Deedeequest or The Wonders of Mundus: Be Careful Who You Pretend To Be - A Genderous Isekai Quest

[Talia B]

We must decide how far to take our old friends and new allies into our confidence, and how to continue the investigation from here.

First off, regarding Kevin Moon. Deedee was closer to him in high school aikido classes than in college English, and you two drifted even further apart before the incident that brought you both here. Still, he was once a friend and is in a kind of pain Deedee is uniquely equipped to help him heal. How do we proceed?

[] [KEVIN] Explain your situation over beers. Explicitly point out how it parallels his situation.
[] [KEVIN] Explain your situation over beers. Let him make the connection to his situation himself.
[] [KEVIN] Let him vent over beers. Offer what sympathy and insight you can.
[] [KEVIN] Spar with him for old times sake and see what comes of it.
[] [KEVIN] Write-in, subject to veto.

Second, there's Ralph to consider. For all that he wept tears of joy to see Deedee, he's also holding his cards close to his chest, and the fact that he was looking for you by Earthside legal names provided by an unnamed third party is concerning, at best. How do we approach him?

[] [RALPH] With open arms as the close friend he was Earthside. You know you can trust him.
[] [RALPH] Your friendship counts for a lot, but you should still ask after his patrons and reasons for being here, and verify the answers.
[] [RALPH] This is suspicious. His being a friend from Earthside helps, but doesn't change that. You need to investigate his patrons... or handlers.
[] [RALPH] You're glad he missed you, but you really didn't expect him to miss you that much. You're missing something and you need to find out what.
[] [RALPH] Write-in, subject to veto.

We'll be investigating the other cooks and confectioners in the village. Should we explain our mission to Ralph's party and let them help?

[] [INVESTIGATION] Explain the details of the mission, and that you're specifically looking for playerbase griefers and any villagers on their side.
[] [INVESTIGATION] Explain that you're investigating monster attacks you suspect were provoked by griefers from the playerbase, and let them help.
[] [INVESTIGATION] Explain that you're investigating the village because of unusually fierce monster attacks and let them help.
[] [INVESTIGATION] Explain that you have a sensitive job to do that you can't talk about, but you'd be happy to catch up with his party later.
[] [INVESTIGATION] Write-in, subject to veto.

Two hour moratorium so there's discussion before the vote. Vote opens at 11:30 PM tonight and closes at 6:30 PM Wednesday.

 

[Talia B]

Scheduled vote count started by Talia B on Oct 28, 2024 at 12:12 AM, finished with 6 posts and 5 votes.

[kevin] [ralph] [investigation]

• Total voters in this category

  5

  ---

  3 people have voted

  [X] [KEVIN] Spar with him for old times sake, then do a little drinking and lay out your situation. Let him make the connection from there.

  • DrunkenGrognard
  • F0lkL0re
  • Fabricati

  1 people have voted

  [X] [KEVIN] Spar with him for old times sake and see what comes of it.

  • hostelcalifornia

  1 people have voted

  [X] [KEVIN] Let him vent over beers. Offer what sympathy and insight you can.

  • Mandy Dragonfly

• Total voters in this category

  5

  ---

  4 people have voted

  [X] [RALPH] Your friendship counts for a lot, but you should still ask after his patrons and reasons for being here, and verify the answers.

  • hostelcalifornia
  • DrunkenGrognard
  • F0lkL0re
  • Fabricati

  1 people have voted

  [X] [RALPH] You're glad he missed you, but you really didn't expect him to miss you that much. You're missing something and you need to find out what.

  • Mandy Dragonfly

• Total voters in this category

  5

  ---

  4 people have voted

  [X] [INVESTIGATION] Explain that you're investigating monster attacks you suspect were provoked by griefers from the playerbase, and let them help.

  • hostelcalifornia
  • DrunkenGrognard
  • F0lkL0re
  • Fabricati

  1 people have voted

  [X] [INVESTIGATION] Explain the details of the mission, and that you're specifically looking for playerbase griefers and any villagers on their side.

  • Mandy Dragonfly

 

[Talia B]

Maris Piper felt like putting up some Samhain decorations.

Happy halloween from the Other Worlds Tourism Bureau. Maris Piper and illustration by Pasteldaemon.

Expect an update next week… and something exciting tomorrow.

 

[Talia B]

To the tune of Welcome to the Internet
With apologies to Bo Burnham​

Welcome to another world! Have a look around
It's got every quirk of pike and shot the Devteam ever found,
We've got mountains of questlines, some better, some worse,
If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first.

Welcome to another world! Come and have a seat,
One you wake up in the shipwreck find the village and your feet,
There's no need to panic, this isn't a test -
Wait, these hunger mechanics weren't part of the quest...

Welcome to another world! What would you prefer?
Play a foxgirl, catboy, pixie (and get called a racial slur)
Be happy, be horny, be bursting with rage,
Just don't stand in crosshairs when you engage!

Welcome to another world! Mundus wants to be explored!
Here's a mine for magic crystals, here's a temple's holy whores,
We've got wizards, and outlaws, high fantasy sports,
And a bunch of ornate tapestries about the snake titan enslaving half of mankind before the Gods blew up her island -

Welcome to another world, you'd better gird your loins,
Cause some randos tried to ambush you and burgle all your coin,
Their disguises are offputting and you know the score,
These guys are fellow Players trying to start a war!

Would you like to slay a dragon, play some futbol, sell some cheese?
Try to find your logged-in children, smell the flowers, feel the breeze,
Start a rumor, fly a broom, tell the Baron to face his doom,
Cause he kidnapped a princess to groom her, cast a spell to krackathoom 'er -
Here's a rustic breakfast porridge! You should join the Cult of Moms,
Here's a guildie wants to fuck you, and an Alchie with a bomb,
Which of the Fourteen should you worship, take this quirky quiz,
Convince the Contessa you weren't sent to steal away her kids...

Could we interest you in everywhere, all of the time?
A little bit of everywhere, all of the time?
You don't know if you'll resurrect or how you even arrived,
But Mundus does have everywhere, all of the time.
Could I interest you in everywhere, all of the time?
A little bit of everywhere, all of the time?
You don't know if you'll resurrect or how you even arrived,
But Mundus does have everywhere, all of the time.

You know, it wasn't always like this...
Not very long ago, just before your time
Right before the Quarantine got us all inside,
An ambitious game made it's leap to fame as a place for friends to meet
Where everyone could wear a mask that revealed who they could be.
See, what heroes we could be...
Daddy let me use his Helm, wasn't even twenty...
And we met all the friends we hoped we could meet...

Now look at you, look at you,
Unstoppable, popping off,
Our time is now, our insides out, and look how we grew...
And if we stick together, who knows what we can do?

It was always the plan to put Mundus in your hands.

(three seconds Echidna laughing unskippable.wav)

Could we interest you in everywhere, all of the time?
A little bit of everywhere, all of the time?
You don't know if you'll resurrect or how you even arrived,
But Mundus does have everywhere, all of the time.
Could I interest you in everywhere, all of the time?
A little bit of everywhere, all of the time?
You don't know if you'll resurrect or how you even arrived,
Anywhere and anything and anywhere and anything and anywhere and everything and anywhere and everything...
All of the time.

---

Not the exciting thing I was hinting at, which might be tonight or the weekend. But I saw it and realized I hadn't posted it here yet, so, enjoy.

 

[Talia B]

I meet Kevin after breakfast the next day, on the side of a road. Master Jatu, sensing 'learning opportunities,' decides to supervise, leaving us with the awkward question of how to introduce him in his current state.

"This is my friend from before we started Adventuring," is what I decided on, deferring that question to the one it affects the most.

"Kevin Moon," he insists, eyes flashing, daring her to say anything about it.

"Are you, now?" she asks. "And how have you trained?"

"No magic," he says, rolling a shoulder in a maille sleeve. "No frills. Just kicking ass."

"I see," she says, a hand over her mouth unable to conceal the smile in her eyes. "Show us, then, the purity of your art, as Deedee demonstrates the grace of hers."

Jatu drops a handkerchief.

When it touches the ground, Many things happen near faster than I can track them.

Kevin's main weapon is a pike - a spear at the end of a pole taller than he is, better for thrusting than slicing but capable of both. His pike sails right where I was a second ago as I pull up my knees after me in a leaping forward kick.

His eyes follow me as I flip forward into a dive-kick - the Gryphon Talon Kick - but my trajectory is wrong, he's already slipped past it, and I land and wheel to face him.

He's already throwing something at me, snatched from his back.

My attack and defense are one as I cup my hands together and scream the incantation: "Gale Blast!"

We both hit. His javelin cuts through the center of the Blast and slams into me, driving me to one knee with its weight; but my Gale Blast continues onward and lifts a very surprised Kevin off his feet and several meters away before he can control his fall with the butt of his pike.

I yank the javelin and my ruined outer coat off before foolishly leaping up for another Gryphon Talon Kick - a move he's seen before and is anticipating.

He casually swats me out of the sky with his pike, then is on top of me with its point at my heart.

There is a moment where all we can hear is our heavy breathing before the sounds of Vinyedo trickle back in - the river flowing, the sheep bleating, the birds singing.

Then Kevin, smirking, rocks his body back and offers me a gauntleted arm up. I take it.

"Well, what did you learn?" Jatu asks me.

"Don't fuck with me?" Kevin suggests.

"I underestimated him because he's a friend, and also not a caster," I said. "I needed to respect the superior range of the pike and find a less risky way inside it, and not waste time with theatrics."

Kevin nods. "Also, don't fuck with me. Though I gotta say the instant tornado caught me flatfooted. I shouldn't even be surprised this place got you magic cheat powers along with your boob job, huh?"

"And nerfed to first level," I reply, examining Kevin and his new, feminine elven body. Though on closer examination, it was a Rosie the Riveter frame, short and stocky as Alfar go and well toned, the major concessions to conventional beauty in large expressive eyes and wavy short-cropped hair with bangs forming a heart on his forehead. "But I bet you got the raw strength to bench-press a Volvo with yours."

He shoulder-checks my gaze, turning his eyes away from mine. "Wasn't worth it. Not worth getting ogled by knights and called 'lass' by condescending peasantry. How the hell do you cope? Fuck, how do actual women?"

I tighten a fist, reminding myself that he doesn't know.

"You thirsty?" I ask.

"Like a fish," he responds, laughing.

"Back in college the loser bought the first round, right?" I say, flipping a silver coin and catching it.

"Let me know if that gets too expensive for you," he says, grinning.

---

With thanks to my prereader @NekoIncardine. More coming soon.

 

[Talia B]

"Say what else you will about this whole fuckin' ordeal," Kevin says, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "Food's good and the beer's great. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised at that."

"One of the advantages of starting in Fantasy Spain," I say, raising my own flagon.

He convivially clinks it; I sip where he quaffs.

"Earlier," I say, "you ask me how I dealt with the - condescention. With wolf-whistles and such."

"It drives me out of my mind," Kevin admits. "It's like - it was different when someone back home asked if I was working out because I was, thanks for noticing. Here they're drooling over things I don't want and can't control."

"It's not really a compliment," I agree, taking a slice of egg pie. "I'd imagine you wouldn't want a stranger to yell 'nice ass' to you across a room even back home in the right body."

"Yeah man, that's a second date kind of thing," he says, letting out a nervous bark of laughter.

"Keeping battle stance helps," I say. "Playing the badass dragonslaying adventurer helps. Folks sense the battle aura and the, like, professionalism."

I peer into an empty flagon. Kevin shakes his, then waves at a barmaid with two silvers in his grip. I take a long look at him, in his body too small and too curved for him, as he hands her the coins and a tip and I see him wink at her as she fills our steins.

"You know the flirting's part of the job to her, that she's trying to get tips, yeah?" I ask.

"And it's working, man." He grins as he raises a fresh beer to his mouth. "If this game wants me to be a girl I'm gonna be a goddamn dyke."

"I mean, same," I say, very carefully. "But I've mostly been dating other Players stuck here. And my case is…"

I steeple my fingers in front of my mouth and frown.

Kevin senses the shift in mood and sits up. "What's going on, dude?"

I sigh, eye twitching at dude, and look up at Kevin with what I hope is a smile.

"You talked about not wanting that -" I gesture at his chest, my hand describing a curve. "-all that. Bet it feels wrong - every time it bounces or you feel longer hair on your neck or softer skin on your arm is a jarring reminder that you're piloting a foreign body, that it doesn't belong to you."

He takes a deep breath, hand over a grimace. "Shit," he says, and then, "You were always the better poet. That's exactly it. I didn't have the words but those are them. This isn't my body, it's - a rental I'm driving."

"Yeah. That's because I know exactly how it feels," I say, and take a swig of my beer.

"I'll fuckin' bet," he mutters, looking over the amazonian, curvy, vulpecian body I've grown into like a lucky jacket.

"From home," I say. "That's how I felt every day back home in the Bay."

Kevin pauses with his drink halfway to his lips.

"What?" he asks, something raw in his voice.

"You're where I was, approaching it from the opposite direction," I say. "I didn't have words for it either, back home, until I got - stuck here in Mundus like this," and I put a hand over my heart, over my bust.

There was a long moment of silence between us, Kevin glancing at me once before staring down into his beer.

"You were born in a body that suited you perfectly, and when that was taken away from you, you could feel every way your replacement was screamingly wrong," I say. "While I was born in the wrong one - and only realized why it made me miserable, that it made me miserable, once I woke up in Mundus with the right one."

"Jesus, Deedee," Kevin said very softly.

And that's when I knew it was safe to cry.

"You must be going through absolute hell," I say. "But I've been. I can't go back. If we wake up in a hospital tomorrow I might not be Deedee anymore, but I cannot - cannot - be fucking Jake again."

"Not if it's a tenth of this shit," Kevin agrees, offering an arm. "Fucking Christ, no wonder you bit off my head."

I let him put a hand on my shoulder, shudder, breathe, and regain composure.

"Wish I - wish I noticed something Earthside," he says. "Maybe then we wouldn't have…"

He shakes his head.

"Would have had to known me better than I knew myself," I say. "But maybe it's time for a reintroduction."

I put out my hand. "Deedee Yeowoo, healer and martial artist."

He takes it. "Kevin Moon, lately a soldier of fortune. Good to meet you again, my du- uh. Deeds."

I laugh, once, cawing mirth.

"You're fine," I say.

---

Thanks again to @NekoIncardine for prereading.