"What's your life like?"
It wasn't entirely clear who asked it. It could have been you, or I could have. I was up front, so I decided to go first, to keep talking.
"It's strange," I explained. "It's all very new. Until about two years ago, I was in a modal. It's an isolated simulation for training machines. My father called it kindergarten. Living the same day, every day, learning how the world works. How to be me."
I sensed you had many questions, many you wouldn't speak but couldn't help but think.
"My father made a copy of his code, which included simplified markers a lot like DNA, and worked with another program to create the algorithm that would become me. It's hard to say how long that was for me, the simulation ran at a much higher clock speed. Perhaps eight months in subjective human time, but it felt like… forever."
You were still so confused. Why the Librarian had created her in the first place? The machines only cared about efficiency, what purpose did she serve? Why was she created?
"Because he wanted to," I said simply. "My father's job is to sort through people's memories and make sure everything is consistent. He seen so many lifetimes of the worst the Matrix can do to humans, which is why he helps you. But he's also seen the best and brightest moments of people's lives, and he wanted somebody else to see them too."
I paused, considering my words. Thinking about how I would say it, if this were a book.
"My purpose is to live." You didn't know how to respond to that, so I kept talking. "What about you? What's your purpose?"
I let my control slip, giving you a chance to come back to the front. It was an uncomfortable sensation, like having to push past one another to change seats in a cramped car. Finally, though, you felt centred, grounded again in your own thoughts, in control of yourself. You took a sip of tea to prove it.
"It's strange," you said quietly. "It's all very new. Before… it was like being crushed, all the time. Every day felt the same, staring at a screen, rooting out bugs, feeling the life draining out of me. And then… and then I was free."
I didn't have any method to physically signal that I was listening, so I did my best to convey the idea in thought.
"Life outside is… it's cold. The food is terrible. There's not much to do. I help keep the ship running but it mostly runs itself. Most days I just… plug in, run training programs, or just… sit. Wait. Wait to come back to the Matrix."
I couldn't help but find that less satifying than I wanted. I'd never seen it, I could never see it, but in my imagination, the real world was always… bigger, brighter, more than the simulations I'd called home. I could only compare it to the theologians I'd read, trying to imagine Heaven. I didn't want it to be cold.
"Oh, but Its got its upsides," you continued. "Seeing my real body, being my real self, I… I can't begin to express how much it means to me. I look in the little cracked mirror I found and I can't believe that's really me. It's like… like I won the lottery."
I knew I didn't know what that was like, how to even begin to bridge that gap. So I just listened.
"Waking up is supposed to be… horror. Finding out it was all fake, that none of it mattered. Chrysie said people have panic attacks, throw up, beg to wake up, or to be put back to sleep. But for me… no. I think everyone has an impossible wish, something they know can't happen but they want more than anything, you know? And… God, I almost feel sorry for other people, 'cause they're never going to get their wish."
While I didn't understand, I could feel the swell of emotions, the chemical processes rushing through our shared brain as you confessed to that. But I did understand the wish, at least.
You pulled off your sunglasses, and I set them down gently on the table.
"Impossible wishes, huh?" I asked, leaning back into the chair. I couldn't help but smile, compelled by the neurological processes I'd never been this close to before. "I think you're right. Mine…" I sighed, the chemicals changing as my emotions took prominance. You couldn't help but find feeling somebody else's feelings distinctly disturbing. "Do you know what it's like, to know that every thought you ever had was stolen from somebody else?"
You couldn't even fathom. You almost felt the question should be offensive to you, as one of the people having your thoughts stolen.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I worry, a lot, because I want things to be better, I want humans to be free, I want the Machine destroyed, I don't want to take from anyone else. But… I want to fulfil my purpose, too. I want to live. And not just survive, not just as a… nothing program on silicon chips, barely self-aware, just a
thing. It's not a level of survival I'm willing to accept."
"So if you want impossible wishes, I wish I could have both," I concluded, my voice breaking just a little. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down."
You didn't know how to respond to that. It gave you a lot to think about.
"Hey, you can have control again," I said quietly. "Um… you already got one wish. Do you have another?"
---
Welcome to the Paths. The Paths are how your character advances now, they give you goals and character motivation, as well as powers. Paths are not locked in forever, they're something you can change with a little work.
[ ] I want to strike back against the machine that stole my life. I want to get even. (Path of Vengence, a path that gives experience points for breakin' stuff, taking out foes, and being a little ruthless.)
[ ] I want mastery over myself and the Matrix. I don't want a computer telling me what is and isn't possible anymore. (Path of Enlightenment, a path that gives XP for disconnecting, rising to impossible challenges,
[ ] I want to help the Resistance win, to destroy the Machine. Set people free. (Path of Resistance, which gives you faction-based objectives. For now, as you are among Subversives, that will be your faction.)
[ ] I have something I need to find out about the world, and I'm not going to stop until I get answers. (Path of Truth, a path that gives XP for asking questions, finding and helping those with knowledge, and making deals in exchange for information)
-[ ] Write in your Big Question.
I'm still building the Paths, so which you take will help me prioritize. There will be more Paths, but these will be the core generic ones.
Full rules will be posted tomorrow.
