Maybe thoughts of Alteran mad science and/or Janus?
Ancient Legos [Worm/Stargate]
- Thread starter TCGM
- Start date
- Sci-Fi Crossover Superhero
Neruz
Rogue Spiderbanana
- Location
- The Land of Fire and Poison
If she isn't terrified of Alteran mad science then she doesn't know enough about Alteran mad science.
These are the same people who constructed a fully functional time travel machine and just left it lying around for anyone to use.
The Alterans are the goddamn poster child for 'Neglectful Precursors'.
Toskin
Bookworm Extraordinaire
- Location
- Earth - Solar system - Local cluster
According to TC himself, as soon Weldon Ascends, Scion and Eden together wouldn't be able to even slow him down.probably some variation of 'meh i can take him'
DualEquinox
Verified Smartass
- Location
- Australia
"So they're like really shitty, inefficient, brain-damaged replicators that went Multiversal then..?"
- Location
- Salt Lake City, UT, USA
To be fair, that was a criminal act which had been expressly forbidden.
As was the Attero Device.
The Dakara superweapon, capable of simultaneously deleting all life in the galaxy? That they did leave laying around on purpose. And didn't even think of as a weapon. (In their defense, it was basically a Genesis Device. Some joker having left the "pine tree" spawn rate at like 5,000%.)
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Jim Starluck
CO, ICS Vanguard
- Location
- Cincinnati, OH
So that's why 99% of planets in the SG Milky Way look like Canada!
- Location
- Planet Earth
Finally! Been waiting for a new chapter for forever.
Mr. Cloak
Orchestrator of Paradoxical Apocalypse
- Pronouns
- I
Just checked the dictionary- under Alteran it gives the following:
See "neglect(ful)"
See "precursor"
See "ancient dumbasses"
- Location
- Salt Lake City, UT, USA
No joke, this was literally discussed in the show. 99%+ of the habitable planets were made that way by the Dakara Device and that's why they all look so similar ecologically.
There's also a Dakara Device in the Pegasus Galaxy, and that time they used to to also spread human bioplans. Iratus bugs being affected by this are what created the first Wraith. All because the Lanteans couldn't be assed to have quality controls on their galactic terraformer.
LostArchivist
Sane, unfortunately.
- Location
- The State of Confusion
Ah yes, I've missed this story.
As a side note, I can totally see how the Alterans were that dumb. Mostly because Weldon is making just a few of the same mistakes...
"Oops, forgot about that field on my ship... again."
I wonder how badly the Alexandria Incident is going to fall out? On one hand, he doesn't know she's also the Director, but because he doesn't know that, the end result is that she'll probably have to tell him anyway because he just buggered up her ability to change costumes. Oops.
Unless she thinks this was a plot to catch her off guard... which isn't helped by the fact that she's now locked in a shielded room...
As a side note, I can totally see how the Alterans were that dumb. Mostly because Weldon is making just a few of the same mistakes...
"Oops, forgot about that field on my ship... again."
I wonder how badly the Alexandria Incident is going to fall out? On one hand, he doesn't know she's also the Director, but because he doesn't know that, the end result is that she'll probably have to tell him anyway because he just buggered up her ability to change costumes. Oops.
Unless she thinks this was a plot to catch her off guard... which isn't helped by the fact that she's now locked in a shielded room...
- Location
- Neptune
They are human after all.
- Location
- Salt Lake City, UT, USA
Ah yes, I've missed this story.
As a side note, I can totally see how the Alterans were that dumb. Mostly because Weldon is making just a few of the same mistakes...
"Oops, forgot about that field on my ship... again."
I wonder how badly the Alexandria Incident is going to fall out? On one hand, he doesn't know she's also the Director, but because he doesn't know that, the end result is that she'll probably have to tell him anyway because he just buggered up her ability to change costumes. Oops.
Unless she thinks this was a plot to catch her off guard... which isn't helped by the fact that she's now locked in a shielded room...
I mean, she just has to fly off and then "Door Me" while in mid-flight. At supersonic speeds.
Not that this would help her avoid transtellar realtime sensors aboard the Hyperion ... but she doesn't know about that either, yet.
Can't trust humans with anything. I swear.
- Location
- Software
They are not that ba-
OK, they were awful mad scientists.
"Hey! It had 12 Million years of Guarantee! And we used it only after 52 Million years! It should be in pristine condition!"
... the sad thing is, after seeing Destiny, they actually had good reasons to expect the Dakara device to work as designed...
Insane bunch.
JoshuaSweetvale
Insectovore
- Location
- NL, 65 Million Years Ago
So you gave Alexandria a... widget...
That could hold her mind...
While her body remains mindless.
So you turned Alexandria into a Puella Magia.
A lich.
Or rather; her Shard did that, you just made it jamming-proof. Only thing worse than the zero idiotproofing on Alteran tech: Entity decision-making firmware.
That could hold her mind...
While her body remains mindless.
So you turned Alexandria into a Puella Magia.
A lich.
Or rather; her Shard did that, you just made it jamming-proof. Only thing worse than the zero idiotproofing on Alteran tech: Entity decision-making firmware.
Nah. Humans are genetic engineered post-alterans, with vastly increase easy of regeneration and ability to derive a wisdom stat worth a damn.
And like most of the Alterans/Ancient's crazy super-advanced leftovers; Humanity has broken a pile of shit.
A quote from SDN which really nails the problems with the Stargate setting.
Ender said:
JME2 said:
The problem for everyone else, Alterans/Ancients who are a race of Sparks with FTL-capable city-ships capable of outrunning virtually all their problems. Often problems induced by their own technology
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TimeDiver
Herald of Dis Lev
- Location
- In-between the parallel worlds...
Up to and including really poor (in hindsight, granted) decisions... such as declining to use the Ark of Truth to pre-emptively nudge (okay, brainwash) key figures among the Ori into, y'know, being (more) rational, non-power drunk zealots.
Neruz
Rogue Spiderbanana
- Location
- The Land of Fire and Poison
Yep!
I'm not even joking, that is actually canon; the Dakara Superweapon is a planetary scale (galactic scale when channeled through the Stargates) terraformer that the Ancients used to recreate the precursors to all current life in the Milky Way, after the entire galaxy was literally scourged of life around 5 - 10 million years ago by a virulent plague created by Amara, an Alteran who somehow got into contact with the Doci of the Ori and became a believer in Origin. She thought that the plague was intended to wipe out the unbelievers and return the Ancients to the Ori, but in fact it was an indiscriminate and omnicidal 'kill literally everything' weapon intended by the Ori to annihilate the Ancients entirely.
In an attempt to avert disaster, the Ancients created the Time-Loop Machine in order to go back and change their own past, stopping the plague before it could begin. Unfortunately they could never get the Time-Loop Machine to work properly and so eventually gave up and turned to escaping the plague, either through Ascension or by fleeing to the Pegasus galaxy in the City-Ship Atlantis.
After Ascending, the plague burned through the galaxy and left it a lifeless husk, so one or more of the Ancients (exactly who is unclear) temporarily descended and constructed the Dakara Superweapon, using it to restore life to the galaxy.
Except, as @Logos01 said, apparently some joker on the design team decided to set the 'Flora' function to 'Pine trees for days' and as a result basically every planet with a Stargate was terraformed into Canada.
Now, the way the Dakara Superweapon worked was by releasing a self-propagating disruptor wave (the same kind of disruptor wave used by the Replicator Disruptor that Jack built after sticking his head into an Ancient Archive the second time) that reduced all matter in its path down to basic molecular structures, and then reconstructing the broken down matter into something new.
And because the Ancients are idiots, it never occurred to them that someone could change the device's programming so that it stopped after the deconstruction step and never bothered with the reconstruction step, or that anyone would ever use the machine on a living galaxy; why would someone want to destroy the galaxy? That's stupid.
(Anubis: Hi there! I'm stupid!)
Yeeep.
Basically 99% of the problems in the Stargate setting are directly or indirectly the Ancients fault and could have been easily averted if the Ancients had ever bothered to clean up after themselves.
This comic pretty much sums up the Ancients in a nutshell:
Honestly, the Alterans make the average human look positively responsible.
The Dakara Superweapon worked exactly as designed; in fact Ancient tech in general always works exactly as designed. The problem is that there's never anything to prevent Some Asshole from misusing said technology, and then when, say, a species of parasitic brain-snakes discovers a cache of Ancient tech and makes a bunch of cheap-ass knockoffs which they then use to conquer and enslave the galaxy, the Ancients go 'well that's not our problem' and go back to contemplating the mysteries of the universe.
Another example; Ancient Archives were designed to interface with a mind and download knowledge into it, this works perfectly, except for the slight minor issue that the Archives have no safeties to check if the mind they are downloading into is actually capable of withstanding all that knowledge without going mad and dying. So if anyone who isn't an Ancient sticks their head in an Archive, it promptly latches on and fills their mind with so much stuff that it fairly quickly burns out.
The thing about the Alterans is that they basically couldn't comprehend the idea that anyone could ever not know what they were doing, they just sort of inherently assumed that everyone was a genius savant like themselves and would never misuse anything.
So their tech is all insanely robust, designed to last forever and be stupid easy to use by anyone, but with literally no safeguards anywhere because why would someone stand in front of an opening Stargate? That's dumb, you're just going to get disintegrated, don't do that, jeez.
And then when their neglect for proper OSHA compliance eventually caught up with them, rather than fixing their shit, they just ran away to another galaxy or a higher dimension and never looked back.
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Tisaku
Head Chief Thinkomancer
gritted
electrons
forty
tubes
sonic booms
fares
likely
Roscosmos
Mum
orders of magnitude
Alright
I
LostArchivist
Sane, unfortunately.
- Location
- The State of Confusion
(Obligatory mention of the story "Stargate Physics 101" by DrMacIver...)
And then there might be other reasons for why some of their stuff works that way.
And then there might be other reasons for why some of their stuff works that way.
Thank you! I was trying to remember the title so I could mention it!
- Location
- Neptune
You've never worked in quality control.
Neruz
Rogue Spiderbanana
- Location
- The Land of Fire and Poison
I did say that they make the average human look responsible.
I very explicitly did not say that they make the worst humans look responsible.
- Location
- Neptune
You never worked in quality control. Your average is a lot higher than mine.I did say that they make the average human look responsible.
I very explicitly did not say that they make the worst humans look responsible.
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Averages
Neruz
Rogue Spiderbanana
- Location
- The Land of Fire and Poison
Hey. Don't be like that.
The average human, when confronted with a sign saying "DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE" hanging off an electric fence, does not lick the fence to see what happens.
The average Alteran on the other hand would probably whip up a pocket fusion generator from two paperclips, an old tin can and a pile of grass and hook it into the fence, because they felt that the sign was wrong and that the voltage was at best lower-mid-range.