Walker of the Yellow Path
Ho There!
- Location
- The Land of Memes
Isn't the Trials story set in Evangelion?
What does it have to do with a To Aru fic, even if the authors of both are friends?
A Certain Droll Hivemind (A Certain Magical Index)
- Thread starter EarthScorpion
- Start date
What does it have to do with a To Aru fic, even if the authors of both are friends?
- Location
- The sixth circle of Hell (second on weekends)
- Pronouns
- She/Her
- Location
- The sixth circle of Hell (second on weekends)
- Pronouns
- She/Her
*runs around panicking*
*crashes into wall*
*falls over*
*crashes into wall*
*falls over*
- Location
- Daybreak
So... Yui is basically Kirima Harasami? No... Wait... That sounds wrong. I'm gonna try and draw, probably incorrect, analogies... Wonder if any are right?
Koizumi Kyoko is Kirima? Yui is Hatchi, 10032 is Rei, Abe Eiko is Sasoriko...
Koizumi Kyoko is Kirima? Abe Eiko is Hatchi, and Yui is Rei? Or something...
Or, Yui is a merger of Kirima, Rei, and Sasoriko, the last is 'cause the both can't cook...
@Walker of the Yellow Path. Bravo! You've made me confused!
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Walker of the Yellow Path
Ho There!
- Location
- The Land of Memes
You're not the only one. I thought the stories were unrelated....So... Yui is basically Kirima Harasami? No... Wait... That sounds wrong. I'm gonna try and draw, probably incorrect, analogies... Wonder if any are right?
Koizumi Kyoko is Kirima? Yui is Hatchi, 10032 is Rei, Abe Eiko is Sasoriko...
Koizumi Kyoko is Kirima? Abe Eiko is Hatchi, and Yui is Rei? Or something...
Or, Yui is a merger of Kirima, Rei, and Sasoriko, the last is 'cause the both can't cook...
@Walker of the Yellow Path. Bravo! You've made me confused!
- Location
- Daybreak
@king208. Bravo! You've made us confused!
***
Now that that was sorta corrected, and having went back to Post 1...
Any bets on if we're gonna see Yui's (speech) therapist any time relatively soon?
Wait. I'm gonna bet that we see Heaven Canceler after this Russian Mercenary Arc. ... Hmm... So, is Last Order still in her tank, or has she escaped/freed herself? It's not like she needs to be out of her tank to talk on the Network...
- Location
- The sixth circle of Hell (second on weekends)
- Pronouns
- She/Her
More seriously, the group we refer to as the "KSE trio" - Kirima, Sasoriko and Emi - from Trials turned out to be a stunningly effective group of distinct characters with fun internal relationships and interactions who tended to not mind being minor characters. So we reused them. Repeatedly. A lot. They're never straight expies; they change to suit their setting, backstory and position. Sometimes wildly - look at Kirsty from Imago - a Kiri without the Mongoose. Or Sasi in Kerisgame, who started as a Sasoriko and then underwent a great many changes to become who she is now. But the basic personality elements are there.
I could probably go into detail about the "core elements" of each of them, actually - it's quite interesting how none of them remain the same through translations in the same way - but this isn't the place for it. Sometimes they're the KSEH quartet, though Hatchi is generally an extra character on top of the core trio, who's rarely integrated directly into the group and more often tends to hang around them and pull or push them places. There are a few recurring jokes and traits we tend to include in the trio every time but swap around who they live in and where they're pointed, too.
In this case, Kyoko is a Type-K, Sumiko is a Type-S and Eiko is a Type-E (you can generally tell by which letters they start with, though not always). Other KSE groups, both written and planned, appear in at least half a dozen other works of ours that I can name off the top of my head, including Imago, Overlady, the Gamesverse, CUaLG and (technically, somewhere in the background where we haven't gone yet) Kerisgame.
This perhaps raises the interesting question: does it count as plagiarism if you're doing it to yourself?
I could probably go into detail about the "core elements" of each of them, actually - it's quite interesting how none of them remain the same through translations in the same way - but this isn't the place for it. Sometimes they're the KSEH quartet, though Hatchi is generally an extra character on top of the core trio, who's rarely integrated directly into the group and more often tends to hang around them and pull or push them places. There are a few recurring jokes and traits we tend to include in the trio every time but swap around who they live in and where they're pointed, too.
In this case, Kyoko is a Type-K, Sumiko is a Type-S and Eiko is a Type-E (you can generally tell by which letters they start with, though not always). Other KSE groups, both written and planned, appear in at least half a dozen other works of ours that I can name off the top of my head, including Imago, Overlady, the Gamesverse, CUaLG and (technically, somewhere in the background where we haven't gone yet) Kerisgame.
This perhaps raises the interesting question: does it count as plagiarism if you're doing it to yourself?
I knew you guys did this but these are the most blatant examples I've seen.
*edit*Also what is CUaLG?
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Ginger Maniac
Subject to Gravity
- Location
- Old Blighty
I wouldn't think so. Done poorly, it'd be creative bankruptcy in my opinion. Done well, it's more like a shout-out / signature / running gag / easter egg / whatever. Not sure of the precise words, sorry. Basically, just a cool little thing that fans can point at and enjoy spotting.
Knowing someone who works in this field, I can say that this is pretty much the case.
Aranfan
Team Plasma Grunt
The college ethics people say yes.
- Location
- Daybreak
Hmm... If the Princess of CUaLG is the Type-S, which I'm guessing, and given that Sasi's also a princess... Then I'm gonna guess that "high-class" is a quality of S-Types, and so, Sumiko is a Rich Girl. ... Or did we already know that by having seen her room? Which is high-class?
Vebyast
Nascent Transhuman
Eh, only if you're writing for a class. Plenty of PhD theses are nothing more than a coherent set of the author's five or ten best papers, concatenated and with framing and an overall goal or common purpose. And a good number of normal conference publications are "we did the same thing again but this time with lasers".
They're a firin' their lazers.
But that does sum up many of my paper throughout my academic career.
Caught up and Let's Go, gotcha. Assuming it's not one of Belle's batch mates, I think Lucy is the Sasiriko since she's short bossy and has a sweet tooth.
On a note that relates to both works es and Aleph sure do write a lot of stuff about unnatural siblings.
Now stuff about a Certain Droll Hivemind.
As someone who has no experience with the source material. More info as to what's actually going on would have helped the first chapter. What's there is fundamentally an infodump about the fact that Misaka 11111 was told to write a journal. There's no action to hook the reader, and you learn almost nothing about the protagonist.
I think that part of the problem here is you're starting in the middle of a story, usually your stuff starts at the beginning. As an example I knew nothing of Zero no Tsukaima or Exalted before reading GSItV but had fewer issues jumping in.
Honestly the second chapter made a better starting point. Not only does stuff happen but you get a better idea of who Misaka is in it. Honestly I would have read the story ages ago if you had lead with chapter 2. I tried reading the story when you first started it but the first chapter put me off enough that I didn't continue.
On to the lead, Misaka's a pretty interesting comedic protagonist. Good idea with having guest writers for the diary as Misaka 11111's voice can get a bit stale if you're reading the chapters back to back. Not that the other network members are very different but they switch up the jokes a bit.
You managed to handle the being Misaka is pain thing well without overdoing it sofar. I've felt a lot of sympathy for her so far. From the drenched in rain bits early to the horrors of the Accelerator I've felt for her alot. Pretty good considering I have no prior reason to care for the character.
Her "verbal tic" is quite annoying though, the doubling of "said" type phrases is something my eyes skip about half the time.
This is a problem twice, first it means I'm likely to miss a joke if one is put in that bit. Then, when my eyes don't just slide off it mangles the flow of the sentence. Hopefully she'll cut back as the story goes on.
As to the KSE trio, the opening chapters had me actually rolling my eyes at how close they were to their Trials characterizations.
This got better when I started thinking about the whole story as a Trials re-telling with different source material. It does work remarkably well in that respect. A third tier nameless character (who is a poorly socialized super powered clone) and her three OC friends have slice of life adventures in a weird town. Wackiness ensues.
Eiko's initial tenderness/understanding towards Misaka 11111 was well handled, and helped to start developing her into an actual character with more than one dimension.
She started going from asshole punk roommate to going out of her way to relate to and stick up for the most emotionally vulnerable roomate.
Though you ruined a little bit when Eiko said she knew about the Misaka's gun. That revelation and her in-battle dialogue effectively reduced her back to being just a fighter who found another fighter to relate to. Which is less interesting than what I thought was going on. Though the fact that I even got so invested in my headcanon shows that you're doing well though.
Kyoko and Sumiko desperately need some character development though, I understand it early so far. But they are extremely bland for how much "screen time" they take up. Especially the comments about how much Sumiko shouts, that joke has been beaten near to death already.
Overall I liked it once I got into it, the comedy has had me laughing consistently, and the drama has worked well so far.
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- Location
- Daybreak
Edit: I like the fighters-relating stuff as they're both Dark Siders. How are they gonna relate to the innocent Light Siders? But then, that sorta needs Raildex Knowledge.
Edit: Huh. How would you have started thus diary while keeping an in-character diary. Would you do an As You Know for your personal diary? Yui isn't used to diary conventions, and AYK diary-ers might lead us to assume other things about her personality that wouldn't be true? ... Personally, if I wasn't stuck on Diary Style, I woulda done excerpts from Level 6 Shift Datasheets to do a quick recap and show Amoral Scientist nature of Academy City, maybe... but then again that's me, having seen your opinion, which changes my previous ideas, and stuff...
End Edits. Ah. Must use Landscape Mobile to get to bottom of writing boxes...
Mmm... I see. Well, I was gonna say that Droll Hivemind is intended for the Raildex Fandom, like how Trials is intended for the Nobody Dies Fandom, like how you don't start reading a book series from the middle... But, I'm not Aleph or ES, so I'm not gonna say anything more until we get their statments of intent?
Also, I thought CUaLG was sort of an obvious acronym, as its in the sig, but sigs don't work on mobile?
Unless its in Landscape... Hmm...
Also, I just skimmed Trials as I'm not a Nobody Dies-er or a NGE-er, I just get my NGE via TVTropes, Infinite Loops, and little bits from everywhere else. But, I wouldn't mind re-reading it when I have more time/patience. Seems pretty good! If I had Nobody Dies knowledge, I guess I'd know precisely who Little Mother is, and be able to keep all the charas apart well.
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SolipsistSerpent
Endlessly Devouring
Really? I think Sumiko's fairly different from Sasoriko, though I can see the similarities in the K-types, the main difference there being protagonist status.
Eh, doesn't bother me any, but that's really down to personal taste.
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Oh the diary format is fine, the explanation for how she was pressed into the diary by her psychologist works, the problem is it's basically the whole first chapter, nothing happens.
If you were to mix it with the second chapter you'd at least have something going on other than complaining about normal speech, then her psychologist, then her Hawaii sister then her lack of coconut juice drink. It is just an exstensive infodump where none of the info is important.
I would say Droll Hivemind isn't just for Raildex fans like I said once I got going it worked well. Even by the end of chapter 2 things were much clearer so it's hardly insurmountable but it was enough to make me avoid the story for quite a while.
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Jonen C
F.M.D.G.
- Location
- Lincopense, Ostrogothia, Suecia
The Writers equivalent of a director who insists on putting those three typecast actors in everything they do.
I'm going to be a bit blunt here: honestly, that means it isn't really being written for you.
Like, you compare it to my other work, but most of my other work tends to be more of a "retelling" than fanfiction exactly. By that I mean I'm using existing characters, but I'm twisting the genre, playing with the setting assumptions, and thus the end product is basically designed to stand alone with no one else having to read the original.
This is blatantly, unashamedly fanfiction. It's totally designed so it could slot in as an OVA or something. Russian magical criminals taking over a shopping mall to try to extract a magician before they get stopped by Touma punching people and Mikoto causing lots of electrical-based collateral damage is just the sort of thing that happens in Academy City on a routine basis. It was born of IRC discussions with @MJ12 Commando where we decided that the emotionless hiveminded clones had more personality than the alleged protagonist and thus should totally get their own spin-off series.
If you're hoping that the Network will give up its distinctive vocal quirk, you're probably going to be disappointed. That'd make them NINO.
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Shanejayell
Yuri Fan without a Pause
- Pronouns
- He
You can watch A Certain Scientific Railgun over on Funimation's site, I think. The manga is out too.
Which protagonist? Toma? Mikoto? Both? Can't be Accelerator, he just got his own spin-off series.
greensun
You shall all burn beneath my light!!!
Touma, ES is of the, not entirely incorrect, opinion that he is as engaging as protagonist as drying wallpaper.
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