A Heart of Ice and Coffee [RWBY/SI]
- Thread starter shadenight123
- Start date
DragoLord19D
I ate a TARDIS but I'm still hungry!
- Location
- Ma Treasure Hoard (I ain't tellin' where it's at!)
Wren's face pales as he figures out what is about to happen "Mother.
Mother no!"
As she begins pulling out more pictures with a manic smile on her lips Willow sings back "MOTHER YES!!"
Yeah, on the other hand she would probably not be happy at all with plan shoot her into the sun. Being able to stop would have an appeal, being on fire forever would not.
Invadingcat478
Certified Homophone
- Location
- Nekoneko town
Yahh no matter how evil salem is, even if she is a soullsss monster I just want her to rest not burning on the sun for eternity. Poor girl already broken and have only spite and determination as her fuel she deserves her rest and not on the handa of brother assholes
- Location
- The real Bloom County
Wouldn't that make him a Liesmith?
IIRC, that's also one of the names for one particular Norse God.
Shade = Loki?
Loki = Magic?
Magic = Dark Brother God?
Note: I would try and tie him to Greek/Roman mythology, but there's no God of Lies there. They all have that particular idea in their portfolio!
Zenn1
Master of the forbidden art of buttwhoop
I would absolutely love for Ashelyn to be a red herring in the end.
Just think about it: Wren, like most SIs tends to trust his first instinct about people in the story because he saw the story from the outside first. But what if there's the one thing that nobody can plan for or control or make huge Machiavellian schemes to defeat: coincidence.
What if she's just some woman that looks like Salem and Wren's paranoia confused coincidence with confirmation? That he's just seeing things in her actions that aren't actually there because it would match the "story" he's built his mind and anything else would mean he doesn't have what he wants most: control of the "narrative".
Just think about it: Wren, like most SIs tends to trust his first instinct about people in the story because he saw the story from the outside first. But what if there's the one thing that nobody can plan for or control or make huge Machiavellian schemes to defeat: coincidence.
What if she's just some woman that looks like Salem and Wren's paranoia confused coincidence with confirmation? That he's just seeing things in her actions that aren't actually there because it would match the "story" he's built his mind and anything else would mean he doesn't have what he wants most: control of the "narrative".
- Location
- newcastle australia
I'd love that so much. Best plot twist.
At this point that twist would be a bit contrived due to how she's acting being far too in-line with being Salem. If she had 'faked' horror at some of the things Wren has said then it would be a possibility, but there's just too much coincidence for her to be a person that has no family, came from nowhere, showed up right before a grimm invasion, has a 'dark' personality, 'magically' survived the grimm invasion, acts the way she does in regards to opulence (If she came from outer colonies she wouldn't be used to displays of wealth) and looks just like human Salem.
I find the point of terror being so visually similar to love hilarious. That and Wren channeling all the wrong things to appear to be in love. She's about to say no? Think of the massacre of the thousands and thousands of people that you left behind (with a few mental gymnastics to feel a torrent of sadness rather than righteous fury).
- Location
- United Kingdom
Of all the things to hand to your
The Baby Pictures.
Truly, all that karma's come to bite you, Wren.
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Seven
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Seven
Here is the mighty Wren. He is stalking his prey. His body tenses, acting like he isn't truly there on purpose. His back is pressed against the wall. He glances at the hallway, and at the noise that is coming from one of the many rooms in the Schnee headquarters that are currently being used as guest rooms.
He is a dangerous predator. He is-
"Father," Robusta buzzed by my side, "Your afternoon coffee," she announced, politely handing it over as I remained with my back pressed against the wall and a hush gesture done with my other hand over my lips.
I was wary. I was worried. Most importantly, I was being traumatized without any possible way of preventing it.
I took my coffee like I would take the most prized of drugs, for in the coffee I found happiness and through it I found purpose. It was my Happy-Coffee experimental mix. Robusta had voiced her doubts on its blend, but I had assured her that, as if with all experiments, it had to be carried out on my skin. It was the only way to be sure.
Meanwhile, in the room nearby, the light chuckling of Salem mixed with the gentle voice of Willow explaining this or that picture taken without me even knowing about it.
"In this one proud explorer Wren needed to find out just how many rooms were in the mansion, and whether there were secret passages leading outside," Willow spoke. "Thus, armed with his paper and pencil, he began to sketch a map, and count the rooms. He didn't realized Klein was shadowing him until he got lost in the cellars, at which point he was rescued and brought in the kitchen for some valiant hero's feast based on chocolate."
It had to have been an event which happened way before my memories' return. It definitely had to be it.
"And here we have him and..." her voice grew faint, ever so lightly, "his big sister Winter. They used to play in the garden-he'd follow her around incessantly."
"Oh," Salem's voice reached my ears as I kept draining the cup of coffee in my hand. "It must...it must have been hard."
I kept draining my cup. Careful there Salem. If you hurt my mother, I will end you. I do not yet know how I could end you before the rail-gun, but I will find a way, and I will end you.
I extended a hand towards Robusta, who quietly handed me a second cup without a word. Who knew that mixing anti-depressants in the coffee would make the world a better place? Well, anyway, I kept listening on.
"It-It was," Willow whispered. "I-He was going to let her go," her voice cracked. "He wasn't going to kill his family. Maybe-Maybe just the General," she sniffled.
"Madam-here," Klein's voice came through, the man probably handing over a handkerchief for my mother to blow her nose into.
"He's got a soft spot for family, then?" Salem asked. "He wasn't keen on showing it."
"He's-dear me, I'm making a fool of myself," Willow muttered. I kept drinking coffee. "He'll never say it out loud, but a mother knows this kind of things. He loves his siblings very much, even if he rarely sees them. He's probably just embarrassed about it. He had to show how tough he was from a very young age, and there were some...problems, so he went to apprentice under Geppetto. That's when he began to-well," mother, I understand that to you she's just a nice young lady, but are you trying to flunk my attempts at marrying her, or are you trying to aid me? Pick one. Pick one and stick to it!
"Ah, I see," Salem said. "He did not have a good relationship with his father."
"That's the strangest thing," Willow said. "For the longest time-I thought he did. I truly thought that, but then...well, I don't want to air the family's dirty laundry."
"I understand," Salem said, sounding genuinely understanding of the entire situation. "It's just so vexing...I can see there is a lot of pain inside him, and I want to...to soothe him." Oi, Salem, are you truly using my mother's pain as a way to get more information out of her about me? Truly? Well, I am going to send you into the depths of space soon enough, but in the meantime keep talking, and I'll keep drinking my happy coffee juice.
"Oh, sweetheart," no, mother, Salem is anything but a sweetheart. I mean, she might put sugar on hearts, all things considered, but well, you know what? Maybe you should go for a week in a nice thermal pool. Yes, I can have tickets readied soon enough. I grinned as I drained the second cup of beautiful coffee. Robusta had a third one at hand, but there was the beginning of a frown on her face. "Just be by his side, and if he loves you as much as I can see he does," good to know even mother could be blind, "he'll start to get better." She made a nervous chuckle, "Maybe you'll even hear him sing."
"Sing?" Salem mused. "I never heard him sing."
"He might think it's embarrassing," Willow said, "But whenever Wren is happy, he starts humming. And if there's no one nearby, or he thinks so, he starts singing."
I took a deep breath, and drained the third cup in a full go.
Stenophylla, remind me to start humming at random in Salem's presence. It's the only way to be sure.
"Is that all he does?" Salem asked.
I carefully pulled out my bloc notes, and my pencil. I had been a brave explorer in the past, but I now was a brave adventurer, and I needed to take notes.
I would intervene in the discussion, coincidentally freeing some time to just so casually pass by and enact a couple of silly shenanigans, all for the sake of getting my mother to safety from the evil prying ways of Salem.
"You know," Willow said, "I think that would ruin the fun," she added with what I could only assume was a wistful smile. "Or, well," she laughed, "The experience itself. You should get to know him, and see how he acts in your presence alone. I know there are a lot of things he doesn't tell his mother, or shows her-and well, you should just pay attention to what he does, and how he does it. You don't need to feel obliged to know everything about him. Discover it little by little, fall in love little by little, and...well, I hope he'll be a good, kind and respectable gentleman. If he isn't, you just tell me, dear. I'll set him straight."
"He has been nothing but a respectable gentleman, if quite a bit rushing in his advances," Salem answered, "It's-It's an interesting experience. It has been a long time since I last saw someone so committed."
"Ah, I did feel a connection between us," Willow muttered, "You had a...bad relationship in the past, did you not, dear?"
Silence.
I looked at Robusta, and she hastily brought forth the biggest cup I had ever seen. I began to drink. My heart was starting to drum strangely in my chest, but I needed this. I needed to be calm and the only way to be calm was through coffee.
Coffee was my nirvana. That and hugging cute stuff. I realized only dimly that I had an arm around Robusta's head and was hugging her tightly while drinking my coffee, but my first daughter didn't look like she was going to complain, and I needed the happiness. I needed all of the happiness in the world. Mother, no. Mother why. Mother how could you realize. Who are you, mother? Do you have some kind of fairy-tale Godmother sixth-sense?
Gods no.
God no.
All forms of Gods no.
"I...I do not want to talk about it," Salem said. I knew that she was planning how to kill my mother now. I knew it.
"I understand," no mother, you do not. She's an evil witch. If you tell an evil Goddess that you understand her, she will most likely go with-
"I do not think you do," she spoke frostily, but then realized her own tone, because she added with her best false-traumatized voice, "He-He betrayed me, me! I suffered through incredible trials to-to help him out and we-we were supposed to live happily ever after together and he-he didn't-he didn't want to. He tried to leave in the middle of the night, like a coward, and when I confronted him-he said that he couldn't love me anymore!"
And there we go, I knew it. Intervene. Wren Schnee, it's your mother in that room. Walk inside, grab Salem by the hand, and then suplex her out of the window. It might give you time. Yes, that's a brilliant idea. Robusta, why are you the one holding me back now? I must go rescue mother-stop funneling coffee into my mouth. I am happy.
I am so happy that I must go suplex a Goddess out of a window. It's called Defenestration. It's a nice practice. Useful in airing grievances.
"Oh, you poor thing," Willow was probably hugging her, "All forms of pain are different. I am sorry I misspoke. I do not know your pain, I cannot know it if you don't speak it," she continued, softly, "But-" I dimly realized that Klein was standing by Robusta and mine side, and I actually had no idea how he had left the room. The door was closed. There were no other exits. Klein, are you a ninja'
Why are you smiling at my thoughts? Can you read minds?
I am high on happy coffee. I should not be high on happy-coffee.
"I think the best way to soothe one's wounds is to find one's own serenity. Peace can only come from ourselves. We must accept the things we cannot change, be brave in changing those we can, and...be wise to know the difference between the two," Willow said, "And I am sure you are a brave, a really brave woman. The fact that after all that pain you are willing to give my son a chance is proof enough of your bravery." She sighed wistfully. "I am trying to convince a certain hardheaded man to attempt to woo me too, but he does not catch my subtle hints either."
I blinked.
Then I turned towards Klein.
He was gone.
Oh no you fucking don't.
Faithful flying dragons that I am clearly hallucinating due to having reached the Caffeine high of all caffeine highs-
Bring me that multicolored-eyed man!
"I...I don't know what to say," Salem said instead.
"Well, perhaps we should resume looking at Wren's baby pictures then?" my mother said. "Cute babies always make me smile. Though we are reaching Grumpy-Wren's stage of life. In which everything made him grumpy, and thus, incredibly cute. He'd cross his tiny arms and-"
No, I've heard enough.
I'm sorry.
I have to intervene.
Robusta, why are you dragging me away?
Stop dragging your father away Robusta. My heart rate's not so bad I require hospitalization!
One hundred and ninety beats a minute isn't that high!
What do you mean, you're cutting me off my experimental Happy-Coffee!?
Here is the mighty Wren. He is stalking his prey. His body tenses, acting like he isn't truly there on purpose. His back is pressed against the wall. He glances at the hallway, and at the noise that is coming from one of the many rooms in the Schnee headquarters that are currently being used as guest rooms.
He is a dangerous predator. He is-
"Father," Robusta buzzed by my side, "Your afternoon coffee," she announced, politely handing it over as I remained with my back pressed against the wall and a hush gesture done with my other hand over my lips.
I was wary. I was worried. Most importantly, I was being traumatized without any possible way of preventing it.
I took my coffee like I would take the most prized of drugs, for in the coffee I found happiness and through it I found purpose. It was my Happy-Coffee experimental mix. Robusta had voiced her doubts on its blend, but I had assured her that, as if with all experiments, it had to be carried out on my skin. It was the only way to be sure.
Meanwhile, in the room nearby, the light chuckling of Salem mixed with the gentle voice of Willow explaining this or that picture taken without me even knowing about it.
"In this one proud explorer Wren needed to find out just how many rooms were in the mansion, and whether there were secret passages leading outside," Willow spoke. "Thus, armed with his paper and pencil, he began to sketch a map, and count the rooms. He didn't realized Klein was shadowing him until he got lost in the cellars, at which point he was rescued and brought in the kitchen for some valiant hero's feast based on chocolate."
It had to have been an event which happened way before my memories' return. It definitely had to be it.
"And here we have him and..." her voice grew faint, ever so lightly, "his big sister Winter. They used to play in the garden-he'd follow her around incessantly."
"Oh," Salem's voice reached my ears as I kept draining the cup of coffee in my hand. "It must...it must have been hard."
I kept draining my cup. Careful there Salem. If you hurt my mother, I will end you. I do not yet know how I could end you before the rail-gun, but I will find a way, and I will end you.
I extended a hand towards Robusta, who quietly handed me a second cup without a word. Who knew that mixing anti-depressants in the coffee would make the world a better place? Well, anyway, I kept listening on.
"It-It was," Willow whispered. "I-He was going to let her go," her voice cracked. "He wasn't going to kill his family. Maybe-Maybe just the General," she sniffled.
"Madam-here," Klein's voice came through, the man probably handing over a handkerchief for my mother to blow her nose into.
"He's got a soft spot for family, then?" Salem asked. "He wasn't keen on showing it."
"He's-dear me, I'm making a fool of myself," Willow muttered. I kept drinking coffee. "He'll never say it out loud, but a mother knows this kind of things. He loves his siblings very much, even if he rarely sees them. He's probably just embarrassed about it. He had to show how tough he was from a very young age, and there were some...problems, so he went to apprentice under Geppetto. That's when he began to-well," mother, I understand that to you she's just a nice young lady, but are you trying to flunk my attempts at marrying her, or are you trying to aid me? Pick one. Pick one and stick to it!
"Ah, I see," Salem said. "He did not have a good relationship with his father."
"That's the strangest thing," Willow said. "For the longest time-I thought he did. I truly thought that, but then...well, I don't want to air the family's dirty laundry."
"I understand," Salem said, sounding genuinely understanding of the entire situation. "It's just so vexing...I can see there is a lot of pain inside him, and I want to...to soothe him." Oi, Salem, are you truly using my mother's pain as a way to get more information out of her about me? Truly? Well, I am going to send you into the depths of space soon enough, but in the meantime keep talking, and I'll keep drinking my happy coffee juice.
"Oh, sweetheart," no, mother, Salem is anything but a sweetheart. I mean, she might put sugar on hearts, all things considered, but well, you know what? Maybe you should go for a week in a nice thermal pool. Yes, I can have tickets readied soon enough. I grinned as I drained the second cup of beautiful coffee. Robusta had a third one at hand, but there was the beginning of a frown on her face. "Just be by his side, and if he loves you as much as I can see he does," good to know even mother could be blind, "he'll start to get better." She made a nervous chuckle, "Maybe you'll even hear him sing."
"Sing?" Salem mused. "I never heard him sing."
"He might think it's embarrassing," Willow said, "But whenever Wren is happy, he starts humming. And if there's no one nearby, or he thinks so, he starts singing."
I took a deep breath, and drained the third cup in a full go.
Stenophylla, remind me to start humming at random in Salem's presence. It's the only way to be sure.
"Is that all he does?" Salem asked.
I carefully pulled out my bloc notes, and my pencil. I had been a brave explorer in the past, but I now was a brave adventurer, and I needed to take notes.
I would intervene in the discussion, coincidentally freeing some time to just so casually pass by and enact a couple of silly shenanigans, all for the sake of getting my mother to safety from the evil prying ways of Salem.
"You know," Willow said, "I think that would ruin the fun," she added with what I could only assume was a wistful smile. "Or, well," she laughed, "The experience itself. You should get to know him, and see how he acts in your presence alone. I know there are a lot of things he doesn't tell his mother, or shows her-and well, you should just pay attention to what he does, and how he does it. You don't need to feel obliged to know everything about him. Discover it little by little, fall in love little by little, and...well, I hope he'll be a good, kind and respectable gentleman. If he isn't, you just tell me, dear. I'll set him straight."
"He has been nothing but a respectable gentleman, if quite a bit rushing in his advances," Salem answered, "It's-It's an interesting experience. It has been a long time since I last saw someone so committed."
"Ah, I did feel a connection between us," Willow muttered, "You had a...bad relationship in the past, did you not, dear?"
Silence.
I looked at Robusta, and she hastily brought forth the biggest cup I had ever seen. I began to drink. My heart was starting to drum strangely in my chest, but I needed this. I needed to be calm and the only way to be calm was through coffee.
Coffee was my nirvana. That and hugging cute stuff. I realized only dimly that I had an arm around Robusta's head and was hugging her tightly while drinking my coffee, but my first daughter didn't look like she was going to complain, and I needed the happiness. I needed all of the happiness in the world. Mother, no. Mother why. Mother how could you realize. Who are you, mother? Do you have some kind of fairy-tale Godmother sixth-sense?
Gods no.
God no.
All forms of Gods no.
"I...I do not want to talk about it," Salem said. I knew that she was planning how to kill my mother now. I knew it.
"I understand," no mother, you do not. She's an evil witch. If you tell an evil Goddess that you understand her, she will most likely go with-
"I do not think you do," she spoke frostily, but then realized her own tone, because she added with her best false-traumatized voice, "He-He betrayed me, me! I suffered through incredible trials to-to help him out and we-we were supposed to live happily ever after together and he-he didn't-he didn't want to. He tried to leave in the middle of the night, like a coward, and when I confronted him-he said that he couldn't love me anymore!"
And there we go, I knew it. Intervene. Wren Schnee, it's your mother in that room. Walk inside, grab Salem by the hand, and then suplex her out of the window. It might give you time. Yes, that's a brilliant idea. Robusta, why are you the one holding me back now? I must go rescue mother-stop funneling coffee into my mouth. I am happy.
I am so happy that I must go suplex a Goddess out of a window. It's called Defenestration. It's a nice practice. Useful in airing grievances.
"Oh, you poor thing," Willow was probably hugging her, "All forms of pain are different. I am sorry I misspoke. I do not know your pain, I cannot know it if you don't speak it," she continued, softly, "But-" I dimly realized that Klein was standing by Robusta and mine side, and I actually had no idea how he had left the room. The door was closed. There were no other exits. Klein, are you a ninja'
Why are you smiling at my thoughts? Can you read minds?
I am high on happy coffee. I should not be high on happy-coffee.
"I think the best way to soothe one's wounds is to find one's own serenity. Peace can only come from ourselves. We must accept the things we cannot change, be brave in changing those we can, and...be wise to know the difference between the two," Willow said, "And I am sure you are a brave, a really brave woman. The fact that after all that pain you are willing to give my son a chance is proof enough of your bravery." She sighed wistfully. "I am trying to convince a certain hardheaded man to attempt to woo me too, but he does not catch my subtle hints either."
I blinked.
Then I turned towards Klein.
He was gone.
Oh no you fucking don't.
Faithful flying dragons that I am clearly hallucinating due to having reached the Caffeine high of all caffeine highs-
Bring me that multicolored-eyed man!
"I...I don't know what to say," Salem said instead.
"Well, perhaps we should resume looking at Wren's baby pictures then?" my mother said. "Cute babies always make me smile. Though we are reaching Grumpy-Wren's stage of life. In which everything made him grumpy, and thus, incredibly cute. He'd cross his tiny arms and-"
No, I've heard enough.
I'm sorry.
I have to intervene.
Robusta, why are you dragging me away?
Stop dragging your father away Robusta. My heart rate's not so bad I require hospitalization!
One hundred and ninety beats a minute isn't that high!
What do you mean, you're cutting me off my experimental Happy-Coffee!?
- Location
- Dreary ol' London Town
*cackles* you let the paparazzi see you acting a Fool In Love, you propose on a friggin pier as she disembarks a ship, again in full view of the public and you dare ask why your mother wants to meet her?! Like, what did you think would happen with your newly-sobered mother who's realised how much she's missed of her children's lives?
ninja'd by a chapter.
T.T
WHAT.WHO? KLEIN?!
?
ninja'd by a chapter.
T.T
WHAT.WHO? KLEIN?!
?
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- Location
- North America
I'm so happy I just came back from picking up my lunch because this is a great fucking lunch time show.
- Location
- Madness realms
God, the rocket cannot be built fast enough.
Why not Klein? He's literally the only one who's always there for her and raised her children.
- Location
- Planet Earth
"Captain the ship is being reinforced by the engineers at Memories"
"Good we need that and the upgrade at Feelings to be able to cross the triangle of death"
"Captain.."
"Don't say anything this ship was originally made by a normal sailor and a broken boat, But we must Persevere! and cross the triangle of death to reach the Docks of Love!!!"
"YES CAPTAIN!!"
"May the ship "SalemXShade" lives long enough to Reach Valhalla!!!"
"Good we need that and the upgrade at Feelings to be able to cross the triangle of death"
"Captain.."
"Don't say anything this ship was originally made by a normal sailor and a broken boat, But we must Persevere! and cross the triangle of death to reach the Docks of Love!!!"
"YES CAPTAIN!!"
"May the ship "SalemXShade" lives long enough to Reach Valhalla!!!"
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- Location
- Florida
Ah, Grumpy Shade is best Shade. Even Karen Chan agreed.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Holy Rickety Crikey! This chapter was the bomb! Thanks for the update, and keep up the good work!