- Location
- Leeds
I think 2000 is long dead. Like 8000 Mikasas dead.
A Certain Droll Hivemind (A Certain Magical Index)
- Thread starter EarthScorpion
- Start date
Guile
Having a really great time right now
Also in uniform, probably.
This is a given. But is the funny quadratic or exponential?
It's not like they have a large pool of knowledge to draw metaphors from, Testament aside.
TheLastOne
Person of impeccable tastes (for destruction)
It's logarithmic, obviously. The second Misaka (The Original), significantly added to the humor of the situation, with ongoing conequences of funny.
The third, Misaka-10901, added humor, but not as much nor as persistant humor as adding the Original.
By the time we get to Misaka-10032, the humor has grown, but at a significantly reduced rate.
It is obvious, then. The relationship between humor and Misaka is a log function, and this clearly is an objective opinion that can be proven mathematically.
- Location
- Argentina
Misaka-19999 works at a Cafe in Taiwan as she is one of the few sisters who is competent enough to hold a job. And she won't give you a discount.
Entry 29
Entry 29
I am now back at home. I am writing my diary myself. I no longer have to rely on Misaka-10901 to transcribe my thoughts. Now there will be no more cruel and mean comments interjected by my sisters when I am writing my private diary.
Misaka-20001 believes that those comments are the best bits. Misaka-20001 is the worst Misaka. She also refuses to stop reading my diary through my eyes, because she is terrible. She claims it is because she is bored floating in a tank with nothing to do.
No. It is because she is terrible.
The original dragged 10032 and me into a bathroom which was mostly intact and made us wash up. She returned with new clothes for me. She assured us that she paid for them, despite the fact that all the shop staff have run away. We choose to believe her, because for all that the original is immature and fond of violence, she is a good person.
After that, she went to track down and distract the Teleporter so she could not kill us. 10032 left out a window, while I let myself be found by one of the Anti-Skill teams who were securing the building.
Once they had verified my identity and I had explained that I was not Misaka Mikoto and that it was simply a coincidence that I looked like her, had the same surname and was also an Elecromaster, I was taken outside and wrapped in a warm blanket. The medical staff thought I was going into shock because they are reactionaries who are opposed to more efficient modes of communication. They are also unable to read emotions, despite the fact that I was telling them "'I am feeling emotions,' Misaka says angrily." Clearly the training for paramedics in Academy City is substandard.
Eventually they followed my instructions to call my speech therapist, and were persuaded that the Network's superior mode of speech was not a form of trauma. I was released from my custody in a tent.
My flatmates were waiting for me outside. Koizumi Kyoko started crying when she saw me. The Network does not understand why my presence made her sad.
"Never do that again!" Aino Sumiko shouted at me. "Never ever ever!"
We believe she was angry. Perhaps she was concerned that I might increase in rank from my experience against Russian mercenaries.
Abe Eiko reached over and squeezed my hand. "See! I told you she'd be fine. She just went with a boy who was also trying to get out of there, right?"
I nodded. "'I met a boy,' Misaka confirms," I confirmed. That is true. "'Then I was found by Anti Skill. They took me outside. They would not believe that I always talk like this. They thought I was in shock and made me sit somewhere quiet wrapped in a blanket and kept on trying to talk to me,' she adds, outrage clear in her voice," I added.
"You… you… you…" spluttered Aino Sumiko. She was very angry.
"Look, if you can only shout, just don't say anything, 'kay," Abe Eiko said firmly. She wrapped one arm around my shoulders. "Come on, Misa-Misa. Let's get you home before 'Yoko faints again."
"'She would be heavy to carry all the way back,' Misaka says," I agreed.
Koizumi Kyoko turned red at that. It was hard to tell, because she was also red from crying. I hoped we would not have to carry her.
Fortunately she did not pass out on the way back. The Network observed that Abe Eiko was the only one who was acting normally. Koizumi Kyoko kept on bursting into tears and Aino Sumoko was sometimes angry and sometimes very quiet and pale. We were not sure why they are acting so irrationally, so we took the original's advice and asked Abe Eiko when the two of us were making noodle-soup in the kitchen.
Abe Eiko shrugged and looked at me. "They've never been in a real-real fight before, Misa-Misa," she said with a shrug. "Don't you remember how it was before they started the treatments?"
"'No,' Misaka says honestly," I said. There was never a me before the Testament package was instantiated in the 11111th Misaka-geneline clone to be connected to the Network. "'I do not understand why they act the way they do. It is confusing,' she says simply," I said.
"Don't envy you your head," Abe Eiko muttered. "Look… normal people freak out when fights start."
"'But Kamijou Touma does not '''freak out''',' Misaka points out."
"Who?"
"'He beat you up multiple times,' Misaka reminds Abe Eiko," I reminded her.
"... is that his name. Grr." Abe Eiko glared. "That freak is not normal," she hissed. "Normal people can't punch out my knives."
That is true. Most people cannot punch knives. The Network corrects me that most people can punch knives, but will injure their hands.
"So why do you know his name?" Abe Eiko asked.
"'Because he told it to me,' Misaka says," I said.
Abe Eiko sighed. "Did he hurt you?"
"'No. He has never hit me,' Misaka says," I said.
"Huh. Lucky you. Every time he met me, he punched me," Abe Eiko said, shrugging. "I mean, apart from the one time I fell off scaffolding because the pale fainting girl he was defending... can you believe it, she threw a rock at me? All I did was try to stab her! That wasn't fun. Pass me the chopping board and I'll cut the spring onions."
She is very good with knives. I keep an eye on her hands.
The soup is quite good.
Now I am in my room, updating and compiling my diary. I am now up to date, and that has allowed me to try to fix my goggles.
My goggles are broken. They were too close to Misaka Mikoto when she used her railgun power, and as a result all the CCDs were destroyed. It can no longer detect electromagnetic fields. Even the lights have stopped working. It is functionally useless. Putting it on just means I cannot see anything.
I consider if I could borrow one from any of my sisters, but the Network has informed me that I will not be permitted to do so. My sisters are so cruel.
I will secure an equipment form from Academy City and ask for a new one to be issued. Apparently it will take four to six months, going by what the scientists said when they were complaining about how hard it is to get a replacement for broken machinery. I believe it is highly inefficient for it to take over half someone's lifetime to be issued a replacement set of equipment, but this is just how things apparently are.
Maybe it is more tolerable to wait four-to-six months when you are thirty than when you are one.
Tomorrow I am going to have to try to reclaim my new clothes. They were left behind in the shop. I am not sure how to do this. Anti Skill will control the mall so I will need to talk to them, but the Network is not sure how to persuade them to let me have my shopping back. Koizumi Kyoko is bad at communication, and Abe Eiko does not get on well with authority figures like teachers and people who do not want you to steal from vending machines.
I may have to ask Aino Sumiko for help. There will be shouting.
I am now back at home. I am writing my diary myself. I no longer have to rely on Misaka-10901 to transcribe my thoughts. Now there will be no more cruel and mean comments interjected by my sisters when I am writing my private diary.
Misaka-20001 believes that those comments are the best bits. Misaka-20001 is the worst Misaka. She also refuses to stop reading my diary through my eyes, because she is terrible. She claims it is because she is bored floating in a tank with nothing to do.
No. It is because she is terrible.
The original dragged 10032 and me into a bathroom which was mostly intact and made us wash up. She returned with new clothes for me. She assured us that she paid for them, despite the fact that all the shop staff have run away. We choose to believe her, because for all that the original is immature and fond of violence, she is a good person.
After that, she went to track down and distract the Teleporter so she could not kill us. 10032 left out a window, while I let myself be found by one of the Anti-Skill teams who were securing the building.
Once they had verified my identity and I had explained that I was not Misaka Mikoto and that it was simply a coincidence that I looked like her, had the same surname and was also an Elecromaster, I was taken outside and wrapped in a warm blanket. The medical staff thought I was going into shock because they are reactionaries who are opposed to more efficient modes of communication. They are also unable to read emotions, despite the fact that I was telling them "'I am feeling emotions,' Misaka says angrily." Clearly the training for paramedics in Academy City is substandard.
Eventually they followed my instructions to call my speech therapist, and were persuaded that the Network's superior mode of speech was not a form of trauma. I was released from my custody in a tent.
My flatmates were waiting for me outside. Koizumi Kyoko started crying when she saw me. The Network does not understand why my presence made her sad.
"Never do that again!" Aino Sumiko shouted at me. "Never ever ever!"
We believe she was angry. Perhaps she was concerned that I might increase in rank from my experience against Russian mercenaries.
Abe Eiko reached over and squeezed my hand. "See! I told you she'd be fine. She just went with a boy who was also trying to get out of there, right?"
I nodded. "'I met a boy,' Misaka confirms," I confirmed. That is true. "'Then I was found by Anti Skill. They took me outside. They would not believe that I always talk like this. They thought I was in shock and made me sit somewhere quiet wrapped in a blanket and kept on trying to talk to me,' she adds, outrage clear in her voice," I added.
"You… you… you…" spluttered Aino Sumiko. She was very angry.
"Look, if you can only shout, just don't say anything, 'kay," Abe Eiko said firmly. She wrapped one arm around my shoulders. "Come on, Misa-Misa. Let's get you home before 'Yoko faints again."
"'She would be heavy to carry all the way back,' Misaka says," I agreed.
Koizumi Kyoko turned red at that. It was hard to tell, because she was also red from crying. I hoped we would not have to carry her.
Fortunately she did not pass out on the way back. The Network observed that Abe Eiko was the only one who was acting normally. Koizumi Kyoko kept on bursting into tears and Aino Sumoko was sometimes angry and sometimes very quiet and pale. We were not sure why they are acting so irrationally, so we took the original's advice and asked Abe Eiko when the two of us were making noodle-soup in the kitchen.
Abe Eiko shrugged and looked at me. "They've never been in a real-real fight before, Misa-Misa," she said with a shrug. "Don't you remember how it was before they started the treatments?"
"'No,' Misaka says honestly," I said. There was never a me before the Testament package was instantiated in the 11111th Misaka-geneline clone to be connected to the Network. "'I do not understand why they act the way they do. It is confusing,' she says simply," I said.
"Don't envy you your head," Abe Eiko muttered. "Look… normal people freak out when fights start."
"'But Kamijou Touma does not '''freak out''',' Misaka points out."
"Who?"
"'He beat you up multiple times,' Misaka reminds Abe Eiko," I reminded her.
"... is that his name. Grr." Abe Eiko glared. "That freak is not normal," she hissed. "Normal people can't punch out my knives."
That is true. Most people cannot punch knives. The Network corrects me that most people can punch knives, but will injure their hands.
"So why do you know his name?" Abe Eiko asked.
"'Because he told it to me,' Misaka says," I said.
Abe Eiko sighed. "Did he hurt you?"
"'No. He has never hit me,' Misaka says," I said.
"Huh. Lucky you. Every time he met me, he punched me," Abe Eiko said, shrugging. "I mean, apart from the one time I fell off scaffolding because the pale fainting girl he was defending... can you believe it, she threw a rock at me? All I did was try to stab her! That wasn't fun. Pass me the chopping board and I'll cut the spring onions."
She is very good with knives. I keep an eye on her hands.
The soup is quite good.
Now I am in my room, updating and compiling my diary. I am now up to date, and that has allowed me to try to fix my goggles.
My goggles are broken. They were too close to Misaka Mikoto when she used her railgun power, and as a result all the CCDs were destroyed. It can no longer detect electromagnetic fields. Even the lights have stopped working. It is functionally useless. Putting it on just means I cannot see anything.
I consider if I could borrow one from any of my sisters, but the Network has informed me that I will not be permitted to do so. My sisters are so cruel.
I will secure an equipment form from Academy City and ask for a new one to be issued. Apparently it will take four to six months, going by what the scientists said when they were complaining about how hard it is to get a replacement for broken machinery. I believe it is highly inefficient for it to take over half someone's lifetime to be issued a replacement set of equipment, but this is just how things apparently are.
Maybe it is more tolerable to wait four-to-six months when you are thirty than when you are one.
Tomorrow I am going to have to try to reclaim my new clothes. They were left behind in the shop. I am not sure how to do this. Anti Skill will control the mall so I will need to talk to them, but the Network is not sure how to persuade them to let me have my shopping back. Koizumi Kyoko is bad at communication, and Abe Eiko does not get on well with authority figures like teachers and people who do not want you to steal from vending machines.
I may have to ask Aino Sumiko for help. There will be shouting.
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Revlid
blob of bugs
- Location
- England
Wow, that's actually a little bit heartbreaking, there.
- Location
- Telmar
Surprise feels are bad. Don't do it again EarthScorpion
Jonen C
F.M.D.G.
- Location
- Lincopense, Ostrogothia, Suecia
- Location
- United States
I'm not sure he was trying for "half of one's remaining life" there (which I assume is where the feels come from)-- I got the impression from the later comment about her age that it was half of her current life she was talking about.
Aranfan
Team Plasma Grunt
I thought 20001 was Last Order, not WORST?
- Location
- The sixth circle of Hell (second on weekends)
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Yeah, half the average lifespan of a MISAKA sister is less than that.
Jonen C say convincingly.
It's feels either way. >.>
- Location
- United States
Different kind of feels though-- one is the wonder and potential of a life not yet lived, the other is, well... not.
I dunno. "I'm a one year old girl, and I've spent most of that running for my life."Different kind of feels though-- one is the wonder and potential of a life not yet lived, the other is, well... not.
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
I just realised, while reading this chapter, that the Misakas in fact are well-adjusted girls whose approach to life is completely appropriate to their situation. Even Yui's assumption that her roommates may be out to kill her isn't as unreasonable as I'd first thought. It isn't currently true, but it easily could have been.
This made me sad.
This made me sad.
Dud run, run now. Run while the time difference still gives you the lead.
- Location
- Argentina
Misaka-19999 might be a bit of a troll and Misaka-20000 likes to play along?
Pretty sure EarthScorpion has said on multiple occasions not to do omakes.
Oh dear.
So, I know my memetic hatred of omakes has reached apocalyptic, biblical, and possibly Ceiling Cattish levels (so high it's meant to be), and honestly I'm a bit surprised where that came from. As far as I can tell, it's because I told someone who'd written a pretty shitty "Taylor curbstomps her bullies with her powers" thing in the Imago thread to take it to the main Worm writing thread. I didn't go on a rant. I just told them to take it elsewhere.
From this I am apparently the Omake Hulk, who turns into a giant paper-skinned monster and flips out at the sight of a comic skit.
Do I like omakes? Well, this may sound unbearably smug and annoying, but I like good ones. I will reluctantly tolerate mediocre ones, and I will likely frown on bad ones. Yes, I want people to write good things because they were inspired by me. Shocking, right? But what's good? Well, that's always a "I'll know it when I see it" thing. If you can devise an objective set of criteria for quality for literature, please tell me and give me full rights over the discovery so I can probably win every award ever. I'm certainly not excessively friendly to them, though of course I'd hardly complain at well-written things. I would complain at poorly written things, but that's because I'm a... oh, how have people put it? A literary snob?
This is just on the topic of "omakes", of course - which is to say, other people's stories posted in my thread. Now, of course, as I've told many people who've PMed me over the years - if you want to use stuff I made up for a fic of your own, there's literally no need to ask. Feel free, my man/woman/whatever you feel. I'm a fanfic writer. It would be the height of hypocrisy for me to object to someone who wants to use Misaka-11111 in their own Indexverse fic. Hell, I'll probably take a look at it. Likewise, if your ZnT story wants to use Markgraf BLITZHART VON ZERBST as Kirche's father, why would I have a problem with that? I just stole his character from Lord Flasheart - it's hardly subtle.
But just, please, consider whether it should really go in my thread rather than some shared writing space.
Really, that's what I consider it to come down to. A writing thread exists for a singular work by a singular author. If they want, they can open it up to other contributors, they can - but I don't believe such permission should be presumed as the default.
(Also, at an aesthetic level, comedy is hard. Of the genres, it has most in common with horror because comedy is all about timing, mood and pacing, just like horror. But a lot of people don't appreciate this, and so write not-very-funny things. The benchmark for good comedy is probably higher than other genres, at least in my opinion, precisely because a lot of people think they can just churn out memes and references and consider it to be comedy.)
So, I know my memetic hatred of omakes has reached apocalyptic, biblical, and possibly Ceiling Cattish levels (so high it's meant to be), and honestly I'm a bit surprised where that came from. As far as I can tell, it's because I told someone who'd written a pretty shitty "Taylor curbstomps her bullies with her powers" thing in the Imago thread to take it to the main Worm writing thread. I didn't go on a rant. I just told them to take it elsewhere.
From this I am apparently the Omake Hulk, who turns into a giant paper-skinned monster and flips out at the sight of a comic skit.
Do I like omakes? Well, this may sound unbearably smug and annoying, but I like good ones. I will reluctantly tolerate mediocre ones, and I will likely frown on bad ones. Yes, I want people to write good things because they were inspired by me. Shocking, right? But what's good? Well, that's always a "I'll know it when I see it" thing. If you can devise an objective set of criteria for quality for literature, please tell me and give me full rights over the discovery so I can probably win every award ever. I'm certainly not excessively friendly to them, though of course I'd hardly complain at well-written things. I would complain at poorly written things, but that's because I'm a... oh, how have people put it? A literary snob?
This is just on the topic of "omakes", of course - which is to say, other people's stories posted in my thread. Now, of course, as I've told many people who've PMed me over the years - if you want to use stuff I made up for a fic of your own, there's literally no need to ask. Feel free, my man/woman/whatever you feel. I'm a fanfic writer. It would be the height of hypocrisy for me to object to someone who wants to use Misaka-11111 in their own Indexverse fic. Hell, I'll probably take a look at it. Likewise, if your ZnT story wants to use Markgraf BLITZHART VON ZERBST as Kirche's father, why would I have a problem with that? I just stole his character from Lord Flasheart - it's hardly subtle.
But just, please, consider whether it should really go in my thread rather than some shared writing space.
Really, that's what I consider it to come down to. A writing thread exists for a singular work by a singular author. If they want, they can open it up to other contributors, they can - but I don't believe such permission should be presumed as the default.
(Also, at an aesthetic level, comedy is hard. Of the genres, it has most in common with horror because comedy is all about timing, mood and pacing, just like horror. But a lot of people don't appreciate this, and so write not-very-funny things. The benchmark for good comedy is probably higher than other genres, at least in my opinion, precisely because a lot of people think they can just churn out memes and references and consider it to be comedy.)
- Location
- Argentina
Big red letters in the first post saying "No Omakes are allowed" would be recommended.
Sucal
The Devil’s Cut
- Location
- Bottom of the barrel
I'm pretty sure his position is closer to "No Bad Omakes are allowed"
How do you know if its a bad?
"Write it, wait until the next morning then see if you still think its funny/entertaining"
- Location
- Argentina
Two things. One, humor is subjective and Two, most people are horrible at seeing their own flaws and mistakes.
So that explains why is so hard to see if something is funny. That's why professional comedians have a test audience for their new stuff and why many of them then to stick to things that works.
And I will stop here because a twelve page explanation on how comedy works tends to have the same effect as explaining the joke.
So that explains why is so hard to see if something is funny. That's why professional comedians have a test audience for their new stuff and why many of them then to stick to things that works.
And I will stop here because a twelve page explanation on how comedy works tends to have the same effect as explaining the joke.
Revlid
blob of bugs
- Location
- England
I stand here shocked and appalled that anyone could even dream of making such an accusation toward you, ES.
Well, maybe not shocked, but definitely appalled.
Well, not appalled, but I do stand here.
Okay, actually, I'm sitting.
LoserThree
Finds writing poorly easy
- Location
- Greater Seattle Area
- Pronouns
- he/him
Significantly, that's why professional comedians have a very high tolerance for rejection.
If one lives in the sort of place that supports a stand up comic community, one might crash a gathering or two of theirs and watch how they interact. They don't need to deal with rejection in order avoid getting shot down, they need to brush it off in order to clear the trees at the end of the runway. Even the failures are thick skinned in ways that we don't see every day. People whose dermal depth is within one standard deviation of the mean are straight fucked.
(And if you post your treatise, please hit me with a PM.)
Oh, and this story continues to be a pleasure to read. For what it's worth, author, please keep up the good work. (And if you ever decide to share more of your other ZnT story or Blue Social that'd be damn fine, too.)
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