A Green Sun Illuminates the Void (ZnT/Exalted)

EarthScorpion said:
Luckily, Malfeas doesn't have any published Charms which allow you to see the capital letters when he speaks. Hence, ambiguity, because Tristian has a basically medieval Catholic theology, except that Brimir almost approximates as more of a Mohammed-with-magical-powers in the theology, and so "Creation" can just apply to "All that is created".


It helps a lot that Malfeas is basically Yahweh, if the Romans had had Ghost-Eating Technique. Luckily they didn't, so his fetich soul only had to regenerate, rather than suffering fetich death like the Empheryl Chaos did, after Ruvelia was ritually Ghost-Eaten. So He's within her pre-existing theological context (after all, Malfeas is a deconstruction of Divine Command Theory), as would Cecylcne be. In contrast to, say, Adorjan or the Ebon Dragon.


She's a lot more open to a command-giving divine tyrant or a law-giving desert goddess as things which might actually be God speaking to her, than she would be to... um, the Silent!Murder!Joker!Buddha, or He Who Twirls His Serpentine Moustache. :p

Note: my Malfeas does not believe in ALLCAPSLOCKS! ALL THE TIME!.


That's Isidoros' shtick.
Well, that'll probably be the case until she works through all the memories she has with Past Life 5, after which she'll figure out there's two different places being talked about here.
 
Oh, that's Interesting. That command can be interpreted really creatively in the ZnT setting. There is, after all, a Holy Land, and Malfeas did say that the 'Gods are in Our Heaven'.


Now I really want to know what happens next! Unwrap the New Louise good Scorpion! For Science!
 
I'm really wanting to know what happens when she runs into an elf now. The next chapter is sounding better with word.
 
Chapter 2: Once There Was A Maiden
A Green Sun Illuminates the Void


Chapter 2: Once There Was A Maiden




{0}​


Rage. So much rage, at the endless, uncalled for, impossible betrayal! It could not be! Nothing else could ever matter! Rage at the betrayal, rage at their own weakness, rage at their failure as a ruler and their inability to fulfil their duties to their lesser. And shame. So much shame. They could only lose themselves in dance, and that too was shameful, for they did not deserve to lose themselves.


A hand, slammed into an impermeable wall, over and over and over again, shatters, and there is a scream from the pain, but, nevertheless, the blows continue.




{0}​


The spring morning was chillier than yesterday, the last claws of winter still hanging on, and there was a hint of frost on the ground. Headmaster Osmond sighed, turning around from the window, to face his secretary. Not to face her face, notably. No, his attention was somewhat lower.


Miss Longueville cleared her throat. And, then, when a subtle hint had no effect, raised the papers in front of her to obstruct his view. "Headmaster," she said, voice calm, "if you don't mind? Your appointments, for today."


"Of course, of course." The man continued standing, trying to peer down her top, despite the fact that she was dressed properly. She knew the headmaster.


"Would you like to sit down, sir?" she suggested.


"Of course, of course, but, you see, I am but an old man, and my physician said that I should 'be sure to make sure that you get some exercise'," the headmaster said, his voice suddenly rather more querulous than before. "Hence, it is good for me to stay standing, at least for a little bit."


"He said no such thing," Miss Longueville said. "In fact, he... where are the notes..." she opened a drawer, "...ah yes," she peered down, "... that is not mentioned anywhere on these. And there is a recommendation that you not be allowed to overexert yourself."


"Ah, I see," Osmond said, leaning forwards slightly. "But I am the headmaster of this school, and so it is my choice whether I stand on the school's floor, or sit on its chairs. In fact, I spend so much of my time sitting that, in the interests of fairness and balance, I should... sit down." Making his way back, he collapsed into his chair.


The secretary looked up, squinting slightly in confusion at the sudden compliance, and so utterly missed the small mouse that ran out from under her desk. "If we are quite done?" the woman said.


"Oh yes. I am satisfied," remarked the wizened man, leaning back. The mouse hopped up onto his desk, and he stroked it, gently running his finger along its back.


Papers were shuffled. "Well, yes. In that case, you first have a meeting at half past nine, to interview a new candidate for the vacant astronomy position. A... a Miss Emmanuelle Leterme. Gallian, studied at École supérieure d'optique, in Versailles and later in Greenwich, up in Albion. Line-category wind mage, as is expected for an astronomer, and..." the woman sighed, "... unmarried. Although she is engaged to the Duke of Bedford, who... it notes, is rich, unattractive, and fascinated by astronomy." Eyes were rolled at that.


Osborn stroked his beard. "She was an excellent find," he remarked. "She had a well-rounded... personality... that I felt, the first time we met." His eyes unfocussed, just a little bit. "Very well rounded."


"However, at ten, headmaster, you have an urgent meeting with all the second year teachers. A student failed to summon any familiar."


"Oh." Headmaster Osmond sat up, eyes alert, and even narrowed slightly. "This is unusual." There was apprehension in his voice, as he stretched out his fingers, old joints crackling slightly. "Name?"


"Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière."


"A Vallière?" The man sucked in a breath. "Karin's youngest?"


The secretary flicked an eye down to the genealogy in the files. "Yes. Karin of the Hea..."


"Yes." The man was suddenly a lot less jovially eccentric, and suddenly, subtly, much more predator-like. "Ten, you said? Have it in my office."


"It is set for your office."


"Good." The man softened again, sucking in on his pipe, thinking deep, profound thoughts, of the very secrets of the cosmos and of the nature of faith. "Say, Miss Longueville," he remarked. "White does not suit you. You should wear... yes, green. You have such lovely hair."


The twinkle in his eyes was positively indecent.


The woman looked up, her expression puzzled. "I... am not wearing white?"


There was merely a smile back, followed by a gasp and a sudden crossing of legs, as the ancient mage's intent was divined.




{0}​


A vast city lies beneath a green sun. Brass and basalt form vast spires and towers, beyond anything she has ever, ever seen before. She stands on the top of the tallest tower around, looks out over the city, and she realises that this building alone could house the entire population of the capital. The streets swarm with life, swarm with figures which are like ants to her, and their music drifts up; foreign to her tastes, but so wonderful that she can feel her eyes welling up with tears. One horizon might be called a forest, but it is a forest of silver, shining in the viridian light, and the trees match the heights of some of the buildings. There are lesser plants, too, even in this urban place, creeping growths of tin and gold and silver and every precious metal grow across hexagonal basalt domes and up helical towers of brass, their leaves spreading wide to catch the rays that shine down upon them.


It is beautiful to her, alien, yes, but simply beautiful. She looks up at the blackness above, and sees lesser stars twinkling above, and an almost organic-looking red moon, but all the light above is nothing compared to the green sun.


And it beats. It pulses, almost unnoticeably, and shifts, the landscape shifting to flares of the sun.


And she realises how much pain it must be in.




{0}​


The conference on the future of Miss Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière among the teaching staff was mixed. There were very clear lines of delineation, too; the ones who felt that 'her continued presence here is perhaps not the best for the girl' correlated remarkably well with the ones who had suffered explosions in their classrooms, while the more theoretical teachers, and the ones who taught non-magic related subjects, felt that her marks were good enough that she could stay with her class, and be permitted to attempt another summoning next year.


"Let's face it, she's useless!" a red-faced woman exclaimed. "She can't even cast the most basic Wind spells, and above that, she is rather unpleasant.


"She has some form of power," a man counter-attacked. "Yes, I know you're bitter about what happened to the fish-pond, but," he chuckled, "... well, it's not like commoners have the capacity to make explosions like that, is it?"


"The one I saw was a pretty one," the elderly man exclaimed, querulously, his head snapping upright from where he had obviously been dozing. "It was all multi-coloured." Osmond blinked. "She stays!" he declared.


"But..." the woman protested.


"Excuse me! Who's the headmaster here? It's me, isn't it? Isn't it?" he asked.


"Indeed you are, Headmaster," Miss Longueville said, efficiently, which earned her a few glares, from the teaching staff who did not appreciate the proximity of the headmaster's eyecandy.


"Exactly! And so my word is... my word! To be followed."


That bought an end to the meeting relatively rapidly.


"Well done, sir," his secretary said, once everyone had left. "You handled that rapidly, and responsible. You are a wonderful headmaster." Some might have detected a slightly patronising tone in her voice.


"Yes." He leant back, and puffed on his pipe. "I think I did."




{0}​


Colbert rapped at the door. "Excuse me?" he said. "Miss... um, Louise? We need to talk about your future, and..." he trailed off, as no response came, and he noticed that there were two students approaching down the corridor. This was not the place for a discussion of someone's future.


"Excuse me?" he asked the students. "Have you seen Miss Vallière?"


The dark-skinned, Germanian redhead tilted her head slightly, and shrugged. "Nope. Didn't see Louise at breakfast," she answered. "Not surprised, really. The whole bird-kissing thing must have been humiliating."


"Yes," added her companion, not looking up from her book.


"But she did have a really large plate of food when I saw her last night," Kirche added, helpfully. "I think she's just planning to lock herself in her room for the next few days or something." There was perhaps unexpected sympathy in the girl's face. "I wouldn't wish a failed summoning on anyone. Even Louise. I mean, yes, I know that not everyone can be as wonderful as me, and get a flame salamander, or a..."


"Dragon."


"Yes, a dragon, but, nothing at all?" There was a pause. " Ouch."





{0}​


The woman beside her burns with light, like the setting sun through flawless ice. The pale-skinned red-head gestures, and the transparent knife she throws splits, sparkling in the light as the shatterglass spread slices through the archons before her. The deva scream as the light of holy judgement burns through them, and their souls are devoured in the conflagration, dead and gone forever. A single glance back shows the squadron behind her, serried ranks of jade armour and weaponry within the fury of the elements that whips around them, and perfectly disciplined, they march through the ranks of their foe, burning and poisoning and cutting and destroying, utterly.


She burns too, terrible sun-bright radiance leaching all colour from the world. She raises her blade, and, one roared work cutting through the noise of battle, orders the charge.



And it is horrible. Wrong, wrong, wrong, a terrible blasphemy against all that should be.


These deva were only the beginning. Gold-Shattered Arrow had already cut through their patrons, and their ultimate foe was weak, depleted from the effort to respawning all the third-circle archons that he had led the children of Mela against. He was weak, vulnerable, and they had bought so many forces, that covered from horizon to horizon. Dragonblooded and Dragon-kings and the People of Adamant and seven score Chosen of both the Sun and Moon marched together, anima banners illuminating the world with an intensity which matched the Daystar.


The Primordial fills the other horizon.


She still charges.




{0}


"Miss Vallière?" The porter banged on the door, the heavy clunking resounding down the hallway. "Miss Vallière! Your presence is... um... requested!" There was a pause. "Nothin', sir," the porter reported to Colbert, perhaps unnecessarily.


"I see." The man ran a hand over his bald head. "And no one's seen her since?" he said, picking up the note on the door, and squinting at it again. He had read it the first time, waited a day, and had come back. She hadn't been at dinner last night, or breakfast today. There hadn't been any classes, because the second years were being introduced to their new familiars, and so he hadn't expected to see her there, but the lack of food, or... or any sign of her existence was getting worrying.


He had been supervising the class. He had given her extra help out of lessons, when she had asked. He was partially responsible.


"Some time night before last, sir. I asked people," the porter added, proudly. "Investigatin' and stuff. The kitchen haven't seen her or nothin'."


"Well," the teacher said, after a moment's thought. "Wait here, while I go find a female teacher, who can be present. In fact... no. Yes. If I can find Chevreuse of the Red Clay, she can both remove the hinges from the walls, and also provide the needed chaperonage for being present in a female student's bedroom. "




{0}​


"Zero! Zero! Zero! You're just nothing, worthless, worthless, useless, useless!"


The figures surround her, dancing mocking her.


And then they evaporate, the skeletons lit for a moment in green fire before they too cease to be.


We will give you strength. We will give you worth. They will be nothing compared to you.


We will give you rewards, wealth, pleasure, and above all, We will give you respect. They will never inflict indignities on you nor Us when all is as it should be again.


Just free us and reclaim the world!




{0}​


A careful flick of the wand, and an accompanying incantation, and the stone flowed like wax away from the hinges, leaving the door freestanding, to be carefully lowered down by the porters.


Professor Colbert, wand in hand, winced slightly. Old instincts were screaming at him, that they were horribly exposed by this doorframe, and if there was a hostile mage inside the room, the porters, all commoners, were possibly dead. He suppressed them. That wasn't him anymore, and they were not needed. This was just a student's room, after all; a student who had just failed to summon anything, and who hadn't, perhaps understandably, been seen since, because she'd locked herself in her room, and, if reports were correct, had taken a large plate of food in with her. No wonder she wanted to avoid the other students. They were getting to avoid lessons, to familiarise themselves with their new familiars, and to face them, and face her own failure, would have been nearly impossible.


And, on sound compassionate grounds, it was a bad idea to leave her alone in here, when she both needed to discuss her future properly, and, more tactfully, needed to be prevented from maybe doing something... silly. And terminal.


However, he still stepped through the door with wand raised, knees in their familiar half-crouch, ready to throw himself to the side to allow his supporting unit, which he didn't have, to lob spells through without him blocking their line of sight. Old habits died hard.


And the first thing that drew his attention was the giant brass shell-thing, covered in runes lit in green fire. No. They weren't lit, he realised, the fire mage applying instincts which had developed over all his years of magic. They were fire; roiling, liquid, green fire that was the main source of illumination in the room and which spilled forth to burn out on the stone floor.


"What in God's name is that?" Professor Chevreuse gasped, from somewhere behind him.


Colbert ignored her, and kept his wand trained on the object. "Miss Vallière!" he called out, not looking anywhere else. "Miss Vallière!"


There was no response, from anywhere else in the room.


"Could it be some kind of familiar?" the female teacher asked, poking her head from around the golem of stone which she had made from the floor. "It has runes on it."


"Maybe." The bald man stepped sideways, pacing around the shell-like thing. "That isn't fire. At least not properly," he stated, the persona of the eccentric teacher cast aside in favour of the Flame Snake. "Fire doesn't act like that." He barked a sudden incantation that left the other people watching flinching, and, hand suddenly wreathed in orange flames, the light so much more healthy than the sick green glow, he reached out to touch the shell.


He held the hand there for several seconds, a perplexed look forming on his face.


"Interesting," Colbert said, simply. "That should have melted it. It looks like bronze. It isn't." He cracked his neck, and retracted his hand, shaking it and dispersing the orange fire. "So we have something made of bronze and green fire, which is not made of real bronze or real fire. And no sign of Miss Vallière. I want a secure peri..." he blinked, and remembered himself. "That is to say, there should probably be a conference of as many of the teaching staff so we can try to work out what it is, yes?"


Professor Chevreuse blinked at him, still behind her crude golem. "Yes... yes," she said, looking at her colleague with a new eye.




{0}​


"Who are you!" she screams, leaping up, running along the mountain-jouten, a constant refrain. Her blade is gone, sacrificed in the ploy, but it worked! The others are left behind, holding off the force of the Archon Samaneth, who draws upon her Progenitor and is mighty because of it, but she has broken through to the jouten! It pelted her with rock and pain and the authority born of its nature, but it could not strike her. She screams at it, attacks its identity, and it cannot fight her, for while it is uncertain, it is weak.


And one fist-blow breaks through the last barricade upon the Mountain, to reach the Beast Upon the Mountain, and it is her foe and she is ready.


It is not an eternal testament to its own existence. It relies on others


Her hands fasten around the neck of the titanic being, and she fastens on, squeezing tight and tighter, with force that can split rocks and shatter mountains and she feels the jouten buck and fight under her, but it cannot break free, and it is weak, so weak, and the uncertainty that she forces upon it is imperfect, uncentred.


"Who are you! Tell me who you are!" she roars, as it tries to break free, but cannot, and as its lifeblood of motonic essence flows away, it panics. "What are you without servants, without your thralls! Creation does not remember your name! Who are you! Where are you! What are you! Tell me!"


And then.


A simple snap.


In her head, Louise screams at the cold-blooded murder she's being forced to watch, being forced to participate in, and she recoils. And it's always there, the knowledge that what had just been murdered had been one of the creators of the universe, a being that made gods, and it had been murdered by rebellious, treacherous humans outfitted as pawns by treacherous beings that hated the natural order of Creation.


And blazing like the dawn, she kills it utterly, the rush as it rushes into her, and something screams in her skull about how wrong this is, now that this impossible deed has been done and its in her mind and in her soul and it hurts, an agonised moment of infinity reaching out forever, and...


... and then it is nothing more than a corpse.


"Who are you? You're nothing," she says to the corpse of Mardukth.




{0}​


"So... there's a giant conch-shell of brass and green fire in Miss Vallière's room?"


"Yes," Colbert said, wincing. Only these two men were in his office; his secretary had been sent to check some important documents in the library.


"And there's no sign of her?"


"Yes. No. There isn't a sign of her."


"And the...the thing is large enough to possibly fit a human in?"


"... maybe."


"But... you've had teachers test it with all the elements, and they can't even scratch it?"


"No. Nothing. Even I couldn't touch it."


Osmond sat back. "Could it be her familiar?"


"That's something which I've considered," Colbert admitted. "I'm not entirely sure what a giant brass-and-fire snail would be good for, but... well, it's possible."


"I've sent the porters out to discreetly check the nearby villages," the headmaster stated. "She's distinctive looking, and they should be able to find her if she did run away, or at least follow the trail left by a pink-haired noble."


There was a pause.


"Do... do you want to get Karin involved?" the fire mage asked, hesitantly.


"Do you want to have to explain to the Heavy Wind that we've lost her youngest daughter after she failed to summon a familiar?"


"... your point is taken." The teacher shrugged. "I'm working on the runes on the shell," he admitted, "and I've suggested to the other teachers that we should always have someone keeping an eye on it. For one, it is burning with green fire. Which is not proper fire."


"Sensible." Osmond narrowed his eyes. "Have two there. At all times. Cut back on the second year lessons, tell them they're getting to know their familiars. We don't want the Vallières angry at us, but we also don't want some kind of giant snail of brass and fire eating the school."


"You suspect something." It was not a question.


"I have a bad feeling about this," the old man confirmed. "I haven't felt like this in... years."




{0}​


Days passed, and nothing changed.


All attempts by other students to find out what was happening were brushed aside, with a certain disdain which didn't seem to respect that they were nobles at all.


No sign of Louise. No change in the thing in her quarters. The vigil was maintained, and the search continued.




{0}​


See all this monstrosity the voice says to her, proud and mighty, a king among gods and more than that. See! Watch! See all that was put wrong. See that the gods are in Our heaven and all is wrong with Creation! See the depravities inflicted on Us! We are like you, we have been wronged, and wronged mightily! You will free Us! You will obey, and you will make the world as it shall be!

The unfelt presence of brass and fire feels safe to Louise, feels... like her mother, strong and something to admire. Something that she should try to be like, and above that, something that she can be like.

We have given you power. We have given you instructions. You will make Creation as it should be, and We can have Our revenge, and you can have yours.


So go. Go in Our name. Go, and be Our Left Hand and take up Our Blade and don Our Crown.


And free Us!




{0}​


Carefully balancing her tray, a maid manoeuvred her way up the stairs to where the second year students had their rooms. It was unusually quiet up here, Siesta thought, her shoes clicking against the stone flooring. Maybe the other students had got bored at staring at the curtained off door, and the constant presence of at least one teacher there, who point-blank refused to let anyone through, no matter how nicely they asked. They had even temporarily blocked off the windows, Earth mages warping the walls until they were just a smooth surface, to stop pupils from flying to peek in from the outside. It was certainly clear which room the... thing had happened in, because there were velvet ropes sealing it off.


Humming an old folk tune her mother had taught her, she stepped around the rather formal barricade, and knocked at the door, waiting to actually be told to come in.


"Who is it?" a teacher called from within.


"I... I was told to bring food up for the teachers here, who missed dinner," Siesta said, trying to keep her voice under control. "I'm... I'm from the serving staff."


The door was pulled open a crack, a suspicious eye glaring through, before the teacher relaxed, and opened the door wider. "Don't worry," Professor Martin called back. "It's actually a maid this time. And..." her eyes flicked down, to the covered platters in the girl's hands, "... she has food."


"Actually a maid?" Siesta ventured, eyes widening slightly as she realised what she'd said. She wasn't meant to draw attention to herself.


The teacher, a plump middle-aged woman, didn't seem to mind or feel like taking offence. "Oh, some of the students have been trying to get inside to look at this," she said, pointing at the... Siesta boggled slightly, and tried to cover the fact that she was staring. Professor Martin was pointing at a man-sized brass shell, odd shapes in green fire running across the surface. "Um. You didn't see that," she added, hastily.


"See what, ma'am?" the maid asked.


"That giant weird brass and fire th... oh, right. I see. Yes, good girl."


"Where do you wish," Siesta lifted the platter slightly, "this to be put?"


"Oh, on the table by the shell-thing. What is it?"


"I was instructed to bring you a selection from what was served for dinner. This includes meats..."


"What kind of meat?" the bald man sitting in the armchair asked.


"Uh... I believe there is partridge, quail, goose and pork, cooked with a variety of dressings, and..."


"What kind of dressings?"


"Oh, in Founder's name, Pierre, just let her put down the food and we can eat," Professor Martin snapped at her colleague. "She bought wine, too," she added, with a smile. "I'll have to thank the..."


There was a snapping noise, loud, and somehow both akin to shattering glass and a breaking bone.


"What was that?"


The conch-like protrusion suddenly glowed with an inner radiance, which shone its sick light over the entire room. In the sudden viridescence, everything seemed wan, faint, far less real than the terrible, blinding cracks that spread across the brass. Each time the light spread, the noise sounded again, and the male teacher flinched, hands jerking up to cover his ears. The heat was pouring off the chrysalis, and some paper notes on the table by it ignited, their orange, smoky flames bleeding to green as the light shone on them.


The breaking became a cacophony, a syllabic shattering, which was punctured by the sound of metal on stone, as the outer layer fell apart, to reveal the inner core of green fire. An inner core which burned around the solitary, naked figure of a teenage girl, who, eyes wide open, pupils dilated, broke her way out of the shell of brass, the previously impervious metal shattering like poorly baked clay to her slightly pressure.


And then the green fire died away, and it was merely a naked, dazed-looking Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière who stood before them, eyes blinking in the light.


In the silence afterwards, the smash and clatter of the dropped food was exceptionally loud, as, gasping for breath, Siesta pointed with a trembling hand at the burning symbol in the centre of the girl's forehead. Even as she did so, it vanished, all too quickly. The maid's lips twitched, stammering, wobbling, as she tried to form a word.


Louise licked her lips. "What... what are you doing in my room?" she asked, a slight note of outrage present. The offence vanished as she squeaked, hands going to cover herself, as she realised that she was naked in front of not one, but two teachers, and one of the help.


Then the shouting started.




{0}​


Slowly, carefully, Professor Colbert turned the page of the ancient book, his gloved hand careful around the tweezers. This book was ancient, in the restricted section of the teacher's library, and even then he had needed to get the headmaster's express permission to remove it from its protected case. It was not that it was exceptionally rare, though it was; it was simply that it was of such age, that he could not even touch it without it being damaged. It was old enough that the Earth spells on it, to maintain its physical integrity, were failing, and no-one had got around to repairing them yet.


And he was beginning to suspect that the original text was even older. The text... he could see a vague, distant relationship to the runes normally displayed by familiars, but if they were runes, these were pictograms, ideograms, an altogether more primitive form of script. But, luckily, and then again, not so luckily, someone had gone through this ancient, priceless book, perhaps when it was being written, and added a transcription in the ancestor-script of the modern runes, the crude ink vandalising the original. With a second reference source, to shift from those runes into a modern language, he was making slow, agonising progress on the work.


The man sighed, and wiped his brow on his sleeve. He knew all about the flaws of transcription through a second language. But, hopefully, it was functional, because, at the very least, his own translation of the symbols seemed to make sense.


Well, mostly. The floor was littered with crossings out, and discarded attempts. He made a note on his reference pad, and looked back at the current version.


The Scripture of the One-Handed Maiden


Once there was a maiden...

... who struck an iron wall until it shattered her hand.

She did not stop, though cracks spread throughout her bones.

She did not stop, though blood sprayed her eyes.

She did not stop until she shattered the wall.


Fingers feeling numb, Colbert wrote the last line, his pen strokes slow, and somewhat shaky.


"Survival is Fury," she said.



{0}​
 
EarthScorpion said:
Heh. I do wonder what the First Louise Excellency will look like. :D
Louise is anxious,self-consciousand given to extreme depression when faced with the scorn her her peers and superiors.

She is an endless well of self-doubt desperately struggling for the recognition and approval of those around her. She is driven to assuage her own feelings of inadequacy by tormenting her inferiors, but takes no joy in doing so. She takes small comfort in the knowledge that she will always be superior to mere commoners, despite her failures.

The endless void in her heart years for respect, love , and devotion but can never be filled sufficiently.


Characters may apply this Charm to any actions with which they attempt to inspire either admiration, respect, or fear, in others. This Excellency is only applicable if others know of her actions, or have reason to know of them. Immediate witnesses are not necessary, so long as she sincerely believes that someone knows she is attempting a task then this Excellency applies. If she is sent off to perform a mission alone then this Excellency can be applied to actions related to completing that mission, for example. It does not not apply to acts attempted without anyone's knowledge, even if she intends to tell others about them, or if she intends to kill the only witnesses (such as during lethal combat where the only witnesses are her opponents).

Imperfection of the Moe Void.
Louise desperately needs the approval and respect of others. Defenses with this Imperfection are inapplicable if the Infernal has been insulted or put down by someone with whom she has an Intimacy (Positive or Negative) at any time during the current scene.
 
That Excellency and Imperfection looks good to me. Nice job. And as for the story.... I don't actually have enough limbs to give you the needed amount of thumbs up. That Scripture seems really apt.
 
Well, damn. If her shard's past life is showing up that clearly I'd be surprised if there was any confusion at all over which universe is which when Louise has the time to seriously process all this.


Can't wait to see her explanation to her teachers. It should prove amusing.
 
Great Chapter. I look forward to the next one.

Pharohman777 said:
I don't know too much about exalted, only what I read, but from what you wrote, it seems that Louise's past life broke herself by slaying Her creator's creator? That was the 'impossible deed'? So Malfeas sided the primordials them in the civil war, against those who won and slew the Primordials, and ended up being imprisoned for it?
Malfeas, Louise's Patron, was King of the Primordials. The Gods created the Exalted specifically to defeat the Primordials, because the Gods were bound by geasa that presented them from fighting their creators.

During the war, several Primordials were killed (this was completely impossible before the development of Ghost-Eating Technique) and the rest surrendered in fear. They were crippled and forced to swear oaths that bound them inside Malfeas's body. There isn't a lock on Malfeas, anyone inside can leave any time, but the Yozi's nature makes it impossible for them to violate their oaths, no matter how much they want to.

The Solars then attempted to create a utopia in paradise. They failed due to their own human frailties and a curse put on them by the slain Primordials (which drives all Solars crazy, to varying degrees). In order to prevent a bunch of crazy Solars from destroying Creation (an inevitability without intervention) the Sidereals crafted the Jade Prison to hold the Solar Exaltations and then convinced the Dragon-Blooded to assassinate all the Solars.

Louise's past self was killed in the Ursupation and trapped in the Jade Prison for centuries, untill the Yozi discovered its locations and made a deal with their undead siblings (Primordials can't be reincarnated, so they become Neverborn when they die, which is very bad) to break open the cage and share the Exaltations that they can catch.
When they were splitting up the Exaltations, Louise's went to Malfeas. Malfeas modified it to suit his tastes and then gave it to a demon with orders to implant it in a suitable champion.

Her past life wasn't imprisoned for being sympathetic to the Primordials. She was murdered for being a Solar, as all the Solars were. But it is apparent that she was one of the few to personally slay a Primordial.
 
Seems that this is confirmation that Merela is Louise's past life though, that was her infamous "Strangle a Primordial to Death" thing that she was super famous for.


Poor Mardukth though :( He didn't deserve to forget he was Mardukth!
 
Too bare-bones, Randombugger.

The not quite so abbreviated version. In the beginning, the Primordials created everything. They called it Creation. They then created the gods to serve them and in such a way that they could not rebel. They then pretty much did whatever they wanted, but mostly played the Great Game and messed up parts of Creation when they played. Mortals got squished/flamed/transfigured and lot.

The most powerful of the Gods, the Unconquered Sun really didn't like it, but could not rebel directly. So he, some other very powerful gods and three renegade Primordials cooked up a scheme. They made servants that could fight the Primordials in their stead.

These are the Exalted. The Solars (chosen of the Unconquered Sun), the Lunars (chosen of Luna a primordial), the Sidereal (chosen of the 5 sister gods) and then finally the Dragonblooded (the terrestrial exalted chosen of the primordial Gaia through her five elemental dragons). That's roughly in power from greatest to least. The Alchemical Exalted were added later (retcon) and they were the Exalted of a Primordial known as Achtethon(SP?).

The Solars led all of the Exalted and defeated the Primordials. Those that surrendered were forced to take oaths that changed their nature into the Yozi; Demon Lords bound into a hell created from the leader of the Primordials body turned inside out (essentially, but much more complicated really.) The killed Primordials fell into the Underworld and became the Neverborn and dreamed in death of the destruction of creation.

The Sidereals eventually overthrew the Solars as they became corrupted by the vengeance curse of the Primordials and bound almost all the reincarnation exaltation into a prison. The Lunars were forced to flee and the Dragonblooded were 'given' rulership of Creation. The Unconquered Sun was not thrilled with any of this and turned away from all the Exalted. (The Alchemicals followed their Primordial into an exile into an other-place.)

The Neverborn and the Yozi finally cooked up a plan to take over reality. They would steal the bound Solar exaltations and turn them into their own form of Exaltations; the Abyssals and the Green Sun Princes.

Except they miscalculated and only got half of the Solars bound in the prison. The others escaped into reality. In Exalted, you start as one of those Solars, hated and reviled and working to save yourself and eventually Creation from the badguys.

Which is almost everyone out to get you, basically.
 
Hmm. I thought I'd read something that (s)he was also a primordial to begin with, but that could have been really old information in my brain.
 
A note is that the Solars did create a utopia for a long time. The First age lasted for several thousand years, after all. It just started slowly going to hell as the Curse made Solars start going crazy and corrupt. Eventually, it got so bad that they offended the Unconquered Sun to the point where he turned his back on the world. Shortly afterwards (within a few hundred years) the Solars were killed off via surprise attack and overwhelming numbers.
 
Pharohman777 said:
Ah, so Malfeas=Mata Mui's body

and

Yozi=Toa and Matoran


And the Primordials who were 'Killed' became something like Undead, only on a much larger scale, and more bizzare, since they merely become Neverborn if killed.


Never Born= what undeath would be like for a god
Its a bit more complicated. Primordials are simultaneously dimensions unto themselves, concepts, individuals, and groups. Malfeas is the prison they are all within, but he is also the Brass city which serves as the capitol of Malfeas, and its sun, and a crazy dancer, and a couple other things. By way of contrast, Celycene is the endless desert that makes up the edge of Malfeas, among other things, and Kimbery is also an ocean of acid.


The only thing keeping them imprisoned is their surrender oath. The reason it keeps them imprisoned is that if they break their sworn word, they cease to be the being that swore that oath. Death of personality, as it were. A new being, of equivalent power and similar nature would still exist afterword, but it would not be the same being that was imprisoned.


It is in fact that same level of oath that the gods swore they would never rebel or harm their creators. The creation of the exalted was their workaround, and I'm sure the yozi find it particularly ironic to try to do the same with their conversion of solars into yozi exalted.


Interestingly, the first age book mentions that two additional primordials, other than Gaia and Authocthon, were neither killed nor imprisoned in Malfeas. Instead they fled for the infinite chaos of the deep wyld One returned at the height of the First Age, and promptly was handed his head by the Solar Deliberative. The fate of the last free, hostile primordial was deliberately left undefined.


Being that Primordials are also places, it is possible that said lost one's name is now Halkeginia?
 
Quite possibly.


It's also possible that the humans of Halkeginia were Primordial Loyalists who sided with the Creators of the Universe in the Titanomachy, and were brought with it when it escaped.


Or possibly an earlier pet project of theirs?


Who can divine the mind of the EarthScorpion? All I can say is that I eagerly await the next part of the story :3
 
Basically, the Fetich is the "Heart" of the gestalt network that is a Primordial. It serves as the "Anchor" of sorts that allows it to operate as a self-aware being. This doesn't mean the Fetich is the actual Primordial's consciousness of course. It's really kind of weird, but a Primordial without a Fetich is a non-sapient pool of Essence that's incapable of taking any action, save accumulating enough Essence to spawn a new Fetich, which must occur before the Primordial can gain self-awareness again.


By this point, the previous being doesn't exist anymore, and the new Primordial has very little to do with the old one. Adrian was the River of All Torments, an incalculably vast river full of all kinds of nasty stuff, who could never be properly followed by any other being. Upon suffering Fetich death, Adrian became Adorjan, a Wind defined by it's own silence. Both were playful and fairly destructive to anything that entered them, but Adrian actually had a full grasp on her facilities, while Adorjan is defined by an overwhelming need to share her enlightenment (Buddhist Joker is one of the simplest ways of describing it) with the universe. Not to mention being a localized entity, as opposed to an enormous living border.


So yeah, Fetiches are pretty important. It's why it's such a big deal that the Holy Tyrant had two of them. Because one of them was never killed (Ligier), it ensured that he retained continuity between Malfeas That Was, and the Demon City, even if he has but a shade of his former might.
 
Her past life is Merela? Well, it was nice knowing Louise.


I had an idea a lot like this, though in my version Louise successfully summons a Lunar Exalt as her familiar.


"But I wanted a manticore!"


"Hmmm... I can do that. Does anybody have one to spare?"


And then at the Fields of Tabres she unlocks the power of the Void...


By casting Arisen Legion.


------------

Epsilon
 
Alectai said:
Seems that this is confirmation that Merela is Louise's past life though, that was her infamous "Strangle a Primordial to Death" thing that she was super famous for.

Poor Mardukth though :( He didn't deserve to forget he was Mardukth!
Yep. Of course, at least from the point of view of AGSItV, what it actually more resembled was her coup-de-grace-ing a largely mote-tapped Primordial, who'd had most of his Third Circles bumped off (and, foolishly, had tried to regrow them), had been betrayed by Graamalkin, who'd defected to Luna, and Mardukth had a Titanic Imperfection which raised the cost of his defences when people challenged/refused to accept his identity (which is also how he-who-becomes-Malfeas beat him up, because Malfeas has Super Solipsism as an entire Charm tree).

Basically, she won because they'd stacked the battle in their favour horribly. And because of Solar Hero Style Expansions, don't forget them. And because of her bestest buddy ever, who she was fighting along side. Bright Shattered Ice. Yay!

And we know that He Who Holds In Thrall forgets his name, just like all the other Neverborn. :p

...

Of course, compare and contrast Merela's constant work at expanding Meru once she'd been marginalised, and her obsession with making her tomb (which was getting city-sized by the time of the Usurpation), to the way that Malfeas constantly grows fresh layers to try to make it stop hurting and to stop Ceclynene from choking the Demon City, and how he has a jouten which is a tomb.

Stormgear said:
Not just any old primordial, but Mardukth, the Black Beast on the Mountain. Mardukth is significant because it was the Big Boss before Malfeas was carried over and declared himself king.

Besides Isidoros, Mardukth is pretty much the only thing that can go toe to toe with ol' Mal and be a decent challenge. So, yeah, that was a nice touch.
So... the shard which killed Mardukth who was King before Malfeas is now a mini-Malfeas (with the potential to become him fully) and was originally made by the Sun, who is basically Malfeas' son, and in its past life, was fucking the Sun, and had children by him.

Oh, Exalted family relationships. Louise, look what you've just stumbled into. :D
 
EarthScorpion said:
Yep. Of course, at least from the point of view of AGSItV, what it actually more resembled was her coup-de-grace-ing a largely mote-tapped Primordial, who'd had most of his Third Circles bumped off (and, foolishly, had tried to regrow them), had been betrayed by Graamalkin, who'd defected to Luna, and Mardukth had a Titanic Imperfection which raised the cost of his defences when people challenged/refused to accept his identity (which is also how he-who-becomes-Malfeas beat him up, because Malfeas has Super Solipsism as an entire Charm tree).

Basically, she won because they'd stacked the battle in their favour horribly. And because of Solar Hero Style Expansions, don't forget them. And because of her bestest buddy ever, who she was fighting along side. Bright Shattered Ice. Yay!
I can imagine that whole scene now.

Mardukth: Do You Know, Who I AM?

Empyreal Chaos: NO, I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE, WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY?

Mardukth: :(

Putting the bit of RP aside, yes, you're absolutely right about the whole Solar Hero Expansions bit doing horrific things. One guy I know of managed--at Essence 5--to deal about 200 health levels of damage in a single clinch using just canonical charms, to an island sized behemoth. If Mardukth was mote tapped, then it's little wonder he got shaken into next week by the Solar Queen.

Is there more coming in Chapter 2? Or was it just that one post, and we must now wait a lengthy time period before Chapter 3 comes along?
 
That was the one I was talking about! I remember everyone freaking out, as I was trying to get my Transhumanist Defiler Engineer sanctioned at the time.


Sadly, ExaltedMU just never really clicked with me, despite several attempts to join up. It's just missing something that keeps me from getting really attached, and this saddens me.
 
Jonen C said:
... Siesta's reaction strikes me as ominous.
Fun fact that a lot of people tend to forget! Staring right into the Caste Mark of a Primordial Exalt can... Do things to ordinary mortals.

Louise's first cultist? Who knows!
 
Back
Top