Doom's Day Has Come! (Let's Read Marvel's Doctor Doom)
- Thread starter Roarian
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- He/Him
I believe these are Mark 1 Sentinels, captured by the X-Men after the events of X-Men #14-16. Colosso was actually partially built from technology Xavier reverse-engineered from those Sentinels
Originally, I cited this as further proof of my theory that Doom was involved in the creation of Bolivar Trask's Sentinels. Now, however, I'm not so sure. By this point, he has easily re-programmed the Mad Thinker's Android Man, a Kree Sentry, and will in the future reprogram Ultron himself. I think it is now well-established that Doom can reprogram any robot he wants, even the Sentinels
Interestingly, Spider-Man has not yet fought Sentinels himself. He probably heard about them in the news. Maybe he watched the TV debate between Bolivar Trask and Charles Xavier, where the Sentinels were first introduced?
Once Dr. Strange arrived, it was all over but the shouting. The Sentinels vs. the X-Men, the Fantastic Four, Spider-Man and Daredevil is a pretty fair fight under normal conditions (though these Sentinels have clearly been heavily compromised by Doom's reprogramming, and are basically just stumbling around) but Dr. Strange is way out of their weight-class. If they hadn't self-destructed, he could have obliterated them or sent them to another dimension with a gesture.
THIS IS SO COOL! I never would have guessed that was actually Mordo. I'm surprised he actually stirred himself to fly out and help deal with the Sentinels, even if he doesn't really care about the heroes involved one way or another. He must have been trying really hard to keep up the ruse that he was really Strange
Doom is doing really well here. It's not uncommon for him to start out one or two steps ahead of Reed, but rarely does he manage to stay ahead of Reed for so long
It's possible that, after Doom shot up the soldiers around his castle, the army took advantage of his absence to sabotage or dismantle the original time machine.
The same issue with Diablo implies that, at this point, Doom had not yet rebuilt the time machine in Latveria, and this was his only one, which is why he has to retrieve it in this issue. I guess fixing the original was easier than building a new one from scratch
Hmm, possibly your habit of executing anyone you think is acting smarter than you?
THIS is very interesting. Doom has not yet learned that AIM recovered the Cube, though he will discover it in the near future. At this point, he too was fooled into believing it was destroyed.
I have always suspected that Doom first put AIM under surveillance after his encounter with MODOK in Captain America #132, which happened soon after this point. I bet he discovered that the Cube was not destroyed purely by accident, when he started spying on MODOK's activities.
This whole plot is very similar to Doom's first appearance, where he wanted to send the Fantastic Four into the past to recover the Merlin Stones before they were lost, to spare him the trouble of hunting them down in the present day. It a very practical use of the time machine. As Doom indicates in his battle with Diablo, he knows that it is impossible to change history. All you do is create a new timeline. Instead, Doom primarily uses his time machine to recover things from the past, such as valuable objects or lost knowledge, which he can use to gain more power in the present day.
True, this does create alternate timeline (such as this one, where the Cosmic Cube is never seen again after it's first appearance) but this is of no importance to Doom since he doesn't live in that timeline.
Until his time on Counter-Earth, Doom's time machine could only be operated from the present day by a person at the controls. the person sent back in time was dependent on the operator to bring them home again. I don't think Doom generally trusts his minions not to strand him in the past at the first oppertunity, which is why he takes these risks rarely (and does get burned, as when Hauptmann stranded him and Iron Man in Camelot)
So this is why Reed is lagging behind Doom more than usual. Doom actually will use a similar version of this technology in Littleville in Fantastic Four #236 to keep Reed befuddled, and for much the same reason. Doom gloated in that issue over Reed's inability to figure out what was happening too, so I think this is very in character. Doom is just that petty, to deliberetly hobble Reed's intelligence, and then gloat over how much smarter he is as if he was doing nothing of the kind.
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- Location
- Wörms, the half continent
DOOM sees you when you're sleeping.
DOOM knows when you're awake.
DOOM knows if you've been bad or good.
DOOM has gifted the people of Latveria a new surveillance system for Christmas.
DOOM knows when you're awake.
DOOM knows if you've been bad or good.
DOOM has gifted the people of Latveria a new surveillance system for Christmas.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
looking ahead, it will be very interesting to hear your take on Fantastic Four 1234
I THINK I understand it, but I found it very confusing
I THINK I understand it, but I found it very confusing
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212: Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Comics Magazine #5-6 - New York Knockdown! / Mayhem on the Moon!
- Location
- Netherlands
Fantastic Four - World's Greatest Comics #5-6 (June-July 2001)
Cover
Hey, look, Doctor Doom has finally made it onto one of these covers! Oh, what a glorious day! While the first cover here is just a generic Hulk vs. Thing fight with the rest of the team hanging out in the background, the second plays into the classic 'Giant Background Doom' theme, coupling it with Doom wielding the Cosmic Cube that he got his gauntlets on in the last issue. I assume, then, that in #6 we're finally getting our first proper confrontation! Huzzah! I think that the style of Doom in that cover is a bit too modern for the ostensible era this takes place in, though - should've had less detail, I think.
Story Overview
WGCM #5 - New York Knockdown!
After a very brief synopsis about this series' ongoing events, describing how someone's messing with the Fantastic Four and Reed's figured out who it is, we open at the Baxter Building again. Ben is busy inspecting an odd coffee-maker-like gizmo that Reed set up in the middle of the room, and he is told to just wait a moment and Reed will show him what it does. Johnny guesses it's for sending Franklin's dirty diapers to the Negative Zone - that'd be handy! Suddenly the top half of the device breaks off and launches upwards, blasting apart and ejecting little round pellets everywhere, much to Ben's consternation. The coffee maker is attacking! Johnny realizes that's not the case when he dodges the spheres and realizes that each individual piece is actually moving with exact precision to a spot on the wall or the floor. But why…?
Reed apologizes for startling everyone, but explains that what he just set off was a security device for finding and killing electronic bugs in their HQ. The Baxter Building was infested with hundreds of tiny surveillance devices, he explains - little spies which he just destroyed! But the man behind the bugs wasn't just watching them… the devices were also emitting thought-inhibiting rays preventing Reed from thinking clearly! (I guess this retcons the brain nanites from last time.) Johnny figures that the latter functionality was there to make sure Reed wouldn't catch on. He pauses and points out that the labs were demolished only days ago - did Reed really manage to make all these new devices around them, plus this bug-killer doohickey, all while his brains were addled? Ben concludes he must have, because on a good week Reed would have made three times as much stuff!
Johnny Finally asks if Reed's figured out who's responsible for this whole mess, and he declares that there is only one man brilliant enough, and twisted enough, to hatch a scheme this complex. It must be… DOCTOR DOOM! (Imagine thunderclaps here.)
On that note, we switch scenes over to Doom's upstate castle again, which has become a familiar sight over these last few issues. We enter on him yelling 'Bah!' - you gotta love it. Doom's visi-screens all went blank at the same time, which means that imbecile, Reed Richards, must have finally discovered his Infesti-eyes and neutralized them! But that doesn't matter, he concludes - even if he knew the full truth, the Fantastic Four couldn't stop him now! He only sought to confuse and delay them during the formative stages of his plan, but by now it's far too late. Doom now has power beyond imagining - power that will be set into motion without delay! But first, a delay.
Doom then strolls through his private rooms and picks up the Cosmic Cube from its resting place, briefly describing how he retrieved it from where the Red Skull left it by using his time machine, and that it has the ability to make his wishes into reality! But for all its power, all those who created it and wielded it have always met with failure, so Doom decides he must study it, test it, before he depends upon it fully… He decides the object of those tests shall be another time-snatched artifact, one which will now be brought to life by the searing energies of the Cube! Doom then pours his energy into a rather familiar shape - it turns out it's our old friend the Hulkbot!
Amusingly, this means Doom probably snatched this particular artifact from the future, from his perspective, given that this Hulk robot originally debuted in '77 and Doom first encountered it during the previously covered Fantastic Four v1 #320 & Incredible Hulk v1 #350 two-parter from the late 80's, which is when he sent it out to fight the Thing. Doom is using the animated machine to serve a double purpose here - to confound his enemies, while simultaneously achieving some of his other aims. He sends it out to seek the Fantastic Four… and one other person! The Hulkbot then immediately smashes a nearby castle wall and vanishes into the forest beyond, as you do…
Meanwhile, in the town of Whisper Hill, Sue is entertaining Franklin when she's approached by Agatha Harkness - she's got a call waiting. Reed's phoning her to tell her about everything that happened in her absence, and he hopes she enjoyed her visit with Franklin - because now that they know Doom could strike any of them at any time, she should quickly make her way back home alongside Crystal! Sue explains that Crystal won't be returning with her, given that the Inhumans suddenly teleported her away. Johnny is rather distraught by this - after all he went through to get Crystal back from the Inhumans, they're just snatching her back again!? Reed tells him to calm down, noting that they don't know she's in danger, so it could be nothing. Johnny's not comforted by that thought. If it was Sue that was missing, Reed wouldn't rest until she was found! Johnny rushes off, and Reed heads after him to try to cool his temper…
Over in the Baxter Building's living room we visit Alicia Masters, who has arrived to visit Ben because she hadn't heard anything from him for days. The news reported on the attacks against the team, and the damage to the building… Oh, she was so worried! As she hugs Ben, he assures her she should know better than to fret over a few dinky explosions and blast-rays, since the Fantastic Four are tough! He just figured… figured she had better things to do than waste time with a rocky freak like him. Alicia tells Ben off for talking about himself like that, reminding him she doesn't care what he looks like, just who he is! She knows he thinks it's because she's blind, but even if she could see… Ben morosely argues that if she could see, she'd head for the hills like everyone else. There's no denying it, he's a freak!
Their depressing heart-to-heart is interrupted when Johnny comes dashing into the room, loudly yelling at Ben that he's got to help - Crystal's been kidnapped by Lockjaw of the Inhumans, and they've got to rev up the pogo-plane! Ben dryly reminds Johnny that Lockjaw is Crystal's own dog! So she went to visit home, so what? At least he's got a girl that he can hold in his arms without worrying about crushing her! At least he has a life! Johnny apologizes for overreacting, while Ben stares out the window and figures maybe they should hop over to that hidden land of the Inhumans, where her folks live, to check up on her… that way at least somebody will be happy. Alicia tries to reassure Ben again, and… that's when everything goes straight to hell.
The Hulk smashes through the window and immediately tackles the Thing! What the ding-dong blazes?!
Ben blocks the Hulk's attacks and yells at Johnny to get Alicia out of there - this is going to get rough! Alicia has no idea what's going on, but Johnny quickly picks her up and lifts her towards the roof, leaving Ben with room to maneuver. The Thing uses that room to punch the Hulk straight back out through the wall he entered through, to get him to street-level the fast way. Nobody busts in on the Fantastic Four and gets away with it! He's not sure why the Hulk came here, but Ben's going after him and they'll have it out, once and for all! He jumps out the window and uses his rocky fingernails and toes to slide down the wall before jumping off to give himself some momentum and slam a heavy punch into the face of the creep he means to clobber. Just as Johnny returns from bringing Alicia to safety, the Hulk violently returns Ben's blow and sends him flying backwards too.
As Ben recollects himself he decides that the Hulk sure hasn't lost any of his strength, but something is screwy here - he's sounding even dumber than usual, for one! Ben also realizes that the Hulk isn't coming after him - he's running away! But he's not leaping like he usually does, so it's like he's not really trying to get away, but just lead him somewhere... Well, forget that, he'll think about that as soon as he catches him! Ben and the Hulk spend the next thirty blocks exchanging blows, which buys enough time for Johnny and Reed to join in, though Ben doesn't really want them butting into his fight. Reed argues they don't have time to spare for personal grudges, since for all they know Doom set this up to keep them occupied, and is even now striking at the Baxter Building again - or at Sue! Ben tells Reed that he should go home then, to handle those scenarios - he can handle this bout by himself!
Ben then punches the Hulk into a nearby warehouse, but he is puzzled when the green goliath doesn't come back out. Is it over? Did he beat him? Ben quickly follows his enemy inside, yelling taunts - most notably that Hulk's mom wears gamma-irradiated combat boots - but there's nobody there. There's another hole in the opposite wall, though, so he must've gotten out that way. As Ben heads through the darkened warehouse, his attention centered on the exit hole, he's suddenly ambushed! The Hulk is still inside the warehouse, it turns out, heaving an entire forklift over his head and demanding why 'Rock-man' bothers Hulk, and yells at Hulk? Why does Rock Man say bad things about Hulk's mother?! Ben muses to himself that he just got outmaneuvered by the Hulk, and he'll never live that down…
Ben is joined by Johnny and Reed again, who immediately blow up the forklift before it can be thrown - Hulk is surprised that 'flame-head' and 'rubber-man' are here too! Ben uses the distraction to smash the Hulk into some nearby boxes, proclaiming that while he appreciates the save by his teammates, he promised he'd clobber this guy solo, and he still aims to do just that! Hulk complains that he came to this place because it was dark and quiet, to get away from men with guns chasing him, hounding him. But now Rock-man attacked him for no reason! Ben, confused, wonders if he hit the guy a little too hard - does he have amnesia about his attack on the Baxter Building? Reed, after inspecting the exit hole in the wall, guesses more is going on. See, there's oversized footprints leading away from that exit hole…
Meanwhile, halfway around the world, we briefly visit the majestic Himalayas, where the secret refuge of the Inhumans is located. It turns out Crystal was called back home because the Sacred Helix of Randac, an endless wellspring of bio-energy which powers the Terrigen chambers, has been stolen from its pedestal! It has vanished, and Black Bolt can sense it nowhere in all of Attilan! Crystal concludes someone managed to infiltrate not just the hidden land, but the very Citadel of Science as well, and if the theft remains unrecovered it may mean the end for the entire Inhuman race! But who would do such a thing… and why? WHY? Of course, if you've been following along in this series, it's not hard to guess who might be responsible - his initials are DD!
Back at the warehouse Reed measures the size and length of stride of the footprints he found and matches them to the Hulk… which means they're not just dealing with one Hulk, but two! The first Hulk must have led Ben over here, to the place where the other was hiding! Ben restarts his conflict with the Hulk by kicking him away, prompting Reed to back him up - but he sends Johnny off to track down the second Hulk so he doesn't get away. The first, meanwhile, says that he remembers fighting Rock-man before - and didn't he claim to be better than the Hulk that time? Rock-man is wrong, for Hulk is strongest there is! And he'll prove it! 'You and what army?' Ben wonders, after which Hulk punches him across the room and into Reed, snarling that he needs no army - he needs only Hulk!
Ben quickly checks up on a stunned Reed, but it seems his injuries are minor. Nevertheless, the Hulk just got Ben mad, and that means the gloves are off! Ben swings in again for another round, while Johnny flies around and locates the second Hulk - he muses that there's not much he can do against a goliath like him, but at least he can get the beast's attention… with a blast of nova-flame! Dialing up his power, Johnny ignites the entire area around this second Hulk, and much to his surprise the creature quickly falls to his knees and then lies still on the floor. He's out like a light - but how?
Reed stumbles out of the exit hole and announces that he knows why… It's because this Hulk is actually a robot! It was sent by Doctor Doom, no doubt, just like the others. Reed adds that like all robots it depends on delicate circuitry which is sensitive to heat, so without proper shielding it was completely overloaded and shut down! Reed concludes from this that Doom must have set this entire situation up for some reason. He wanted this fight to happen, leading the Fantastic Four to the hiding place of the Hulk to get them into conflict! Johnny figures it means more than that, plus they just left Ben fighting the real Hulk by himself! They have to get back there pronto!
As Ben and Hulk exchange blows, focused on their fight, a small flying drone approaches them, quite similar to the one that broke into the Baxter Building in the first issue. While Ben is getting his ribs crushed by Hulk and he smacks the green giant's ears in return, the unseen drone sends out a red beam which hits the Hulk in the back and briefly staggers him. Ben thinks the stumble is his own doing and concludes that for all the Hulk's strength, it's anybody's fight now… and that means it's clobberin' time! With one more cataclysmic haymaker he lays out the giant, and the hit is so hard that a text box informs us that readers are left to write in their own onomatopoeia for the sound of the titanic final blow!
As the Hulk starts turning back into Bruce Banner, Ben can't quite believe it - that was it? One good haymaker and the Hulk folds like a cheap suitcase? He's not complaining, but… aw, nuts, when he hit the Hulk he must have already been changing back into his human form! He knew it was too good to be true, that he could beat the Hulk fair and square! Johnny and Reed come rushing back into the room and are shocked to see that the fight is over, while Ben plays it off - are they up for a bite to eat? Reed is surprised Ben is not injured at all, and figures Ben is just too ornery to get hurt. After helping up Bruce Banner, he suggests they all regroup with Sue, find Crystal, and figure out what clues they can glean from the Hulkbot.
Ben doesn't even want to know about any robots or whatever, and asks Banner if he's okay. He's not concussed or anything, right? The groggy doctor barely responds, clearly out of it. Reed tells Johnny to secure the Hulkbot so they can arrange to transport it back to the lab, while Ben assures Banner that he's with friends now, and they'll get him fixed up with some new clothes… they even have purple if he likes! Johnny flies off to retrieve the enemy he destroyed, but he's shocked to discover that the Hulkbot has completely disappeared…
Back in Doom's castle, we witness the monarch of Latveria luxuriate in his successful experiment - it worked perfectly! The Hulkbot led the Fantastic Four to the real Hulk, and they weakened him just enough for his flying drone's Psyche-Scalpel to lance into the brute's mind and retrieve the precious secrets he sought! It would have been pleasant if the Hulk had destroyed the Fantastic Four in the process, of course, but that was never the primary purpose of this endeavor. Doom then calls out to Boris, his ever-loyal servant, and commands him to prepare his experimental Luna-craft for launch. Doom now has the information he set out to acquire, which is the location of that which he wishes to possess. Now he will follow the trail laid out before him. He'll follow it to… the Moon!
Next: Mayhem on the Moon! Featuring the Black Panther and the (slightly) Sensational Silver Surfer!
WGCM #6 - Mayhem on the Moon!
We return, once more, to the Baxter Building. Sue has just gotten back from Whisper Hill and rushes into the lab wondering if everything is alright. She first sees Ben stomping around the place carrying a huge chunk of machinery (as usual) while Johnny uses his power to solder it together. When Sue asks about the threat of Doom, they tell her that said monarch is still nuttier than a piece of his aunt's pecan pie, but they're not sweating it. As per usual, Reed has a plan! Reed assures everyone that with the assistance of Doctor Bruce Banner he's developing a device which can track Doom's movements. He asks after Franklin, and Sue assures him he's fine, and that she wishes she could spend more time with him. She's distracted from the thought, however, when she takes a good look around the room they're in. This laboratory was completely gutted just a few days ago, but now it looks almost like Doctor Doom never struck at all!
Reed assures her that Doom was behind the attack, and that he assaulted more places than this one. In addition to infiltrating the FF's HQ and stripping it bare of many inventions, Doom also stole the Sub-Mariner's Atlantean trumpet horn, and he lured them into conflicts with A.I.M. and a pair of Sentinels! (I don't think the A.I.M. thing was actually him…) As Bruce can attest, he also duped them into battling the Hulk! Sue wonders what Doom is after, exactly, and Reed says that's what he hopes to learn - he decides that Doom is no petty thief, since he's too brilliant and proud to steal from others, so this is all highly unusual.
Johnny notes that Doom has never done anything even remotely normal… and speaking of the extraordinary, what exactly happened to Crystal? Sue nervously says she thought Reed had already explained? She's back with the Inhumans! Johnny agrees that he was told as much, but he figured Sue might know why. Or is an explanation too much to ask from those mighty Inhumans? It's not fair! With that, he storms off again…
Reed informs Sue that he and Bruce have a bit more work to do yet, so she should go after Johnny and talk to him. Sue agrees that she'll try, but what can she say? He's right that this whole affair is not fair to him - or to Crystal for that matter! Bruce coughs and mentions that there's actually not that much that still needs to be done… See, while Reed and his family were talking, Bruce took the liberty of prepping the locator device, and it's ready to go! Reed decides there's no sense in waiting, then, as the sooner they know where Doom is, the easier it will be to determine his next move! Ben asks why they don't just head over to Latveria and ring the doorbell, but Reed figures after their last encounter in Fantastic Four v1 #84-87, when a whole village was devastated, Doom wouldn't risk incurring such a loss again. He's probably holed up somewhere else! The tracker can't get a lock, however, which shouldn't be possible according to Bruce - it's got global reach! Reed concludes that this must mean Doom is no longer on Earth! Just as he suspected. Somehow.
Where is Doom, then? In the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism - space! He used his recently acquired Cosmic Cube to craft himself a Moon-rocket! It was simplicity itself, and it took only a fraction of the time normally required to reach his destination! This Cube truly is convenience personified, for with but the merest thoughts Doom's grandest wish can become a glorious reality! The Red Skull was a fool to let so precious a prize fall from his grasp. All is going exactly as he planned, and within seconds his next objective shall be realized - in the Blue Area of the Moon! Doom sets his ship down near a collection of lunar ruins and the home of Uatu the Watcher, and heads out towards his next objective…
Back at the Baxter Building, Johnny is still feeling sorry for himself, wondering why they keep doing this - why do the Inhumans always take Crystal away from him? Sue enters and tells him that she knows how he feels, but those people are still Crystal's family, so if they need her she's duty-bound to go to them! Johnny knows that, but it's not even about them anymore - it seems like they're on a never-ending treadmill here. There's always some new foe to face, and they hardly have any time to have a normal life! Is there ever going to be a time when Crys can just be the woman he loves? Or are they doomed to be apart forever? Sue argues he shouldn't even think such a thing. He and Crys will reunite, probably sooner than he thinks, but he can't let his heartache distract from the danger at hand. Everything will be alright - she promises that. Johnny apologizes and asks for a few minutes by himself. He'll be fine.
On the roof of the building Ben is awaiting company, as it seems Reed sent out a call for help. What arrives is a strange airship - Ben suspects they're the only building on the block that sees as many nutty contraptions coming as it does going! The ship opens to reveal T'Challa, the Black Panther, the King of Wakanda. He tells Reed that his duties as both a monarch and an Avenger can wait… for now. Reed invites him along on their journey to space, and T'Challa assures him that if the threat is as grave as the Four have indicated, then he can offer no less than his full support.
Bruce Banner mentions that this all makes him seem like something of a heel, since he'd like to help… but the Hulk is uncontrollable! Johnny assures him they understand his problem, and Bruce decides this is his cue to be on his way. He thanks Ben for the new clothes, which are some of Ben's old ones from when he was human… he hasn't been able to wear them since he turned orange and rocky. As Bruce leaves, Ben muses that he still doesn't understand how a weedy guy like that can turn into a rampaging Hulk!
We shift our gaze to the skies, where the enormous airborne arsenal of SHIELD flies by - it's the Helicarrier! Which is, at least today, pinkish purple, presumably to camouflage among Doom's drones. SHIELD's leader, Nick Fury, is informed by his subordinate Dum-Dum Dugan that his latest guests are about to arrive - Reed and friends. Fury explains that he and Reed go way back, and he still owes the man for helping SHIELD out a while back… but he's not so sure about this other guest he's currently housing at Reed's request. Dum-Dum agrees… Reed keeps some strange company! The Fantastic Four land T'Challa's vessel and quickly disembark, apologizing for this highly irregular visit, but stating there's no time for chatter! Fury says that they've tracked down the yahoo Reed was after and brought him here…
That other guest in question, it turns out, is none other than Norrin Radd - also known as the Silver Surfer! Ben figures this is the battiest reunion he's ever seen! Reed is not sure how much SHIELD briefed the Surfer about what's going on, but he explains they're in grave trouble! The Surfer asks how he can help, and Reed lays out the problem - he's almost certain Doctor Doom is on the way to the Blue Area of the Moon even now, presumably attempting to plunder the Watcher's cache of galactic wonders! They need a ship to get them there, and they need it immediately! The Silver Surfer states that the creation of such craft is simple for someone who wields the Power Cosmic, so they should step aside and observe as he alters the molecular structure of the vessel they arrived in!
The Surfer barely moves, but within moments the entire room crackles with the electrifying energy of the Power Cosmic and the Black Panther's ship is transformed into something more! Ben is amazed as the Surfer declares this vessel will serve their needs… and while he would accompany this mission himself, given that Doom has sought to betray him once before, due to the will of his former master Galactus he is forever bound to this world…! He cannot leave the Earth!
Meanwhile, on the Moon's surface, Doom concludes that he can't find where the Watcher is hiding out because the being actively seeks to evade him… Still, if he was aware of Doom's coming, surely he must also know that Doom walks where he wishes! Raising the Cosmic Cube up high, Doom uses the object of power to light his way, exercising the slightest thought to rip apart the camouflage which keeps the Watcher's home invisible. There it is, just as he suspected! Uatu shows up almost immediately, in all his old-school super-buff glory, and tells Doom to have a care - Uatu is the master here, and Doom does not know what powers he toys with! Doom snarls that the alien would do well to heed his own advice! Now he should give Doom what he seeks and avoid his wrath!
Uatu is already aware of what Doom wants - he's referring, of course, to the Watcher's Ultimate Machine - the most dangerous artifact in his possession! As he summons up panels from old comics, the Watcher describes how this is the same device the Leader manipulated the Hulk into wresting from him mere months ago… and which killed the Leader when he attempted to use it! (This all happened in Tales to Astonish #74.) Doom is not impressed by this continuity-fu, and he pulls out a reference of his own, declaring that the Watcher should save his parlor tricks for those easily blinded by half-truths! Using the Cube he summons up images from Incredible Hulk v1 #115, the next chronological appearance of the Leader, demonstrating that the villain in question did not in fact die, but returned to trouble the Hulk again! I guess we know what secret Doom stole from the Hulk's mind…
Uatu declares that regardless of the Leader's ultimate fate, he will still not allow Doom to gain possession of the device. He's aware of the path that Doom is on, and he cannot stand by while he continues! Doom demands to know if the Watcher really dares to challenge his will? Has he already forgotten that Doom now wields the Cosmic Cube?! With but a thought he can end all that is! 'Hold that thought, then!' a voice cries from off-panel, and suddenly Ben flings himself into the scene, tackling Doom with a cry of: 'It's clobberin' time!' He's come just in the nick of time, it looks like!
Doom incredulously realizes that the Fantastic Four have already caught up with him - Reed Richards is here? Ben muses that for an evil super-genius Doom isn't very quick on the uptake! Reed yells from afar that Ben should hold Doom there and wait for the rest of them to arrive, but Ben figures the rustbucket has earned a clobbering fair and square, and now he'll make the man pay up with interest! An irate Doom cries: 'You insufferable clod!' and snarls that not even the Thing's tremendous strength can prevail against the might of the Cosmic Cube! He sincerely doubts his misshapen form can survive the endless vastness of space! With a single empowered punch he then punts Ben into freaking orbit! Hot damn.
Reed incredulously mentions that he has heard of this Cosmic Cube before, but he thought it was lost forever! Doom just complains that he has neither the time nor patience to deal with Reed - but if it's conflict he seeks, then so be it! With that, Doom suffuses the entire area in red-hot cosmic lightning…
Too startled to react to the going-ons, Reed can only gasp in wonder as power surges forth from the Cosmic Cube and fuses with the surface of the Moon itself, and instantly the ground begins to rumble and rise. A veritable army of the Fantastic Four's most fearsome foes erupts from below the regolith in a mad, thunderous upheaval! Replicas of the Infact Terrible and Dragon Man rip themselves from the ground, alongside other former foes of the Fantastic Four - they're not the real thing, but with the Cosmic Cube at his command Doom can create a virtually limitless army of enemies from literal moon dust! Black Panther reminds us that he's still around by snarling that they'll see whether these soulless doppelgangers are a match for his feline prowess! Johnny calls dibs on the Sandman, while Reed warns the others to be careful, as these might be carbon copies of their enemies, but that doesn't mean they're harmless. To himself, he thinks Doom is just toying with them - trying to slow them down and separate them from each other. But if they don't defeat these constructs in a timely manner, Ben may be lost in space!
While Reed takes on a replica of the Mad Thinker's Awesome Android, Johnny dodges out of the way of Dragon Man's firebreath. Sue worries that while Black Panther sounded very confident just now, with that Cube in hand Doom could do anything he desired! And what happens when Doom has gotten what he came here for…? Mindless doubles of the Hate-Monger and the Hulk are one thing, but will they even stand a chance if they must face their power-crazed master!? Reed dodges a blow from the Awesome Android and concludes they're getting nowhere - the longer they're forced to deal with these distractions, the closer Doom comes to obtaining whatever he's after. He does criticize Doom for choosing to recreate their old foes, though - they've defeated the Mad Thinker's creation before, for example, and in this nearly weightless environment Reed can best him all on his own by employing his stretching abilities!
Still rocketing across the battlefield, Johnny blasts an arm off the Sandman-clone he's fighting and then moves on to a Super Skrull-copy, declaring that it's nice to fight these guys without having to listen to them spout their usual garbage about ruling the world or getting revenge! He then sheepishly admits - and nobody should let Doom in on this secret - that he kind of misses all those cornball lines! After all, who doesn't dig a scintillating soliloquy every now and then…?
Mere yards from the battle that erupted in the mysterious Blue Area of the Moon, the undisputed master of sinister speeches, Doctor Doom, confronts the all-seeing Watcher. He states that he's tarried here long enough, and says that if Uatu would like to see the battle ended, then he should submit himself to the will of Doom! The Watcher declares again that the power of his Ultimate Machine is not meant to be possessed by mortal man, least of all Victor von Doom! And though he is bound by the ageless customs of his race to merely observe events as they transpire, shirking his duty will create infinitely less havoc than would the treachery Doom intends to unleash upon the very cosmos itself! Suddenly manifesting a complicated device, Uatu charges Doom in clear violation of his oath, and Doom demands to know what folly this is. He'll…! With an almighty zap he's thrown violently away from his enemy, and the Cube nearly goes flying…
As Doom's body drops unmoving to the moon's surface, seemingly dead, Uatu declares that thus it ends - in all the universe, only the inhabitants of Earth have time and again forced him to break his vow, to alter the outcome fate has already planned! But alas, only on Earth has he also witnessed injustice on such a grand scale as to warrant such interference! With a gesture the Watcher summons the Cube into his own hand, and all the copies of monsters quickly disappear, dissolving back into the moondust from which they were created. Funnily enough, that means Black Panther managed to do absolutely nothing in this entire fight! T'Challa concludes that the fight between Doom and the Watcher must be over already, but Reed suspects it's not the end of their concerns by a long shot! They need to get to the ship and retrieve Ben! Before they can set out to do that, though, Sue cries out that something terrible is happening…
Lurching up from the moon's surface, Doom suddenly revives like a horror monster and immediately blasts Uatu in the face with a powerful beam from his gauntlet. Doom calls him a meddlesome fool as the Cube goes flying. Did the Watcher truly think that he would be so careless as to challenge him without first considering every possible contingency? Doom's armor is girded with nearly impenetrable cosmic alloy, he explains, such that the last attack merely left him stunned!
Sadly, the same cannot be said for the Watcher! The monarch quickly retrieves his Cube and observes that the Watcher is more of a nuisance than he had anticipated, and he possesses too much insight - enough, perhaps, to prevent him from achieving his ultimate goal! As such, he'll pay the ultimate price for this pathetic display of valor! Away with you! Doom then banishes Uatu to some other dimension, so that he might keep his vows better in the future.
Turning back to the Fantastic Four, it turns out that the Black Panther has lifted off in his spaceship to rescue the Thing. Reed and Johnny remain on the surface, though, and they try to grab Doom while he's distracted. Unfortunately the villain teleports away just moments before they manage it. Meanwhile, on board his ship, the Black Panther has managed to drag Ben inside from the void of space and attempts to determine if he's still breathing - it's tough to tell because of his rough-hewn hide! He's surprised when Doom suddenly materializes behind him, and the villain immediately announces that his worries for Ben are misplaced. Whether or not the Thing lives or dies doesn't matter, since they're both about to be destroyed!
T'Challa demands to know how Doom even got here, only for Doom to demonstrate by teleporting the rest of the Fantastic Four onto the ship as well with the power of the Cosmic Cube. Thus, he can at last bring the curtain down on this final turbulent tableau! Reed, clearly out of options at this point, tries to threaten Doom, but the villain isn't having any of it - he just tells Reed to stand his ground - for what Doom has to say won't take long! It's curious, Doom admits, but he expected his moment of ultimate victory to be more satisfying. Perhaps repaying Reed for years of treachery, for the ultimate cruelty of tampering with his laborious calculations upon their first meeting, will grant him peace of mind where merely defeating his most worthy foes does not? Reed doesn't even know what Doom is talking about - what is he up to now? Rubbing his armored forehead, an annoyed Doom declares that his ambitions are grander than one of Reed's limited intellect can ever grasp.
Doom refocuses on his goals, and remembers that, right, he has a wish-granting device now - why didn't he think of that before? To expedite matters he transports the Watcher's Ultimate Machine to his castle's inner sanctum by just thinking about it - that was easy! With his goal thus achieved, it means this audience is now running needlessly overtime. Before he destroys them all, though, Doom tells them that their attempt to prevent him from obtaining his goal here on the Moon was, sadly, quite futile! And now… goodbye! Doom teleports away, and Sue wonders what they should do now? Doom sounded so sure of himself! Johnny figures he's crazier than ever, and he thought Doom was going to…
His thoughts are violently interrupted when their spaceship detonates around them, seemingly killing everyone onboard…
Next: The Fantastic Four trapped in space!
Rating & Comments
Objectively, the entirety of this series up to this point has been elaborate sidequest atop sidequest, a series of adventures involving the Fantastic Four getting distracted by all sorts of diversions while the Big Bad does furious ab crunches in the background to warm up for the inevitable fight. Mostly they've been duking it out with big dumb robots, honestly. We don't really get a reprieve from that, here - not technically - but I did like the next two issues the most out of the six I've covered thus far, with the final one obviously standing out because Doom actually gets to face off against his foes, instead of just doing vague menacing background voodoo where nobody except his minions can see it. That said, these two issues are also quite different from each other, so let's get into the first of them…
Up front, it's clear that the Hulk issue is basically entirely filler content - Doom got his magic Cube doohickey last issue, but he won't really use it until the next one, so we spend some time having a bit of fun with the Fantastic Four who are still running around like headless chickens, even after Reed fixed that whole brain-scrambling issue. I'm not sure why they retconned the reason for Reed's dumbing down, but it does make sense to couple his lowered intellect with the surveillance - now you can strike down two problems with one solution! I am amused by the idea that even while his brain was foggy, Reed was still so ridiculously intelligent that he could make huge amounts of complicated machines - just not quite as absurdly quickly as usual! The reveal that Doom is responsible for everything is a bit dampened by the fact that readers have known that for four issues already, and it was never a very complicated puzzle anyway. Literally any of them could have figured that out…
It's cute that Doom uses the Cosmic Cube to summon up a character from the relative future, by the way - one of the benefits of this continuity insert business, where you pretend it was published in the 70's, is that you can put in mythology gags like this! That works even better for time-travelers. It's similar to that one story where Doom traveled forward to various X-Men adventures that hadn't happened yet in his timeline! And of course summoning up a Hulkbot to be a nuisance turns out to be, just like in all the previous issues in this series, just another multi-layered plot to get something Doom wants for his obscure shit collection. Seriously though, Doctor Doom is a bit of a hoarder in this miniseries, just gathering all sorts of fancy artifacts together without much effort - it's kind of impressive how this guy just robs Atlantis and Attilan without them even noticing until he's already finished, never mind the time-travel heist… and the Moon! Dude's on a roll.
There's a theme in these issues, I've noticed, where they each spend a page or two on scene-setting - Johnny's relationship with Crystal is brought up a bunch, and Ben's self-loathing and his relationship with Alicia are accounted for too, all reflected what was going on in the 70's comics. Of course, all that retroactive character development gets put on hold when the Hulkbot shows up, and the rest of the comic is almost entirely devoted to big dumb fighting, so there is that. Still, we get a funny gag where the writers ask the reader to insert sound effects since the blow is so dramatic they couldn't come up with a good one. Heh! Those sorts of cheeky author's notes were relatively common in the early days. Ben figures out pretty quickly that something is screwy, since the 'Hulk' is even less talkative than usual during their fight and isn't jumping everywhere either, but he doesn't really act on that knowledge… Nobody does until later, so I have to assume they're slow on the uptake because those brainwaves still haven't fully recovered.
It's not until the big dumb fight with the Hulk and the fake robot Hulk are complete that Doom's plot is finally explained - and it turns out he used that fake Hulk to lure the team into a conflict with the real one, so he could take advantage of that mess to stealthily get what he really wants. Which, it turns out, is knowledge. Blinded by rage, not even the Hulk notices that someone siphoned information from his mind with a hidden drone… While Doom claims that the information he retrieved from the Hulk's brain was the location of his next object of interest, the next issue suggests he also picked up some continuity information about the Leader. It's fun to see that the writers clearly did their homework and referenced as many real canon events from this time period as they could!
The second issue is the 'main event' - at least as far as the first half of this maxiseries is concerned. The opening segment is almost entirely irrelevant beyond more scene-setting (including shuttling Bruce Banner out the door because Hulk's contractual appearance in this series has been fulfilled) but it does have Reed try to sell the idea that Doom is no petty thief, that he's too proud to steal from others. Never mind that we've seen him do that in this series, and his debut was literally him kidnapping the team so they could steal some gemstones for him. He's more the grand larceny kind of guy than petty thievery, sure, but I think the robberies so far have been fairly high profile objects so that probably still works out. I also appreciate that Reed justifies why they don't just go visit Doom in his castle - like Doom himself they know that place was nearly burned down to the ground last time they fought, so Doom is probably in no hurry to risk it again so soon. Though why they don't remember the castle in New York is anyone's guess.
I mentioned the contractual obligation thing earlier? Well, Black Panther shows up for absolutely no reason, and he doesn't really add anything to this issue beyond posing and bantering. He delivers an airship, sure, but contractual obligation guy #2, the Silver Surfer, promptly turns it into a spaceship and then they're off. These are the Fantastic Four, they're not exactly short on flying vehicles or spaceships, usually. I guess Doom's minions wrecked them all? The entire sequence where they head to SHIELD really feels like it's just present to include characters who have absolutely no relevance, beyond that they haven't happened to show up in this miniseries yet. Bleh. At least they stuck with continuity pretty well, since the Silver Surfer did indeed spend some time with SHIELD while he was stuck on Earth in the early 70's…
Doom, meanwhile, is doing something way cooler than all of that - he's challenging the super-buff Uatu! I'm honest, I'm not sure how powerful the Cosmic Cube is actually supposed to be? Sometimes Doom casually makes entire spaceships with it, but other times he just creates a single Hulk robot that's pretty handily dealt with. Here he materializes an army of moondust villains, but he still risks getting blown the hell up by the Watcher, so he was either too confident in his defenses, or genuinely surprised. Why is he ever in danger at all if he can casually pull out ridiculous power with a thought? Seems like Doom should practice the use of his new toy a little better! Why does he even need to get this fancy machine from the Watcher anyway, if he's already got a wish-granting machine? Couldn't he just wish for one of his own? I guess he remembers that towards the end of the issue…
I'll be honest, having the Watcher and Doom try to out-continuity each other is far more entertaining than the subsequent dumb brawl - except for the fact that Doom punches the Thing into outer space! That's pretty awesome. Also the panel in which he actually summons the moondust-monsters is sick… even if they never really do much except look menacing and have an off-screen fight. The Watcher breaks his oath so often it's honestly not even a surprise he does it here, but he does come off as pretty decisive about it, seemingly going for a killing blow right away. And then, of course… Doom's resurgence! He prepared for this eventuality by using the Cube to enhance his own armor, and he exiles the Watcher for his trouble! Not sure why Doom didn't just kill the meddlesome guy, but presumably he didn't want to deal with the weird cosmic bullshit behind his particular race again. Ugh.
Doom follows this up by just casually interrupting the Black Panther's rescue attempt of Ben Grimm, before teleporting everyone together into the spaceship so he can deliver an elaborate speech to an actual audience. He realizes belatedly that he's got ultimate power and the speech is getting boring, so he promptly detonates the spaceship! This very much reminds me of Doom towards the end of Secret Wars, where he gained the Beyonder's powers and casually nuked a gathering of the heroes conspiring against him. Doom is already getting bored of everything being easy, and he's barely even done anything yet! I suspect this is going to play into how he's ultimately taken down. Things are going far too easily for Doom not to get antsy about it.... That said, damn, Doom is racking up some real feats in this series, right? He's gathered together a whole bunch of artifacts of boundless power by now, and clearly even these are just part of his plan! The Cosmic Cube is just the beginning for whatever his masterstroke is going to be. Gotta love this guy's chutzpah!
I quite like both these throwback issues, but for very different reasons - the Hulk one is just a fun filler romp with a secret Doomspiracy in the background, while the Watcher issue is just full on epic Fantastic Four vs. Doom drama of the sort we haven't really seen much in recent years. It gave me 'let's shoot the Baxter Building into space!' vibes, it's great. I also really like the subtle touches here, like giving Black Panther those silly tiny dot eyes (even if he doesn't really do anything) and making continuity an actual plot point given how heavily the writers clearly researched the chronology of the characters. Add the badass feats Doom racks up and the plot that's actually shaping up to be more compelling than 'FF fights various robots', and I'm on board for the rest of this ride. Four stars! Okay writers, it took you like five issues, but I'm fully on board.
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
"Bah!"
"It matters not! Even if [they] knew the full truth, the Fantastic Four could not stop me - not now! I only sought to confuse and delay them during the formative stages of my plan. But now - it is far, far too late! For Doom has power now - power beyond imagining. Power that will be set in motion - without DELAY!"
"So! The one I seek would attempt to evade me! Fool! If you were aware of my coming, you must also know that Doom walks where he wishes! Especially when he has the Cosmic Cube to light his way!"
"You dare challenge the will of Doom? Have you forgotten that I now wield the Cosmic Cube?! With but a thought I can end all that is!"
"Bah! I have neither the time nor the patience to deal with you now, Richards! However, if it is conflict you seek... then so be it!"
"Meddlesome FOOL! Did you truly think I would be so careless as to challenge you without first considering every possible contingency?"
"It's curious, though... I had expected my moment of victory to be more... satisfying... but perhaps repaying you for years of treachery, for the ultimate cruelty of tampering with my laborious calculations upon our first meeting... will grant me peace of mind whereas merely defeating my most worthy of foes does not!"
"My ambitions are grander than one of your limited intellect could ever grasp, I'm afraid."
Doom-Tech of the Week
Technically he just makes stuff with the Cosmic Cube and doesn't really build it here, so I don't think his spaceship or enhanced armor count, and the Hulkbot was just kidnapped from elsewhere in time and not a Doom original either. But that Psyche-Scalpel he used to steal thoughts from the Hulk (or more likely Bruce Banner's submerged consciousness) definitely counts! I suppose the Infesti-Eyes do too, those surveillance machines he apparently spread all around the Baxter Building.
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My favorite bit is Reed reacting to Doom ranting about revenge with "What are you talking about?"
(As I mentioned previously, I like to imagine that their rivalry in college was mostly one-sided, and Reed entirely forgot about Doom until he showed up trying to kill him.)
(As I mentioned previously, I like to imagine that their rivalry in college was mostly one-sided, and Reed entirely forgot about Doom until he showed up trying to kill him.)
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- Pronouns
- He/Him
This is unusually cautious and thoughtful of Doom. Normally, he would just assume that the failures of the Red Skull and the others who have used the Cube is due to their total inferiority to Doom
I wonder if the one he used in Super-Villain Team-Up #12 was the perfected version of this experimental craft
MORE surprising caution from Doom! I'm surprised he had to probe the Hulk's mind to know the leader survived, though, when he has so much other information at his fingertips. More likely he was looking for information on the location and use of the Ultimate Machine (though he must have known something about it in the first place, since it is key to this whole plan.
I imagine he was taking no chances about possibly involving the other Watchers, or other cosmic forces by just killing Uatu
I suspect what he meant is that Doom is too proud to steal things normally, since it implies he cannot build that thing or better himself. He only steals things he cannot reproduce, or doesn't have the time to. He also doesn't steal just to have stuff either. Note that he only took the Ultimate Machine, even though he could easily have looted the Watcher's entire home
Throughout these two issues, we see Doom slowly gaining more confidence with the Cube. He takes much longer to adjust to it's full potential than the Red Skull did, possibly because he is being more cautious. At first, he only uses it to enhance his own technology (build his lunar-craft instantly, make his armor into a more durable alloy, power his robot) but by the end he realizes he never even needed a ship since he can teleport. He didn't even have to come to the Moon, since he can just wish the item's wherever he wants them. He didn't have to create monsters to fight the FF. He can just blow them up.
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Huh, that's a good point!
Variant 13: MC2 - Fantastic Five #5 (2000)
- Location
- Netherlands
Variant 13: MC2 - Fantastic Five v1 #5 (February 2000)
Covers
Nice to see you again, Giant Cover Doom! We're back for more 'MC2' universe material, this time featuring the Fantastic Four analogue from that timeline instead of the Avengers - and an extra member! The lineup also includes Stinger, the superhero identity of Ant-Man's daughter Cassie, and I think I can guess why she's here again.
As shown in previous issues, Cassie and the Kristoff Vernard of MC2 were in a relationship, making her the closest thing to a supporting cast that his particular version of 'Doctor Doom' has. Yup, it's another Kristoff gig today! Victor von Doom himself is still conspicuously missing from this continuity, but we'll get into what exactly happened to him later - several publication years down the line. For now, we'll see what's up with his heir…
Story Overview
In Search of Doom!
Mere moments after having a late brunch the Fantastic Five are subjected to a burst of light which resolves into a startling image. Hovering in the air above them is the mask of Doctor Doom with glowing red eyes, glaring down at all of them! Ben wonders if he should've avoided that last piece of kielbasa - not only did it upset his delicate tummy, but now he's starting to hallucinate! Franklin tells him to relax, arguing that it was only a visual transmission that's already beginning to fade. Ben thinks there's something real spooky going on here - or somebody just went to a lot of effort to switch long distance carriers. Johnny asks the robotic team member Big Brain to trace the signal, while Lyja guesses it was some sort of warning - but who sent it? Doctor Doom used to be the team's greatest enemy, but she thought he was dead! Johnny agrees with that sentiment - and so does the rest of the world!
Johnny then explains the same thing we've learned before - Doctor Doom disappeared a few years earlier during a savage battle with the Sub-Mariner, vanishing from the streets of his own capital city of Doomstadt in Latveria. Johnny also reminds everyone of the fiasco a few months back when Doom was allegedly spotted back in his old stomping grounds, and the new Avengers were sent to check out those rumors.
What a joke! Not only did those losers fail to find any trace of him, but they accidentally set off some self-destruct mechanism which took out Doom's old headquarters! (See my previous MC2 coverage for the skinny on what really happened.)
Big Brain reports that he has good news, as he managed to track the transmission of the Doom-mask to a distant corner of South America, but - get this - it was broadcast over an old Fantastic Four emergency band! Lyja figures it makes sense Doctor Doom would know those old frequencies, but Franklin says that this applies to both the original Doom… but also to his heir, Kristoff Vernard! Johnny admits that Kristoff's involvement is an intriguing possibility here - either way, though, it's time to fire up the pogo plane and see who called! Ben regretfully says he has to give this mission a pass, and Johnny belatedly realizes that the big guy's children are coming for a visit today. No problem - Ben can spend some time with his twins. Besides, that gives Johnny an excellent excuse to call it a temporary replacement…
That replacement turns out to be, of course, Stinger of the Avengers. Cassie says it's just like old times to be there - it seems like ages since she and her dad hung out with them! Johnny asks after her father Scott, and Stinger jokes that he's crabby as usual, stating that Scott just asked her to say 'Hi!' on his behalf. Johnny admits it's really good to see her again, but she's not here just to renew old ties. She was the leader of the Avengers' recent investigation into Doctor Doom, and while Johnny read and reread the official reports, the details don't add up. Cassie hesitates for a moment and asks to speak off the record - and promptly admits those reports are pure bushwah! While the Avengers didn't find the real Doom in Latveria, they did discover that his heir was still alive. Since Kristoff had access to all of the good Doctor's terrible secrets, he feared that certain parties might try and exploit him, so he asked the Avengers to conceal his existence. Johnny admits he suspected as much. Cassie points out, though, that Kristoff wouldn't have initiated contact, not unless he was in grave danger!
Back at the tower, Ben is a bundle of nerves as he anticipates the arrival of his children. Johnny and Lyja's son Torus tells him to chill, saying that he's sure his twins are fine, but Ben snaps that he isn't the one who has to call his ex-wife to tell her that her kids are missing! According to the airline they should still be in Los Angeles, about to board their plane - but those two juvenile delinquents apparently canceled their reservations! This is all their mother Sharon Ventura's fault, he decides - he always told her she was spoiling them! What were they thinking? Where are they? 'Right behind you,' a voice speaks from the elevator, before adding that their mom usually blames their behavior on Ben instead! Alyce enters and suspects their mom forgot to tell Ben that they took an earlier flight. Jake follows her in and greets his pops cheerfully. Notably, unlike his regular human-looking sister, Jake resembles the Thing in his early appearances, all lumpy orange.
Off in the South-American jungle, Stinger mentions that she doesn't get it - why are they sneaking in the back door if Kristoff needs them? Johnny tells her to simmer down, saying that while the Avengers might like to blunder in and hope for the best, the F5 favors subtlety. The truth is that they don't know who exactly sent the message, so they should be wary. Lyja agrees with this, but she tells Johnny he could be more polite about saying that. They may be heading into a trap! Stinger apologizes for her brashness. She knows that the F5 are the real pros, but she's just worried about Kristoff. Big Brain says that they all are, since Kristoff is like a member of the family. He practically grew up in the old Fantastic Four headquarters, after all. Anyway, according to his mobile tracker they're now within a mile of the transmission's source! Johnny thanks him for the update, and decides they'll break into smaller teams and close in from different directions…
Watching from afar on a monitor, a figure with a spiky, devilish outline and green gloves states that Johnny is very subtle - but this entire jungle was once the private property of the original Doctor Doom, and he made all the appropriate preparations for uninvited guests. Preparations that this new villain managed to breach and employ against Doom's own heir! We also see a figure in Doom-style armor in the foreground, frozen in a stasis tube - that's Kristoff, presumably. He differs from our usual Doom in that he's wearing some sort of golden shoulderpads over his cloak.
The dark figure comments that he made a few cosmetic changes to Doom's old secret base when he took up residence - turns out it's mostly lots of magical reagents and candles. Though the Fantastic Four might now call themselves the Fantastic Five, the villain declares, they are still his old and much despised enemies - and he shall soon destroy them all!
Back in the forest, Stinger asks Franklin about Johnny's opinion on the Avengers - why's he so down on them, anyway? They're new kids on the block, sure, but could he be any less supportive? Franklin explains that Johnny has been with the world's greatest super-team since he was a teenager, so he's a bit of a snob when it comes to other hero groups. To tell her the truth, Franklin's been guilty of that himself... She should've heard what he said to Spider-Girl a few weeks ago! He's interrupted when a nearby rock suddenly bursts apart and reforms into some kind of elemental golem. Stinger quickly shrinks while Franklin dodges the golem's blows, commenting that the big lug kind of reminds him of his Uncle Ben…
Speaking of uncles, Johnny comes flying in to attack - only for Stinger to be forced to dodge his fireballs. What the hell? That's not the Human Torch at all, is it? Nope! The fire elemental announces he is the living flame that will consume her, and tries to reach out with flaming hands, but Stinger blasts him away with her beams. While dropping some truly inane mid-fight banter, they then unleash their attacks upon each other once again…
Meanwhile, the real Johnny is hanging out near a waterfall, wishing that Lyja wouldn't needle him so much in front of the rest of the team, even if he deserves it! He owes Cassie an apology now, as he had no reason to mock her team and he should have been more considerate of her feelings. He knows she and Kristoff have had a thing for each other ever since they were kids. Johnny is then suddenly ambushed by the water in front of him, which forms into a water elemental and tries to flush him away. Johnny manages to avoid the wave and turns his flames on, observing that there's something familiar about this elemental. The creature announces that Johnny fought his brother elementals long ago, but he has learned from their mistakes! Johnny approves, since there's nothing more boring than a rehashed fight!
Big Brain and Lyja, meanwhile, run into a fourth elemental, one representing air.
Lyja asks the robot member of the team what they're facing here, and Big Brain helpfully explains that the Fantastic Four battled a similar creature years ago. The elemental agrees with that assessment - but knowledge of that fight will not save him! Their master has added to their power… and the team! A fifth elemental then joins the party, this one made of living electricity. Big Brain figures this one was sent after him specifically because the elemental's master believes he could short out his internal circuitry. It's a pity they didn't take out his personal force field first - or take into consideration the speed and maneuverability of his omni-pod which he uses to fly! Lyja asks Big Brain how to take on these foes, and the robot has some ideas…
Still watching all this on his screens, the shadowed figure says that it's amazing that even though Reed's brain has been transplanted into that absurd-looking robot, Reed remains as arrogant as ever! (He's wrong about that entirely, by the way.) The villain then reveals himself to be an old and familiar foe - the Fantastic Five are still no match for Diablo, the Master of Alchemy!
For far too many years he has sought the destruction of the Fantastic Whatever-Number they call themselves! He hates them, and no longer shall they stand between him and his dream of world domination! Ironic, isn't it? His dream will now be realized thanks to his thrice-cursed rival Doctor Doom!
Fate brought Kristoff into his hands, he recounts - yes, he knows who the boy is! Though Kristoff had a falling out with his former guardian and chose to live among his most abhorred enemies, the boy still harbors Doom's forbidden knowledge. Diablo shall combine his arcane spells and ancient potions with Kristoff's modern weapons of destruction, and woe unto those who would defy him! Diablo activates the controls on the stasis tube to unfreeze Kristoff in order to extract the information he desires. The moment he does, however, there's a subtle click from Kristoff's mask, and he announces that Diablo should beware - for Doom is no man's plaything!
Outside, Lyja transforms and grow wings so she can fly in the wind elemental's storm, then leads him through the trees to try and diminish the force of his gusts. She spots Stinger up ahead, and it looks like she's having just as much fun! Lyja and Stinger briefly confer about their respective enemies and realize that these creatures were only designed to take on the Fantastic Five - so let's see how well they do against each other! They lure the two elementals into smashing against each other with a last minute swerve, which causes the fire creature to grow bigger by consuming the one made of wind.
Johnny then flies in with the water elemental on his tail and lures that into the fire elemental in turn, and not much is left of it after that. Johnny also yells out an apology to Stinger at the same time over his earlier comments - he can be a real jerk sometimes!
Diablo watches the screen in disappointment. No, no! The water elemental extinguished his fire creature! Is it any wonder that he detests the Fantastic Five? Talk about an absolute lack of courtesy! Why can't they just have the good manners to die already? If magic can't prevail against them, Diablo decides, then he'll just have to drag something out of Doom's arsenal! He's sure he saw some kind of disintegrator gizmo in the corner besides the broom closet! Kristoff, still in the tube, mentions that he believes that particular apparatus is actually a robotic vacuum cleaner. Not that it really matters - now that he's managed to free himself! Kristoff then smashes himself free from the stasis chamber by shattering its glass covering. Diablo, shocked at the fact that Kristoff can move, goes 'Uh-oh!'
Diablo nervously argues Kristoff shouldn't be too hasty - he mustn't do anything he'll regret! Perhaps they should join forces? Kristoff snarls that he'd sooner ally himself with Mephisto instead! It's about time he claimed his birthright as the sole heir of the legacy of Doctor Doom - no longer is he to be called 'Kristoff.' He is Doom! The self-proclaimed Doom then opens fire with his hand blasts and Diablo quickly ducks away, wondering if the insolent pup meant 'doomed' instead. Doom effortlessly dodges a pit trap Diablo opens under his feet while the diabolic villain rushes up the stairs. He then asks if they can postpone this battle for the next hour or so? Doom asks why, and Diablo awkwardly points out that he's already involved in a minor dispute with the, uh, Fantastic Five…
Outside, the Fantastic Five used the electrical elemental to evaporate the water elemental, before using the earth elemental to ground out the electric one. Four down, only one to go! The earth golem proclaims that he is the strongest and most powerful of them all, and they shall not deter him! Franklin telekinetically shoves the thing into a nearby stream, and while it declares that it will take more than such puny tricks to stop him, it soon begins to get ripped apart by the rushing currents and goes out in an echo of the Wicked Witch - he's melting, melting! Lyja swoops down from the sky and tells everyone that they can't worry about that thing anymore - they still have to rescue Kristoff! She suggests everyone follow her, since she spotted a castle in the distance…
The Fantastic Five rush into the courtyard of said castle, only to find Doom waiting there with a captive Diablo, stating that it's about time they finally arrived! Cassie removes her helmet and asks if it's really Kristoff, and he confirms that it's him - in the flesh! Now, what is she doing here? Cassie explains that the F5 called her when they received his transmission - it seems he was the one who sent that emergency transmission after all!
Kristoff removes his mask and admits he really missed her, before kissing Cassie right then and there. Johnny muses that he's glad they could reunite the lovebirds - but where do they go from here? Kristoff wonders what he means, and Big Brain observes that if Diablo learned of Kristoff's existence, others must surely also be aware of the survival of Doom's heir. Kristoff decides that there's only one solution now, with his anonymity ruined. For his own safety, he must join the Fantastic Five!
Back at the Fantastic Five's headquarters, meanwhile, Ben's twins are showing off to Johnny's son Torus - Jake is casually carrying heavy equipment around like his father tends to, stating he's just warming up. Alyce lights up with some kind of plasma energy and flies around with a purple aura, shooting beams to completely obliterate the machine her brother was carrying. She's soooo impressed with his strength! Jake complains that he's heard about sibling rivalry, but this is ridiculous! Ben comes charging into the room to see what all the commotion is about. What are the kids up to now? The three children turn to him and announce that they were just getting ready for their auditions - hasn't he guessed why they're really here in town? They want to join the F5!
The end... for now.
Rating & Comments
Well! It's been a long time since Diablo has shown up in this readthrough, hasn't it? He's not a particularly prolific villain to begin with, at least compared to headliners like Magneto or Doom, so it's nice to see him pop up again here and there! As some dialogue in this issue suggests, he's not the only returning bad guy here - the Elements of Doom (and yes, they were already named that) debuted back in Fantastic Four v1 #232 as creations of Diablo. Notably, the lightning-themed one seems to be a new innovation on top of the classical four - which is fitting, given the fact that he's now fighting the Fantastic Five with his minions! Kind of. Ben took the day off.
The MC2 future incarnation of the Fantastic Four has its own weird quirks going on, which set it apart from other such continuities: Ben has a metal arm, Johnny is sort of balding, and I'm pretty sure the 'Big Brain' robot is a reference to HERBIE from one of the animated shows, and stands in for Reed while Lyja takes over for Sue. Franklin is also there, but honestly he's pretty forgettable for the most part. We also meet Johnny and Ben's kids, and they're all… something. Who names their child Torus? Also, I am not sure which of Ben's children I should be asking questions about. Apparently Ben had kids with Sharon Ventura - and one of them looks rocky, while the other doesn't? I assume Sharon was still the She-Thing here, so… does she have a womb made of rock? Which produced a normal human child and a boulder? Do I even want to imagine how this actually works…?
Leaving the weird family dynamics aside, a fair amount of time is spent on team dynamics in the field too - Johnny is sort of stuck-up and snooty here rather than just hotheaded, and dismissive of the current lineup of Avengers, which naturally rubs Cassie the wrong way since she's on that team. The friction between Johnny and the younger Stinger gets brought up again when she speaks to Franklin, and he admits to being a bit of a snob himself - there's some self-awareness, at least. All this background material gets abruptly shoved aside, though, for the obligatory fight scenes - which, as usual, takes up a fairly significant chunk of this issue while also adding little or nothing to the actual story being told. The Elements of Doom just serve as cannon fodder to keep the team busy.
The real plot revolves around the villain of the hour, who gets a 'Who's this Pokémon' shadowy introduction even though his headpiece is super-distinctive. Diablo doesn't come as remotely competent in this issue, despite the fact that he apparently successfully took over one of Doctor Doom's old bases and captured Kristoff - but that's mostly because he didn't prepare for anything to go wrong. The comic implies that Kristoff was the one who sent the transmission of his Doom-mask to the Fantastic Five without Diablo's knowledge, so one wonders why he knew to spread his elementals around to lay in ambush? I guess he just saw them coming from a long way off with Doom's old technology, even though he seems incapable he is of actually understanding how any of it works. It might explain why he's rushing to get the information he wants out of Kristoff, though - the heroes kind of got here before he was ready for them!
Diablo comes off as even more cartoonish than Doom tends to be, by the way - he actually shouts that he wants world domination, and 'woe unto those who would defy me!' and other such stereotypical villain banter. As if in response, Kristoff plays up his own theatrics too - he frees himself from captivity after Diablo makes the dumb mistake of allowing him to think (which reminds me of the whole Hyperstorm debacle) and then claims the name of Doom for himself, dismissing the name of Kristoff in dramatic fashion. He is Doom! It is kind of hilarious how Diablo immediately shits himself when he realizes he has to take on Kristoff directly while his forces are getting decimated by the Fantastic Five. Given that we don't even see the fight between them, just a defeated Diablo caught up in chains, it's clear that the alchemist was the doomed one from the start…
Despite claiming the title of Doom minutes earlier, Kristoff is pretty quick to reclaim his name when Cassie calls out to him, and we get a retread of the ending of their previous encounter, complete with kiss. Of course, the reason they split up last time around is because Kristoff was going into hiding… and since he got flushed out by freaking Diablo, his secret must be out. Everyone is readily on board that if this numbskull managed to track Kristoff down, clearly smarter people have figured it out too, which is just amusing. Kristoff decides there's strength in numbers, and if he can't be anonymous he'll just have to join the Fantastic Five… and given that we also see signs that the various children of the team want to join up, this might be angling for a new Fantastic line-up in future books in MC2. We'll see, I guess, since we'll be back for volume 2 of this series, during which the actual Doctor Doom makes his appearance.
While this comic is mostly just mindless fight scenes against the various Elements of Doom, I was quite amused by how Diablo was essentially played for laughs as such a pathetic villain that Kristoff didn't even need to try and beat him… If he hadn't been ambushed to begin with, it would have never been a contest. It did feel like this was crawling back a bit from the Avengers issue, though - the self-imposed exile didn't last very long, and joining the world's most famous superhero team is rather more dramatic than the anonymity Kristoff was looking for. Besides that, all the 'next generation of misfits' aspects of this issue didn't interest me much. The banter also got really overbearing and dumb in places, but I'll refrain from docking it to two stars just because of Diablo begging for an IOU on getting his ass beaten.
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
"Beware, Diablo - Doom is no man's plaything!"
Diablo: "Let's not be hasty, Kristoff! You mustn't do anything you'll regret. I think we should join forces --!"
Doom: "I'd sooner ally myself with Mephisto himself! It's time I claimed my birthright as the sole heir to the legacy of Doctor Doom. No longer am I to be called 'Kristoff!' I am DOOM!"
"There's only one solution. For my own safety - I must join the Fantastic Five!"
Doomsday-Tech of the Week
Either Diablo has no awareness of technology whatsoever, or Doom uses a disintegrator as a Robotic Vacuum Cleaner... I could see either one, really.
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Variant 14: Marvel Knights - Fantastic Four 1234 #1-2 (2001)
- Location
- Netherlands
Variant 14: Marvel Knights - Fantastic Four 1234 (October-November 2001)
Introduction
Marvel Knights is a special imprint of Marvel Comics which contains standalone stories which aren't technically part of the mainline Marvel universe, sort of. It's tough to tell, sometimes, since they're officially taking place in the mainline 616 universe, but the events are ignored in other titles. It's messy. The imprint started back in 1998 when the Marvel company was being reorganized due to bankruptcy, and they outsourced versions of relatively low-profile characters like Black Panther, the Punisher, Daredevil, and the Inhumans. The success of those outsourced projects allowed for more high-profile characters like Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four to join in as well. Later (around 2006) the name 'Marvel Knights' would be redefined and used for various different limited series, before finally going dormant around 2013 (with a brief resurgence in 2018 for the 20th anniversary.)Marvel Knights stories tend to be more mature and experimental than more mainline comics, and that includes the art and writing - in the case of the series I'm covering today, that means we're dealing with Grant Morrison as the author. Yup, that one. Morrison has written extensively for DC Comics, penning lengthy runs on Animal Man, Doom Patrol, JLA, Action Comics, and Green Lantern, as well as numerous others. They also wrote the rather awesome All-Star Superman. Morrison's best known DC work is a seven-year Batman storyline which started in the Batman ongoing series and continued through Final Crisis, Batman and Robin, Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne and two volumes of Batman Incorporated. Basically, they're comic writing royalty. They're joined here by Jae Lee, who won the 1999 Eisner Award for his work on the Inhumans, and also got nominated in 2002 for best Cover Artist for his work on the series I'm covering today. Pretty sweet!
The origins of this particular story are… a bit messy, and nothing makes that more clear than this pre-publication statement from the author:
"I've worked out this whole Freudian shit. The incest thing in The Fantastic Four. What you've got is a family. There's Reed and Sue, the Mom and Dad. Johnny's the big brother and Ben's the little crazy baby. But in that situation you've got Johnny and Sue — brother and sister! So there's an incest thing that the Fantastic Four hides. I looked at it and said, okay, Sue actually wants to fuck Johnny and Johnny wants to fuck Sue. So how do you do that? They make Namor, the Sub-Mariner who is always a linked pair with Johnny. The Human Torch and the Sub Mariner have always been together since the '40s. Namor is the dark, seedy, watery, wet, dirty side of it. And Johnny's bright, mercurial. So he doesn't fuck his sister — but Namor does."
Thankfully that version of the comic never happened, and the incest-y plot just stayed a fucked-up idea in Morrison's head. Clearly, though, this creator's idea of the Fantastic Four was never going to be something recognizable to the common depiction… So let's see what we actually got!
Covers
It's not a huge surprise that the covers of these issues are pretty good - Jae Lee did nearly win a prize for them! The first is a grungy take on Yancy Street, which is usually depicted as a poor neighborhood rife with crime and urban decay. We also see someone looking out towards the Baxter Building in the distance, with the iconic '4' blazing in the sky above the place. The guy looks too skinny to be a disguised Ben, but he's got the same cliché outfit - that of a faux noir detective. The second cover, meanwhile… depicts infidelity on full display! Stupid sexy Namor. I like the dramatic picture of Reed in the background yelling about what's happening. Sue, girl, I know that Namor is basically sex on legs in most depictions, but come on now…Story Overview
1. Once Upon a Time… On Yancy Street…
Wow. Gotta say, the art in this one is remarkable - very different from the usual Fantastic Four fare. From the very first panel it's very detailed and there's plenty of elaborate staging going on, plus a dash of painterly coloring and a layer of dirt and grime that seems to cover everything. Deep shadows, gleaming eyes in the darkness, lightning in the darkness, cracks in the pavement, unique visual takes on familiar themes - it's dystopian and grungy from the start, and that's without anyone even saying a word! We're in for a dark one, here.
We open on Ben Grimm wearing his classic tan trenchcoat-and-hat disguise as he's standing on a pile of rubble, the signpost for Yancy Street clutched in his hand… because he just ripped it out of the ground and wrapped the pole around several costumed baddies, including one with a weird see-through braincase. In the background, a legion of cops close in on the destruction. The two criminals complain loudly about their capture, with one threatening to call a lawyer because her wings are bleeding and ruined, while the other yells that Ben broke his ribs! That's pain you don't walk away from! Ben doesn't buy any of it, stating that the blood belongs to the police horse the criminals savaged four blocks back.
The brainy criminal tries to tell a nearby cop that Ben - that violent monstrosity over there - used a public telephone booth as a weapon against him, and rendered him incapable of ever fathering a child! Also, see how there's a crack in the glass dome on his head? That's his naked brain in there…! The cop just tells the guy to shut up already, then turns to Ben and mentions how the Fantastic Four are supposed to be scientists or explorers or something, right? No offense, but they can leave the coked-up supercrooks kind of thing to the professionals! Ben mutters that the next time Galactus turns up to chow down on the neighborhood he'll just sit back and watch the 'professionals' go to work!
Ben then suddenly cracks, his anger breaking through as he yells at the cop that he grew up here! He's only trying to put something back into the community! The officer nervously tells him to settle down, but Ben barely even hears that. A firefighter soon shows up and asks if Ben can maybe 'help the community' by getting out of his way?
The cop adds that the patrol car that Ben wrecked earlier probably cost the department forty grand! That's one less vehicle looking after his precious neighborhood! Ben grumbles that next time these people should save their own miserable lives, then walks off in a huff. After he's gone, the cop opines that Ben's a jerk, and the firefighter agrees - and he's not half as bad as the Human Torch! Don't get him started on that guy!
We next switch over to the Baxter Building and hear some news on the radio - it seems temperatures in Manhattan rose to a scorching 101 degrees this afternoon and Hurricane Stanley has been brewing in the Mid-Atlantic for a couple days, promising the mother of all storms. Is global warming to blame? Can it be pinned on the Atlanteans, or is this just one more big cloud with a grudge? We see Sue feed the fish in a really elaborate spiraling fish tank when Johnny walks by and complains about the humidity. Sue inquires what exactly was just said about Atlantis on the news since she missed it, but it's already slipped Johnny's mind. Anyway, it seems that Reed has had the old 'deep in thought' sign up for over a day now, hasn't he? He's locked himself away in an isolation chamber to be alone with his thoughts. Sue assures Johnny that he probably has a good reason…
We then see a brief flash of what Reed's actually doing inside that locked room, and it's… ghastly-looking - he's strapped himself into an elaborate machine with dozens of wires hooked up to his brain, and he's surrounded by arcs of electricity on all sides. Slumped down in his seat while his mind is a thousand miles away, his eyes have rolled up in his skull. Yeah, that's definitely reassuring…
Ben soon arrives back at the Baxter Building and grumbles at the automated verification device that he already knew he was the Thing, thanks. He hears Sue's irate voice in the distance - she's calling Johnny thoughtless and stupid, and wonders what's wrong with everyone these last few days?! It turns out Johnny casually superheated the water in the fish tank while he walked by, killing all the fish inside. Johnny says it was just a joke - and hey, it's not like those fish were really alive! Besides, it's not his fault that 'Mister Fantastic' spends more time dissecting Doctor Doom robots than hanging out with Sue! Sue furiously tells Johnny that those fish had names! She doesn't get why he's trying so hard to provoke her! Johnny just argues he was trying to lighten the atmosphere in this mausoleum! Sorry he was born, okay?! Anyway, Alicia can easily cook up new fish, she knows that…
Ben finally enters the room and asks if fish are really the top news of the day? Nobody asks about his day! Johnny takes one look at him and wonders if this is Ben's familiar cry for attention again. Sue immediately apologizes for her brother's words, asking Ben if something's wrong, and he says there is - the way he gets treated around here!
He then follows Johnny out, who quickly tells Ben to stop tailing him - everybody says he's the one who needles the big guy, but right now it's the opposite! Ben inquires about that whole 'cry for attention' thing from before, and then argues it's those people out there who are the real problem… One minute they love you, the next you're slime they wouldn't want on their shoes. What do they hate him for? What did he ever do so wrong!?
Johnny opines that nobody hates Ben - nobody cares. The truth is that nothing's happening at the moment, so Ben is bored like the rest of them and he's acting out. It's the same thing every time Reed goes AWOL in the depths of his mighty intellect - Ben's like a giant baby with a terminal skin disease! Ben angrily snarls that Johnny keeps sneering down his nose all the time… so maybe he should break his neck! And Ben will do so one day if he doesn't watch it! Johnny just ignores the empty threat, and informs Ben that he's got a date lined up, so perhaps he should go pick a fight with the Hulk or something instead. Or better yet, call Alicia and tell the woman who loves him just how much everyone hates him? Anyway, he's outta here! Johnny flies off, and Ben yells after him that he used to be a human being like him, he was a man! He… just wants to be treated normal…
We then visit Alicia, who's on the phone with Sue - and by 'on the phone' I mean that she's communicating using a somewhat daunting wireless headset that looks like some alien brain-bug with spikes coming out of the back. Apparently Alicia and Sue were chatting about the charged atmosphere in the tower, since Alicia reassures Sue that Ben always needs something or someone to fight - it stops him from feeling sorry for himself, she knows that. We don't hear Sue's side of the conversation, so Alicia next mentions that the air is muggy enough it feels like she could almost sculpt it, it's so dense!
She then talks about how she loves the rain more than this sort of weather, as it's so much better than music when she's working! She also remembers what she meant to say earlier, the reason she originally called - she wanted to let them know that Reed's new omni-communicator is perfect! Every appliance in her apartment is now voice operated, and it's not clumsy at all - Reed's machines are beautiful, they're works of art! Alicia evidently picks up on something from Sue's side after Reed's name is mentioned, because she immediately asks if there's something wrong. She's informed that Reed's been in isolation for thirty-two hours now, and that he hasn't spoken to Sue since. Alicia quickly reassures Sue that Reed still loves her. Now, she'll send over some more puppet-fish for the aquarium - she took a tray from the freezer, so they should be ready for animation in about an hour!
The scene switches to show Sue's side of the conversation, revealing that she's busy getting into a Fantasticar as she mentions to Alicia that she has a better idea - she's getting a little cranky, so she needs to get out for a while before she explodes! Oh, by the way, did Alicia read that article about subtle autism that she sent over? Asperger's Syndrome? 'High intelligence, high achievement, lack of empathy, single-minded pursuit of solitary interests…' Sometimes she worries about Reed…
Back in the Baxter Building, Ben is milling around the place and looks into the less than revealing window of Reed's 'deep thought' isolation chamber, muttering that Reed should lock himself away - just like he always does when he doesn't want to face the fact that they're all going nuts out here! He knows Reed has cameras recording everything, so he's just here to tell him that he'd better be in there finding him something to hit! They need something to do with their miserable lives…!
From behind Ben a voice asks why he's wasting his breath on Reed - the lights are on, but nobody's home! The speaker turns out to be a vivisected Doombot, its partially disassembled remains still strapped to a table with dozens of cables going into its skull - that's eerily familiar imagery, isn't it? Ben immediately decapitates the robot with a single punch, sending its head careening through the room. Naturally, the disembodied robot head just keeps needling Ben, observing that lashing out mindlessly is predictable from Ben - from the brute they've made him into!
Doom then claims he's gotten tired of these games… Ben ignores that comment, stating that he's not exactly sure how Doom reactivated this robot, but he's being taken to the scrapheap! Doom helpfully explains that he installs backdoor access into all his machines, and can thus speak through any of them. Does Ben not understand what he meant, though? Doom is tired of playing the villain in Richards' private drama. He's tired of lies. He's tired of it all.
Ben, clearly suspicious, wonders if they should just go talk to Reed about Doom's problems, and the villain agrees that they should - Ben should ask him the truth. If Reed even lets him! Despite his misgivings, Ben asks what this 'truth' stuff is all about - he smells a rat. In lieu of an answer, Doom instructs Ben to take the gauntlet from his dissected Doombot and put it on, and then he'll see! If he's so sure of himself, he'll have no fear! Ben threatens the robot again, stating that if it makes one false move he'll stomp it into the earth's core, before stabbing the robot's head onto a nearby spike so he can free up his hands. Doom just keeps talking, clarifying that the truth about what Reed has done to all of their lives is there if he wants it - to take or to leave. Doom describes his gauntlet as space-folding, explaining that it can be reconfigured to easily accommodate the dimensions of even Ben's ungainly paw. That's it, put it on! For some reason Ben does so, and halfway through asking for the next step he's engulfed in blue and black flames… and teleported away.
Ben arrives inside a room with arched ceilings and a dozen torches, where an in-person Doctor Doom wishes Ben a good morning. He was just transported to the Latverian Massif - it's 5 A.M. here, always, down in his Time Research Laboratories. Doom opines that the most beautiful moment of the day is when dawn is being born, Ben must agree, so here he replays it over and over again.
He wonders if Reed ever pauses to watch these moments? Like Prospero Reed finds true beauty only in his own rigorous attempts to comprehend and master the universe, with Johnny Storm as his impetuous fiery Ariel… and Ben as his monstrous Caliban! Doom then raises his hand and points out the ring on his hand which conceals the controls for his mask - which is both a very deep lore pull, and also seems rather off-topic. Doom calls Ben to walk along with him - for he promised a glimpse of the truth.
Ben points out that he's seen Doom's ugly mug before, and he doesn't scare that easily. What's Doom's angle? Because he's losing his patience fast… The two of them walk outside to reach… Anor Londo? Actually, it's just a take on Doom's castle that's inspired by the same flying buttresses as the aforementioned city of gods. Doom declares that there's been enough bravado - there is no more 'angle.' Their pointless war is over, and this is the end of their torment and the beginning of truth! He promises he'll show Ben his face, the face Reed gave him… and he wants Ben to listen to his story and then tell him he won't help. Ben scoffs at the very thought of helping Doom with anything. This had better not be… He stops talking as Doom takes off his mask off-panel.
The monarch hands it over before asking for help in putting an end to the sick dream of Reed Richards. Ben, clearly affected by whatever he's seeing, says it's not real - that face isn't real! Doom has pulled stunts like this before… What is this? He doesn't feel right… He demands that Doom explain. He'd better explain. Ben nearly crumples, begging the universe: 'Not Reed.'
Doom tells 'good-hearted, naive Ben' that everything he just told him (outside the reader's view) is true, and that Reed Richards has betrayed the world, and no one can understand that better than Doom! His people love him, and he loves and protects them in return as the legitimate head of a sovereign European state… and yet Reed has made an international devil out of him, and a monster out of Ben! Ben protests that this isn't right, but Doom just continues talking - he mentions how Reed married the woman Ben once cared for, only to ignore her. He also told Ben he had no cure for the cosmic radiation poisoning which robbed him of his humanity, and yet five minutes of his time is all Doom will require to restore the man he used to be, that man Doom remembers from State University when they were young!
It seems Ben is convinced by some part of this diatribe, because we see him follow Doom to a strange psychedelic staircase of some kind, a machine in the Time Research Laboratories. Doom explains that he freezes light here, and turns time into space, hence the trippy nature of the place. He informs Ben that as he heads up the staircase he may feel a resistance, time friction - it's normal. Now he should head up, and see how easy it is to become what he was! Acceptance, dignity, the normal physical love he's been denied - all lie at the top of these stairs! Ben has nothing to lose and heads inside, passing through several layers of 'time friction' on the way, though his sturdy hide protects him. He wonders, if this works, if this is for real, what's in it for Doom? His voice fades, and he seems to disintegrate…
The comic suddenly goes monochrome and lightning flashes overhead. We're on the street just outside the Baxter Building, where a man in tattered clothing rushes up to the watchman at the gate, crying out that he's Ben Grimm. They've got to let him in, he's Ben Grimm! The guard says he's not, because he knows Benjamin Grimm and the man looks and acts nothing like him! Ben insists that he needs to speak to Reed Richards, but the guard says 'Professor Richards' isn't seeing anyone today. Ben pushes past the man and puts his hand on the palm scanner, but it doesn't recognize him - access denied! Ben muses that 'Professor Richards' is a weird thing to call Reed - he doesn't think he belongs here, wherever here is. The guard agrees with him, and again tells him to get lost. Furious, Ben runs away…
Later, over on Yancy Street, a very human Ben clutches his head and asks for help - he thinks he's done something terrible that he can't take back - this whole place is wrong! Doesn't anyone get it? He lived here before, but nothing's here… This is Yancy Street, so where's old man Poliakoff's Bakery? It should be here! What happened to everything? As Ben is reeling, a nearby homeless man tries to warn him, but it's already too late. As an off-screen Doom's fist viciously crushes a small model of the Thing in his gauntleted hand, he states: 'How to destroy a man: grant him his heart's desire. One."
At the same moment a speeding car smashes into Ben and sends him flying through Yancy Street with a splatter of red blood, the first color in this monochrome world. As he lays on the floor, seriously injured, the homeless man steals his shirt and leaves Ben behind. The broken form of Ben mumbles something incoherent, which finally resolves into: 'Stop. Stop Reed…'
2. Staring a the Fishtank
We start with a closeup of Doom - or more precisely, a sculpture of Doom crafted by Alicia, positioned in a collage alongside Namor and the Moleman. In the background the Fantasticar arrives at Alicia's apartment, and a… bag steps out? In a curious and awesome bit of visual storytelling, the Invisible Woman is actually fully invisible as she arrives at the apartment of a blind woman, and remains so for their entire conversation! No outlines here, or transparency - the Invisible Woman is exactly as her name indicates. We see the bag of stuff move through the room at the same time that Alicia puts a bunch of clay fish in a nearby aquarium. She wipes her hands dry and then offers the dishcloth to Sue, since she sounds wet.
The invisible Sue takes the rag and proceeds to dry herself, outlining where her body is, and she explains to Alicia that Reed still hadn't said a word to her - never did, really. He just stared into space for five minutes a few days ago, then slithered off into his laboratory and closed the vacuum seal behind him. Sue was babbling like a lunatic about wiring the Cosmic Cube to the stove and organizing the immaculate dinner party at the time, while Johnny was behaving like a complete pig and he and Ben ended up at each other's throats.
Alicia figures they'll find some space monsters to fight soon, and then they'll feel much better. She opens the bag Sue brought and smells that she brought thai food - she loves that! Sue assures her that the fish cakes are for her too. She also admits she's very glad she got out of the madhouse for a while.
Alicia gets ready for her meal, warning Sue that the bathroom skylight got cracked by the Gray Gargoyle and leaks, and also that there's wine by the milk on the bottom shelf. Sue notices that Alicia isn't lugging Reeds 'Omni-communicator' around at the moment, and says she's not surprised. It looks like a bug from another dimension! Alicia argues that it's beautiful, however. Alicia asks how things are at the moment, and Sue explains that after the Frightful Four tried to turn Brooklyn into a Negative Zone Junction a while back, nothing's really happened - she's just been feeding the fish and listening to the radio… As drops of water splash against the windows, a sign of the storm that's breaking outside, Alicia intuits that this has to do with Namor, doesn't it? Sue doesn't answer, just picking up the wine. Well? A raindrop hits the ground and splashes everywhere in the silence. There's a flash of Reed, surrounded by shining spheres of light, his brain directly connected to them…
The scene switches to Johnny driving a red convertible across a bridge in the pouring rain, his blonde date in the seat next to him. His car radio is tuned to the news, and lets us know that Prince Namor, the infamous Sub-Mariner, has denied the presence of hostile Atlantean forces just outside the United States' territorial waters. Johnny just wishes Namor made his move already - but man, is he glad to get out of that tomb tonight! Last thing he needs right now is rain cramping his style, so let's hope Namor doesn't crash the party or he'll have to treat everyone to an impromptu display of mindlessly violent pyrotechnics! He hopes his date packed a polaroid camera! Said date chides Johnny's harsh words by mentioning Namor is royalty, but he just argues nobody's too high class to burn! She then asks if Johnny really has to make his hair catch fire? She didn't come here to be cooked like a steak! Johnny just tells her she came to the wrong place, then - he's the fabulous Human Torch! Dig it, or learn to live without it! As the car speeds by, we see Namor watch them from on top of a nearby building…
Meanwhile, over at Glory Hospital, someone is sitting near Ben Grimm's bed - it seems he survived his car accident from last issue, though he's bloody and covered in bandages. 'Grimm. That's your name, right, soldier?' someone asks - it's the man from the next bed over, and he mentions that Ben was a hit-and-run - he looked like road pizza! Personally, he doesn't find him that appetizing. Everything was stolen from him while he was lying on the street except for his dog tags - he's lucky to be alive, the doc says. Ben reaches out to take the dogtags back, only to realize that most of his right arm is missing, amputated. The patient mentions that these are professional doctors here, and they only do what's best - and he has to believe that, because they removed both his testicles on Monday morning! Ben just holds his one remaining hand to his head and closes his eyes.
Back at Alicia's apartment, she and a still invisible Sue share dinner, and they talk about Namor. Alicia admits she doesn't get the Sub-Mariner - he smells of crazy hormones and seawater from another world. He has a magnificent body, true, but… Sue irately wonders why everyone thinks she's obsessed with Namor's magnificent body? She tries to explain what's really going on, explaining that her mother convinced Sue when she was five years old that she'd wind up marrying a member of some foreign royal family. Namor is an aristocrat, he has manners, sophistication, and style. The keys to his own undersea kingdom are merely icing on his cake! Meanwhile, Sue spends her time mooning around the Baxter Building aquarium on a Saturday night, waiting for her husband to stop ignoring her! She can't help it if she sometimes dreams about green glass submarines gliding through undersea palaces made of phosphor and jewelry…
Alicia notes that Sue's motives can be as pure and romantic as she says they are, but it doesn't really matter. Namor is a shark in human form. Sue replies that she's a grown woman, and she can deal with sharks. In fact, after rejection, sharks are no problem! Alicia winces, and muses that this is just a familiar cycle Sue always goes through at times like these, and she knows that, right? Sue is silent for a moment, and compliments the wine… before wishing that Reed would just talk to her. It's like they're the happiest couple on Earth, and then some theory will just pop into Reed's head and he looks right through her, and it's so cold. It's like she's not even there! It's like she's invisible.
Alicia mentions that she can smell Sue's hair, hear her heartbeat, feel the air she displaces as she moves around the room. She asks Sue to hold out her hand, and holds out the Omni-communicator, and asks why she thinks these machines Reed builds each have to be so expressive and individual? She should feel them, and realize that's her. That passion which is in everything he does, that's Reed's love in every line! He's not a scientist, he's an artist, and he puts all the things he can't say into the things he creates! Sue snaps that she doesn't want to reach her husband via his works of genius - she'd rather he was there for her when she needs him. Like tonight, for instance - why can't he just talk to her like a normal person? Alicia theorizes that he is the way he is because all of the Fantastic Four came back different from everyone else after their trip to space, and there's no way back to normal. Reed's body and brain have become completely malleable, and so he has thoughts and ideas and sensations they can barely dream of… Who's to say he isn't there for Sue right this very moment…?
We see another flash of Reed, attached to his machine - his expression is horrifying, lightning crackling around him. In Latveria, a minion calls out to his Master, Victor von Doom, to tell him that his allies in America await his command. Doom tells him they should wait a moment more, proclaiming that this moment is his alone - it belongs to silence and hate. Doom crushes a clay figurine of the Invisible Woman in his hand and declares: 'And two. The family falls.'
As raindrops continue to fall, we return to Alicia's apartment, where she mentions that next week the Fantastic Four will surely be returning home from whatever new dimension Reed has discovered, and Sue will be telling her how she loves him - she knows she will. She'll sweep through the door in a flurry of newspaper headlines and circuit-encrusted tiaras from a parallel reality, and she'll speak of how much she wished her life could go back to lazy, quiet normality again… In fact, if she doesn't, she'll be really disappointed! Alicia pauses, then wonders if Sue heard that too? Is it the skylight?
Sue promises to take a look, but gets distracted when she tells Alicia that she's probably right about what she said before. Sue just needed to get her head straight. She'll get back home and Reed will be sitting dazed in the kitchen staring at a can opener or something. She guessed they should all take more responsibility for their own moods… Alicia mentions that Sue is just looking out for Reed and making sure he doesn't isolate himself too much. It's just that Reed needs a little more time with his thoughts than the rest of them… Alicia then mentions the strange noise she heard again - it shouldn't sound like that…
Back in the hospital, Ben tells his fellow patient that he was a quarterback, and he fought in the war. His buddy Reed Richards and some crazy kids talked him into flying their mission to Mars… and he had nothing else to do. That's the last thing he remembers before everything went crazy. Reed was his old college buddy, but he did something so bad - or something? Why can't he remember? The patient is confused by Ben's words, and wonders if he means the Professor? He must be delirious! That guy's a zillionaire superhero with a beautiful wife! How could he be Ben's roommate? He's got grey in his hair! Ben furiously wonders what this guy knows about him, huh? Ben could fly a rocket from here to Pluto and back! The other jokes that it had better be a one-handed rocket, and argues he should quit whining for five minutes. So Ben lost an arm. Big deal! He's got a dose of terminal prostate cancer himself, try putting that in a lonely hearts ad!
Back in her apartment, Alicia warily asks Sue if she's still there. It's that smell, you see - weren't they talking about it earlier? Seawater from another world…? And soil? Sue has already made her way to the front door, wine glass still in her invisible hand, and she opens the door to ask who's there. 'The storm has come,' a familiar figure says from the shadows. Sue drops her glass at the same time that Namor steps forward and asks Sue to become visible so he can look at her. Sue takes in the wet, almost entirely nude man in front of her and states: 'Namor. Oh God. I… I'm married…'
Back with Johnny, the girl he's driving around says that she loves what he does to her… but he's giving her third degree burns! Johnny barely pays attention, musing about how mean he was to Ben earlier, and how he shouldn't have done that. Maybe they should go find Namor and beat the hell out of him like a couple of buddies…? He stops the car and tells the girl to take the wheel - it was the car she really wanted, right? The girl yells in excitement and happily agrees - Johnny is so cool! As the woman races off with the sportscar, Johnny just waves her off and scoffs. 'Whatever.' He walks back home through the streets, lightning arcing through the clouds, and muses that some nights it's just too exhausting to be him. He asks the Baxter Building doorman if he's seen Ben tonight, since he feels a need to work off some heat before the rain starts up. The thunder's getting closer all the time! Johnny then realizes it's not thunder, is it? It's… underground?
Johnny immediately tells the doorman that there's a bomb-proof shelter in the basement, and if he starts running now he'll make it! Go! Nearby, wisps of energy emerge from a manhole cover. Then the ground cracks and a white flash of energy breaks open the entire street, allowing a huge creature from deep underground to emerge, one of the Mole Man's monsters - the same one the team fights on the cover of Fantastic Four v1 #1.
Johnny, pleased to have a fight on his hands to distract from his ennui, flames on!
Rating & Comments
Sometimes you don't recognize an essential part of something until it's missing… and that's definitely the case here. Grant Morrison is not known to write the sort of hopeful, generally upbeat family affairs that tend to be the Fantastic Four's focus, as even in their darkest hours they tend to maintain that optimism. When it's missing, it really shows. Between Morrison's moody writing and Jae Lee's Gotham-level take on the streets of New York, complete with baroque structures and dismal, dirty environments around every corner, it's like the entire concept of the Fantastic Four has been steeped in despair. The very setting is suffering from existential ennui, perpetually loomed over by an encroaching storm, and the characters aren't doing much better, and it's the characters that this whole thing's about. Plot-wise, not a lot actually happens in these issues, at least compared to the usual comic book fare, and it's more of a character study with a few stray bits of 'probably will be relevant in a few issues' material strewn in. Which is confusing, because this series has only four issues! There's not a lot of room for any development to breathe…
We open the first issue with a dark take on a familiar refrain - Ben is feeling sorry for himself, Johnny is a thoughtless hothead, Sue is feeling left out and lonely, and Reed is so caught up in his own head that he doesn't have time for relationships - in fact, he doesn't even show up. Ben gets more page time in this first issue than any of the others, which seems like a part of a theme - the second issue, in turn, mostly focuses on Sue, and so forth. It seems each of the main four characters on the team gets the spotlight, while the rest plays second fiddle for the issue.
Despite those familiar opening beats, the details are important here - Morrison's take on the characters is none too complimentary, since it paints them all in a rather bad light. Ben is unconcerned with collateral damage and how badly he hurts the baddies, and thus has a poor relationship with the police and firefighters. Johnny comes off as a careless sociopath who seems utterly unconcerned with destroying his sister's property and just wants to bang chicks to cure his boredom. Sue seems so dreadfully insecure that the thought of being without her husband for only a day or two sends her reeling and questioning her marriage - and Reed, well, he's too busy doing weird science to care for his family. Yikes!
Being the focus of the first issue, Ben trundles through the story in a dreadful mood, tortured by his inhuman existence, which is a theme frequently addressed in early depictions of the character (if less so in more modern versions.) Johnny puts it in a rather rude way, but it does seem like Ben uses the excursions of the Fantastic Four as his emotional outlet, and being stuck at home - where he's yelled at for his tendency to leave collateral damage in his wake - really wears on him. He's got a temper that he can't get rid of, and when he's forced to sit on his hands his personal demons tend to creep up on him. Ben goes so far as to confront an absent Reed with these personal issues, telling what amounts to a blank wall that it should get them something to do. Which is, of course, when my subject of choice first enters the story.
Up until the point when Ben and Doom converse, the entire story seemed to be just a dark reinterpretation of the team - a pessimistic version of the usual refrain of this team's downtime issues. Doom - or more precisely a Doombot channeling his voice - interrupts those proceedings by telling Ben he's just done with it all. Finished with all the games. He claims he wants to stop being the villain in Reed's private drama, and that he has some great truth to tell about Reed, about something he's done to all their lives. He dares Ben to put on his gauntlet to learn what it is. In any conventional story Ben would immediately tell Doom to stuff it. Here, as the comic cuts between the 'keep out' message on Reed's door and the lightning storm curling around the Baxter Building, Ben inexplicably ends up going along with it. It's fascinating, because that's very clearly out of character - and while I'd dismiss that as shitty writing on other days, I don't think that's what's going on there. Those intercuts are deliberate, there's some weird shenanigans going on. So far, everything was coherent - but the moment Doom got involved, things went askew.
Morrison's take on Doom's castle is every bit as gothic and elaborate as his version of New York, dotted with the weird and wonderful creations of Doom's genius and many flying buttresses. Far from a simple square on the floor, Doom's time machine is now an imposing, mind-bending structure of solidified space and time, and its creator keeps a room in his castle which replays the dawn on a perpetual loop, just so he can enjoy it whenever he wants. That's pretty awesome. Doom waxes philosophical the instant Ben arrives, comparing the Fantastic Four to Shakespearean characters, before suggesting that there is some secret behind his mask which is key to whatever great 'truth' he wanted to reveal. As Ben points out, Doom's face is not actually that big a secret to the people who knew him before the mask, so what's going on here…? We don't learn this, for now - it seems that whatever Doom says to Ben is key to the larger mystery and thus kept off-panel on purpose, and we'll have to wait to learn what it is.
Doom offers to revert Ben to human, a feat Reed has previously proven incapable of - at least in any permanent sense. Naturally, Doom's solution is to use his time machine to literally roll back Ben's life to the point that he was still human, just before he launched the rocket which transformed all the Fantastic Four into their empowered forms. Like a particularly nasty genie, however, this wish is granted in a manner that doesn't benefit Ben at all, since he has no idea what's going on afterwards because his memories got rolled back too, and he can't get anyone to believe who he is. Then he gets run over by a car and loses nearly everything he's got left, including one of his arms. And Doom… watches all this happen, gleeful about his success. He planned this, somehow. All of it.
It's clear that everything that happened was part of one of Doom's plans, gotcha, and he's clearly been manipulating Ben, but how? Ben's reactions to Doom's claims, whatever they might be, are extreme and uncharacteristic of him - and he keeps repeating that something's not right. I'm inclined to agree with that assessment, since I suspect that Doom has returned to an old favorite tactic of his: Mind Control! Or at least emotional manipulation. Doom says it himself: To destroy a man, he granted him his heart's desire. Doom used Ben's self-hatred against him in order to revert him to a harmless, lost version of himself. Presumably he's also using the flaws of the other characters against them - he's using Sue's insecurities against her to manipulate her into infidelity, and presumably Johnny's hotheadedness will factor into the third issue of this series. As for Reed, well… can we assume that it was Doom who locked him into that torturous-looking contraption in his own base…?
Moving on to the second, more Sue-focused issue, there's… just a lot of talking. I appreciate the creative decision to make the Invisible Woman actually invisible for most of the issue - no tricks of the light, no outlines, Jae Lee just straight up omits her aside from the things she's holding. It works because her invisibility doesn't matter to Alicia, who's blind anyway, and it's also a metaphor for Sue's own feelings at the moment, her conviction that as far as her husband is concerned she might as well not exist. Alicia tries to drag Sue back to reality, reminding her that this is how Reed is, that it's not a slight against her - and that she keeps having these moments of weakness. Which is, of course, when the specter of Namor makes himself known. Namor and Sue had some vaguely defined romantic feelings in the comics before Reed and Sue got together, and nobody will ever let them forget it, heh.
Sue and Alicia's conversation takes up a lot of page space, and it gets a little boring - but it does contain an interesting take on why Sue is even attracted to Namor (beyond his bodacious bod.) She frames it as a whole romantic thing about sophisticated royals - it's a comfortable fantasy for when she's stuck mooning around an aquarium waiting for Reed to show himself. Alicia is the one who draws the conversation back to Sue's marriage, and reminds her that Reed expresses his love differently, through his creations, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love her. Sue has trouble with that sort of indirect expression of love, and Alicia's theory as to why Reed is the way he is goes well beyond Asperger's Syndrome and into super-science - she suggests that beyond just his stretchy body, Reed's mind has also become completely malleable, and thus he gets caught up in thoughts and sensations that the rest of them can't even dream of… 'Who's to say he isn't here for you right now?' she asks. This feels like clear foreshadowing, given that the next image we're shown is a tortured Reed...
Doom barely shows up in the second issue, by the way, though we do get a brief snippet of him confirming that some part of this issue is his work, once again - he crushes Sue's statuette and declares that he's now taken down two of his enemies. The family falls! It's heavily implied that he sent Namor to her door, presumably because Doom is responsible for inducing Sue's current emotional breakdown. Namor's arrival causes an admittedly funny 'I'm married!' exclamation on Sue's part, proving that Namor is still entirely too sexy. I think what Doom was going for here was to bury Sue into such insecurity and temptation that she'd commit infidelity with Namor, thereby ruining her family relationships beyond repair. I wonder if that'll work out, though, given that Alicia seems to have helped her back from the brink.
After an earlier scene established that Johnny was driving around like a maniac having a good time, a second scene reveals that for all his bluster, his thoughts have actually been revolving around the events of the first issue - he's been regretting his harsh words to Ben, and he is mostly ignoring his date. She's clearly only in it for the fame and the fast car, too, since she just cheerfully speeds off the moment Johnny hands her the keys. Johnny comes across as tired of his own shtick, and in need of a distraction. Which is the moment the Mole Man decides to get involved and give him the sort of fight he's been hoping for. Johnny is over the moon… but I have my doubts here. This is awfully convenient timing, isn't it? Johnny finds himself at an emotional low, and suddenly someone shows up to give him exactly what he wants in the form of a superhero fight? Isn't this exactly how the last few of Doom's manipulations worked…?
Well, so far 1234 is… fascinating, but also meandering and without any clear destination in mind. Ben regresses in age and ends up in hospital sans one arm, but beyond lying in bed feeling sorry for himself he's not really doing much - I have no idea where that's going. Sue and Alicia have an extensive heart-to-heart, but beyond Namor showing up to let her look at his abs, not much happened there yet. Johnny barely got any page time at all, and he's hell-bent on ignoring his issues and punch a big monster instead. Reed's not even here. Even Doom, who has a pretty neat introduction in the first issue, is mostly absent for the second, and his actual involvement in the plot is left ambiguous, beyond that he's doing something weird. I assume there's some kind of mind control stuff going on, but the comic isn't interested in getting into the specifics thus far, focusing instead on more dialogue about fake fish or Sue's marriage. Eh.
Where does that leave me, score-wise? The art is great, sure, and the writing is generally good (if rather out of character at times for a mainstream take on the FF) but the plot is barely there at all, and it seems difficult to me to somehow tie everything together in just two more issues. I guess one of those issues is the Reed-focused one, which means at least someone might know what the hell is going on around here! For now I'll go with 3 stars, because while I liked these issues, getting bored is not the sort of thing you want to happen in only about twenty pages of story, heh. Hopefully the last two parts of the quartet bring the story around and satisfyingly fill in the (intentional) gaps, so I can revise this score through context.
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
"That's right. Lash out mindlessly, predictably, like the brute they have made you. As for me, I've tired of these games. ... Do you understand? I'm tired of playing the villain in Richards' private drama. I'm tired of lies. I'm tired of it all.""The most beautiful moment of the day is when the dawn is being born, you must agree. I replay it over and over. Does Richards ever pause to watch these moments? Like Prospero, he finds true beauty only in his own rigorous attempts to comprehend and master the universe. With John Storm as his impetuous fiery Ariel. And you his monstrous Caliban."
"Reed Richards has betrayed the world. No one can understand that better than I. My people love me, I love and protect them in return, as legitimate head of a sovereign European state. And yet he has made an international devil of me. And a monster of you."
"How to destroy a man: grant him his heart's desire. One."
"This moment is mine alone. It belongs to silence and hate. And two. The family falls."
Reading this, it occurs to me that this might be Doom making a very sly dig at Ben and how Doom is about to manipulate him. He asks Ben to admire dawn being born over and over.
What would someone like Ben say to protest he's no sucker? Probably something like, "I wasn't born yesterday."
Eh, maybe it's a stretch.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
This reminds me a lot of Doom's side-plot from Fantastic Four vs. the X-Men, where he planted that fake diary of Reeds in the Baxter building to break up the team by getting them all to distrust Reed.
This sounds much more like Doom is talking about himself. Reed has always been depicted as the one who loves learning for it's own sake, while Doom is interested only he how he can use knowledge for power. Now, If Doom had referenced his appreciation for art, then he might have something to gloat about, since Reed has never shown any ability to appreciate art or music.
I think the hypocrisy is meant to be noticed. Doom complains that Reed wants to control everything instead of simply appreciating it. Yet, in the same breath, Doom says he appreciates the sunrise so much, that he made a room where he can watch it again and again on replay. Waiting for the natural sunrise isn't enough. He had to make his own one under his control.
This sounds much more like Doom is talking about himself. Reed has always been depicted as the one who loves learning for it's own sake, while Doom is interested only he how he can use knowledge for power. Now, If Doom had referenced his appreciation for art, then he might have something to gloat about, since Reed has never shown any ability to appreciate art or music.
I think the hypocrisy is meant to be noticed. Doom complains that Reed wants to control everything instead of simply appreciating it. Yet, in the same breath, Doom says he appreciates the sunrise so much, that he made a room where he can watch it again and again on replay. Waiting for the natural sunrise isn't enough. He had to make his own one under his control.
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Comics Misc 06: April Fools 2024 - Leading Comics #3 & All-Star Squadron #29 - The Tyrants of Time!
- Location
- Netherlands
Leading Comics #3 & All-Star Squadron #29
IntroductionOn today's coverage of the unmistakable Doctor Doom... - hold on, there's a smudge on my screen here, give me a second. Ahem, on today's coverage of the inimitable Doctor Doome, we'll be covering a very retro issue from the 1940's, and the same character's inglorious return decades later during a 1980's revival tour.
We're plumbing new depths here… Leading Comics was a series published by what is now DC Comics in the 1940's and early 1950's, during the so-called Golden Age of Comics. Early issues of Leading Comics were taken up by adventures of the so-called 'Seven Soldiers of Victory', broken up into multiple chapters which each featured one or two heroes. The Justice Society of America that the same company also published proved far more popular, however, so around issue #15 (out of 77) the title dropped superheroes in favor of funny animals, westerns, sci-fi, and so forth. This coincides with the general fading of the superhero genre towards the end of the 40's, and it would take some ten or twenty years for them to have a resurgence. That next wave has lasted until the modern day, with some financially ruinous hiccups along the way.
All-Star Squadron, meanwhile, is a DC team that debuted in the early 80's. The adventures of that team take place, chronologically, during the 1940's, and thus retroactively insert their narratives into the fictional history of other DC superheroes of the Golden Age. This team included many characters from that era alongside newly introduced ones, as well as other World War 2 heroes that DC didn't own at the time but later acquired in other purchases. The series' name references 'All Star Comics', which is the series in which the JSA made their debut, the first superhero comic team of note during the Golden Age. It's kind of interesting that this entire affair is actually what the term 'retcon' might have originally been invented for - it was coined by Roy Thomas in the letter column of one of that series' issues!
Covers
'Doctor Doome' doesn't actually show up on either of these covers, but at least we get a list of the main heroes - Star-Spangled Kid, Crimson Avenger, Green Arrow, Vigilante, and Shining Knight. I'm not actually too familiar with any of these (short of the modern version of Green Arrow) but that's what happens with such ancient characters, I suppose… Note that unmentioned but also included in the 'Seven Soldiers of Victory' are sidekicks Speedy, Wing, and Stripesy. (Seriously?) Wing is the only one not depicted on this cover - he's Crimson Avenger's tag-along.
Story Overview
Prologue - The Tyrants of Time!
We open with several ads for a book about the wonders of science, complete with a telescope, which promises that my friends will admire me for paying 2 bucks for this book, and that I am obligated to be 100% delighted, or get my money back guaranteed! Wonders and mysteries of science in thrilling stories and a thousand pictures! Act now! I feel like I'm a little late for this one, guys. Darn. I probably could have spared two dollars. (Or about 36 bucks today.)
Skipping over the delightful retro ads, we get our introduction - it's pretty much the same image of the lighthouse from the cover, but this time different faces are in the circles, while the heroic team gawks at the pretty lights. Napoleon, Alexander the Great, Nero, Attila the Hun, and Genghis Khan… What if these demons of destruction should return to life today? United in one ferocious band to launch a whirlwind campaign of pillage and terror? That is what happens in this amazing story, or that's what the opening blurb promises, and the Seven Soldiers of Victory are plunged into the battle of their lives, pitting flashing wits and smashing fists against fearful odds to thwart the rebel scientist who raided the centuries for… the Tyrants of Time!
We flash back to 333 BCE, where a young Alexander the Great hurls his Macedonian cavalry against the Persian city of Tyre… when suddenly an unearthly bolt of light strikes with the swiftness of lightning and makes him disappear. In 63 CE, the same ray interrupts Nero while he's in the middle of a fiddle solo. The beam sweeps forward four centuries to snap up Atilla the Hun, scourge of Central Europe, and stabs out yet again to grab Genghis Khan while he's laying siege against the Chinese city of Peking in 1214 CE. Lastly, the ray dips into October of 1813, as Napoleon rides at the head of his army towards the disastrous battle of Leipzig in Saxony. Five tyrants out of the troubled past, kidnapped from their grim labors to face a sixth would-be tyrant at his secret lighthouse base, bathed in a thunderstorm. He welcomes the five others as they materialize before him, declaring that he welcomes them to glory and power beyond their wildest dreams - they are now in New York, 1942. That tyrant's name? Doctor Doome!
Alexander is rather upset that Doome interrupted his conquest of the world, and Napoleon declares that his imperial guard will deal with him. Doome responds with exposition. He explains that while they are the greatest conquerors in history, he is the greatest scientist! Through the time machine he has created, he can travel to any point in the past, or bring any person from the past into the present. He hates the men of today, you see - they laughed at him! He proposes to force those people to pay for another machine that will project all of them further into the future, where they shall then seize power and rule as kings! Genghis Khan is on board - though he calls Doome 'infidel' which seems a bit weird. He asks what happens if they fail, and Doome declares that he has a solution for that - he'll give each of the conquerors a special rod which will allow them to return to the very instant the time beam seized them.
Attila admits he knows nothing of sorcery, but if there's fighting to be done and loot to be gained, then his sword is ready! Doome promises there will be plenty of loot to come! Doome explains that they need money - with it, he'll send each of the conquerors to bring back one of the rarest metals on Earth, since he needs those to open the gate to the future. The conquerors, now inflamed by visions of vast new conquests, pledge loyalty. 'I was getting bored with Rome, anyway,' says Nero. Supervillains from the past, planning to despoil the present, so that they may rule the future. Was ever a more diabolical scheme conceived!? For now, let's turn our attention somewhere else…
We switch over to Oliver Queen and his young pal Roy Harper, who are trying out a new-fangled two-way radio on Wall Street, openly discussing that it'll come in handy during their secret superhero jobs as Green Arrow and Speedy! Oliver walks off and holds contact with Roy as he turns around the corner to test the range and reception of the device, and it's clear as a bell. Further down the street, men pause to stare as a fantastic quintet of costumed weirdos march down the street from the riverfront - probably a publicity stunt from some crazy stock brokers, right? A pair of bank messengers draw near, and suddenly the five conquerors attack, with Napoleon shooting one of the messengers while Alexander pulls his sword on the other.
Roy, witnessing this craziness, rushes into action while a confused Oliver asks what is going on across the radio connection. Attila smacks Roy aside with the flat of his blade, warning that he'll use the sharp end next time! In the commotion Roy's radio falls to the ground, and Atilla is fascinated by the future technology and picks it up, decicing he'll keep the talking box for himself. Terror rules the street as the five conquerors hack their way through the street back to the river, where they take a waiting seaplane and fly off, despite a bunch of cops firing after them. A clean getaway! The cops are confused about the masquerade costumes the five were wearing, and wonder who would have thought of that…
The plane lands back at the abandoned lighthouse far out from Long Island half an hour later, with Nero and Genghis Khan discussing the miracle of manned flight - Nero had men flung to the lions for claiming it was possible! Doome is awaiting the quintet and is pleased to see that they've succeeded in looting half a million dollars, which he will now use to prepare to conquer the future!
Meanwhile, back at Wall Street, Oliver is interviewing Roy about what happened. Abruptly his radio breaks its silence, and those last few sentences about men being flung to lions become clear - someone's on the wavelength of his radio, and they can hear the hum of a plane motor! They've got a lead, so this is a case for the Green Arrow and Speedy! Oliver has a hunch that it's a little bigger than a two-man job, since he suspects they might actually be dealing with people who really traveled from the past, rather than just some actors. It's time to call a meeting of the Legionnaires! A secret signal crackles over the air waves, summoning seven mighty heroes to war against crime! The Seven Soldiers meet up soon after, and Oliver lays out the situation. 'Gadzooks,' proclaims Shining Knight. He came from the past, so why couldn't these tyrants?
Interestingly, Shining Knight's backstory involves him falling into an icy crevasse in the 6th century and freezing, only to be unfrozen many centuries later in a much-changed world from all he knew - he's an early Captain America! During the meeting the radio activates once again, letting the heroes in on the villains' plan to steal a bunch of precious metals which will be used for the time machine. I'm not sure why they're actually stealing this stuff, though - they just got a lot of stolen money, surely buying it would be an option at this point?
Apparently not, because it's time to send Napoleon and a small army after a gold shipment on a train near the Canadian Border! Star-Spangled Kid and Stripesy decide to tackle that, since they have a special grudge against dictators - past and present. Alexander the Great is sent to the Florida Everglades to bring back a quantity of Radium, so Oliver and Roy decide to head there - apparently because they're expecting archers in his army? Genghis Khan is after some platinum that is being shipped from Alaska, and Shining Knight is sent after that target. Nero is sent to capture a ship carrying precious uranium, while Atilla the Hun heads to South Dakota to acquire tantalum. The Crimson Avenger claims Nero, which leaves Vigilante to go after Atilla. Coyotes are coyotes, Vigilante proclaims, whether they come from the past, present, or future! They should run down these varmints in a hurry and hold another pow-wow about this sidewinder who calls himself… Doctor Doome!
Chapter 1 - Defeat Before Waterloo (Star-Spangled Kid and Stripesy)
After bullshitting his way out of his father's pretentious mansion with a made-up reason to leave - he's going to listen to some mosses, apparently - Sylvester Pemberton and his driver ride off to quickly don their superhero costumes. They touch a secret button and their limousine changes into an entirely different vehicle, the Star-Rocket Racer, which is a car that is also a helicopter and a plane and a rocket. Awesome. They take off north towards Canada and follow the railroad, keeping an eye out for Napoleon and his army…
One hour earlier, a big transport plane is seen heading along the same course with Napoleon and his 'army' on board - who are a bunch of full-on Al Capone-era gangsters, which I guess was relatively contemporary at the time of publication. Napoleon is quite annoyed at their disrespectful attitude. They soon land the plane at a field near a train junction that's currently holding the gold that's due to be transported elsewhere on the next train. They set out their plan - they'll cut communications, then take blasting powder to blow up the tracks half a mile onwards, so the train they're expecting will be wrecked. Two hobos sitting nearby hear the explosion go off, but they don't care - it's not their business. Inside the rail junction building the station master panics when he realizes he can't contact the train about the explosion - the wires are down! Before the station personnel can do anything about it, though, some men sneak up on them and knock them down, and they're captured by Napoleon…
Engrossed in their cleverness, the raiders don't recognize there's a rapidly growing speck in the sky - it's the Star-Rocket Racer! Man, that's a wordy name, isn't it? Star-Spangled Kid jumps out of the vehicle and swings down to the ground by hanging on a slender strand of 'Steelite' and strikes his enemies like a human cannonball, without warning. He knocks over some of the gangsters and Napoleon, then punches out the rest without them even getting a hit in. Napoleon, annoyed, muses that he should have insisted on a horse! He might have kept his dignity! Suddenly two men grab the Star-Spangled Kid from behind, the same couple who snuck up on the Station Master earlier, while Napoleon pulls out two pistols. That's when Stripesy swings down from the hovering Racer, knocking Napoleon and the two others out with a couple more punches.
The fight gets a bit more complicated after that, since the heroes tag-team one thug with a tommy gun, only for another man to pistol whip Stripesy in the back of the head with his pistol. The tommy gun thug punches the Star-Spangled Kid unconscious, and suddenly the previously one-sided match is decided in favor of the baddies. Napoleon thinks that bullets are too good for these two, and has them tied up and weighted with stones so they can drown in the river. The shock of the cold water revives Stripesy, who strains like he's never strained before and uses his muscles to force himself upright, then slowly hops towards shallower waters with Star-Spangled Kid still tied to his back. Weird, but okay.
Minutes later, Stripesy manages to break the water and get a breath, right next to the hobo camp from earlier. The two hobos quickly get Star-Spangled Kid and Stripesy out of the river, and the two alleged superheroes ask the two hobos for help in capturing the snakes that did this to them. They're hesitant, noting that if they get mixed up in anything they're sure to land in jail, but the Kid eventually talks them around by convincing them that taking down a dictator is worth it. Heading back for their Racer, which is still hovering directly over the train station, they fly after the departing transport plane which is carrying Napoleon and his stolen gold…
The Star-Rocket Racer skims across the wing of the transport plane and smashes a propeller, forcing it to crash into the forest nearby. Stripesy swings down again, but the fight has already been shaken out of the gangsters. The hobos are almost disappointed there's no punchy time in it for them, but Kid promises that they won't have to be hoboes anymore - they'll get a reward for helping save the gold, and he'll put in a good word with John Pemberton in New York, who will fix them up with good jobs to boot! Now, there's one outstanding matter… Napoleon. He might not have the gold anymore, but he's still on the run somewhere nearby!
We switch to his perspective, and it seems after hours of walking around, Napoleon has realized he's utterly lost in the forest - if only he had a horse! Night brings nameless terrors to a leader without an army at his back… In the morning, a tattered Napoleon, crazed by hunger, thirst, and exhaustion, stumbles out of the forest and spies an answer to his feverish dreams - a horse! A horse at last! Now he can raise a new army and smash the superheroes that waylaid him! The horse, however, turns out to be a plastic one attached to a Merry-Go-Round, and the people of the tiny resort village he reached are stunned and call the asylum. The asylum guards quickly come to pick him up - they've already got four others who claim to be Napoleon, he'll fit right in! Furious, Napoleon decides it's time to return to his own soldiers, who know how to respect him. With that he uses the gadget Doome gave him, and disappears back into history…
In his distant lighthouse, Doctor Doome recreates scenes of the past with his time machine, and he's currently studying Pickett's charge at Gettysburg. His image is briefly interrupted by Napoleon traveling back to the past, and he realizes this means he failed! Incredible! But the failure of one man needn't ruin his plans - he'll send one of the others to seize the gold he needs later - perhaps Alexander the Great, after he's retrieved the radium from Florida?
Chapter 2 (Green Arrow and Speedy)
We open up in the secret laboratory of Leo Starr, brilliant inventor, deep in the Everglades. He's creating robots to act as soldiers in the war - America's future armies shall be radium-powered steel men, tireless and unconquerable! One of Starr's creations, a robot named Oscar, even developed a prankish personality and learned how to speak, though he's not exactly a genius (and kind of mean.) Weird going-ons indeed, but other strange things are going on, like Alexander the Great setting up a catapult outside and smashing his way into the building, straight-up killing Starr with the impact. Oscar wonders if Alexander is his new boss, and the conqueror indeed tells it to call him 'master', proclaiming that he's been spying on Starr and learned how to operate his steel men. He requests access to the radium, and Oscar happily grabs it and drops it on Alexander's foot as a joke, and the conqueror only barely keeps himself from violence…
Outside, we see a bullet car flash towards adventure - it's the Arrow-Plane, the fastest thing on wheels! (Wait, it's not actually a plane?) Green Arrow and Speedy are forced to slow down when they have to pass across a corduroy log road, and are met there by a bunch of robots who try to grab them. Apparently they're fine as long as they stay in the car, but the robots still take the entire vehicle along with them to their new master. Alexander proclaims to the heroes that they should bring their chariot inside, while he plots how to best kill them… Once inside, one of the robots climbs into the vehicle, and Green Arrow warns his buddy that he's going to use the catapult, which confuses Alexander, but moments later one of the car's ejection seats launches one of the robots into the ceiling, after which Speedy uses an arrow-line to become a human cannonball - a familiar strategy at this point, isn't it?
Speedy knocks Alexander into a nearby piece of equipment to demonstrate what happens to killers - they get electrocuted! Speedy then releases the robots from the conqueror's control. While he plays with the controls, Green Arrow has a lame standup session with Oscar, and the two get so distracted that Alexander wakes up and goes on the attack again, knocking Speedy over the head with his sword and then setting the robots on Green Arrow again. Doh. The robots gang up on Green Arrow and despite getting a few good hits in, he's soon captured.
Later, the two heroes wake up to realize they've been tied to chairs. Alexander has found a fitting death for the two in the meantime - they'll be torn to shreds by the metal men! Then he shall rejoin Doctor Doome with them and the radium - and the world and its riches shall be theirs! When Oscar keeps making jokes at Alexander's expense, the conqueror eventually snaps and tries to kill him, at which point Oscar grabs his sword without any effort and uses it to cut the ropes tying up the heroes since he figures it'd be fun, and he likes jokes. Alexander rushes to the robot controls and sets them to attack the heroes and Oscar, so Green Arrow grabs a handy firehose that's just sort of there for some reason and hoses them down, while Speedy grabs a blowtorch and starts burning holes into the rest.
Alexander flees to reformulate his strategy but gets lost in the Everglades, finding them less friendly than he had hoped. He's nearly attacked by a snake and a large alligator, but arrows from nowhere take them out, which the conqueror interprets as good omens from the gods. Soon enough a robot approaches and tells Alexander that it's dangerous to get lost in these swamps. Alexander is surprised since he thought all the robots were broken, and only Oscar could speak. In any case, he figures he might as well head back to the workshop for lack of better options. Perhaps he can yet win the radium! As they enter the building, Alexander wonders where the archers have gone, only for the robot next to him to take off his head - it's actually a robot costume, and it's Green Arrow inside (complete with hat!)
Alexander, realizing that the archers saved him from the animals in the swamp, decides that his capture is now inevitable - unless he uses the device he has been given by Doctor Doome to return to his own time, where men quake at the mention of his name! With the radium safe and Alexander gone, the heroes leave and decide they'll take Oscar with them. Meanwhile, in his lighthouse, Doctor Doome is watching Columbus discovering the New World when the image of Alexander traveling back crosses his screen - he failed as well! It is almost as if some great organization knows of his plan and has declared war on him… but he mustn't get panicky. If the other three succeed, he can send them after the gold and radium for his new time machine…
Chapter 3 - The Man Who Told a Fish Story (Shining Knight)
Switching over to a museum, we see Sir Justin - the Shining Knight - grab his armor and weapons from a glass display case and put it on, then mounting his pegasus and leaving on his new quest. He asks a random gas station attendant for directions towards Alaska, and apparently 'northwest' is enough of a direction to go on. Meanwhile, in the little town of Jackpot in Alaska, we see a bunch of loafers enjoying an old joke in front of a general store. One of them, Bates, bets his friend Steve a hundred dollars that he catches the biggest fish he ever saw before this time tomorrow, and Shining Knight overhears this. Steve points out he once saw a whale, so good luck getting anything that large! Haha! When Bates tries to go back on his bet, however, Shining Knight intervenes and tells him he must keep his part of the bargain!
After that little confrontation is finished, Bates and the Knight walk away together and discuss the bet, with the latter bringing up that technically a whale isn't even a fish, but Steve probably doesn't care about the specifics. Anyway, the Shining Knight implies he'll help Bates win his bet, in exchange for some information about a certain shipment of platinum - he believes thieves are after it! Bates agrees and quickly explains that there's close to a million dollars worth down at the dock, waiting to be loaded on a ship to Seattle…
At that very moment, a small boat bearing Genghis Khan and a bunch of gangsters approaches the docks, and two guards watch it approach with suspicion. Right behind them is a stack of huge boxes which contain all the platinum, naturally. They warn the arriving boat that they can't tie up to this dock, only for the gangsters to open fire and kill them both. Some of the gangsters discuss keeping some of this expensive platinum for themselves, but another points out that Doome is paying them handsomely for the job. They pack a few of the boxes into their boat, then set sail for a nearby iceberg to hide out until dark, after which they can head for home without any trouble.
The firing of guns brought the Shining Knight and Bates running, but they're too late to prevent the robbery. Sir Justin tells Bates to get his boat in case some of these criminals have to be fished out of the sea, while he takes his steed Victory and overtakes them from the air. He flies over the iceberg but doesn't see hide nor hair of the robbers - maybe they've hidden in some crevice, and they lie in ambush? After dismounting on the ice, gadzooks, a huge animal of some type attacks - a bear, maybe? The knight loses his footing and slips into one of those crevices but he uses his sword to pierce the frozen wall beside him, and finds himself dangling next to a cavern entrance into the heart of the iceberg - doubtless where the rats have gone into hiding, too!
Inside, a weird greenish light illuminates everything, and it turns out Genghis has a second, larger ship in there which is carrying all the stolen cargo. Sir Justin leaps down from a ledge overhead and starts attacking the gangsters, bullets bouncing off his armor as he cuts weapons in half because they're annoyingly noisy. (Seriously.) One man in some kind of mongolian armor - but not Genghis, since he's just watching - swings with his sword but breaks it over the hero's golden helmet, after which Sir Justin… slices his already broken weapon in half again? All the baddies team up, though, and soon enough they manage to overwhelm the knight and toss him over the edge of the boat into the water, where he immediately sinks like a stone due to his metal armor.
Genghis takes his ship out of the cavern through a small wedge-shaped door of ice at the far side, intent on using the iceberg to keep out of sight of land until they can head south. Deep in the water, meanwhile, Sir Justin's sword has once again pierced the icy walls to prevent the knight from sinking too far, and he then uses it to clamber back to the surface. Meanwhile, Bill Bates approaches the iceberg with his own small boat, and spots a whale in the distance - and the ship carrying the pirates who stole the precious metals! And he can't get either of them! Flashing down from the sky, then, Victory approaches carrying the Shining Knight… He smashes down towards the whale with his harpoon and impales it, using it go goad the animal towards the pirate vessel that's trying to get away! Smash!
With the ship in pieces, Sir Justin catches Genghis Khan by his robes with his lance and flies off with him. Bates, meanwhile, muses that he got his whale too - it's in its death struggles due to the impact. Two of the gangsters beg for Bates not to let them die, and he asks for the radium first - not platinum, apparently? After quickly loading the boxes onto Bates' ship, Bates relents and allows the two to hitch a ride back to shore. So it is that the 'amazing aquacade' makes its way back to Jackpot. Bates gets the last laugh about his bet, the gangsters are imprisoned by local law enforcement, and Genghis Khan decides to cut his losses and uses the scepter given to him by Doome to return to his own time, disappearing.
This time, Doctor Doome hears about the capture of two gunmen on the radio, as well as talk of three men wearing ancient costumes vanishing. (I guess that means the guy in Mongolian armor was just an extra goon conjured as backup at some point? It's never explicitly said and they disappear from panel to panel.) Doome is furious that Genghis failed him too, and fear enters his treacherous mind. Now that the Shining Knight has appeared, he finally realizes that the Seven Soldiers of Victory are against him. What a terrible misfortune! If they discover him before he's ready for the future, he must escape into the past! He'll choose a hiding place in history!
Chapter 4 - The Spirit of Wild Bill Dickinson! (Vigilante)
We move over to the Black Hills, where strange legends survive and a weird old man with a long beard hides in an ancient cabin - Wild Bill Dickinson. In the distance he watches a pack train of donkeys loaded down with metals head from the mines to refineries - in the old days they had to look out for bandits on that road! Lurking in ambush, though, are exactly such raiders - Attila the Hun and his marauding huns, as terrible today as when they pillaged Europe centuries ago. Suddenly they attack and push many of the men escorting the metals off the edge of the narrow mountain path, grabbing the tantalum they require. Now they need only escort the beasts of burden out of the mountains, and their job is done!
The fighting is not yet ended, for Wild Bill witnessed the action and decides to mount his own donkey, Clarabelle, to face off with these varmints. He pulls a pair of pistols on the raiders and tells them to stick their hands up, but Atilla commands his troops to kill the old man. Bill opens fire, but Atilla's sword thrusts spook Clarabelle who bucks and tosses Bill off her back, and down into a ravine. Attila looks over the edge and regrets he didn't get to do the dead himself, but at least the rocks down below are deadly! Nearby, one of the guards of the pack train survived getting tossed down there and decides to head for Deadwood Gulch to inform the Sheriff of what's happened here. What a break that he landed in such a deep pool!
Meanwhile, at Deadwood Gulch, a train drops off Vigilante and Mr. Billy Gunn of Times Square. They've arrived 'really out west', where Wild Bill Dickinson was actually the Sheriff, once upon a time. Nearby, the pack train guard is telling everyone about what happened on the mountain trail - a gang jumped them, and killed his friend Ed! Vigilante concludes Atilla beat him to the punch, and decides to grab something a little faster than a donkey to get up there. He brought his motorcycle! Vigilante and Gunn head up the trail and encounter a loose donkey that's focused on something over the edge of the ravine, and when they look down there they discover Wild Bill, still alive, hanging by his belt from a jutting branch. Lucky! Vigilante quickly tosses down a lasso and drags him back to safety.
Gunn is amazed when he hears Wild Bill's name - didn't he get killed in Deadwood sixty-six years ago? Wild Bill refuses to explain himself, as he's tired of being laughed at. Now, if they're here to look for robbers… they're that way! Vigilante quickly gets underway again. Meanwhile, a posse of people out to avenge Ed ride off on horseback along the same roads and find Wild Bill as well, and they quickly arrest him for robbery and murder - they aren't too interested in getting the right man, just vengeance. As such, they decide that since Wild Bill claims to be a dead hero, clearly he's a liar, and he deserves everything he gets. And the law doesn't reach this far! It's time for a lynching! Sure enough, they find a nearby tree and grab a rope, ready to lynch the old man…
Meanwhile, Atilla has made his way to Mount Rushmore, where he wonders if these huge stone heads are idols of the land? What if they are great deities displeased with them, one of his men wonders? Attila figures some stone images can't do anything. The Huns quickly hide behind some rocks when they hear Vigilante's motorcycle approach. They then quickly pile some rocks into the road to block the hero's passage. Unaware of the trap, Vigilante and Gunn are heading full tilt towards the newly built barricade and with a mighty wrench of the handlebars and the screeching of tires they streak into the empty space beside the road, falling into the ravine. At the last moment Vigilante uses his lasso to latch onto a rock spire and saves the two men, though their ride is destroyed. By George, they made it! By George Washington!
Making their way onto a nearby cliff, Vigilante and Gunn watch Atilla and his men making their getaway, and decide there must be a plane or truck waiting below to take them away. Vigilante will take a shortcut! Attila, superstitious, thinks that the figure swinging down towards him is a ghost - a spirit of vengeance sent after him because he killed the man just a little while earlier! Vigilante swings into the scene (which is apparently a theme with these guys) and knocks the Huns away, but they are stalwart warriors and quickly rally, only for Gunn to pull out his pistol and disarm the men before they can gang up on the hero.
Later, Vigilante and Gunn escort the Huns back across the mountain trail after tying them up with a lasso, keeping an eye out for the posse that was coming up behind them. They discover them as they are mid-way through their lynching, having already loaded Wild Bill onto a horse and tied a rope around his neck. They were just telling the horse to giddy up when Vigilante intervenes, with Gunn shooting the rope while he dashes in and declares that this man they caught fought the killers, he's a hero! The miscarriage of justice is averted at the last moment. Wild Bill then explains that actually he's not the original Wild Bill Dickinson - that was his uncle. He was named after the old sheriff, but nobody ever believes him! He's tired of being thought of as crazy!
The posse, still pissed and now without a lynching target, turn on the Huns. Atilla, pulls out his scepter and declares that this tool, given to him by Doctor Doome at his Long Island Tower, shall take him and his men back to happier days of loot and pillage! He disappears, after which Vigilante lets the local sheriff know the truth about Wild Bill's identity, and muses that between his name, sharing the likeness of his uncle, and being chock-full of the same fighting spirit as the original, he'll make a good deputy! All's well that ends well…?
Bad news travels swiftly to the secret stronghold of Doctor Doome. Doome pulls his hair out as he tries to keep it together. Just because Vigilante outwitted Atilla doesn't mean much - he was never brilliant, just strong and ruthless! There's still the coldest, cleverest villain of them all… Nero! If he seizes the uranium, Doome may yet be able to project himself into the future. But if Nero fails too, he may have to flee back through time…
Chapter 5 - Fiddler's Farewell (Crimson Avenger)
The lure of the sea proves too much for a small boy and a smaller dog, over in a seaport town. Sammy Singer dreams of high adventures and sneaks onto a ship with his dog Scraps, determined to hide until they're at sea, at which point he'll ask the Captain to be made a cabin boy! The ship Triton leaves harbor soon after, and the stowaways are discovered, mostly because Sammy is seasick. Sammy regrets getting on the ship already, terribly homesick, and his dog actually chimes in too - for some reason it gets proper text balloons with his barks converted into english! Soon enough Sammy is set to work swabbing the decks…
At dusk, a strange ship creeps out to sea from a sheltered cove on Long Island. Strange music wails as Nero saws tunelessly at his fiddle. He's joined by a bunch of slaves and soldiers from Ancient Rome, who don't appreciate the noise at all. Below decks, the lash cracks as slaves are forced to row their emperor around despite, you know, engines existing. Also, it's a sailing ship to boot. As the moon rises, Nero spots the silhouette of a freighter on the horizon, the Triton, which is their prey. They fire off some signal rockets to pretend to be a sailing vessel in distress. The Triton turns to assist the galley, and one of the soldiers on board shouts that they're movie actors and have gotten away from location and lost at sea - words that Doctor Doome taught him to say…
Sammy and Scraps hear about this and decide that a ship from a movie company would get to shore way earlier than the Triton and they sneak over to the other ship to hide out there instead. They spot the slaves inside and are confused about what's going on. Meanwhile, Nero uses the 'rescue' to get his people on board the freighter, after which he turns around and commands his forces to attack. Unarmed sailors are driven into their ship to escape the onslaught on the deck, and surrender becomes a matter of minutes. Afterwards, the soldiers start grabbing the uranium they need - which is apparently just lying around in large boes with rivets on them. While Nero plays a song of victory, another ship witnesses the signal rockets and approaches - this one bearing the Crimson Avenger and his sidekick Wing! They've finally tracked down Nero!
The heroes quickly climb aboard the Triton and attack. The Avenger punches Nero while Wing (who is such a bad asian stereotype, holy shit) starts kicking in the heads of various soldiers by swinging off the ropes on the ship. I'm not entirely sure a steel freighter like that would have dangling ropes from sails, but sure. The romans have a numbers advantage, though, and the two get overwhelmed (at one point Wing is drawn or colored incorrectly, though, so it's a bit confusing.) Two romans manage to grab Wing and try to crush him with their shields, and he lets out a 'Help, Mist' Climson!' which just, ugh. Crimson Avenger plunges to the rescue with his fists, but he's knocked unconscious by the romans without any effort.
Nero orders his men to set fire to the Triton, so it can be a funeral pyre for the sailors in the hold. His not-so-great music plays an accompaniment to the flames as they get back to their own galley and turn landwards. Minutes later the heroes wake up to find they've been left on the Triton's deck, and discover it's on fire. They rush over and open the door to the lower decks to let the crew out. While the crew goes to put out the flames, the Avenger and Wing board their speedboat and set off after the villains. Wing is pretty incensed, but it mostly comes out in incredibly hokey racial stereotype ways, so let's not linger on that.
Back on the roman ship, Sammy and his dog are still watching the slaves getting lashed, and decide if they ever get home, they'll stay there! The Crimson Avenger and Wing catch up, meanwhile, but their stealthy approach is ruined by a watchful sentry who concludes that the two must be ghosts coming to plague them. Some romans quickly use a net to once again capture the two heroes - these are kind of screw-ups, aren't they? Since the net can touch them, the soldiers conclude they're not ghosts and thus they should be run through with a sword! Nero then arrives and says not to kill the heroes, for two slaves have collapsed at the oars, and these trouble-makers can take their place. Sammy, fearful, realizes that superheroes are being enslaved now - what chance do a little kid and a pup have?
While the slavemaster whips Wing - who thinks it's still preferable to Nero's fiddling - Sammy decides to go for it and sneaks up, stealing the man's sword while Scraps goes for his leg. He then strikes the slavemaster in the head with the sword and he goes down. The heroes free themselves afterwards and compliment Sammy, after which they go around freeing the other slaves - they'll need them! Sammy then asks, after the bad guys are beaten, if he could be taken back to his mom…
Moments later, a burst of scarlet smoke bursts in front of Nero, which startles Nero so much that he accidentally produces a harmonic note. Hark, the emperor's music improves! Crimson Avenger rushes out of the smoke, calling Nero a fatty before smashing down a couple of roman soldiers. He then grabs Nero's fiddle and smashes it over the emperor's bald head. He tells Wing to take the rest 'to Chinatown' and he knocks several more guards down into the hold, where the slaves quickly strike at their tormentors. Now they are the masters! Nero, realizing that his plan is doomed, uses Doome's scepter to head back to his own time. It seems that during this whole affair, Nero's ship was still heading back towards Doome's lair, and the lighthouse is actually visible on the horizon. Could that be Doome's hideout, Crimson Avenger wonders? He decides not to head there right now, since he still has to bring Sammy and Scraps back to their home, to tell Sammy's parents how brave they were! Tackling Doctor Doome is a job for all the legionnaires together! Plenty of doom is coming to Doome!
Atop his desolate lighthouse, Doctor Doome watches in despair as the last of his tyrants from the past goes down in defeat. Why did he not eliminate those meddlesome legionnaires before he sent out his tyrants? Perhaps it's not too late, though. Let them dare come here - those idiots who thinkt he law is everything! He'll destroy them! Then he can complete his machine and project himself into the future. It might work even now, but no… it would be dangerous to attempt it! But he shall yet rule the world… alone… the most magnificent tyrant of eternity!
Finale (Everyone)
From sea and forest, from mountain and plain, the heroic seven gather for the final phase of their dangerous task. They discuss their various adventures, and Star-Spangled Kid wishes they knew where to look for Doctor Doome. Vigilante notes that Atilla said something about a tower in Long Island, while Crimson Avenger declares that he's actually seen the tower in question - a lighthouse - and he can lead everyone there! Within the hour the valiant band converges swiftly on the lighthouse, traveling via plane, flying horse, or car-named-after-a-plane. Baleful eyes watch from inside the tower with cruel anticipation. He's prepared a fitting welcome for these heroes!
As the heroes approach, a full-on cartoon bomb is launched from the tower, but Vigilante quickly uses his gun to shoot off the burning wick, turning it into a dud. As the group then enters the building, they encounter a room where needle-tipped rods of steel dart like lances from the walls and try to impale them, but the Shining Knight swiftly cuts them off in one strike of his super-sharp sword. Wew!
A panel opens in the wall and reveals Doctor Doome standing inside the aperture of his time machine, declares that while the heroes may have escaped his bombs and thicket of lancets, those were but tricks to divert them until he could choose the place of his retirement. Their combined efforts have only served to delay his plans a little - but he can take his skills and knowledge into the past, and work there as well as in this benighted century! If they follow, it will be at their own peril…
Doome disappears into the time machine, while Speedy discovers one of the scepters that Doome's tyrants used to get back to their own time period. The seven quickly hold a council of war and decide to head inside the machine to track down Doome. Fearlessly, they plunge into the unknown! What does it feel like to travel through time? A jarring shock sweeps through them as they strike a flaming curtain of energy within the machine, and there is a roaring like a tremendous waterfall in their ears, then blackness, and a feeling of falling through a million miles of empty space. Finally, they stumble forward again, onto firm ground…They arrive in the twelfth century BCE, at the Siege of Troy. In the distance, the famous wooden horse that will smuggle Greeks into the city is visible, just as Homer described it. Forsooth, 'tis a wondrous sight!
There's little time to marvel, because the group is almost immediately approached by Ulysses, the Greek general, who apparently took Doome as an advisor. Ulysses commands his soldiers to seize the heroes, and combat ensues. Green Arrow and Speedy use arrows to disarm some of the Greeks, while Vigilante swings off the wooden horse and kicks a few men in the face with his spurs. Shining Knight goes for what, at first blush, looks like a rather gory blow - but I'm pretty sure what's visible is supposed to be hair, not bisected brains. He just cut the top of their helmets off! Ulysses steps in and stops the fighting, dubious that warriors so bold and brave would stoop to base treachery. When they point out Doome is the real treacherous one, and Shining Knight gives his oath that they've pursued the man because he's a traitor to his country and his generation, Ulysses decides he'd rather believe a man in golden armor than a sniveling wretch anyway.
Ulysses declares that for giving false witness, Doome shall ride with the soldiers in the belly of the wooden horse into the city, so he can be the first to leap out and the first to be slain! The scientist has his own ideas and declares that he has no intention of remaining here - he intended to trap his enemies here, in the past, and now he'll head back to the future and leave them here! He pulls out one of his scepters and vanishes. The heroes explain the whole affair as some kind of wizardry and muse on how they can return to the future as well, though Ulysses offers them positions in his army - they can fight for riches and honor! That's when Speedy arrives and suggests he might have a way of helping…
In the meantime, Doome has returned to the present and chortles at his cleverness - now he can perfect his machine without interference while the heroes wander around in Asia. (I mean, technically, but it's very close…) Suddenly his machine activates and heroes rush out of it - no, it can't be! Speedy took one of Doome's scepters earlier, and it served as their return ticket! Doome, out of options, decides to go for broke and declares that without the precious metals he needed his time machine will blow up… but not before projecting him into the future! Farewell, fools! Doome rushes into the machine and it detonates with a huge explosion. In the aftermath, it's not clear whether Doome succeeded in crashing the forbidden gate of the future, or if he perished in the ruin of his over-ambition. All they know is that he departed from this world. And so we leave our victorious legionnaires as they head back to their own lives, until another criminal threat to mankind sends them once more along the road of perilous adventure…
All-Star Squadron #29 - A Man Called Doome! (That was his name -- honest!)
This issue has a framing narrative in which the Shining Knight is defending Britain during the Blitz in 1942, after which Winston Churchill meets with him and gives him a message from his colleagues in America. Apparently it's from Liberty Belle, chairwoman of the All-Star Squadron, calling for a general meeting of the All-Stars which he should attend. Mr. Roosevelt insists! Churchill wonders if he'll actually go, and Shining Knight admits that in debating his choice, he's reminded of a less powerful band of heroes he fought besides in a mere trio of adventures before he became Britain's protector… the Seven Soldiers of Victory! Churchill is curious and asks about these brave lads…
The story that follows is a condensed rehash of the issue I've already summarized above, but there's some notable changes along the way - and minor ones. Firstly, Doome's lighthouse is a lot more imposing in this incarnation, and when summoned Alexander the Great now swears by Zeus instead of Jupiter, which is more accurate to where and when he's from. Doome also helpfully explains that his 'wands' do more than just send the tyrants back through time - they'll also translate for them, allowing them to communicate with each other despite their different languages, which fills up one plot hole. Napoleon still breaks into French anyway. Besides some new art, the rest of the story pretty much proceeds the same, though in far fewer pages. Instead of entire long stories about each of the five heroes (which were pretty much the same tale repeated a bunch) we get some 'summary' pages of those middle adventures, and we mostly focus on the essentials of what occurred.
Shining Knight's story is covered first, and it completely cuts out all the stuff about icebergs, whales, fishermen… It's just him bouncing bullets away, then using his lance to catch Genghis Khan and his men, after which they disappear. Star-Spangled Kid's story only covers him taking down Napoleon's plane and the conqueror nearly getting grabbed by some folks from Arkham Asylum, and while Green Arrow's tale does show the death of Starr, everything about Oscar is left out, and the robots only make a cameo appearance. Vigilante's tale is limited to the final fight scene on top of Mount Rushmore, leaving out Wild Bill and the lynching entirely. Crimson Avenger's story, finally, focuses on the final fight on the ship, though Sammy does appear briefly. Wing doesn't speak at all, which is probably wise.
The finale section, which takes up half of this issue due to all the compression, includes a retcon which explains how Doctor Doome got his time-travel formula when he worked with Professor Everson's group, thus tying him into a couple other characters from the All-Star Squadron comics. Doome also tosses a bundle of dynamite out the window instead of a cartoon bomb, and when the Seven Soldiers eventually travel back in time, they meet Odysseus (not Ulysses) which makes a bit more sense since they're explicitly speaking Greek. Agamemnon is also present and takes a bigger role in dismissing Doome, and the decision is made to make all eight of these time-traveling strangers get into the Trojan Horse so they'll see which speak the truth by how valiantly they fight. The heroes are okay with that, but Doome flees back to the future, thus revealing his evil plan.
Back in said future, Doome now calls the place the heroes wander 'Asia Minor', and notices the heroes returning to the future and employs a last-minute plan to defeat them. He communicates with Sir Justin in transit and tells him that if he grabs the time rod from Speedy's hand, Doome will make sure to use his time machine to return the man to his own time period, to King Arthur's court in the era he was ripped away from. The Shining Knight notes that even if he could trust Doome, he would say no if it came at the expense of his allies! There's also an actual depiction of Doome diving under the legs of the Shining Knight to get to his time machine, explaining how he got around the heroes the first time around…
This whole nostalgic reverie finally ends with Doome's defeat, and we return to the framing narrative. Churchill and Sir Justin discuss his departure to America, and the Shining Knight decides not to leave at present, but to remain in England. This is his homeland, this is where Arthur pulled the sword from the stone and made himself monarch, and here he fell, betrayed by foe and friend alike. How can he desert this land in its greatest hour of need?
Comments
I'm not sure what it is about Doctor Doom, but apparently even approximating the good Doctor's appellation means you're obligated to become a mad scientist villain with a time machine and a secret base full of traps. Who knew? The actual story is honestly kind of repetitive, and for reasons unknown to me the heroes spend a good eighty percent of this story not teaming up. Isn't that sort of the point of forming a team? Instead, we get what amounts to a series of vignettes of a given hero taking down one of the time-displaced conquerors and their goons, all of which are relatively easily defeated by the heroes just sort of showing up and doing their usual thing - but not until after they get their asses handed to them by superior numbers. Getting these time-travelers involved didn't actually help, it seems!
Of the vignettes, my favorite is probably Vigilante's, just because it just has more going on - and for the same reason, maybe Shining Knight's is second. My least favorite, for fairly obvious reasons, is Crimson Avenger's story - how freaking racist was the past, that Wing was at all acceptable? I'm not a big fan of Green Arrow's tale either, it seemed to have absolutely no relation to Alexander the Great whatsoever (which is honesty the case for several of the time-displaced conquerors.) Star-Spangled Kid is kind of dumb, but I am amused by an addled Napoleon misidentifying a horse and getting shoved into an insane asylum with several other people who think they're him, and that kind of saves it.
On the whole, it's more than a little weird that there's this recurring element in these stories where most the heroes get captured or bound or defeated, and then return for a rematch and win handily. They get taken out so easily, too - and given that none of these really seem to have flashy superpowers, barring the Shining Knight with his flying horse, things gets a bit samey. Still, I suppose it's quite a good deal to get what amounts to like six adventures in one! Still, it's nice to get a bit of a view of superheroes in these early years - they're much more lowkey in general than the ones we know now, but familiar elements of later heroes are already present. A lot of them like to swing around on wires, for example, and one of them was frozen in a block of ice for ages - why do those sound familiar...?
I appreciate that we do actually have a team-up segment in this book, but it is unfortunately very brief, presumably because the writers were running out of pages. Doctor Doome himself technically survives his encounter with the heroes, but we never really see what becomes of him. As far as I'm aware there has never been any follow-up beyond the All-Star Squadron flashback issue. I'd be rather amused to see a modern DC issue come out where Doctor Doome arrives from the past and discovers that the world has sort of moved on without him… In any case, Doome also gets slightly more credit in the second issue, expanding on the capabilities of his invention and also adding in a list-ditch attempt to subvert the heroes by trying to make a deal with one of them - it was never going to work, but at least he comes off as more capable! It's weird how the old comic is way longer and more elaborate, but the new one seems like it at least took the time with its main villain…
Most Glorious Doome Quotes
"I am the greatest scientist in all history - but what I need now, to augment my genius, are its greatest conquerors."
"Welcome, gentlemen, to glory and power beyond your wildest dreams! The year is 1942, gentlemen - annoy domini, as they say - and I am Doctor Doome!"
"The failure of one man needn't ruin my plans…"
"If they discover me before I am ready for the future, I must escape into the past! I shall choose a hiding place in history!"
""I shall yet rule the world - alone - the most magnificent tyrant of all eternity!"
"So be it! Return then, if you insist, to a world of global war and infinite suffering - and to the wrath of Doctor Doome!"
"You can't stop me! Without the five metals I needed, this machine will blow up - but first it will project me into my kingdom of the future! Farewell, fools!"
…Also, April Fools.
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I believe the JSA used the same format, and I think several issue of Roy Thomas' Invaders, which was his homage to the Golden Age, did something similar, so I presume that was the standard format. Keep in mind, most comics at the time would have several stories, often featuring different characters.
i believe the point is that having a bunch of characters working together will attract attention, and hopefully get people to buy the book their solo adventures appear in.
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SolipsistSerpent
Endlessly Devouring
I'm only part way through this long post and I have to say the villain's plan is bonkers. And not the time travel aspects, but his choice of targets. If I was going to stage a train robbery to gain parts for my time machine you know who I would snatch from the past? People with experience robbing trains! Or at least people who know what trains are, which I think only applies to Napoleon out of this list. I mean, don't get me wrong, a lot of the people targeted were legitimately clever and talented but large scale military strategy, logistics, and politics aren't areas you need for robbing mineral shipments. Especially when the people involved aren't even familiar with modern technology!
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- Pronouns
- He/Him
Agreed. I get the feeling that Dr. Doome was an expert on physics, with little actual knowledge of history. He simply picked people with big famous names who were know to be world-conquerors, figuring "I want to take over the world, and they must be good at that sort of thing."
SolipsistSerpent
Endlessly Devouring
What, Alexander the Great gets a catapult, but Napoleon, famous for his use of artillery, doesn't get artillery cannons? Boo.
Also, how the devil is Alexander the Great capable of figuring out robot controls?
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- Location
- Netherlands
I completely missed the typo, oh the humiliation.Maybe he likes Neapolitan ice cream, and got a little confused?
Variant 14: Marvel Knights - Fantastic Four 1234 #3-4 (2001-2002)
- Location
- Netherlands
Variant 14: Marvel Knights - Fantastic Four 1234 #3-4 (December 2001 - January 2002)
Covers
We've got some more epic covers today, with one featuring a fight between Johnny and Namor, seemingly taking place underwater - but with Johnny's fire still active somehow? I didn't think that would work… The other cover has a much more familiar theme going on - namely the return of the bride of the revenge of Giant Cover Doom! Everyone's there except for Reed, who's still Mr. Not Appearing In This Miniseries. He's had no lines whatsoever up to this point! Let's see if things make a little more sense with full context…
Story Overview
3. Darkness and the Mole Man
We start off with a page of Johnny taking on the giant subterranean monster from the end of last issue, burning the number '4' around it in flames. We witness several close-ups of him engulfed in flames - and then we switch abruptly to Latveria. Doom is standing in his graveyard, a stone's throw away from his mother's tomb, and he crushes his figurine of Johnny in his fist, declaring: 'And three.' He muses that all men, even the noblest, are driven by the same base impulses. The sweet smile of the peace activist hides his raging need to make war on the makers of war. Behind every 'selfless' act, behind every example of so-called heroism, there lies the craving of validation and status in the eyes of others! Is it only the lessons of experience which make monsters of them… or saints?
'Game status?' Doom then asks incongruently as he returns to his castle… then he quite literally pulls back the curtains. Electronic messages begin flooding his way, reporting on various 'Meta-Gambits', including something about the Mole Man's monster attacking New York, as well as a note about Reed Richards. Doom mutters to himself that they shall see what the answer to his question is… for now experience itself is open to manipulation! Now human lives and histories are simply pawns in the great game of dominion… in Doom's game! The camera pans back from Doom, now surrounded by spheres of light in a manner reminiscent to those images of Reed, to reveal the true mastermind behind everything that's going on. And suddenly things begin to make a bit more sense.
What we see here is an artificial being - an advanced problem-solving, game-playing android. Yes, it's the triumphant return of the Prime Mover! We've previously seen this thing in 1968's Strange Tales #167, as part of a story in which Doom used various robots to screw around with Nick Fury and SHIELD, as well as the Master of Kung-Fu #59-60 two-parter from 1977, in which Doom basically drove Iron Fist insane with weird robot shenanigans. No wonder this series has been so weird, then - this entire thing has been an elaborate game! Seems like Morrison really stuck to the source material, given the craziness of those previous stories.
Now that the veil has been lifted on the great reality-altering game that's being played here, we see that Doom's next move is contextualized as a metaphorical chess-move to put his enemies in check. Doom launches his Servitor on New York, revealed to be a gigantic Doombot large enough to smash ships to smithereens with a casual gesture. This thing can loom over the city like freaking Godzilla! I guess that second cover wasn't lying. Giant Cover Doom is real!
Elsewhere, Johnny flies around the sky and spots Namor and Sue, who are perched on a skyscraper for some reason. Namor comments that he expected the Human Torch's presence here, and normally he'd relish the scalding steam clouds and glorious combustions of their encounters - but all things are fluid tonight… and water extinguishes flame! Sue cries for Namor to stop, asking him not to hurt Johnny, but the Sub-Mariner just tells the hurricanes to rage, and calls for the skies to empty the sea unto the land! As the rain intensifies Johnny yells at his sister that there are monsters around, but the rain suddenly begins to interfere with his abilities and he sputters that he can't get through the rain. He's drowning! He's… Johnny falls, twirling down towards the distant ground below with sputtering flames. Instead of hitting the pavement, though, he slips into one of the fissures that the monster came out of earlier and vanishes from sight.
Sue screams in horror and demands to know why Namor is doing this? And why can't she control her force fields…!? Namor informs her that the latter is because Namor is short-circuiting her bio-electric aura with his own - Isn't that right? Or does she just want to believe it can? Namor proclaims that he still feels the same way about Sue as he always has - he still thunders and aches for her in lamplit underwater nights! Sue reminds him that she married Reed, and Namor just says that was her mistake, but now she should join him in the drowned pavilions of Atlantis and soon she'll forget Reed! She should let him deliver her safely from the doom that has come!
'Doom?' Sue asks, immediately catching on to the wordplay. Namor readily confirms that of course Doom is involved - his war with Reed ends tonight, with Richards' death! Namor agreed to assist him, he explains, but only in return for Sue's life. His love! Sue wonders how Namor could talk about love, and then allow all this to happen? The love he's talking about isn't real! Namor just nuzzles her hand and says that love is the name they use to prettify a savage genetic imperative… Only Sue can calm the storm in his thoughts, and with her at his side he could find peace of mind! Sue insists that these people in the Fantastic Four are her family, but Namor tells her again to forget all about them and come away with him, far from this dry, sad world! She should let him show her the luxuries of the abyss. Deep down, isn't that what she yearns for? We get another brief flash of Reed, his face contorted, surrounded by gleaming spheres of light and twisted wires…
Johnny, meanwhile, falls ever deeper into the bowels of the Earth, descending down endless tunnels carved by the Mole Man's monsters, his flames guttering all the way. In one of the deeper caverns we see the Mole Man himself, as he addresses the prone body of a familiar person - it's Alicia Masters, who seems to have somehow ended up here after that encounter with Namor at her home. The Mole Man asks Alicia if she can feel it - that dry heat from where Johnny falls, and keeps falling until the Mole Man's great dark snuffs out his light? But then, he points out, Alicia has never seen his flame, has she? Alicia snaps back that she's felt its warmth on her skin, and she knows Johnny will save her! The Torch finally lands in a nearby pool, his flames doused by the cold waters. 'Save you?' Mole Man repeats curiously. He insists that Alicia and the Mole Man are perfectly matched, for neither can see the other's ugliness!
Mole Man goes to grab Alicia, but when she tries to wrestle free he decides that nobody must have told her how ugly she is - only a monster could ever want her! She'll learn… she'll love him, body and soul, and come to revel in her new life! Nearby, Johnny finally manages to wrestle himself upright and snarls that the Mole Man should leave Alicia alone. He then haltingly promises her that he'll kick this guy's butt! Mole Man muses that surface-worlders all think they're so very special, so bright and beautiful in their cities upstairs… but down here is eternal night with no morning, and here the Mole Man is special and it's them who are nothing!
In the city way above them, at Glory Hospital, we see Ben still lying in his bed, muttering to himself that it's chaos outside and nothing makes sense anymore. He asks for Sol, the guy in the next bed over, but he gets no answer. Apparently the guy was being noisy and Ben can't sleep, but eventually he manages to nap… only to snap back awake by more noise. What was that sound? Can Sol also hear it all going to hell? It's like a bad dream, he thinks - like he's back in the war… Everything's like a bad dream. He keeps thinking he'll wake up, that he'll just snap awake and… remember who he's supposed to be.
Ben cries out for Sol's help once more, and slowly begins remembering things. As images of Reed and the mask of Doom intersperse his thoughts, he recalls that he was always a big guy, but… he doesn't think he ever really took control of his life, you know? He's always been at the mercy of things, that's what he realizes. He was a soldier, since he knew it was right for a guy his size to protect those too weak to protect themselves, and that's about the closest thing he ever had to a religion. Truth is that he always went along with anyone who seemed like they had a plan. Ah, jeez… everything's going wrong, and it's all his fault! He calls for Sol again, to help him out of this. Doom's eye is all that looks back at him…
Suddenly Sol speaks up from behind the curtain around the next bed. So, now it's Ben who needs help? Too late, dumbass! Sol snaps that he's right - nothing means a damn thing to him anymore! Doctors and nurses saved Ben's life, and all he can do is whine! We see behind the curtain, and it's revealed that Sol wasn't the one speaking, but a doctor who's busy fondling a nurse. The nurse tells him off for doing something so evil, and it's revealed that Sol has actually passed away, and the two healthcare workers are making out over his corpse. Ew. The doctor flirts with the nurse by telling her that in the midst of death, let there be life… before speaking up again, and imitates Sol's voice to tell Ben he should quit his damn griping, one-armed sissy, and get out there and work for a living like everyone else!
Ben, unaware of what's really happening, says that was pretty harsh. He knows he offended Sol, but he thought… He meant… After pausing for a moment, he decides that maybe the guy's right after all. Maybe sometimes a man does have to face the worst about himself before he recognizes the best. Clutching his dog tags, Ben decides he doesn't care if it's World War Three out there… he's Ben Grimm, and by God he's going to find Reed Richards and finish this!
Deep underground, the Mole Man has defeated the weakened Johnny off-panel, and announces that the foundation stone is shattered, and thus the house falls down! The grotesque Thing, whose crust Alicia so lovingly fondled, is lost without memory in the city above! Doom's victim! Just as the Human Torch is his own victim! He'll never see the sky again, and his flame will gutter and die in his dungeons! Soon he'll be a broken thing of smoldering coal, toiling blindly in the pit. He hands Alicia a pair of shears and tells her to make Johnny like them… she should cut out his eyes and blind the boy! Alicia yells an emphatic no to that idea, and she's soon joined by other voices. Sue and Namor suddenly arrive, to tell Mole Man to leave his latest victims out of this! Sue then dryly asks Namor if these are those luxuries of the abyss he promised her…?
Mole Man demands to know if this is betrayal, stating that he was promised the Torch as his slave! Blind, ugly Alicia was supposed to live out her days as his omnipotent, subterranean queen! Namor was only supposed to receive Sue! Doom guaranteed all of them would get from Richards' death what they most wanted, after all. Namor declares that this isn't how it should go, for the Human Torch is his foe, and he can't permit the Mole Man to crush his spirit like some animal! Mole Man insists that Doom is master of them all, Namor knows that… for he has a machine now to make his will into reality! While Doom rules the world above, so must the two of them form an alliance of the great powers of the underworld - Namor's deep ocean realm and the endless buried cloister of the Mole Man's own kingdom! Namor wonders if this is really Doom's best offer, that he and the Mole Man should make an alliance…? Mole Man points out that Doom is kind only to his servants. Listen, can he not feel the ground shaking above them? Namor's people brought his wrath here!
Up above, the giant Servitor Doombot walks ashore and into New York city… Sue points out to Namor that Doom's clearly told everyone something different to get them on board with this plan. What did he do for Doom this time, exactly? What's happening up there…? Namor explains that the Atlantean Navy delivered a special gift to Reed Richards… a gift from Doctor Doom. It was a submarine vessel carrying a prototype Doom robot, and it's been waiting at the bottom of the river for days. Now the time has come, and Doom's will be done! Sue snarls that this will only happen over her dead body! Namor's been used, just as Doom has tried to use all of them!
Alicia is relieved that Johnny is alright, since she was convinced the Mole Man was going to hurt him - this is all horrible! Johnny reassures her that he's been here before, and while the Mole Man talks big, he always chickens out in the end. Now, as for the gigantic deformed dirt-whale he just sicced on them from the Earth's core… that's another thing altogether! That came right out of nowhere…
Mole Man dramatically poses before a distant looming eye and declares that its name is Moho, one of the Archean Constructions from the eternal magma below… It came when he called it with Doom's new machines, and it will remake the city above in the Mole Man's image! He instructs the beast to leave only a crater of precious sewage behind, a garbage tip of buried treasures! Namor intercedes, declaring that no man living is his master… So how dare Doom think to place him on a level with the Mole Man!? The subterranean villain promptly attacks because of this disrespect, only for him to smack straight into Sue's invisible force field, knocking himself out.
Johnny worriedly tells Sue that they've now got the mother of all monsters on their tail, and he's way out of gas! Isn't it Reed's turn to get them out of here? Alicia warns the others that the monster is coming, it's tearing up the bedrock… Namor responds coolly by addressing the 'mole king' and telling him that he wished to have an alliance with his realm, correct? Well, he'd best learn to swim! WIth that he smashes a huge hole in the wall, and water begins rushing into the cavern. Namor then cradles Sue's chin and tells her he did this for her. As the sea engulfs the Mole Man's kingdom, washing him away alongside his minions, Sue forms a force field to keep her friends safe. Namor leads them out of the depths, also picking up the Fantasticar they used to get down into the subterranean lands in the first place.
Topside we see Doom's latest gambit, as he declares checkmate - his giant robot has made its way to the Baxter Building! Just as lightning strikes it, the robot rips a hole in the side of the building, exposing Reed's private thinking chamber to the outside world. Doom addresses his rival through his robot, declaring that in one night he's now taken everything from him! Johnny is blinded, crippled, and enslaved. Ben is shattered, lost, his lover now the Mole Man's bride in his kingdom of filth. Reed's wife is drowning in the deep fathoms of her adulterous frenzy, and all that remains… is Doom! While Reed's been locked away, Doom's been busy destroying his life, and the lives of his family forever! So, what exactly has Reed been doing…?
Reed, still strapped into his machine and surrounded by gleaming lights, turns to face Doom and says his first line of the series: 'Well, Victor… I've been thinking.'
4. Prime Mover
We open our last issue with Reed Richards, the last of the Fantastic Four who hasn't had an issue focused on them - and he's standing over the corpse of a dead woman. He introduces himself, and then admits that he's never really told anyone the truth about his violent temper. He recalls apologizing to the dead girl, to Stacy Valentine, as he crushed a tiny, malignant micro-universe between his palms. He felt both vindicated and slightly ill. It would have engulfed State University within seconds, destroyed the Earth, the solar system, the galaxy, possibly the universe. At least… Reed thinks that's what it was.
He reflects that he looked so ugly in the mirror, at that moment - he bore the look murderers have on the front page of the newspapers, grainy and black-and-white. More black than white. Everybody told him he was working too hard… but he was the son of successful people, and he was expected to always do well… or else. So let's just say Reed wanted to do something bad that day… as an experiment. And Stacy just happened to be there. He'd found gaps in his knowledge, as the science he'd studied for years didn't seem to explain all the phenomena he'd been observing. So he vaporized Stacy and locked the lab door and turned to older, stranger sciences. That was the night Reed smashed his way into the dark universe of necro-technology… where spirit meets anti-spirit in mutual annihilation.
Reed was nowhere near the blast, but he used it as an excuse to take time out from his studies. He bought a plane ticket to Nepal and from there he hiked to Chinese-occupied Tibet. There was something in him, now, you see. He knew that. Something so bad he couldn't be around other people. It had entered from a heavy gravity super-inverted universe… or so Reed told himself. He called the bad thing 'Victor', likening it to Frankenstein's Monster, but he wished he hadn't. Naming things gives them power.
The priests in the mountains showed Reed how to extract all his bad, sick thoughts and solidify them into a living form - a tulpa they called it. Even though it had eyes, it looked like… like Reed without eyes. That's the best way he could describe it. His face was covered up with a metal mask, for somehow it was awful to look at, and it had to be locked up for its own good. Reed tried to deny Victor, and leave all his evil behind after that. He tried to be a good man. But Victor was out now… and would follow him for the rest of his life, trying to crawl back into his mind. And Reed would try to keep him out…
Reed pauses then, and asks Ben whether or not that's really what Doom told him? We see Reed as he observes the meeting between Ben and Doom from the first issue of this series, the moment when the latter took off his mask. Behind that mask… was nothing. An empty void. Reed insists that the story just now… that's not how it really happened. Victor von Doom was a real person, he studied with him and Ben at State University… Someone is changing things. History, reality. Someone is trying to make them do all the things they'd never do! Reed holds his hands to his head and recalls that he started to have these feelings the days before, the sensation of being watched - manipulated.
What happens when you're trapped inside a game, he wonders. When only the devil knows the rules, and all you can do is improvise until suddenly it's all over…? How far would someone go to trap them, to hurt them? What if there was a machine, Reed muses, capable of shunting people around a game board as big as real life? Reed remembers then - he remembers now that there was only one way for him to verify his dawning suspicions… and that's to do what he always does, to lock himself in his room and build one of his own! We return to Reed's hermetically sealed room, to the device which was strapped into his brain, so reminiscent of the Prime Mover in design. In order to counteract Doom's reality manipulation, Reed manipulated it right back!
And there Reed saw him - Victor. Hiding behind the scenes of existence itself, on the battlefield of pure consciousness and will, tugging clumsily at the strings of all the Fantastic Four's lives. As we see Doom in front of his playing board, celebrating the demise of the fourth and final member of the team, the piece which represents Reed Richards begins talking back to him. It announces that the game is far from over… because Reed's been playing back against the Prime Mover for the last few hours of this little war game… and he has a secret weapon!
'What? This is when you show your hand? It's too late, Richards!' The Servitor dismisses Reed's last-minute counterplay, declaring that his machine cannot challenge Doom's own - there is only one Prime Mover! Doom recovered it from a drowned spaceship and dissected it for its secrets! Its power is his, and his alone! Behind the giant robot we see the Fantasticar with Sue and Johnny approach, while a one-armed Ben Grimm against attempts to gain entry to the building on the ground floor, shouting that he doesn't care how rich Reed is, nor how big the robot - he wants to talk to Reed! Doom spots the latter and muses that self-loathing should have killed Ben by now… but no matter. The Doombot blasts a lightning beam towards him, but Sue manages to catch Ben in a force field bubble just in time and retrieves him, much to the man's confusion…
Johnny wonders how much Doom shelled out for a robot that big, then asks who the guy they just pulled on board is. Sue tells her brother to quiet down, only belatedly realizing that the person they just picked up is actually Ben. The veteran in question complains this is the worst day of his life, then realizes he recognizes Sue, though he only knows her as Susie Storm. She looks different from what he remembers - smarter! Sue realizes Ben hasn't called her Susie in a long time, and wonders what they did to him this time… Johnny figures if this human wreck really is Ben, this is a good time to apologize for yelling earlier… Also, maybe he should turn back into the Thing already now that they need him? While Ben gets ever more confused, Johnny gets ready to fight the giant Doombot alongside Namor. Flame on!
Johnny barely gets a flame in before he falls again courtesy of the rain, just narrowly missing getting squished by a giant robot fist. Undone by the torrential rain of the ongoing storm - he's useless! While Sue tries to explain to Ben that he is younger than he should be, and that Doctor Doom is behind everything, she takes the Fantasticar down to where Johnny fell. Johnny worries that Reed's going to die if this keeps up, but Sue says of course he won't. She tells her brother to take a deep breath, get nice and dry under one of Sue's force fields, and get ready to flame on again. Sooner than later, if possible!
Sue next turns to Namor - she can still rely on him, right? The Sub-Mariner prevaricates, agreeing that he'll help with some things… but Doom has a machine which can remake all their lives. Sue has gathered that much, but argues that Reed will surely have a better machine by now. Doom thinks he can use all their base desires to tear them apart, but he doesn't know them well enough. She thanks Namor for proving that they're both more than just slaves to their unconscious instincts… and promptly kisses him. Namor pulls back, then muses to himself that perhaps it was only Doom who lit these fires in their bellies, before flying off. Ben asks what the hell happened to everybody while he was gone, and Sue admits their lives took a kind of weird turn… For now, they should get Reed. He's sure to be able to explain everything.
While Reed frantically yells out game moves to the Doombot, including something about Johnny and Namor heading to the Baxter Building, the giant Doombot proclaims that the power grid of the whole building is now feeding his Annihilator Robot's batteries… and Reed's participation in the game comes too late! Reed responds with: 'Game! Set!' Moments later Namor and Johnny burst through the eyeholes of the giant Doombot from behind, each of them emerging from one of the eye sockets, before landing right next to Reed.
As the Doombot's head crashes down into the street in pieces, Johnny takes a breath and compliments himself on that move, if he does say so himself… He then spots that Reed is still tangled all through the room with his stretching powers, and asks if he's on drugs? Reed answers that he's high on his own supply - everything's fine now, he did great, just like Reed knew he would. He explains that Doom has been trying to play a kind of four-dimensional chess game with all their lives and minds, but his strategies were very rigid and predictable… Reed realized that all he had to do was stretch his consciousness to see new possibilities and connections… and grow new brain structures to outplay him. As we zoom in, we see Reed with grotesque tentacle-like growths flowing out from his head, where he expanded his own brain in unnatural ways to keep up…
Reed makes one more edit to reality, and suddenly Ben opens up to Sue, admitting that he wasn't going to say anything… He just thought he'd lay there until he stopped being too stupid and tough to die… but there is something. He dropped that thing right there earlier tonight! It's revealed that he's talking about the damaged Doombot's gauntlet from the first issue - presumably Reed just retconned it into the scene. Sue lifts it up with a force field and figures they could probably use this somehow. Ben observes that Sue ended up marrying Reed in the end, and he guesses that among intellectuals and flying valentinos, a boy from the Lower East Side didn't rate. He just wants to know it wasn't for his money, right? Sue says that she can be shallow, but please. Ben mutters that he's just the guy he was before they got on that rocket, and asks about what happened there. When Johnny said something about him turning into the 'Thing' - is that really him? Does he get to be a superhero too? He could use a break.
Sue wonders if telling him would make a difference, and she laments his missing arm. Ben tells her that one arm was all he ever needed to wrestle the toughest guy to the table, and Ma Grimm's blue-eyed boy goes where the action is. Sue raises the gauntlet and tells Ben to hold out his hand… Ben then puts it on again, and in an instant he and Sue are teleported to Doom's castle in Latveria. Sue intends to get Ben to Doom's time machine, but it seems Ben remembers this place - he remembers the colors most of all. They soon arrive at the time machine Ben originally used, and Sue figures Doom wound him like a thread back through the machine… but she's sure they can unwind him again. Ben asks if it'll hurt - you know, being the Thing? Ah… does it make a difference…? Sue just sighs. 'Oh, Ben…'
It's revealed that all of this, this entire slapdash resolution, is Reed's feverish attempt at fixing everything - he's still editing things back to how they should be. He asks Doom if he understands now? Grasps the speed of his thoughts? Reed says that his family is an equation - alter one part and it no longer tells the truth. Doom failed at the start, because he can't change their essential nature any more than he can change natural constants. Is Doom really his opposite? Are they reverse conceptual mirrors doomed to reflect as he attempted to write into reality? He reminds Doom that Alicia is part of the equation as well - the daughter of the Puppet Master. She's Reed's secret weapon here. Reed muses that Sue, Johnny, Ben… they're all so beautiful, like a perfect emotional molecule turning in mathematical space…
Through the Doombot, even headless, Doom still curses that he does not need eyes to crush him! Reed responds by reminding Doom that Reed himself was exposed to cosmic radiation too making his body completely malleable. He can't be crushed. Doom is barely rational, now - does he really think he's everything Reed denies in himself? As Doom cries out in fury, commanding him to die, Reed observes that when Doom's creativity fails, it's always brute force with him, isn't it? He's been outplayed. Plus, the Fantastic Four have brute force too. Check. Set. Mate. With a flash of flames Ben reappears with both his arms, back in his rocky form. And guess what time it is?
Back in his Latverian castle, in the room with the Prime Mover, Doom refuses to acknowledge his defeat - he can still win the game! He still controls the board! Suddenly a candlestick careens in from off-panel and impacts Doom in the side of the head. Oh, shut up! Doom asks who dares to strike him, at which point Sue materializes and tells him to just shut up. To stop trying to hurt them… you stupid, lonely, ignorant man! Doom snarls he will destroy her, but Sue again tells Doom to be quiet and listen to someone else for once! He should also stop talking in that ridiculous way of his - what's his problem? What have the Fantastic Four ever actually done to him to deserve this stupid waste of everyone's time? Is he even listening? Sitting here with his stupid machines, and his childish jealousy when he should be curing cancer or taking his people to the stars!
Sue scoffs and wonders what the point even is of talking to Doom… Would he like her to explain this in a language he understands? She can do that. She threatens that if Doom tries anything like this ever again, she'll put a thousand force field bubbles inside that mighty brain of his and burst it from the inside! She picks up one of the models from Doom's playing board and scoffs. Toys. Honestly - he should be ashamed of himself!
Back in the Baxter Building, Ben drags the giant robot's hand away from Reed and asks him to think them out of this mess, but Reed says he already did. Also, welcome back, Ben! How does it feel to be his own man again? Ben admits he'll get back to him on that one. Moments later Ben unleashes his power on the giant Doombot and its screeches and explodes, falling down towards the street and collapsing. Ben mutters to himself that he was griping earlier, but at least Reed threw one hell of a party! Reed just tells him that he feels very unusual at the moment, and he'd prefer to be unhooked from his machine now, please…
While Namor poses on the destroyed Doombot head below while people take pictures, Reed recounts exactly what happened to everyone else.
He explains that Doom used his Prime Mover rig to take control of all their lives, and he wanted them all to think that Reed brought him into being somehow. When Reed became aware something was wrong, he had to act immediately, and there was no time to alert anyone else - that's why he locked himself away. Hopefully, everyone can forgive him for that… and he hopes they'll all let him take them on an exploratory mission to the Quintasphere, an entirely new type of reality made of superconducting living material. He noticed it out of the corner of his elasti-consciousness while he was interfering with the Prime Mover circuits, you see. He's not sure if that's what they actually call it, of course, it probably has a name for itself…
Ben just tells Reed to inxay on the million dollar concepts… but he's packing his pith helmet right after he goes to check up on Alicia! Johnny loves the idea of all these new higher realities, as the old negative dimensions just don't cut it anymore. Anyway, he wonders, where was Ben exactly when he was taking out the Mole Man's monsters? Sue, meanwhile, helps Reed out of the machine he built and tells him off for ruining yet another uniform. Reed responds that there's still things to talk about, but Sue just holds him tight and says it's all taken care of. It's all done. Reed embraces her in return, and that's where we leave them...
Alicia returns to her apartment and turns on to the radio, which reports that the Latverian Embassy denies Doctor Doom's involvement in the unprovoked assault on New York City. You know, the attack of the giant Doombot. Very convincing! Meanwhile, back in Latveria, Doom repeats to himself: 'No. No. No.' In the last shot we see him throw up his arms in rage, several detached and ruined wires dangling from his head as the curtains close on him and the destroyed Prime Mover…
Rating & Comments
Okay, I'll admit it, I was wrong about Doom employing mind control - in some ways it's the opposite of what happened here. Instead, we get a poorly explained variety of reality-manipulation. Despite Reed rehashing the same few points several times in the final issue, to the point that it got annoying, the exact specifics of what's going on here are vague. It's like Doom just had a retcon button which allows him to change the plot of the comic he's in, or something like that? My interpretation of Doom's overall plan is that he altered the personal history of the Fantastic Four and himself in order to lead the heroes to much worse outcomes than the reality they previously all shared. For example, he changed his own backstory in order to convince Ben to trust him, by making himself into a twisted mirror image of Reed and then playing on Ben's emotions. He changed the history between Reed and Sue in order to convince the latter to run off with Namor, and he made Johnny much weaker to water so he couldn't stand up to someone in the rain (or even to a puddle.) All that, and he also sent a giant robot to beat up Reed, which seems a bit less of a manipulative move and more blatantly hamfisted.
What's more important than Doom's rather roughshod approach to historical revisionism, however, are Reed's counterplays. Reed figured out what was going on before anyone else did, and then immediately ran off to build his own version of the reality-altering machine. I think you can actually figure out what he changed in the previous issues, by watching for the moments when his face flashes on the screen for a panel. Note that Doom, until quite close to the end of the story, is entirely convinced that his Prime Mover plan has worked out perfectly. He is so confident in his own peerless genius that he never double-checks - he thinks Johnny has been enslaved, that Sue signed up with Namor, and that Ben has lost all hope and killed himself. All of those perceptions are utterly wrong due to Reed's interference. Reed is behind the 'get your act together' speech that the frisky doctor and nurse belt out for no apparent reason, and he arranged for Alicia to lend Sue an ear which allowed her to talk her way through her moment of weakness, and Alicia's presence also distracted the Mole Man long enough for Namor and Sue to come to Johnny's rescue. No wonder Reed called Alicia his secret weapon!
Reed's involvement gets more direct in the final issue, since everything is brought into the open there. He writes a custom, rather implausible resolution to Ben's storyline - he retcons Doom's teleporting gauntlet so it randomly appears nearby, after which Ben and Sue somehow know exactly where to go to revert everything to normal. It's very clearly a bad Deus Ex Machina moment, and I think it's intended to be. For all his superior intellect, Reed basically wrote a shitty fanfic in a hot minute, and it promptly became reality. I like to believe that he included his wife bludgeoning his nemesis with a candlestick just for the fun of it. Hah! I assume he also retconned Johnny's weakness away, since he seems suddenly capable of smashing his way through the giant Doombot after spending several issues as a dishrag…
Going back to more specifics about these issues, the third one was definitely my least favorite of the bunch due to the jittery, stop-and-start structure of it. Unlike the previous two issues, which took their time, you could really tell that the writing had to skip ahead to fit everything within the allotted page space, and some stuff got omitted. For example, Namor and Sue are suddenly randomly on top of a roof together, and Alicia gets spirited away to the underworld off-screen. We can assume this is a Doom retcon, because Namor insinuates that Sue's powers don't work properly because of outside reasons, and Johnny's powers are definitely impacted by something like that too. Similarly, Johnny gets beaten by the Mole Man entirely off-panel. I'm not sure the sequencing for the giant Doombot makes total sense either, since it surfaces before the entire Namor and Johnny fight happens, but it doesn't become relevant again until they're all already underground…? Guess they failed their perception check.
The subterranean Mole Man sequence is just fucked up, actually - he's a pretty pathetic villain to begin with whenever he's actually supposed to do things personally, instead of just sending monsters to do his dirty work. Here, though, he's even more into forced relationships and sexual assault than Namor, which is rather disturbing since the scenes between Namor and Sue are uncomfortable enough. Mole Man is actively shoving himself on top of Alicia here, telling her she's ugly and nobody else would want her anyway, and that she'll learn to love him body and soul. Mega-yikes! It's later suggested that Doom promised the Mole Man that he could have Johnny as his slave and Alicia as his queen, while he promised Namor to have Sue… if they're both in their right mind through all of this, both of these guys are complete monsters, aren't they? It's unclear to me whether both of them just got manipulated into playing along under false pretenses...
Incidentally, that scene which involves a doctor and a nurse making out over a dead body while gaslighting the guy in the next bed over - that is certainly a choice. I interpret this entire scene as Reed messing with things, because an image of both Reed and Doom appears during it, and the fake advice Ben gets from the doctor does end up spurring out of his sulk. It's still pretty screwed up, though. Another weird and very random choice is the offhanded way in which a giant dirt whale is introduced into the story during the Mole Man section, only for it to become entirely irrelevant like three panels later when Namor casually no-sells it. What was the point? I'm also still not on board with how close Namor keeps getting to kissing Sue - they've had their conversation about this, can we just move on? Hell, they even actually kiss later! I think his line there suggests, though, that Namor is willfully stepping back and allows the entire thing be shelved as a 'Doom did it' episode. Probably wise.
The final issue of the series does a lot of the heavy lifting in trying to redeem the lackluster third part. It opens up with legitimately one of the coolest alternate takes on the Reed and Doom dynamic - an entire alternate history in which Reed shares much of Doom's origin story, and he was the one who did the experiment which blew up and killed a student, before going to Tibet to deal with the results. This Reed claims he made contact with some kind of other universe and something slipped through, but the insinuation is that he might just be covering for his own despicable nature and blaming random chance for his misdeeds. He names this new dark part of himself Victor, likening it to the Monster of Frankenstein, and has it excised and turned into a tulpa by the Tibetan monks, before locking it up for its own good…
All of this is obviously a falsehood, a fabrication, but it makes sense why this sort of story is what might convince Ben during the first issue of this series to go along with Doom's plans. Doom here shares Reed's face! Reed, in his high-on-life state, seems actively revolted by the implication that Doom sees the two of them as reverse conceptual mirrors - that Doom represents everything Reed denies in himself. Reed rejects that idea utterly. Indeed, he dismisses Doom's strategies here as rigid and predictable, unable to realize that Reed's family is a part of him, in a sense, and he'd immediately notice if something messed with that. The moment Doom starts losing, all creativity goes out the window and it's all brute force and irrationality! For all his super-genius, Doom is unable to adapt to his enemy's new tactics, and that's what gets him defeated here. (I imagine he would be rather quicker on the ball in other series, though.)
I feel like the entire arcs for both Ben and Johnny are a bit wasted in this series - Ben gets back to the action eventually, but his entire arc of wasting away in a hospital doesn't really end up contributing much of anything beyond keeping him out of the way. That's unfortunate, since the false 'tulpa' thing is a bit of a revelation in this issue, but it didn't really ever become important to the plot. Johnny is similarly ineffectual, rendered basically harmless for the majority of this series, and he ends up just sort of tagging along. Namor is more useful than him, and that guy's mostly just there to be a tease for Sue! Honestly, even the giant Doombot felt kind of pointless, since it ends up being a prop to allow Doom and Reed to talk face-to-face. Feels like having Doom actually present could have served the same job, but I guess he needed to be with the Prime Mover machine to make the general conceit work.
Doom gets a dressing down from Sue, in the end - not only does she destroy his precious Prime Mover, but she tears into him over his petty crusade too, ranting about this enormous amount of effort he went through on the back of childish jealousy, instead of doing literally anything useful with his grand intellect. I do appreciate that she realizes most of these critiques will get utterly ignored by Doom, so she just reframes her position with a violent threat if he ever tries this shit again, then mocks his toys. C'mon now Sue, you don't mock a man's collectables, that's just rude… It's unfortunate that Doom doesn't really get a word in here, since I think it'd be quite illustrative to get his actual immediate reaction to Sue's rage… but at least we see his rage-quit in the final panels.
In summation, what did I think of the series? While the final issue does help things by at least giving an explanation of what's happening, this series still feels like it's spinning its wheels for a long, long time without going anywhere. Most of the things that are brought up in the first few issues are wiped away in the last one because everyone starts reality-warping, and Reed just sort of overwrites all of Doom's changes and returns things to normal. As far as I can tell Doom was basically already screwed in the first issue, because he had absolutely no foresight and thought Reed had just coincidentally locked himself away in his private sanctum. Morrison isn't very clear on what exactly Doom was changing, either, so it feels a bit dreamlike in places and there's some real head-scratching moments in there. That said, the art was neat, the concept was unique, and that Victor-tulpa idea was just cool. Three stars for the whole affair, but the final issue gets a bump, just like Doom's noggin from that candlestick!
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
"All men, even the noblest, are driven by the same base impulses. The sweet smile of the peace activist hides his ranging need to make war on the makers of war. Behind every 'selfless' act, behind every example of so-called heroism, there lies the craving for validation and status in the eyes of others. Is it only the lessons of our experience which make monsters of us, or saints?"
Doom: "All that remains... is Doom. While you've been locked away, I've been busy destroying your life and the lives of your family forever, Richards. Tell me... what have you been doing?"
Reed: "Well, Victor... I've been thinking."
Doom: "Nnnaaauu... I can still win the game... still command board..."
Sue: "Oh, shut UP!"
"No. No. No."
Doom-Tech of the Week
I mean, the Prime Mover is the obvious one to mention but it wasn't created for this issue - and even then, it's suggested to be an alien construct. Its reality-warping potential seems to be new for this incarnation, however. There's also the giant Servitor, a Doombot at Godzilla-scale, though it doesn't really do anything much except be a giant mouthpiece for Doom and rip a few holes in things. Where's the giant doom-lasers?
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213: Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Comics Magazine #7-8 - Touched by the Hand of Havoc! / To Aid the Avengers!
- Location
- Netherlands
Fantastic Four - World's Greatest Comics #7-8 (August-September 2001)
Covers
Today's covers are quite distinct, once again - the first shows how the Fantastic Four survived the ending of the last issue, thus removing any dramatic tension before you even opened up the book. They remembered Black Panther was there, at least! The second cover is a nice shot of Doctor Doom's gauntlet clutching the Cosmic Cube, with its facets depicting the Fantastic Four, the Avengers, and Uatu the Watcher - I'm guessing his banishment didn't stick for very long. At first I thought Doom was missing a finger, but his pinky is hiding partially behind the Cube on the left, it's just that there's a large gap between two of his fingers at the front. Regardless, there's plenty of cool Kirby Krackling going on here! Beware the Power Cosmic!
Story Overview
WGCM #7 - Touched by the Hand of Havoc!
We open this issue not in space with the Fantastic Four, but instead with the teleporting dog Lockjaw - the pooch brought her owner Crystal along to the Fantastic Four's headquarters after her unexpected visit to her Inhuman relatives. She's hoping to find Johnny and the rest of his team there, but it doesn't seem like they're home. In fact, there's something wrong! She can feel it! Before investigating, though, Crystal fills a bowl with water for her enormous pet so he doesn't wander off while she's looking around. She muses that the building feels empty, deserted, but she has a nagging sensation that they're not alone… She decides to go off on her own to put her fears to rest, and tells Lockjaw she'll be right back.
Crystal descends the stairs and goes over to Johnny's room, hoping to find a note left for her there, but she doesn't find anything to explain where the team has gone. She prays he's safe - he has so many deadly enemies, so many fearsome foes! If anything happened to him, Crystal's not sure what she'd do… Suddenly Crystal hears something from the direction of Reed's laboratory, and sets off to investigate. It's probably just a noise emanating from one of the man's incredible inventions, but she'll have to double-check just to be safe. Wait, there's someone in there, she sees a figure standing in the shadows… It's Doctor Doom!
Doom doesn't even bother turning around when Crystal enters the room, too busy musing that all these creations of Reed's are fascinating - he has accomplished much for one of his limited intellect! He holds up a device and says that this portable accelerator is almost the equal of one Doom designed himself! (Didn't Doom already nick everything in Reed's lab like a week ago?) Crystal demands that the villain turn around and face her, and demands to know what he's done with the Fantastic Four. Doom dryly remarks that it should be obvious - they've suffered the fate that awaits all who defy Doom! Crystal rejects the idea that they're dead, and quickly launches an attack at Doom's back, but the villain no-sells it entirely without even moving, and tells her that her unwitting convictions are as beneath his notice as her pitiful elemental shockwaves! She should be thankful he has no quarrel with her!
Doom finally turns around to face her, and swiftly grabs Crystal by the throat before she can even react. He snarls that he now wields the Cosmic Cube, an almighty apparatus which alters reality to suit his whim! With a thought he could erase her from existence just as easily as he disposed of her former comrades when they dared to challenge him on the Moon! But he shall refrain from such a pedestrian presentation of the unlimited power he now possesses… Instead, she may have the unparalleled privilege of groveling at his feet alongside the rest of humanity! As an exultant Doom's mask starts exuding billowing cosmic power, Crystal is thrown back. She refuses to believe that the Fantastic Four are truly gone - they must have found a way to survive!
Alas, even Crystal's blind faith might be given pause if she could suddenly peer across the vast reaches of space and look in on the desperate quartet and their gallant ally, the Black Panther! We see all five of them suspended in space among the wreckage of their former spacecraft, marooned in the void. Reed is checking up on Ben, and admits that Doom must have hit him even harder than he thought because Ben's still unconscious and he can't seem to revive him! Johnny just tells Reed to let him sleep, since they could do without his complaining. Sue tells Johnny off for not being serious in a moment like this - she doesn't know how long she can maintain the force field that's keeping them all safe, as the strain is growing unbearable!
Reed instructs Sue that she needs to keep concentrating, assuring her she's a lot stronger than she could possibly imagine! Black Panther observes that while Sue's quick thinking managed to save them when Doom blew up the ship, they're not out of the woods yet. Reed agrees, especially since their oxygen supply will soon be exhausted. He has a plan to get out of here, but it will require Sue to open her force field for a brief moment. Sue points out that this would mean losing their remaining air to the void, but Reed assures her it's their only hope. He reminds the others that Nick Fury is in the SHIELD Helicarrier expecting to hear from them, and they need some way to contact the man. Based on previous adventures in the ocean and space Reed devised a special flare gun that can be activated in any environment, so if he could shoot that flare into open space, there's a chance Fury could spot it and respond in time to save them!
Johnny doesn't buy this plan at all - is Reed for real? That's like gambling all their lives on a single toss of the dice! Sue asks him if he's got any other ideas? Unfortunately, the alternative is suffocating to death! Johnny mutters that this doesn't appeal to him either, and they end up agreeing to try Reed's plan for lack of other options. Black Panther points out that the Silver Surfer is also on the Helicarrier, and he could easily travel through space and reach them in time! (You know, if he could leave Earth…?) Johnny worries that nobody might see the flare at all, but Reed tells him to keep a positive attitude. Sue asks how this is even supposed to work, and Reed decides to demonstrate, pushing the flare gun into the side of Sue's force field and instructing her to open a tiny rift in front of him no wider than the width of the barrel. She must focus all her attention on that spot and concentrate! The timing must be perfect!
Reed fires, and the flare gun bursts out, careening through space and bouncing off the debris of the spacecraft to shape the number '4' blazing in the sky, though it seems like it would be backwards from the perspective of people on Earth. Oops! Sue asks if it worked, clearly exhausted, wondering if the hole in the force field was too large - or did she close it too soon? Reed compliments her for doing fine, just as he knew she would! They've done all they can now, they must now wait… and hope!
We turn our attention back to planet Earth, to a familiar castle in the Adirondack mountains… 'Rejoice, my humble servants, your triumphant master has returned!' Doom declares as he teleports back to his base of operations in a pose reminiscent of Dracula. He trusts that his minions have already safely stored the prize he recently acquired from the Moon? A servant confirms that they did as he commanded. Doom figures that should be obvious - his orders are to be obeyed instantly and without the slightest hesitation! To dither is to die! The two terrified lackeys ask how they may serve him further, and Doom instructs them to fetch the Atlantean trumpet-horn that once belonged to his erstwhile subordinate Namor. Now that the hated Reed Richards and his compatriots are no more, it is time to bring his Master Plan to glorious fruition!
Moments later one of the servants returns with the almighty tooting horn and offers it to Doom, but the monarch wonders why the man would do so? Doom would not sully his lips on such a base artifact! It could be booby-trapped, or coated in poison, and his life is much too precious for such a risk! His servants, however, can easily be replaced. The minion falters at that, which Doom immediately notices, and he wonders if the man has forgotten that each breath he and his loved ones take - each moment that his family lives - is only because Doom allows it? The servant apologizes profusely, and his sovereign says he will deign to grant him forgiveness… provided he survives blowing the trumpet-horn. Now get to it, without further delay! The servant obediently toots the horn, and Doom cackles maniacally as he declares that it is done - and this world shall soon be his! Yeah, okay, full cartoon villainy confirmed!
Many miles away, savage waves mercilessly pummel a sleeping New England fishing village as the largest living creature in all the world shakes off the sleep of ages! Awakened by the fabled Atlantean trumpet-horn, the enormous Giganto rises from the depths and mindlessly stumbles forward, leaving only splintered ships and crushed ruins in its massive wake! The would-be-Monstro here is essentially an even bigger and bipedal version of a sperm whale, implied to be part of some species of ancient leviathans.
Over a thousand leagues distant, the Lord of Atlantis - mighty Prince Namor - senses the earth-shaking upheaval. He can hear the Atlantean trumpet-horn echoing across the ocean's floor, and already the sea churns with torment as the deadliest denizens of the deep arise to answer its call! As enormous deep-sea creatures pass Namor by, he wonders who dares summon this monstrous army? What is his mad purpose? And how shall the pitiful surface dwellers withstand this ruthless onslaught?
Meanwhile, back in space, Ben finally wakes from unconsciousness and mumbles something about pumpkin pancakes - he was clearly dreaming. Johnny immediately scoffs that Ben is living and breathing again, and of course he's immediately thinking with his stomach even at a time like this. Ben complains that it's bad enough waking up to Johnny's mug, but he's betting there's no pancakes either! Reed is glad to see Ben is okay, at least, as he was worried for a while there! Ben figures he was just catching up on his beauty sleep. What did he miss? Did the team polish off Doom while he was out? Reed explains that the villain managed to escape, and Ben is relieved, because that means he'll get another shot at him! As for the bad news, it looks like he's got a long wait for those pancakes! But he's been living with disappointment ever since he became the Thing… Johnny wonders if Ben can stop griping already, as he doesn't want his last moments to be bickering!
The Black Panther calls out that the situation is about to change - look! A spacecraft is headed their way! A truly bizarre vessel approaches, and given that it's pink and purple, Sue makes the entirely reasonable guess that it's something built by Doctor Doom. Has he returned to finish them off? Reed says anything's possible, but there's something strangely familiar about that ship… Johnny crows that it's familiar because that particular hotrod belongs to the Inhumans! He'd recognize their distinctive styling anywhere! He just hopes Crystal is onboard so he can thank her in person! Ben says he should enjoy this moment, since there will come a time when a visit from his future in-laws won't be such a happy occasion…
One tractor beam later the team is drawn into the monumental ship, and the team gets to catch up with the Inhuman royal family. Gorgon explains that Crystal informed them of the team's dire predicament and Doctor Doom's incredible powers. What does it all mean? Ben promises to fill him in on the details later, after he answers a question: any chance the Inhumans have their own recipe for pumpkin pancakes?! Karnak wonders what those are, but an annoyed Sue just tells him to ignore Ben. Johnny quickly rushes over to Crystal and admits she's a sight for sore eyes, and asks how she found them. Crystal explains that after Doom bragged about defeating them on the Moon, she returned to Attilan with Lockjaw and convinced Black Bolt to mount a rescue expedition. They'd begun to fear the worst until they spotted the flare! Reed tells everyone that he'd hate to cut these festivities short, but they need an update on Doom's current activities, so he asks Triton to take them to the SHIELD Helicarrier. Triton responds that Black Bolt had already signaled him to do so, so they're only a few minutes out.
Speaking of the Helicarrier, we revisit it now to discover that Fury is still listening for a signal from the Fantastic Four, seemingly unaware of the space flare, and he says they can only assume Doctor Doom took them off the board. He concludes Doom is probably responsible for this army of sea creatures that's heading for the eastern coastline of the United States, too! The Silver Surfer wonders why Fury would suspect Doom there, when the oceans are the domain of Namor? Fury argues that this just isn't the Sub-Mariner's style - he usually takes a more active role when he threatens the human race, charging ahead of his troops instead of hiding. He tells one of his agents, Quartermain, to get the Avengers on the horn!
The Silver Surfer asks Fury why he is calling up Earth's mightiest heroes when he, the Silver Surfer, is standing right there? Fury figures he'll need him in reserve, but someone needs to head off the big beasties in the meantime. The Surfer is not pleased by this, stating that he's stood idly for long enough while a madman wreaks havoc on his adopted world! Dum-Dum Dugan suddenly comes rushing into the room and declares that he hates to interrupt mid-pontification, but he's got a newsflash! Nick Fury wonders what he's waiting for, then, an engraved invitation? Out with it! Dugan declares that the Fantastic Four are still alive, and they're headed this way!
Back in his upstate castle, Doom announces that while the hapless defenders of the Earth are distracted by his legions of sea monsters, he will begin the second stage of his unstoppable ascent to the Power Ultimate! One of his servants whispers to a colleague behind his back, murmuring that their master is growing stronger by the moment, and history shall surely remember him as one of the greatest conquerors of all time! Doom overhears this, and wonders what fool would dare mock his beneficent sovereign? Alexander, Caesar, Attila… their trivial accomplishments are nothing when contrasted with Doom's own awesome triumphs! Doom demands to know why his servant dared to compare him to the petty tyrants of the past?!
The man nervously points out that he merely sought to compliment his sire. In response, Doom unleashes a blast of force from his gauntlet and utterly vaporizes the man on the spot, announcing that he needs no compliments from one such as him! All he requires is total and blind obedience! The second servant stares in horror at the pile of ash that used to be his colleague, but Doom just tells him to stop cowering already and clean that mess up. He no longer wishes to be reminded of this unpleasantness. The man nervously agrees that he lives to obey, and Doom smugly muses that this is a sentiment that all humankind will soon share!
SKRAKOOM! The wall behind Doom explodes, and a furious Namor smashes his way inside while proclaiming that this will not happen while the Savage Sub-Mariner lives! Vengeance shall be his, and Doom will pay for stealing the sacred trumpet-horn of Atlantis, and for embroiling the creatures of the ocean in his mad scheme for power! Doom turns and announces that he had long anticipated Namor's visit! He raises the Cosmic Cube and it radiates with intense power, effortlessly blasting Namor back. Doom then instructs the Prince of Atlantis to take a seat while his servants prepare a suitable repast… for they have much to discuss!
Doom explains that though he wields the all-powerful Cosmic Cube, Namor will also play a key role in his long-range plans! The Sub-Mariner snaps back that the insatiable desire for power must have driven Doom mad, for he will never ally with Doom again! Doom uses the Cube to batter Namor around the room with little effort, telling the Atlantean he has little choice in the matter. Behold how effortlessly he increases Namor's mass a thousandfold, making it virtually impossible to move and breathe! Namor promptly smashes into the floor, leaving a deep indent in the stone. Doom announces that Namor will heed his commands, or he will raise his precious Atlantis from the sea and condemn his water-breathing people to a most agonizing death!
Back on the Helicarrier, Fury cries that Doom has gone completely off his rocker! Not only is he harrying the eastern shoreline of the US with a bunch of darlings from the deep, but some of them can even walk on land! Reed notes that according to the intelligence SHIELD has gathered, they all seem to be converging on a single point in upstate New York… but why? Fury figures Doom might be planning his own Woodstock, but he doubts it. Reed says none of this makes sense, concluding that Doom must be using these creatures to divert attention from something, but why go to such effort? The Cosmic Cube can already give him anything he desires! Crystal pipes up to note that Doom used the Cube to steal another powerful object from the Watcher's base on the Moon, and that the Inhumans also lost an ancient artifact to him, though they only figured out Doom could be the culprit when they heard about all the other things that went missing.
Reed reiterates that it's not like Doctor Doom to act like a common thief - he must be after something, but what?! The Silver Surfer disagrees with Reed's character assessment, reminding him that Doom once stripped the Surfer of his cosmic power to take it for himself! Ben tells the Surfer to stop whining about that already - give it up, smiley - ya snooze, ya lose! Dum Dum Dugan butts in to say that all this yakking back and forth isn't going to stop those sea monsters from lowering property values in New York, so how about all the costumed types quit bickering like a pack of old ladies and make like heroes? Reed agrees with the sentiment, suggesting that since the Silver Surfer is the strongest among them, he should attend to those sea creatures immediately. Medusa asks what the rest of them should be doing, then. Reed notes that Doom currently believes the Fantastic Four are dead, so they may be able to use that to their advantage…
A cold and authoritative voice suddenly fills the room from a nearby computer screen - it's Iron Man, responding to Fury's earlier distress call. The Avengers have assembled and are presently doing everything in their power to drive the sea monsters back into the ocean's depths! Reed is glad for some good news for a change, and decides this means the rest of them can concentrate on stopping Doom himself! Fury offers all assistance SHIELD can provide, and while Reed appreciates the offer, the equipment he needs is back at the Baxter Building! Crystal is not sure it's wise to return to headquarters since that's where he ran into Doom earlier, and she sensed that he intended to return. Reed figures that's a chance they'll have to take. Johnny asks if this part of the plan includes him and Crystal, too, but Reed says they should both head back to Attilan with the rest of the Inhumans for another part of their strategy…
The Silver Surfer observes that while he has little thirst for battle and even less desire to harm the dwellers from the great deep, he shall join the Avengers and attempt to restore tranquility to the world below the waves! Karnak admits that he finds this goal laudable, but fears for its success… Ben, meanwhile, asks if Fury has a spare ride they can borrow? He's pointed to some shuttles in the back - he can pick whichever he wants, as long as he remembers to refill the gas before he returns it. Now good luck - the whole world's counting on them! Dum Dum Dugan watches the planes leave and wonders if even every costumed yahoo in the country put together can do anything against a madman with a Cosmic Cube? Fury admits he's not sure - but he'll never be caught betting against the Fantastic Four!
While the Inhumans and the Silver Surfer set off on their own respective missions, the Fantastic Four make their way back to the Baxter Building and land on the roof. Reed cautions the others to stay together while he makes certain Doom hasn't dropped off a bunch more booby-traps during his latest infiltration of their hideout, but Ben isn't interested in waiting around since he has an errand of his own to run. He stops suddenly, though, yelling: 'Awww, NUTS!' There's another roadblock to keep him from his pancakes - they've got company! Face front, team! Sure enough, a new face has shown himself: it's a weirdly square-ish Uatu, the super-buff Watcher, whose exile has lasted rather shorter than expected!
Next: Can even the Avengers save New York from DOOM?
WGCM #8 - To Aid the Avengers!
We pick up right where we left off, with the Fantastic Four (minus Johnny) and the Watcher, but they've all already shifted their attention to something off-panel. Reed declares that he's got to check everything, to see if there's the smallest clue he might have overlooked! If the Watcher is here to observe, this can only be a fateful moment, a crucial turning point for all humanity! Sue fears this might be the end of the world, but Ben says that Reed's just flapping his gums like usual. His bet is that chrome-dome is here to see some plain and fancy clobbering! After all, Doctor Doom whooped his ass on the Moon, so who wouldn't want some payback? Black Panther (who is still there too for some reason) says that he fears the Watcher is beyond such things. The Watcher says nothing, standing silently while he takes on the scene of carnage and destruction that unfolds on the Baxter Building's largest monitor...
That monitor, covering an entire wall of the building, is what they're all staring at - it depicts the enormous bipedal whale-monster Giganto pulling a Godzilla on the city! Ben says that he's glad there was enough warning to evacuate the place, but that monster still just stepped on his favorite deli! He then points out that Giganto is supposed to be dead. Reed muses that this might merely be the offspring of the monster they clashed with so long ago (in Fantastic Four v1 #4) - but that's not what worries him most. He fears that Doctor Doom unleashed this and the other monsters in the city merely as a diversion, to draw their attention away from his true plan, whatever it might be! Sue asks if he thinks they should ignore the invasion so Doom continues to think they're dead, and Black Panther notes that it would be the wisest course of action - it would allow them to pursue the Latverian megalomaniac unsuspected. Ben isn't sure he could stay back if the walking seafood special goes anywhere near his precious Yancy Street. He calls out the arrival of the Avengers alongside the Silver Surfer - they said they'd take care of business, and they're good on their word! Yancy Street is safe!
Reed is not so sure, since the creature Giganto is powerful beyond imagining, and it's only of many! Even the Avengers might be outmatched. Ben sarcastically recalls that all they have is people like Captain America and Thor - they have potential, but they're not in the Fantastic Four's league! Sue tells Ben that's not what Reed was saying. Black Panther interrupts the banter to remind everyone that Doctor Doom does think them dead, and since he wields the Cosmic Cube they need ever advantage against him they can muster… but still, there are times when a man must act not by what's in his head, but what's in his heart! Ben tells T'Challa that sometimes he's as much of a windbag as Reed, but he knows what the man means. Yeah, they're gonna save the city! He'll go fire up the Fantasticar! Everyone else follows behind him, and mere moments later the Fantasticar sets off…
We switch over to Johnny, who went along with Crystal and the Inhumans to see if they had anything they could use against Doctor Doom. Medusa tells him that Black Bolt, their sovereign, has what he seeks. He's handed a little box that goes 'ping!' and wonders what that's supposed to be. Medusa explains it's an Agon-Sequencer, and if Doom truly got his hands on the Sacred Helix of Randac, the object stolen from their city, then only this machine will negate its effects! Johnny agrees that this sounds useful, and Medusa reminds him that just like the Helix itself, this sequencer is one of their most sacred relics, so if either of them aren't restored to them, it could doom the Inhuman race forever!
Triton suddenly rushes into the room and yells at Johnny that there's an urgent radio call for him - from New York City! It's from Reed Richards, and it says he's needed back there immediately! Johnny panics a little, noting that Reed wouldn't be sending smoke signals if it wasn't important, so he tells Crystal that they have to go. He promises to Medusa that he'll take good care of her dingus, count on it! Johnny is ready to rush to the launch hangar and grab the SHIELD ship they came in, but Crystal has a better idea. Lockjaw will take them! He can get them there in nothing flat! Crystal hugs her giant pooch and asks him for help, and with a snort and a 'Wafooom!' they vanish…
Meanwhile, in New York, the Avengers are in a full-on battle against various sea monsters - Iron Man, Goliath, Quicksilver, and Scarlet Witch are all striking out while Captain America loudly yells their warcry: 'Avengers Assemble!' Cap tells everyone their marching orders, sending the heavy hitters to do what they do best, while the others work to drive the creatures out of the city and back towards the sea. Scarlet Witch says they'll try, but there's so very many of them!
In response, Ben suddenly comes careening from the sky and announces that maybe what she needs is a helping hand from the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Thing! The Fantasticar nearly capsizes after he jumps out of it from high up, but Reed manages to stabilize it at the last moment, though he yells at Ben over it. Sue reminds Reed that they all know the automatic gyros in this car will stabilize them, so he's just snapping at Ben because he's so concerned… Now look, over there! 'Great Scott!' Reed exclaims, he can scarcely believe it! Arriving at the head of a massive flood of sea-monsters, including Giganto himself, is their master - Namor the Sub-Mariner himself, commanding the creatures personally while blowing the sacred tooting horn! Ben cries that this is nuts - he thought Reed said it was Doom behind all this, not old fish-face! Are they working together again, or… no, there's got to be something fishy going on here! No pun intended.
Cap yells at the Avengers to go, while Reed lands the Fantasticar nearby and tells his compatriots that if Namor is involved, the Avengers will need their help! Iron Man flies towards Namor and cries out that he thought the Sub-Mariner had learned his lesson about attacking the surface world, but if he needs a refresher course, Iron Man is just the Avenger to give it to him! He starts firing repulsor blasts, but Namor just takes a hand off his horn and smashes the hero in the face with an almighty blow, knocking him backwards - he's been fighting too long already, and his armor is drained… while Namor is at the height of his sea-spawned strength!
So powerful is Namor's blow that Iron Man flies across the city and crashes into the side of a building. As the Sub-Mariner turns away, though, he's suddenly struck by Captain America's mighty shield! Who dares?! It is Cap who dares, undersea invader, because when you battle one Avenger, you battle them all! Namor declares that he will do that, then - battle them all! And he will not cease, not until all of the so-called Avengers lie unconscious at his feet! Let the cry ring out - Imperius Rex! With another titanic blow Cap is forced back and downwards into the pavement, saved from being obliterated only by his unbreakable shield.
Namor is stronger and faster than Cap, but the hero says he'll find a way to outmaneuver him! That's when Johnny intervenes, flaming on and launching a Nova Blast into the back of Namor. In response, the Sub-Mariner snarls that the android will pay for that, much to Johnny's confusion. Android!? Namor suddenly smacks face-first into an invisible barrier, preventing him from reaching Johnny - it's Sue, of course, since she couldn't very well let her brother get squished! Reed gets involved too, while Ben checks up on Cap, since he took a real beating there. Captain America says he doesn't matter here - Namor is too strong, but he's got to be stopped! The Thing is their only chance! Ben is surprised by this statement, but Cap doubles down by offering Ben his shield - it's indestructible, irresistible. With Namor weakened by the Torch's flame he could be made to fall with a single blow, but it must be the right blow! Ben promises he won't let Cap down and accepts the shield.
Reed has been keeping Namor busy and tosses him towards Ben with all his elastic strength. It's a high, hard one right across the plate, and the batter swings. It's clobberin' time! With one all-powerful blow, enhanced by using Captain America's mighty shield as knuckle-dusters, Ben lays out the Sub-Mariner!
When the dust clears he's out like a light, and Ben says he ought to get himself one of these frisbees, since they're the best! Ben hands it back to its original owner, telling him his shield won the day. A still seriously wounded Cap tells Ben that it may have helped, but any weapon is only as good as the man who wields it… Reed arrives and tells Ben that he's got to examine Namor, since there's something strange about the way he was acting. He thought Johnny was the original android Human Torch from way back in the forties, and he didn't recognize Sue's force field! Ben just tells him to get to it, since he's got more monsters to fight. Ben leaves, while Reed kneels next to the unconscious fish-man…
Goliath is knocked over by one of the monsters elsewhere on the battlefield, and Quicksilver gets Scarlet Witch out of the danger zone just in time as he crashes down. As the old adage tells us, the bigger they are… the harder they fall! Scarlet Witch worries for Clint… (Yeah, it turns out that Hawkeye spent some time using Pym's size-changing technology to act under a different hero identity, who knew?) Johnny flies in and tells her to worry about Goliath later, as right now they have to buy Reed some time to cook up a plan by engaging in some all-out monster bashing! Crystal agrees and says maybe her power can hold them back! Though the exquisite elemental lashes out with lancing beams of pure heat, it only serves to enrage Giganto further… It's no good! Ben figures he already practiced his batting skills against Namor, so time to try out his pitching… he picks up a huge chunk of building and tosses it towards Giganto with all his strength, but it impacts against the monster's mouth without doing much damage. They're getting nowhere!
Johnny says that things are even worse, since it seems the evacuation notice didn't reach everyone… there's people down there, getting crushed by falling rubble! Johnny quickly flies in and destroys the remains of the projectile that Ben launched, preventing more people from getting hurt. Thank heavens! Meanwhile, from the smoking ruins of a nearby building, Iron Man reemerges and cries out for the Sub-Mariner's head. Where is he? He's got a few words for the man, and he'll let his fists do the talking! Namor is still unconscious, of course, and Sue points out that with him out for the count, nobody's controlling the monsters and they're just going wild, striking out at everything around. Reed agrees with her, but shows her that a small device was hidden in Namor's ear, and that must've been what was controlling him - it was affecting his memory! Doctor Doom was behind this attack after all! Reed will have to analyze this, see what he can learn… but first, Sue's given him an idea…
As the Avengers race into battle once more, a stretchy limb suddenly reaches up and yanks Iron Man out of the sky - Reed needs his assistance! The rest of the team rush in against Giganto anyway, and they wonder if the creature ever gives up? Perhaps a hex-blast will confuse him, and make him return to the sea? But then… a familiar hammer flies into frame and smacks into Giganto just below his eye. Thor has arrived! As Mjolnir returns to his hand, Thor announces that the sea-beings have been driven forth from the Verrazano Narrows, and he does return to aid them now! Ben is glad to see him, and yells that they should get to it already! The Avengers and the Fantastic Four return to their task with renewed energy, and though the job is immense, they tackle it unflinchingly. What we actually see is Johnny and Ben teaming up against a huge lizard-like monster by torching the underside of his foot, hopefully driving it back towards the cooler waters…
As Thor gets himself entangled with a tentacled monster, however, a familiar device flies into frame - it's another Psyche-Scalpel, the same type of drone used against the Hulk a while back in the series, and now it's here to do the same thing to Thor… Sure enough, while Thor is distracted with fighting it fires a beam at him and then immediately sets off again. Whatever its mission, whatever its dread purpose, it accomplished it!
Cap yells at the Avengers to fall back while Reed straps a sonic generator to Iron Man's back alongside the Atlantean trumpet-horn he retrieved from Namor. Iron Man says that this jury-rigged contraption is astounding, and Reed admits that's quite a compliment, but he's sure that Iron Man's employer Tony Stark could do it at half the size! (He still had a secret identity at this time…) Now, Reed tells him, he should fly out over the ocean and the creatures should follow the signal of the horn!
Iron Man flies off, using some repulsor zaps to get the attention of the monsters, before triggering the horn with the help of the sonic generator, causing all the monsters to follow his siren call. They're drawn to it like moths to a bright light! Back on shore, Ben helps up Goliath, who admits that on days like this he wishes he'd never drank Hank Pym's growth potion! Back when he was just Hawkeye, he screwed up plenty… but at least not so many people could see it! Ben says he knows how the guy feels… Namor recovers from being clobbered and admits that the last thing he remembers is when he was attacking Doom. Sue compliments Reed for his masterstroke, as he's saved the city! Reed reminds her that she's the one who pointed out that nobody was controlling the creatures anymore, which gave him the idea in the first place!
Ben tells everyone that since Namor had some sense knocked into him, he might be able to tell them more about Doom's plans - but crafty as the villain is, he's betting against it. Thor wonders how this Doctor Doom could be so dangerous? He's only one man! Reed reminds Thor that he's clashed with Doom before, but he doesn't have the experience with him that the rest of them do. Doom is, simply put, the most dangerous man alive! To underestimate him could be fatal! Thor rubs his chin in contemplation. An author's note mentions that they know the encounter between Thor and Doom happened, but they have no idea where! This is actually a continuity gag since said encounter took place in Avengers v1 #1.5, another continuity insert!
Meanwhile, back at a lightning-enshrouded castle which is becoming more and more familiar, we catch up with Doom once more. He muses that all is going according to plan, as he knew it would! His remaining servant observes that the Avengers and the Fantastic Four drove his monsters off, so didn't they just foil his plan? Doom scoffs at that, and tells his ignorant lackey that they did no more and no less than he intended for them to do! While the heroes expended their energies in mindless combat, Doom continued his work undisturbed, and thus located that which he seeks. Already, the all-powerful Cosmic Cube is his, and the Ultimate Machine, and the Helix of Randac, and more besides. Soon, all of Earth will be his - and all resistance will be crushed before him, like a butterfly in a mailed fist. But first, he must secure another item of power…
The scene shifts to reveal a massive screen which is dominated by a dramatic Kirby Collage - Kollage - of various real-life microscopic images and other things stitched together to depict a truly alien landscape. Doom declares that this new item he desires can only be found in the deadly, trackless Negative Zone! He unleashes a bolt of energy from the Cosmic Cube to turn the video screen into a portal to the other dimension, and declares that this is where his next prize awaits, and where he now chooses to travel. Nobody, not even Richards or any of his ilk, can stop him! With that he jumps into the frame, and off into another world…
Next: But what about… Captain Marvel?!
Rating & Comments
After last issue's Doom-heavy mid-series turn, we pick back up here with a couple of issues which largely relegate said villainous mastermind to the role of background puppet master, while the actual story focuses more on the heroes taking on other threats. Still, Doom's plots and plans continue apace, and there's enough fun cut-aways to his activities to remind everyone of the threat he poses. Honestly, I kind of adore the opening scene of issue #7, where Crystal unexpectedly bumps into Doom just sort of lounging in his greatest enemy's base, casually looting the place and hardly even bothering to acknowledge the Inhuman that just walked in on him. Bonus points for going full dramatic with the billowing cosmic glow emanating from his mask, too - he did that entirely for effect, I'm sure we can all agree. This is some proper 60's supervillain Doom material!
While the Fantastic Four's escape from space is a little predictable - and even the method seems familiar, so they've probably done this trick before - I do like that their original intent to warn Nick Fury is unsuccessful. That means the only reason they even get saved here is because Doom didn't care to shut Crystal up after informing her about the Fantastic Four's last known location. As ever, his sheer arrogance and hubris get in the way of his goals…
By the way, I still have no idea whatsoever why Black Panther is in these issues. He was a useless addition to the last issue, and here he just spends a bunch more time doing nothing helpful again? He's not even calling up some Wakandan jets to pick them up or something, and his later contributions are hardly groundbreaking either. I guess they had a guest character quota to fill or something? Between Namor and the Avengers I imagine they were doing well on that front already, so it just seems like these writers got stuck with him due to the previous issues, and included him just because…
Leaving the heroes aside for the moment, we get some choice Doom-material here despite the fact that he hardly interacts with any of them. No, the writers take the opportunity to peek in on Doom while he's plotting and scheming at his New York castle, and his dismissive and callous attitude to his lackeys is kind of hilarious, and probably harsher than most of the actual 1960's issues. Sure, he killed Hauptmann, but that guy had it coming - this Doom mercilessly murders his minions for daring to flatter him in the wrong way, and he uses them to do tasks which might include some level of risk to himself. I am amused that despite the 'Doom toots as he pleases' meme, here Doom explicitly does not do the tooting for fear of some sort of trap.
This seems smart… until you remember that Doom has a reality-warping cube which could identify such a trap or just remove it, or duplicate the effect of the horn entirely if he wished. I guess he just sort of forgot he has that, since Doom is too busy threatening the lives of his servants' families and laughing maniacally about conquering the world. Actually, Doom does remember he has that cube when Namor comes knocking… by literally knocking down a wall, at that. The Avenging Son doesn't even get a punch in before Doom effortlessly defeats him, bouncing him around the room for a while as he monologues. I appreciate that Namor references his previous alliance with Doom from these early days in the comics - he's very likely referencing the whole shooting a building into space episode from Fantastic Four v1 #6, Doom's second-ever appearance, but they'd team up a few more times after that…
The subplot regarding a mind-controlled Namor leading an invasion of sea creatures takes up a lot of these two issues - Giganto and his monster friends are basically just there to keep everyone from going after Doom while he's busy, and they're quite successful at that. I think that the heroes spend a little long deciding who goes to follow up on which problem, as a lot of the first issue involves the heroes just kind of getting together and coming to a vague consensus. Doubly so because the Fantastic Four end up not even following their own plan and just join the fight against the sea monsters anyway. It's probably a good thing given that Reed is instrumental in fixing that mess, but it does result in a bunch of standing around talking against bland backgrounds.
The Avengers get a lot of airtime in the second issue, and it's surprising how impactful a lot of the fighting is here - the city is getting hammered by attacks, civilians are dying, Iron Man gets punched through a building, Cap nearly freaking dies from an angry Namor pummeling him… It's honestly pretty good, actually, and probably not what would have been published in the 60's. The set-up for the Thing taking up Captain America's shield and slamming it across Namor's face to take him out is pretty great, too. Not a lot of people get that honor, but here it's pretty explicitly Cap's intention here. Between that and the 'Imperius Rex'/ Clobbering Time' yells, this one really hits a lot of the classic references. Incidentally, having Thor absent for most of the battle so he can make a triumphant entrance… only for him to also be useless? I kind of liked that subversion!
Even during this huge brawl between the Avengers and some monsters, the comic remembers to include Doom in the action from afar by having one of his psyche-scalpel drones show up to steal knowledge from Thor - which presumably means that Doom is after some Asgardian stuff too, or at least some item that Thor would know about. I honestly did not expect those to make a second appearance… While the heroes celebrate their victory and Reed talks up Doom's bona fides some more by calling him the most dangerous man alive, Doom is gloating in his hot pink chair, already planning his next invasion - into the Negative Zone! I can guess what MacGuffin he's after there, since nobody can ever shut up about Annihilus' Cosmic Rod when that place comes up…
These two issues are, despite the huge fight scene in the latter half, considerably more lowkey entries in these series - they barely further the plot at all. Doom's plans are just sort of slowly progressing in unspecified ways, but he doesn't really get anything new in these two issues. The Fantastic Four get back to Earth and end up distracted for a while dealing with all the sea-related stuff going on, and that's it. These are still entertaining issues, and nice throwbacks to their era, but they could be largely omitted without much fuss. That said, I enjoyed all the glimpses of diabolical Doom we see here, including a few moments of him at his most stereotypically villainous. These are solid 3-star issues as a result, held back by the amount of regrouping the first issue contains and how ancillary most of it is to the larger plot.
Most Gloriously Villainous Doom Quotes
"Fascinating! Reed Richards has accomplished much for one of his limited intellect... This portable particle accelerator is almost the equal of the one I designed!"
"I shall refrain from such a pedestrian presentation of the unlimited power I now possess! You may have the unparalleled privilege of groveling at my feet along with the rest of humanity!"
"Rejoice, my humble servants - your triumphant master has returned!"
"My orders are to be obeyed instantly! to dither is to die!"
"Why do you falter? Have you forgotten that each breath you and your loved ones take - each moment your family lives - is only because I allow it? Your sovereign will design to forgive you... if you survive!"
"Doom needs no compliments from one such as you! All I require is total and blind OBEDIENCE!"
Lackey: "I... I live to obey, sire!"
Doom: "A sentiment that all humankind will soon share!"
"All goes according to plan - as I knew it would! ...Soon all of Earth will be mine, and all resistance will be crushed before me, like a butterfly in a mailed fist!"