A Matter of Worth (Worm/Mighty Thor, alt-power, DEAD)

[Spoit]

Look, I'm weird and usually am the only one wanting more school stuff. And while I thought the initial bit was a bit over the top, I could hand wave it as a stepping stone to set up your story. But this whole drug thing is really straining my SoD.

I get that you want to show some sense of escalation, having the bullies throw me shit at the wall after what amounts to murder attempts didn't stick. But it's one thing to have them isolate and then torture her, it's quite another to have the it collaborated all the way from the top.

If I might make a suggestion that doesn't really matterially change the set up? Instead of drugs, have them say that they saw Taylor smuggle a weapon into school. That is something that would actually merit an immediate, and proactive response. It would hit the same beats with Blackwell being concerned about Taylor's erratic, delinquent behavior, but even if she was sympathetic to Taylor's situation, an imminent threat to other students isn't something she could brush off lightly. And even if it were just an act, the trio could easily brush it off as something they were genuinely concerned about, better safe than sorry, you know? Hell you could even tie in a minor misunderstanding, and make Taylor freak out a bit about someone seeing her with the hammer.

The thing is, at this point in canon, it really didn't take that much to get her to say "fuck it", and ditch school to go capering about. The juice prank, and then Iirc, just words from Emma, once she was actually with the undersiders? On her end, it really doesn't need an escalation for her to make an excuse to leave.

 

[TheUnicorn]

She and her father had shared a quiet, morose supper. Danny had felt the change in her mood, but didn't know how to address it. So he didn't, and Taylor didn't volunteer. Eventually she'd begged off, claiming tiredness and wanting to do her homework before bed. He'd agreed, and she'd headed straight to her room.

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I almost stopped reading at this point. while I can see the Principal putting on that show of checking Taylor for drugs if one of the Wards asked him to do so(and I'm willing to ignore the issues with Sophia abusing her authority like that when she's supposed to be under probation), not reporting the matter to the parent would open the school to a whole host of liabilities and I believe is also (at least in RL) illegal. You have Taylor's abuse worse (as in less believable) than in canon, and while canon was bad enough it got away with it by not actually showing us the more ridiculous parts, just skimming over it. In contrast you are showing it to us in considerable detail which makes it much harder to suspend disbelief.

Had she been herself, she probably couldn't even have spoken -- she would have been shaking too hard. Instead her voice was strong and confident: "Think ye slayers of children? I say thee nay!"

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Must you? It's not as if there's a shortage of other ways of getting her in a fight with Lung. Keeping the stations of canon is annoying even when, as in this case, the fight is well written.

"Unlikely."

"Don't be ridiculous, Dragon."

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Nice chapter, I liked the interaction with Armsmaster and the scene with Piggot (although I don't think the Wards getting assigned to actually man the consule, as opposed to shadowing whoever is running it makes sense). I think the two quoted lines are very interesting because they're not how someone in RL would react to the suggestion, they react as if it's a very unlikely but quite possible scenario. That has some very interesting implications.

Taylor had wanted to see how high she could fly.

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She's very lucky she doesn't need to breath.

Where the hell was Brockton Bay, anyway?

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LOL!

I liked this chapter, but it felt a little hollow to me. The stations of canon popping up suddenly was a bit of a downer, and it honestly felt like you blew your load a little quickly on the classic Thor lines.

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This.

It would have felt a lot more satisfying if Thorlor had say.... crashed a dogfighting ring and met Hookwolf, and then more and more E88 capes get drawn to into a rolling battle, until Kaiser shows up, and then you drop the "Kaiser, I would have words with thee!" Line. And end the chapter.

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Or have Taylor encounter Lung Seething immediately after the Undersiders robbed him and get into a fight with him - after all this is quite a bit before the start of canon.

I hadn't even planned on writing more Winslow, but apparently that's not good enough.

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No, quite the opposite. I don't think anyone's complained you didn't put enough of Taylor's abuse in Winslow, people are complaining you put TOO MUCH of it.

Also it's been done to death, yeah.

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This. Very much this.

 

[Lotus Eater]

Personally, I enjoy this particular station of canon.

Let's think about what this scene means in a meta sense. In Worm, the Lung fight serves to set the tone for most of the rest of the conflicts. It's terrifying, Taylor is out of her depth and could die at any moment. Then it has consequences like people assuming she's a villain or Lung nearly dying (which is actually really important because it sets a trend of 'invincible' people getting chumped).

In this story, we have a brute fight. Taylor reveals some battle fervor. She demonstrates she's basically playing around with the scariest brute in town. She's willing to admit defeat when the collateral is pointed out to her. She's willing to fucking wreck your day if you won't stop. Basically, she's Thoring all over this scene, even with minimal dialogue. (Later Thor, not early blood knight Thor.)

This is probably one of the better examples of stations of canon within a crossover. It places the AU element within a situation that would happen regardless of the character's actions and demonstrates the differences that come about due to the change enacted.

 

[HereticalZed]

The drug thing seems a bit... much. I'm interested in seeing where it goes. I think what some people are missing is Taylor succumbing to PRIDE here. If she leaves school, the Trio WINS. And that is not acceptable. At this point she doesn't have anyone else to go to anyway, and her capering has only just begun.

Dragon playing devil's advocate was kinda weird. I'd expect her to propose that Taylor's power is some kind of projection mirroring the legend and Taylor ran with it, concluding she'd been chosen or something. Like how Myrrdin insists he's a wizard. Still "crazy" but not a totally irrational crazy.

As for the stations of canon and the Lung fight, it actually makes total sense. Norse mythology and culture had a huge thing about the nature of fate, and how we're bound to face it. Taylor got the hammer BECAUSE of her fate - Odin saw she'd be the savior of the world, and decided to give her a boon to facilitate that and empower her. For all the butterflies that change may bring, some things are going to happen regardless, just slightly altered. Taylor is abused by the trio and the system. Taylor defeats Lung. Etc Etc

This may make for some boring reading but I think that's just a question of personal taste.

 

[Lackofgravitas]

Taylor might find herself outside the US go into Low earth orbit and the world will move beneath you.
She can move fast but without Nav aids its going to take a while to get home

 

[esseresse]

Taylor has a confrontation with Emma, has a sacrificial moment, Danny almost has a big damn hero moment, and Taylor regains the hammer and learns not to let others define her worth. Everyone's happy and awesome and not grimderpy at all

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I for one would love to read this

EDIT: Is The Odindotter going to space going to attract the Ziz, because Comic!Thor is able to ignore or resist mind manipulation from powerful beings before.

 

[hume]

I for one would love to read this

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You just did.

I think I'm done. I don't think my style of writing is compatible with piecemeal releases, especially not if the only thing people want is instant gratification. I'm an asshole for what I've written and what I haven't written simultaneously. I'm also an asshole for having thin skin and objecting to their objections.

 

[Ellf]

You just did.

I think I'm done. I don't think my style of writing is compatible with piecemeal releases, especially not if the only thing people want is instant gratification. I'm an asshole for what I've written and what I haven't written simultaneously. I'm also an asshole for having thin skin and objecting to their objections.

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Honestly? I wouldn't call you an asshole, but I do think you're taking things a little too personally. You've got an interesting story here, but you can't please everyone. The... well, the drug thing might have been a bit much, but that didn't take away from enjoyment of the fic.

You've got 17 pages of comments based on 5 snippets. That's good. That means people enjoy reading your works. The reason people are complaining is because that's what people do.

 

[Pax_Empyrean]

It looks like Thunder God Taylor (T.G. Tay, feared and respected by Nanten and Hokuten alike!) has a minor case of Eidolon syndrome. Hopefully the rebuke about collateral damage will have her thinking twice before she decides to go out and get in a cape fight just to prove to herself that she's not weak, worthless, etc. Channeling her self-esteem issues into kicking Lung's ass is good for society, but probably not too healthy in the long run.

As for the stations of canon, the only time I'm annoyed by a fic visiting the stations of canon is when events have taken place that would logically derail them. As it stands, it's unlikely that anything Taylor had done before the Lung fight would change which way the ball was rolling enough to avoid Lung going after the Undersiders when he did. Her overhearing him right at that point is pretty contrived, but whatever. The important thing with this is that it shows how things are different and sets events off in a different direction.

I think it's funny that this is twice in a week that she's intervened to save Brian. Is that going to be a thing? He keeps getting himself into trouble, only to have his very own deus ex malleus drop in and fix it with some heroic comment delivered in inadvertent early modern English, then away until the next time?

I think I'm done. I don't think my style of writing is compatible with piecemeal releases, especially not if the only thing people want is instant gratification. I'm an asshole for what I've written and what I haven't written simultaneously. I'm also an asshole for having thin skin and objecting to their objections.

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Wait, what? I hope you reconsider. I'm really enjoying this so far, so please don't drop it. I think the stuff with school is good to show that she's not abusing her power even though her situation sucks, which is part of what makes her worthy of Mjolnir in the first place. She then goes and gets into a cape fight to vent, which isn't exactly a great decision but isn't bad writing, and that sets her up with a problem to overcome later. Gives her a way to grow.

 

[Lackofgravitas]

You just did.

I think I'm done. I don't think my style of writing is compatible with piecemeal releases, especially not if the only thing people want is instant gratification. I'm an asshole for what I've written and what I haven't written simultaneously. I'm also an asshole for having thin skin and objecting to their objections.

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this is great story don't let the bastards grind you down this is great continue at your own pace

 

[Darkphoenixlady]

You just did.

I think I'm done. I don't think my style of writing is compatible with piecemeal releases, especially not if the only thing people want is instant gratification. I'm an asshole for what I've written and what I haven't written simultaneously. I'm also an asshole for having thin skin and objecting to their objections.

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If you're not reading it already, can I suggest you have a look at some of the things people have said in Taylor Varga. Basically MPpie has had people complaining left right and centre about what he's doing wrong, to the point that the Mods have stepped in on more than one occasion.

I personally would like to see this story progress, and I hope that you continue it (not that I'm a paragon of finishing fic's if my 2 are anything to go by)

 

[hamof]

You just did.

I think I'm done. I don't think my style of writing is compatible with piecemeal releases, especially not if the only thing people want is instant gratification. I'm an asshole for what I've written and what I haven't written simultaneously. I'm also an asshole for having thin skin and objecting to their objections.

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I agree with most of the people here, you should keep writing. Don't let the morons get you down.

 

[HereticalZed]

To elaborate on the drug thing, I think a big problem with it is that it forces the staff to get involved. The Trio have gotten away with as much as they have because they keep things out of their sight. It's a risky change in MO and breaks pattern. But it could be explained as just Emma getting bolder and more confident that she has the staff wrapped around her little finger. It's something I (at least) can roll with.

As for the negative feedback you've been getting, remember that for every one person running their mouth and acting like they know enough of the big picture to properly critique the latest update you've written, there's a dozen or so people reading and enjoying the story but don't have much to say. Regardless, tell the story you want to tell. Listen to people's feedback and see if it makes sense or helps you. If it doesn't, then just ignore it.

Or go and do something else with your time that's less frustrating, I wouldn't blame you. I'd like to see more of this though.

 

[Guardsman_Sparky]

On the subject of Taylor finding Brockton Bay, it's actually not as hard as you'd think.

For instance, I could theoretically find my way home in Virginia from orbit. I just need to follow the Chesapeake to DC, and from there I just need to follow the street signs.

Taylor's a smart girl, she should be able to find BB. All she needs to do is go to, say, New York and then follow the highway home.

 

[hamof]

All she needs to do is go to, say, New York and then follow the highway home.

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Also, it's not entirely impossible that she'd be able to point it out on a map, which would also allow her to go to it from orbit.

 

[shinkicker444]

For fucks sake. Thanks for killing another story people. Well done.

Really hope you reconsider Brandon.

 

[Thanatos]

More please!
Seriusly though it is one of the more captivating "alt!power taylor" iv read

 

[Pun-chline]

It was God's own taser, wielded by a woman with a hammer.

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Ayy lmao. If only Armsmaster knew how realistic that was.

Also, guys don't flame the author. This might be the first story he's written here, and be a new author. Heaven knows that writing a brand new story takes a lot of time and effort, and the "stations of canon" are easy frameworks to build off of. It helps. And if he isn't, well, not much I can say. Still a decent story.
Another thing, I don't mind the "not showing Winslow that much anymore," mostly because Thorlor is a brand new person with an Alexandria package alongside a high end blaster and puts all that behind her. If he were to suddenly show Winslow, it wouldn't fit as a whole chapter except to show some dastawdly pwotting! from the Trio.

 

[Pun-chline]

okay just stop writing.

The trio is something to be blown past in the first 2-3 chapters.

not fucking focused on like this.

have her snap and destroy the school already or just stop

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I can see why you were permabanned on Spacebattles now. Hey, mods, is his message considered flaming?
Ninjafish, if you don't like, DON'T READ. This is a very clear and obvious rule that should be known to everyone with half a brain cell by now, if you continue reading it's your fault.

 

[esseresse]

You just did.

I think I'm done. I don't think my style of writing is compatible with piecemeal releases, especially not if the only thing people want is instant gratification. I'm an asshole for what I've written and what I haven't written simultaneously. I'm also an asshole for having thin skin and objecting to their objections.

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Please dont stop this has great potential.

 

[kitsune9]

You know it's weird but I didn't have a problem with the school scene. I mean take everything away and what happened. It's school policy to investigate every accusation. They would have searched her locker before they ever called her into her office and when they didn't find anything they called her in to talk. And what happened for all the language she didn't suspend taylor, she didn't even punish her with detention. She called her into the office and gave her the chance to try and defend herself and told her that they needed proof to do anything and then offered her a chance to prove that she was clean. A chance to prove without a doubt that Emma was lying backed up by a doctor. Taylor didn't take it she just took everything and said she wanted to keep going to school. If I was her my very first move would have been to go to the hospital to get that drug test done and then bring the signed note over to Blackwell.

edit: I just wanted to state that no drugs were found; otherwise it would have been mentioned. It was an empty rumor not someone putting drugs in her locker.

 

[BRG]

You just did.

I think I'm done. I don't think my style of writing is compatible with piecemeal releases, especially not if the only thing people want is instant gratification. I'm an asshole for what I've written and what I haven't written simultaneously. I'm also an asshole for having thin skin and objecting to their objections.

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Really?

By all means, continue writing, you have a knack for it. it's an interesting premise and mostly well executed story. I like the concept of Thor!Taylor and you are getting that aspect down. Also, anything that is station of canon gets boo'd at regardless of how well written it is, and honestly the lung fight is a well trodden road ( almost as trodden as the locker scene) but as I also said, I don't mind that at all. it makes sense story wise because, believe it or not, Taylor doesn't immediately become the center of the universe as some might think. which made me happy because you understand that plans and plots don't magically change the minute that Taylor starts going out as a cape. it also was a good way to introduce her officially to PTR and shows the main character has flaws. Overall you are doing great on the writing side of things.

My biggest complaint was how you handled negative responses, not the story itself. I love the story, I really do. As I have said before; not everyone is going to like what you write, some more vocal than others, sorry. When you start off an rebuttal with a "Do I seriously need to be pandering each and every chapter?" kind of throws a condescending message my way because it reads "do I need to pander to everyone like I already have been doing?" and that colors the rest of the response. This is what I call an assholish response, I haven't called you an asshole, I said your response is a kind of assholish. I called you out because you were pushing all sorts of buttons that don't want to be pushed plus I thought I was responding rather politely. I knew I was pushing a little bit, but I thought I was pretty civil overall. so, apologies if it seemed that I was attacking you in anger, I wasn't. sorry .

The problem scene people have with has an nasty case of escalation and, as said it gets me interested in more Winslow shenanigans because you started off with a real big issue for Taylor's school life. Being called out for having drugs and getting "caught red handed" is a problem and will need to be addressed at some point because faculty are involved and unlike possession of a weapon, possession of drugs will be causing trouble. with an weapon, she gets scolded, the weapon gets taken away and if the faculty are charitable or not, might call her parents. With drugs? it can easily lead to the faculty hounding her "to make sure she isn't carrying illegal substance around" it can get them to look around bug her about her supplier...ect. in essence, you made a large ass problem for the intrepid hero here and that is interesting.

Last thing, I swear. you are blowing things out of proportion, just because you have negative responses and a personal visit from ninjafish (plus his normal hateboner response with anything with Taylor's school life ) shouldn't mean you have throw in the towel at all. there is no way you will be able to please everyone and that should be fine. take a negative response with a grain of salt because, hey! we aren't you and therefore we don't know how you have planed out the story.

 

[Twei]

Personally I'm okay with this, and I was okay with Taylor Varga. If writing continues, reading shall continue.

 

[Shaseyu]

"There is the matter of you taking drugs yourself, however."

"I do not do drugs!"

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But you do drugs, Taylor.
Your drug is called Mjölnir.
You are ready to suffer any humiliation in school just to keep your father from finding out about your addiction.
So, you endure Trio's bullying, and then you run home and grab your Mjölnir, and you get high and feel like you are god.

Important health message: hammers are addictive and dangerous for your mental health.

 

[TheUnicorn]

The drug thing seems a bit... much. I'm interested in seeing where it goes. I think what some people are missing is Taylor succumbing to PRIDE here. If she leaves school, the Trio WINS. And that is not acceptable. At this point she doesn't have anyone else to go to anyway, and her capering has only just begun.

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No, the problem is not Taylor's actions. They make sense, or at least as much sense as her actions before the discussion with the principal. The problem is not even (for me at least) the illogic of the principal having that conversation in the first place (although as others have noted there are issues with it. The problem is that all this managed to happen without the school involving Danny, which even if not illegal would open them to lawsuits regardless of if Taylor has anything to do with drugs.

You just did.

I think I'm done. I don't think my style of writing is compatible with piecemeal releases, especially not if the only thing people want is instant gratification. I'm an asshole for what I've written and what I haven't written simultaneously. I'm also an asshole for having thin skin and objecting to their objections.

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I hope you change your mind about keeping writing this story, but honestly if you're that thin skinned you probably should stop posting stories here, at least outside of a story only thread in the archive. It doesn't matter how great your story you're going to get people who don't like parts of it, and most of them will express themselves either poorly or rudely or both.
You might want to look at AO3 of FF.net for posting your stories.