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A Matter of Worth (Worm/Mighty Thor, alt-power, DEAD)

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I personally had no problem with the way the story's going so far because the school stuff was quite clearly building up to a situation like you had planned. Sorry for implying otherwise, it works and Emma and co. are shitty enough people that I have no problem believing it.

At this point they've gotten away with both the locker and the hole, Taylor's clearly given up on trying to stop it so why not keep going?
 
Brandon Hume said:
Do I seriously need to be pandering each and every chapter? There's stuff in between the first chapter and the last. Should I post the complete plotline in point form and help people avoid all that?

I hadn't even planned on writing more Winslow, but apparently that's not good enough.

Fine, here it is: Taylor is internalizing her own sense of worthlessness. The hammer gives her an out, which she takes a bit too far. She compartmentalizes her life more and more, hopping into her Thor persona to avoid dealing with her problems. But those problems don't go away, and when she's confronted with them as Thor she nearly snaps. That's when she loses the hammer, not because she was unworthy as Thor but because she believed herself unworthy as Taylor... when it was Taylor who picked it up in the first place.

I'd planned a series of stuff in between, but I'm getting the impression people hate that stuff, so I'll avoid it. In the end Taylor has a confrontation with Emma, has a sacrificial moment, Danny almost has a big damn hero moment, and Taylor regains the hammer and learns not to let others define her worth. Everyone's happy and awesome and not grimderpy at all. The end.
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Its a weakness of the medium that if people think they see where a story is going, they assume that that's what will happen. However they can't just read more to see your plan. They need to wait 2-3 weeks until the story line resolves itself.

Personally, I've been enjoying the Thor-isms for now :)
 
Honestly, given that this is the first meaningful event to shift the stations of canon, I don't see an issue.

And it's really not even the stations of canon, given the lack of the undersiders and literally everything else. Taylor pretty much needs to step in and stop Lung here, too, or else the undersiders are all dead and you need to replace a quarter of the cast.
 
Rule 3: your civility needs improvement
okay just stop writing.

The trio is something to be blown past in the first 2-3 chapters.

not fucking focused on like this.

have her snap and destroy the school already or just stop
 
Loved the chapters!
BioSaur said:
The school chapter was very good at making you hate the bullies, and it isn't very likely. If a ward had told your administration that someone was a drug dealer the cops would be called.
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First, it wasn't a ward, it was Emma.
Second, it isn't about whether Taytay is a drug dealer or not, something which she knows is patently false, its about pandering to the popular clique by helping them torture their fave victim, which Blackwell knows she/they can do with impunity after the cops dismissed a kidnapping/forcible confinement/attempted murder without even a cursory investigation, ala Canon.
 
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I'm just going to wait to see what the author does in regard to school. She can't really hit them with mjolnir or level the school because that would make her unworthy of the hammer so the author must have somthing planed.
 
I gotta say that, while I personally dislike the way that the Trio treats Taylor, it doesn't break my SOD given their behavior in canon. It does lead into the disconnect between Taylor and Thor fairly well, and it could be argued that Taylor has been knuckling under to the Trio for so long that she has trouble thinking of a decent solution.
 
Man, I must be sociopathic, because I can't understand why people are so triggered over what amounts to nothing. Its just a Fictional story, chill the hell out. While I am iffy on the stations of canon, I can deal if we get off the rails eventually.
 
Honestly I like how the story is going so far, though to be honest I didn't like the school scenes but I don't usually like them so nothing new there. The rest of this chapter though I really enjoyed while some say the author should have wrote a throw down between Taylor and e88 I think that fighting lung was a good choice because it really let her go all out.

I just wanted to throw in my opinion I really hope you update soon and keep up the good work
 
Vortiboy23 said:
On the flipside, Emma shitting herself that she tortured Taylor into becoming an S-Class threat will be cathartic at best.
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Nah, knowing her, she'll somehow twist it into her "making Taylor become strong".

Lunatic350 said:
Given Lung's state, though, I'm fairly sure he and maybe Tattletale are the only ones who could have caught it. Any security cameras are likely damaged or offline, and any minions have fled or died by now.

A viral video might out her (but might not since her physical form is vastly different and she doesn't fight like a Changer). Lung knowing she has a beef with a woman named Emma, however, tells him very little. Especially since he'd be looking for tall buff blonde women with an enemy named Emma, not mousy stick-thin teenaged girls with brown hair.
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Even damaged cameras can still pick up sound and video, though granted it would be distorted or it would skip around or any number of things. Still, yelling out the name "Emma" gives an in/a lead to her secret identity. It's not like Emma is an extremely common name and like 3 out of 5 girls have it or whatever. And even if the name is pretty common in Brockton Bay, the major players(PRT has Thinkers, E88 has Victor(hacking and detective work), ABB has kidnapping gangs and Oni Lee(T&I), etc...) have tons of ways to find out which Emma it is(Coil especially, given he's got Tattletale and his power and knowing him, he'd either use it as leverage on Taylor or sell it to the E88. Either way, E88 is gone). And Changer powers are a known Thing in Wormverse, so even her appearance shouldn't be taken for granted until it's confirmed that it's her actual body and shit and it's an easy explanation if/when they find out it's really a "mousy stick-thin teenager with brown hair".

Brandon Hume said:
She doesn't look like Taylor, she doesn't sound like Taylor, she certainly isn't acting like Taylor, and Emma isn't exactly an uncommon name. So how do you figure that?
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See above. Remember people, the Unwritten Rules aren't rules.



Also, @ninjafish, kindly leave the thread if you aren't going to post something helpfully constructive.
 
I'm not bothered by redoing parts of canon, per se... And to be clear, I'm not terribly bothered by this one.

The problem with the Lung fight is that it's happenstance, though. This isn't something that would happen unless derailed; it's something that would only happen if Taylor happened to go to that very specific rooftop on that very specific night, at that specific time of night. It was genuine random chance in canon, and that makes revisiting it a problem.

Also it's been done to death, yeah.
 
Missed one line in yellow
Brandon Hume said:
Aye, a test of muscle and mettle, a battle to be spoken of in song!"
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I am waiting to see how you plan to resolve the Trio, not calling you out for it. After a night beating Lung and flying to space, Taylor will have to grow some backbone. I think some bleed over of Thor into her next physical interaction with Sophia would be enlightening. Maybe a nice static shock to Madison as she tries to dump something on Taylor's hair that frizzes her curls into a baffled-fro.

To me this still looks like setup, pump faking towards the easy target and then throwing downfield. Just don't fumble the play. (And yes, I just used up my sport's related analogy quota for 2017)
 
Forget being a problem, the school side of this story is pretty much necessary. It gives Taylor space for character development as herself instead of as Thor, it provides internal conflict and space for introspection, and it gives her problems that she can't just punch until they stop moving. The other option is to escalate straight to endbringers, which would just be boring.

Beyond that, I don't think there's anything really objectionable so far. Taylor is accused of drug use, Blackwell further solidifies her mistrust of authority, and it sets up a way to involve Danny in a meaningful way. Nothing about this is "torture porn."
 
FFS this is why I hate people on this site sometimes. They complain and complain about plot points in an entirely unhelpful way, and completely drain any enthusiasm authors have to continue writing. This is especially the case when they try and make slight changes to canon or use canon to implement entirely different themes, something that can often make very good fanfiction. For god's sake save your complaining until the end of a story arc, at least then you can see exactly how a plot thread flows out. At that point you can make an informed decision as to whether any issues you have with the story are structural ones that will continue, or just individual plot issues that either get solved or were purposely put there in the first place.

This seems to be escalating to a ridiculous degree in worm fics. People will nitpick and complain about how any detail "breaks their SoD" the chapter it occurs without waiting to see all the context, or will just outright bitch at an author if a plotline happens that they personally don't like. Someone could have planned the best ever S9 arc and people will just tear it to shreds before it has even been given the opportunity to get properly started. See here in this fic: she fights lung as in canon, yet completely different themes can be taken from it. Canon has Taylor being in over her head, being rescued by villains and showing her that she is still low in the pecking order. This fic has the lung fight display Taylor as the new power in Brockton, displaying a completely different personality to her civilian identity, and having a massively different relation with Armsmaster. Despite all this, people complain about it being evidence that this fic is just going to follow canon, and hence it is bad and the author should feel bad.

To sum it all up in as inoffensive a way as I can: Learn the difference between constructive criticism and just plain complaining. For plot related criticisms, wait until a specific arc is finished and bear in mind that this is highly subjective. Sure for small things like grammar or minor changes that you believe would help, go ahead and post them each chapter. On the other hand repeated complaining about plotlines at their birth can be hugely demoralising to authors. Give them a chance to show you the full picture in their head instead of deciding that the small piece in front of you is trash.
 
Huh. You actually dragged the fight out long enough for armsmaster to show up mid-walloping. That's a new one.
 
Brandon Hume said:
Only your father can authorize such a test, Miss Hebert. I can, however, suspend you until such time as your father either provides the results of a drug test, or he reports to me that you've entered drug counselling. Is that the option you'd prefer?"
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It's at about that point I'd demand she call the police. Because fuck that shit.

Brandon Hume said:
Aye, a test of muscle and mettle, a battle to be spoken of in song!"
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Wrong colour? Should be yellow?

Not bad, fun fight. Was half expecting her to upper cut Lung with the hammer, then bat him into the bay.

The Dragon thing is interesting, but a little early though? Not complaining but it seems like a big leap to make, unless she is being hopeful or has found some evidence of things beyond earth.

The Trio thing didn't seem to bad to me, beyond the drug user/dealer claim didn't seem to much to me, since she was acting somewhat atypical for herself. If there was anything else that has set everyone off about it, I must have missed it.
 
shinkicker444 said:
It's at about that point I'd demand she call the police. Because fuck that shit.


Wrong colour? Should be yellow?

Not bad, fun fight. Was half expecting her to upper cut Lung with the hammer, then bat him into the bay.

The Dragon thing is interesting, but a little early though? Not complaining but it seems like a big leap to make, unless she is being hopeful or has found some evidence of things beyond earth.

The Trio thing didn't seem to bad to me, beyond the drug user/dealer claim didn't seem to much to me, since she was acting somewhat atypical for herself. If there was anything else that has set everyone off about it, I must have missed it.
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Personally I think dragon was just trying to make a joke.
 
Great update, and contrary to what everyone else is saying, I would ask you to NOT solve the bullying issue, in any real capacity.

Solving the bully issue has been done a hundred times (Except canon ironically enough) and does not reflect well on real life, as in real life you don't get your way all the time, and every problem isn't fixed in a nice little bow. Instead I would plead that you have Taylor's strong will overcome and move pass the bullying opposed to getting payback.
 
It's possible that Dragon was totally serious about Taylor being legit, I think. This fic isn't just a power crossover, it explicitly has the Marvel-verse existing alongside Worm. There might be other indicators of some supernatural dickery scattered around the globe, which Dragon would be better placed to notice than anyone except maybe Cauldron.
 
TheRedSir said:
Great update, and contrary to what everyone else is saying, I would ask you to NOT solve the bullying issue, in any real capacity.

Solving the bully issue has been done a hundred times (Except canon ironically enough) and does not reflect well on real life, as in real life you don't get your way all the time, and every problem isn't fixed in a nice little bow. Instead I would plead that you have Taylor's strong will overcome and move pass the bullying opposed to getting payback.
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That wont make the bullies go away. Last I checked, they nearly killed her in the locker and still keep on going. She needs to deal with the bullies or no amount of will can save her from them. She will break.
 
TheRedSir said:
Great update, and contrary to what everyone else is saying, I would ask you to NOT solve the bullying issue, in any real capacity.

Solving the bully issue has been done a hundred times (Except canon ironically enough) and does not reflect well on real life, as in real life you don't get your way all the time, and every problem isn't fixed in a nice little bow. Instead I would plead that you have Taylor's strong will overcome and move pass the bullying opposed to getting payback.
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Vortiboy23 said:
That wont make the bullies go away. Last I checked, they nearly killed her in the locker and still keep on going. She needs to deal with the bullies or no amount of will can save her from them. She will break.
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In middle school there was this one asshole who really enjoyed bullying me (We'll call him E). Like Taylor, I responded to my bully's transgressions by taking them to the faculty. Unlike Taylor, my school faculty actually acted. Even then, it took a year and a half before coach K had enough of E's bullshit and took both of us to the assistant principal. E ended up staying in her office for the rest of the day (I think), and I got to spend the day with one of the fun school Councillors. I don't know what punishment E received, but he never bothered me again, not even when we ended up in the same class our sophomore year of high school.

So, a bully receiving their comeuppance can happen in real life. Hopefully, one of the teachers will hit their last fuck to give and finally act in favor of Taylor.
 
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