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Confused Jackie Chan and Facepalming Picard Counter New
All Instances of Confused Jackie Chan & Facepalming Picard



Total Confused Jackie Chan Tally: VII

1D100 = 6+25+5+10-15 = 31 (The heck? :jackiechan: )
1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat!Fail! 7 (Why do I even bother... :jackiechan:)
1D3+3 = 3+3 => 6! ( :jackiechan: )
:jackiechan: Bro, at this point, the dice just have a mind of their own. And no one can convince me otherwise.
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = Nat! 97+20+10-10-15 => Nat!Crit! 87 ( :jackiechan: What is going on?!)
1D100 = Nat! 1+15+15-20 => Nat!Fail! 11 ( :jackiechan: THREE NAT ONES?!?!?!)

|==================================|

Total Facepalming Picard Tally: VII

1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat Crit! 7 ( :facepalm: ...of course.)
1D100 = Nat! 96+25+15+10+5 = Nat!Crit! 151 ( :facepalm: Oh, screw off.)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20-15-10 => Neg!Fail! -4 ( :facepalm: Of course...)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = 11+15+15-20 => 21 ( :facepalm: Can anything be normal in my quest?)
1D100 = 85+15+10-15 => Art!Crit! 95 ( :facepalm: I'm done... I've had enough of this.)



@Randomnerd, thank you for the idea.
 
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After a quick dive of the wiki, I dont think we could do much better than Burgyone. Arrogant, foppish, and his only notable achievements in the OTL war were relieving the Siege of Quebec and getting 6000 redcoats captured.

Dude insisted on hauling along 30 carriages of fine clothes and wine while campaigning.
To be clear, Burgoyne remaining as Commander-in-Chief in North America is a bit up in the air. He could have this position more permanently or he could be replaced by someone like Guy Carleton, Lord Cornwallis, unlikely Prince William Henry (George III's younger brother), etc. Only time and my dice will tell.
 
Cornwallis when he shows up might become pretty important to the war.
After a quick dive of the wiki, I dont think we could do much better than Burgyone. Arrogant, foppish, and his only notable achievements in the OTL war were relieving the Siege of Quebec and getting 6000 redcoats captured.

I'm pretty sure Cornwallis also had a rivalry with Burgoyne, which is part of the reason he didn't support Burgoyne's southward push from Canada and instead went and captured Philadelphia. Having him come in early is just going to have both of them butting heads even longer.
 
I'm pretty sure Cornwallis also had a rivalry with Burgoyne, which is part of the reason he didn't support Burgoyne's southward push from Canada and instead went and captured Philadelphia. Having him come in early is just going to have both of them butting heads even longer.

Don't think it was Cornwallis that did that?
 
I'm pretty sure Cornwallis also had a rivalry with Burgoyne, which is part of the reason he didn't support Burgoyne's southward push from Canada and instead went and captured Philadelphia.
Having checked, it was actually Clinton who opposed Burgoyne's push from Quebec. Not because he had a rivalry with Burgoyne but because he believed it was a foolhardy movement. His relationship with Howe (then Commander-in-Chief in North America) had become strained by then as well.
 
as I am writing the negaverse I want to ask this Duke.

Will you allow me to roll the dice. For the memes?
 
British seem to agree on leaving Boston with Loyalists. Though curious on what they need to roll to succeed or at least partially succeed. Losing to trained militia in defensive positions is one thing. It's another to either surrender or get captured by said militia army. Need to leave like yesterday.
 
Hmmm might get some looks from this question but could a character be made for the British side? With two generals losing their positions might need some people to take their place. Probably wouldn't be a General at the start but could earn it? Though wouldn't even know where to begin on making a character.
Yeah, I want Halbert to have his own nemesis.
 
Having checked, it was actually Clinton who opposed Burgoyne's push from Quebec. Not because he had a rivalry with Burgoyne but because he believed it was a foolhardy movement. His relationship with Howe (then Commander-in-Chief in North America) had become strained by then as well.

It's still a really bad move to hang Burgoyne out to dry. Howe was supposed to have his troops moving north to complete the double envelopment.
 
For the possible British OC, I'm not really opposed to it as much as I am not fond of having to keep track of so many OC's. I'd only be accepting of one British OC before calling it there.

Need to leave like yesterday.
They're fortunate in that the Americans don't have a substantial naval presence yet. They won't suffer as big maluses as before when evacuating, though they will suffer them.
 
[Non-Canon] Magoose: George Washington Quest New
The American Cincinatius (NO SV, You are George Washington, Fight for Liberty and Maintain your Reputation)

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♦ Topic: The American Cincinatius Quest
In: Boards ► Questing
King Billy
(Original Poster)
Posted On May 9, 2024:
The American Cincinatius American Revolution Quest

--------

You are George Washington, a man of many titles, each a reflection of your past roles and accomplishments. Some call you George Washington, Esq., others refer to you as Colonel Washington or the Delegate for the Virginia Colony. Each name carries with it a piece of your history, a thread woven into the fabric of who you have become. Yet now, standing on the cusp of a new era, none of these titles hold the weight of the one you are about to bear.

You have undertaken the final and most formidable challenge of your life, one that will define your legacy for generations to come. You are now Commander-in-Chief of the Continental Army. General of a fledgling nation's only hope. Savior and protector of the American Republic. The task before you is monumental. You are not just stepping onto a battlefield but into the heart of a revolution that will either secure the freedom of millions or plunge them into deeper subjugation.

This is no ordinary war. The enemy you face is not only well-equipped, well-funded, and well-trained, but they are the same people who once snubbed you, dismissing your abilities and denying you a commission among their ranks. For years, they treated you with indifference, refusing to acknowledge your worth as a soldier or a leader. The scars of past failures weigh heavily upon your shoulders. Fort Necessity was a dark mark on your reputation that many believe you could not overcome. Skeptics whisper that you are not up to the task, that your missteps in previous campaigns will surely doom this great experiment.

The road ahead will be long, brutal, and uncertain. You will lead a ragtag group of farmers, tradesmen, and rebels, many of whom have never held a musket in their lives against a force, against the might of the British Empire. There will be days when hope seems lost when your men waver, and when even you may question the righteousness of this endeavor. But you are not fighting for glory or fame. You are fighting for an ideal that transcends any single man: the promise of a free nation, born not of tyranny, but of the will of the people.

And so, with your reputation on the line and the fate of a nation hanging in the balance, you take the first step toward what will become the defining struggle of your life. Failure is not an option. Victory, though distant and fraught with peril, is the only path forward. You will lead, you will endure, and you will overcome. Because now, more than ever, you understand what is at stake. The world will remember you not for the titles you once held, but for the nation you helped create.

This is your mission.

Victory or Death.
---------------------------------------------

♦ Topic: The American Cincinatius Quest
In: Boards ► Questing
King Billy
(Original Poster)
Posted On Sep 17th 2024:

Become Commander in Cheif: You will work with Adams to nominate yourself to the position of Commander in Chief. Commander in Chief Roll:D100 => 65

You stepped forward into the halls of Congress, every eye upon you, expecting the moment to unfold as anticipated. Yet, a ripple of surprise crossed your face when another name entered the discussion for Commander-in-Chief of the Continental Army. Not one, but two.

Horatio Gates. Charles Lee.

Both men had strong backers within Congress, enough to pose a genuine challenge to your appointment. Gates, a former British officer with a sharp mind for logistics, had risen quickly through the ranks. He had the look of a seasoned commander, respected by some for his organizational skills and his experience with the British Army. Then there was Lee, eccentric and full of ambition, another veteran of the Crown's military. He carried with him a wealth of battlefield experience, but with it came a disdainful arrogance and a desire to carve out his own path, regardless of the consequences.

They had experience, that much was true—but experience that you found ill-suited for this war. Gates and Lee, for all their qualifications, were men of the old world. They would try to fight a European-style war, one that demanded disciplined regiments and proper armies maneuvering in open fields. But this fledgling nation, this scattered collection of colonies, did not have the resources to wage that kind of war. Not yet at least.

There were those in Congress—idealists, dreamers—who believed that soldiers would simply materialize, that the ragtag militias could stand toe-to-toe with the world's greatest empire if only given the right leadership. Some even believed that the mere act of rebellion would inspire every able-bodied man to rise up and fight. But you knew the truth. An army wasn't built on hopes and dreams; it required hard work, strategy, and the understanding of how to fight with what little you had. The colonies didn't have a standing army. They had farmers and tradesmen. Men with fire in their hearts, yes, but untrained and untested. They needed to be molded into soldiers, and that required time.

For a brief moment, it seemed the tide might turn against you. Gates and Lee had their supporters—strong ones, and they were making their voices heard. This decision wasn't as inevitable as you had thought. Doubt flickered in the chamber, tension mounting. The future of the army, and perhaps the revolution, hung in the balance.

Then John Adams rose to speak. His voice cut through the murmurs, clear and decisive. He gave his full and enthusiastic support to you. Adams, with his sharp wit and persuasive eloquence, championed your cause. He argued not just for your military acumen, but for your character, for the vision of a leader who understood the unique challenges this war presented. One by one, others followed his lead. The momentum shifted, but it was a damn near close thing.

Even as the decision settled, you knew the battle wasn't entirely won. Gates and Lee would have their say—they were too ambitious to simply fade into the background. They wanted positions of power, and you couldn't deny them outright. Both men were angling for prominent roles in the army, and though you were now Commander-in-Chief, you would still have to navigate the delicate politics of dealing with these men. They would need to be managed, and kept close, yet far enough from the heart of your strategy. You couldn't allow their old-world thinking to undermine the war effort.

Victory had been claimed here, but it was only the first of many battles. You would not just be leading an army into war; you would be guiding a nation into the unknown, and the people around you—men like Gates and Lee—could make that path treacherous indeed.
----------------------------------------------------------------

Well, than… I was not expecting the Congress vote to get so close, despite the failures of last quest weighing you down. Why is that?
-------------------

Goosemag:

Don't look at me, my dice were not involved in this bullshit!?
---
Cyberjensen:

By 5. We almost didn't become Commander in Chief by Five! Then again this is Congress. They make all the wrong decisions until they don't.
---
Marius:
--
I knew we should have taken that action with Adams, he's a bro, and we needed his support rather then sending money north to the Army that will soon be ours anyway.

Goosemag:

I mean, it was a good idea, do you see those Battle rolls!
quoted:
Results:

American Losses

1D97 = 86-20-10 = 56

56 dead or missing, 41 wounded

1D56 = 51

51 dead, 5 missing


British Losses

1D796 = 363+200 = 563

563 casualties left behind, 234 wounded evacuated

1D563 = 258

305 dead, 258 captured and/or wounded


Adding the Losses from First Bunker Hill:

Americans: 52 dead, 7 missing, 82 wounded.

British: 337 dead, 455 captured and/or wounded, 236 wounded recovered.


Were any of the King's Colors lost?

1D100 = 27+20-40 = 7 (Whoo...)

Two Regiments of Foot–the 22nd and the 52nd–lost the King's Colors in the confusion that was the rout at Breed's Hill. The first is particularly embarrassing as it's acting Colonel is one Thomas Gage.
---


They got fucked thanks to the supplies we sent north.
------

King Billy:

Unfortunatly, unlike in our Timeline, you are going to have to work harder to get those two bastards out of your hair, else you might find yourself getting the boot when it is least likely.

Goosemag:

We need trust and time darnit… And that meanse we can't have a campaign season like 1776…we're doomed i say, Doomed.

King Billy:

You all choose hard mode thanks to that little dust up in the last quest. You are all suffering your choices.
--
Marius:

Damn you King Billy for having us suffer the consequences of our actions…

Also… do we have any assets that could be used.
--
King Billy:

Wait till you get to Boston… and maybe I will tell you that you have some damn fine Americans that can be useful.
------------------------------------------------------

A few pages later:

Marius:

Did that guy just blow up a boat?

Goosemag:

A Ship… an actual, fucking Royal Navy ship blown up by a few fisherman...

King Bill:

I told you you would have assets... Problem... he's an abolitionist.

Misher:

Of course. Why couldn't things be easy?

AN: @Duke William of

Negaverse writing is hard.
 
[Canon] Magoose: Things Happen New
2. Sarah and James finally talking and bonding over trauma.

Liberty kids omake: Things happen.

James couldn't stop the tremor in his hand, no matter how hard he tried. He pressed the quill to the paper, focusing on the task at hand, scribbling down another interview for Dr. Franklin. But the trembling persisted, growing worse with each passing moment. It was as though his body was betraying him, refusing to obey even the simplest command. His fingers twitched, making the letters uneven, the ink smudged. His frustration mounted with every failed attempt to steady himself.

The harder he tried to control it, the more uncontrollable it became. His hand shook, his breath quickened, and his thoughts spiraled. Finally, he snapped.

With a burst of rage, James crumpled the paper in his fist and hurled it across the room. The balled-up page hit Sarah squarely in the back.

"What is the matter with you!?" she snapped, her voice brittle with exhaustion. She whipped around to face him, her eyes heavy with sleeplessness and frustration. Both of them were at their breaking point, and it showed. The dark circles beneath their eyes, the tension etched into their faces, they were two people running on fumes, frayed and on edge.

Sarah had been trying to busy herself with anything, just as James had. She'd been sorting through her own paperwork, letters she didn't care to send to her mother that she wanted to make better, less terrible, reports for Arthur that didn't matter, that he just gave to let her do something to help. But the busy work was all they had to cling to, a way to keep the intrusive thoughts at bay. Every night, when they closed their eyes, the horrors they had witnessed returned in vivid detail.

Neither of them had slept properly in days. The nightmares were relentless, pulling them from sleep into a waking world that didn't feel much better. They were trapped in a cycle of exhaustion and anxiety, each feeding the other, making the days blur together into a haze of frustration and fear.

They had both received the same advice, from Dr. Warren and Arthur Smith, no less. They had both been told the same thing: Give it time. Time to heal, time to process the horrors they had seen. But it didn't feel like time was on their side. The memories of blood and battle were too fresh, the screams of the dying too loud in their minds.

James raked his hands through his hair, trying to calm his breathing. "I don't know," he muttered, his voice tight with strain. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Sarah sighed, her irritation fading into something more resigned. She crossed the room, picking up the discarded paper, and smoothing it out. Her movements were slow, and deliberate, like someone much older than her years. Maybe because she wanted to take some kind of control that she needed and she needed it more and more with each passing day.

Sarah sank down beside James without a second thought, as if her body had acted on its own, driven by an overwhelming need for rest. The weight of exhaustion pressed down on her, making every movement feel heavy, deliberate. Neither of them spoke for a while. They just sat there, side by side, unmoving, as if the mere act of sitting was the only thing keeping them grounded in that moment.

James broke the silence first, his voice hoarse and raw. "Do you hear the screams too?"

Sarah didn't need to answer. She nodded slowly, her eyes distant. The sounds of battle, of dying men, echoed in her mind just as they did in his. Words couldn't fully capture the horrors they'd both witnessed, but in that brief exchange, they understood each other perfectly. There was no need for further explanation.

A moment passed, stretched thin by the silence between them. Then, at last, Sarah spoke, her voice soft but resolute. "We should go back to Philadelphia."

The word hung in the air… home. It was a place that felt safe, or at least safer than here, surrounded by war and death. In Philadelphia, they could escape the constant reminders of the battlefield while traveling with the army. They could hide from the nightmares for a little while, maybe even pretend that life could go back to something resembling normal.

James looked at her, his eyes clouded with uncertainty. "And then what? Just... stop?" His voice cracked, laced with bitterness. "Just go back to pretending none of this happened?"

"No," Sarah replied quietly, shaking her head. "Not to forget. Not to pretend. Just to rest."

There was a vulnerability in her words that hadn't been there before, an admission that even she wasn't strong enough to keep going without breaking. It wasn't about giving up, it was about survival. They both needed to step away, even if just for a moment before the war consumed them entirely.

James clenched his hands, his fingers still trembling. The thought of rest, of escape, was tempting, but the guilt weighed heavy on him. He didn't know how to stop. He didn't know how to rest when there was so much still to be done, so many lives at stake, that could be saved with their words. "How do we rest?" he asked, almost pleading.

Sarah glanced at him, her eyes softening. "We start by forgiving ourselves."

"And how do we do that?" James asked.

"That's for us to find out."

AN: And two omakes for the bounty.
 
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Someone should do a Negaverse of a "Redcoat Quest" where all the rolls against the British have gone exactly the same as this quest and the thread goes into total meltdown
 
Negaverse writing is hard.
Reward: +15 to all rolls for Americans during the Omake Rolls, and +5 to Relations with George Washington.

AN: And two omakes for the bounty.
If you could please provide a title for this omake, I would appreciate it. :)

Reward: +20 to the Action "Press Release" this turn, and unlocks special Actions involving these kids of liberty.

And that's three bounties taken! I'll give it one more day for the last bounty to be collected, and then the vote is closed before I get to writing the update.
 
Finished watching The Crossing, a movie about the Crossing of the Delaware and the Battle of Trenton, and I have to say I enjoyed it. :) Got some things I want to say about it.

Positives:

The acting was great all over the board. Jeff Daniels plays a great George Washington who is both larger-than-life and very human. Sebastian Roche as John Glover, as @Sertorius said, was an absolute riot, and I loved his blunt and sarcastic exchanges with Washington. John Henry Canavan's portrayal as Henry Knox was also a small highlight for me.

The humor lands most of the time. I audibly laughed when George Washington told Knox to "not swing your balls or you'll swamp the boat." This comes right after Knox had told Washington that Glover had insulted him for being fat. It's a bit mean-spirited, but I can see it as the director wanting to show Washigton's charisma by helping cheer up the soldiers.

The aesthetic is also amazing. The costumes all look amazing (in a historically authentic sense, not in a overly-glamorized sense) and you can just feel the harshness of the situation Washington and his men are in. Two soldiers are shown smoking poop and corn silk instead of tobacco, with one using candle wax to keep his gunpowder warm.

The soundtrack is also nice, and I like how it has gravitas while not being too bombastic.

Negatives:

It's still a movie, though, so there's some Hollywood dramatics thrown in with how men are comically thrown into the air by cannons instead of being delimbed and blasted into gore. I'm a little understanding of this, though, since the producers and director probably didn't want to make an R-rated film.

These next two, however, I'm less understanding of. In the movie, Washington sends two of his men to dispatch of five to six Hessians in a guard house before they attack Trenton. I don't understand why Washington would have only two men doing this. I don't care if he was told that the Hessians were drunk and asleep, it's still unnecessarily stupid to send just two men into this situation, especially if one of them is your aide-de-camp. Also, Hamilton was not Washington's aide-de-camp nor part of his staff at this point.

Lastly, the movie states that no one was killed or injured during the Battle of Trenton, which is just a big lie. Two men froze to death along the way to Trenton, and five men were wounded at the actual battle. Among them were William Washington, George Washington's cousin, and James Monroe, a future president of the United States of America.

Overall, 8.5/10. Not the greatest movie out there, not the greatest American Revolution movie out there, but certainly worth your time.


View: https://youtu.be/5jgEMrK1lcM?si=C2k8FYvWqfzE2fQA
 
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