(Obligatory mention of the story "Stargate Physics 101" by DrMacIver...)
And then there might be other reasons for why some of their stuff works that way.



"Oh, uh. I think that might cause the Stargate to explode."

I got really tired of saying that within about three days of working with Temit.

Yes, its a really great snippet XDDDD

EDIT:

Disclaimer:

No planets were damaged while designing this thing.

No planets were destroyed while designing this thing.


No galaxy was destroyed while designing this thing.

"We've nailed this!"

"Only because I warned you about what happened if you dropped an active stargate into a sun!"

"But it wasn't destroyed, after all!"

XDDD
 
Last edited:
When you consider the number of potentially apocalyptic bugs that SG1 figured out (and often then exploited the shit out of) regarding Stargates, that little short-story becomes rather plausible despite the canon inaccuracies.

Stargates: Perfectly safe 99.99% of the time, will kill you and your entire planet (at least) the last 0.01% of the time.

Welcome to Alteran Technology. :V


It is frankly alarming the number of times SG1's problem of the week was 'we did something unexpected with the Stargate and now if we don't figure out how to stop this it will blow up the Earth.'

Hell I'm pretty sure there was even at least one time when the problem was 'if we don't figure out how to stop the technobabble, literally every Stargate in the galaxy will go off like a supernova and kill us all.'

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE QUALITY CONTROL!
 
Last edited:
My personal headcanon for the Ancients is that they did in fact clean up after themselves. But since they had been doing so many things over the entire galaxy, a few minor things was overlooked.
 
Last edited:
My personal headcanon for the Ancients is that they did in fact clean up after themselves. But since thei had been doing so many things over the entire galaxy, a few minor things was overlooked.
In a few cases (like the galactic terraformer), I think they ignored them because it wouldnt do anything without a "key" or critical part they did take with them. Unfortunately, one of them later gave said keys/parts to someone less responsible/evil.
 
It's against their rules to interfer in physical world. If i remember right they didn't do anything when ori invaded.
I may be mistaken it's been awhile since i watched sg1
Its called resetting the board after some asshole flips it. Its fine for them to not want to influence less advanced races, but Im talking about dealing with a galactic extinction event again.
 
Its called resetting the board after some asshole flips it. Its fine for them to not want to influence less advanced races, but Im talking about dealing with a galactic extinction event again.
What can ya say? The (once-they-Ascended) Alterans are complete hypocrites; they strictly adhere to non-interference with mortals, but are either unwilling (or somewhat more charitably, unable) to enforce the same restrictions upon their former 'cousins'.
 
Last edited:
Its called resetting the board after some asshole flips it. Its fine for them to not want to influence less advanced races, but Im talking about dealing with a galactic extinction event again.
Heck once there are no less advanced races (or races, or even life at all) left in the galaxy, there's nobody to interfere with. Then it's time to plant some more pine trees!
 
Woo, glad to see a new update. Needed something to take my mind off election bullshit, so since you fixed up some earlier chapters, might as well do it with a reread :p
 
When you consider the number of potentially apocalyptic bugs that SG1 figured out (and often then exploited the shit out of) regarding Stargates, that little short-story becomes rather plausible despite the canon inaccuracies.

Stargates: Perfectly safe 99.99% of the time, will kill you and your entire planet (at least) the last 0.01% of the time.

Welcome to Alteran Technology. :V


It is frankly alarming the number of times SG1's problem of the week was 'we did something unexpected with the Stargate and now if we don't figure out how to stop this it will blow up the Earth.'

Hell I'm pretty sure there was even at least one time when the problem was 'if we don't figure out how to stop the technobabble, literally every Stargate in the galaxy will go off like a supernova and kill us all.'

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE QUALITY CONTROL!

Well, to be perfectly honest about it, the main reason Stargate Command had all those problems with the Earth Gate was because they hacked the shit out of it. They didn't have a DHD so they had to make one using 1990s era technology and interface it with an advanced artifact they didn't understand.

The reason they could only contact Abydos in the beginning, even though they had other addresses? Because Abydos was nearby enough that stellar drift hadn't changed the coordinates too much for the connection to be established. When they figured that out and started compensating for it, something the DHD would have done by itself, they were able to dial other gates.

Remember the episode where they travel through a star and contaminated it with heavy metals? Yeah, even in the episode it's remarked that they had to disable a safety check in order to even dial the gate.

The Earth gate is jailbroken, hacked, and has probably 90% of it's safety systems bypassed just to function. It's honestly surprising they didn't have more issues!
 
My personal headcanon for the Ancients is that they did in fact clean up after themselves. But since they had been doing so many things over the entire galaxy, a few minor things was overlooked.
There's a rather distinct difference between milky way ancients and pegasus ancients here; the milky way ancients were more or less decent about it; if they did leave something behind, they either documented it in painstaking detail or set it up so that by all rights people who would be hurt by it couldn't use it - like the archives, which were reliant on the ATA gene to activate. The rest of the issues were mostly megalomaniacal brain-snakes sticking their noses where they didn't belong and fiddling, or because they fled the galaxy with their tails between their legs because, y'know, plague.

The lanteans, meanwhile, had Janus, lost a war to beings that weren't even sapient before they arrived, and promptly had relations with the local primates when they returned to earth, giving humanity the ATA gene and foiling previously pretty decent safety measures.

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE QUALITY CONTROL!

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL USING THAT KITBASHED CONTROL SYSTEM, MANUALLY DIALING IS FOR EMERGENCIES NOT PRIMARY USE!"

Because IIRC most of humanity's problems with the gates arose from using the emergency control method as their main way of dialing even after by all rights they should have been able to switch to something that had the needed safeties, either an appropriated DHD early on or a system of their own construction later.
 
The Tauri dialing system is the Arch Linux of Stargate dialing systems.
 
What can ya say? The (once-they-Ascended) Alterans are complete hypocrites; they strictly adhere to non-interference with mortals, but are either unwilling (or somewhat more charitably, unable) to enforce the same restrictions upon their former 'cousins'.
Unable, the reason the Alterans fled the Ori in the first place is because the Ori were the more powerful faction. The thing about being Ascended is that despite claims to the contrary, Ascended beings are totally small-g gods and actually gain power from being worshiped. So the Ori were all bloated on faith energy and the Alterans weren't and thus couldn't match the Ori in magic fight times.


So back when the original Ancients discovered Ascension they split into two factions; the Alteran faction who decided that this Ascension thing was a great way to ponder the deeper mysteries of the universe without being bothered, and the Ori who decided that this Ascension thing was a great way to BECOME GODS AND CONQUER ALL OF REALITY MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The Alteran faction were then all 'no you can't do that its bad and you're lying to your worshipers about Origin because you're not actually taking their souls to heaven at all' and the Ori responded with 'FUCKING TRY TO STOP US NOOBS', followed by the Alterans doing what they always did when confronted with a difficult problem; they ran the fuck away and hid.

Their shame over the Ori is also why the Alterans enforce their ridiculously hypocritical 'no interference' laws; because they're afraid that they'll end up going down the same path if they're allowed to mess with mortals.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL USING THAT KITBASHED CONTROL SYSTEM, MANUALLY DIALING IS FOR EMERGENCIES NOT PRIMARY USE!"

Because IIRC most of humanity's problems with the gates arose from using the emergency control method as their main way of dialing even after by all rights they should have been able to switch to something that had the needed safeties, either an appropriated DHD early on or a system of their own construction later.
Some of them were yeah; while Stargates are fully functional on their own, apparently all the (relatively few) safety measures are stored in the DHD, and as the SGC gate doesn't have a DHD and is instead effectively hotwired and jailbroken with kitbashed human tech, it can and does do things that it shouldn't be able to.

But there were more than a few issues that cropped up with any Stargate, with or without a DHD, like the trick where you run a wormhole through a star at the exact same moment that the star goes supernova and this somehow causes the wormhole to connect to the past and time-travel its passengers.


e: I think the 'oops we accidentally dialed into a Stargate that is in the process of falling into a black hole and now the time dilation and gravity waves are ruining everything and will eventually kill us all' problem was DHD independent too.
 
Last edited:
It could be worse.

Knowing the date of the start of the SG project, they could be using WINDOWS Millennium to dial ...

And if that's not scarier than a fleet of Ori warships I don't know what it is!

:p
You have to take into account the military adoption lag. The entirety of Stargate franchise would've been on Win95 for at least the first half of it.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL USING THAT KITBASHED CONTROL SYSTEM, MANUALLY DIALING IS FOR EMERGENCIES NOT PRIMARY USE!"

Because IIRC most of humanity's problems with the gates arose from using the emergency control method as their main way of dialing even after by all rights they should have been able to switch to something that had the needed safeties, either an appropriated DHD early on or a system of their own construction later.

Do you have any idea how anti-pattern putting the safety and firewalls not in the server but in the client terminal is? Just that alone is exploitable as all hell.
 
Last edited:
Do you have any idea how anti-pattern putting the safety and firewalls not in the server but in the client terminal is? Just that alone is exploitable as all hell.
I think its more like they put them in the phone/routing device rather than the actual landline. The only real problem I have with their setup is that they didnt make the DD an integrated part, though that could have been a result of them deciding that the actual gates were as good at their jobs (opening a hole between 2 points) as they could be and wanted to work on the targetting method without needing to replace the whole network (you can dial a gate without a DD on the recieving end, so you can go and swap controllers without a problem) every time they made a change.
 
You have to take into account the military adoption lag. The entirety of Stargate franchise would've been on Win95 for at least the first half of it.
On a somewhat less-silly note, wouldn't the likes of Samantha Carter have written up the DHD's (and/or the SGC's as-a-whole) OS(es) from scratch, to the point that only she and/or personally-trained assistants would have been able to maintain/debug/update them?
 
On a somewhat less-silly note, wouldn't the likes of Samantha Carter have written up the DHD's (and/or the SGC's as-a-whole) OS(es) from scratch, to the point that only she and/or personally-trained assistants would have been able to maintain/debug/update them?
Samy was only one of many specialists that worked on Earth's DHD system.
And they were at is since sometime after Littlefields disappearance in 45'.
 
On a somewhat less-silly note, wouldn't the likes of Samantha Carter have written up the DHD's (and/or the SGC's as-a-whole) OS(es) from scratch, to the point that only she and/or personally-trained assistants would have been able to maintain/debug/update them?
If you look back you'll recall that it was a supercomputer/mainframe that was running the SGC's GateDialer program.

Which means it's a UNIX.
 
Samantha Carter canonically lead and was the primary developer of the team that wrote the SGC's dialing system.
 
Back
Top