ok, I agree with that, but at the very least there has to be a point in which we don't roll chapter by chapter anymore, but either for a set of chapters or maybe for mini-arcs.
I suppose a second set of rules could be applied once you reach a certain number of chapters, with different requirements and bonuses?
I have read Bakuman, I'm not expecting a hit series any time soon. I was mostly asking just to make sure that this doesn't cause problems in the future.
Bear in mind that nothing's set in stone yet, but I am thinking of switching things up for any series that manages to become a hit - basically changing it from chapter-to-chapter to arc-to-arc.
But I'm still not sure how well that'd mash with any other series we'd be doing at the time. Like, would we be doing this alongside any new series or just changing entirely over to the new format? Either way, it's still a bit far off into the future, so we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
Wait, crap. Sorry, I forgot to include the Refinement checks for the other two mangakas. Hang on, we'll do them now.
For Our Daughter is Actually a Vampire! Maeda suggested:
-[X] (Our Daughter is Actually a Vampire) Yes, actually…
--[X] Focus on the characters and their relationships, maybe use duller colors or shading on the adults to emphasize how disappointing and drab their lives have become in comparison to their daughter.
The DC is lowered due to being specific. The DC is lowered further due to the relative simplicity of the change and the example pictures given.
This will be a 1d100 Art check with a DC of 20/40/60/80.
Below 20: the changes just make the characters look ugly or unpleasant. (-5 to Characters)
20+: he applies the basic idea to the main character. (+5 to Characters)
40+: both the main character and his wife are changed. (+10 to Characters)
60+: the art style really highlights the differences between the dull, simple adults and the more normal looking teens (+15 Characters)
80+: the contrasting art styles mesh into something rather memorable (+15 Characters, +5 Art)
Meanwhile, for My Secret Ninja Sensei Needs to Stop Training Me, Maeda suggested:
-[X] (Secret Ninja Sensei) Yes, actually…
--[X] Lean into the comedy/exaggerated theming of the story, allowing the entire manga to have a lighter feeling to it. A story that can laugh at itself and poke fun at the manga industry a little bit.
The DC is increased due to the relative vagueness of the request.
This will be a 1d100 Story Writing check with a DC of 50/75.
Below 50: the mangaka's writing comes off as more cringe than comedy. (-10 to Story)
50+: he manages to add a few more chuckles here and there (+5 to Story)
75+: the emphasis on humor can really be seen throughout this chapter (+10 to Story)
Anyone who's interested in rolling can do so now. Just be sure to inform us which of these you're rolling for first. If nobody rolls within an hour, then I'll just do it myself.
Edit: Quest has rolled an 84 for Our Daughter is Actually a Vampire! and sevgre rolled a 21 for My Secret Ninja Sensei Needs to Stop Training Me.
Honestly that result makes sense for a high-schooler. Luckily his overall rolls are still pretty good. Can't wait for all of them to be explained in narrative!
all in all I'd say the high-schooler has a LOT of potential in the long term. He's young and has much less free time, but that also means he has YEARS he can use to really improve.
I mean, just watch how things went in Bakuman for an example. He'll definitely need either assistants or a partner if he's going to last long term though. And who knows, with him being young and more open to new ideas maybe he could try to use a few software apps to speed up his work?
The older man of the daughter vampire manga is less likely to last long term... but never say never. There WAS that one guy in Bakuman who managed to last, the one with the Otter manga.
...Actually, all three of those are very clearly inspired from Bakuman. There's the highschool newbie (though he lacks a partner), the older ex-salaryman, and the shoujo female mangaka turned to shounen.
I don't suppose we could fine a superprodigy not-Niizuma Eiji, right?
Note to self: the more specific and approachable advice the better.
Overall I am happy to see that Akira hit Bullseye and I am saddened that our advice regarding the story also made the Ninja story go below acceptable level. Goodness I really hope that Morita does not have Malus to writing story, but looking back at how his pitch was all over the place, I am afraid it may happen.
Well, what remains is to see how the mangas look in practice. Currently I am most hopeful over Subaru, neutral towards Vampire chan, and the Ninja story while having tons of potential and luck, is something I am worried about due to our advice. Or rather my problem is not the stats of the manga but the fact that Morita is gonna be very upset at us for giving him horrible ideas. Next time we have chance to do some Networking we should choose that kid, learn more about him and make him know that we want best. Last thing that we want is the kid seeing us as some random greedy corpo drone that doesn't care about his product. Am I overexaggerating? If we were talking about Akira or Tana I would agree, but Morita is still a kid, a passionate one, this makes him unpredictable and its easy to leave bad impression on him.
Note to self: the more specific and approachable advice the better.
Overall I am happy to see that Akira hit Bullseye and I am saddened that our advice regarding the story also made the Ninja story go below acceptable level. Goodness I really hope that Morita does not have Malus to writing story, but looking back at how his pitch was all over the place, I am afraid it may happen.
Well, what remains is to see how the mangas look in practice. Currently I am most hopeful over Subaru, neutral towards Vampire chan, and the Ninja story while having tons of potential and luck, is something I am worried about due to our advice. Or rather my problem is not the stats of the manga but the fact that Morita is gonna be very upset at us for giving him horrible ideas. Next time we have chance to do some Networking we should choose that kid, learn more about him and make him know that we want best. Last thing that we want is the kid seeing us as some random greedy corpo drone that doesn't care about his product. Am I overexaggerating? If we were talking about Akira or Tana I would agree, but Morita is still a kid, a passionate one, this makes him unpredictable and its easy to leave bad impression on him.
Nothing to it but to try our best going forward. Seems our writing advice was pretty hard for Morita, he might have some serious difficulties with that.
I suggest we network with both Akira and Morita next turn at the least, and see what we can do about easing stuff on them. I wonder if we'll get the chance to clean up the comedy a bit in the editing process?
Bit late but a piece of advice I would give to our current and future mangaka is to give the main cast of characters something distinctive about their appearance. It doesn't need to be something super attention grabbing or complicated or over the top, indeed it can be very simple and small, just something distinctive to that character. Something identifying.
The main and best example I would site for this is Luffy and his Strawhat. Like, imagine early Luffy's character design but without the hat. It's honestly incredibly bland. Almost straight up background character tier. He'd just be a guy in a t-shirt, shorts, and sandals with a small scar under his eye.
But put The Hat on him? It makes him instantly recognizable. It's something that can be recognized completely on its own as Luffys Hat. And it's an incredibly simple thing both in design but also in what it is, namely, it's a straw hat. Its literally the most mundane piece of clothing ever.
And hot damn did Oda do a lot with that hat. Thing has more story behind it than most novel series.
Another example that's maybe even better is Hestia from Danmachi and her… what would you call it? Boob ribbon? Y'all know what I'm talking about.
I remember reading a thing where Danmachis mangaka was doing an interview or something and he was talking about Hestias design and how it just wasn't coming out how he wanted, that there wasn't much distinctive about her look. Then he came up with that silly tit supporting ribbon and bam! The whole design just came together and solidified.
Nothing to it but to try our best going forward. Seems our writing advice was pretty hard for Morita, he might have some serious difficulties with that.
Bit late but a piece of advice I would give to our current and future mangaka is to give the main cast of characters something distinctive about their appearance. It doesn't need to be something super attention grabbing or complicated or over the top, indeed it can be very simple and small, just something distinctive to that character. Something identifying.
I'll add this to the mechanics threadmark later, but the stat, DC and bonuses for the Refinement rolls will be based on three questions:
What do you want the mangaka to change?
How are they supposed to make this change?
Why are they making this change?
For example, let's look at the differences between the suggestions given to the first chapters of Our Daughter is Actually a Vampire! and My Secret Ninja Sensei Needs to Stop Training Me.
-[X] (Our Daughter is Actually a Vampire) Yes, actually…
--[X] Focus on the characters and their relationships, maybe use duller colors or shading on the adults to emphasize how disappointing and drab their lives have become in comparison to their daughter.
What do you want the mangaka to change?
In this case, it's the character's art, so this will mainly affect the Characters stat.
How are they supposed to make this change?
The suggestion here gave a specific example of how to do this (duller colors or shading). Someone also posted some pics as an example. These make it much easier for the mangaka and thus lowers the DC.
Why are they making this change?
We have an answer here: "to emphasize how disappointing and drab their lives have become in comparison to their daughter". Since you have a clear answer of what you're hoping to accomplish, it's easier for the mangaka to implement. This adds extra tiers, which means higher potential bonuses.
-[X] (Secret Ninja Sensei) Yes, actually…
--[X] Lean into the comedy/exaggerated theming of the story, allowing the entire manga to have a lighter feeling to it. A story that can laugh at itself and poke fun at the manga industry a little bit.
What do you want the mangaka to change?
Here it seems to be focusing on the tone of the story, so this will be affecting the Story stat.
How are they supposed to make this change?
This part is unclear. You say you want to "lean into the comedy/exaggerated theming", but what exactly is the mangaka supposed to do here? Put in more puns, insert a skit, give the MC a ninja skill that lets him steal his opponent's underwear? Because the mangaka has to come up with it all by himself, this raises the base DC.
Why are they making this change?
Again, this part is a bit unclear. It's mentioned that you want "a story that can laugh at itself and poke fun at the manga industry", but how exactly is that supposed to make this particular story better? Because the mangaka isn't sure what the end goal is, the potential bonuses are reduced.
Special notes:
Please remember that a mangaka can only make so many changes before it begins to affect the quality of the story. If you give too many suggestions, the mangaka will start accumulating penalties to the Refinement roll. Maeda won't know the exact number in-character yet, but I can tell you that the number of suggestions that a mangaka can receive will be based on their experience level.
Very minor changes (changing some minor one-time background character's name, for example) may not require any Refinement rolls, but will also not give any mechanical bonuses. These minor changes will not be counted for the Refinement roll penalties.
Really major changes, on the other hand, may cause some pushback from the mangaka. For example, demanding that a really gritty and serious dark fantasy suddenly change to an ecchi comedy halfway through. These kind of major changes may require Favor trading or a persuasion check of some kind to convince the mangaka to go through with it and will usually have a significant Refinement roll penalty.
What do you want the mangaka to change?
Here it seems to be focusing on the tone of the story, so this will be affecting the Story stat.
How are they supposed to make this change?
This part is unclear. You say you want to "lean into the comedy/exaggerated theming", but what exactly is the mangaka supposed to do here? Put in more puns, insert a skit, give the MC a ninja skill that lets him steal his opponent's underwear? Because the mangaka has to come up with it all by himself, this raises the base DC.
Why are they making this change?
Again, this part is a bit unclear. It's mentioned that you want "a story that can laugh at itself and poke fun at the manga industry", but how exactly is that supposed to make this particular story better? Because the mangaka isn't sure what the end goal is, the potential bonuses are reduced.
Special notes:
Please remember that a mangaka can only make so many changes before it begins to affect the quality of the story. If you give too many suggestions, the mangaka will start accumulating penalties to the Refinement roll. Maeda won't know the exact number in-character yet, but I can tell you that the number of suggestions that a mangaka can receive will be based on their experience level.
Very minor changes (changing some minor one-time background character's name, for example) may not require any Refinement rolls, but will also not give any mechanical bonuses. These minor changes will not be counted for the Refinement roll penalties.
Really major changes, on the other hand, may cause some pushback from the mangaka. For example, demanding that a really gritty and serious dark fantasy suddenly change to an ecchi comedy halfway through. These kind of major changes may require Favor trading or a persuasion check of some kind to convince the mangaka to go through with it and will usually have a significant Refinement roll penalty.
I see, so the specifics present in the prior suggestions are more useful than more open-ended advice as far as the mangakas are concerned? Likewise, it seems that giving examples that the mangaka can reference while working will also help lower those pesky DCs. That will be super useful to know going forward, I suppose.
I had figured while writing that last suggestion for Ninja-sensei that the mangaka would already sort of understand my meaning, seeing as he was more or less parodying Naruto in one way or another to begin with—and I wasn't quite sure what kind of comedy he was going for... but I think that didn't work out so well.
I had figured while writing that last suggestion for Ninja-sensei that the mangaka would already sort of understand my meaning, seeing as he was more or less parodying Naruto in one way or another to begin with—and I wasn't quite sure what kind of comedy he was going for... but I think that didn't work out so well.
To be clear, adding more comedy wasn't a bad suggestion, but you needed to be more specific about how and why. Cause otherwise you end up in a situation where the mangaka goes "Hmm... he wants it to be funny? I got it! I'll just add a bunch of fart jokes! Everyone thinks that fart jokes are funny, right?"
Please remember that a mangaka can only make so many changes before it begins to affect the quality of the story. If you give too many suggestions, the mangaka will start accumulating penalties to the Refinement roll. Maeda won't know the exact number in-character yet, but I can tell you that the number of suggestions that a mangaka can receive will be based on their experience level.
Or maybe some gags based around the MC'S wish to be a ramain chef like getting consistently like low grades on cooking class because he's totally disinterested in cooking Technics that's unrelated to Raman making or a dream sequence where the MC is the star of a cooking series (ex: food wars, Yakitate!! Japan, Toriko) and finally a maybe a serious Sasuke style foil whose attempts at being serious is mitigated by the fact he's the luck of Genos when it comes to fights.
Also we could also sprinkle in some hints to a "serious" arc since even Gintama takes things complete seriously from time to time and those arcs are as well regarded at the comedy Arcs.
It's Friday afternoon, and the final manuscript has just arrived at your desk. According to Masaru, in the past the mangakas would deliver their work in person. Nowadays, you have the internet. The office printer was on the fritz, but luckily you were able to convince a friend in Marketing to let you borrow theirs for a bit.
Despite the fact that you weren't the one who drew these manuscripts, you can't help feeling a tinge of nervousness as you look through them. This was it - the key part of your job, and the one you probably felt the least ready to handle. Still, this was just the first chapter. Surely it wouldn't be too bad, right?
Alright, Tana-sensei's work. Thanks to your previous visit, you already had a good idea of what to expect, but you had to admit that she had definitely managed to surprise you with the end result.
Even to your amateur eyes, the world of Junkyard just felt alive. It felt like every page contained an eye catching new scene or background event - a pack of alien bug-cat things squabbling over some scraps of food in the corner of one scene, a street vendor selling fried giant slugs, even a pair of derelict robot beggars who heckled the main characters for spare change as they walked down the street.
And speaking of the main characters, Tana-sensei's efforts had paid off at least a little bit. Instead of a pure, innocent boy who just wants to help everyone, the new Subaru-kun is a hot-headed, stubborn brat who's determined to get off his shithole of a planet as soon as he can save up enough money to buy a ticket.
He admittedly feels like a slightly generic shonen character next to the more unusual and mysterious Kiki, but at least the new Subaru-kun has an excuse for his unusual piloting skill. In his introduction, he's shown riding a scrappy little hoverbike through town for his package delivery job - he's the self declared "fastest courier in town", so after his bike gets crushed by Kiki's ship it makes sense that he'd pick up another job that'd let him zoom about everywhere.
Unfortunately, while the world and characters are fairly decent, the actual racing parts are kind of… meh. They're ok, you guess, but there's no pop, nothing to make it stand out. For a racing manga, there's just very little of the high speed action you'd expect.
The second series, Our Daughter is Actually a Vampire!... you hate to admit it, but you can't help feeling a little disappointed with it.
The art is surprisingly good. Aoki seems to have taken your advice to heart, making good use of simplified designs for the adult characters to create a stylistic effect that meshes well with the more detailed teenaged characters.
Sure, it's still a little rough, but all of the characters feel distinct. Even from their first introduction, you suspect that you could pick any of these characters out from a crowd. It's the little details that stand out, really - Ikoa's bright yellow duck-patterned tie, the wife's funky 70s style glasses, even the daughter's spiked choker which contrasts with her good little schoolgirl image.
Unfortunately, while the art is decent, the writing leaves something to be desired. The story which seemed so interesting at first glance is ruined by its cluttered, meandering pacing. Things take waaay too long to happen, and side characters like the wife just seem to be there for the sake of filling up space.
You could probably make this manga more readable just by removing a few extraneous pages and cutting out the wife entirely. It'd be a shame - you do like her design - but maybe Aoki could introduce her in the next chapter instead?
[ ] [Our Daughter Vampire] Accept as is. No changes
Finally, you come to the third piece. You had to admit, you didn't have high hopes for My Secret Ninja Sensei Needs to Stop Training Me at first, but despite his youth Sano has definitely shown his talent.
First up, the entire chapter feels pretty solid - an impressive job considering the mangaka's age and lack of experience. Even without any editing, you could definitely see something of this quality being printed on a magazine somewhere.
The combat scenes in particular are well done, effectively showing the main character stomping in the opening section and getting stomped in turn in the last few pages. Seeing him disarm an enemy ninja with nothing but a pair of chopsticks looks - for lack of a better word - cool. Yeah, it's pretty rough, but you could definitely see potential here.
The problem, once again, comes from the writing. In hindsight, telling a teenage boy to just "make something funny" might not have been your best idea.
Admittedly, the first few gags were a bit funny, if a little immature. But after the fourth loud fart joke you just wanted to groan and bury your head in your hands. And calling the ninja teacher the "biggest, boobiest ninja ever" definitely sounds like the kind of thing that would have made you giggle… oh, about ten years ago.
And speaking of Big Booby Sensei, she's probably one of the weaker aspects of this manga. For crying out loud, she doesn't even have a name! She just feels flat, like she's only there for exposition and breast jokes. You'll definitely need to fix this up before passing the final submission on to Masaru.
[ ] [Secret Ninja Sensei] Accept as is. No changes
[ ] [Secret Ninja Sensei] Rejected.
[ ] [Secret Ninja Sensei] Edit
-[ ] How?
[ ] [Secret Ninja Sensei] Crunch Time? (Crunch time unavailable for this mangaka due to ???)
—--------
It's review time! As mentioned earlier, Maeda has an Editor Bonus of 20 points.
In other words, you have 20 points that can be passed around to any stat of any manga you like. You can put in as much or as little as you want — there is a maximum cap of 25 points, but you don't have to worry about that yet.
Please note that a stat of 50 is considered "average". The minimum to avoid being rejected by the Editor in Chief is 40.
If you don't feel that that's enough, you can force a mangaka to do Crunch Time, which forces them to reroll a stat altogether. Note that doing this too often can have negative effects on the mangaka's health.
And finally, if you think that a work is beyond saving you can just Reject it altogether.
To make it easier to organize, please vote by plan for this one.
[ ] [Space Racer] Accept as is. No changes
[ ] [Space Racer] Rejected.
[ ] [Space Racer] Edit
-[ ] How?
[ ] [Space Racer] Crunch Time
-[ ] Which stat?
[ ] [Our Daughter Vampire] Accept as is. No changes
I think we should just improve the things that need to pass 40 (plus Dynamic Art in Subaru-kun because racing). I also have kind of an OCD when it comes to things needing to be in fives and tens, so win-win for me.
Ok, wow, Akira sure suprised me with a massive boost to character art, like holy crap he is just as good at it as Tana is good at setting, and its actually very good to see that kid is good at making dynamic art. Seems like the idea of turning this story into a crack story with tons of comedy but also very good action, ala One Punch Man or Jujutsu Kaisen is on the table with this one.
As for the numbers: Subaru Kun needs no boosts to meet the requirements, those are some great news, and that means more points for us.
Vampire chan needs to be boosted in terms of supporting characters (3 points) and story (2) points
And finally we need to boost Ninja's supporting character by 4, so chief likes it.
Overall we have great news that we now know who has what mastery and what we should max, with Tana being setting master, Akira being Character art master, and Morita shall be known as dynamic action master. So, with that being said this means we have 11 points to split between the 3 to boost their strength and diminish their weaknesses, I say 3 points to Tana and 4 points for both Akira and Morita should do the trick
Subaru will drawn in people looking for great setting with great way of portraying it, Vampire Daughter will become recognisable by its experimental approach to character design and Ninja Sensai... let's be honest this one is gonna be a no brainer battle and action-comedy manga, and as we all know those can be pretty freaking fun and popular and there is no shortage of people that like them.
