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CV12Hornet Cleans Out His Fanfiction Favorites List (Beware of Shit Taste)

Which list should I go through first?

  • Fanfiction.net

    Votes: 24 66.7%

  • FIMfiction.net

    Votes: 8 22.2%

  • Spacebattles

    Votes: 2 5.6%

  • Sufficient Velocity.

    Votes: 2 5.6%
  • Total voters
    36
  • Poll closed .
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Assorted Amphibia Fics
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    • Maybe it's a human thing?


    DragonLovingGirl6, Sketchy_Vore


    All things considered, it should have been a normal evening (well, as normal as it gets when an egg, a hyperactive son, and a large unknown biped are raised under one roof).

    Instead, it turned into a nightmare for everyone involved.
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    This feels like a small part of a larger story. Which I suppose is decently accurate, given it's stated in the tags to be inspired by another fic.

    Well, I'm running off to check that one out, so good job, author.

    You're on the list.

    Unexpected help


    DragonLovingGirl6


    This might just be one of the most eventful days in Hopediah Plantar's long life. First, the toads arrived in town, only for them to come to his door claiming he hadn't paid his taxes (which he was pretty sure he did). Then they tried to take his snail for compensation, like heck he'd let them take his beloved Bessie! Then he got arrested for assaulting a Toad Tower deputy, just in time for his grandson to get back home.

    Now, when Sprig grabbed his little sister and yelled he'd 'get help', Hopediah had not expected him to return with the largest apex predator in all of Amphibia.
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    Not gonna lie, I did not expect this to be another example of "Calamity Trio transformed into local critter". Kinda disappointing.

    You're not on the list.

    Catachresis


    Nosferatank


    Three human children vanish from a park in Los Angeles, and there is no trace or written runaway note to be found.

    Three warm-blooded monsters appear in Amphibia, and nobody can understand what they're saying.
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    Honestly, I suspect I still don't know enough about Amphibia to really appreciate this AU. But I do know this is some good shit! This is a fic that uses the language barrier well, setting it as an obstacle that lasts just long enough to radically change the dynamics with the amphibians our girls meet, and subsequently greatly changes the arc of their character development. Add on early use of their Calamity powers, and Andrias being even more of a dick, and this was just a really fun cultural exchange story.

    You're on the list!

    Towering Child


    colourfulangel


    "She was just a kid. He had enlisted a child as his second-in-command. That was unethical. Sure, she was no pollywog, but four limbs an adult does not make. "

    Captain Grime comes to the realization that he kept a 13-year old in jail for a month or two. How was he to know, that the look of fear and disgust she first gave him was not that of a downed heron, but of a scared tadpole?
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    Oof, that's an exquisite gut punch at the end. I feel for Grime, but my sympathy is greatly reduced by his prior unwillingness to face the implications of his realization.

    You're on the list.

    The Scenic Route


    Nosferatank


    The sky blazed with the fire of Calamity, a bright beacon above grass-woven gravel trails and sun-grayed roads. Heart, Wit, and Strength were once more… Well, they're on the same planet, at least.

    As it turns out, weird magic music boxes don't have GPS.
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    One of the things I appreciate about Amphibia, as a series, is that it's one of the rare isekai that revisits Earth at some point. Season 3 is mostly devoted to Anne's return to Los Angeles. The Scenic Route takes that and brings Sash and Marcy in on the "return to Earth" action.

    The thing is, the fic is laser-focused on Sasha, Marcy, and their relationship. Very character-focused, and that's not quite what I'm looking for in this sort of story. There's some commentary on the differences between Earth and Amphibia, and a fair bit on Sasha's experience in that other world, but it's not a focus. Toss in just how headcanony the characterization is, and on balance I think I'll leave this off.

    You're not on the list.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Assort MHA fics
  • Threadmarks

    • Houston, this is Voyager, can you hear me?

    By: 07JoeTheBastardo

    It starts with the abduction and imprisonment of a very human Izuku in a galaxy fearful of those who live in the void of madness- this unfortunately starts the series of unfortunate events for the galaxy as a whole as Humanity starts knocking at their door.
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    Welp, it was worth a shot.

    Taking this version of humanity from the Veil of Madness setting instead of something more Jenkinsverse styled could've been a good idea. But it's wasted on the cliched "thrown in a cell with Aizawa" setup. Add in the technical errors, and nooooooo thank you.

    You're not on the list.

    Izuku 'Virgin' Midoriya


    jaegerackereri


    "Who in here has had sex before?" He said in a quiet voice, but because the class was silent they could hear it all too well.

    No one spoke up.

    "Alright- everyone close their eyes…"

    They did.

    "Now raise your hand if you have had sex before."

    His heart raced as he looked at each of the people with their hands raised.

    Sero, Mina, Hagakure, Kirishima?!

    He looked to the right side of his class and his heart almost jumped into his throat.

    Midoriya. Izuku's. Hand. Was. Up.
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    Listen. The fact that Izuku fucking Midoriya, of all people, has had sex before is a good gag. I truly think that. But not like this. This is just... bad, in frustratingly non-specific ways.

    You're not on the list.

    The Peaceful Warlords


    LitaCakes


    The standard galactic hour had one minute remaining when a voice crackled over the communicator lines. It took at least thirty seconds for the translators to catch up. In those thirty seconds, lights on every planet had lit up. Red dots appeared on almost all of the Tekran's ships, clearly emanating from the planets that surrounded them. The Tekran's seemed slightly shaken but waited until the translation was complete before reacting.

    "Hello! My name is Commander Nedzu of the USJ Nishimura, the flagship of the United Milky Way Commission. Our response is simple." The man's voice deepened as he spoke, "Leave. Don't come back."
    _____
    OR: Alien invasion? Yep. OR at least... they tried. But the universe seems to have forgotten why Earth was put in a quarantine in the first place. Nedzu, Izuku, and Katsuki remind them pretty quickly.
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    Stock HFY dreck, complete with lecture at the end.

    You're not on the list.

    #RIPAllMight by sundefeater lou (sundefeater)


    '#RIPallmight' was trending. This wasn't unusual for celebrities, which limelight heroes certainly were, but this one was odd - namely because it cropped up just seconds after a live interview with the man himself abruptly ended when he rushed off the stage with a hurried "my son is sick and needs me" thrown over his shoulder.

    The first instance of the tag came from the account @greenvalleymom, whose only other tweets included a killer katsudon recipe and knitting projects.
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    This is great. It's hilarious. There's so many good gags. But I think my favorite is the noise complaint that the hotel Mitsuki and Inko are staying at files because a drunk Inko is screaming about how she's ruined everything. Perfection.

    You're on the list!

    How the Other Half Gives


    shabu_zen


    It's no secret that some of the kids in class 1-A are loaded. But when everyone's wearing the same uniforms, sitting at the same desks, it can be easy to forget that. Until it's suddenly not.

    OR: 5 times Yaoyorozu/Iida/Todoroki accidentally flexed how rich they are via their gift giving, and 1 time one of them totally splurged on purpose, just to make a statement.
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    This is the kind of rich kid content I want to see on my dash: just the rich kids being obliviously generous in their gift-giving because they have no idea what the value of money is for normal people. Why? Because this is my "if I was a rich person" fantasy. Just showering my friends with expensive but thoughtful gifts.

    And, in the case of the last entry, being fucking petty.

    You're on the list!

    I Was Staring At The Sky, Just Looking For a Star


    anexfti


    The bear finally gave up and ran off, allowing Izuku to force himself up, wounds twisting painfully, to finally catch a look at its would-be-prey and..

    What is that?
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    As annoyed as I am by the fic blueballing me on the actual aliens part, I do appreciate it for that rarer-than-hen's-teeth part of it: actual Izuku-
    Hisashi father-son bonding. You would not believe how rare this is, and it's clear Hisashi does care for Izuku.

    You're on the list, and I'll cross my fingers for an update.

    Crash Landing


    QueNouilleCroustillante


    Beady front-facing eyes, sunken in their orbits, start scanning the clearing in intelligent hunger, the tiny irises making it obvious where it moves its eyes. Shouta freezes, hoping it can only see movement, but his prayers go unanswered when its gaze immediately lands on him, taking in his injured form. He lets out a hiss, warning the thing to back off. It only tilts its head, eyes still stuck on him. The fur on its head stands up straight, bright purple in warning. Beware. Venomous.

    Or

    Shouta's shuttle crashes on a dwarf planet. Unfortunately, he's injured with no way to contact Hizashi. Even more unfortunate, there's something stalking him through the forest.
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    Okay, this one I like. Aizawa's complete lack of knowledge of what a human looks like works to the fic's advantage - it makes Hitoshi decidedly terrifying from his eyes, and the story really plays up the horror angle. I do wonder how Aizawa can't have realized that Hitoshi is sapient, but I choose to blame the injuries.

    And the author's note that reveals that Hitoshi was playing dumb to get off the planet... priceless.

    You're on the list.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Sailor Moon: Millennials
  • Threadmarks
    • Sailor Moon: Millennials by Mechawizard

    A reposting of a long-lost classic of Sailor Moon fanfiction. Originally written by The High Judge.
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    This is some good shit.

    This is exactly what I want out of Sailor Moon fanfiction. It's basically another season of Sailor Moon, everyone a little older and wiser. Atlantis has returned from its sealing, Pluto has been depowered, rendered amnesiac, and literally crash-landed into the Mizuno house, and Usagi's pregnancy has everyone on edge. The plot spirals out from there, acquiring complexity while alternating between its main stuff and exploration of the characters.

    And this is the good kind of complexity. Every single faction added makes sense to be added. Besides Atlantis, we have one of their creations going rogue; a shady government organization is poking around; and one of the senshi has a traditional mage after them out of some sort of narcissistic grudge1​. All of these factions have their own goals and are in some way fumbling around with a lack of resources and information, forcing them to act slowly and carefully as they gather both. Atlantis doesn't even realizing they're dealing with Senshi until the latest chapter.

    The result is a slow-burn kind of pacing, and again, the good kind. Every scene is advancing something, whether that's character arcs/dynamics, some more Silver Millennium lore, or the main plot. The beats in between the action are filled with the kind of slice-of-life stuff that's half the reason Sailor Moon was so popular in the first place. It's very original flavor, is what I'm saying.

    And the character dynamics, my goodness. We get all sorts of new takes on the characters, somewhat from the plot but mostly from the passage of time. For the former, by far my favorite subplot is Ami having to live with Makoto after her house got wrecked by a monster attack. The two get on each other's nerves immediately, a hilarious but logical outcome for two of the more easygoing Senshi, and a pair the fandom likes to ship.

    But yeah, the passage of time has had a positive effect on, well, almost everybody. Usagi's no straight-A student, but she's not the hopeless case academically she was early in her career, and she puts on the authority voice quite well in a few spots. Haruka and Michiru are clearly softening, and my goodness I love their relationship as it's depicted. Usagi Junior is so much more tolerable at 13 than 9, especially since she can now contribute in a fight2​.

    And then, right at the very end, the Senshi are all scattered across time. I am fucking feral to know where this was going to go, and dammitall, I'll never find out, because this version is a repost of the original and by all accounts JudgeKing has been gone from the internet most of this millennium.

    You're on the list!

    1. As a side note, this is a really good concept for a secondary antagonist in a magical girl story.
    2. Her complaints about first the accuracy and then the hitting power of her Moon Tiara Action are great.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • CV12Hornet said:
    I am fucking feral to know where this was going to go, and dammitall, I'll never find out, because this version is a repost of the original and by all accounts JudgeKing has been gone from the internet most of this millennium.
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    Ah, Uh... I have good news and bad news.

    Good news: I have more of this. This repost cuts off at Chapter 10, and I have up to Chapter 33 saved in fucking HTML format. That saved fanfic folder has just been carted around with all my backups of my various hard drives over the last twenty-odd years.

    Bad news: It's still unfinished. So you'll get another hit, but you'll still be jonesing.

    EDIT: I guess I should try to reformat this into an EPUB for readability.

    EDIT2: Unecessary, apparently a full repost is on AO3 on an orphan account, and the original is still on the Wayback Machine. These versions even have the nice headers and section dividers.
     
    Last edited:
    Looks like there's also a reupload up to chapter 33 on Ao3. The original site is also archived on the Wayback Machine. Chapter 33 is where the original story seems to have died, though, so there's no hope of finding more than that.
     
    Dakkaface said:
    Ah, Uh... I have good news and bad news.

    Good news: I have more of this. This repost cuts off at Chapter 10, and I have up to Chapter 33 saved in fucking HTML format. That saved fanfic folder has just been carted around with all my backups of my various hard drives over the last twenty-odd years.

    Bad news: It's still unfinished. So you'll get another hit, but you'll still be jonesing.

    EDIT: I guess I should try to reformat this into an EPUB for readability.

    EDIT2: Unecessary, apparently a full repost is on AO3 on an orphan account, and the original is still on the Wayback Machine. These versions even have the nice headers and section dividers.
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    Quine said:
    Looks like there's also a reupload up to chapter 33 on Ao3. The original site is also archived on the Wayback Machine. Chapter 33 is where the original story seems to have died, though, so there's no hope of finding more than that.
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    OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

    (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

    OKAY, I'M GOING TO READ THE REST OF THIS AND SEE IF MY OPINION CHANGES BUT I DON'T EXPECT IT TO. WHOO!
     
    Damn. You know a fic made an impression when several different people archive/reupload it on different platforms seemingly independently of each other.
     
    Dakkaface said:
    EDIT2: Unecessary, apparently a full repost is on AO3 on an orphan account, and the original is still on the Wayback Machine. These versions even have the nice headers and section dividers.
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    Ao3's orphan_account is basically an admin account for works that are no longer linked to their original author. So if you published something but don't like it anymore, or if you reupload someone else's work and don't want people thinking it's yours, you can orphan it, which leaves it on the site but disassociates it from being yours. It's a neat bit of media preservation.
     
    Babylon 5: A Fighting Chance + I Don't Need Chakra to Win!
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    • Babylon 5: A Fighting Chance [Minbari War AU]

    By: Lightning Count

    I have my gripes with Lightning Count's writing style. While certainly better than in his Dilgar War days, he's still prone to rambling run-on sentences, his word choice is sometimes baffling, and his dialogue flows like solid coal. The latter is not helped by the fact that he lacks dialogue tags and between-dialogue descriptions. Many of his dialogue scenes cry out for something to slow down the events, give us more insight into the characters, just breathe.

    But somehow, it doesn't impact my ability to read the fic, and so I can just sit back and enjoy the space battles. Seriously, you have no idea how starved I am for good space battles, I haven't gotten any since I reread Interregnum last Thanksgiving. And Lightning Count delivers. One mark of a good battle is that in-universe and out there's a point to it. All the fights have a reason to be fought on at least one side, are serving some sort of greater objective. Branmer's deep strike against Earth is a master class in this - he's laser-focused on his objectives and those objectives are not the normal "kill all ships" slugging matches you so often see.

    And the Dilgar. Oh, the Dilgar. This fic's point of divergence happens during the Dilgar War, one that allows the Dilgar Imperium to survive and start to claw its way back up after the catastrophic loss of manpower and industry in both the war and the destruction of Omelos. They provide the EA with the sensor tech needed to break Minbari stealth, giving them the titled fighting chance.

    And they have Jha'Dur.

    Jha'Dur is in fine form in this one. She's downright funny, sometimes. It's telling that the most noticeable changes Lightning Count made were to the Jha'Dur scenes, I think he likes writing her and it shows. She still needles people for her own enjoyment, she's still an irredeemable monster and one of the best fleet commanders of her era - and Lightning Count also makes sure to catch her flatfooted a few times. She's damn fun to read, but you also never forget this is an unholy fusion of Mengele and Genghis Khan.

    Point being: great fic, love it. You're on the list.

    I Don't Need Chakra To Win!

    By: SuperApplePie

    Travelling the world after saving it, Naruto accidentally manages to transport himself to Fuyuki City. Not only that, but Naruto being Naruto has managed to get himself into an incredibly troublesome situation. Namely the Fifth Holy Grail War. Forced to fight in a war without access to his chakra, Naruto will be forced to use all his wits and skills to survive. Pairings undecided.
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    There's a good idea behind this fic. Putting post-war Naruto in a Holy Grail War unnerfed would render everyone irrelevant. Removing his chakra abilities leaves him not helpless, still with his skills and wits, but definitely not someone who can solo the whole thing. I remember some good parts later on.

    But man, that second chapter just does not land right at all. Kurama feels way too hostile. Naruto is even more scatterbrained and shouty than normal. It's a pretty insufferable combination, and the doctor coming to talk to Naruto having a Western last name was the last straw. My brother in Christ, Google is right there, google Japanese names.

    You're not on the list. Fuck off and die.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • I presume the name doesn't even have the decency to be one of Type Moon's ridiculous 'western' names like Scandinavia Peperoncio?:V
     
    Grue said:
    I presume the name doesn't even have the decency to be one of Type Moon's ridiculous 'western' names like Scandinavia Peperoncio?:V
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    Why did you choose the one name that even in story is noted to be obviously fake? Any of the other crypters would have worked far better. For example we have such shining examples of regular old western names such as : Kadoc Zemlupus, Ophelia Phamrsolone, Kirschtaria Wodime, Beryl Gut, and Daybit Sem Void
     
    As far as i know, if someone moves to Japan, they don't have to get their name changed, or name their children differently..
     
    nkd1325 said:
    Why did you choose the one name that even in story is noted to be obviously fake? Any of the other crypters would have worked far better. For example we have such shining examples of regular old western names such as : Kadoc Zemlupus, Ophelia Phamrsolone, Kirschtaria Wodime, Beryl Gut, and Daybit Sem Void
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    The fact that Scandinavia's name specifically is called out as obviously fake when his teammates have those as their actual real ass names is a great piece of unintentional comedy.
     
    Krazyfan1 said:
    As far as i know, if someone moves to Japan, they don't have to get their name changed, or name their children differently..
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    Sure, but what are the odds that Naruto runs into one of the handful of doctors in the country who is either an immigrant or descended from one? If it was the US that would be one thing, the US gets more immigrants than basically anywhere else in the world, but Japan is generally less welcoming on that front.
     
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