he's close by Doom, actually, but too weak to act. He's hiding where Doom would never expect, awaiting an opportunity, a moment of vulnerability! The Enchantress finally leaves the bathroom and passes by Absorbing Man, who could have sworn he'd heard talking… and why does Amora look so scared? Eh, whatever. Women.
In the living room, the Lizard is going slightly pear-shaped in the confines of a suburban city, declaring he wants to leave this human nest and return to his comfortable swamp. He hates humans! The Wrecking Crew propose to kill the crazy overgrown salamander, but Volcana interrupts and uses her fire to separate Lizard from the rest, declaring he's just confused. He doesn't mean harm, he just wants to go home!
She promises the Lizard they'll be home soon, and Doctor Octopus cuts in with an incredulous 'soon?' He wonders if she realizes how unlikely it is that they'll ever reach Earth - if an ant was dropped in the middle of the Sahara desert it would stand a better chance of getting to Hawaii! Even if, by some miracle, they were headed in the right direction, it'd still take billions of lifetimes to travel between galaxies!
Volcana asks if Doc Ock can't have at least a little faith in her boyfriend, the Molecule Man. Doc Ock smashes a huge hole in the wall while declaring he can't! He's interrupted when Owen Reece himself suddenly teleports into the room, wondering what the problem is. He's been practicing his matter-energy conversion, you see, now that Doom has opened his eyes to all he is capable of. He asks Doc Ock what he's upset about, and the Doctor explains he'd rather take his chances on Battleworld than die of old age on a rock blindly wandering in space. Even travelling near light-speed, it would take billions of years to reach Earth! So far they've only travelled a few million miles - they're still in sight of Battleworld, even! Molecule Man agrees, but says he can get them all home. He'll show what he means, if only he's given the chance!
While the villains are bickering, a voice suddenly enters Volcana's mind and puppets her body outside, declaring she cannot resist. The Lizard watches her go, puzzled. Moments later, in a nearby glen, it's revealed that the Enchantress was the one to lure Volcana. The time has come, she declares, for Volcana to fulfill her half of the bargain they struck back in Secret Wars #7. Volcana desired to be transported to her wounded boyfriend's side at the time, and in return she offered anything. Right now, Amora has need of that promise - for she has learned that the fate of all beings, gods and men alike, are imperiled - and she must warn Asgard at once. The distance is too great to teleport, however, and she needs more power to make the trip. Draining Volcana's life-force shall afford her that power! 'Prepare to die, sow!' Ouch, again with the fat shaming? She's not even fat!
Elsewhere, Owen Reece points up at the sky, telling Doc Ock to take a good look. The tentacled villain is not sure what that's about, but is startled to discover that there are now stars in the sky. But the Beyonder destroyed all the local stars to create Battleword and its sun! Reece happily agrees, and explains that using his newly increased powers, he's been reconstructing and reigniting those stars! He can do anything with matter and energy, and he's learning how to do space warps too, which is how he teleported into Volcana's living room earlier. With just a little more practice, he should be able to take the whole of suburban Denver back where it's supposed to be!
Doc Ock goes slightly nuts when he observes the stupendous scale of what the Molecule Man is capable of, declaring that it's impossible. He starts throwing stuff around, ripping up buildings to try and crush Reece while declaring it has to be a trick. Nobody makes a fool of Doctor Octopus! When Doc Ock descends into ranting death threats, Reece has had quite enough and raises his hand. He catches the villain by animating the cement of a nearby road, leaving him utterly incapable of movement. Reece decides that clearly Doc Ock isn't all there in the head, and he should be handed over to the authorities once they get back home. With any luck they'll put him in a nice institution. It's really for his own good there - a nice therapist can do wonders, you know…
The Lizard approaches Molecule Man to explain that his girlfriend is gone - the witch-woman has taken her! He knows Volcana's scent, though, so he'll help Reece find the woman who was nice to him! Elsewhere, the paralyzed and drained Volcana asks how the Enchantress can be this cruel. Amora says that her life is forfeit for a noble cause - but not before calling her 'bloated one' again. She explains that Doom means to invade Mephisto's realm, and Asgard may well be next after that. She's no good guy, but she has a duty to her own kind, to the All-Father, and to life itself! As such, Volcana's time has come!
The Lizard and Reece race into the clearing, and the Enchantress is forced to release Volcana to face the new threats. She angrily declares that the idiots don't know what they're doing, and decides to flee to the only place that's within reach of her teleportation. Even as she fades, the Lizard makes a giant leap to reach her, declaring that the one who hurt Volcana must die! Split-seconds later both Amora and her attacker reappear whole - on Battleworld! Lizard slashes the Enchantress across the face with his claws, and is knocked aside.
Furious at the marring of her beauty, which will cost her dearly in pain and sorcerous power to repair, she's not feeling too kind. Still clutching her face, she declares that she needs no consent or covenant to rip away the life-force of a lesser creature, and unleashes her vampiric magic. Soon she's engulfed in energy as the smoking body of her poor victim is left behind, and she goes to teleport again. She's not sure if she has enough energy to manage it, but she tries to return to Asgard - or perhaps to death in the icy void…
At that moment, back in the tower of Doom, the nascent god is dozing. Klaw approaches from the side, his eyes glowing with an eerie light… Suddenly Doom is shocked awake, terrified to realize he almost fell asleep, and he berates Klaw for not keeping a better eye on him. Do you know what could happen? If his awesome power should rise while he's asleep, it would be controlled only by his subconscious, his dreams. It could send the entirety of reality into chaos, or even cause the end of the universe! Klaw nods, and muses that maybe Doom could even accidentally revive the heroes! That could happen, right? It's not beyond his power, right? Doom rejects the notion instantly - they are dead! Klaw wonders if maybe he did recreate them somewhere along the line without realizing it, but Doom again declares he has not - he is in full control of his power, and knows what he's done, and who he has undone!
Klaw then states that there's another way the heroes might have returned, and Doom demands to know what it is. Klaw turns this into a bit of a multimedia presentation, using his mastery over sound to create 3D images in the air, somehow, which depict his hypothetical tale. He projects an image of Zsaji, overlooking the destroyed Doombase. She rushes to the scene, distraught to find the gory remains of Doom's victims. Straining her healing to the utmost on everybody she sees, she manages to put into stasis what little life lingers, preserving the victims on the edge of non-existence. Finally she discovers the remains of her lover, Colossus, irretrievably dead by human standards, but less dead than the others. You see, Captain America warned him that a bolt out of the blue might strike them all dead, so he instinctively armored up at the last moment! Zsaji pours her energy into Colossus, and succeeds in bringing him back from the threshold of death!
Whole again, Colossus opens his eyes to see Zsaji breathe her last, the very final dregs of her life-force expended in her feat of resurrection. He weeps at her loss - but not for long, because he knows what he must do. He locates the body of Reed Richards, who is also less damaged than the others because of his elastic nature. He takes what is there to Doombase's healing chambers. Colossus has seen Reed manipulate these healing pods to help the likes of Enchantress, and he manages to make one work! Thus, due to Zsaji's application of cellular stasis, Reed Richards is restored to life! Working feverishly, Richards then uses the technology of the base to repeat the feat, building a massive cellular regeneration device that restores his allies to life as well! And they're all on their way to Doom's tower right now…
'Absurd!' Doom declares, though his face is fear-stricken. Such a thing couldn't possibly happen, the odds are impossible. Klaw agrees, but suggests that maybe Doom… helped things along. Maybe he secretly, subconsciously, wanted the heroes to survive, to rise from the ashes and live again. After all, he didn't complete atomize them before. He blew them up, sure, and the 'bolt from the blue' tactic fits his flair for the dramatic, but there were dozens of surer ways to kill them all. So why did he go with the method he chose? Doom declares that Klaw's mad scenario is nonsense, and Klaw points out that there's an easy way to be sure - just activate his divine power and check on them!
Doom declares that he will - and he pauses suddenly with wide eyes, terrified. Now that Klaw has put the scenario in his head, if he were to activate his power, he might make it come true just by channeling his subconscious thoughts into truth. The merest stray thought could alter reality, and resurrect his foes. But if he doesn't use his powers and refresh himself, he might eventually grow weary and fall asleep. And what then? This is madness! He has to drive out these thoughts. The heroes are dead, dead, dead! And yet… how many times has he thought Reed Richards was dead in the past, only for him to be wrong? And if there is one man who could overcome the odds, wouldn't it be Captain America? No… no! They are dead!
The whole debate is rendered utterly academic when, quite suddenly, the hammer of Thor hurls through the walls of the tower and into Doom's sanctum. Doom realizes it's true - the heroes live! Klaw's story really happened! Doom decides he must let the power rise and destroy the heroes once more! The moment he pulls on the Beyonder's might, however, the power runs amok and lashes out in every direction, covering half the Battleworld in a cataclysmic aura of pure energy. Doom manages to grasp the power at the last moment, preventing himself from unmaking reality, and admits that the power ran wild - his mind is churning, his thoughts racing, which makes it difficult to keep control.
Klaw says Doom just needs to relax, and proposes a solution - he'll take out the heroes in Doom's stead! Doom should just give Klaw a bit of his power, and he'll use it to take down the heroes while Doom takes it easy! Doom agrees, offering his finger to Klaw, and he infuses an iota of the Beyonder's power into the idiot clown. An infinitesimal sliver of the whole, but enough to blot out ten-thousand suns - or a few dozen superheroes. He commands Klaw to go, while he tries to contain his power once more, and compose himself.
At that moment the resurrected heroes arrive en masse at the tower, just as Mjolnir makes its way to Thor's side. Having witnessed the spectacular outpouring of energy when Doom briefly lost control, they're even more determined to take him on - and at the forefront stand Captain America, broken shield in his hand. Spider-Man's senses suddenly go into overdrive, and he warns that something wickedly dangerous is heading their way, and the Captain declares they should be ready for anything. 'Anything' turns out to be a gigantic three-eyed purple behemoth that towers over the heroes, which suddenly appeared out of nowhere. As the heroes take it on, Klaw watches from nearby, amazed to discover that instead of just images and sounds, he can now make real things! He's going to make a whole army of weird creatures…!
First, though, he should remake something else! He conjures up Ultron out of nothing, just as alive as any robot could be. Klaw declares that he used to be Doom's bodyguard, but he's getting a promotion - he's not the Captain of Doom's army! His mission is to wipe out the heroes, and his army will consist of… well, he'll see in a minute. He can go ahead and get started. Ultron declares he needs no army and rushes off. Klaw says he's getting one anyway, and starts conjuring up all sorts of crazy critters - a menagerie of the familiar and unfamiliar, from blue furry bigfoots to knockoff skull-crawlers, from frog-bat-rodent monstrosities to mechanical pterosaurs. Soon the heroes clash with this impromptu army, and beams and vicious melee-strikes go in every direction as the landscape is reduced to a warzone.
A blue monkey-like creature attacks the Thing, who suddenly finds himself reverting to Ben Grimm again mid-battle, much to his dismay. She-Hulk runs up to help him out, but Ben refuses to be taken down in this embarrassing way, and declares it's not going to happen - he won't let it! Quite suddenly Ben stops the transformation and turns back into the Thing, smashing the blue creature away with his super-strength. She-Hulk is amazed that he reversed the change, wondering since when he is able to do that. Ben admits that he couldn't, but he just did! Ever since he came to Battleworld he's been flip-flopping back and forth, so it must be something about this world - but now he can finally control it! He can feel it! He starts tearing up at the thought. She-Hulk isn't sure what to say, and Ben tells her to just keep clobbering. Heh.
Elsewhere on the battlefield Hulk takes on Ultron, punching the robot into the side of Doom's tower and successfully damaging it. In retaliation the robot blast a beam back at Hulk and hits him in the ankle, shattering it. Spider-Woman, Iron Man, and the Wasp arrive to back him up, with the latter warning the others not to grapple Ultron, since he's too strong - advice which comes too late, as the other two are blown back. Ultron throws around some more of his beam attacks, forcing the heroes to retreat, until he suddenly starts sparking and blowing up. Iron Man figures his warranty must have expired, but soon enough Wasp appears out of the robot's mouth, revealing that she used her size-changing to sneak inside through the damage Hulk caused, and then just started yanking wires...
More monsters pour out to face the heroes, who soon find themselves overwhelmed by furry Hulk-analogues, insect-men, enormous mud-golems, and any number of other creatures. Captain America decides that it's a hopeless fight, and they need to get past these catspaws to get at the actual threat, Doom! Klaw actually takes part in the battle now, proclaiming himself Klaw the Mighty! Cap isn't impressed, and bowls Klaw off his feet with a hefty kick. He then uses the opportunity to slip into the door of the tower, leaving Doom's minion behind. Klaw gets to his feet in his wake, and declares: 'Perfect-erfect-erfect…'
Seconds later, deep inside the tower, Cap rushes into Doom's office to find the man sitting in much the same place as last time, leaning back in his lazy chair while drinking from a chalice. Doom acknowledges that if anyone would make it this far, it surely would be Captain America. He declares it doesn't matter, since there's nothing Cap can actually do to harm him, as there's no way a mere mortal can conquer someone who is omnipotent. Cap points out that Doom managed to defeat the Beyonder just recently which rather defeats his point, and Doom wouldn't have felt the need to destroy the heroes unless he was afraid they might manage it. Doom says he's heard enough, and tells Cap he will not conquer Doom! He then channels his power, unleashing the lid on his cosmic power a little until he's engulfed in a nimbus of power once more. Klaw watches on from nearby, an eerie alien glow in his eyes…
Cap rushes towards Doom, ready to shield-bash a god in the face, but gets instantly and utterly vaporized for his trouble. 'Die, Avenger!' Doom declares as Cap vanishes in a puff of ashes.
He was atomized this time, gone forever! Doom decides it's finished, and goes to calm his raging soul, to restore order to his thoughts before the random spillage of his power caused by his inner unrest might cause… the unthinkable! Looking up, Doom is horrified to realize that his subconscious has already recreated his foe - Captain America once more rushes towards him! He raises his hand once more, vaporizing Cap again - only for him to reform within moments! As Cap lashes out with his fist, Doom cries out in fear and collapses to the floor, overcome by his raging inner demons.
Captain America realizes something strange is going on when Doom crumbles before he's even touched. He's evidently unaware he's died and was remade twice in the past few seconds. He realizes that Doom is fighting another battle on the inside to control his endless power, and Cap consider that winning his fight might have lead Doom to lose the other - and doom the entire universe! Cap calls out to Doom, telling the man that he's losing touch with the universe, and he needs some sort of anchor. He then offers his hand, much to Doom's shock, and tells Doom to take it before it's too late. 'Too late?' Klaw wonders, his eyes glowing. 'No, the time is just right…'
The glow in Klaw's eyes rushes out of him, turning into a cloud of pure energy, revealed as the shimmering radiance of the once-omnipotent Beyonder himself. Before Doom can gather himself again, and before Cap can help him, the Beyonder savagely reclaims his power from its thief, leaving Doom unconscious in his wake.
Klaw wakes up from his stupor to realize what he's done, and immediately apologizes to Doom for setting up the situation, explaining that he was under the Beyonder's control. His master can't hear him. The Beyonder, omnipotent once more, picks up Doom's body as he did when dissecting him, and reverts him to the way he was before the Secret Wars began, reforming his classic armor and cape, and reattaching a familiar iron mask over a ravaged face. Klaw pushes an astonished Cap out of the way to be with his master, and in that instant the Beyonder vanishes into nothing, taking Doom and Klaw with him. In their wake remains only a puff of smoke...
Cap departs from the tower to find that the other heroes drove Klaw's creatures away, and everyone's alright. What happened in there? Cap says he'll explain the whole story later, but for the moment they should just know… it's all over. They should head back to Doombase, and conclude some important business. That includes burying Zsaji, who did indeed die as per Klaw's story. Colossus grieves over her grave, and when Nightcrawler asks the man if he's coming, and it's Wolverine who drags the devilish mutant away to leave Colossus in peace.
Inside Doombase, Reed immediately goes to find a way to get everyone home, and tells the rest to just take it easy until he's finished. Spider-Man goes for a snack, raiding an alien pantry for some fruit - though he's not sure why they all look like eggplant in this place. He muses that at the moment, if he were offered the choice between world peace or a Big Mac, he wouldn't know what to pick. He uses his new suit's ability to retract from his face, quite happy about all its nifty features. He then tracks down the sound of voices, figuring maybe people are watching television nearby.
He stumbles into the room with the costume-making machine, where Storm and Professor X have picked up their earlier discussion about leadership. Storm notes that with the crisis over, back on Earth she'll be reclaiming leadership over the team. Xavier agrees, but then immediately backtracks by explaining that with his legs back, he sees no reason why he can't occasionally assume a more active combat leadership role. As such, he figures he should be appropriate attired! It seems the X-Men took the opportunity to put on some new clothes, most of which are pretty awful. Storm muses that Xavier still thinks of this all as a game, but he should remember there are lives on the line.
Spider-Man is a bit puzzled that everyone is gathered around a different machine than the one he used to make his costume. He calls out to one of them, wondering if their new duds have fancy tricks like his, like responding to their thoughts? Johnny shakes his head, noting they're just clothes. Spidey questions why his own are so different… Ah, probably not important, right?
Meanwhile, in Reed's lab, Hulk is laid out with a metal leg brace attached to his broken leg. It seems his gamma-laden body doesn't work well with the local healing pods, and he'd short them all out. As such he'll have to make do with more primitive methods until he heals naturally. Reed also hands the Hulk an enormous crutch to support his huge body, which should tide him over.
Hawkeye meets Hulk in the hallways, noting that Reed has fixed him up good - and he helped Hawkeye get some new arrows! What a guy! When Hulk snarls at him, Hawkeye wonders if the Hulk is reverting to his savage personality entirely, since he's been getting angrier all the time over the last few days. Maybe it's time to get even more arrows? Maybe even some heavy-duty ones! (One track mind, this one.)
Later, a mysterious one-armed man stumbles into a room full of relaxing heroes, awkwardly greeting them. It'd Doctor Curt Connors, the human identity of the Lizard! Spider-Man rushes over to ask what happened, and Connors explained that he found himself waking up a few miles away, unsure how he got there - but he does know the Lizard persona was sucked out of him - it's gone! He saw this fortress and figured he'd go look for civilization, and the doors all opened for him like magic, as if they knew he wanted in! Nightcrawler observes it's lucky that Connors made his way back to them before they all departed for Earth, or he'd have been stranded here! Speaking of, Storm wishes Lockheed the Dragon would return, and as if summoned the creature flies into the room, accompanied by a second tiny dragon!
Cap observes that some really amazing and unlikely things are happening, and Reed arrives to explain why - it's the same reason that his lab experiments have been going so well. This wish-fulfillment phenomenon they're all experiencing is caused by the after-effects of Doom spilling power all over the place earlier, charging the planet itself with residual cosmic energy that strongly reacts to people's desires, their subconscious will. Like lucky fallout! Cap hears this and heads off, a man with a mission…
Later, in a dimly lit room, Captain America gathers the remains of his trusty shield, shattered by Doom's divine retribution. The shield was the product of a freak metallurgic accident, a disc of unknown composition and with unique properties, impervious to any force which humans can comprehend. It lies before him like a wounded friend, now - how many times has it saved his life? He closes his eyes, and wishes. The shield's usefulness is at its end, since no furnace could reforge it, no blacksmith repair it. Unless, by force of will, by sheer desire… he can accomplish the impossible! Cap opens his eyes, and before him lies his shield, once more intact!
A short time later, on the barren wastes outside Doombase, Reed explains how they're getting home. They'll be using the same construct that the Beyonder used to get here in the first place - the flying space stations from the first issue. He'll send it back to Central Park again, but from there each of them will be teleported to whatever location they focus on. They'll have to go in small groups, so the first to go are Spider-Man, Spider-Woman, the Hulk, Dr. Connors, and Magneto. Spidey wonders why Magneto isn't going with his buddies the X-Men, but he says for the moment he must move alone.
With the first group away, it's the X-Men's turn, but Colossus refuses to go. Professor X notes that it may seem unfair, but Zsaji is dead, and not even Reed's machines can revive her - at some point dead really is dead, and she passed that point bringing him back. All that remains now is the question of whether he will let her death destroy him, thereby wasting her sacrifice. Colossus cries at the injustice, but reluctantly comes along. The X-Men gather together and Reed goes to hit the button, when at the last moment the second tiny dragon swoop in to join them. A huge explosion occurs, and Johnny points out that did not look good. Reed admits that it was a bit violent, and hopes it won't interfere with their materialization back on Earth… Still, at least the device still works, so the rest of them can get out. Cold, man!
The Avengers are next, and Cap wonders where She-Hulk is. She's actually with the Thing, and declares that she's taking his place on the Fantastic Four! Reed is shocked when Ben explains that he's not going back - not yet. But since he figured the team would need someone strong to bail them out of trouble, she asked She-Hulk to fill in for him. He explains that there's something about Battleworld that lets him turn back and forth from rocky to human, and he's been dreaming for that for years. Johnny explains that he has nothing and nobody on this planet, but Ben just says he's got himself, and before he goes back to a place where he can't be the real him, he wants to do some thinking. Reed can just leave him the gizmo that sends them home, so he can return when he's ready.
Soon enough the Avengers teleport out, leaving only the Fantastic Four behind. Reed tries to convince Ben one last time, but his mind is set. Reed reluctantly agrees, but thinks to himself that he believes the real reason for Ben's transformations has nothing to do with this planet - but it's the kind of thing that might shatter a man. It's best he discover the truth himself, slowly, or that it stays hidden forever. Ben says they should get the show on the road, and hits the button. Reed tells him not to lose the device, or… He's gone. Ben decides Reed's a nice guy, but a bit of a worrywart, but he'll be fine by his lonesome. But what was it that F.D.R. once said, again? 'There ain't nuthin' to fear…?'
Fin.
Rating & Comments
The grand finale is here and it… spends half its running time on either exposition, weird tangents about the Enchantress, or epilogue scenes. Uh, alright then - I guess we got lucky that it's 50% longer than the other issues, then! It makes me appreciate the structure of Game of Thrones' early seasons a bit more - getting the climax in episode 9 leaves a nice final episode to tie up loose ends and foreshadow what is to come, rather than having to do everything in a single go, probably rushing much of it just to fit within the expected run-time. With at least two or three issues full of filler in this storyline, it feels rather poorly planned to make the final issue pull a whole bunch of weight like this.
For an example here, the finale to Colossus story arc, which was kind of baffling from the start but got rather a lot of screen time across these twelve issues, is essentially finished off by getting told she died by Klaw, then like two panels of Colossus sitting at her grave, then the other X-Men telling him to get his ass moving because she's dead. Johnny Storm, who had a fling with her within days of her death, evidently doesn't give a toss, and doesn't even get a single panel addressing his relationship. The last word from him is, evidently, calling her a whore! Similarly, we get a hand-waved finale to Magneto's arc, with him just leaving the X-Men behind without any apparent discussion. The villains head home, but the last we see of them they're still within Battleworld's solar system without a clear way home, save for Molecule Man eventually figuring out his powers. It feels like these sorts of thing would have been addressed in an epilogue-type issue, but we never got that.
Another part that points to the rushed nature of this issue is Enchantress and the exposition elemental. After nobody has any idea who or what the Beyonder is, and everything being super-mysterious for eleven issues, suddenly this completely unmentioned character shows up through random magic, and starts delivering explanations for the entire Secret Wars at the last possible moment. There's no reason this character would know about an extra-dimensional being, what its intentions might be, or any details about his plan to pit people against each other to study their desires. Sure, elements of this could be deduced from Secret Wars #10 during Doom's dissection scene, but there's no reason this would randomly be known to a water spirit Enchantress pulled out of a bath! It feels incredibly lazy, and it seems like all this backstory of the Beyonder would have been a much better thing to spend time on in this series than Lizard and Wasp chatting in a swamp, or Professor X being a douchebag to people, or anything at all regarding Zsaji.
I'm not sure why the Enchantress got quite so much coverage here since most of the rest of Secret Wars she just hung around being either lazy, drunk, or annoying. Here she finally claims that favor Volcana owed her, justifying it with the weirdest logic - she knows that Doom intends to free a soul from Mephisto, so clearly this means Asgard is in danger. I'm not sure Amora is terribly welcome in Asgard, and she's worked against its interest often enough, so I'm not sure what she's thinking. A more clever part of the whole encounter is Lizard following her teleport to Battleworld, and then getting drained of his life-force by a blinded Enchantress, who evidently never notices that with the Lizard's life removed, Dr. Curt Connors is left behind in the dust. It's convenient, but I suppose the whole 'wish-fulfillment planet' thing helps with that.
Now, that said, I don't actually mind the explanation given for the Beyonder here. It would be retconned to all hell in the future, but for the moment he is relatively simple in concept: a being from a universe or multiverse in which he is everything - the ultimate deistic god, one that never bothered creating anything else at all. His interest in the desires of 'incomplete' beings explains the Secret Wars, plus the Beyonder's relative childishness and lack of understanding may explain why he started such a simplistic good-versus-evil type conflict, and why he seemed so cluelessly interested by Doom's body in Secret Wars #10, as if he'd never studied one before. The implication of all of this, I believe, is that the Beyonder is a being that cannot understand desire because he's capable of granting any wish, including all of his own, and you can't really want something if you already have it. What I suppose he does lack is subconscious desires, which is why his powers do not run amok when he's using them, but overwhelm other people, even ones with incredible mental control.
Doctor Doom's struggle with the Beyonder's powers is foreshadowed when he first gains the cosmic might of Galactus, and briefly finds himself warping reality without meaning to. He quickly clamps down on his iron will and takes the reins of that power, but it's an infinitesimal amount of power compared to the Beyonder's, so it's a bad sign that he has any amount of trouble at all with it. It's interesting that Doom's issue with controlling his might is exactly as he described it to Captain America in Secret Wars #11 - Captain America seemed to distrust Doom's description of why he kept his power suppressed there, but he was being entirely truthful. I have a sneaking suspicion that all those paintings and busts of Cynthia von Doom showing up everywhere may have been the result of a bit of subconscious spillage already, honestly - at home, even Doom is not quite that tacky. One glorious painting of himself is quite enough!
How much the strain of controlling his subconscious is affecting Doom becomes apparent by how often he seeks to rest, and how his judgment becomes impaired over time. Early on he seems to be quite willful with his decisions and goes around performing miracles, but by this issue he uses his powers for a single act before suppressing them again, fearful he might do other things without meaning to. He starts relying on Klaw more than he normally would, seemingly not noticing the increasingly out-of-character behavior of his minion, until there comes a point where Klaw proposes taking some of Doom's power, and he goes along with it because he's too exhausted to come up with an alternative. In the end Doom collapses before he can even be hit by Captain America, too caught up in his own mind to focus on what's in front of him, incapable of controlling himself or his subconscious and letting his power rage out of control.
The Beyonder's plan in this issue, carried out through the means of Klaw, is honestly quite brilliant. Aware of the way his powers work off someone's desires, subconscious or otherwise, he manipulates Doom into the exact mind state that he desires. Like telling someone not to think of an elephant, he puts the concept of the heroes' survival in his head, and subconsciously he makes it the truth, presumably when he starts rationalizing that heroes do have a nasty habit of popping back up. His seemingly absolute belief that Captain America would naturally find a way to reach him seems especially relevant, since he unwittingly recreates Cap several times, seemingly unable to squash that particular belief before it can be rendered real. Klaw's hypothetical story is ludicrously contrived, of course, but the point was that Doom would accept it as a possibility, and that was all that was necessary. All the Beyonder needed is for Doom to give it a thought… and in so doing engineer his own downfall. Out of everything this issue does, I think that finale is the most clever.
This issue feels a bit like it's marking off check-boxes, especially towards the end - Spider-Man finds out there's something weird about his costume and shrugs it off in the same shot that the X-Men suddenly get new and hideous costumes, including an awful yellow onesie for Professor X. The Hulk ends up with a leg-brace and heavy-duty walking stick at the last moment, presumably because they already established he ended up with those in Secret Wars, and never figured out a good way to work that into an earlier issue. Curt Connors shows up to quickly fix the random presence of the Lizard in continuity, since he was already cured of his condition before Secret Wars and turned back by the Beyonder. Lockheed randomly shows up with a friend, Cap fixes his shield, and then Reed invents a cross-universal teleporter overnight because we need a way off this rock. (Leaving aside the fact he cured death in this issue already…) None of those are terrible engaging scenes, but I guess they're all obligatory to reset continuity or to make sure things match up with what's happening in other books. Meh.
In conclusion, this issue's wrap-up of Doom's downfall and the Secret Wars in general is not bad, and the Beyonder's backstory makes sense, even if it's delivered in the most dry possible way, through random exposition by an unknown character. The issue leaves a lot of threads dangling though, even as it desperately tries to plug all the holes it can. We never learn the fate of Battleworld as a whole and all the people kidnapped to be on it - I presume there are more people there than one random village of aliens and a chunk of Denver, and I believe later Thing comics would confirm that. We get elaborate detail on how Cap fixes his shield, but we never do see the USS Suburbia arrive home, or learn why the X-Men decided to become terrible dressers at the last moment. I'm gonna have to go with an average 3 on this one - one 4-star scene with a bunch of mediocre stuff around it isn't really worth more than a decent score, I think.
Where Are They Now? (A Post-Secret Wars Wrap-Up)
Just to give you some idea of what happens to everyone after Secret Wars is over and done with: The Avengers head home to Central Park in New York, and are welcomed back by a bunch of their colleagues in Avengers v1 #243, who just an hour before held a rather awkward press conference about their absence. Vision came off as an idiot in that - there's clearly something wrong with that guy! Also the West Coast Avengers are announced here, the first time there would be two Avengers teams rather than just the one. The X-Men would reappear in Uncanny X-Men v1 #181, but due to the explosion induced by the second miniature dragon, they would end up in Japan rather than Central Park. The dragon they took along promptly turns into a giant monster, which Japan seems rather ready for - kids start trying to identify the thing, the military reports that all the monsters from Monster Island are accounted for, and they wonder what the thing is doing here during monster 'off-season.' Some things are universal, I guess.
The Hulk returns to his own series in Incredible Hulk v1 #295 rather more savage than he left, and discovers someone's been using a gamma-based treatment to cure people's cancer without checking for side-effects first. The people end up with green skin but seemingly okay - but then one of them starts going feral. Spider-Man would show up in his new black suit in Amazing Spider-Man v1 #252 with Curt Connors in tow. The cops don't recognize the black Spidey and immediately try to shoot him - I'll leave any jokes one might want to crack about the situation to the reader. He'd eventually get the costume examined by Reed in Amazing Spider-Man v1 #258, coming through on his promise in Secret Wars. The new Spider-Woman would show up again in Uncanny X-Men #206 as a member of Freedom Force, the rebranded Brotherhood of Evil Mutants under government control. Yeah, it's a thing.
The three members of the Fantastic Four - with She-Hulk tagging along instead of the Thing - return in Fantastic Four v1 #265 and are met by Alicia Masters and Sue Storm. The latter quite suddenly and painfully discharges energy, which is determined to be the result of her unusual pregnancy, and they rush her to the hospital. There, two issues later, she would lose the child to complications despite all efforts to help her, including getting Bruce Banner and even Doctor Octopus involved - they pull the latter straight out of the asylum Molecule Man put him in. The Thing, meanwhile, would remain on Battleworld from Thing #11-#22 and return to Earth in Fantastic Four v1 #277 to discover that Johnny Storm of all people is now dating Alicia Masters. Actually it's a Skrull pretending to be her, but that isn't revealed for years - it's complicated. Ben blames Reed for keeping silent about the real cause of his difficulty transforming (related to his love for Alicia) which eventually caused him to lose the ability altogether due to events on Battleworld in his own book. He would remain estranged from the team all the way until Fantastic Four v1 #296, presumably so he could be back in time for the anniversary.
The Beyonder, the Absorbing Man, Klaw, Molecule Man, Titania, Volcana and the Wrecker would all next appear during the events of Secret Wars II, which they probably want to forget. It's a pretty dreadful series, especially the tie-ins. Ultron makes an appearance in Thing #20 on Battleworld, which makes sense since I'm pretty sure he's got a couple broken version of himself littering the place. The Enchantress shows up in Thor v1 #350, so I guess she made it home in one piece too! The Wrecking Crew would show up again in Marvel Age Annual #1, a humorous affair which also contains the charming three-page special titled: 'Quotations of Chairman Doom', which is pretty much what it says on the tin. The proper next appearance is, I believe, in Avengers v1 #273. Zsaji would stay inside Secret Wars, though the grief her death caused would affect Colossus for a while.
And what of Doctor Doom? As a character who is now effectively dead twice-over, it's best to just keep reading this read-through, and we'll get to that whole complicated affair in due time.
In 2010, a Marvel Adventures all-ages non-canonical miniseries titled Spider-Man & the Secret Wars was released. It tells the story from Spider-Man's perspective and features major discrepancies with the original event. These include him receiving the Beyonder's power and creating 'New Parker City', Spider-Man and the Thing spying on Doom, and a story featuring Spider-Man's suspicions concerning the Hulk. It's likely I'll eventually cover this, though maybe just as a minor appearance.
In 2015, as part of the modern day Secret Wars, Deadpool's Secret Secret Wars was released. This four-issue miniseries retells the events of the original miniseries from Deadpool's point of view and fixes inconsistencies with the original and later events. Among these was the Wasp and Magneto's sudden one-night stand in Secret Wars #3, and the purpose of the Secret Shields from the original toy line that never show up in the comics. It was ultimately revealed that the Wasp, out of either disgust or regret after seeing Deadpool's cancer-ridden body, accidentally caused everyone to forget his entire involvement in the storyline, thus creating the various inconsistencies. As a character who debuted in 1991, I am impressed that he could make it to the Secret Wars at all!
Afterthoughts about Secret Wars
After twelve full issues of one of the first mega-crossovers in comic book history, I have to admit that it's rather different than I expected. I knew about Doctor Doom gaining godhood, of course, I'd read issue #10 before on its own and got rather intrigued. This is the first time I've delved into in detail, and it's astonishing how much of it is spent on subjects that seem so utterly unrelated to basically anything. My favorite aspects include, naturally, the entirety of Doom's storyline, but they also include smaller things: I liked the recurring gag of Hawkeye constantly complaining about running out of arrows and making new ones out of random sticks because he's gone through all his high-tech ones and he doesn't have access to replacements. It even gets a capstone joke in the final issue! Absorbing Man is a hoot through the first half of this series, and gets some of the best jokes, period. Captain America goes from lackluster to genuinely cool towards the end, especially that moment when he's been killed three times in the same day and still offers his murderer a helping hand. I also liked the Lizard's ridiculous plot-line, though he came off as pretty out of character.
On a more neutral note, I appreciated the new characters introduced in this series - both Titania and Volcana have their own appeal, with the former impressing early on through her sheer power and viciousness, and Volcana proving to be the more loyal and reasonable of the two, although she does get rather whiny when it comes to Molecule Man. I'm still puzzled why Secret Wars repeatedly felt the need to make pejorative references to Volcana's weight when none of the panels actually make her look fat - and even if she was, it still comes off as pointlessly cruel. Woman can melt Iron Man suits on the regular, do we really need to go around calling her 'filthy fatbag'? Speaking of Molecule Man - this series actually made him seem impressive and dangerous rather than just kind of ridiculous, which is tough to pull off when he's a bit of a dweeb. You'd think the other villains would learn to lay off after the first time he threw a mountain range, though. Magneto's place among the heroes is intriguing and gets a bit of exploration, but almost all his development is in one issue, and he does have that sexual assault thing counting against him...
On the bad end, as one might expect, is the Colossus/Johnny/Szaji subplot, and even the implication that Zsaji's healing abilities caused people to fall in love with her doesn't really make the entire subplot any more appealing or interesting. It took up way more time than it should have. Hulk spends a lot of time whining and getting his ass kicked, but does at least get a standout moment. Professor X keeps showcasing that he's an asshole, and doesn't really resolve anything by the end of the series - presumably this nonsense continues in his own title. Spider-Woman proves to be pretty pointless as an inclusion. Thor is almost entirely irrelevant despite being a god in a series about Doom becoming a god. Klaw is an annoying plot device. Ultron gets utterly devalued, since he's beaten in succession by Galactus, then Johnny Storm, then Wasp. Speaking of, the Wasp has a weird sexual assault moment with Magneto, spends half the series just sort of hanging out off-panel, in a swamp, or dead, and then returns in the last moment to do little more than take out a threat that by now has been thoroughly trivialized. Wonderful.
Final considerations, then - this series is worth a read, but definitely less impressive than its reputation may suggest, with some less than stellar issues and story-lines, and a very noticeable slump in the middle, before the series gets to its epic finale. The overall plot was well-planned and interesting, with the final confrontation being less about punching and kicking things than conquering one's own inner demons. The Beyonder was always pretty much a plot device anyway, so Doom always was the man to beat, as he should be. But then, I'd say that, wouldn't I?
It's my view that Doom was ultimately brought low because in his heart of hearts, there's something he desires besides power. That's why he brought the heroes back from the dead, resurrected from the ashes. It's a foible that seems common among overpowered characters who don't know what to do with themselves. Four words.
He needed worthy opponents. (I'm not sorry.)
Best Panel(s) of the Issue
I absolutely love some of the monster designs in this issue, but nothing more than this panel with the furry Hulk-analogue and the other bizarre critters around it. I'm told that this may have something to do with reserve inkers that filled in some of the work to get it done on time, including Art Adams, whose style is apparently pretty distinctive.
Most Gloriously Divine Doom Quotes
"Now, once again, I shall draw the power in… contain it… seal it up safely within the depths of my being! Lest in a careless moment, a casual flick of my little finger might blacken a star system, or wipe out an intergalactic civilization. Lest, like Vishnu, 'I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.' This universe is too fragile."
"This is madness! I must drive these thoughts, these doubts, from my mind! They are dead! Dead! Dead! And yet… how many times in the past have I thought that Reed Richards was dead? And if there were one man who might overcome the odds… is it not Captain America? No. No!"
"Die, Avenger! ...He's atomized! Gone Forever! It is finished! Over! Now, now I must calm the raging storm in my soul! Bring order to my thoughts - lest the random spillage of power cosmic caused by my unrest - cause the unthinkable! Oh… No… No! You - you must die - and stay dead! DIE! No! No… No… No-o-o!"
Doom's Bad Hair Day
Can i just nominate whatever abomination this is? The X-Men get some garish costumes in general, but Xavier's get-up takes the cake here. Canary-yellow, seriously?
Cover
Three Doom-focused covers in a row? Nice! For a crossover series with an abundance of characters, it's pretty telling that like three-and-half out of twelve covers are focused on Doctor Doom! Having just destroyed the entire heroic cast for their declaration of intent to commit deicide, we get a nice shot of mask-less Doom luxuriating in his victory with the remains of his former enemies arrayed behind him. I would have preferred him in his normal costume, since I'm not a big fan of this high-tech Mattel-mandated breastplate, but I'll take what I can get. Doom, victorious! For the moment, anyway. Seeing as this is the final issue of Secret Wars, it's about time to see how this whole sordid affair comes to its long-awaited conclusion.
Story Overview
...Nothing to Fear…
We open on familiar imagery if you've been watching the MCU. Captain America's broken shield lies in smoking ruins, propped up among the bodies of two dozen dead heroes. Blood oozes from their mangled remains, sizzling among the debris of the once-might Doombase, destroyed by a bolt from the blue.
From a distant peak, the denizens of Zsaji's village witness the smoke spreading across the sky, and Zsaji herself fears what became of Colossus, who so recently departed from her side. She fears the worst…
Hundreds of miles away, in Doom's tower, dwells the author all this carnage. Klaw wonders if it's over - are they dead? Doom announces that they are, and then concentrates, pulling in the awesome power that he wielded to achieve this feat, containing it once more within his body. Klaw wonders why he'd do this - with all that power sealed up in a can, he's just another man! Doom's explanation for his actions is much the same as the one he gave to Captain America in the previous issue: if he is not careful with this power, his every moment might detonate stars, reduce civilizations to ruin. He may very well become Vishnu, the destroyer of worlds, entirely by accident. This universe is too fragile! This power is a heavy weight upon his shoulders. 'Poor Doom!' Klaw decides.
As the two move back towards Doom's office, and Doom takes off his armor to take a breather, Klaw says that with all the power bottled up, the world can relax - and so can he! Doom muses that with his enemies dead, he really can take it easy. Klaw wonders aloud if the heroes really are dead. I mean, that's what he said, but… Doom insist that they are dead. They must be dead!
Millions of miles away floats the space colony Suburbia, a six-mile chunk of Denver that Molecule Man is sailing through the cosmos. We get a timeframe for the Secret Wars, here - about a week has passed, all told. Hours ago it was ripped from Battleworld, and now it's on its way home. Inside Volcana's apartment, various super-criminals are chilling out - Absorbing Man is having a nap on the couch while Bulldozer is reading a good book. The Enchantress, meanwhile, has locked herself in the bathroom and is filling up the bathtub - it seems Molecule Man has seen fit to reconnect various amenities so people can survive during the long trip home.
Enchantress bows over the tub of water and commands a water elemental to rise, and soon a harried voice agrees to the request. Amora asks the watery tart what she might know of the Beyonder, and the elemental says it's a tough question - will she allow the elemental to walk through fields of flowers like mortals do in payment? Enchantress just threatens to freeze her solid, and the elemental quickly decides she'll answer. The elemental, it seems, has been gossiping with various other spirits, and what she heard is that the Beyonder, in his own realm, was everything, and everything was him, and he was content with that situation.
Then, the exposition elemental explains, an event in the Marvel universe opened a pinhole into this beyond-realm, and through that pinhole the Beyonder glimpsed Earth. For the first time he became curious, and for years he watched the Earth, and one thing he saw confounded him beyond all else: the incompleteness that beings from this universe seem to have, that which is called desire. He set about studying it, seeking out worthwhile subjects, and his eye was drawn to those with power, presence, and palpable desire. Like the Enchantress herself, naturally. So he reached into the golden realm of Asgard and snatched her right in the middle of some scheme to conquer the realms and seduce the Mighty Thor…
The Beyonder chose only a handful of beings from among the many he studied, like picking his favorite candies from a tray - or more appropriate, perhaps, his favorite action figure from the pile. Some he simply seized by force, others he opened the door for, and they came willingly. Those puzzled the Beyonder most of all - but then, how would an outsider make sense of the way superheroes behave? One he had all his subjects, he sorted them by the nature of their desires. That's why Magneto ended up with the heroes - his selfless desire to help mutant-kind seemed the most like theirs, and was different from the more personal, selfish desires like those of the Enchantress. The Beyonder then set up his challenge by provoking both groups to try and get their desires fulfilled, and sure enough a war broke out.
Finishing up this informative summation with a brief recap of Doom's theft of the Beyonder's powers, the elemental being then aks if she can go down the drain already. The Enchantress isn't done yet, however - since the elemental is a being connected to every puddle, basin of water, and cloud, does she know what's happening on Battleworld at that very moment? The elemental exclaims she doesn't have the power to determine something like that, and Enchantress grabs her by a strand of liquid hair and pushes her below the surface of her own water, declaring she'll get her the power to do it - now get going! The water begins churning, boiling, and in the seething liquid images begin to form, reflections of a distant reality. The images tell of Doom's utter destruction of the superheroes, see him relaxing in his sanctum with Klaw by his side, and finally predict his next action: to take the fight to Mephisto in his demonic realm, and free his mother's spirit.
Right about then the Absorbing Man arrives, pounding on the door of the bathroom and wondering if maybe the Enchantress fell into the pot or something. 'Any time this week, 'chantress. Some of us ain't immortal, ya know!'
Amora tells him to have patience, and asks the tired elemental one more question: is the Beyonder dead? She confirms that he is not - he's close by Doom, actually, but too weak to act. He's hiding where Doom would never expect, awaiting an opportunity, a moment of vulnerability! The Enchantress finally leaves the bathroom and passes by Absorbing Man, who could have sworn he'd heard talking… and why does Amora look so scared? Eh, whatever. Women.
In the living room, the Lizard is going slightly pear-shaped in the confines of a suburban city, declaring he wants to leave this human nest and return to his comfortable swamp. He hates humans! The Wrecking Crew propose to kill the crazy overgrown salamander, but Volcana interrupts and uses her fire to separate Lizard from the rest, declaring he's just confused. He doesn't mean harm, he just wants to go home!
She promises the Lizard they'll be home soon, and Doctor Octopus cuts in with an incredulous 'soon?' He wonders if she realizes how unlikely it is that they'll ever reach Earth - if an ant was dropped in the middle of the Sahara desert it would stand a better chance of getting to Hawaii! Even if, by some miracle, they were headed in the right direction, it'd still take billions of lifetimes to travel between galaxies!
Volcana asks if Doc Ock can't have at least a little faith in her boyfriend, the Molecule Man. Doc Ock smashes a huge hole in the wall while declaring he can't! He's interrupted when Owen Reece himself suddenly teleports into the room, wondering what the problem is. He's been practicing his matter-energy conversion, you see, now that Doom has opened his eyes to all he is capable of. He asks Doc Ock what he's upset about, and the Doctor explains he'd rather take his chances on Battleworld than die of old age on a rock blindly wandering in space. Even travelling near light-speed, it would take billions of years to reach Earth! So far they've only travelled a few million miles - they're still in sight of Battleworld, even! Molecule Man agrees, but says he can get them all home. He'll show what he means, if only he's given the chance!
While the villains are bickering, a voice suddenly enters Volcana's mind and puppets her body outside, declaring she cannot resist. The Lizard watches her go, puzzled. Moments later, in a nearby glen, it's revealed that the Enchantress was the one to lure Volcana. The time has come, she declares, for Volcana to fulfill her half of the bargain they struck back in Secret Wars #7. Volcana desired to be transported to her wounded boyfriend's side at the time, and in return she offered anything. Right now, Amora has need of that promise - for she has learned that the fate of all beings, gods and men alike, are imperiled - and she must warn Asgard at once. The distance is too great to teleport, however, and she needs more power to make the trip. Draining Volcana's life-force shall afford her that power! 'Prepare to die, sow!' Ouch, again with the fat shaming? She's not even fat!
Elsewhere, Owen Reece points up at the sky, telling Doc Ock to take a good look. The tentacled villain is not sure what that's about, but is startled to discover that there are now stars in the sky. But the Beyonder destroyed all the local stars to create Battleword and its sun! Reece happily agrees, and explains that using his newly increased powers, he's been reconstructing and reigniting those stars! He can do anything with matter and energy, and he's learning how to do space warps too, which is how he teleported into Volcana's living room earlier. With just a little more practice, he should be able to take the whole of suburban Denver back where it's supposed to be!
Doc Ock goes slightly nuts when he observes the stupendous scale of what the Molecule Man is capable of, declaring that it's impossible. He starts throwing stuff around, ripping up buildings to try and crush Reece while declaring it has to be a trick. Nobody makes a fool of Doctor Octopus! When Doc Ock descends into ranting death threats, Reece has had quite enough and raises his hand. He catches the villain by animating the cement of a nearby road, leaving him utterly incapable of movement. Reece decides that clearly Doc Ock isn't all there in the head, and he should be handed over to the authorities once they get back home. With any luck they'll put him in a nice institution. It's really for his own good there - a nice therapist can do wonders, you know…
The Lizard approaches Molecule Man to explain that his girlfriend is gone - the witch-woman has taken her! He knows Volcana's scent, though, so he'll help Reece find the woman who was nice to him! Elsewhere, the paralyzed and drained Volcana asks how the Enchantress can be this cruel. Amora says that her life is forfeit for a noble cause - but not before calling her 'bloated one' again. She explains that Doom means to invade Mephisto's realm, and Asgard may well be next after that. She's no good guy, but she has a duty to her own kind, to the All-Father, and to life itself! As such, Volcana's time has come!
The Lizard and Reece race into the clearing, and the Enchantress is forced to release Volcana to face the new threats. She angrily declares that the idiots don't know what they're doing, and decides to flee to the only place that's within reach of her teleportation. Even as she fades, the Lizard makes a giant leap to reach her, declaring that the one who hurt Volcana must die! Split-seconds later both Amora and her attacker reappear whole - on Battleworld! Lizard slashes the Enchantress across the face with his claws, and is knocked aside.
Furious at the marring of her beauty, which will cost her dearly in pain and sorcerous power to repair, she's not feeling too kind. Still clutching her face, she declares that she needs no consent or covenant to rip away the life-force of a lesser creature, and unleashes her vampiric magic. Soon she's engulfed in energy as the smoking body of her poor victim is left behind, and she goes to teleport again. She's not sure if she has enough energy to manage it, but she tries to return to Asgard - or perhaps to death in the icy void…
At that moment, back in the tower of Doom, the nascent god is dozing. Klaw approaches from the side, his eyes glowing with an eerie light… Suddenly Doom is shocked awake, terrified to realize he almost fell asleep, and he berates Klaw for not keeping a better eye on him. Do you know what could happen? If his awesome power should rise while he's asleep, it would be controlled only by his subconscious, his dreams. It could send the entirety of reality into chaos, or even cause the end of the universe! Klaw nods, and muses that maybe Doom could even accidentally revive the heroes! That could happen, right? It's not beyond his power, right? Doom rejects the notion instantly - they are dead! Klaw wonders if maybe he did recreate them somewhere along the line without realizing it, but Doom again declares he has not - he is in full control of his power, and knows what he's done, and who he has undone!
Klaw then states that there's another way the heroes might have returned, and Doom demands to know what it is. Klaw turns this into a bit of a multimedia presentation, using his mastery over sound to create 3D images in the air, somehow, which depict his hypothetical tale. He projects an image of Zsaji, overlooking the destroyed Doombase. She rushes to the scene, distraught to find the gory remains of Doom's victims. Straining her healing to the utmost on everybody she sees, she manages to put into stasis what little life lingers, preserving the victims on the edge of non-existence. Finally she discovers the remains of her lover, Colossus, irretrievably dead by human standards, but less dead than the others. You see, Captain America warned him that a bolt out of the blue might strike them all dead, so he instinctively armored up at the last moment! Zsaji pours her energy into Colossus, and succeeds in bringing him back from the threshold of death!
Whole again, Colossus opens his eyes to see Zsaji breathe her last, the very final dregs of her life-force expended in her feat of resurrection. He weeps at her loss - but not for long, because he knows what he must do. He locates the body of Reed Richards, who is also less damaged than the others because of his elastic nature. He takes what is there to Doombase's healing chambers. Colossus has seen Reed manipulate these healing pods to help the likes of Enchantress, and he manages to make one work! Thus, due to Zsaji's application of cellular stasis, Reed Richards is restored to life! Working feverishly, Richards then uses the technology of the base to repeat the feat, building a massive cellular regeneration device that restores his allies to life as well! And they're all on their way to Doom's tower right now…
'Absurd!' Doom declares, though his face is fear-stricken. Such a thing couldn't possibly happen, the odds are impossible. Klaw agrees, but suggests that maybe Doom… helped things along. Maybe he secretly, subconsciously, wanted the heroes to survive, to rise from the ashes and live again. After all, he didn't complete atomize them before. He blew them up, sure, and the 'bolt from the blue' tactic fits his flair for the dramatic, but there were dozens of surer ways to kill them all. So why did he go with the method he chose? Doom declares that Klaw's mad scenario is nonsense, and Klaw points out that there's an easy way to be sure - just activate his divine power and check on them!
Doom declares that he will - and he pauses suddenly with wide eyes, terrified. Now that Klaw has put the scenario in his head, if he were to activate his power, he might make it come true just by channeling his subconscious thoughts into truth. The merest stray thought could alter reality, and resurrect his foes. But if he doesn't use his powers and refresh himself, he might eventually grow weary and fall asleep. And what then? This is madness! He has to drive out these thoughts. The heroes are dead, dead, dead! And yet… how many times has he thought Reed Richards was dead in the past, only for him to be wrong? And if there is one man who could overcome the odds, wouldn't it be Captain America? No… no! They are dead!
The whole debate is rendered utterly academic when, quite suddenly, the hammer of Thor hurls through the walls of the tower and into Doom's sanctum. Doom realizes it's true - the heroes live! Klaw's story really happened! Doom decides he must let the power rise and destroy the heroes once more! The moment he pulls on the Beyonder's might, however, the power runs amok and lashes out in every direction, covering half the Battleworld in a cataclysmic aura of pure energy. Doom manages to grasp the power at the last moment, preventing himself from unmaking reality, and admits that the power ran wild - his mind is churning, his thoughts racing, which makes it difficult to keep control.
Klaw says Doom just needs to relax, and proposes a solution - he'll take out the heroes in Doom's stead! Doom should just give Klaw a bit of his power, and he'll use it to take down the heroes while Doom takes it easy! Doom agrees, offering his finger to Klaw, and he infuses an iota of the Beyonder's power into the idiot clown. An infinitesimal sliver of the whole, but enough to blot out ten-thousand suns - or a few dozen superheroes. He commands Klaw to go, while he tries to contain his power once more, and compose himself.
At that moment the resurrected heroes arrive en masse at the tower, just as Mjolnir makes its way to Thor's side. Having witnessed the spectacular outpouring of energy when Doom briefly lost control, they're even more determined to take him on - and at the forefront stand Captain America, broken shield in his hand. Spider-Man's senses suddenly go into overdrive, and he warns that something wickedly dangerous is heading their way, and the Captain declares they should be ready for anything. 'Anything' turns out to be a gigantic three-eyed purple behemoth that towers over the heroes, which suddenly appeared out of nowhere. As the heroes take it on, Klaw watches from nearby, amazed to discover that instead of just images and sounds, he can now make real things! He's going to make a whole army of weird creatures…!
First, though, he should remake something else! He conjures up Ultron out of nothing, just as alive as any robot could be. Klaw declares that he used to be Doom's bodyguard, but he's getting a promotion - he's not the Captain of Doom's army! His mission is to wipe out the heroes, and his army will consist of… well, he'll see in a minute. He can go ahead and get started. Ultron declares he needs no army and rushes off. Klaw says he's getting one anyway, and starts conjuring up all sorts of crazy critters - a menagerie of the familiar and unfamiliar, from blue furry bigfoots to knockoff skull-crawlers, from frog-bat-rodent monstrosities to mechanical pterosaurs. Soon the heroes clash with this impromptu army, and beams and vicious melee-strikes go in every direction as the landscape is reduced to a warzone.
A blue monkey-like creature attacks the Thing, who suddenly finds himself reverting to Ben Grimm again mid-battle, much to his dismay. She-Hulk runs up to help him out, but Ben refuses to be taken down in this embarrassing way, and declares it's not going to happen - he won't let it! Quite suddenly Ben stops the transformation and turns back into the Thing, smashing the blue creature away with his super-strength. She-Hulk is amazed that he reversed the change, wondering since when he is able to do that. Ben admits that he couldn't, but he just did! Ever since he came to Battleworld he's been flip-flopping back and forth, so it must be something about this world - but now he can finally control it! He can feel it! He starts tearing up at the thought. She-Hulk isn't sure what to say, and Ben tells her to just keep clobbering. Heh.
Elsewhere on the battlefield Hulk takes on Ultron, punching the robot into the side of Doom's tower and successfully damaging it. In retaliation the robot blast a beam back at Hulk and hits him in the ankle, shattering it. Spider-Woman, Iron Man, and the Wasp arrive to back him up, with the latter warning the others not to grapple Ultron, since he's too strong - advice which comes too late, as the other two are blown back. Ultron throws around some more of his beam attacks, forcing the heroes to retreat, until he suddenly starts sparking and blowing up. Iron Man figures his warranty must have expired, but soon enough Wasp appears out of the robot's mouth, revealing that she used her size-changing to sneak inside through the damage Hulk caused, and then just started yanking wires...
More monsters pour out to face the heroes, who soon find themselves overwhelmed by furry Hulk-analogues, insect-men, enormous mud-golems, and any number of other creatures. Captain America decides that it's a hopeless fight, and they need to get past these catspaws to get at the actual threat, Doom! Klaw actually takes part in the battle now, proclaiming himself Klaw the Mighty! Cap isn't impressed, and bowls Klaw off his feet with a hefty kick. He then uses the opportunity to slip into the door of the tower, leaving Doom's minion behind. Klaw gets to his feet in his wake, and declares: 'Perfect-erfect-erfect…'
Seconds later, deep inside the tower, Cap rushes into Doom's office to find the man sitting in much the same place as last time, leaning back in his lazy chair while drinking from a chalice. Doom acknowledges that if anyone would make it this far, it surely would be Captain America. He declares it doesn't matter, since there's nothing Cap can actually do to harm him, as there's no way a mere mortal can conquer someone who is omnipotent. Cap points out that Doom managed to defeat the Beyonder just recently which rather defeats his point, and Doom wouldn't have felt the need to destroy the heroes unless he was afraid they might manage it. Doom says he's heard enough, and tells Cap he will not conquer Doom! He then channels his power, unleashing the lid on his cosmic power a little until he's engulfed in a nimbus of power once more. Klaw watches on from nearby, an eerie alien glow in his eyes…
Cap rushes towards Doom, ready to shield-bash a god in the face, but gets instantly and utterly vaporized for his trouble. 'Die, Avenger!' Doom declares as Cap vanishes in a puff of ashes.
He was atomized this time, gone forever! Doom decides it's finished, and goes to calm his raging soul, to restore order to his thoughts before the random spillage of his power caused by his inner unrest might cause… the unthinkable! Looking up, Doom is horrified to realize that his subconscious has already recreated his foe - Captain America once more rushes towards him! He raises his hand once more, vaporizing Cap again - only for him to reform within moments! As Cap lashes out with his fist, Doom cries out in fear and collapses to the floor, overcome by his raging inner demons.
Captain America realizes something strange is going on when Doom crumbles before he's even touched. He's evidently unaware he's died and was remade twice in the past few seconds. He realizes that Doom is fighting another battle on the inside to control his endless power, and Cap consider that winning his fight might have lead Doom to lose the other - and doom the entire universe! Cap calls out to Doom, telling the man that he's losing touch with the universe, and he needs some sort of anchor. He then offers his hand, much to Doom's shock, and tells Doom to take it before it's too late. 'Too late?' Klaw wonders, his eyes glowing. 'No, the time is just right…'
The glow in Klaw's eyes rushes out of him, turning into a cloud of pure energy, revealed as the shimmering radiance of the once-omnipotent Beyonder himself. Before Doom can gather himself again, and before Cap can help him, the Beyonder savagely reclaims his power from its thief, leaving Doom unconscious in his wake.
Klaw wakes up from his stupor to realize what he's done, and immediately apologizes to Doom for setting up the situation, explaining that he was under the Beyonder's control. His master can't hear him. The Beyonder, omnipotent once more, picks up Doom's body as he did when dissecting him, and reverts him to the way he was before the Secret Wars began, reforming his classic armor and cape, and reattaching a familiar iron mask over a ravaged face. Klaw pushes an astonished Cap out of the way to be with his master, and in that instant the Beyonder vanishes into nothing, taking Doom and Klaw with him. In their wake remains only a puff of smoke...
Cap departs from the tower to find that the other heroes drove Klaw's creatures away, and everyone's alright. What happened in there? Cap says he'll explain the whole story later, but for the moment they should just know… it's all over. They should head back to Doombase, and conclude some important business. That includes burying Zsaji, who did indeed die as per Klaw's story. Colossus grieves over her grave, and when Nightcrawler asks the man if he's coming, and it's Wolverine who drags the devilish mutant away to leave Colossus in peace.
Inside Doombase, Reed immediately goes to find a way to get everyone home, and tells the rest to just take it easy until he's finished. Spider-Man goes for a snack, raiding an alien pantry for some fruit - though he's not sure why they all look like eggplant in this place. He muses that at the moment, if he were offered the choice between world peace or a Big Mac, he wouldn't know what to pick. He uses his new suit's ability to retract from his face, quite happy about all its nifty features. He then tracks down the sound of voices, figuring maybe people are watching television nearby.
He stumbles into the room with the costume-making machine, where Storm and Professor X have picked up their earlier discussion about leadership. Storm notes that with the crisis over, back on Earth she'll be reclaiming leadership over the team. Xavier agrees, but then immediately backtracks by explaining that with his legs back, he sees no reason why he can't occasionally assume a more active combat leadership role. As such, he figures he should be appropriate attired! It seems the X-Men took the opportunity to put on some new clothes, most of which are pretty awful. Storm muses that Xavier still thinks of this all as a game, but he should remember there are lives on the line.
Spider-Man is a bit puzzled that everyone is gathered around a different machine than the one he used to make his costume. He calls out to one of them, wondering if their new duds have fancy tricks like his, like responding to their thoughts? Johnny shakes his head, noting they're just clothes. Spidey questions why his own are so different… Ah, probably not important, right?
Meanwhile, in Reed's lab, Hulk is laid out with a metal leg brace attached to his broken leg. It seems his gamma-laden body doesn't work well with the local healing pods, and he'd short them all out. As such he'll have to make do with more primitive methods until he heals naturally. Reed also hands the Hulk an enormous crutch to support his huge body, which should tide him over.
Hawkeye meets Hulk in the hallways, noting that Reed has fixed him up good - and he helped Hawkeye get some new arrows! What a guy! When Hulk snarls at him, Hawkeye wonders if the Hulk is reverting to his savage personality entirely, since he's been getting angrier all the time over the last few days. Maybe it's time to get even more arrows? Maybe even some heavy-duty ones! (One track mind, this one.)
Later, a mysterious one-armed man stumbles into a room full of relaxing heroes, awkwardly greeting them. It'd Doctor Curt Connors, the human identity of the Lizard! Spider-Man rushes over to ask what happened, and Connors explained that he found himself waking up a few miles away, unsure how he got there - but he does know the Lizard persona was sucked out of him - it's gone! He saw this fortress and figured he'd go look for civilization, and the doors all opened for him like magic, as if they knew he wanted in! Nightcrawler observes it's lucky that Connors made his way back to them before they all departed for Earth, or he'd have been stranded here! Speaking of, Storm wishes Lockheed the Dragon would return, and as if summoned the creature flies into the room, accompanied by a second tiny dragon!
Cap observes that some really amazing and unlikely things are happening, and Reed arrives to explain why - it's the same reason that his lab experiments have been going so well. This wish-fulfillment phenomenon they're all experiencing is caused by the after-effects of Doom spilling power all over the place earlier, charging the planet itself with residual cosmic energy that strongly reacts to people's desires, their subconscious will. Like lucky fallout! Cap hears this and heads off, a man with a mission…
Later, in a dimly lit room, Captain America gathers the remains of his trusty shield, shattered by Doom's divine retribution. The shield was the product of a freak metallurgic accident, a disc of unknown composition and with unique properties, impervious to any force which humans can comprehend. It lies before him like a wounded friend, now - how many times has it saved his life? He closes his eyes, and wishes. The shield's usefulness is at its end, since no furnace could reforge it, no blacksmith repair it. Unless, by force of will, by sheer desire… he can accomplish the impossible! Cap opens his eyes, and before him lies his shield, once more intact!
A short time later, on the barren wastes outside Doombase, Reed explains how they're getting home. They'll be using the same construct that the Beyonder used to get here in the first place - the flying space stations from the first issue. He'll send it back to Central Park again, but from there each of them will be teleported to whatever location they focus on. They'll have to go in small groups, so the first to go are Spider-Man, Spider-Woman, the Hulk, Dr. Connors, and Magneto. Spidey wonders why Magneto isn't going with his buddies the X-Men, but he says for the moment he must move alone.
With the first group away, it's the X-Men's turn, but Colossus refuses to go. Professor X notes that it may seem unfair, but Zsaji is dead, and not even Reed's machines can revive her - at some point dead really is dead, and she passed that point bringing him back. All that remains now is the question of whether he will let her death destroy him, thereby wasting her sacrifice. Colossus cries at the injustice, but reluctantly comes along. The X-Men gather together and Reed goes to hit the button, when at the last moment the second tiny dragon swoop in to join them. A huge explosion occurs, and Johnny points out that did not look good. Reed admits that it was a bit violent, and hopes it won't interfere with their materialization back on Earth… Still, at least the device still works, so the rest of them can get out. Cold, man!
The Avengers are next, and Cap wonders where She-Hulk is. She's actually with the Thing, and declares that she's taking his place on the Fantastic Four! Reed is shocked when Ben explains that he's not going back - not yet. But since he figured the team would need someone strong to bail them out of trouble, she asked She-Hulk to fill in for him. He explains that there's something about Battleworld that lets him turn back and forth from rocky to human, and he's been dreaming for that for years. Johnny explains that he has nothing and nobody on this planet, but Ben just says he's got himself, and before he goes back to a place where he can't be the real him, he wants to do some thinking. Reed can just leave him the gizmo that sends them home, so he can return when he's ready.
Soon enough the Avengers teleport out, leaving only the Fantastic Four behind. Reed tries to convince Ben one last time, but his mind is set. Reed reluctantly agrees, but thinks to himself that he believes the real reason for Ben's transformations has nothing to do with this planet - but it's the kind of thing that might shatter a man. It's best he discover the truth himself, slowly, or that it stays hidden forever. Ben says they should get the show on the road, and hits the button. Reed tells him not to lose the device, or… He's gone. Ben decides Reed's a nice guy, but a bit of a worrywart, but he'll be fine by his lonesome. But what was it that F.D.R. once said, again? 'There ain't nuthin' to fear…?'
Fin.
Rating & Comments
The grand finale is here and it… spends half its running time on either exposition, weird tangents about the Enchantress, or epilogue scenes. Uh, alright then - I guess we got lucky that it's 50% longer than the other issues, then! It makes me appreciate the structure of Game of Thrones' early seasons a bit more - getting the climax in episode 9 leaves a nice final episode to tie up loose ends and foreshadow what is to come, rather than having to do everything in a single go, probably rushing much of it just to fit within the expected run-time. With at least two or three issues full of filler in this storyline, it feels rather poorly planned to make the final issue pull a whole bunch of weight like this.
For an example here, the finale to Colossus story arc, which was kind of baffling from the start but got rather a lot of screen time across these twelve issues, is essentially finished off by getting told she died by Klaw, then like two panels of Colossus sitting at her grave, then the other X-Men telling him to get his ass moving because she's dead. Johnny Storm, who had a fling with her within days of her death, evidently doesn't give a toss, and doesn't even get a single panel addressing his relationship. The last word from him is, evidently, calling her a whore! Similarly, we get a hand-waved finale to Magneto's arc, with him just leaving the X-Men behind without any apparent discussion. The villains head home, but the last we see of them they're still within Battleworld's solar system without a clear way home, save for Molecule Man eventually figuring out his powers. It feels like these sorts of thing would have been addressed in an epilogue-type issue, but we never got that.
Another part that points to the rushed nature of this issue is Enchantress and the exposition elemental. After nobody has any idea who or what the Beyonder is, and everything being super-mysterious for eleven issues, suddenly this completely unmentioned character shows up through random magic, and starts delivering explanations for the entire Secret Wars at the last possible moment. There's no reason this character would know about an extra-dimensional being, what its intentions might be, or any details about his plan to pit people against each other to study their desires. Sure, elements of this could be deduced from Secret Wars #10 during Doom's dissection scene, but there's no reason this would randomly be known to a water spirit Enchantress pulled out of a bath! It feels incredibly lazy, and it seems like all this backstory of the Beyonder would have been a much better thing to spend time on in this series than Lizard and Wasp chatting in a swamp, or Professor X being a douchebag to people, or anything at all regarding Zsaji.
I'm not sure why the Enchantress got quite so much coverage here since most of the rest of Secret Wars she just hung around being either lazy, drunk, or annoying. Here she finally claims that favor Volcana owed her, justifying it with the weirdest logic - she knows that Doom intends to free a soul from Mephisto, so clearly this means Asgard is in danger. I'm not sure Amora is terribly welcome in Asgard, and she's worked against its interest often enough, so I'm not sure what she's thinking. A more clever part of the whole encounter is Lizard following her teleport to Battleworld, and then getting drained of his life-force by a blinded Enchantress, who evidently never notices that with the Lizard's life removed, Dr. Curt Connors is left behind in the dust. It's convenient, but I suppose the whole 'wish-fulfillment planet' thing helps with that.
Now, that said, I don't actually mind the explanation given for the Beyonder here. It would be retconned to all hell in the future, but for the moment he is relatively simple in concept: a being from a universe or multiverse in which he is everything - the ultimate deistic god, one that never bothered creating anything else at all. His interest in the desires of 'incomplete' beings explains the Secret Wars, plus the Beyonder's relative childishness and lack of understanding may explain why he started such a simplistic good-versus-evil type conflict, and why he seemed so cluelessly interested by Doom's body in Secret Wars #10, as if he'd never studied one before. The implication of all of this, I believe, is that the Beyonder is a being that cannot understand desire because he's capable of granting any wish, including all of his own, and you can't really want something if you already have it. What I suppose he does lack is subconscious desires, which is why his powers do not run amok when he's using them, but overwhelm other people, even ones with incredible mental control.
Doctor Doom's struggle with the Beyonder's powers is foreshadowed when he first gains the cosmic might of Galactus, and briefly finds himself warping reality without meaning to. He quickly clamps down on his iron will and takes the reins of that power, but it's an infinitesimal amount of power compared to the Beyonder's, so it's a bad sign that he has any amount of trouble at all with it. It's interesting that Doom's issue with controlling his might is exactly as he described it to Captain America in Secret Wars #11 - Captain America seemed to distrust Doom's description of why he kept his power suppressed there, but he was being entirely truthful. I have a sneaking suspicion that all those paintings and busts of Cynthia von Doom showing up everywhere may have been the result of a bit of subconscious spillage already, honestly - at home, even Doom is not quite that tacky. One glorious painting of himself is quite enough!
How much the strain of controlling his subconscious is affecting Doom becomes apparent by how often he seeks to rest, and how his judgment becomes impaired over time. Early on he seems to be quite willful with his decisions and goes around performing miracles, but by this issue he uses his powers for a single act before suppressing them again, fearful he might do other things without meaning to. He starts relying on Klaw more than he normally would, seemingly not noticing the increasingly out-of-character behavior of his minion, until there comes a point where Klaw proposes taking some of Doom's power, and he goes along with it because he's too exhausted to come up with an alternative. In the end Doom collapses before he can even be hit by Captain America, too caught up in his own mind to focus on what's in front of him, incapable of controlling himself or his subconscious and letting his power rage out of control.
The Beyonder's plan in this issue, carried out through the means of Klaw, is honestly quite brilliant. Aware of the way his powers work off someone's desires, subconscious or otherwise, he manipulates Doom into the exact mind state that he desires. Like telling someone not to think of an elephant, he puts the concept of the heroes' survival in his head, and subconsciously he makes it the truth, presumably when he starts rationalizing that heroes do have a nasty habit of popping back up. His seemingly absolute belief that Captain America would naturally find a way to reach him seems especially relevant, since he unwittingly recreates Cap several times, seemingly unable to squash that particular belief before it can be rendered real. Klaw's hypothetical story is ludicrously contrived, of course, but the point was that Doom would accept it as a possibility, and that was all that was necessary. All the Beyonder needed is for Doom to give it a thought… and in so doing engineer his own downfall. Out of everything this issue does, I think that finale is the most clever.
This issue feels a bit like it's marking off check-boxes, especially towards the end - Spider-Man finds out there's something weird about his costume and shrugs it off in the same shot that the X-Men suddenly get new and hideous costumes, including an awful yellow onesie for Professor X. The Hulk ends up with a leg-brace and heavy-duty walking stick at the last moment, presumably because they already established he ended up with those in Secret Wars, and never figured out a good way to work that into an earlier issue. Curt Connors shows up to quickly fix the random presence of the Lizard in continuity, since he was already cured of his condition before Secret Wars and turned back by the Beyonder. Lockheed randomly shows up with a friend, Cap fixes his shield, and then Reed invents a cross-universal teleporter overnight because we need a way off this rock. (Leaving aside the fact he cured death in this issue already…) None of those are terrible engaging scenes, but I guess they're all obligatory to reset continuity or to make sure things match up with what's happening in other books. Meh.
In conclusion, this issue's wrap-up of Doom's downfall and the Secret Wars in general is not bad, and the Beyonder's backstory makes sense, even if it's delivered in the most dry possible way, through random exposition by an unknown character. The issue leaves a lot of threads dangling though, even as it desperately tries to plug all the holes it can. We never learn the fate of Battleworld as a whole and all the people kidnapped to be on it - I presume there are more people there than one random village of aliens and a chunk of Denver, and I believe later Thing comics would confirm that. We get elaborate detail on how Cap fixes his shield, but we never do see the USS Suburbia arrive home, or learn why the X-Men decided to become terrible dressers at the last moment. I'm gonna have to go with an average 3 on this one - one 4-star scene with a bunch of mediocre stuff around it isn't really worth more than a decent score, I think.
Where Are They Now? (A Post-Secret Wars Wrap-Up)
Just to give you some idea of what happens to everyone after Secret Wars is over and done with: The Avengers head home to Central Park in New York, and are welcomed back by a bunch of their colleagues in Avengers v1 #243, who just an hour before held a rather awkward press conference about their absence. Vision came off as an idiot in that - there's clearly something wrong with that guy! Also the West Coast Avengers are announced here, the first time there would be two Avengers teams rather than just the one. The X-Men would reappear in Uncanny X-Men v1 #181, but due to the explosion induced by the second miniature dragon, they would end up in Japan rather than Central Park. The dragon they took along promptly turns into a giant monster, which Japan seems rather ready for - kids start trying to identify the thing, the military reports that all the monsters from Monster Island are accounted for, and they wonder what the thing is doing here during monster 'off-season.' Some things are universal, I guess.
The Hulk returns to his own series in Incredible Hulk v1 #295 rather more savage than he left, and discovers someone's been using a gamma-based treatment to cure people's cancer without checking for side-effects first. The people end up with green skin but seemingly okay - but then one of them starts going feral. Spider-Man would show up in his new black suit in Amazing Spider-Man v1 #252 with Curt Connors in tow. The cops don't recognize the black Spidey and immediately try to shoot him - I'll leave any jokes one might want to crack about the situation to the reader. He'd eventually get the costume examined by Reed in Amazing Spider-Man v1 #258, coming through on his promise in Secret Wars. The new Spider-Woman would show up again in Uncanny X-Men #206 as a member of Freedom Force, the rebranded Brotherhood of Evil Mutants under government control. Yeah, it's a thing.
The three members of the Fantastic Four - with She-Hulk tagging along instead of the Thing - return in Fantastic Four v1 #265 and are met by Alicia Masters and Sue Storm. The latter quite suddenly and painfully discharges energy, which is determined to be the result of her unusual pregnancy, and they rush her to the hospital. There, two issues later, she would lose the child to complications despite all efforts to help her, including getting Bruce Banner and even Doctor Octopus involved - they pull the latter straight out of the asylum Molecule Man put him in. The Thing, meanwhile, would remain on Battleworld from Thing #11-#22 and return to Earth in Fantastic Four v1 #277 to discover that Johnny Storm of all people is now dating Alicia Masters. Actually it's a Skrull pretending to be her, but that isn't revealed for years - it's complicated. Ben blames Reed for keeping silent about the real cause of his difficulty transforming (related to his love for Alicia) which eventually caused him to lose the ability altogether due to events on Battleworld in his own book. He would remain estranged from the team all the way until Fantastic Four v1 #296, presumably so he could be back in time for the anniversary.
The Beyonder, the Absorbing Man, Klaw, Molecule Man, Titania, Volcana and the Wrecker would all next appear during the events of Secret Wars II, which they probably want to forget. It's a pretty dreadful series, especially the tie-ins. Ultron makes an appearance in Thing #20 on Battleworld, which makes sense since I'm pretty sure he's got a couple broken version of himself littering the place. The Enchantress shows up in Thor v1 #350, so I guess she made it home in one piece too! The Wrecking Crew would show up again in Marvel Age Annual #1, a humorous affair which also contains the charming three-page special titled: 'Quotations of Chairman Doom', which is pretty much what it says on the tin. The proper next appearance is, I believe, in Avengers v1 #273. Zsaji would stay inside Secret Wars, though the grief her death caused would affect Colossus for a while.
And what of Doctor Doom? As a character who is now effectively dead twice-over, it's best to just keep reading this read-through, and we'll get to that whole complicated affair in due time.
In 2010, a Marvel Adventures all-ages non-canonical miniseries titled Spider-Man & the Secret Wars was released. It tells the story from Spider-Man's perspective and features major discrepancies with the original event. These include him receiving the Beyonder's power and creating 'New Parker City', Spider-Man and the Thing spying on Doom, and a story featuring Spider-Man's suspicions concerning the Hulk. It's likely I'll eventually cover this, though maybe just as a minor appearance.
In 2015, as part of the modern day Secret Wars, Deadpool's Secret Secret Wars was released. This four-issue miniseries retells the events of the original miniseries from Deadpool's point of view and fixes inconsistencies with the original and later events. Among these was the Wasp and Magneto's sudden one-night stand in Secret Wars #3, and the purpose of the Secret Shields from the original toy line that never show up in the comics. It was ultimately revealed that the Wasp, out of either disgust or regret after seeing Deadpool's cancer-ridden body, accidentally caused everyone to forget his entire involvement in the storyline, thus creating the various inconsistencies. As a character who debuted in 1991, I am impressed that he could make it to the Secret Wars at all!
Afterthoughts about Secret Wars
After twelve full issues of one of the first mega-crossovers in comic book history, I have to admit that it's rather different than I expected. I knew about Doctor Doom gaining godhood, of course, I'd read issue #10 before on its own and got rather intrigued. This is the first time I've delved into in detail, and it's astonishing how much of it is spent on subjects that seem so utterly unrelated to basically anything. My favorite aspects include, naturally, the entirety of Doom's storyline, but they also include smaller things: I liked the recurring gag of Hawkeye constantly complaining about running out of arrows and making new ones out of random sticks because he's gone through all his high-tech ones and he doesn't have access to replacements. It even gets a capstone joke in the final issue! Absorbing Man is a hoot through the first half of this series, and gets some of the best jokes, period. Captain America goes from lackluster to genuinely cool towards the end, especially that moment when he's been killed three times in the same day and still offers his murderer a helping hand. I also liked the Lizard's ridiculous plot-line, though he came off as pretty out of character.
On a more neutral note, I appreciated the new characters introduced in this series - both Titania and Volcana have their own appeal, with the former impressing early on through her sheer power and viciousness, and Volcana proving to be the more loyal and reasonable of the two, although she does get rather whiny when it comes to Molecule Man. I'm still puzzled why Secret Wars repeatedly felt the need to make pejorative references to Volcana's weight when none of the panels actually make her look fat - and even if she was, it still comes off as pointlessly cruel. Woman can melt Iron Man suits on the regular, do we really need to go around calling her 'filthy fatbag'? Speaking of Molecule Man - this series actually made him seem impressive and dangerous rather than just kind of ridiculous, which is tough to pull off when he's a bit of a dweeb. You'd think the other villains would learn to lay off after the first time he threw a mountain range, though. Magneto's place among the heroes is intriguing and gets a bit of exploration, but almost all his development is in one issue, and he does have that sexual assault thing counting against him...
On the bad end, as one might expect, is the Colossus/Johnny/Szaji subplot, and even the implication that Zsaji's healing abilities caused people to fall in love with her doesn't really make the entire subplot any more appealing or interesting. It took up way more time than it should have. Hulk spends a lot of time whining and getting his ass kicked, but does at least get a standout moment. Professor X keeps showcasing that he's an asshole, and doesn't really resolve anything by the end of the series - presumably this nonsense continues in his own title. Spider-Woman proves to be pretty pointless as an inclusion. Thor is almost entirely irrelevant despite being a god in a series about Doom becoming a god. Klaw is an annoying plot device. Ultron gets utterly devalued, since he's beaten in succession by Galactus, then Johnny Storm, then Wasp. Speaking of, the Wasp has a weird sexual assault moment with Magneto, spends half the series just sort of hanging out off-panel, in a swamp, or dead, and then returns in the last moment to do little more than take out a threat that by now has been thoroughly trivialized. Wonderful.
Final considerations, then - this series is worth a read, but definitely less impressive than its reputation may suggest, with some less than stellar issues and story-lines, and a very noticeable slump in the middle, before the series gets to its epic finale. The overall plot was well-planned and interesting, with the final confrontation being less about punching and kicking things than conquering one's own inner demons. The Beyonder was always pretty much a plot device anyway, so Doom always was the man to beat, as he should be. But then, I'd say that, wouldn't I?
It's my view that Doom was ultimately brought low because in his heart of hearts, there's something he desires besides power. That's why he brought the heroes back from the dead, resurrected from the ashes. It's a foible that seems common among overpowered characters who don't know what to do with themselves. Four words.
He needed worthy opponents. (I'm not sorry.)
Best Panel(s) of the Issue
I absolutely love some of the monster designs in this issue, but nothing more than this panel with the furry Hulk-analogue and the other bizarre critters around it. I'm told that this may have something to do with reserve inkers that filled in some of the work to get it done on time, including Art Adams, whose style is apparently pretty distinctive.
Most Gloriously Divine Doom Quotes
"Now, once again, I shall draw the power in… contain it… seal it up safely within the depths of my being! Lest in a careless moment, a casual flick of my little finger might blacken a star system, or wipe out an intergalactic civilization. Lest, like Vishnu, 'I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.' This universe is too fragile."
"This is madness! I must drive these thoughts, these doubts, from my mind! They are dead! Dead! Dead! And yet… how many times in the past have I thought that Reed Richards was dead? And if there were one man who might overcome the odds… is it not Captain America? No. No!"
"Die, Avenger! ...He's atomized! Gone Forever! It is finished! Over! Now, now I must calm the raging storm in my soul! Bring order to my thoughts - lest the random spillage of power cosmic caused by my unrest - cause the unthinkable! Oh… No… No! You - you must die - and stay dead! DIE! No! No… No… No-o-o!"
Doom's Bad Hair Day
Can i just nominate whatever abomination this is? The X-Men get some garish costumes in general, but Xavier's get-up takes the cake here. Canary-yellow, seriously?
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This was great to see analyzed.
It's weird how I never remember Zsaji's plotline from secret wars. I also don't buy that they couldn't revive her given how little explanation there was as why why they can't and how most of the heroes had mangled bodies but still got revived. I know that that only happened due to Doom's subconscious thoughts and Beyonder!Klaw egging him on, but with Battleworld bathed in wishing energy in the aftermath that was helping to fulfill desires, then wouldn't it have been possible to revive her if they wanted it hard enough? Colossus sure did.
On that note, it's now my headcanon that Reed's machine that got everyone home partially ran on that desire energy, which he may or may not have known. It might explain why the second dragon going in with the X-men interfered with the destination, as its desires on where to go got mixed with their own.
I'll note that there are a few Happy Ending Overrides in the epilogues. Namely Ben, Reed and Sue, and maybe Hulk. It's not uncommon in comics by any measure given how long the stories have been going on and how many writers have left their mark, but it still stings a bit every time I see it.
It's weird how I never remember Zsaji's plotline from secret wars. I also don't buy that they couldn't revive her given how little explanation there was as why why they can't and how most of the heroes had mangled bodies but still got revived. I know that that only happened due to Doom's subconscious thoughts and Beyonder!Klaw egging him on, but with Battleworld bathed in wishing energy in the aftermath that was helping to fulfill desires, then wouldn't it have been possible to revive her if they wanted it hard enough? Colossus sure did.
On that note, it's now my headcanon that Reed's machine that got everyone home partially ran on that desire energy, which he may or may not have known. It might explain why the second dragon going in with the X-men interfered with the destination, as its desires on where to go got mixed with their own.
I'll note that there are a few Happy Ending Overrides in the epilogues. Namely Ben, Reed and Sue, and maybe Hulk. It's not uncommon in comics by any measure given how long the stories have been going on and how many writers have left their mark, but it still stings a bit every time I see it.
Just two I think. The first dead Ultron wasn't destroyed, just had its battery drained, but then Doom reprogrammed and recharged it.
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I'm just going by the dictionary definition of the word, since I don't actually know it. It's used (again) to describe the female dragon that Lockheed picks up in the final issue, so make up your own mind I guess? The Dictionary!
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What, I wonder, can convince a man to undertake such an in depth, long term, tricky undertaking for no reward? One's own satisfaction?
I've looked through this thread a couple of times but never really given it the attention or thought it deserves. It's a very impressive project for a one man show, so keep up the good work I guess.
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Also, all glory to Doom.
I've looked through this thread a couple of times but never really given it the attention or thought it deserves. It's a very impressive project for a one man show, so keep up the good work I guess.
Rating:
Also, all glory to Doom.
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I have no idea? I kinda wish there were similar topics for other characters, but if the thing you desire doesn't exist - might as well make it happen yourself. Your description of 'tricky' will get more relevant with time, as we get into times when multiple storylines come out concurrently, and I have to disentangle which comes first, and how these things fit together without contradiction. Sometimes they just... don't. Writers, man.
Thanks for the kind words, man. Like Doom himself, I must rule my fiefdom, fight my enemies, and conquer my demons... alone.
I think there's an official reading order somewhere?
Not for Doom specifically, but for Marvel in general; I know a tumblr that's going through the entirety of Marvel since FF#1, and they keep mentioning it.
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Yeah, the funny thing about those reading orders is that once you start following them, you realize that you either have to go with a variant of release order to keep some sort of sense of retcons and the ongoing storylines... or you have to go with the chronological order, which means jumping all over the place and just kind of accepting that nothing connects coherently. I'm not sure there's any one order which doesn't have its own peculiar issues, so I end up kind of generating my own based on what seems to make the most sense...
Also it doesn't help that most orders miss out on particular appearances, usually the ones that were tough to order to begin with. Everyone can keep the Fanfastic Four issues ordered by number, but good luck fitting in the weird crossover event tie-ins!
100: Beauty and the Beast #1-4
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100: Beauty and the Beast #1 - #4 (December 1984 - June 1985)
Cover
You might be wondering why I'm covering four comics in one go like this, instead of going one-by-one like usual. Part of that is practical - Doctor Doom would probably only qualify as a minor appearance in three out of these four comics, and I've handled that sort of situation before by including summaries of the previous largely Doom-less issues where necessary. Part of is expedience - I don't want to spend more time than necessary on these issues because they are about characters I generally don't care for. And part… part is just that I want this over with, because if I ever have to read a bunch of twaddle like this again I might kidnap some people and set up my own Secret Wars just to get some entertainment.
For the moment, I should evaluate the covers. They're… alright. The first one is kind of misleading with the giant Doom-mask in an issue that contains very little actual Doom, but otherwise they represent the story well - in as much as you can represent something that's crappy 'well' in any real sense. You can tell I'm salty. This is the 100th entry? This is the anniversary post? Bah! It is an affront to the name of Doom.
Story Overview
#1
We start off promising: in the heart of Latveria, Castle Doom. We see Doom in his inner sanctum, the art gallery that lies at the center of his domain, away from prying eyes. Only the worthy may gaze upon its wonders - which means it is open only to Victor von Doom. Only here can he escape, however briefly, the onus of ruling this little Balkan country. (Guess where Latveria is today, kids!) Doom declares that if he didn't have this room, filled with priceless works of art, he would forget entirely that on rare occasions man is indeed capable of creating great works. He looks at a sculpture depicting a man trying to tame a horse, and declares it beautiful - man struggles to control the beast - as it should be! Few men can control the beast within... So few. Alas, all men were not created equal.
Doom turns political as he decides that America, the cursed land that birthed his arch-enemies, the Fantastic Four, bases its whole political system on the misguided concept that people are equal. A true ruler, he decides, lets the masses know what's best for them, and they obey in earnest. He's suddenly interrupted when a light turns on that signals he's got a call waiting. Who dares interrupt Doom? He walks outside to meet a messenger, who declares that he has received a transmission which concerns the one... who claims to be Doom's son! Doom is annoyed that he was interrupted in his solitude to be reminded of him.
He's a base liar who affronts Doom with his heresy that Doom's blood flows through his veins, he declares, and it's a lie fostered by his wretched mother many years ago. Doom thinks back many years to a time when a woman claimed that he had sired her boy, but was unable to tell Doom since he was away from the country for so many years. Doom refused the claim outright, and had the woman and her son exiled from his kingdom, telling them they should be glad to keep their lives. As they left, Doom mused to himself that he should lead his people, confront his enemies, and pursue his destiny alone. There was no plan for a son. In modern day, Doom learns that his supposed heir has become something of a big name in California, and decides to pay closer attention to his activities in that 'infantile dreamland.'
Meanwhile in Los Angeles, the Beast has taken time off from the Defenders to take a vacation and visit his friends Simon Williams and Dazzler. Beast is particularly worried about Dazzler since she outed herself as a mutant recently. When he travels into the city proper and finds that her last venue has closed down and posters of her last performance were vandalized with anti-mutant epitaphs, he finds that his concerns were well founded. He does take a moment to observe Dazzler sure is pretty, though! Incidentally, the way Beast is written in this era is so unlike the one I'm familiar with that it's kind of giving me whiplash. Times have changed!
That night, Allison (Dazzler) herself is at a Hollywood party in a mansion owned by Alexander Flynn. Flynn approaches Dazzler and tells her that he is a big fan, and offers her a singing gig as part of his "Underground Theatre." She initially refuses for fear that the audience would react negatively to the fact that she is a mutant, however Flynn assures her that it is safe, declaring he won't take no for an answer. She goes for an audition held by the theatre's owner Hugo Longride, a rather creepy fellow, who is impressed with her signing prowess and has her sign a contract immediately, pushing her through it without reading all the details. Soon after Flynn begins taking Dazzler out to many Hollywood parties, convincing her to take up drinking once more and creating a media frenzy that lists the once proud musician as a 'queen of decadence' in the papers. As the days progress, Alison is shocked to find that she is slowly losing control of her powers, and when she confronts Flynn about her negative press, he just tells her not to worry about their lies.
At a wrap up party at a studio, Dazzler talks with Max Rocker, an aggressive member of the theatre she joined - and an anthropomorphic horse. He's a mutant with literal horse-face, basically, and I'm pretty sure he has hooves, too! Allison is shocked to learn that all the members of the theatre are mutants. Attending the party are Wonder Man and Beast, and when Henry recognizes Dazzler, he doesn't like the way that Max Rocker is talking to her and approaches the two of them. Max isn't actually saying anything offensive, but Beast sure is - he starts talking about 'taking off the ugly mask' as if he didn't realize the man's a mutant!
The two almost come to blows when Longride shows up to break it up. He secretly asks Max if he completed his 'job' and Max confirms that the 'valuable property' is primed and ready. Hugo then makes a quip that Alison and Hank are 'Beauty and the Beast' which angers Hank again.
He tries to take a shot at the theater owner, however Alison quickly talks him out of it - Beast takes it as confirmation that she's with the 'sicko crowd.' She leaves with Hugo and his cohorts, dropping her purse behind when she realizes her powers are acting up again. Watching them go, Beast is convinced something suspicious is going on, however Wonder Man cautions his friend to be careful because Hugo Longride has a pretty bad reputation.
Suddenly, Alison's powers spike out of control causing the girl to flee through the streets as she shines brightly without meaning to. Hugo sends one of his men to tail her, noting she's 'valuable property' which is quite the phrase for a human being, eh? When the news about Alison's disappearance hits the newspapers, Beast decides to go out looking for her, thinking that Hugo and his goons had something to do with it. Tracking Max back to his home, which is filled with horse and centaur figurines because of course it is, the two end up fighting, Beast demanding where he took Dazzler. Max reveals that he can fight - he's a professional fighter! As their battle rages, Alison herself has gone to the beach and let her powers finally go out of control, and soon she falls into the ocean. She is then rescued and taken to safety by a strange group of people, and the man hired to tail her reports back to Hugo about her whereabouts.
Back at Max's place, Beast has beaten the horse-mutant into submission and forces him to call in to his bosses while he keeps the man under control by keeping the phone's wire around his throat. He soon finds out Dazzler's location: 26 Ocean Circle. Beast travels to the location and finds it's a large house dubbed the 'Heartbreak Hotel.' He smashes through the door and demands to be taken to Dazzler, however the woman cleaning inside claims that she has never seen her on the property. When Beast notices a light shining out from under one of the doors, he forces his way past a young mutant named Poltergeist and finds Dazzler in an adjacent room, her powers brightly shining out of control, and the girl herself almost delirious. Also her eye appears to be drooping off her face in some rather eerie art. Beast comes to her side and cradles her in his arms, telling her not to worry and that he will take care of her.
#2 - Heartbreak Hotel
The Heartbreak Hotel turns out to be a home run by the mysterious Kate, who opens her door to misfits seeking shelter (mostly mutants.) Dazzler recaps to Beast the events that led her to this point: Meeting Alexander Flynn and his 'Mutant Underground Theater' crowd who ushered her into a life of decadence following the collapse of her career after she was outed as a mutant.
Finally recovering from the effects of some drugs that Alexander Flynn secretly put into her drinks, Dazzler meets with Kate and the others and learns about the Hotel, and also about the various powers that the mutants living there have. They're pretty low-end on the whole - Poltergeist moves random things around when he's excited as if there's a prankster ghost nearby, and one of the other mutants is capable of changing the colors of things if she focuses - and that's it. Beast later joins Dazzler and they are left alone as it begins to rain, and the two appear to develop a romantic interest in each other.
Later, when one of the Hotel mutants named Link tries to cheer them up, Dazzler takes offence in Link's light-hearted jokes about her budding relationship with the Beast and storms off. Following her into the Hotel's green house, the two share a kiss unaware that Poltergeist is hiding out in there.
Not wanting to be discovered he tries to keep his powers in check, however the "poltergeist" causes the glass in the green house to explode, making the two would-be lovers dive to the ground. Finding Poltergeist, Dazzler comforts the boy and talks about how she only used her powers in self-defense, not to harm another.
Meanwhile, over in Latveria, Doctor Doom is looking out over his kingdom from atop the parapets of his castle, using a spyglass to study a farmer tending his sheep and likening the people of Latveria to sheep who plod through their aimless, insignificant lives. Soon enough Doom receives more news about his apparent heir, Alexander Flynn. When he hears that Flynn has recently hired Dazzler as part of his show, he dismisses her as nothing more than a tawdry nightclub singer. Doctor Doom has no son! There are no other men in this world whose veins course with blood as rich as his!
Back in Los Angeles, Alexander Flynn arrives with one of his mutant 'actors', who comes to collect Dazzler. Beast refuses to let them take her and the self titled Howlers show off that they have a mutant barking power that weakens the Beast, however Henry manages to knock them out. Dazzler stops Henry before he can attack Flynn and tells him that she intends to go with Flynn to the theatre, much to Beasts chagrin. Sickened by this sight, Beast tells them both to get out of sight but instantly regrets rejecting Dazzler. He muses that Flynn seems to have some sort of strange control over Dazzler, and is determined to figure out what's going on here...
Beast manages to track down and purchase a ticket to the secret underground theater, and notices that a lot of rich and influential people are in attendance. When Dazzler goes out on the stage to sing, she is quickly booed by the crowd and Beast realizes that this 'theater' is really a gladiator show, complete with combat! Flynn then convinces Dazzler to go out and fight a horned mutant. Dazzler's powers keep the monster at bay, but it manages to harm her, which sends Beast bounding into action. Dazzler realizes she nearly killed someone with her powers and backs off, departing from the field. With the crowd in a frenzy, Hugo Longride sends in the other Gladiators to engage in a battle royal before a crazed audience. Soon after, the horned mutant kills one of the other combatants.
After that the crowd leaves, satisfied by the bloodshed. Returning to her dressing room, Dazzler is visited by members of the Gladiators who justify what they do as well as claim that the death in the arena was an accident. All the while, Max Racer is once more putting drugs into Dazzler's drink.
As Flynn is sweet-talking her again, Beast bursts in and declares that he'll take Dazzler out of there, and he manages to convince her to leave until her mutant powers start flaring out of control again. Afraid of losing control of her power, and falsely believing that keeping the company of the Gladiator's prevent her powers from doing so, Dazzler turns away from Beast and tells him that she is staying with the Gladiators. Disgusted once more, Beast tells her off and storms out, telling her that he won't chase after her again. Beast then returns to the Heartbreak Hotel and tearfully wishes that this hadn't happened to such a good person.
#3 - Showtime
Beast and Dazzler have made up following their previous argument and are talking on the beach. However, their outing is interrupted when Beast's hairy presence brings gawkers. Dazzler talks Beast out of doing anything about it, and the two leave. Later, Dazzler decides to go back to the Gladiators again, and Beast notices that she only becomes like this when her powers begin to manifest outside of her control.
Returning to the Gladiators theater, Dazzler arrives just as another training session is underway. However, the Gladiators pause when Dazzler enters and give her praise, and when Hugo tries to get the group to get back to work his leadership is put into question when he is shown up by Alexander Flynn. After talking with Max and Ivana, she is shocked to find that they wear battle scars like a badge of honor. Lamenting her position in life and what she sees as her twisted future, Dazzler begins to wonder what Beast is up to, and cries.
Henry has returned to the Heartbreak Hotel to sulk over Dazzler's plight and his feelings toward her. He is visited by Kate and Poltergeist who convince him to try to talk Dazzler into returning once more. Back at the theater, Flynn, Max and Ivana (in another ploy to further gain Dazzler's trust and cooperation) get 'revenge' on Horns, the mutant who murdered one of his fellows in the previous battle. Violate the code again, they say, and it will no longer apply to him. Later as Dazzler is preparing for her next performance, she is dressing up like a Native American warrior when Beast shows up. He tries to talk her into coming back with him, but she refuses, telling him that she feels at home with the Gladiators. Disgusted with Dazzler again, Beast takes a tube of lipstick and draws a mocking "war paint" design on her face and storms out, telling her that he's not going to stand by and watch her kill herself. After Beast leaves Dazzler bursts into tears, and her powers flare out of control.
On his way out of there, Beast decides to snoop around Flynn's operation and finds a chemistry set there. He is horrified to learn that Flynn and his cronies have been making a drug that they have been using on Dazzler - they helpfully labelled the vials with her name! While back at the Heartbreak Hotel, Poltergeist, feels that he should do something, and tries to convince Kate and Link to help him go to Dazzler's rescue. Kate declines, but Link agrees to come along.
Back at Flynn's theater, as the next performance rages on, the Beast is caught by Flynn's men and is drugged into a state that matches his beastly appearance. Next, Flynn and his men have a mockery of the fairy tale 'Beauty and the Beast' set up. Dazzler is at first happy to see Hank, however when he attacks her she is forced to use her light powers to defend herself.
Forcing Beast up against a rose bush, the drugs begin to wear off on him. Dazzler continues to keep the Beast at bay, over the demands from the crowd that she kill Hank. She refuses to do so and goes to Beast's side. As furious as the crowd, Hugo soon demands that the other Gladiators kill both Dazzler and the Beast. However, Flynn steps in and demands that the show ends. When Hugo tries to pull rank on Flynn and the other mutants, Flynn then orders them to kill Hugo to which the Gladiators comply, with the audience hailing Flynn as the new chief of the theater. Hugo's corpse remains on the stage, half a dozen spears embedded into his torso. Max Rocker and some of the other gladiators don't care or this change, but stay silent for the moment...
In Latveria, Doctor Doom is informed that the broadcasts from America have simply ceased, and it's not clear what exactly happened. The messenger declares that if the transmissions have been severed, the man who calls himself Doom's son might well be in trouble! Doom slaps the man around the face for the sacrilege of implying that Flynn might be his son, then decides that the matter might escalate beyond a petty annoyance, so it's time for him to take control of the situation. He commands his minion to get him all the information there is on Dazzler and the Beast, and to prepare his ship - he's leaving for Hollywood, tonight! The messenger, still rubbing his cheek, finds it interesting that a man who cares for nobody like Doom, would suddenly care so very much…
#4 - Checkmate
Arriving at the darkened mutant theater of Alexander Flynn, Doctor Doom finds the corpse of Hugo Longride. He kneels at his side, declaring it's as suspected, a tragic losee - he cradles the man's head, declaring him a work of art. He twists off the man's head, revealing him to be one of Doom's most sophisticated robots. Doom shall mourn its passing! Hugo had been a life like robot that has been monitoring Flynn, the man who lays claim to Doom's blood, but now Doom decides there is no need to continue this any further - Doom is sole ruler, he has no need for heirs. It will take but a few strategic moves to topples this 'empire' his would-be son has built…
Elsewhere in the theater, the Beast and Dazzler have been strung up by Flynn and his Gladiators following Flynn's take-over of the organization. The two once more express their feelings until Flynn arrives to break up the romantic interlude to mock them and advise them that since they are not going to join his Gladiators willingly, he will have to kill them. He then tells them that he has grand ideas for his group, intending to amass an army, using his mutant power to charm people to do so. The then intends to conquer the world, starting with Latveria! Doom might not accept his claim, true, but he's taken inspiration from daddy dearest and intends simply to take what is is - to conquer the nation and seize its rule! Dazzler silently pleads to the other mutants to stop Flynn, but finds that none are willing to turn against him...
As Flynn begins his plot, Poltergeist and Link are on their way to the mutant theater to help free Beast and Dazzler. Poltergeist's power acts up, slowing the duo down when Link has to use his own telekinetic powers to save them from injury. I'm not sure what the hell is up with Link, but in this issue he resembles a mime in blackface, which is just all kinds of weird?
Back at the theater, Flynn starts ranting about following in the tradition of Caesar, Napoleon, Hitler, and Doom, and starts chunking knives at a map of Latveria. Doom's greatest glory, he declares, shall be his defeat at the hands of his son, Alexander von Doom! After listening to Flynn's plan of attack, Max and another gladiator leave the room and Max tries to talk her out of going along with the plan, but to no avail. Realizing that this is a raw deal, Max goes to the control room and frees Dazzler and Beast, completely unaware that Doom is watching him in the shadows. As the first of Flynn's minions deserts him, Doom declares that it will take more than charismatic charms to be a leader of men - and the water coursing through his veins is not thick enough to be the blood of a von Doom!
After Max Rocker releases Beast and Dazzler they make a break for it, but run into Flynn and his Gladiators, the former in an outfit clearly inspired by Doom's armor, though topped with a ridiculous helmet that resembles Sauron's! Flynn orders his minions to kill the mutant lovers, and while Beast and Dazzler fight off their attackers, Link and Poltergeist manage to break their way into the theater to make their rescue. However, they may be too late, as one of Flynn's mutants tries to kill Dazzler. She is saved at the last minute by Max who arrives to lend the two a helping hand. As the battle rages on, Doom watches silently from the arena stands, still biding his time. He treats it as a performance for his benefit, actually, musing that it will take more than the brute strength of an army to succeed at what Flynn is planning...
The fight is further complicated by the arrival of Poltergeist and Link, the former of whom Flynn grabs and holds at gunpoint. Flynn however doesn't take into account Link's mutant ability to control people like puppets, and is easily taken control of. Link is about to kill Flynn when Dazzler talks him out of it, telling Link that they should never use their mutant powers to kill. Link decides to follow her example but passes out from using his powers for too long. With his mutant army deserting him Flynn is alone against Dazzler and Beast who in turn attack him. Begging Max for help, Flynn is denied and is soundly defeated by Dazzler herself.
'Enough of this prattle…' Doctor Doom announces. With the battle over, he finally makes his appearance, revealing that he's been watching the whole time. He mocks Flynn's pathetic and unfounded claims that he is Doom's heir, and sneers at his plot to use a mutant army to conquer Latveria. Doom figures he seems a greater threat to himself than to Doom! It takes more than a fancy suit and an ill-conceived plan to rise above the rabble as sovereign. Flynn does not have the indefinable essence that makes a man truly great! He tells Flynn that it is time to lay to rest the claim that he carries the blood of Victor von Doom. No longer considering him a threat, Doom leaves Flynn to face the others in utter contempt, and strides out of the room.
With Doom gone, Max takes leadership of the Gladiators and convinces all the other Gladiators to join him in finding a new life. They leave mocking the utterly defeated Flynn, offering him to join them as their water boy. With the battle over, Beast and Dazzler leave the theater and return to the Heartbreak Hotel. There the two realize that while they love each other, they had escaped into a romance much in the same way that Dazzler found escapism with the Gladiators, and they amicably part. Outside, Poltergeist and Link have decided to leave the Heartbreak Hotel, unsure of where they are going to go but ready to enjoy whatever adventure they may find there.
Rating & Comments
I'm not sure where this entire story is supposed to go in the timeline - it's a bit screwy. At the time of release Doom was evidently dead, or alternatively he was taking part in Secret Wars. Either way he wasn't available to fuss about with potential sons. I presume therefore that this mini-series takes place in some period unrelated to its actual release, should be considered non-canonical, or - and this seems most likely - features only a Doombot rather than the genuine article.
Now, the story of these issues is pretty bad to start with - it involves a crazy person drugging and emotionally manipulating Dazzler into being part of his would-be mutant army that he intends to use to defeat Doctor Doom in his own nation. And he's using mutants who have such amazing powers as 'has a horn on his head' and 'literally has a horse's face' - truly this is the stuff of legends. The entirety of the first few issues involves Dazzler falling for every trick in the book and making terrible decisions whether there's mind-control involved or not, and Beast repeatedly getting angry over said decisions, then feeling pity for himself and Dazzler, and finally trying to get a random romance going. It paints everyone involved in a bad light, especially Dazzler, who seems like she never learns not to take sleazy weird agents at their word.
The romance is… crudely handled. It appears out of nowhere with Beast just inexplicably falling for her, and Dazzler suddenly appreciating the whole blue fur thing. It's also mostly irrelevant, as the most that comes of it is a few kisses, and other characters making lame jokes about people in love - and references to Beauty and the Beast because the writers thought that was a super-clever title and they really want you to know that it's totally a brilliant concept. The abrupt end to the relationship comes without much justification, and is presumably just there because the books outside this 4-parter don't actually depict any sort of Beast relationship with Dazzler, and he would get into a relationship with someone entirely different not much later.
As for Alexander Flynn? Well, if you want me to evaluate whether or not he's Doctor Doom's son or just a pretender... He's a Latverian megalomaniac with parental issues who wants to conquer the world starting with Latveria, has rants about being better than history's greatest conquerors, has a dangerous level of charisma, and a penchant for using mind-control to achieve his ends. I'm not saying I can definitely see it, but I can kinda see it? What throws me off is that while he does superficially seem like he could be a von Doom, he honestly reminds me more of the Fortunovs, especially in one of his earlier costumes before he puts on the Doom-mimic suit. I'm honestly less fussed about whether Flynn really has Doom's blood, than Doom's declaration that he needs no heir. Uh, Kristoff Vernard? Does this take place before that happened? But then how does that mesh with Dazzler's timeline? It can't really be a flashback for her. Time travel? Maybe this isn't Victor at all...?
My big personal complaint about this series isn't the hackneyed story, or the pointless romance, or the incredibly lazy and cliche idea of an underground gladiator arena contest, or any of that. It's that this series managed to spend four entire issues foreshadowing and hinting at a significant Doctor Doom presence… and in the end he just shows up, declares something that's already established in the first scene of the first issue, and leaves. And that's literally it. As far as Doom is concerned, this entire series was basically 'I should look into this. Oh, it's nothing. That was a waste of time.' What's the point? Why is he even in this series if he's not going to participate in any meaningful way? At least if he confirmed that Flynn is of Doom's blood, that'd be something! It'd be exciting if Doom show up to murder Flynn for not living up to the name, maybe. Or just to punish someone who's pretending to be related to him. Something. Anything!
Quality-wise, I think this storyline just barely tips 2 stars just for having some redeemable moments, though not many. But having an utterly irrelevant Doctor Doom portrayal smeared across four issues purely so you can pretend like he's more relevant than he actually turns out to be…? Doctor Doom is used as cheap stunt casting in this four-parter. He comes, he sees, he… just fucking leaves. I'm docking a star for that, and for the weird blackface mime thing, and for the abysmal treatment of Dazzler's entire character. I'm not a fan of hers, but Jesus Christ, give the girl a break! I don't do negative stars, but the minimum seems fine. At least my 100th post has some kind of distinction, I suppose!
Best Panel(s) of the Issue
I'll go with this panel of Beast vs. Dazzler, but really only because of lack of good choices. I admit, though, I didn't look that hard. Heh.
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
"If it weren't for this room I would forget entirely... but yes, although it is quite rare, man is capable of creating great works! This sculpture is a work of great beauty - man struggles to control the beast, as it should be. Few men can control the beast within. So few... Alas, all men were not created equal."
"Doom must ever lead his people, confront his enemies, pursue his destiny... alone! Doom must have no son."
"From this vantage point I, Doctor Doom, may observe ever facet of the land, the kingdom - the people over which I am sovereign. As the peasants care for their sheep, so do I care for my subjects, as they plod through their aimless, insignificant lives."
"Know this, you spineless toad - Doctor Doom has no son! There is no other man in the world whose veins course with blood as rich as your master's!"
"This matter could escalate beyond the petty annoyance it has been. It is time for Doom to take control!"
"It seems you pose a far greater threat to yourself than to the rule of Doctor Doom over Latveria. It takes more than a fancy suit and an ill-conceived plan to rise above the rabble as sovereign. You are not possessed of the indefinable essence that makes a man truly great. You are a misbegotten miscreant! It is time to lay to rest your nonsensical claim to the bloodline of Victor von Doom! Yet, I shall let you live. What ends would be served by your destruction? Bah! He is nothing but a contemptible, pitiful disgrace. Do with him what you will!"
Doom's Bad Hair Day
What's wrong with your face? I swear it's like half her face is leaking off her skull!
Cover
You might be wondering why I'm covering four comics in one go like this, instead of going one-by-one like usual. Part of that is practical - Doctor Doom would probably only qualify as a minor appearance in three out of these four comics, and I've handled that sort of situation before by including summaries of the previous largely Doom-less issues where necessary. Part of is expedience - I don't want to spend more time than necessary on these issues because they are about characters I generally don't care for. And part… part is just that I want this over with, because if I ever have to read a bunch of twaddle like this again I might kidnap some people and set up my own Secret Wars just to get some entertainment.
For the moment, I should evaluate the covers. They're… alright. The first one is kind of misleading with the giant Doom-mask in an issue that contains very little actual Doom, but otherwise they represent the story well - in as much as you can represent something that's crappy 'well' in any real sense. You can tell I'm salty. This is the 100th entry? This is the anniversary post? Bah! It is an affront to the name of Doom.
Story Overview
#1
We start off promising: in the heart of Latveria, Castle Doom. We see Doom in his inner sanctum, the art gallery that lies at the center of his domain, away from prying eyes. Only the worthy may gaze upon its wonders - which means it is open only to Victor von Doom. Only here can he escape, however briefly, the onus of ruling this little Balkan country. (Guess where Latveria is today, kids!) Doom declares that if he didn't have this room, filled with priceless works of art, he would forget entirely that on rare occasions man is indeed capable of creating great works. He looks at a sculpture depicting a man trying to tame a horse, and declares it beautiful - man struggles to control the beast - as it should be! Few men can control the beast within... So few. Alas, all men were not created equal.
Doom turns political as he decides that America, the cursed land that birthed his arch-enemies, the Fantastic Four, bases its whole political system on the misguided concept that people are equal. A true ruler, he decides, lets the masses know what's best for them, and they obey in earnest. He's suddenly interrupted when a light turns on that signals he's got a call waiting. Who dares interrupt Doom? He walks outside to meet a messenger, who declares that he has received a transmission which concerns the one... who claims to be Doom's son! Doom is annoyed that he was interrupted in his solitude to be reminded of him.
He's a base liar who affronts Doom with his heresy that Doom's blood flows through his veins, he declares, and it's a lie fostered by his wretched mother many years ago. Doom thinks back many years to a time when a woman claimed that he had sired her boy, but was unable to tell Doom since he was away from the country for so many years. Doom refused the claim outright, and had the woman and her son exiled from his kingdom, telling them they should be glad to keep their lives. As they left, Doom mused to himself that he should lead his people, confront his enemies, and pursue his destiny alone. There was no plan for a son. In modern day, Doom learns that his supposed heir has become something of a big name in California, and decides to pay closer attention to his activities in that 'infantile dreamland.'
Meanwhile in Los Angeles, the Beast has taken time off from the Defenders to take a vacation and visit his friends Simon Williams and Dazzler. Beast is particularly worried about Dazzler since she outed herself as a mutant recently. When he travels into the city proper and finds that her last venue has closed down and posters of her last performance were vandalized with anti-mutant epitaphs, he finds that his concerns were well founded. He does take a moment to observe Dazzler sure is pretty, though! Incidentally, the way Beast is written in this era is so unlike the one I'm familiar with that it's kind of giving me whiplash. Times have changed!
That night, Allison (Dazzler) herself is at a Hollywood party in a mansion owned by Alexander Flynn. Flynn approaches Dazzler and tells her that he is a big fan, and offers her a singing gig as part of his "Underground Theatre." She initially refuses for fear that the audience would react negatively to the fact that she is a mutant, however Flynn assures her that it is safe, declaring he won't take no for an answer. She goes for an audition held by the theatre's owner Hugo Longride, a rather creepy fellow, who is impressed with her signing prowess and has her sign a contract immediately, pushing her through it without reading all the details. Soon after Flynn begins taking Dazzler out to many Hollywood parties, convincing her to take up drinking once more and creating a media frenzy that lists the once proud musician as a 'queen of decadence' in the papers. As the days progress, Alison is shocked to find that she is slowly losing control of her powers, and when she confronts Flynn about her negative press, he just tells her not to worry about their lies.
At a wrap up party at a studio, Dazzler talks with Max Rocker, an aggressive member of the theatre she joined - and an anthropomorphic horse. He's a mutant with literal horse-face, basically, and I'm pretty sure he has hooves, too! Allison is shocked to learn that all the members of the theatre are mutants. Attending the party are Wonder Man and Beast, and when Henry recognizes Dazzler, he doesn't like the way that Max Rocker is talking to her and approaches the two of them. Max isn't actually saying anything offensive, but Beast sure is - he starts talking about 'taking off the ugly mask' as if he didn't realize the man's a mutant!
The two almost come to blows when Longride shows up to break it up. He secretly asks Max if he completed his 'job' and Max confirms that the 'valuable property' is primed and ready. Hugo then makes a quip that Alison and Hank are 'Beauty and the Beast' which angers Hank again.
He tries to take a shot at the theater owner, however Alison quickly talks him out of it - Beast takes it as confirmation that she's with the 'sicko crowd.' She leaves with Hugo and his cohorts, dropping her purse behind when she realizes her powers are acting up again. Watching them go, Beast is convinced something suspicious is going on, however Wonder Man cautions his friend to be careful because Hugo Longride has a pretty bad reputation.
Suddenly, Alison's powers spike out of control causing the girl to flee through the streets as she shines brightly without meaning to. Hugo sends one of his men to tail her, noting she's 'valuable property' which is quite the phrase for a human being, eh? When the news about Alison's disappearance hits the newspapers, Beast decides to go out looking for her, thinking that Hugo and his goons had something to do with it. Tracking Max back to his home, which is filled with horse and centaur figurines because of course it is, the two end up fighting, Beast demanding where he took Dazzler. Max reveals that he can fight - he's a professional fighter! As their battle rages, Alison herself has gone to the beach and let her powers finally go out of control, and soon she falls into the ocean. She is then rescued and taken to safety by a strange group of people, and the man hired to tail her reports back to Hugo about her whereabouts.
Back at Max's place, Beast has beaten the horse-mutant into submission and forces him to call in to his bosses while he keeps the man under control by keeping the phone's wire around his throat. He soon finds out Dazzler's location: 26 Ocean Circle. Beast travels to the location and finds it's a large house dubbed the 'Heartbreak Hotel.' He smashes through the door and demands to be taken to Dazzler, however the woman cleaning inside claims that she has never seen her on the property. When Beast notices a light shining out from under one of the doors, he forces his way past a young mutant named Poltergeist and finds Dazzler in an adjacent room, her powers brightly shining out of control, and the girl herself almost delirious. Also her eye appears to be drooping off her face in some rather eerie art. Beast comes to her side and cradles her in his arms, telling her not to worry and that he will take care of her.
#2 - Heartbreak Hotel
The Heartbreak Hotel turns out to be a home run by the mysterious Kate, who opens her door to misfits seeking shelter (mostly mutants.) Dazzler recaps to Beast the events that led her to this point: Meeting Alexander Flynn and his 'Mutant Underground Theater' crowd who ushered her into a life of decadence following the collapse of her career after she was outed as a mutant.
Finally recovering from the effects of some drugs that Alexander Flynn secretly put into her drinks, Dazzler meets with Kate and the others and learns about the Hotel, and also about the various powers that the mutants living there have. They're pretty low-end on the whole - Poltergeist moves random things around when he's excited as if there's a prankster ghost nearby, and one of the other mutants is capable of changing the colors of things if she focuses - and that's it. Beast later joins Dazzler and they are left alone as it begins to rain, and the two appear to develop a romantic interest in each other.
Later, when one of the Hotel mutants named Link tries to cheer them up, Dazzler takes offence in Link's light-hearted jokes about her budding relationship with the Beast and storms off. Following her into the Hotel's green house, the two share a kiss unaware that Poltergeist is hiding out in there.
Not wanting to be discovered he tries to keep his powers in check, however the "poltergeist" causes the glass in the green house to explode, making the two would-be lovers dive to the ground. Finding Poltergeist, Dazzler comforts the boy and talks about how she only used her powers in self-defense, not to harm another.
Meanwhile, over in Latveria, Doctor Doom is looking out over his kingdom from atop the parapets of his castle, using a spyglass to study a farmer tending his sheep and likening the people of Latveria to sheep who plod through their aimless, insignificant lives. Soon enough Doom receives more news about his apparent heir, Alexander Flynn. When he hears that Flynn has recently hired Dazzler as part of his show, he dismisses her as nothing more than a tawdry nightclub singer. Doctor Doom has no son! There are no other men in this world whose veins course with blood as rich as his!
Back in Los Angeles, Alexander Flynn arrives with one of his mutant 'actors', who comes to collect Dazzler. Beast refuses to let them take her and the self titled Howlers show off that they have a mutant barking power that weakens the Beast, however Henry manages to knock them out. Dazzler stops Henry before he can attack Flynn and tells him that she intends to go with Flynn to the theatre, much to Beasts chagrin. Sickened by this sight, Beast tells them both to get out of sight but instantly regrets rejecting Dazzler. He muses that Flynn seems to have some sort of strange control over Dazzler, and is determined to figure out what's going on here...
Beast manages to track down and purchase a ticket to the secret underground theater, and notices that a lot of rich and influential people are in attendance. When Dazzler goes out on the stage to sing, she is quickly booed by the crowd and Beast realizes that this 'theater' is really a gladiator show, complete with combat! Flynn then convinces Dazzler to go out and fight a horned mutant. Dazzler's powers keep the monster at bay, but it manages to harm her, which sends Beast bounding into action. Dazzler realizes she nearly killed someone with her powers and backs off, departing from the field. With the crowd in a frenzy, Hugo Longride sends in the other Gladiators to engage in a battle royal before a crazed audience. Soon after, the horned mutant kills one of the other combatants.
After that the crowd leaves, satisfied by the bloodshed. Returning to her dressing room, Dazzler is visited by members of the Gladiators who justify what they do as well as claim that the death in the arena was an accident. All the while, Max Racer is once more putting drugs into Dazzler's drink.
As Flynn is sweet-talking her again, Beast bursts in and declares that he'll take Dazzler out of there, and he manages to convince her to leave until her mutant powers start flaring out of control again. Afraid of losing control of her power, and falsely believing that keeping the company of the Gladiator's prevent her powers from doing so, Dazzler turns away from Beast and tells him that she is staying with the Gladiators. Disgusted once more, Beast tells her off and storms out, telling her that he won't chase after her again. Beast then returns to the Heartbreak Hotel and tearfully wishes that this hadn't happened to such a good person.
#3 - Showtime
Beast and Dazzler have made up following their previous argument and are talking on the beach. However, their outing is interrupted when Beast's hairy presence brings gawkers. Dazzler talks Beast out of doing anything about it, and the two leave. Later, Dazzler decides to go back to the Gladiators again, and Beast notices that she only becomes like this when her powers begin to manifest outside of her control.
Returning to the Gladiators theater, Dazzler arrives just as another training session is underway. However, the Gladiators pause when Dazzler enters and give her praise, and when Hugo tries to get the group to get back to work his leadership is put into question when he is shown up by Alexander Flynn. After talking with Max and Ivana, she is shocked to find that they wear battle scars like a badge of honor. Lamenting her position in life and what she sees as her twisted future, Dazzler begins to wonder what Beast is up to, and cries.
Henry has returned to the Heartbreak Hotel to sulk over Dazzler's plight and his feelings toward her. He is visited by Kate and Poltergeist who convince him to try to talk Dazzler into returning once more. Back at the theater, Flynn, Max and Ivana (in another ploy to further gain Dazzler's trust and cooperation) get 'revenge' on Horns, the mutant who murdered one of his fellows in the previous battle. Violate the code again, they say, and it will no longer apply to him. Later as Dazzler is preparing for her next performance, she is dressing up like a Native American warrior when Beast shows up. He tries to talk her into coming back with him, but she refuses, telling him that she feels at home with the Gladiators. Disgusted with Dazzler again, Beast takes a tube of lipstick and draws a mocking "war paint" design on her face and storms out, telling her that he's not going to stand by and watch her kill herself. After Beast leaves Dazzler bursts into tears, and her powers flare out of control.
On his way out of there, Beast decides to snoop around Flynn's operation and finds a chemistry set there. He is horrified to learn that Flynn and his cronies have been making a drug that they have been using on Dazzler - they helpfully labelled the vials with her name! While back at the Heartbreak Hotel, Poltergeist, feels that he should do something, and tries to convince Kate and Link to help him go to Dazzler's rescue. Kate declines, but Link agrees to come along.
Back at Flynn's theater, as the next performance rages on, the Beast is caught by Flynn's men and is drugged into a state that matches his beastly appearance. Next, Flynn and his men have a mockery of the fairy tale 'Beauty and the Beast' set up. Dazzler is at first happy to see Hank, however when he attacks her she is forced to use her light powers to defend herself.
Forcing Beast up against a rose bush, the drugs begin to wear off on him. Dazzler continues to keep the Beast at bay, over the demands from the crowd that she kill Hank. She refuses to do so and goes to Beast's side. As furious as the crowd, Hugo soon demands that the other Gladiators kill both Dazzler and the Beast. However, Flynn steps in and demands that the show ends. When Hugo tries to pull rank on Flynn and the other mutants, Flynn then orders them to kill Hugo to which the Gladiators comply, with the audience hailing Flynn as the new chief of the theater. Hugo's corpse remains on the stage, half a dozen spears embedded into his torso. Max Rocker and some of the other gladiators don't care or this change, but stay silent for the moment...
In Latveria, Doctor Doom is informed that the broadcasts from America have simply ceased, and it's not clear what exactly happened. The messenger declares that if the transmissions have been severed, the man who calls himself Doom's son might well be in trouble! Doom slaps the man around the face for the sacrilege of implying that Flynn might be his son, then decides that the matter might escalate beyond a petty annoyance, so it's time for him to take control of the situation. He commands his minion to get him all the information there is on Dazzler and the Beast, and to prepare his ship - he's leaving for Hollywood, tonight! The messenger, still rubbing his cheek, finds it interesting that a man who cares for nobody like Doom, would suddenly care so very much…
#4 - Checkmate
Arriving at the darkened mutant theater of Alexander Flynn, Doctor Doom finds the corpse of Hugo Longride. He kneels at his side, declaring it's as suspected, a tragic losee - he cradles the man's head, declaring him a work of art. He twists off the man's head, revealing him to be one of Doom's most sophisticated robots. Doom shall mourn its passing! Hugo had been a life like robot that has been monitoring Flynn, the man who lays claim to Doom's blood, but now Doom decides there is no need to continue this any further - Doom is sole ruler, he has no need for heirs. It will take but a few strategic moves to topples this 'empire' his would-be son has built…
Elsewhere in the theater, the Beast and Dazzler have been strung up by Flynn and his Gladiators following Flynn's take-over of the organization. The two once more express their feelings until Flynn arrives to break up the romantic interlude to mock them and advise them that since they are not going to join his Gladiators willingly, he will have to kill them. He then tells them that he has grand ideas for his group, intending to amass an army, using his mutant power to charm people to do so. The then intends to conquer the world, starting with Latveria! Doom might not accept his claim, true, but he's taken inspiration from daddy dearest and intends simply to take what is is - to conquer the nation and seize its rule! Dazzler silently pleads to the other mutants to stop Flynn, but finds that none are willing to turn against him...
As Flynn begins his plot, Poltergeist and Link are on their way to the mutant theater to help free Beast and Dazzler. Poltergeist's power acts up, slowing the duo down when Link has to use his own telekinetic powers to save them from injury. I'm not sure what the hell is up with Link, but in this issue he resembles a mime in blackface, which is just all kinds of weird?
Back at the theater, Flynn starts ranting about following in the tradition of Caesar, Napoleon, Hitler, and Doom, and starts chunking knives at a map of Latveria. Doom's greatest glory, he declares, shall be his defeat at the hands of his son, Alexander von Doom! After listening to Flynn's plan of attack, Max and another gladiator leave the room and Max tries to talk her out of going along with the plan, but to no avail. Realizing that this is a raw deal, Max goes to the control room and frees Dazzler and Beast, completely unaware that Doom is watching him in the shadows. As the first of Flynn's minions deserts him, Doom declares that it will take more than charismatic charms to be a leader of men - and the water coursing through his veins is not thick enough to be the blood of a von Doom!
After Max Rocker releases Beast and Dazzler they make a break for it, but run into Flynn and his Gladiators, the former in an outfit clearly inspired by Doom's armor, though topped with a ridiculous helmet that resembles Sauron's! Flynn orders his minions to kill the mutant lovers, and while Beast and Dazzler fight off their attackers, Link and Poltergeist manage to break their way into the theater to make their rescue. However, they may be too late, as one of Flynn's mutants tries to kill Dazzler. She is saved at the last minute by Max who arrives to lend the two a helping hand. As the battle rages on, Doom watches silently from the arena stands, still biding his time. He treats it as a performance for his benefit, actually, musing that it will take more than the brute strength of an army to succeed at what Flynn is planning...
The fight is further complicated by the arrival of Poltergeist and Link, the former of whom Flynn grabs and holds at gunpoint. Flynn however doesn't take into account Link's mutant ability to control people like puppets, and is easily taken control of. Link is about to kill Flynn when Dazzler talks him out of it, telling Link that they should never use their mutant powers to kill. Link decides to follow her example but passes out from using his powers for too long. With his mutant army deserting him Flynn is alone against Dazzler and Beast who in turn attack him. Begging Max for help, Flynn is denied and is soundly defeated by Dazzler herself.
'Enough of this prattle…' Doctor Doom announces. With the battle over, he finally makes his appearance, revealing that he's been watching the whole time. He mocks Flynn's pathetic and unfounded claims that he is Doom's heir, and sneers at his plot to use a mutant army to conquer Latveria. Doom figures he seems a greater threat to himself than to Doom! It takes more than a fancy suit and an ill-conceived plan to rise above the rabble as sovereign. Flynn does not have the indefinable essence that makes a man truly great! He tells Flynn that it is time to lay to rest the claim that he carries the blood of Victor von Doom. No longer considering him a threat, Doom leaves Flynn to face the others in utter contempt, and strides out of the room.
With Doom gone, Max takes leadership of the Gladiators and convinces all the other Gladiators to join him in finding a new life. They leave mocking the utterly defeated Flynn, offering him to join them as their water boy. With the battle over, Beast and Dazzler leave the theater and return to the Heartbreak Hotel. There the two realize that while they love each other, they had escaped into a romance much in the same way that Dazzler found escapism with the Gladiators, and they amicably part. Outside, Poltergeist and Link have decided to leave the Heartbreak Hotel, unsure of where they are going to go but ready to enjoy whatever adventure they may find there.
Rating & Comments
I'm not sure where this entire story is supposed to go in the timeline - it's a bit screwy. At the time of release Doom was evidently dead, or alternatively he was taking part in Secret Wars. Either way he wasn't available to fuss about with potential sons. I presume therefore that this mini-series takes place in some period unrelated to its actual release, should be considered non-canonical, or - and this seems most likely - features only a Doombot rather than the genuine article.
Now, the story of these issues is pretty bad to start with - it involves a crazy person drugging and emotionally manipulating Dazzler into being part of his would-be mutant army that he intends to use to defeat Doctor Doom in his own nation. And he's using mutants who have such amazing powers as 'has a horn on his head' and 'literally has a horse's face' - truly this is the stuff of legends. The entirety of the first few issues involves Dazzler falling for every trick in the book and making terrible decisions whether there's mind-control involved or not, and Beast repeatedly getting angry over said decisions, then feeling pity for himself and Dazzler, and finally trying to get a random romance going. It paints everyone involved in a bad light, especially Dazzler, who seems like she never learns not to take sleazy weird agents at their word.
The romance is… crudely handled. It appears out of nowhere with Beast just inexplicably falling for her, and Dazzler suddenly appreciating the whole blue fur thing. It's also mostly irrelevant, as the most that comes of it is a few kisses, and other characters making lame jokes about people in love - and references to Beauty and the Beast because the writers thought that was a super-clever title and they really want you to know that it's totally a brilliant concept. The abrupt end to the relationship comes without much justification, and is presumably just there because the books outside this 4-parter don't actually depict any sort of Beast relationship with Dazzler, and he would get into a relationship with someone entirely different not much later.
As for Alexander Flynn? Well, if you want me to evaluate whether or not he's Doctor Doom's son or just a pretender... He's a Latverian megalomaniac with parental issues who wants to conquer the world starting with Latveria, has rants about being better than history's greatest conquerors, has a dangerous level of charisma, and a penchant for using mind-control to achieve his ends. I'm not saying I can definitely see it, but I can kinda see it? What throws me off is that while he does superficially seem like he could be a von Doom, he honestly reminds me more of the Fortunovs, especially in one of his earlier costumes before he puts on the Doom-mimic suit. I'm honestly less fussed about whether Flynn really has Doom's blood, than Doom's declaration that he needs no heir. Uh, Kristoff Vernard? Does this take place before that happened? But then how does that mesh with Dazzler's timeline? It can't really be a flashback for her. Time travel? Maybe this isn't Victor at all...?
My big personal complaint about this series isn't the hackneyed story, or the pointless romance, or the incredibly lazy and cliche idea of an underground gladiator arena contest, or any of that. It's that this series managed to spend four entire issues foreshadowing and hinting at a significant Doctor Doom presence… and in the end he just shows up, declares something that's already established in the first scene of the first issue, and leaves. And that's literally it. As far as Doom is concerned, this entire series was basically 'I should look into this. Oh, it's nothing. That was a waste of time.' What's the point? Why is he even in this series if he's not going to participate in any meaningful way? At least if he confirmed that Flynn is of Doom's blood, that'd be something! It'd be exciting if Doom show up to murder Flynn for not living up to the name, maybe. Or just to punish someone who's pretending to be related to him. Something. Anything!
Quality-wise, I think this storyline just barely tips 2 stars just for having some redeemable moments, though not many. But having an utterly irrelevant Doctor Doom portrayal smeared across four issues purely so you can pretend like he's more relevant than he actually turns out to be…? Doctor Doom is used as cheap stunt casting in this four-parter. He comes, he sees, he… just fucking leaves. I'm docking a star for that, and for the weird blackface mime thing, and for the abysmal treatment of Dazzler's entire character. I'm not a fan of hers, but Jesus Christ, give the girl a break! I don't do negative stars, but the minimum seems fine. At least my 100th post has some kind of distinction, I suppose!
Best Panel(s) of the Issue
I'll go with this panel of Beast vs. Dazzler, but really only because of lack of good choices. I admit, though, I didn't look that hard. Heh.
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
"If it weren't for this room I would forget entirely... but yes, although it is quite rare, man is capable of creating great works! This sculpture is a work of great beauty - man struggles to control the beast, as it should be. Few men can control the beast within. So few... Alas, all men were not created equal."
"Doom must ever lead his people, confront his enemies, pursue his destiny... alone! Doom must have no son."
"From this vantage point I, Doctor Doom, may observe ever facet of the land, the kingdom - the people over which I am sovereign. As the peasants care for their sheep, so do I care for my subjects, as they plod through their aimless, insignificant lives."
"Know this, you spineless toad - Doctor Doom has no son! There is no other man in the world whose veins course with blood as rich as your master's!"
"This matter could escalate beyond the petty annoyance it has been. It is time for Doom to take control!"
"It seems you pose a far greater threat to yourself than to the rule of Doctor Doom over Latveria. It takes more than a fancy suit and an ill-conceived plan to rise above the rabble as sovereign. You are not possessed of the indefinable essence that makes a man truly great. You are a misbegotten miscreant! It is time to lay to rest your nonsensical claim to the bloodline of Victor von Doom! Yet, I shall let you live. What ends would be served by your destruction? Bah! He is nothing but a contemptible, pitiful disgrace. Do with him what you will!"
Doom's Bad Hair Day
What's wrong with your face? I swear it's like half her face is leaking off her skull!
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- Pronouns
- He/Him
For those interested in an alternate perspective on these events, this miniseries was covered by the excellent Jay and Miles Xplain the X-Men podcast, and they seemed to like it. That said it's been years since I listened to the episode, so I don't recall what parts of it they liked.
www.xplainthexmen.com
35 – Post-Disco Panic
In which literally every character in Dazzler: The Movie is the absolute worst; Beauty and the Beast is secretly kind of awesome; Ann Nocenti is an editorial war-bard; Rachel issues a hat-related r…
www.xplainthexmen.com
- Location
- Netherlands
For those interested in an alternate perspective on these events, this miniseries was covered by the excellent Jay and Miles Xplain the X-Men podcast, and they seemed to like it. That said it's been years since I listened to the episode, so I don't recall what parts of it they liked.
35 – Post-Disco Panic
In which literally every character in Dazzler: The Movie is the absolute worst; Beauty and the Beast is secretly kind of awesome; Ann Nocenti is an editorial war-bard; Rachel issues a hat-related r…
Just goes to show that tastes differ! Well, the subjectivity of this thread shows through...
- Pronouns
- He/Him
For what it's worth, both you and Jay agree that Professor X is an asshole.Just goes to show that tastes differ! Well, the subjectivity of this thread shows through...
- Location
- Netherlands
It's funny how different a view you get of the guy if you just go by his animated portrayal or his incarnation from very specific creators. In the old days he was a creep (lusting after his female underage students level) and that's before you ever get into his consistent tendency to read minds without consents, alter minds without consent, and do much worse occasionally while moralizing to people and claiming it's an exception just for this one time, I swear. And then there's Onslaught, and that whole thing where he covered up the deaths of the original X-Men and just started a new group pretending they never existed.
Well, those last two are the "Prof X has a SHOCKING SECRET" thing, and the first bit is just superdickery.